1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show. Everybody. Hey, everybody, welcome back. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: I'm Diana and I'm Eli. Thanks for joining us again. 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 1: We're here with part two of Empress Alagaboless story and 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: her thirsty hunt for Rome's biggest dicks, slaughtering anyone who 5 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 1: gets in her way, and also just slaughtering anyone for 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: any reason at all. Yeah, that's kind of her thing, 7 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: her whole m O. She loved it. But how are 8 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: you What's happened in the last two days? Anything good? 9 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: I mean a lot of work. Of course, it was 10 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: cool to to have our first two parter. People seem 11 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: to be excited for this next part, so that's cool. 12 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: I'm very excited. We went and saw In the Heights. 13 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: We did see In the Heights. That was really fun. Yeah, 14 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: go see In the Heights. Really one of the top 15 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 1: movie musicals. Definitely very well, I mean just very creatively 16 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: filmed and beautiful to watch. So if you're asking me, 17 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: I would say that I can tell that he wrote 18 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: it before Hamilton's because I think Hamilton's is a better 19 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: musical overall. And I mean that in terms of I 20 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: think the songs have the plot a little bit more 21 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: and the character arcs are a little stronger some of 22 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: the some of the character arcs in the Heights are great, 23 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 1: but like we talked about, the main romance kind of 24 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: lacked a little motivation at first, like it was mostly conflict. Anyway, 25 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: it's still really really good. I loved it and the 26 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: really the way that it's shot and directed is above 27 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: and beyond. I just thought it was gorgeous. Yeah, yeah, 28 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: really fun for sure, very cool creative scenes. The dance 29 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: scenes were a lot of fun. Yeah, totally. I thought 30 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: some of the songs were kind of boring. It's a 31 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: hot tag. I'm gonna get some musical theater games, so sorry. 32 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 1: I'm not great at me liking musicals in the first place, 33 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: so I have to I have to listen to it again. 34 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: But some of the songs I were like, I was like, 35 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 1: I forgot that immediately. Y'all may find that I have 36 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: a much stronger musical theater background than Diana does. I 37 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: grew up with it, um Diana did not, and that 38 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: I think that really alters your perspective and what you're 39 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: willing to appreciate and to tolerate. I mean, there are 40 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 1: some my love you know what I mean, and definitely. 41 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: Like we watched Into the Woods the other day too. 42 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: That was really fun. I liked it a lot better 43 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: than I thought I would. And I liked that movie 44 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: better than the play. Oh well, there you go. But 45 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: and then of course we're watching Loki. Okay, God, I'm 46 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: just we're also big m c U fans here, and oh, 47 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: don't get me started, but you did so the I 48 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,079 Speaker 1: think can when I talk about I tweeted about this. 49 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: I don't know if I always saw about Owen Wilson 50 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: and Loki is killing it. I mean, it's just above 51 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 1: and beyond. Uh, I think what he could have done. 52 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: I've heard Owen Wilson isn't a big comic books fan, 53 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: so he was already like a hard get. So I 54 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: think you can tell that this is a character they 55 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: brought to him and they said do you care about this? Like, 56 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: if we bring you a character that you care about, 57 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: will you play it? And he said, yes, I'm going 58 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: to work on this. And he really has put the 59 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: work in. I think he could have phoned this in. 60 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 1: And he's awesome. I mean, in addition to them being 61 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: really funny together, Uh, he's given a real strong performance. 62 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: I think he's just real showing a lot of range. 63 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: I think the ways that he is interacting with different characters, 64 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: like if he's talking to the judge or if he's 65 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: talking to Loki. There is a subtlety in his performance 66 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: that's just very different, and I think it's I think 67 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: it's awesome. I just that that episode it really stood 68 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: out for me, and um, it's just so good. They've 69 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: all been so good. I've been I've enjoyed it. Yeah, 70 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: I'm I'm kind of excited to see it ramp up, 71 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: sort of like one division where you're like, I'm on, 72 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: I'm on this ride. I'm I'm ready for this ride. 73 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: But I'm not like obsessed with it yet. I feel 74 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: like I need to. I need to know a little 75 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: bit more about what's coming before I'll be like, oh, shoot, 76 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: we're about to do this, like because I don't feel 77 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: out of anticipation yet. I guess I think I thought 78 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: I would. But it's also been a very busy couple 79 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: of weeks, so it might just have been subsumed by 80 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: other ship. But Falcon Winter Soldier was like that too. 81 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: I mean, are not your average TV shows. These are 82 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: These are six to eight hour movies. Yeah, they don't. 83 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: They don't mind making you wait a minute to fall 84 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: in love with it, because it builds like a movie does. 85 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: They are not beholding to the rules of a traditional 86 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: hour long TV show in that each episode doesn't need 87 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: to stand alone, each episode doesn't need its whole its 88 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: own whole arc. Uh and and to some degree they 89 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 1: do because they're well written too. But but they they're 90 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: not really bound by that sort more traditional format. You know, 91 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: you you could watch just you know, any old episode 92 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: of most pre two thousand four TV shows, and I 93 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: think even other shows, even like Madmen or Lost or something, 94 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: you could still pop an episode in and be like, 95 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: I love this one. But there's no one episode of 96 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 1: Falcon Winter Soldier that I'll be like, I'm just going 97 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,479 Speaker 1: to watch that one. You know that that will never happen. 98 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: I think the same is true for Loki. I think 99 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 1: these shows are very much, you know, long movies broken 100 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 1: into weekly chunks. But we could spend an hour speaking 101 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: of gender fluid, powerful godlike figures. We've got the second 102 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: part of Ella Gables. Yeah, you know what, We've wasted 103 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: enough time here, so let's dive right in. Hey, their 104 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: friends come listen, well, Elia and Diana got some stories 105 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: to tell. There's no match making, all romantic tips. It's 106 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: just about ridiculous relationships. A love. It might be any 107 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: type of person at all, and abstract cons at a 108 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: concrete wall. But if there's a story where the second clans, 109 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: we'll put it in a show Ridiculous Romans, a production 110 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: of iHeart Radio. Previously on Ridiculous Romance. Listen up, soldiers, 111 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: it's Julia Mason. I'm gonna pay you to support Ella Gables. 112 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: Oh you know what, Ella Gobulus, I'm gonna need a 113 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 1: minute before I decide whether I support you or not 114 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 1: at times out Hey, I heard Ella Gables has opened 115 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,599 Speaker 1: up the baths to the public. Yeah, but you can't 116 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: get in without an eight injure, Ella Gabulus, I'm so 117 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: upset that you murdered my husband to marry me. Well, 118 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: jokes on you, because I'm about to divorce you and 119 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: go back to the vessel Virgin because she ain't ever 120 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: heard him no more? You will Ella Gabalus ever find 121 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: true love? Will anything stop her casual cruelty and rampant murder? 122 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: Will she ever find the biggest dick in Rome? To 123 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: find out? Now on Ridiculous romance, so aquilias several kind 124 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: of falls off the historical record at this point. We 125 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: don't know exactly what happened to her um in the 126 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: end of her life, but it's assumed that she was 127 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 1: just kind of hanging out in the background during all 128 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: this upcoming stuff. Yeah, we just don't know, unfortunately, mostly 129 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: because it seems that Ella Goblis shifted her focus to 130 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: a new man. This guy was a slave turned gladiator 131 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:02,280 Speaker 1: turned charioteer. Total hunk, Hi reclease give it up for 132 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: this glorious gladiator. This beautiful blonde is a humble hunk 133 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: of herculean hamm. Now who will win this epic battle, 134 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: this civil slave or these three starving lions, Well, I 135 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: don't know, but I know it's the definition of a 136 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: fair fight. Man. Like many of our other characters, very 137 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: little is known about Hierracles except that he was at 138 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: some point enslaved as a gladiator, just like our favorite gladiator, 139 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 1: just like our favorite Spaniard Australian Roman gladiator with a 140 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: British accent, Russell Crowe, And just like him, he won 141 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: his way up, working his way from spear wheelding gladiator 142 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: to a full fledged chariot racer. Well, here comes Hierracles 143 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: from lion bade to chariot racer. This guy has worked 144 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: his way up from lowly slave to lowly chariots. Here 145 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: and here he comes around the bend. He is turning 146 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: less and here comes another left. I think getting exciting 147 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: in the fourth left now as the cherry's heres are 148 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: all making a whift, I'm on the edge of my 149 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: seat makes thrilling the Nascar of its day, truly, and 150 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: people were bored, you know, he had to watch something. 151 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: Hierracles was initially a student and lover of his trainer, Gordius. Cassius. 152 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: Dio writes that after making his way to Rome one day, 153 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: this hunky blonde Hiracles fell out of his chariot right 154 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: in front of the Empress, and his helmet fell off, 155 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: and she was just stricken with him and rushed him 156 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: back to the palace. So I'm picturing like Brad pitt 157 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: let into the fall hat with the water on it. 158 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 1: She was like hearts in her eyes, and she said, yeah, 159 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: coming with me to realm to the palace. And they 160 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: rushed back to the palace and they fall in love. 161 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: And Ela Goblis was obsessed with Hierocles, and Dio writes 162 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: again about her desire to be caught in the act 163 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: of adultery and punished for it. I mean, this is 164 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 1: this has come back up, he writes, for she wished 165 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 1: to have the reputation of committing adultery, so that in 166 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: this respect to she might imitate the most lewed women, 167 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: and she would often allow herself to be caught in 168 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: the very act, in consequence of which she used to 169 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: be violently upbraided by her husband and beaten so that 170 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 1: she had black eyes. He says that she loved him 171 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: more for it, and even tried to make Hiericles the 172 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: Caesar of Rome, which is outrageous. I mean, She's like, 173 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to take this charioteer from nowhere and I'm 174 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: going to marry him, and I'm going to be the 175 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,319 Speaker 1: emperors and he's going to be Caesar. So people are 176 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,959 Speaker 1: starting to lose their ship at this girl and the 177 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: crazy Fine, but don't put a slave in charge of 178 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,680 Speaker 1: this place. I don't need know work in class Caesar. Yep, 179 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: she fought with Julia Masa about it. This kind of 180 00:09:56,160 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: started their head butting, and the military did not like this. Either. 181 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: The Praetorian Guard was like the central part of the 182 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: military that specifically was tasked with guarding the emperor empress. 183 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: And you need their support if you're in charge, because, 184 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: like we said, otherwise you might find yourself getting stabbed 185 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: in the back. So the most important people to keep 186 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,679 Speaker 1: on your side of the Praetorian Guard. And Julia Maso 187 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 1: is noticing that they do not like this bit with hieracles, 188 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,839 Speaker 1: not not at all. But even even even her love 189 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: of hiercles could not withstand particular thing that she liked 190 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: more than anything else. She is thirsty. She had this 191 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: standing order, as we talked about earlier, for people to 192 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 1: be on the lookout for gentleman of a certain description. 193 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: And this guy, Aurelius Zodicus was chilling in Smyrna, not 194 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: the one that we know the ancient Roman Georgia. But 195 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 1: he was an athlete and the son of a cook, 196 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 1: and according to Cassius Dio, he had a huge dick. 197 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,560 Speaker 1: Now just imagine your dick is so big that it's 198 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,839 Speaker 1: like a part of history. Now, wow. And and this 199 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: is just a standing order across the empire. Everybody knows 200 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: if you see a big dick, you better get word 201 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: back to to Empress Ella Gobolus, And so they did. 202 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: Her little bird scout word back to her. Before you 203 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 1: know it, Zodocus has whisped away to Rome. He arrives 204 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 1: in a huge to do to bring a massive escort 205 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: with him before he even sees Ella Goblis. He's bestowed 206 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: with a fancy title, he's got garlins, he's escorted into 207 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: the palace. Ella Gobolus sees him and sprang up with 208 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 1: rhythmic movements. And when Zodocus said, my Lord Emperor, hail 209 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 1: as was the standard greeting, Ella Goblis quote bent her 210 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: neck so as to assume a ravishing feminine pose, and 211 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: turned her eyes upon him with a melting gaze and answered, 212 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: without any hesitation, call me not lord, for I am 213 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: a lady. And the two of them retired to the bath. 214 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: She saw that he lived up to his reputation. She 215 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: went all googly ie wow, melted into his chest and 216 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: ate dinner while resting on his body. Yeah, a good body, 217 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,679 Speaker 1: and somebody is not going to challenge your authority, so 218 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: she was looking for now. Hiericles was a little jealous. 219 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,720 Speaker 1: They had fallen pretty deeply in love, but it wasn't 220 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: really just that he feared that somebody was gonna end 221 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: up dead here. He was like, me, Zodicus, somebody, this 222 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: isn't going to end well for one of us. This 223 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 1: is a wild card. We need to we need to 224 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: tamp it down at some point. But he was coming 225 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 1: from a lower class. He had made a lot of 226 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 1: friends in the palace, especially the serving staff. So he 227 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 1: goes to the cup bearers, and this is all written 228 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 1: in Cassius Dio's accounts, so we can we can call 229 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 1: this history. He goes to the cup bearers and they say, hey, 230 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: we to do something about this. And they find a 231 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: drug that would render Zodicus impotent, and Cassius deer writes 232 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,319 Speaker 1: quote and so Zodocus, after a whole night of embarrassment, 233 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: being unable to secure an erection, was deprived of all 234 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: the honors that he had received, and was driven out 235 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: of the palace, out of Rome, and later out of 236 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: the rest of Italy. And this saved his life. This 237 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: is another thing where it's like, my erectile dysfunction is 238 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: also a part of history, but at least it's written 239 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 1: down unequivocally that it was not my fault. This was 240 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 1: a drugging it works. Oh man, what else did Ala 241 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 1: Gobolus get into? Apparently she would also prostitute herself out 242 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 1: around the city the Empress. Even in the palace. She 243 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: would go into brothels and kick out the sex workers 244 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: there and take over herself. She had a special room 245 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: in the palace where she would quote outstand nude at 246 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,439 Speaker 1: the door of the room as the harlots do, and 247 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: shaking the curtain which hung from gold rings while in 248 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: a soft and melting voice, she solicited the pastors by, 249 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,720 Speaker 1: and of course the pastors by were all paid by 250 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: the palace to oblige her and and play the part 251 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: of a John, A willing John. I guess honestly, she 252 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: would be blowing up on only fans. She would have 253 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: a hell of an only fan, would have a very well, 254 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 1: she would make sure of it if you like, Why 255 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: don't she sign up for my only fans? It's ten 256 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: septums a month, and if you don't, I'll cut your 257 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: head off. Oh shit, I guess here's my ten symptoms. 258 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: Can I prepay for a year? Now? Honestly, when we 259 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 1: get into it, her gender variance and nonconformity seemed to 260 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: be kind of at least of anyone's problem with her. 261 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 1: And that's not to say they were accepting, because they weren't. 262 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: And she did loose support, especially from the army after 263 00:14:56,240 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: like marrying Hiracles and promoting him to these position sans. 264 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: But um, they did take issue with that, But they 265 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: also kind of went along with it. For the most part. 266 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: Everyone was like, whatever, she's in charge, she's the late 267 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 1: little empress, and you know, I don't know, she was young. 268 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: Maybe they thought it was a phase or something. You 269 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: know how people are that are less accepting. They kind 270 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 1: of went along with it. But really what really turned 271 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: everyone away from her were her intense religious beliefs and 272 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: her like spoiled and clearly often violent behavior, and that 273 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 1: was what really kind of pushed the public away from her. 274 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 1: Especially says that Ella Goblis and her mother Julius Aemias 275 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: and her grandmother Julia Mesa would get together and hold 276 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: these quote barbaric chants to Elagabal and here's where it 277 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: gets a little gross. They would slay boys and they 278 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: would close inside this temple a lion, a monkey, and 279 00:15:55,320 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 1: a snake, and then she'd toss severed human genitals inside. 280 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 1: So that's pretty intense historia. Augusta makes some of these 281 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 1: more extreme claims about her, and we kind of mentioned 282 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: earlier it's generally agreed on that this is the less 283 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 1: reliable text because again, people were talking ship. But even 284 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,040 Speaker 1: if these are exaggerated, these stories about you're about to 285 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: hear are exaggerated, there's still pretty bad um. She would 286 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 1: invite eight men to dinner. Specifically, they would have some 287 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 1: unique qualifying feature, like she would invite eight bald men 288 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: or eight deaf men, or eight one eyed men, or 289 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,240 Speaker 1: eight men with gout or something like that, and she 290 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 1: would find some way to mock them for that feature, 291 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: You're such a loser. And sometimes she would deliberately invite 292 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: eight fat men to dinner and laugh at them for 293 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: not being able to fit on the one small couch 294 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: that she had for them to share. It sounds like 295 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: she was a bad host. Yeah, that's what I would. 296 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 1: I'd be like, bitch, you know, you invited eight of us. 297 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: Two couches at least are required for eight people. What 298 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 1: a body shamer? Seriously, like earlier a blemish she got 299 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 1: to divorce. Now she's like, fat guys can't sit together. 300 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I was just making fun of people for whatever. 301 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 1: I mean, everything and anything was entertainment to her. She 302 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: was just kind of spoiled rotten in that sense, as 303 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,479 Speaker 1: long as it was mean. She didn't have a lot 304 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 1: of nice entertainment. She created a challenge where people had 305 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: to come to the palace and invent a new sauce 306 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 1: for food. Right, She's like, I'm sick of this, come 307 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 1: up with something else, Give me something good, and the 308 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 1: winner she would offer a very large prize, something really nice, 309 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 1: a silk garment, which was rare and a mark of 310 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: honor at the time. But if the sauce didn't please her, 311 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: the person who made it would only be allowed to 312 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,920 Speaker 1: eat that until they came up with something better. It's 313 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: like the truly the Gordon Ramsey of of her day, right, 314 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 1: the Gordon, the Gordon, the Gordeous Ramsey's Ramsey's, the Gordius 315 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: Ramsey's Pluto's Kitchen, Pluto's Kitchen. Yeah, welcome to Gordia's Ramsey's 316 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: is Pluto's kitchen. Today's contestants are Barcus the Younger and 317 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 1: Tiberius Minimus. But it looks like Barcas didn't use enough 318 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: saffron in his flamingost what are you idioticus sandwichicus and 319 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,199 Speaker 1: ugly damn, But it's kind of cool. She did come 320 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 1: up with a cooking challenge, Yeah, because we always like that. 321 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: If you're ever looking for anything you have in common 322 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 1: with people in history, we love it. A cooking challenge, 323 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: just slightly abusive. She wanted to know the price of 324 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 1: any piece of food that came to the table, but 325 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 1: she wanted it exaggerated, like she wanted them to say, like, 326 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: and here's your roast ham, it costs six hundred septoms 327 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: and and you know when it was like fifty. She 328 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,640 Speaker 1: just needed everyone to hear how much money she had 329 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 1: and she was spending again, She's never not had so 330 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 1: much money. One dinner, she had brought in the heads 331 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: of six hundred ostriches so their brains could be served. 332 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: How how do you find six hundred ostriches? She did 333 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: this thing where she held a feast that started in 334 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,439 Speaker 1: one person's house, and then the next course would be 335 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 1: another person's house, and then another person's house across like 336 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: the whole length of the city of Rome. It took 337 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: them all day. They barely finished. By the end of 338 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 1: the day. Each course they would take a break in 339 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 1: between meals and go like lounge around and the baths 340 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 1: and the pools with ladies and all this crazy ship. 341 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: She purchased a very famous and beautiful prostitute for one 342 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: hundred thousand sister seas and then kept her untouched as 343 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: though she was a virgin. That's kind of like, Oh, 344 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: you're a sex worker. Here's all the money and you'll 345 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: you'll make in. I don't know how long it takes 346 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,400 Speaker 1: to make a hundred thousand sistr ces, right, She was like, now, 347 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 1: I just have sex when you want to. Here's a 348 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: ship done of cash, and you know, don't worry about 349 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,160 Speaker 1: sex anymore. I don't know. I guess she wasn't allowed 350 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 1: to even if she wanted to. Maybe not, that might 351 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 1: be rude. She said she didn't wish to have sons 352 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: vote lest one of them should chance to be thrifty, 353 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: which is one of those times where I'm like, kind 354 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: of a boss, that's hilarious. What a great reason. I 355 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 1: don't want a kid who doesn't know how to spend 356 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 1: some money. I need some wild ass motherfucker like me. 357 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: She would bring guests in for dinner and then get 358 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:22,399 Speaker 1: them drunk. Sure like you do, and then shut them 359 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,119 Speaker 1: up in a room to fall asleep at night. And 360 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 1: there's a nice dark room if you fall asleep in 361 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,199 Speaker 1: drunk ee see you in the morning. And then in 362 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: the middle of the night she would crack open the 363 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 1: door and release lions, leopards, and bears into the room. Now, 364 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: they were all supposedly tamed, so she was just trying 365 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 1: to freak everybody out when they woke up, either in 366 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: the morning or worse in the middle of the night 367 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:50,119 Speaker 1: and saw a lion or a bear in there. But 368 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: it is said that a few may have died during 369 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 1: this little prank, probably from a damn heart attack, yeah, 370 00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,880 Speaker 1: or a bear. I mean, how tame can who tamed them? 371 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 1: And how do they know? Man? She sometimes she would 372 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,920 Speaker 1: say that guests were parasites, and maybe they were. Maybe 373 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: it was a bunch of sycophants and she was sick 374 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: of it, sick of sick of sickophants. But to punish them, 375 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: she would tie them to a water wheel, like you 376 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: know that you know water. She would tie them to 377 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,679 Speaker 1: this water wheel and plunge them into the water and 378 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,399 Speaker 1: then bring them back after the surface again as the 379 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:30,359 Speaker 1: wheel rotated, so kind of like basically water boarding, early 380 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 1: water boarding, proto water boarding. She also invented an early 381 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: version of the whoopee cushion. Wow, it's not really a 382 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:42,360 Speaker 1: fart machine like we have, I guess, But guests would 383 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: sit down on inflated pillows and then she would have 384 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: the air lead out while they re seated, so that 385 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,679 Speaker 1: suddenly they would slide off their chair and under the 386 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:55,479 Speaker 1: table without realizing their cushion. What a Prank's kind of hilarious. Well, 387 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,000 Speaker 1: I'd beel if that's what happened to me. I'd be like, 388 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 1: thank God, Oh my god, I got off so easy. 389 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: I didn't get them bear in my sleep. My bald 390 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,679 Speaker 1: friend was a lot sadder at the end of the 391 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,200 Speaker 1: start and dinner than I am. But then one time 392 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,160 Speaker 1: she gave an order that quote, an amount of public 393 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 1: grain equal to one year's tribute should be given to 394 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: all the harlots, procureurs, and catamites who were within the 395 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 1: city walls, and promised an equal amount to those without. 396 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 1: So that's not bad. I mean, there was a big 397 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,960 Speaker 1: surplus of grain that had been built up by Severus 398 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 1: and Trajan, and she was like, let's give this to 399 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,720 Speaker 1: some of the sex workers. Again, very pro sex workerblis, 400 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 1: at least in terms of patronizing or being or being. Yeah, 401 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,879 Speaker 1: she was all about it, right, but she Yeah, she 402 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,639 Speaker 1: seemed to just really admire sex workers. So she wanted 403 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: to take care of them, you know, she was thinking 404 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 1: about them. That's good. Yeah. And then she'd have bath 405 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: houses built, she would bathe in them once and then 406 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 1: demolish them, and is said to have done the same 407 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,119 Speaker 1: with houses and imperial headquarters and summer dwellings. She was 408 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 1: creating a lot of construction jobs. Yea, she was doing. 409 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 1: That's what we should just demolish the White House every 410 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: four years. What plenty of work, right. But but again, 411 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,879 Speaker 1: as history Augusta says, they even say, quote these and 412 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,679 Speaker 1: some other things which surpassed credence, I believe to have 413 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 1: been fabricated by those who wish to vilify Ella Goblis 414 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: in order to curry favor with Alexander. So she was 415 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: a mixed bag that just keeps coming back to that. 416 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 1: She does some good things, she does some horrific things. 417 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,840 Speaker 1: Who's Alexander? Alexander that's a new name, and the much 418 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 1: easier one to say, why don't we get back to 419 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 1: Alexander after this commercial break. All right, welcome back to 420 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 1: the show. If you're just joining us, it's a podcast, 421 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 1: Go back and listen from the beginning. Yeah, that's kind 422 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: of weird. We're about to learn about Alexander. So Julia 423 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:55,479 Speaker 1: Masa our boss, grandma, grandma, boss bitch. She was seeing 424 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 1: that Ella Goblis was becoming unpopular, and like we said, 425 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 1: she had already started to fight against some of these 426 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 1: things and try to push Ella Abolis into a more 427 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: popular direction. I guess so Amias was like, all these haters, whatever, 428 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:14,400 Speaker 1: I'm standing by Ella Abilis no matter what. But may 429 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: says a bit of the longer thinker, I think, and 430 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: she was seeing nothing but trouble coming ahead. The Praetorian 431 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,920 Speaker 1: Guard was particularly disgusted with Ella Gabolus, and as we've seen, 432 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 1: their support is crucial. Ella Goblis had actually threatened Masa's 433 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 1: life when she pushed back against her naming Hiraicles the 434 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: new Caesar, but Julie Masa cooled her off and stayed alive, obviously. 435 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:42,720 Speaker 1: And Julia Masa had another grandson by another daughter, another Julia, 436 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: named Julia Avita ma Maia, and his name was Severs Alexander, 437 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 1: and he's about fourteen. They love a fourteen year old. 438 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 1: We just love to give a fourteen year old impression. 439 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,680 Speaker 1: It's great, great time to manipulate someone. So anyway, he's 440 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,200 Speaker 1: four years younger than Ella gab Lists. And somehow Julia 441 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:07,399 Speaker 1: Mason convinced Ela Abilis to adopt Alexander. Yeah, basically, Alexander 442 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: shows up in Rome and Ela Gobulis brought him before 443 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: the Senate and she has the Julia's standing on either 444 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: side of her, and she declares to the Senate that 445 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 1: she quote had no need of any other child to 446 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:24,560 Speaker 1: keep her house from despondency. She said that God eligabal 447 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 1: had told her to adopt him, so she kind of 448 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 1: like made it her decision, you know, like instead of 449 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 1: I wasn't told to do this, My grandma didn't tell me, 450 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,880 Speaker 1: God told me. I think that she herself was kind 451 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: of like getting a little overwhelmed and might not have 452 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:44,119 Speaker 1: minded sort of splitting the rule a little bit. Well, Plus, 453 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: she's in love with Hierachles and she knows they're not 454 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: going to have children together, so maybe she was like, yeah, okay, 455 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,640 Speaker 1: I should adopt I know I need some succession kind 456 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 1: of happening, and yeah, I don't know if she's sucking 457 00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,200 Speaker 1: the vestal virgin still or not. But you know now 458 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,440 Speaker 1: the Senate praised her for this. They were like, yes, yes, 459 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,720 Speaker 1: so adopt Alexander. We think that's a great idea. They 460 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: are clearly already thinking this is might lead to something 461 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,399 Speaker 1: better than the situation they're in. And in Castius d o, 462 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 1: Ela Goblis said, quote, yes, you love me, and so 463 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: by Jupiter does the populace, and also the legions abroad. 464 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,119 Speaker 1: But I do not please the praetorians, to whom I 465 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 1: keep giving so much. That's true, she could not keep 466 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 1: those praetorians happy. I don't know that she was popular 467 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: amongst the populace. It might have been a bit of 468 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: an exaggeration, you know. I think that she had a 469 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: different idea of what was going on than anybody else 470 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: at any given time. Well that's an emperor's life right there. 471 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,719 Speaker 1: You live in a tunnel, for sure. So everyone's on board. 472 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 1: Alexander was appointed as her heir, and he's given the 473 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 1: title of Caesar. Together they were named Console Designatus for 474 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 1: the following year to two, and Alexander and Ella Goblis 475 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 1: got along great for a while. And if she hadn 476 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,399 Speaker 1: tinue to love Alexander. She may have survived and you 477 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 1: would know anything about her. But unfortunately we've also seen 478 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 1: she was prone to suspicion, and she learned that men's 479 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:15,360 Speaker 1: favor was turning to the young boy, especially the Praetorian Guard. 480 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: So Elagabilis started scheming. Not for nothing, She's got Julia blood. 481 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: She's a Julia in there somewhere, and do says that 482 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 1: when someone said how fortunate she was to be in 483 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:32,200 Speaker 1: console together with her son, she replied, quote, I shall 484 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: be more fortunate next year, for then I'm going to 485 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 1: be in console with a real son, which is like 486 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,199 Speaker 1: real wishful thinking, unless you know somebody is pregnant already. 487 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:44,600 Speaker 1: I mean, you know it takes almost a year to 488 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 1: have one, right, well, and then what you're going to 489 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,880 Speaker 1: be a consoled with a baby whatever. At any rate, 490 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,439 Speaker 1: she was losing all any excitement about Alexander being around. 491 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,240 Speaker 1: She even went to the Senate and tried to get 492 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:58,119 Speaker 1: them to approve stripping Alexander of his shared title, and 493 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,760 Speaker 1: of course the Senate was like no, no, oh, no, 494 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,600 Speaker 1: we're good with this the way things are, So she 495 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: tried to have him assassinated instead. Classic move. The first 496 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 1: one failed because Alexander was heavily guarded by guess who, 497 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 1: Julio Masa. Julia was in the right place at the 498 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,639 Speaker 1: right time, She made sure of it. The soldiers and 499 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 1: the Pratorians guarding Alexander flipped their ship when they stopped 500 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: the assassination attempt. They knew what was going on. They 501 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 1: were so pissed because everybody did like Alexander better, and 502 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 1: they demanded Ella Goblis come down to the soldiers camp 503 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 1: with Alexander. They were like, get down here, we're gonna 504 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: talk this out. We're gonna work it out. And Ella 505 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 1: Goblis gets there and she supplicates and just gets down 506 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: on her knees and begs the soldiers, and they demanded 507 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 1: that she give up all of her second partners. Basically, 508 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,800 Speaker 1: they're like, you've you've got this lady, You've got that guy. 509 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 1: You've got these people over here, those people are there. 510 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 1: Give him over. You got to give him up. This 511 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: is We're done with this. What for Hierocles. She pleaded 512 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: and pleaded to allow him to stay with her. It's 513 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: written in cassieus d O. She quote pointed to her 514 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 1: own throat and cried grant me this one man, whatever 515 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: you may have been pleased to suspect about him or else, 516 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: slay me. And they allowed it. They said, okay, all right, fine, yeah, 517 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 1: you and Hierocles you can go leave together. And everything 518 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,720 Speaker 1: kind of cooled off for a second, which I'll just 519 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 1: say that is romantic. She she had a bunch of 520 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,720 Speaker 1: partners they could take, and the one that she was 521 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 1: willing to save was Hierocles. I think there's a lot 522 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 1: of evidence here that they really did have a strong 523 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 1: romantic relationship. Whether it was healthy or not. Well, I'm 524 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: not for us to say, yeah, you're true, but but 525 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 1: I do think there was some real affection. Yeah. But unfortunately, 526 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 1: this cooling period did not last. She could not stand 527 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,360 Speaker 1: sharing power with alexand under and this time she just 528 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 1: started spreading rumors that Alexander was dying, hoping that people 529 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: would be like, oh, well he's about to die, so 530 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 1: I guess I'll be loyal to you again or whatever. 531 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 1: But instead it started a riot and the praetorian demanded 532 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,480 Speaker 1: she come down to the soldiers camp again because they're 533 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 1: just like, girl, what are you doing? You are such 534 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: a messy bit. But she showed up and saw that 535 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: so Amias and Julia mama Alexander's mom, were like at 536 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: each other's throats. They're fighting, they're hyping up the guards. 537 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 1: It's looking like a real serious situation, and she realizes 538 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: that it's going to be her execution. That's what their 539 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: plan is. This is no apologies, this is we're not 540 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: talking about this time. We're done. Yeah, it does get 541 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 1: pretty grim after this. If you're not into graphic violence, 542 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 1: you might want to skip ahead for a minute. Yeah, 543 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 1: just like one minute. She fled. She tried to escape 544 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 1: by hiding in a chest, but they found her. So 545 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 1: Amias her mother grabbed and clung to her and the 546 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: pratory and executed both of them. Their heads were cut off, 547 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: they were stripped naked, and both their bodies were dragged 548 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 1: through the city. So amy As his body was cast 549 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 1: aside and some unknown place, and elagabulis Is was weighed 550 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,000 Speaker 1: down and thrown into the Tiber River. She was only 551 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: eighteen years old. That's dark. It's so weird. How back 552 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 1: in the day it was like, not only do I 553 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 1: want you dead, but I want to really funk with 554 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,200 Speaker 1: your body afterward, you know, twisted. But I guess if 555 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: you believe that you're you enter the afterlife the way 556 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 1: you died, you know what I mean that it's like 557 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: a way to kind of ruin your afterlife too. And 558 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 1: there's this element of it too about I don't know 559 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 1: that the public reaction to it. I mean, this was like, Okay, 560 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,920 Speaker 1: she's dead and that that's kind of it. But then 561 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,960 Speaker 1: you're you've still got this hyped up mob, so you're 562 00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: giving them more to just continue to cheer about and 563 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,000 Speaker 1: and get amped about and not just like this like 564 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 1: she's dead, all right, everybody go home, Like it turns 565 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 1: into this ritual of cruelty and vengeance, uh, kind of 566 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,959 Speaker 1: letting everybody get it all out their systems to some degree, 567 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: to kind of put it coldly. But that's kind of 568 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 1: what people wanted. I mean, they didn't want just she's dead. 569 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,680 Speaker 1: We hated her so much. We want to funk up 570 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 1: her body, like whatever was left. We want to just 571 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:41,040 Speaker 1: destroy that, that reputation and that image. We want this 572 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: like really non metaphorical uh, destruction of everything she was. 573 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,760 Speaker 1: And it wasn't just her body, but also everyone she 574 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 1: ever cared about and loved. Many of her associates they 575 00:32:55,360 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 1: were also killed, including poor Hiericles, her religious edicts were reversed, 576 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 1: the stone of Eligiball was sent back to Syria. Women 577 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: were again barred from the Senate, although Julia Masa retained 578 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 1: her title, and there was a rarely used practice called 579 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 1: Damnatio memorial, which erased a person's history from the public record, 580 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 1: and they enacted that right quick. Yeah, I mean, this 581 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: was This is as harsh a punishment as you can give, almost. 582 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 1: I mean, they they scrubbed her from the record, and 583 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 1: this is why we have so little information about her today. Uh. 584 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 1: You know, Cassius Dio was writing books about all kinds 585 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 1: of goings on at the time. He had stories that 586 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 1: he transcribed, and there's a couple of other works too. 587 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,880 Speaker 1: But but in terms of official records, totally scrubbed take 588 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,400 Speaker 1: her out. And the same of so Amias. They actually 589 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:52,240 Speaker 1: had her declared a public enemy for siding with Elagabolos. Meanwhile, 590 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 1: Julia Masa, she knew what she was doing. She took 591 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 1: Alexander's side and she continued to influence his rule alongside 592 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 1: uh his mother Julia Mammia. She died sometime in the 593 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,920 Speaker 1: following like two to five years, but she was deified 594 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 1: and she appears on some coins, especially from like the 595 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:14,240 Speaker 1: Syrian area where she's riding on the back of a peacock. Again, 596 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 1: not too much information about her, but a lot more 597 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,840 Speaker 1: than the rest of the family. And I remember old Commason. 598 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: He actually survived this and he managed to keep his 599 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,359 Speaker 1: city prefect job, which was pretty crazy. That guy knew 600 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 1: how to win. Yeah, the real little finger of this 601 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,800 Speaker 1: game of Rome. Yeah. Now, Alexander continued to rule until 602 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,400 Speaker 1: two thirty five, when he and his mother were also 603 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 1: assassinated by disgruntled guards. So it's just history just repeating 604 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:44,840 Speaker 1: itself over and over again again. Roman Emperor hard Pass 605 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: not taking that job. Yeah, these guards stay mad like 606 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,200 Speaker 1: they're not never they're always mad. Kind of reason to 607 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: be piste off. They have a ship gig, so I 608 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: guess I would be there. And this is what's their recourse. 609 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 1: You know, it's not like they can to go out 610 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 1: and vote every four years because they're pissed off. My 611 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,319 Speaker 1: vot voting is really they should really be leaning into 612 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:10,919 Speaker 1: this voting thing. There are other ways. All right, let's 613 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,840 Speaker 1: take a quick break and then we'll come back and 614 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 1: finish up a conversation about Ala Goblis and we're back. 615 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,759 Speaker 1: It is stated over and over and over again in 616 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,840 Speaker 1: the modern research and analysis of Ella Goblis that we 617 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 1: can't really say that she was someone that would have 618 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 1: fit well into the contemporary understanding of gender theory or feminism. 619 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 1: She was fully a product of her time, right, and 620 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,280 Speaker 1: it's been almost two thousand years since she was alive, 621 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,760 Speaker 1: so obviously she herself didn't have the background of modern 622 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 1: trans discourse to apply to her identity. But as you 623 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: heard the story, she also consistently asked to be referred 624 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: to as a woman, as a lady, as an empress, 625 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,479 Speaker 1: as a wife. Her records were purged from official Roman 626 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,320 Speaker 1: records after her death. Like we said, and Anna Burns 627 00:35:56,360 --> 00:36:00,879 Speaker 1: in Spectrum South Rights that quote, Row and historians had 628 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,800 Speaker 1: a fundamentally different view of what history is. They viewed 629 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:08,440 Speaker 1: history as records of the state, not personal lives, and 630 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:13,359 Speaker 1: as propaganda. Right so in theory given how a documentation 631 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:17,280 Speaker 1: would sometimes attack an individual's sexual identity as a means 632 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: of destroying or harming their character. For example, there were 633 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 1: attacks on Julius Caesar claiming that he enjoyed gay sex 634 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:29,200 Speaker 1: and that he was submissive, or they basically called Julius 635 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,960 Speaker 1: Caesar a bottom in an attempt to disrupt his character 636 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,479 Speaker 1: the modern age because the modern age of the current age, 637 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 1: because ancient Rome was like especially Western ancient Rome, was 638 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:44,080 Speaker 1: hyper masculine, So we could suggest that Ella Goblis's entire 639 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,440 Speaker 1: gender variants could be fabricated or at least exaggerated by 640 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,440 Speaker 1: historians from that era. And also making Queer history dot 641 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:54,319 Speaker 1: Com suggests that Roman xenophobia and racism at the time 642 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 1: might also have attributed her femininity to Syrian stereotypes. I'm 643 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,560 Speaker 1: and again, femininity was among the highest insults to these 644 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,320 Speaker 1: guys because they sucked in many ways. But they the 645 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:12,200 Speaker 1: real Facebook group going on here, Yeah, but they did 646 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: have this, Yeah, that's sort of um prejudice against Eastern Romans, 647 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,239 Speaker 1: that they were more effeminate and fancy, and that this 648 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,200 Speaker 1: was something that was very negative to them. So this 649 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:25,840 Speaker 1: also could have been exaggerated as an attack. But Anna 650 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:30,120 Speaker 1: Burns points out that the three texts that do exist 651 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:34,400 Speaker 1: that discuss her, which is Cassie Steo, Historia Augusta, and 652 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:38,480 Speaker 1: the Marius Maximus biographies, all of them agree that she 653 00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: preferred to be referred to as a woman, so some 654 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,759 Speaker 1: of her atrocities may be exaggerated. But what we see 655 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,279 Speaker 1: from them is that she was very unliked, she was 656 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:51,279 Speaker 1: not popular, and her behavior was violent and not just shocking. Um, 657 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:55,280 Speaker 1: so we probably have an exaggerated picture of what actually happened. 658 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 1: Making Queer history dot Com also says I'm just gonna 659 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,239 Speaker 1: read this quote here. Another thing worth noting is that 660 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,960 Speaker 1: Ella Goblis came into power when she was fourteen. Part 661 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,000 Speaker 1: of the reason why people followed her so easily was 662 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,799 Speaker 1: because of how highly sexualized young boys were in that 663 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,759 Speaker 1: time and in that culture. And though Ela Goblis would 664 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 1: later make it clear that she was a woman, society 665 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,759 Speaker 1: saw her as a young boy and sexualized her as such. 666 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 1: Because of this, the amount of agency Ela Gobblis had 667 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 1: when making large decisions is questionable at best. Much of 668 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,560 Speaker 1: her bad behavior may be better understood when you consider 669 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 1: that she was a fourteen year old with the power 670 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,799 Speaker 1: that most grown adults can't handle. It's a great point. 671 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,319 Speaker 1: I mean, again, teenage years while don now living in 672 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 1: a palace. Everyone has to do exactly what you say. Yeah, yeah, 673 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,279 Speaker 1: I don't know that I'd be chopping off genitals and 674 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,479 Speaker 1: throwing their snakes, but but I think, yeah, you would 675 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:48,520 Speaker 1: definitely become well. And who knows what was like normalized 676 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: for her too in that palace, Like did she come 677 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,400 Speaker 1: up with the idea to kill a bunch of people 678 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: after she came to power, or did somebody say this 679 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 1: is what you do? You can't you can't trust them. 680 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: You can't trust them, right, you have to get them, 681 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: You have to get them, you know what I mean? 682 00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 1: You know, I feel like there's got to be somebody 683 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,680 Speaker 1: in this story and we just don't know who they are. 684 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,799 Speaker 1: That who who kind of was like, yeah, let me 685 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,839 Speaker 1: encourage this access to it to and to a degree. 686 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,920 Speaker 1: Voculation station who was whispering in all caps is here 687 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:19,839 Speaker 1: because I got a theory what it was Cassius Dio. 688 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,640 Speaker 1: He was a senator at the time. What if he's like, 689 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:29,359 Speaker 1: I'm going to make myself the best story anyone's ever written. Hey, kid, 690 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,880 Speaker 1: get over here. I got some ideas for you. That 691 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,000 Speaker 1: guy looked at you, funny. Don't you think this bassist 692 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,000 Speaker 1: guy probably didn't like what you were doing. Don't you 693 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 1: think these coins might be, uh might be the beginnings 694 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,480 Speaker 1: of a rebellion? Yeah? I know, it's just some jewelry 695 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,640 Speaker 1: the guy made for his girlfriend. But looks like a 696 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,520 Speaker 1: rebellion to me. I don't know. I mean, I'm not 697 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,719 Speaker 1: saying anything. It's just that I heard that they were 698 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 1: saying that you did. It's probably nothing. It's probably nothing. 699 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,360 Speaker 1: Just forget I said anything. Have a great day, I 700 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:00,920 Speaker 1: mean at all. On Stu, we do know who was 701 00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,680 Speaker 1: whispering in her ear, and it was Julia Mason, who 702 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,400 Speaker 1: was again pulling all the strings and always managed to 703 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,200 Speaker 1: come out on top. That Julia Mason. Yeah, I guess 704 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,960 Speaker 1: she's kind of a little finger. Yeah, she did have 705 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,399 Speaker 1: the the weather vane. She knew which way that wind 706 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 1: was blowing at any given time. So there's this frequently 707 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,239 Speaker 1: quoted article by a guy named John Dale from the 708 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,279 Speaker 1: Good Men Project, and I wanted to read that. Now, 709 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,319 Speaker 1: almost all the modern discourse quotes this somewhere in there 710 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:32,680 Speaker 1: um in their writings. One could perhaps single out as 711 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,799 Speaker 1: admirable her determination to be as open as possible about 712 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 1: her sexuality and about her own perceptions of her gender. 713 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,520 Speaker 1: But what of her equal determination to enforce her own religion, 714 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,719 Speaker 1: or her habit of having her critics murdered, or her 715 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:49,920 Speaker 1: attempts to dispose of the young Alexander personally? I just 716 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,000 Speaker 1: like knowing that there were people like Alagabulus around. I 717 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: like stumbling across them in corners of history where they 718 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,919 Speaker 1: were not expected, regardless of whether or not a case 719 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,280 Speaker 1: can be made for them having lived inspirational lit liives. 720 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,880 Speaker 1: Ela Gobulis's trajectory as emperor was determined less by her 721 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,440 Speaker 1: gender and sexuality than by the fact that she was 722 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 1: a spoiled teenager who had suddenly found herself to be 723 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,600 Speaker 1: in possession of absolute power. Like Caligula, Nero and Commitists, 724 00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,239 Speaker 1: she paid the inevitable price for being no good at 725 00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,600 Speaker 1: a job that she clearly should never have been given. 726 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 1: In this respect, at least, there was a certain tragic 727 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,160 Speaker 1: normality to her reign, and any history that finds a 728 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,279 Speaker 1: more prominent place for the empress should perhaps also find 729 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 1: a place for that fact. I mean, it can't be 730 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,440 Speaker 1: setting more clearly than I think that you know, this 731 00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,920 Speaker 1: was someone who just was in a position that she 732 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,600 Speaker 1: shouldn't have been in. I mean, from from before she 733 00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 1: was empress. I think she was already a really powerful 734 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:47,440 Speaker 1: teenager with all the money in the world with I 735 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,319 Speaker 1: think not a lot of perspective on what Rome as 736 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,359 Speaker 1: a whole was like, because she came from such a 737 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,560 Speaker 1: wealthy religious place, and I don't know how much can 738 00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 1: you expect from someone like that, but in an episode 739 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,759 Speaker 1: in The Power, it's very true. You have to keep 740 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,280 Speaker 1: it in mind. I know, it wasn't quite the same, 741 00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:08,280 Speaker 1: you know, fourteen at that time practically middle age. I guess, 742 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,359 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know what the lifespans were, 743 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,000 Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean they lived into their sixties and seventies. 744 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:18,120 Speaker 1: I mean, but but still you kind of were closer 745 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,760 Speaker 1: to what we think of as an adult today, younger 746 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,000 Speaker 1: than we would today, you know, I mean you were 747 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,640 Speaker 1: definitely you were working. It was not uncommon, I think, 748 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 1: to have younger marriages, marriages, I mean, they were already 749 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:31,799 Speaker 1: like you should be a high priest. They were like 750 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,120 Speaker 1: Alexander's fourteen, time for him to take over. It's you know, 751 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,879 Speaker 1: it just seems like an age that people were kind 752 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,880 Speaker 1: of cool with, like eighteen, you can smoke, you know whatever, fine, 753 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,839 Speaker 1: you know, kind of just a different perspective on that age, 754 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,799 Speaker 1: I guess, just to say, but still a human being, 755 00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:52,760 Speaker 1: still likely going through puberty at this time at these ages, 756 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:57,160 Speaker 1: and having growing up rich already, but then being thrust 757 00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:01,120 Speaker 1: into this incredibly powerful because as and where she literally 758 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,800 Speaker 1: could spend money however she wanted to treat people however 759 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,600 Speaker 1: she wanted, you know, I mean, obviously there's consequences, as 760 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,200 Speaker 1: we've seen, but they take a while, you know what 761 00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,839 Speaker 1: I mean. And you if you're trying, if you're established, 762 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,879 Speaker 1: it becomes very difficult to rout you out and build 763 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 1: a rebellion around you. Another reason why I'm like, maybe 764 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:21,080 Speaker 1: somebody's like talking in her ear because they're like, if 765 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,680 Speaker 1: you're really brutal, people won't you know what I mean, 766 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,880 Speaker 1: they'll be too afraid to step to you or whatever. 767 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:31,160 Speaker 1: And so she's like, yeah, let's go extra hard on 768 00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:35,480 Speaker 1: on all these dudes, you know. I mean again, I'm 769 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,879 Speaker 1: totally speculating there, but well that's all we're doing now. 770 00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:42,239 Speaker 1: Going back to the religious element too, here's someone who 771 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,439 Speaker 1: basically believed that she was imbued with the power of 772 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:49,560 Speaker 1: a god. Right, So when I think you've got that 773 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,120 Speaker 1: kind of foundation of your beliefs, I think maybe that's 774 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,080 Speaker 1: why so many Roman emperors, you know, took the job 775 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,640 Speaker 1: and got killed, because they didn't believe that could possibly happen, 776 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,680 Speaker 1: even if it happened. A hotter times for for but 777 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 1: not me. I'm chosen. I'm special. I'm the main character. 778 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 1: And and what a character, you know, literally, I mean 779 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 1: not everybody is what she was, But man, what does 780 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:18,000 Speaker 1: that do for your mindset? And you know, your belief 781 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,960 Speaker 1: about your consequences again, I mean, like you said, they'd 782 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,520 Speaker 1: take a while to come around, and why would you 783 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,719 Speaker 1: think they were ever going to come around? You know, 784 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,480 Speaker 1: if they're not immediate. And she probably didn't grow up 785 00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:30,640 Speaker 1: with a lot of consequences for many of her actions. 786 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,520 Speaker 1: And I mean grow up again, we're talking about until 787 00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,400 Speaker 1: she was fourteen. I mean she died at eighteen, So 788 00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,040 Speaker 1: how much opportunity did she have to grow? You can't 789 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,759 Speaker 1: separate the fact that she did terrible things and hurt 790 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,839 Speaker 1: a lot of people, killed a lot of people. But 791 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 1: you know, she's it's that's bad, okay for us. This 792 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,600 Speaker 1: is the first time I've ever heard of her, and 793 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,600 Speaker 1: I think this is fucking fascinating now. I found out 794 00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,880 Speaker 1: about her and learned about her through a lot of 795 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:04,239 Speaker 1: you know, contemporary LGBT blogs, some trans discourse, some just 796 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,880 Speaker 1: about queerness, and they sort of point to her as 797 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 1: a famous trans historical figure. So in my you know, 798 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:16,920 Speaker 1: in our ciss as education, uh public school in the suburbs. 799 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,040 Speaker 1: Obviously she never came up. And again, there's not that 800 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:23,799 Speaker 1: much information about there, and there's so many Roman emperors, 801 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,440 Speaker 1: you know, you can't learn about them all. But I 802 00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:29,160 Speaker 1: think it's cool that she's there, and I think she's 803 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,840 Speaker 1: really worth learning about. Yeah, in fact, from making queer history, 804 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:36,719 Speaker 1: they say, quote though she was undoubtedly worth remembering, she 805 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,680 Speaker 1: may also be one of the people in the queer 806 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:43,240 Speaker 1: community's history that isn't deserving of any reverence. She was queer, 807 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:47,120 Speaker 1: and she was also a very violent and justifiably hated person, 808 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,840 Speaker 1: but her bad behavior was not because of her queerness. 809 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,759 Speaker 1: It is far more likely that her age played the 810 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:58,520 Speaker 1: biggest part in her terrible decisions. I would also say, um, 811 00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:03,160 Speaker 1: the money. Yeah, grow up with a lot of money. 812 00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:04,799 Speaker 1: You get into a lot of money, You have so 813 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,880 Speaker 1: much to spend that nobody can say nothing to you. 814 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:11,720 Speaker 1: I think I think it makes you make bad decisions. Yeah, 815 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,560 Speaker 1: I mean at that level. Sure, Yeah, she clearly had 816 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,359 Speaker 1: a lot going on. Yeah. Elagabolus not not a hero 817 00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:23,439 Speaker 1: by any means, but definitely one of these complicated people 818 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,520 Speaker 1: of history. It's totally worth looking at. Definitely worth knowing 819 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:30,399 Speaker 1: about people were people all throughout history, and they told 820 00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,680 Speaker 1: jokes and they pranked, and they acted like dicks and 821 00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:36,439 Speaker 1: they looked for dick and you know, I mean, that's 822 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,120 Speaker 1: what's fun to me about looking into history is finding 823 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,120 Speaker 1: these characters and these like they seem kind of modern 824 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,680 Speaker 1: and a lot of their their sensibilities and what they 825 00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,480 Speaker 1: wanted and stuff like that, and it just reminds you 826 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,960 Speaker 1: that they're still human even though their culture is so 827 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,160 Speaker 1: different and their time period was different, and they had 828 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,520 Speaker 1: different learning and different knowledge than I have. They were 829 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,040 Speaker 1: a lot like me, They're a lot like you, you 830 00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,720 Speaker 1: know what I mean. They were just wilding out, bouncing around, 831 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,040 Speaker 1: reacting to things. Right, But what a story. I'm really 832 00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,160 Speaker 1: glad to have learned about her. Like we've been saying, 833 00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:07,600 Speaker 1: and we could just keep re saying it over and 834 00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,840 Speaker 1: over again, but she was cool, she was complicated, and 835 00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,799 Speaker 1: she was horrible altogether at once. So you know, let 836 00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,759 Speaker 1: us know your thoughts, because this is definitely a thought 837 00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,279 Speaker 1: provoking person. There are so many stories in ancient Rome. 838 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,560 Speaker 1: I mean, ancient Rome was around for thirty eight million years, 839 00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 1: so I love I've got it's so late to get 840 00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,480 Speaker 1: into this but I do love that sort of time crunch. 841 00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,080 Speaker 1: I think we've talked about it a little bit before, 842 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:34,840 Speaker 1: about you know, when things happened in historical eras that 843 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,480 Speaker 1: were hundreds of years apart, but we condensed them, I 844 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,839 Speaker 1: think back in our mind. I mean I feel like, 845 00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:43,680 Speaker 1: not literally, but there was a part of me that thought, oh, 846 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:47,480 Speaker 1: ancient Rome was from you know, ten thousand BC to 847 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,000 Speaker 1: a d and Julius Caesar was emperor for most of it. 848 00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:57,319 Speaker 1: That's like, obviously doesn't make any sense, but but you 849 00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,560 Speaker 1: have that sort of condensing of his story. I think 850 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,600 Speaker 1: that happens in your brain where you think these eras 851 00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,080 Speaker 1: all stacked on top of each other and everybody knew 852 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:07,759 Speaker 1: each other, but they didn't. I mean, I think we 853 00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,160 Speaker 1: have that with ancient history more than modern history, because 854 00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,960 Speaker 1: like modern history is that meme where it's Barbara Walters 855 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,080 Speaker 1: and Frank and Martin Luther King well born in the 856 00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,960 Speaker 1: same year, but we think of them as like totally 857 00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:23,200 Speaker 1: different eras of the time, you know, like fifty years ago, 858 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,200 Speaker 1: so long ago. But it's like to ten a D 859 00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,840 Speaker 1: well whatever, it's all the same as the caveman and 860 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:34,920 Speaker 1: the dinosaurs or whatever. Look reach out, talk to us, 861 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,080 Speaker 1: tell us what you think about the show, about Ella Goblis, 862 00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,200 Speaker 1: about other stories you might want us to tell where 863 00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:41,759 Speaker 1: we want to hear them. I mean, we've got a 864 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:45,040 Speaker 1: list that's gonna take us well passed the New year. 865 00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,200 Speaker 1: But but we'd love to hear what you guys think too, 866 00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,960 Speaker 1: because sometimes we find one that's just like yes, I mean, 867 00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:51,960 Speaker 1: I didn't find this story until last week and we 868 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:53,880 Speaker 1: had to. We had to jump in with it right 869 00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,040 Speaker 1: away because it's so wild. But yeah, we are romance 870 00:48:57,239 --> 00:49:00,400 Speaker 1: at I heart Media dot com right, and you can 871 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,560 Speaker 1: reach out to us on social Media's were on Twitter 872 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,799 Speaker 1: and Instagram. I'm at Oh great, it's Eli, I'm at 873 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:09,800 Speaker 1: Dianamite Boom. And we also have at predict Romance on 874 00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:13,280 Speaker 1: Instagram and Twitter chops and you follow that or messages 875 00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:16,000 Speaker 1: there and we can't wait for the next one. We'll 876 00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:19,480 Speaker 1: see you in the next episode. So long, friends, it 877 00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:23,080 Speaker 1: is time to go. Thanks so listening to our show. 878 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,759 Speaker 1: Tell your friends neighbor's uncle's in dance to listen to 879 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,520 Speaker 1: our show. Ridiculous Well Nance