WEBVTT - #167 How To Find Happiness Every Day 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:04.800 Did you think your fiance was the source of your happiness, 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:12.920 Because she's not. She's absolutely not. No human is and 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.640 if as long as you think that, you will be 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:31.400 disappointed every time. Welcome to the podcast, everybody, Thank you 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.000 for watching, Thank you for listening. Wherever you're coming from, 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:36.120 love doing this. It's been a crazy time in my 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:38.000 life because you know, we just put out this movie 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:41.960 called moon Rise just a few days ago, last Thursday, 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:44.879 December fifteenth, on pure Flix. So if you haven't seen 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:48.120 it yet, go go streaming on pure Flix. And you 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:52.199 could see me representing a character. My character, maybe in 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:55.200 a lot of ways, is representing some of these questions 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.840 that I get. Maybe I could say that this podcast 0:00:57.880 --> 0:01:02.600 your questions inspired a lot of Will Brown, the character 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:05.320 that I play in this movie. Perhaps maybe that's what 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:07.959 I do on this podcast. I answer your questions. I 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:10.000 always got time for you. No matter what we got 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:13.920 going on with music or touring or radio show after midnight, 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:17.400 or or movie or book. I got time for the podcast. 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:19.640 Got time to sit here and listen to your questions. 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:23.319 You email me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:25.840 walk through them like we're two friends. Cab of a truck, 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:27.840 sitting around a campfire, or however you want to look 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:30.480 at it. And I don't have notes in front of me. 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:35.080 I don't have a bunch of famous quotes or statistics 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:37.200 set out in front of me. I'm just gonna I'm 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:39.959 gonna read your question, and I'm gonna instantly answer it 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:43.920 without prepping, like we're just two friends, like I would 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:45.440 hope to give advice to a friend, and like I 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:48.080 would hope to get it back if I asked the question. 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:51.120 That's really all. It is so not always right, but 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:54.600 I'm hoping I could lead you in the best direction 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:57.800 that I know how. That's what this podcast is. Let's 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:01.640 dive into the first question subject line. Here he says 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:06.440 trying to become an Eagle Scout before eighteen. The question says, Hey, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:10.119 mister Granger, I'm Jacob. I'm from Washington. I'm fifteen years old. 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.160 I've been in the Boy Scouts for five years now, 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:14.840 working through all the ranks and merit badges. I have 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:18.000 seven Eagle badges left and lots of paperwork left to 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:21.440 fill out. I need to hold a position for twelve 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:24.160 months on top of all that before I turn eighteen. 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:27.720 I find myself staying up late each night writing and 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:31.440 completing requirements. But it's getting stressful. It seems like I 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:33.680 have so much work left before I can complete it, 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.800 and I don't know if I'll have enough time. I 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:40.240 guess my question is how could I work through getting 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:44.079 it all done without stressing and worrying about what will happen? Thanks? 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:47.400 Looking forward to it. Always love listening to your podcast 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:51.320 while I'm working, Jacob Jacob, Thank you, buddy. I appreciate 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:54.040 you so much. Thank you for thank you for writing in, 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.400 and thank you for listening at fifteen while you're working. 0:02:56.440 --> 0:03:00.440 I love that. I think that's so Cool's the thing, 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.240 this is crazy. You wrote this without even saying it. 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:09.160 You you You used the subject line almost as a 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.840 humble brag, right, like trying to become an Eagle Scout 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:15.680 before eighteen. Now, you wouldn't have said it that way 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.560 unless you knew. Humble brag is a big deal, dude, 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:22.080 And I'm happy for you, and I'm not disagreeing. I 0:03:22.080 --> 0:03:24.200 think that's a really big deal. It's something I didn't do, 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:29.080 become an Eagle Scout before eighteen, Like that's that and 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:33.240 live a life. You do that because you want it 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:35.160 on your resume. You want you want to do things 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:36.720 in life that you could look back and go, man, 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.160 that was that was tough when I did it. But 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:43.680 here's the irony. The irony is by you trying to 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:49.440 do something hard, you're then literally complaining that it's hard. 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:53.560 Of course it is, you know it is. Becoming eagle 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:56.480 scout is not easy. If it was easy, everybody would 0:03:56.480 --> 0:04:00.400 do it. If it was mildly attainable, anyone else would 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:02.640 do it because it's good for the resume. You can eat. 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:05.480 You an eagle scout. Yeah, everybody's an eagle scout. It's 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:10.600 so easy. No, it's difficult because it takes sacrifice, it 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:14.200 takes hard work, it takes dedication. So through this sacrifice 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:17.520 and hard work and dedication, you're seeing what the cost 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:21.120 of that really is. You won't even realize it till 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:24.600 years go by and you're you know, maybe fifteen years, 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:28.119 you're gonna look back and go, Wow, that was tough. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.080 Like I laid it all out there. I remember back 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:33.320 when I was a teenager and I became an eagle scout. 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:35.560 I laid it all on the line, and that was 0:04:35.839 --> 0:04:39.000 the hardest thing I've ever gone through. And I'm so 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:43.360 happy that I did. That's why, that's why you're doing it. 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:46.640 That's why we do hard things. So then we turn 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.560 around and we go, I did it. I persevered through it. 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:53.600 The sacrifice was difficult. Now it's not a surprise though, 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:56.159 that now you're in it, you're in the arena and 0:04:56.200 --> 0:05:00.200 you're in the battle, and you're going, hey, this is hard. Good, 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.440 that's my thought. Bring on the heat, make it harder. 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:06.760 That would be my thought to you, Jacob. And you're like, what, 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:10.520 bring on the heat. That's what I will tell you. 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:14.080 Bring it on the harder, harder it is right now 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:17.720 for you to do. The harder it is, the more 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:19.360 you're gonna be able to kick back one day and go, 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:24.120 I did it, I completed it. The easier it is, 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.080 who cares, The less you're gonna talk about it, the 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:30.560 less it even matters in your life. Lean into the 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:38.000 hard things. You got this buddy, nice question. Subject line says, 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:42.440 long relationship with troubled times they grant you. My name 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:46.279 is Jaden. I'm twenty three. Already I'm like dude twenty 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:50.320 three in a long relationship. Okay, I'm ready. I'm twenty three. 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.520 I'm from Kentucky, but I live in Indiana. I met 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:56.120 my mouth Beyonce in twenty seventeen, but we've been together 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:59.400 since August of twenty seventeen. We now have a sun 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:04.360 born January thirteenth, twenty twenty one. We have grown a 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:07.080 lot since we met. We've had our fair shares of issues. 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:10.400 Our current issue is she isn't happy with my ability 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:13.839 to give her attention and sex. I feel like I've 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:18.280 grown out of our relationship. I find myself thinking more 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:22.159 and more that getting out of the relationship would be better. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:24.840 I care for her, but I'm not sure what I'm 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.680 supposed to do if I'm not happy. I'm afraid of 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:34.159 splitting up because but splitting up our family because we 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:36.840 have days here and there that are amazing. But I've 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:41.760 lost sexual attraction to her, and to her our sex 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:45.239 life gives her the attention and love that she lacks. 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.480 Thanks Granger, your podcast has given me hope that there 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:56.360 are answers. God bless lowercase G. You didn't write lowercase G. 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.839 I said that, but you wrote God in lowercase G. 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:05.960 I think it's important to call that out. Jaden Bro, 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:09.640 Thank you so much. Thank you for Thank you for listening. 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:15.520 Twenty three. Thank you for tuning in and trusting this podcast. 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:21.680 That means a lot. Let me dive in here. Okay, 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.280 this is the first thing that sticks out. There's a 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:25.480 lot of things that stick out in this question. The 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:28.360 first thing that sticks out is this sentence right here. 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:34.680 I care for her, but I'm not sure what I'm 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:40.000 supposed to do if I'm not happy. Oh did you 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:43.760 think that she was the source of your happiness? Oh? 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:49.320 Did you think your fiance was the source of your happiness? 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:57.480 Because she's not. She's absolutely not. No human is. And 0:07:57.560 --> 0:08:00.240 if as long as you think that, you will be 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:06.320 disappointed every time because it's a human and humans will 0:08:06.400 --> 0:08:10.360 let you down. There not the source of your happiness. 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.600 Are your joy? Are your hope? Are your peace? Or 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:18.640 your love? That comes from your creator? Your identity comes 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:23.200 from the one that made you. Everything else, like a 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:28.320 fiance is a gift to enjoy from the creator. But 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:30.679 it's not the source of it. It's not the source 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:33.440 of happiness. You mean to prove it to you, I 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:38.200 could prove it in another thing that you said. You said, 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:44.079 I have lost sexual attraction to her. Oh man, I'm 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:48.199 so sorry. You're twenty three, you're twenty three, you've lost 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:52.000 sexual attraction to her. First of all, you know on 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:54.040 this podcast I'm going to say that we don't have 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:59.280 sex before marriage. Why, Oh, there's problems kind of like 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:02.880 what's happening with going on here? The waters are getting muddy, 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.600 there's a child involved. Now you're not married yet, and 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:07.840 now you're doubting whether you're not you should even be 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:12.520 in it. Now, this, this is setting a path. This 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:16.440 is setting a path that's hard to recreate, correct for 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:19.280 the child. Right. Okay, Now I've said on this podcast 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:22.040 before it's ruining the child's life. I don't I don't 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.840 mean it that way. I don't mean to say it 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:28.840 that way, but I do say that it makes it difficult, 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:36.480 It makes it more a path that's more difficult to straighten. Okay. Now, 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.560 with a difficult path sometimes that makes us better. But 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:41.960 we don't want to intentionally make a difficult path for 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:44.480 our kids so that they can then recorrect and make 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:47.040 them better. That doesn't make any sense. We want to 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.280 we want to set them off on a course that's 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:54.319 that's favorable to them, and divorce or separation from biological 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:58.560 mama is not favorable. Okay, So we got that now, 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.040 back to my point. I'm to prove to you that 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.800 your happiness does not draw from this woman. You said, 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:08.080 our sex life. I've lost sexual attraction to her, that's 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:11.880 what you said. Bro. Oh here's another question I have. 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:16.240 Do you think that sexual attraction is the reason you 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:19.760 love someone? Do you think that sexual attraction is the 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:26.400 reason you stay with someone? Let me bring up a point. 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:31.720 Remember Pamela and Anderson. Everyone remember Pamela Anderson right Baywatch? 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:35.240 She was like the babe of America. Hey, she was 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:38.000 like the babe of the world for a long time 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.800 in the nineties or whatever. Remember the movie Borat was 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:45.000 all about that. It was all about the babe Pamela Anderson. Now, 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:49.320 in all due respect to miss Anderson, has anyone googled 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.760 her lately? Has anyone done a Google image search of 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:58.160 Pamela Anderson? Like I said, all absolute due respect, I'm 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:00.920 just trying to prove a point. Not a babe anymore. 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:05.760 She's not a babe on Baywatch that anyone would want 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:11.040 to watch. Just saying like, I hesitate saying that because 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:14.280 I want to be very respectful, But babes are gonna 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:17.600 lose their babe isms, right, Like we all get older, 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:24.040 the guys and the girls. We get older, we get wrinkly, 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.400 we gain weight around the waist. That's what happens to 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:29.960 all of us. So what do you do then, Buddy's 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:32.440 that's my question to you, Jaden. What do you do 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:36.200 then when the love of your life is sixty five, 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:41.720 seventy eighty, ninety years old and all of that physical 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:47.000 attraction that you had when you're twenty three is completely gone? Oh, 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:51.640 because it needs more than physical attraction, because you dig 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:56.360 deeper than that, you look deeper than that. Because if 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.679 that's what you're going by, if you're going by physical 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:01.040 sexual attraction, if that's that's what you're going by, it's 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:04.960 gonna fade at some point. It's gone, Like maybe not now, 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:08.000 but maybe ten years, maybe twenty years, maybe thirty. At 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:11.040 some point she's not the young twenty year old girl 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:13.080 that you were attracted to at the very beginning, So 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:18.680 it takes more. So these are two major points. One, 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.000 you don't get your tax you don't get your happiness 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:23.680 from her. She's not the source of it. And two, 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.640 you don't base your relationship on whether or not you're 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:36.720 sexually attracted anymore. That's not a factor. And then she's 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:40.640 got the same problem because then you say to her, 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:45.320 our sex life gives her the affection and love she lacks. 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:49.760 What she lacking? What do you mean she the love 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:54.120 she lacks? I know what you mean, because that's our 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:58.240 society today. We're lacking. We're lacking. We need we're half. 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:00.840 We're I'll get a half a heart, then I need 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:03.240 someone to come in and give me the rest of 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.520 my heart. It's just lacking. My love is lacking. It's 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:11.480 like my heart is just in fragments. So I'm looking 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:16.720 for a soulmate to reconnect and make me whole. Like 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:22.280 that's the that's the idea, right, And then you realize 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:26.040 after a few years, Eah, it was better with half 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:29.040 a heart than to sit here in this miserable marriage, 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:33.400 to sit here unattracted to this woman that I have 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:36.320 three kids with and I don't really care. All she 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:41.280 does is complain, And that's the American idea. And so 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:43.960 then then you think, well, there must be somebody else, 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:46.560 somebody else. I was wrong, That's what it is. I 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:50.240 was wrong about my half a heart that this person 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:53.440 was gonna fill. There's somebody else out there that I 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:55.840 just messed up. The first time. But the second go around, 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:58.840 I'll find the one that's really gonna fill it, and 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.920 that person surely is the source of my happiness. I 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:05.559 just I messed up. I made a mistake. But the 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:10.000 next person, they they're the right one, Okay. And then 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:14.160 you realize, I think I did it again. I think 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.520 I messed up again. So I'm kind of thinking about 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:18.840 getting out of this one and trying a third time, 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:23.240 because third time's a charm, right, that's the trap we 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:27.880 get into. Here's what you do, Jaden. You make a 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:33.080 commitment to this girl. You say, look, I chose you, 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:36.240 you chose me. We made a child together. We're gonna 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:41.880 get married, and we're gonna stay committed because that's the 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:44.720 right thing to do, Jayden, that's the right thing to 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:49.120 do with integrity. You stay with this girl. You realize 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:52.160 that so many people, over so many years of history 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:56.600 before us, were in arranged marriages. You know that it's 0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:00.360 like a strange idea in twenty twenty two and Western 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.560 culture that we get to choose each other and we 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.360 date and court each other. That's a strange idea. In 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:10.720 the course of history, most people were arranged. You met 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:16.440 your wife on your wedding day, anyone's crazy. They usually 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:22.920 stayed together. Why because it was deeper than physical attraction, 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.600 Because it was deeper than looking for a source of 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:29.800 their own happiness in another person. It was more, it 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:34.680 was way deeper. It was a commitment to that person. 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.720 I will I choose you, I will stay with you. 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:44.320 I will be committed to you through sickness and health, 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:51.640 rich or poor. That's what we do. Those words used 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:55.200 to mean something in the Puritan days. They are gone. 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:59.480 Now commitment is gone. We just are so fleeting. We 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:04.320 flip a marriage like we do a TikTok. It's wrong. 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:12.520 Where's the commitment, Jaden, You're not going to find it 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.920 somewhere else? Take it from me. You might not want 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:17.360 to listen, you might not want to hear it, but 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.360 you will not find it somewhere else. You're going to 0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:23.680 be back at square one. You might see a nice, 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:26.680 shiny object out there, but that's not where your answer is. 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:31.760 Your answer is in the Word of God. It's in 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.400 the Bible. That's where you'll see it. That's where you'll 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:42.840 find it. Next question, before I go off on a 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:49.120 tangent subdecline. By the way, Jacob, I love you Bro, 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.640 I didn't say that. I tend to say that every question. 0:16:53.280 --> 0:17:00.920 I genuinely love you, Bro, Jaden. I have a tendency 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:02.960 on this podcast to kind of go off and to 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:08.040 sound harsh. Right, That's not what I mean. Okay, I 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:11.439 do that because I'm so passionate about this podcast and 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.879 I'm so passionate about my listeners and the people that listen. 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:19.360 If look at it this way, if I didn't care, 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.240 if I hated you, Bro, if I just didn't care, 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:26.520 I'd just move on, or I'd give you an easy answer, 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:30.439 I'd make it as quick as possible. But because I 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.360 do care, I just want you to know my heart. Man. 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:35.080 I want you to know my heart, and I want 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:38.480 you to truly walk through this life and go twenty 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:43.520 years down the road and go man. Granger was right. 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:49.440 I am. I am content now because I didn't seek 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:54.119 some fleeting happiness that I could never catch. And it's 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.919 not that I'm right, I'm just falling back on the Bible. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:03.000 Nice question off the SOAPBA subject line future career. Hey Grangel, 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:06.040 my name is Caleb. I'm sixteen in the southwest part 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:08.240 of Washington. I'm a sophomore in high school and I'm 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.280 struggling to figure out what I'm going to do in 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:12.280 the future. I want to be a rancher and learn 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.760 bull riding, but I'm certainly I'm currently not in a 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:18.920 place where it's easy to learn how to ranch. I've 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:21.480 been asking God what to do? What should I do? 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:25.200 How do I get started in ranching and rodeo? Sorry 0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:27.640 for asking a question like this when others have more 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.800 important things to worry about. Hope you have a great day, 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:34.720 God bless Caleb. Let me correct that. Why'd you say 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:38.000 that last thing to me? Don't say that, bro, I 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:44.080 mean everybody has questions that are heavy on their heart 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:48.200 and it's relative to their life, like this question right now, Caleb, 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:51.240 for you at sixteen in the southwest part of Washington, 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:55.960 sophomore in high school, struggling to figure out what you 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:59.119 want to do in life, Like that's top of mind, 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:03.520 that is event and very real to you, just like 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:08.120 Jaden had a very real issue going on at twenty three. Okay, 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:12.080 so don't take away from your own question by saying 0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:14.600 there's other people with more important things to worry about. 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.760 We're focusing on you right now, brother, This is you, 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:20.600 this is your time. Me and you cab by the truck. 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:23.719 Here we go. First thing I'm going to say is 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:28.080 if you want to be a rancher and a bull 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:33.199 rider full time, the first thing I would do is 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:38.560 find somebody that does that full time. And I know 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:41.080 there's some of them in Southwest Washington. I know for 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:45.760 a fact I've seen them. You seek out a rancher 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.320 and you go, hey, my name is Caleb. I'm sixteen 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:51.879 years old. I'm a sophomore in high school, and I 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:55.600 really want to ranch. I really want a bull ride. 0:19:56.359 --> 0:20:00.280 That's exciting to me. It's interesting to me, and I've 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:03.280 never been around people that do it. And I was 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:08.160 wondering if I could shadow you around next summer. I'm 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:11.520 willing to come there and work for you, and I 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:14.239 work for cheap, but I just want to shadow you, 0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:16.000 and I want to learn from you, and I want 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:17.560 to hear from you, and I want to see what 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:19.399 you do, and I'll see when you wake up and 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:21.320 when you go to bed, and what you eat and 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:26.040 everything you do in between. Can I do that? And 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:27.800 hopefully he says yeah, And if he says no, then 0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:29.680 you go to another guy and you ask the same thing. 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:35.119 But that's what I recommend with any career, like whatever 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:36.720 it is you're thinking. You want to be a police officer, 0:20:36.800 --> 0:20:38.760 you want to be a country music singer, you want 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:43.000 to be a bull riding rancher. You find someone, you 0:20:43.080 --> 0:20:45.960 just shadow them and you work for cheap. You make 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:48.359 them coffee in the morning, you take out the trash 0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:51.639 at night. You feel up his truck, You run errands 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:55.000 for him. You go to get his Jane starts for him, right, 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:59.560 You get his hat, his hat reshaped for him. You 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:03.000 do what ever he needs done, things that he goes. Man, 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:08.119 This Caleb kid is awesome, right. I took him on 0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:11.600 as a favor, But now I'm starting to think that 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:13.760 that the favor is all mine because he's the one 0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:15.520 doing all this stuff for me. He makes my coffee 0:21:15.560 --> 0:21:17.080 in the morning, he wakes up before I do, and 0:21:17.119 --> 0:21:20.399 coffee's ready and hot, and he warms up my truck 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:22.560 for me. I go out there in the cool of 0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:26.480 the summer and my truck is warm. You know, be 0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:30.040 that guy, Be that guy that's just no one can 0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:33.440 get rid of because you're too valuable. And in the meantime, 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:35.560 you're learning about ranching, you're learning about bull riding, you're 0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:39.399 asking hard questions. Hey, mister rancher, could ask you another question. 0:21:40.800 --> 0:21:43.199 How did you get enough money to start this? How 0:21:43.200 --> 0:21:44.920 did you get into that? Where did you get into this? 0:21:45.000 --> 0:21:49.199 How did you learn about this? And what you might 0:21:49.320 --> 0:21:54.040 learn is you don't want to do it anymore. You 0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:56.800 might walk away at the end of that summer and go, man, 0:21:56.920 --> 0:22:01.280 that was just not what I thought. That's not the 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:03.880 career I thought I wanted. Good you figured it out, 0:22:04.480 --> 0:22:07.359 or you might go, Man, I'm more hooked than ever was. 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:10.840 And now you've got a connection. Yeah, you got an 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:13.560 entry point. You got something to aim for. It's not 0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:16.359 just this big broad stroke. How do I get into 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:20.800 this massive industry of ranching? Now you got a pinpoint target. 0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:23.440 I'm gonna shoot for that. I'm gonna be that guy. 0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:26.760 I'm gonna work for that guy. As soon as high 0:22:26.760 --> 0:22:28.919 school's done, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna go to 0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:30.840 this trade school. I'm gonna work right in this this 0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:33.080 place right here. I'm gonna take this trip and I'm 0:22:33.080 --> 0:22:35.240 gonna go and work in South Texas and I'm gonna 0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:38.639 go up and work in Nebraska. But at least you 0:22:38.680 --> 0:22:43.400 got to you got a starting place. That's what you do. 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:46.760 Here's the last thing I'll say about this. You said 0:22:46.800 --> 0:22:51.919 you've been asking God what to do. What do you mean, like, 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:59.159 God tell me what to do about ranching? Well, you 0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:04.960 emailed me. That's one thing. If we want to hear 0:23:05.000 --> 0:23:09.679 what God has to say, listen for anything for anybody. 0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:13.320 You want to hear what God has to say. You 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:16.800 open the Bible and you start reading it a good 0:23:16.840 --> 0:23:21.320 starting point like Matthew one or Genesis, maybe Paul's letters. 0:23:21.680 --> 0:23:26.160 Start in Romans, start in the Bible, and you start reading, 0:23:26.200 --> 0:23:29.240 and you say, God, feed me, let me learn your character, 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:32.439 let me see the miracles in this book. Let me 0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:37.560 see the providence that you are, you have poured on 0:23:37.600 --> 0:23:41.440 your people. Let me see you through these words. Then 0:23:41.480 --> 0:23:45.040 God's speaking. Then you say, God, you, for some reason, 0:23:45.080 --> 0:23:46.480 You've placed in my heart that I want to be 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:49.640 a rancher. I'm craving this idea to be a rancher. 0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:52.000 And I know that when I'm seeking the Lord, when 0:23:52.040 --> 0:23:54.960 I'm giving the Lord my whole heart, he gives me 0:23:55.080 --> 0:23:58.159 desires of the heart. So I feel like this desire 0:23:58.200 --> 0:24:01.719 to be a rancher comes from you. So now I'm 0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:03.879 gonna I'm gonna start on this path, I'm gonna go 0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:05.840 down this path. And as I'm going down the path 0:24:05.840 --> 0:24:08.919 of becoming a rancher, I'm gonna see where where are you? 0:24:09.000 --> 0:24:11.840 And this? God? What are you showing me in this 0:24:12.040 --> 0:24:14.800 Who am I gonna meet? Like? What could I do 0:24:14.880 --> 0:24:17.919 for the kingdom in this path? Not for me? Not 0:24:18.040 --> 0:24:20.080 because it's some dream I have for me that I 0:24:20.119 --> 0:24:22.120 want to accomplish, something for me so I can hang 0:24:22.160 --> 0:24:24.240 a trophy on the wall for me, so that I 0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:27.320 could ride a bull for eight seconds for me. For you, God, 0:24:28.400 --> 0:24:30.119 what are you trying to show me in this path? 0:24:30.800 --> 0:24:32.920 What do you need me to see? And would I 0:24:33.000 --> 0:24:35.400