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Speaker 1: Did you think your fiance was the source of your happiness,

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Speaker 1: Because she's not. She's absolutely not. No human is and

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Speaker 1: if as long as you think that, you will be

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Speaker 1: disappointed every time. Welcome to the podcast, everybody, Thank you

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Speaker 1: for watching, Thank you for listening. Wherever you're coming from,

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Speaker 1: love doing this. It's been a crazy time in my

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Speaker 1: life because you know, we just put out this movie

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Speaker 1: called moon Rise just a few days ago, last Thursday,

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Speaker 1: December fifteenth, on pure Flix. So if you haven't seen

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Speaker 1: it yet, go go streaming on pure Flix. And you

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Speaker 1: could see me representing a character. My character, maybe in

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Speaker 1: a lot of ways, is representing some of these questions

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Speaker 1: that I get. Maybe I could say that this podcast

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Speaker 1: your questions inspired a lot of Will Brown, the character

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Speaker 1: that I play in this movie. Perhaps maybe that's what

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Speaker 1: I do on this podcast. I answer your questions. I

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Speaker 1: always got time for you. No matter what we got

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Speaker 1: going on with music or touring or radio show after midnight,

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Speaker 1: or or movie or book. I got time for the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Got time to sit here and listen to your questions.

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Speaker 1: You email me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I

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Speaker 1: walk through them like we're two friends. Cab of a truck,

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Speaker 1: sitting around a campfire, or however you want to look

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Speaker 1: at it. And I don't have notes in front of me.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a bunch of famous quotes or statistics

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Speaker 1: set out in front of me. I'm just gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna read your question, and I'm gonna instantly answer it

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Speaker 1: without prepping, like we're just two friends, like I would

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Speaker 1: hope to give advice to a friend, and like I

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Speaker 1: would hope to get it back if I asked the question.

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Speaker 1: That's really all. It is so not always right, but

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping I could lead you in the best direction

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Speaker 1: that I know how. That's what this podcast is. Let's

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Speaker 1: dive into the first question subject line. Here he says

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Speaker 1: trying to become an Eagle Scout before eighteen. The question says, Hey,

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Speaker 1: mister Granger, I'm Jacob. I'm from Washington. I'm fifteen years old.

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Speaker 1: I've been in the Boy Scouts for five years now,

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Speaker 1: working through all the ranks and merit badges. I have

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Speaker 1: seven Eagle badges left and lots of paperwork left to

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Speaker 1: fill out. I need to hold a position for twelve

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Speaker 1: months on top of all that before I turn eighteen.

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Speaker 1: I find myself staying up late each night writing and

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Speaker 1: completing requirements. But it's getting stressful. It seems like I

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Speaker 1: have so much work left before I can complete it,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know if I'll have enough time. I

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Speaker 1: guess my question is how could I work through getting

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Speaker 1: it all done without stressing and worrying about what will happen? Thanks?

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Speaker 1: Looking forward to it. Always love listening to your podcast

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Speaker 1: while I'm working, Jacob Jacob, Thank you, buddy. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: you so much. Thank you for thank you for writing in,

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Speaker 1: and thank you for listening at fifteen while you're working.

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Speaker 1: I love that. I think that's so Cool's the thing,

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Speaker 1: this is crazy. You wrote this without even saying it.

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Speaker 1: You you You used the subject line almost as a

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Speaker 1: humble brag, right, like trying to become an Eagle Scout

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Speaker 1: before eighteen. Now, you wouldn't have said it that way

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Speaker 1: unless you knew. Humble brag is a big deal, dude,

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Speaker 1: And I'm happy for you, and I'm not disagreeing. I

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Speaker 1: think that's a really big deal. It's something I didn't do,

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Speaker 1: become an Eagle Scout before eighteen, Like that's that and

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Speaker 1: live a life. You do that because you want it

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Speaker 1: on your resume. You want you want to do things

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Speaker 1: in life that you could look back and go, man,

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Speaker 1: that was that was tough when I did it. But

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Speaker 1: here's the irony. The irony is by you trying to

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Speaker 1: do something hard, you're then literally complaining that it's hard.

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Speaker 1: Of course it is, you know it is. Becoming eagle

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Speaker 1: scout is not easy. If it was easy, everybody would

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Speaker 1: do it. If it was mildly attainable, anyone else would

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Speaker 1: do it because it's good for the resume. You can eat.

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Speaker 1: You an eagle scout. Yeah, everybody's an eagle scout. It's

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Speaker 1: so easy. No, it's difficult because it takes sacrifice, it

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Speaker 1: takes hard work, it takes dedication. So through this sacrifice

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Speaker 1: and hard work and dedication, you're seeing what the cost

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Speaker 1: of that really is. You won't even realize it till

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Speaker 1: years go by and you're you know, maybe fifteen years,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna look back and go, Wow, that was tough.

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Speaker 1: Like I laid it all out there. I remember back

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Speaker 1: when I was a teenager and I became an eagle scout.

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Speaker 1: I laid it all on the line, and that was

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Speaker 1: the hardest thing I've ever gone through. And I'm so

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Speaker 1: happy that I did. That's why, that's why you're doing it.

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Speaker 1: That's why we do hard things. So then we turn

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Speaker 1: around and we go, I did it. I persevered through it.

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Speaker 1: The sacrifice was difficult. Now it's not a surprise though,

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Speaker 1: that now you're in it, you're in the arena and

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Speaker 1: you're in the battle, and you're going, hey, this is hard. Good,

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Speaker 1: that's my thought. Bring on the heat, make it harder.

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Speaker 1: That would be my thought to you, Jacob. And you're like, what,

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Speaker 1: bring on the heat. That's what I will tell you.

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Speaker 1: Bring it on the harder, harder it is right now

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Speaker 1: for you to do. The harder it is, the more

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be able to kick back one day and go,

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Speaker 1: I did it, I completed it. The easier it is,

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Speaker 1: who cares, The less you're gonna talk about it, the

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Speaker 1: less it even matters in your life. Lean into the

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Speaker 1: hard things. You got this buddy, nice question. Subject line says,

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Speaker 1: long relationship with troubled times they grant you. My name

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Speaker 1: is Jaden. I'm twenty three. Already I'm like dude twenty

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Speaker 1: three in a long relationship. Okay, I'm ready. I'm twenty three.

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Speaker 1: I'm from Kentucky, but I live in Indiana. I met

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Speaker 1: my mouth Beyonce in twenty seventeen, but we've been together

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Speaker 1: since August of twenty seventeen. We now have a sun

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Speaker 1: born January thirteenth, twenty twenty one. We have grown a

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Speaker 1: lot since we met. We've had our fair shares of issues.

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Speaker 1: Our current issue is she isn't happy with my ability

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Speaker 1: to give her attention and sex. I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: grown out of our relationship. I find myself thinking more

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Speaker 1: and more that getting out of the relationship would be better.

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Speaker 1: I care for her, but I'm not sure what I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to do if I'm not happy. I'm afraid of

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Speaker 1: splitting up because but splitting up our family because we

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Speaker 1: have days here and there that are amazing. But I've

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Speaker 1: lost sexual attraction to her, and to her our sex

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Speaker 1: life gives her the attention and love that she lacks.

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Speaker 1: Thanks Granger, your podcast has given me hope that there

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Speaker 1: are answers. God bless lowercase G. You didn't write lowercase G.

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Speaker 1: I said that, but you wrote God in lowercase G.

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Speaker 1: I think it's important to call that out. Jaden Bro,

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you for Thank you for listening.

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Speaker 1: Twenty three. Thank you for tuning in and trusting this podcast.

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Speaker 1: That means a lot. Let me dive in here. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is the first thing that sticks out. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that stick out in this question. The

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Speaker 1: first thing that sticks out is this sentence right here.

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Speaker 1: I care for her, but I'm not sure what I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to do if I'm not happy. Oh did you

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Speaker 1: think that she was the source of your happiness? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Did you think your fiance was the source of your happiness?

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Speaker 1: Because she's not. She's absolutely not. No human is. And

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Speaker 1: if as long as you think that, you will be

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Speaker 1: disappointed every time because it's a human and humans will

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Speaker 1: let you down. There not the source of your happiness.

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Speaker 1: Are your joy? Are your hope? Are your peace? Or

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Speaker 1: your love? That comes from your creator? Your identity comes

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Speaker 1: from the one that made you. Everything else, like a

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Speaker 1: fiance is a gift to enjoy from the creator. But

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Speaker 1: it's not the source of it. It's not the source

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Speaker 1: of happiness. You mean to prove it to you, I

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Speaker 1: could prove it in another thing that you said. You said,

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Speaker 1: I have lost sexual attraction to her. Oh man, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry. You're twenty three, you're twenty three, you've lost

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Speaker 1: sexual attraction to her. First of all, you know on

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Speaker 1: this podcast I'm going to say that we don't have

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Speaker 1: sex before marriage. Why, Oh, there's problems kind of like

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Speaker 1: what's happening with going on here? The waters are getting muddy,

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Speaker 1: there's a child involved. Now you're not married yet, and

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Speaker 1: now you're doubting whether you're not you should even be

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Speaker 1: in it. Now, this, this is setting a path. This

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Speaker 1: is setting a path that's hard to recreate, correct for

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Speaker 1: the child. Right. Okay, Now I've said on this podcast

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Speaker 1: before it's ruining the child's life. I don't I don't

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Speaker 1: mean it that way. I don't mean to say it

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Speaker 1: that way, but I do say that it makes it difficult,

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Speaker 1: It makes it more a path that's more difficult to straighten. Okay. Now,

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Speaker 1: with a difficult path sometimes that makes us better. But

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Speaker 1: we don't want to intentionally make a difficult path for

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Speaker 1: our kids so that they can then recorrect and make

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Speaker 1: them better. That doesn't make any sense. We want to

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Speaker 1: we want to set them off on a course that's

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Speaker 1: that's favorable to them, and divorce or separation from biological

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Speaker 1: mama is not favorable. Okay, So we got that now,

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Speaker 1: back to my point. I'm to prove to you that

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Speaker 1: your happiness does not draw from this woman. You said,

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Speaker 1: our sex life. I've lost sexual attraction to her, that's

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Speaker 1: what you said. Bro. Oh here's another question I have.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that sexual attraction is the reason you

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Speaker 1: love someone? Do you think that sexual attraction is the

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Speaker 1: reason you stay with someone? Let me bring up a point.

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Speaker 1: Remember Pamela and Anderson. Everyone remember Pamela Anderson right Baywatch?

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Speaker 1: She was like the babe of America. Hey, she was

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Speaker 1: like the babe of the world for a long time

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Speaker 1: in the nineties or whatever. Remember the movie Borat was

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Speaker 1: all about that. It was all about the babe Pamela Anderson. Now,

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Speaker 1: in all due respect to miss Anderson, has anyone googled

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Speaker 1: her lately? Has anyone done a Google image search of

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Speaker 1: Pamela Anderson? Like I said, all absolute due respect, I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to prove a point. Not a babe anymore.

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Speaker 1: She's not a babe on Baywatch that anyone would want

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Speaker 1: to watch. Just saying like, I hesitate saying that because

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Speaker 1: I want to be very respectful, But babes are gonna

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Speaker 1: lose their babe isms, right, Like we all get older,

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Speaker 1: the guys and the girls. We get older, we get wrinkly,

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Speaker 1: we gain weight around the waist. That's what happens to

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Speaker 1: all of us. So what do you do then, Buddy's

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Speaker 1: that's my question to you, Jaden. What do you do

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Speaker 1: then when the love of your life is sixty five,

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Speaker 1: seventy eighty, ninety years old and all of that physical

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Speaker 1: attraction that you had when you're twenty three is completely gone? Oh,

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Speaker 1: because it needs more than physical attraction, because you dig

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Speaker 1: deeper than that, you look deeper than that. Because if

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Speaker 1: that's what you're going by, if you're going by physical

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Speaker 1: sexual attraction, if that's that's what you're going by, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna fade at some point. It's gone, Like maybe not now,

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Speaker 1: but maybe ten years, maybe twenty years, maybe thirty. At

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Speaker 1: some point she's not the young twenty year old girl

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Speaker 1: that you were attracted to at the very beginning, So

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Speaker 1: it takes more. So these are two major points. One,

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Speaker 1: you don't get your tax you don't get your happiness

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Speaker 1: from her. She's not the source of it. And two,

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Speaker 1: you don't base your relationship on whether or not you're

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Speaker 1: sexually attracted anymore. That's not a factor. And then she's

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Speaker 1: got the same problem because then you say to her,

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Speaker 1: our sex life gives her the affection and love she lacks.

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Speaker 1: What she lacking? What do you mean she the love

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Speaker 1: she lacks? I know what you mean, because that's our

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Speaker 1: society today. We're lacking. We're lacking. We need we're half.

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Speaker 1: We're I'll get a half a heart, then I need

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Speaker 1: someone to come in and give me the rest of

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Speaker 1: my heart. It's just lacking. My love is lacking. It's

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Speaker 1: like my heart is just in fragments. So I'm looking

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Speaker 1: for a soulmate to reconnect and make me whole. Like

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Speaker 1: that's the that's the idea, right, And then you realize

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Speaker 1: after a few years, Eah, it was better with half

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Speaker 1: a heart than to sit here in this miserable marriage,

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Speaker 1: to sit here unattracted to this woman that I have

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Speaker 1: three kids with and I don't really care. All she

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Speaker 1: does is complain, And that's the American idea. And so

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Speaker 1: then then you think, well, there must be somebody else,

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Speaker 1: somebody else. I was wrong, That's what it is. I

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Speaker 1: was wrong about my half a heart that this person

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Speaker 1: was gonna fill. There's somebody else out there that I

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Speaker 1: just messed up. The first time. But the second go around,

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Speaker 1: I'll find the one that's really gonna fill it, and

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Speaker 1: that person surely is the source of my happiness. I

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Speaker 1: just I messed up. I made a mistake. But the

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Speaker 1: next person, they they're the right one, Okay. And then

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Speaker 1: you realize, I think I did it again. I think

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Speaker 1: I messed up again. So I'm kind of thinking about

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Speaker 1: getting out of this one and trying a third time,

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Speaker 1: because third time's a charm, right, that's the trap we

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Speaker 1: get into. Here's what you do, Jaden. You make a

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Speaker 1: commitment to this girl. You say, look, I chose you,

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Speaker 1: you chose me. We made a child together. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: get married, and we're gonna stay committed because that's the

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Speaker 1: right thing to do, Jayden, that's the right thing to

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Speaker 1: do with integrity. You stay with this girl. You realize

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Speaker 1: that so many people, over so many years of history

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Speaker 1: before us, were in arranged marriages. You know that it's

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Speaker 1: like a strange idea in twenty twenty two and Western

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Speaker 1: culture that we get to choose each other and we

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Speaker 1: date and court each other. That's a strange idea. In

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Speaker 1: the course of history, most people were arranged. You met

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Speaker 1: your wife on your wedding day, anyone's crazy. They usually

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Speaker 1: stayed together. Why because it was deeper than physical attraction,

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Speaker 1: Because it was deeper than looking for a source of

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Speaker 1: their own happiness in another person. It was more, it

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Speaker 1: was way deeper. It was a commitment to that person.

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Speaker 1: I will I choose you, I will stay with you.

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Speaker 1: I will be committed to you through sickness and health,

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Speaker 1: rich or poor. That's what we do. Those words used

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Speaker 1: to mean something in the Puritan days. They are gone.

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Speaker 1: Now commitment is gone. We just are so fleeting. We

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Speaker 1: flip a marriage like we do a TikTok. It's wrong.

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Speaker 1: Where's the commitment, Jaden, You're not going to find it

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Speaker 1: somewhere else? Take it from me. You might not want

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Speaker 1: to listen, you might not want to hear it, but

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Speaker 1: you will not find it somewhere else. You're going to

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Speaker 1: be back at square one. You might see a nice,

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Speaker 1: shiny object out there, but that's not where your answer is.

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Speaker 1: Your answer is in the Word of God. It's in

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Speaker 1: the Bible. That's where you'll see it. That's where you'll

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Speaker 1: find it. Next question, before I go off on a

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Speaker 1: tangent subdecline. By the way, Jacob, I love you Bro,

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Speaker 1: I didn't say that. I tend to say that every question.

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Speaker 1: I genuinely love you, Bro, Jaden. I have a tendency

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Speaker 1: on this podcast to kind of go off and to

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Speaker 1: sound harsh. Right, That's not what I mean. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: do that because I'm so passionate about this podcast and

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Speaker 1: I'm so passionate about my listeners and the people that listen.

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Speaker 1: If look at it this way, if I didn't care,

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Speaker 1: if I hated you, Bro, if I just didn't care,

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Speaker 1: I'd just move on, or I'd give you an easy answer,

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Speaker 1: I'd make it as quick as possible. But because I

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Speaker 1: do care, I just want you to know my heart. Man.

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Speaker 1: I want you to know my heart, and I want

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Speaker 1: you to truly walk through this life and go twenty

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Speaker 1: years down the road and go man. Granger was right.

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Speaker 1: I am. I am content now because I didn't seek

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Speaker 1: some fleeting happiness that I could never catch. And it's

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Speaker 1: not that I'm right, I'm just falling back on the Bible.

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Speaker 1: Nice question off the SOAPBA subject line future career. Hey Grangel,

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Speaker 1: my name is Caleb. I'm sixteen in the southwest part

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Speaker 1: of Washington. I'm a sophomore in high school and I'm

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Speaker 1: struggling to figure out what I'm going to do in

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Speaker 1: the future. I want to be a rancher and learn

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Speaker 1: bull riding, but I'm certainly I'm currently not in a

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Speaker 1: place where it's easy to learn how to ranch. I've

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Speaker 1: been asking God what to do? What should I do?

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Speaker 1: How do I get started in ranching and rodeo? Sorry

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Speaker 1: for asking a question like this when others have more

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Speaker 1: important things to worry about. Hope you have a great day,

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Speaker 1: God bless Caleb. Let me correct that. Why'd you say

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Speaker 1: that last thing to me? Don't say that, bro, I

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Speaker 1: mean everybody has questions that are heavy on their heart

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Speaker 1: and it's relative to their life, like this question right now, Caleb,

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Speaker 1: for you at sixteen in the southwest part of Washington,

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Speaker 1: sophomore in high school, struggling to figure out what you

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Speaker 1: want to do in life, Like that's top of mind,

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Speaker 1: that is event and very real to you, just like

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Speaker 1: Jaden had a very real issue going on at twenty three. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so don't take away from your own question by saying

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Speaker 1: there's other people with more important things to worry about.

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Speaker 1: We're focusing on you right now, brother, This is you,

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Speaker 1: this is your time. Me and you cab by the truck.

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Speaker 1: Here we go. First thing I'm going to say is

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Speaker 1: if you want to be a rancher and a bull

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Speaker 1: rider full time, the first thing I would do is

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Speaker 1: find somebody that does that full time. And I know

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Speaker 1: there's some of them in Southwest Washington. I know for

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Speaker 1: a fact I've seen them. You seek out a rancher

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Speaker 1: and you go, hey, my name is Caleb. I'm sixteen

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Speaker 1: years old. I'm a sophomore in high school, and I

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Speaker 1: really want to ranch. I really want a bull ride.

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Speaker 1: That's exciting to me. It's interesting to me, and I've

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Speaker 1: never been around people that do it. And I was

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Speaker 1: wondering if I could shadow you around next summer. I'm

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Speaker 1: willing to come there and work for you, and I

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Speaker 1: work for cheap, but I just want to shadow you,

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Speaker 1: and I want to learn from you, and I want

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Speaker 1: to hear from you, and I want to see what

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Speaker 1: you do, and I'll see when you wake up and

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Speaker 1: when you go to bed, and what you eat and

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Speaker 1: everything you do in between. Can I do that? And

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Speaker 1: hopefully he says yeah, And if he says no, then

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Speaker 1: you go to another guy and you ask the same thing.

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Speaker 1: But that's what I recommend with any career, like whatever

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Speaker 1: it is you're thinking. You want to be a police officer,

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Speaker 1: you want to be a country music singer, you want

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Speaker 1: to be a bull riding rancher. You find someone, you

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Speaker 1: just shadow them and you work for cheap. You make

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Speaker 1: them coffee in the morning, you take out the trash

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Speaker 1: at night. You feel up his truck, You run errands

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Speaker 1: for him. You go to get his Jane starts for him, right,

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Speaker 1: You get his hat, his hat reshaped for him. You

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Speaker 1: do what ever he needs done, things that he goes. Man,

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Speaker 1: This Caleb kid is awesome, right. I took him on

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Speaker 1: as a favor, But now I'm starting to think that

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Speaker 1: that the favor is all mine because he's the one

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Speaker 1: doing all this stuff for me. He makes my coffee

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Speaker 1: in the morning, he wakes up before I do, and

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Speaker 1: coffee's ready and hot, and he warms up my truck

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Speaker 1: for me. I go out there in the cool of

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Speaker 1: the summer and my truck is warm. You know, be

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Speaker 1: that guy, Be that guy that's just no one can

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Speaker 1: get rid of because you're too valuable. And in the meantime,

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Speaker 1: you're learning about ranching, you're learning about bull riding, you're

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Speaker 1: asking hard questions. Hey, mister rancher, could ask you another question.

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Speaker 1: How did you get enough money to start this? How

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Speaker 1: did you get into that? Where did you get into this?

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Speaker 1: How did you learn about this? And what you might

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Speaker 1: learn is you don't want to do it anymore. You

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Speaker 1: might walk away at the end of that summer and go, man,

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Speaker 1: that was just not what I thought. That's not the

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Speaker 1: career I thought I wanted. Good you figured it out,

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Speaker 1: or you might go, Man, I'm more hooked than ever was.

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Speaker 1: And now you've got a connection. Yeah, you got an

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Speaker 1: entry point. You got something to aim for. It's not

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Speaker 1: just this big broad stroke. How do I get into

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Speaker 1: this massive industry of ranching? Now you got a pinpoint target.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna shoot for that. I'm gonna be that guy.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna work for that guy. As soon as high

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Speaker 1: school's done, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna go to

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Speaker 1: this trade school. I'm gonna work right in this this

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Speaker 1: place right here. I'm gonna take this trip and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go and work in South Texas and I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go up and work in Nebraska. But at least you

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Speaker 1: got to you got a starting place. That's what you do.

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Speaker 1: Here's the last thing I'll say about this. You said

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Speaker 1: you've been asking God what to do. What do you mean, like,

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Speaker 1: God tell me what to do about ranching? Well, you

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Speaker 1: emailed me. That's one thing. If we want to hear

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Speaker 1: what God has to say, listen for anything for anybody.

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Speaker 1: You want to hear what God has to say. You

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Speaker 1: open the Bible and you start reading it a good

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Speaker 1: starting point like Matthew one or Genesis, maybe Paul's letters.

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Speaker 1: Start in Romans, start in the Bible, and you start reading,

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Speaker 1: and you say, God, feed me, let me learn your character,

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Speaker 1: let me see the miracles in this book. Let me

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Speaker 1: see the providence that you are, you have poured on

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Speaker 1: your people. Let me see you through these words. Then

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Speaker 1: God's speaking. Then you say, God, you, for some reason,

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Speaker 1: You've placed in my heart that I want to be

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Speaker 1: a rancher. I'm craving this idea to be a rancher.

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Speaker 1: And I know that when I'm seeking the Lord, when

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Speaker 1: I'm giving the Lord my whole heart, he gives me

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Speaker 1: desires of the heart. So I feel like this desire

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Speaker 1: to be a rancher comes from you. So now I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna start on this path, I'm gonna go

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Speaker 1: down this path. And as I'm going down the path

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Speaker 1: of becoming a rancher, I'm gonna see where where are you?

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Speaker 1: And this? God? What are you showing me in this

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Speaker 1: Who am I gonna meet? Like? What could I do

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Speaker 1: for the kingdom in this path? Not for me? Not

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Speaker 1: because it's some dream I have for me that I

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Speaker 1: want to accomplish, something for me so I can hang

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Speaker 1: a trophy on the wall for me, so that I

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Speaker 1: could ride a bull for eight seconds for me. For you, God,

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Speaker 1: what are you trying to show me in this path?

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Speaker 1: What do you need me to see? And would I

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Speaker 1: be willing to give it all up at the drop

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Speaker 1: of a cowboy hat for you? That's the question you ask.

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Speaker 1: We'll take a break and be right back, y'all. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for tuning into the podcast. As you

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Speaker 1: might know, my brand new movie Moonrise is out now

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Speaker 1: streaming on pure Flicks, download the pure Flicks app, this

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Speaker 1: Sony picture streaming service. It's family friendly, So every single

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00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,479
Speaker 1: thing they have on this streaming service is family friendly.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna be surprised by any themes that you

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Speaker 1: might not approve of for your children. So you could

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Speaker 1: watch it together without even preparing, without taking notes on

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Speaker 1: what it's going to be like, or researching it. You

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Speaker 1: could just sit back, turn on Pureflix, hit the next film,

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Speaker 1: and press play Moonrise. My movie is on there. It

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Speaker 1: just came out last Thursday. So super excited about my

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Speaker 1: very first film to be on here, and I would

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Speaker 1: love to get your feedback on what you think about Moonrise.

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Speaker 1: Also the album I have the soundtrack for that movie

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Speaker 1: of the same title that's streaming everywhere. You can hear

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Speaker 1: the music wherever you love to hear music. Also, this

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Speaker 1: time of year, a really cool gift you can get

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Speaker 1: for someone in your family is cameo. That's a cameo

423
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 1: for me. I could say whatever you need me to say,

424
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas, words of encouragement, maybe Happy Birthday, whatever it

425
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: might be. It's actually a pretty cool gift and super

426
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: easy for you. You go to cameo dot com slash

427
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 1: Granger Smith, you find me, or you could download the

428
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: cameo app and search for me Granger Smith, and then

429
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 1: you just type exactly what you want me to say.

430
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: I pull out my phone, I turn on the camera,

431
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,439
Speaker 1: I flip it around, I do a selfie video saying

432
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: what you need me to say to who you need

433
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 1: me to say it too, super simple cameo dot com

434
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: slash Granger Smith Back to the podcast. Welcome back to

435
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: the podcast. Diving right back into these questions. You email

436
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 1: me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and I'll throw

437
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: it in the cue. Subject line on this next one

438
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 1: says business with my Dad. Hey Granger, my name is James.

439
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old. I'm a mechanic from a small

440
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: town in Michigan. I've been a fan for a while.

441
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 1: I love this podcast. Thank you brother. My dad is

442
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: opening a shop and wants me to be a mechanic

443
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 1: there and end up taking over. I think it would

444
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: be cool, but I also don't know if I could

445
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: handle working with him because he's constantly criticizing my work,

446
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 1: saying that I don't know anything about cars or my

447
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 1: certifications don't seem to mean anything. I love my dad

448
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 1: and I would feel terrible telling him no, but dealing

449
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: with him constantly criticizing me is seriously irritating me. We

450
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: are both very independent people and hard headed, so fights will,

451
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: no doubt occur. I'm stressed about my future because I

452
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: want to own my own shop, but I don't really

453
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 1: know how to do it without with my father. Should

454
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: I suck it up and work with him or do

455
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: my own thing? Thanks for your time, God bless James James.

456
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: Thanks for the email, buddy and the kind words. Man, Man,

457
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: what a cool situation you're in. I know that's not

458
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 1: what you expected me to say. But you want to

459
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: be a mechanic. You're evidently really good at it. You

460
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: want to own your own shop one day, and you

461
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 1: have a clear path to doing that through your dad.

462
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 1: In fact, your dad you to be a mechanic there

463
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: and wants you to take over his shop. Everything's right,

464
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: This is a perfect fairy tale scenario. You're a good mechanic,

465
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,719
Speaker 1: your dream is to own a shop one day. Your

466
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: dad wants you to work at his shop and take

467
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: over his shop one day. Perfect right. Not quite? Then

468
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,479
Speaker 1: the bad news comes in. You don't totally get along

469
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: with your dad. So that's where the question comes in,

470
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 1: and I think it's a legitimate question. I'm going to

471
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 1: ask you a few things hypothetically. Here your dad irritating you,

472
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: and he's hard headed, so are you. Fights will no

473
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: doubt occur? According to you, What is your role in that, right,

474
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: How do you respond to that, because that's what you

475
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 1: can control. You can't control him, You can't this whole

476
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 1: mess about you don't know anything about cars. Let me

477
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: stop right there. Let me repeat the scenario back to you,

478
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: and you tell me if this makes any sense at all.

479
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 1: Your dad wants you to take over his Pride and

480
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 1: Joy shop, and he says you don't know anything about cars. Well,

481
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: that's something something that's not adding up there. I'll tell you.

482
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: What's not adding up is him telling you that. Of course,

483
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: of course he knows you know about cars, because otherwise

484
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: he wouldn't have you take over his shop. You think

485
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 1: he would have an idiot take over his shop that

486
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: doesn't know anything about cars. His legacy, his pride and Joy,

487
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: his business that he's worked and built for so long.

488
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 1: You think he wants an idiot that knows nothing about

489
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: cars to take over the business, even if it's his

490
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: own son. He would lie to you. He would say, buddy,

491
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find somebody else to take over the shop,

492
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: because you got better things to do. You you you got

493
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 1: a lot of other things going on in life, and

494
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna find my other buddy, here to take

495
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: over the shop. But don't worry. It's nothing about you.

496
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: You just that's what he would do, right. He wouldn't,

497
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: He wouldn't lie to you. He wants you to take

498
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: over the shop because he knows you are really good

499
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 1: with cars. So that means that this whole deal that

500
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 1: him saying you know nothing about cars, that's some kind

501
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: of way that he's encouraging you. That's his personality, that's

502
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: the way. That's his love language. That's the way your

503
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: dad tells you, come on, buddy, you got this now.

504
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: You wish that he could say it that way, But

505
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: what he's what he's trying to say is you are

506
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 1: better than what you're doing right now. You're better than this,

507
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: and you're twenty. So it's a legitimate argument. If my

508
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 1: dad told me that at twenty, I would believe him

509
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 1: now because I wasn't. I wasn't operating in full capacity

510
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 1: when I was twenty. So remember when your dad is

511
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:10,479
Speaker 1: saying these certificates mean nothing, what he means is, listen,

512
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,959
Speaker 1: I know you've gotten out. You've gotten these mechanic certifications.

513
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: That's great, But what you need to do is get

514
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 1: street smart with me. You need to learn the ways

515
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: of the shop through me, through trial and error, through mistakes,

516
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: through hardships. I want you to learn from me. It's

517
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 1: great you have certificates, but those mean nothing but pieces

518
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: of paper. They're good for knowledge, but until you could

519
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 1: use that knowledge in a real way, they mean nothing.

520
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: That's what he means when he says you know nothing

521
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:51,479
Speaker 1: about cars, what he means is, Son, you haven't been

522
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: tested yet. You might be smart, you might have certificates,

523
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 1: but you need to be tested, and to be tested

524
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: work with me. I know you could do this. In fact,

525
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 1: you're smarter than I was at your age, and you're

526
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: gonna do so great. That's why I'm handing you the

527
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 1: keys to the shop. But if you want to do

528
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: this the right way, if you want to learn, if

529
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: you want to be successful in this business, follow me.

530
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: I'll show you through all the mistakes I've made, how

531
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: to do this the right way. I know, James. That's

532
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 1: what he's trying to tell you. Man. And instead of

533
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: you being hard headed and going listen, Dad, I do

534
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: know a lot about cars. These You know how long

535
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: I worked on these certifications. Dad. I'm gonna start my

536
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 1: own shop one day. Instead of being that guy. Just

537
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: say yes, sir, following you, Dad, I'm here for you, Dad.

538
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: Sorry I messed that up. I'll get better next time.

539
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: I want to get better, Dad, I want to get

540
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: better for you. I want to get better for this shop.

541
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 1: I want to I want this shop to be great

542
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: one day, and I'm gonna learn it from you. What if, James,

543
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: what if you said that? What if he said that?

544
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: What a what a crazy thought? Right? Instead you resist

545
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 1: and you go no, Dad, I'm revolting. I'm hardheaded like you.

546
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 1: We're gonna fight. You can't control how he says it,

547
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: you can't control the way he encourages you. But you

548
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: can control how you react. And I would suggest you

549
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: react with yes, sir, Yes, sir Dad, because guess what, James,

550
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: I could tell you firsthand. Yours are gonna go by,

551
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: and one day you're gonna lose your dad. Take it

552
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: from me. You're gonna lose your dad, and you're gonna

553
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: wish you had five more minutes with him, cup of coffee,

554
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: car comes in, working on a problem, figuring out some issues,

555
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: just you and him in the garage. You're gonna long

556
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: for those days. He's gonna be gone and you're gonna

557
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: you're gonna go into that that shop, and you're gonna

558
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:00,120
Speaker 1: go on that wall and you're gonna find it an

559
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 1: old wrench that was stuffed in the back behind all

560
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: the other tools, and you're gonna you're gonna pull it

561
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: out and you're gonna go wow. I haven't seen this

562
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: wrench in seven years. The last person that picked it

563
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 1: up was Dad, and he dropped it back behind this table.

564
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: And you're gonna have flashbacks. You can go. I remember

565
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 1: when Dad used this wrench. I remember when Dad criticized

566
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: me for my stupid certificates. I remember when Dad told

567
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: me that I knew nothing about cars, and I know

568
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: now that he was he was just trying to encourage me.

569
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,879
Speaker 1: He didn't really mean that. And I really miss him.

570
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 1: I missed that old, hard headed guy. I miss his voice,

571
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: I miss his laugh, I miss hanging with him. In fact,

572
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: I actually miss his criticism. James, that's what you're gonna

573
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: say one day. It's hard. It's hard for me to

574
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: get that into your head because it seems so far off.

575
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,720
Speaker 1: Maybe it's twenty years for you, maybe it's thirty years,

576
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: maybe it's ten years, Maybe it's tomorrow. We just don't know.

577
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: But it's the reality. There was no other path. To

578
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: answer your question, short, there is no other path. No,

579
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 1: you're not gonna go off and make your own shop

580
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: one day. You're gonna take this path. You're gonna take

581
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: the path of your old man. As stubborn as he is.

582
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: He loves you. He loves you, otherwise he never would

583
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 1: have asked you to take over this shop. Your response

584
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 1: is yes, sir, let's sad. Another question here. The question says,

585
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,919
Speaker 1: to start with, I have anxiety, but it's a part

586
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: of me. I've lived with it for a long time,

587
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: and I've learned how to live with it because God

588
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: created me this way. But I met this amazing woman.

589
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: I hear you say all the time that people ask

590
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 1: you if they how they know if they're the right

591
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: one for them. Well, I just knew the second I

592
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: met her, and she feels the exact same as me.

593
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: The kind of love we have in our connection is

594
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 1: nothing less than God's blessing. These are all lowercase gee God's.

595
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: We both had some hard times in our past and

596
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: we deserve this kind of love. I'm going to marry

597
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: this woman. I already have it planned. But I look

598
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,879
Speaker 1: at myself as not deserving enough of her, because she's

599
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 1: perfect in my eyes. But my anxiety fights a lot

600
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: and makes me think I'm not doing good or enough

601
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: or whatnot. And then she instantly reassures me and refuses

602
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: to let me feel that way. I'm so thankful for her,

603
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: But do you have any tips for me to be

604
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 1: able to work through it myself? Also, maybe some tips

605
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: to ground myself. Thank you so much. Keep on doing

606
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: what you're doing. God's work lowercase G God bless This

607
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: question is is it another? Didn't say? I'm going to

608
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 1: leave it anonymous. Okay, so you're having anxiety. I'm catching

609
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: up here. I've read these for the first time writing

610
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: on the podcast. You're having anxiety. You love this girl,

611
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 1: you're going to marry this girl. You have a great connection,

612
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: but you feel undeserving of this kind of love. Yeah,

613
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: that's what you're saying. Your anxiety fights you. It makes

614
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 1: you feel like you're not doing enough, you're not enough

615
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: and what not. She constantly reassures you and refute you

616
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:34,879
Speaker 1: and says, no, okay, cool. Well, I'm going to kind

617
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: of relate back to one of the first questions that

618
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 1: we did on this episode. And say, did you think

619
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,399
Speaker 1: that you're trying to get your identity from her? Did

620
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: you think that she is the source of your happiness?

621
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: Did you think that she is completing you in a way.

622
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: Did you think if you lose her, you will lose

623
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: half of yourself and die. Let me put it this way, Anonymous,

624
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 1: say you get married. I'm gonna build this hypothetical situation

625
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 1: for you. Say you get married and she's the love

626
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 1: of your life. Like you said, you just had this connection.

627
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 1: She is God's blessing lowercase G. According to you, nothing

628
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: less than God's blessing. You deserve this because you've been

629
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 1: through hard times. But seven years down the road, you

630
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: get a call from the doctor. She just got back.

631
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 1: It's cancer. She's got breast cancer. It's really bad. It's

632
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:44,879
Speaker 1: taken her quickly. She lived six months, she's gone. All

633
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: your identity was in this woman. She was God's blessing

634
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: to you. She was a gift that became your whole identity,

635
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 1: that became the source of your happiness, the source of

636
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 1: your joy, the source of your hope. What do you do?

637
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 1: You said, give you some tips to be grounded. I'm

638
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: gonna give you the scenario to ground yourself. What do

639
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 1: you do if that's the situation, I could tell you

640
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 1: what you would do in that hypothetical situation. You would

641
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 1: be lost, you would lose your mind, you'd go crazy.

642
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 1: You would grieve uncontrollably. You would mourn and mourn until

643
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 1: it became destructive and turned into depression, which is self deprecating.

644
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 1: It started destroying you, eating you from the inside out,

645
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: because the love of your life, your identity, the source

646
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,839
Speaker 1: of your joy, the source of your happiness, is now

647
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 1: dead and you have no more of it. You were

648
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 1: completed by her. She completed your soul, and now she died,

649
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 1: and so half of your soul died and there's no recovery.

650
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: You were gone. There is no more hope. If we

651
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 1: were in the cab of the truck driving down a road,

652
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 1: I would say this scenario, and then you would have

653
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:07,240
Speaker 1: to answer to that, because that's kind of a feeling

654
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 1: I get from this question from you or you You're

655
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 1: just you're hanging onto a thread. You're you're hanging on

656
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,839
Speaker 1: to this because because you don't want to mess it up,

657
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: you got it just so tight and you're squeezing so tight, right,

658
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 1: and you're just hanging on to this for dear life.

659
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: You don't want to lose it, and I don't graineer.

660
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. We got to. I

661
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: don't feel like I deserve it. I'm not doing it.

662
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 1: I've always feel like I'm not doing enough, or I'm

663
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,240
Speaker 1: not I'm not being enough. I'm not I'm not enough.

664
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 1: And even though she reassures me and tells me that

665
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 1: that that I am enough, I'm just hanging on. I'm

666
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 1: holding on to so tight and you're squeezing the life

667
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: out of it with that closed fist. You're destroying it.

668
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: Open your fist. If you truly believe this is a

669
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 1: gift from God, upper case g. If you truly believe

670
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: she is a blessing and a gift from God, then

671
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,280
Speaker 1: you open your palm and you hold it with an

672
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 1: open hand, and you say, God, you give you take away.

673
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: I love this woman, I love the gift that she

674
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 1: is to me, but I'll know that I'll always worship

675
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: the giver of the gift more than the gift itself.

676
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 1: Open hand, open palm, don't suffocate this. You're talking like

677
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 1: a desperate man that's trying to do everything he can

678
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: to justify how he possibly deserves this good woman, and

679
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 1: she's just playing ketchup, trying to reassure you over and over,

680
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 1: and then eventually she's gonna be annoyed by this. It's

681
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: nice right now. What's it gonna look like in ten years.

682
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 1: I don't deserve you. Eventually it's going to creep into

683
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: her head and she's going to go, maybe I don't.

684
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 1: You've been saying it for ten years. Your anxiety is

685
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: driving me crazy. Maybe everybody's got a breaking point on

686
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 1: their patients. My advice is, don't squeeze her, don't suffocate her.

687
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: Ground yourself by knowing that your happiness doesn't come from her.

688
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 1: It's an overflow from the love that you have with her,

689
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 1: but it's not her. Your identity does not come from her.

690
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: Think about that, Think about that long and hard. That's

691
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: a big deal, because if you don't, you're in trouble

692
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 1: in any of the scenarios I laid out for you.

693
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,959
Speaker 1: Let's hit another one here. Subject line on this one says,

694
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 1: advise please. Hey, Grangeard like to stay anonymous, but I've

695
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 1: been going out with and she says, with her two

696
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: jobs and moving, she's not sure if she could make

697
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: things work right now, and she wants to keep talking

698
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 1: and going out, but she doesn't want to waste my

699
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 1: time if she can't see me super often, your help

700
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,720
Speaker 1: would be a life saver. Okay, this is super simple,

701
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 1: and you guys have heard similar questions like this, So

702
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be hey, Anonymous, this is this is totally

703
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: out of love. But let me repeat what you said

704
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: back to you so you could see it. I'm gonna

705
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 1: turn them take this mirror, and I'm gonna flip it

706
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 1: around on you so you could see yourself in the mirror.

707
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: She says, she's just gonna take on two jobs and

708
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 1: she's not sure she could make things work with you

709
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 1: right now, but she wants to keep talking and going out.

710
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 1: She just doesn't want to waste your time if she

711
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: can't see you super often. As you're looking at the

712
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 1: mirror that I flipped around and want you to see

713
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: how ridiculous that sounds. She wants to keep going out

714
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: and talking to you, but she doesn't want to waste

715
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: your time because she's got two jobs. What she's saying is,

716
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: I don't care about you enough for you to take

717
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: time into my jobs. My jobs are more important than

718
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: you me, making money in this career is way more

719
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: important than actually dating you, which means this dating thing

720
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,760
Speaker 1: is not going anywhere. You're not a future husband of mine,

721
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 1: is what she's saying. Okay, so dude, the whole I

722
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: want to keep talking and keep going out can't happen.

723
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: So you just go back and you just say, hey,

724
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 1: I know you're being nice and I appreciate the tender

725
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 1: heart that you have for me. You don't want to

726
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 1: hurt my feelings, but I could take it. I'm a man,

727
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 1: I could take it. Just let me, let me have it.

728
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 1: I know you don't like me. She's like, no, I

729
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: do like you, and you're like, I understand. I know

730
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 1: a breakup when I hear it. I heard it on

731
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 1: the Grangersmith podcast. Just kidding, don't say that. But the

732
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: answer is I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Thank you for

733
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: being kind, but I don't think I could hang out

734
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: or talk on the phone at all. That's it. It's

735
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: not a knock on you. I just I can't handle that.

736
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,439
Speaker 1: My heart can't handle balancing all that, so I'm gonna

737
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 1: have to politely bow out of everything. Goodbye, thank you.

738
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 1: This is a breakup. This is a hard, breakup the end.

739
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 1: Next question subdecline says question for you to talk about

740
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 1: on your podcast. Good subdecline, Hey Granger, I have a

741
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: question that would be great for you to answer on

742
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 1: one of your podcasts. My question is, is dating to

743
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: Mary still a thing? To people still date to Mary?

744
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: I hear so many people that say young love isn't real,

745
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 1: or you'll never marry her because she's your first girlfriend.

746
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: I was just wondering if you could talk about this

747
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 1: topic on your podcast. Thank you. Okay, So I have

748
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: a feeling you're super young, and that's why you're I

749
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: have a feeling you're dating early on in your life,

750
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: and so that's why people are saying you'll never marry

751
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 1: because she's your first girlfriend. So this must be your

752
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 1: first girlfriend. Got it? Let me answer bluntly. Is dating

753
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 1: to Mary still a thing? Hmm? It never was not

754
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: a thing. It never will not be a thing, no

755
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 1: matter what culture says, no matter what tendency people want

756
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:47,720
Speaker 1: to go on, no matter what social media trend is happening,

757
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 1: no matter what happens in life, our society, our civilization,

758
00:46:54,440 --> 00:47:01,759
Speaker 1: Marriage and dating for marriage is the only thing. There

759
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 1: is no other way than marriage, Like there is no

760
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:12,280
Speaker 1: other purpose for dating than marriage. Dating isn't a thing

761
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 1: without marriage, period. There's no sports dating, sport dating. There

762
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:22,439
Speaker 1: is no casual dating. There was no whatever else name

763
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: you want to give to dating that means anything or

764
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: has any point, or has any value or does anything

765
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: for anybody besides mild entertainment than dating to marry. Now,

766
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: dating wasn't always a thing. That's a new thing. It's

767
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 1: a late in life thing, that's a late on the

768
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:46,399
Speaker 1: timeline of humans thing. But marriage is always a thing.

769
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 1: Marriage is biblical. Marriage goes back to the beginning of time.

770
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:56,800
Speaker 1: Marriage goes back to the beginning of creation. Marriage, and

771
00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: in our relationship with Christ, represents a man marriage. We

772
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: are the bride of Christ. We represent a marriage, a

773
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: biblical marriage. We represent a marriage on earth. We make

774
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 1: a covenant with our spouse here. So, yes, it doesn't

775
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 1: matter what you've heard, doesn't matter, why you've asked that question,

776
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,399
Speaker 1: doesn't matter who told you something that made you think

777
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:23,320
Speaker 1: that that question didn't matter. It does because the Bible

778
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 1: says it does. And the Bible transcends me or my opinion,

779
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: our social media, our culture, our modern science. It is

780
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,959
Speaker 1: older than all that it has stood over the test

781
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: of time through all that. So yes, dating to Mary

782
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: still a thing. It is the thing. Okay, now the

783
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 1: other things you said, young love isn't real. You know

784
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. I don't know what that even means. But

785
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 1: of course it's real. You'll never marry her because she's

786
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 1: your first girlfriend. I don't understand what that means. It's possible.

787
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 1: It's not always, it's not always gonna happen, but it's

788
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 1: definitely possible. We have thousands of examples, millions of examples.

789
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's the issue. It's super simple. I made

790
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 1: it super complicated, but it's really easy. Is dating to

791
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: Mary still a thing? You better believe it. Love you guys,

792
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 1: See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the

793
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 1: Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You

794
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 1: could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.

795
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that

796
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never

797
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a

798
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,

799
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:43,880
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yigi