Speaker 1: My best friend took his own life, and I'd seen
Speaker 1: him two weeks earlier, Jane, two weeks earlier. And you
Speaker 1: know what I said, This is the saddest, most disappointing
Speaker 1: life experience learning I've ever had. He's going through his
Speaker 1: depression and I'm saying, just be happy, choose happiness. I
Speaker 1: didn't understand mental illness. I didn't understand depression. I didn't
Speaker 1: understand what I was saying, why I was saying it.
Speaker 1: And then he was gone, and then I'm speaking at
Speaker 1: his funeral and I fall apart. Hey everyone, welcome back
Speaker 1: to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
Speaker 1: Thanks to each and every single one of you that
Speaker 1: come back every week to listen, to learn and grow.
Speaker 1: Now you know that I love reading books. I love
Speaker 1: diving into people's minds and stories. But what I love
Speaker 1: especially is when someone had a different career, they had
Speaker 1: a different journey, but they found a way to use
Speaker 1: their platform for a higher purpose, using their incredible talent,
Speaker 1: their skills, their gifts, their lessons to have an act
Speaker 1: in the world. And today's guest, since I've had this
Speaker 1: book in my home even before I met him, has
Speaker 1: been doing just that. I'm speaking when none other than
Speaker 1: Scott O'Neill, the author of this incredible new book called
Speaker 1: Be Where Your Feet Are. Seven Principles to keep You Present, grounded,
Speaker 1: and thriving. Now, I had this book sent to me
Speaker 1: and even before I read it, i've read it now,
Speaker 1: But before I read it, I would look at this
Speaker 1: title every day and it became an affirmation, it became
Speaker 1: a mantra, it became a part of my life. So
Speaker 1: when I picked this book up, I was already excited
Speaker 1: to dive in. And today we get to sit down
Speaker 1: with Scott who's here with me in the studio, And Scott,
Speaker 1: I honestly have to tell you, from the moment you
Speaker 1: walked in through the door with your friends that you've
Speaker 1: kindly brought and introduced me to as well and people
Speaker 1: you work with, I felt nothing but presence, intentionality, groundedness.
Speaker 1: And it's beautiful to see that and how aligned you
Speaker 1: are with what you've just written. But thank you for
Speaker 1: being here. Well, Jay, I'm humbled off and you've taught
Speaker 1: me how to think like a monk. Now I want
Speaker 1: to try to be like a monk, and I hope
Speaker 1: i'm like that in this podcast, this is a dream
Speaker 1: come true. You are truly one of the great thought
Speaker 1: leaders of the world, and talking about using your platform,
Speaker 1: you're influencing people, You're driving change, and you're helping us
Speaker 1: be more grounded and more present. So thank you for
Speaker 1: all you do. No, thank you so much. I hope
Speaker 1: your wife doesn't listen to this part of the podcast.
Speaker 1: That month thing, the monk thing, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: massively in trouble for and next thing, you know, you're
Speaker 1: gonna shave your head and leave home. And that's definitely
Speaker 1: not That's why I think like a monk, don't live like.
Speaker 1: One of the stories you told that I just absolutely
Speaker 1: love is when you were sent back on the path
Speaker 1: to find something new to me that is a be
Speaker 1: where your feet are a moment and I think you
Speaker 1: found a rock, a stone or right, and you said,
Speaker 1: And what I loved most is you said, and I
Speaker 1: placed it back there for someone else to find it.
Speaker 1: And I just thought, man, could you imagine if we
Speaker 1: spend our entire life being present so we can discover
Speaker 1: new things? I say, put your phone down, get your
Speaker 1: head up. And I'm not I'm far from perfect. In fact,
Speaker 1: being in the sports business, you know, we've lost our
Speaker 1: fair share of games. I have a competitive issue and problem.
Speaker 1: And I remember coming home one night and Lisa's my
Speaker 1: wife's name, and the Sixers we were. We we famously
Speaker 1: went through this thing called the process trust, the process
Speaker 1: where we took the team down. We lost more games
Speaker 1: over three years spin than any team in NBA history
Speaker 1: and for an effort to now we're at the number
Speaker 1: one team and eat so it for a purpose, purposefully
Speaker 1: intentionally kind of having a long view of the world,
Speaker 1: which I like. I like the sense of, you know,
Speaker 1: if you want to go to the moon, don't bring
Speaker 1: a ladder type of mentality. And I came home. I
Speaker 1: was anxious, I was upset. I was frustrated. We'd just
Speaker 1: been booted off the court, and I was stomping around
Speaker 1: the house like a child. And my wife says, hey,
Speaker 1: you're doing okay. So yeah, I'm doing fine. It's like, no, no,
Speaker 1: what's going on here? And I said, well, did you
Speaker 1: see the game? So yeah, no, I watched the game.
Speaker 1: Did you see the fourth quarter? It's like, yes, I
Speaker 1: saw the fourth quarter. Did you hear us being booted?
Speaker 1: She said, Scott, I didn't even need to have the
Speaker 1: TV on to hear those boots, And I said, right,
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm a little fired up, I'm a little frustrated.
Speaker 1: And she raised her hand at me and says, this
Speaker 1: is not gonna work. It's not gonna work for me,
Speaker 1: and it's not gonna work for the kids. And I said, well,
Speaker 1: he said, how good is your team? I said, do
Speaker 1: you know we're not going to win a lot of games.
Speaker 1: She's like, you need a new system, you need a
Speaker 1: new process. This is a family. And it really struck me.
Speaker 1: It struck me like, am I being present? Am I
Speaker 1: the dad I want to be? Am I the husband
Speaker 1: I want to be when I come home? And how
Speaker 1: am I letting these outside forces impact an influence who
Speaker 1: I am and who I want to be, and how
Speaker 1: I want my energy to show up. So I just
Speaker 1: talking to a friend of mine and he said, it's
Speaker 1: a great line. He said, I have a worry tree.
Speaker 1: I said, what's a worry tree? So well, I come home,
Speaker 1: I put my hand on this tree right outside my house.
Speaker 1: All my worries flowed up into the tree, into the universe.
Speaker 1: And then I walk in my house and I said
Speaker 1: to him, I don't have one of those trees. Where
Speaker 1: do I get right? Yeah, but I did use that philosophically.
Speaker 1: When I'm in the car, I go silent. I don't
Speaker 1: listen to music anymore. I've tried to find some peace
Speaker 1: and silence. If I'm frustrated, I how at the moon.
Speaker 1: If I need an outlet, I call a friend. But
Speaker 1: that time is my time to decompress, because when I
Speaker 1: walk in that house, I want to be the best
Speaker 1: version of myself. I love hearing that. Often what happens
Speaker 1: is I think we carry that from the car into
Speaker 1: the home, and then we expect someone at home to
Speaker 1: carry it. Or like you experienced, you were just lashing
Speaker 1: out in your own space, and then your wife or
Speaker 1: your kids, they were experiencing that energy. And it reminds
Speaker 1: me recently. The first thing I thought about when you
Speaker 1: were saying that is England losing in the final of
Speaker 1: the Euros. And what was fascinating to me is that
Speaker 1: the city of London looked terrible even before the game,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't even that we lost. And then everyone
Speaker 1: chuck trash on the ground. It was like there was
Speaker 1: already trash on the ground, and then it got worse
Speaker 1: and worse and worse and it's incredible. How you know.
Speaker 1: I've seen studies that show how like domestic abuse rises
Speaker 1: when England loses and even when they win, and so
Speaker 1: you can see that these issues that you're talking about.
Speaker 1: For you, it was just the experience of your wife
Speaker 1: noticing you feeling angry and stomping your feet. But some
Speaker 1: of these things can get quite extreme when we're dissatisfied
Speaker 1: and when we're disappointed with our lives. Yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: think you're right. It reminds me of a great story
Speaker 1: in Camden, New Jersey, which is arguably the most violent
Speaker 1: city in America, and a good friend of mine in
Speaker 1: twenty twelve was named police chief. Name is Scott Thompson.
Speaker 1: Incredible guy and he had a very different philosophy on
Speaker 1: people in policing. And he would put all the police
Speaker 1: officers in the back of a swat vehicle driving around
Speaker 1: and dropman quarters. He said, Hey, if you have to
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom, you better get to know the neighbors.
Speaker 1: If you're hungry, I hope you know who's a good
Speaker 1: cook on the flock, because I'm picking you up in
Speaker 1: twelve hours, so good luck. What he was saying was
Speaker 1: was we have to be part of this community, part
Speaker 1: of the fabric of the community. And so the police
Speaker 1: officers started to get it. They started to reclaim the streets.
Speaker 1: They started to roll back the open air drug markets,
Speaker 1: so instead of fifty, there were now two, so they're contained.
Speaker 1: They add an infrastructure in it so they could be smarter,
Speaker 1: some great technology, and then unfortunately, a young teenager was
Speaker 1: killed by stray bullet from some gang nonsense. And so
Speaker 1: they came in two in the morning on a Saturday
Speaker 1: morning or Sunday morning, and also tennants were saying the
Speaker 1: same thing. Let's break out the swat, let's go get them,
Speaker 1: Let's do what we have to do. And he says, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the right answer. And they said,
Speaker 1: let's lock down, let's go door to door, let's find
Speaker 1: who did this. And so he sent everybody home three
Speaker 1: in the morning, and he walked over to a seven
Speaker 1: eleven and got an ice cream. Imagine three in the morning,
Speaker 1: and he went back to his office and he went
Speaker 1: into this a little safe where they keep money that
Speaker 1: they take when they arrest somebody, and he ordered two
Speaker 1: ice cream trucks, and the next day they drove trucks.
Speaker 1: The next day he drove these two trucks on both
Speaker 1: ends of the street because people just retreating to their
Speaker 1: house and there's violence, and he had the police officers
Speaker 1: give out free ice cream for an entire day. To me,
Speaker 1: that's and by the way, crime is down sixty five
Speaker 1: murderate is down forty eight percent, and so can you
Speaker 1: Is it because of the ice cream? No, it's because
Speaker 1: his intention is to love people. His intention is to
Speaker 1: have the community, have the citizens control their destiny and
Speaker 1: get it back. I just again that the notion of
Speaker 1: my wife if I pick up a phone and I'm
Speaker 1: talking to her saying like, I'll wait. You know, do
Speaker 1: we have people in our lives that will tell us
Speaker 1: the truth? They love us enough to tell us the
Speaker 1: truth and give us feedback so we can stay present.
Speaker 1: If you're a police chief in a really dangerous city,
Speaker 1: how are you going to be like, how are you
Speaker 1: going to change the world? Because the reality is is
Speaker 1: like we keep throwing the same solutions at the same
Speaker 1: problems and nothing's changing. You said something really important day,
Speaker 1: you said that, you know, we need to surround ourselves
Speaker 1: with people who can be honest with us and tell
Speaker 1: us the truth. But we also have to be to
Speaker 1: receive that. Often a lot of us have people in
Speaker 1: our lives that are honest with us. I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: many people's wives or husbands or partners or kids that
Speaker 1: have looked them in the face and said, I need
Speaker 1: you to think differently about your life. What have you
Speaker 1: done differently on the receiving end of that feedback, and
Speaker 1: how have you processed that feedback uniquely so that you
Speaker 1: don't retaliate with your ego or your insecurity of like, well,
Speaker 1: you don't know how hard I'm working. You don't know
Speaker 1: how hard it is to run a team and do
Speaker 1: this and start, you know, start noting down all your
Speaker 1: wins and all your achievements. How do you do that
Speaker 1: without ego? I think that a common language helps. In
Speaker 1: our house, if you walked into our house and you
Speaker 1: were leaving the back door, you would see API assume
Speaker 1: positive intent. The letters API etched into stone outside of
Speaker 1: our house. All of our daughters have API carved into rocks,
Speaker 1: sitting on their dressers and every chot we have chalkboards
Speaker 1: in our house. It's a house of girls and there's
Speaker 1: API written on every single one of them. So that's
Speaker 1: assumed positive intent. We also use the term palms up,
Speaker 1: meaning you're literally your palms are up. I'm open to listening,
Speaker 1: learning and loving. I'm not closed off, frustrated. I don't
Speaker 1: know everything. I haven't solved every problem. I'm palms up.
Speaker 1: And so if there's an issue, if there's an issue
Speaker 1: in our house, if there's an issue at work, an
Speaker 1: executive Mike Kim and say Scott because they know I'm
Speaker 1: very emotional, Scott, I need you, Api, and I need
Speaker 1: your palms up. And what they're saying to me in
Speaker 1: their own way is I know you're emotional. I know
Speaker 1: you're very competitive, I know you're very driven. I know
Speaker 1: you want to quote unquote win. But what I need
Speaker 1: is I need your ideas. I need your love, I
Speaker 1: need your understanding, and I need your solutions. So come
Speaker 1: play with me. And so that's helped me the most
Speaker 1: can overcome my own human fraility of emotion and ego
Speaker 1: and all that other crap that doesn't allow us to
Speaker 1: be the best version of ourselves. I love that Sorry
Speaker 1: you talk by them the book obviously, Api, I thought
Speaker 1: that was beautiful. I'm going to stop putting that in
Speaker 1: my office. Is inspired by you and sharing that with everyone.
Speaker 1: I mean, I absolutely love that when I've read about it,
Speaker 1: and just for anyone who missed it, assume positive intent.
Speaker 1: I think that is such an incredible way to live.
Speaker 1: How did you learn to live that way? I'm sure
Speaker 1: you've had experiences where you've assumed positive atten and people
Speaker 1: have taken advantage of you, and or people came in
Speaker 1: with malicious intent, or people came in How did you
Speaker 1: continue to practice that? I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: who are listening, they'll be thinking, right now, I love that,
Speaker 1: but too many people have taken advantage of me. Sure,
Speaker 1: how have you continued to do that throughout your career
Speaker 1: in family and profession. It's such a different way to
Speaker 1: go through life. I would say, when you have that
Speaker 1: one finger pointing out, you've got these three pointing right
Speaker 1: back at you. And I love to spend more time
Speaker 1: focusing on the guy in the mirror. We spend so
Speaker 1: much time blaming or assigning blame, or looking for excuses
Speaker 1: or finding ten reasons why I can't or this guy
Speaker 1: took advantage of me, or this woman was too nasty,
Speaker 1: and how can I assume positive and she was mean?
Speaker 1: Soon pasta has nothing to do with her attitude. It
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with how malicious he is, has
Speaker 1: all to do with me, because I am in control,
Speaker 1: I have the right intentions. Again, I perfectly say this.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not perfectly perfect in this area, of course,
Speaker 1: but I'm leaving living my best self. I'm giving you
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt every time. What's the alternative?
Speaker 1: The alternative is is that Jay, you said something I
Speaker 1: didn't like last week, or I was in church and
Speaker 1: a woman was up talking and she said something I
Speaker 1: didn't like, or my sister took my shirt, or my
Speaker 1: teacher I got a bad grade on a test, And
Speaker 1: so what does that do? Well, Well, Jay, I don't
Speaker 1: want to talk to you. Next time I talk to you.
Speaker 1: When you come in, I'm walking out the door. Your
Speaker 1: boss sends you a text and immediately your blood pressure rises.
Speaker 1: That is not a great way to any sort of success.
Speaker 1: It just isn't personally, and how you go through the
Speaker 1: life and life is better, You're happier, you're more grounded,
Speaker 1: the interactions are better. But we've all been up tight
Speaker 1: with that one person, right, that one person that gets
Speaker 1: your goat, you know, for a teenage girls or mother
Speaker 1: like your mother can say anything. You have three teenage daughters.
Speaker 1: The mother can say, hey, do you mind grabbing that
Speaker 1: sweatshirt off off the stairs? What? Mom? Because I'm a mask,
Speaker 1: because I can't clean my room. We're like, no, I
Speaker 1: just wanted to grab the sweatshirts. There's no one trips
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, I've got an awful story about that.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna share it. It's completely on the edge. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I haven't. My oldest daughter is Alexa. She's twenty
Speaker 1: one years old. And when she and she's wonderful. When
Speaker 1: she was a teenager, she wasn't so wonderful. She was
Speaker 1: always wonderful, but not wonderful with her mother. And amazingly,
Speaker 1: I have this wife who's just terrific. She is balanced
Speaker 1: and smart and driven and intellectually curious and tough and strong,
Speaker 1: and she's just wonderful. Those two together. When my daughter
Speaker 1: was a teenager, she wasn't so wonderful. Okay. So I
Speaker 1: would walk in the house and I'd be like, they
Speaker 1: would be arguing over nothing, and I would say, can
Speaker 1: you too just go away? Just separate, Like I'd two
Speaker 1: wonderful people just oil and water and argued about everything
Speaker 1: for nothing, and so one particular Thanksgiving, I've never told
Speaker 1: the story publicly. It's gonna be awesome. One particular Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: my mom was there and my sister, and my sister's
Speaker 1: a single mom with her son, and they're in the
Speaker 1: kitchen roll making potatoes and all the stuffing and all
Speaker 1: this stuff, and Lisa sounds something like this, Alexa, get
Speaker 1: downstairs and get your clothes off the stairs. And I'm
Speaker 1: like looking at her like, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: think I've ever heard of raise your voice. This is
Speaker 1: gonna be awesome. And Alexa says, Mom, what did you say.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, boy, here we go. Now my mother
Speaker 1: is here. So I kind of look at my mom
Speaker 1: like I love you. Sorry. So they go back and forth.
Speaker 1: Get down here right now, she goes, you want me
Speaker 1: to come here right now? Yes, right there, get down
Speaker 1: the stairs, right down, mom. I'm like, she walks down
Speaker 1: the stairs, not a single article of clothing on, completely naked,
Speaker 1: walks down the stairs, picks up the clothes, looks my
Speaker 1: wife dead in the eye, turns around and walks upstairs.
Speaker 1: And the only thing my mother could muster say is well,
Speaker 1: she is confident hunt now in that particular story, nobody's
Speaker 1: assuming positive intent. Yeah except for my mother. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not you know, I'm like, Lisa, stop, Alexa, just stop.
Speaker 1: And they're not with each other. And I wonder, like,
Speaker 1: how many interactions like that do we have in our
Speaker 1: lives that we can change and fix by worrying about us,
Speaker 1: not that people we're dealing with give them the benefit
Speaker 1: of doubt. Clear your head, going empty headed and ready
Speaker 1: to engage into conversations. Yeah, thank you for taking us
Speaker 1: that because I'm so glad you told that story, because
Speaker 1: we always assume that we have positive intent. So often
Speaker 1: we assume in any given scenario, I've got good intentions.
Speaker 1: Everyone else I don't know so sure about. But the
Speaker 1: example you just told us, no one had good no
Speaker 1: intenia buffing a mother, as you say, And I can't
Speaker 1: unsee that as a dad, just so yes, yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: never unsee that. And I love that idea of when
Speaker 1: you think you're stopping someone, you think that's a positive intention,
Speaker 1: but actually there's something much deeper happened. And one thing
Speaker 1: that you said that I was literally talking about this
Speaker 1: morning with a friend was the idea of why we're
Speaker 1: so addicted to the news, and I was speaking about
Speaker 1: this with someone. I was saying, the reason we're so
Speaker 1: addicted to the news is because it makes us believe
Speaker 1: the problem is out there. It makes us believe the
Speaker 1: problems over here, the issues over here, the challenge is
Speaker 1: over there, that that place, that country, they've got issues.
Speaker 1: It stops you from having to actually take a look
Speaker 1: at the person in the mirror, as you said, yes,
Speaker 1: and it just keeps telling you everything's going on out there,
Speaker 1: all the problems, all the enemies, all the challenges are
Speaker 1: all out there, and let's be scared of out there.
Speaker 1: But you then never get a chance to say, well,
Speaker 1: what am I going to work on today? You know?
Speaker 1: What do I need to I feel like that with
Speaker 1: my friends that live all over the world is if
Speaker 1: we had, you know, something happens, Is it really dangerous there?
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, Or I talked to a friend
Speaker 1: in Jerusalem and I'll say, is everything okay? So like, yeah,
Speaker 1: now there was a bombing, it was last week, it
Speaker 1: was tuesday, you know, you know. Or my friends in
Speaker 1: China they're like, is it really bad there? I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: it's actually wonderful here. It's really interesting. Yeah, those snippets
Speaker 1: of news are impacting us and influencing us. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: again I'm not saying don't wants to news be informed.
Speaker 1: I'm you're saying that that mentality for sure. Of what
Speaker 1: you were saying, getting lost in blame discontent, Yes, feeling
Speaker 1: like the issues there. There are issues there, of course,
Speaker 1: the rare. But as you were saying, it's about starting
Speaker 1: with us. I wanted to tell you a little bit
Speaker 1: I was telling you before that I was in Mozambique,
Speaker 1: which is one of the it's the third poorest country
Speaker 1: in the world. Wow, terrible employment rates, abject poverty. I
Speaker 1: went over there with my seventeen year old daughter here
Speaker 1: to help build a school, this incredible organization called Heffy
Speaker 1: h f Y. I don't have any discernible skills. I
Speaker 1: can barely hold a hammer. I am worthless around the house.
Speaker 1: That makes me feel a lot better. Okay, good, nothing, Kay.
Speaker 1: My wife's a million times better. That's really humbling. And
Speaker 1: my father, my father in law, grew up you know,
Speaker 1: building houses, so bad stories not thrown up anyway. Nonetheless,
Speaker 1: I meant this work site, construction site. The former doesn't
Speaker 1: speak English and I don't speak Geese. And you know,
Speaker 1: to any of the teenagers were with, and so I
Speaker 1: volunteer for unskilled labor. I'm thinking, like, that's the safest place.
Speaker 1: Put me in a cement mixing. So I'm in this
Speaker 1: little cement mixing area and mixing cement. I mean it's
Speaker 1: not hard, but it's simple. It's you know, you carry
Speaker 1: these hundred and ten pound bags of cement one hundred yards.
Speaker 1: You drop four for every two wheelbarrows of sand you
Speaker 1: put in, and you mix water. And I'm nine hours,
Speaker 1: okay of doing this. I'm thinking like there's a lot
Speaker 1: of things going through my mind and I can barely
Speaker 1: sit still for ten minutes, and it's hard work. And
Speaker 1: I just kept thinking about the water and how that
Speaker 1: might be reflective of us, because if you put too
Speaker 1: much water in a cement, spense worthless. It just runs
Speaker 1: away and it becomes nothing. And if you don't put
Speaker 1: enough water into that cement, it becomes hard as also worthless.
Speaker 1: And I thought about that in relation to us. It's like,
Speaker 1: what are those things in our lives that we do
Speaker 1: too much of? You know, the simple ones when you're
Speaker 1: talking to teenagers are really simple. It's like put your
Speaker 1: phone down, stop with the social media, enough for the
Speaker 1: TikTok videos it might be, And then what aren't we
Speaker 1: doing enough of? Are we spending time intentionally meditating or
Speaker 1: praying or reading scriptures if that's something that you do.
Speaker 1: Are you taking care of your body? Are you taking
Speaker 1: care of your mind? What are you learning today? Are
Speaker 1: you practicing gratitude? You know? So? I think, like to me,
Speaker 1: I had so many moments in Mozambique, in particular on
Speaker 1: the construction site where I was like, huh, how analogous
Speaker 1: is this for life? When I hear that, it sounds
Speaker 1: like sometimes we have to get out of our own
Speaker 1: comfort zones areas that we think we learn, get out
Speaker 1: of the classroom almost like that, that seems like an
Speaker 1: amazing classroom, even though you didn't go there for that lesson,
Speaker 1: or you didn't sign up for that course or program
Speaker 1: that you went there, and that's the lesson you took away.
Speaker 1: What have you found over your whole career? Do you
Speaker 1: think you've learned more lessons away from classrooms? And I
Speaker 1: don't mean schools or universities or colleges. I mean have
Speaker 1: you learned some of the biggest life lessons when you're
Speaker 1: away from home team or you know, home stadium. I
Speaker 1: consider myself a lifelong learner. I love to walk through
Speaker 1: the world thinking about how I might grow or learn.
Speaker 1: That's how I wake. Where does that come from? Boy?
Speaker 1: I grew up with two parents, both PhDs. We didn't
Speaker 1: have many means when we were young, and they were entrepreneurs,
Speaker 1: so I saw a lot of things. I mean, I
Speaker 1: was collating. My parents became management leadership, team building type
Speaker 1: trainers for Xerox and ADP and Texico and big, big
Speaker 1: companies around the world. Eventually as I got older, so
Speaker 1: I was collating books. I saw my mom present when
Speaker 1: she was in I don't know, I was probably twelve
Speaker 1: years old to Xerox, all white men at the time.
Speaker 1: That was the day and age in the eighties, and
Speaker 1: I see this little little five foot two Italian woman
Speaker 1: and making them laugh and making him cry and making
Speaker 1: him think and pushing them, and I just remember just
Speaker 1: wanting to be her and wanting to grow and be
Speaker 1: different and interesting and interested, and I mean I was
Speaker 1: literally that was probably the first moment in my life
Speaker 1: where I'm like, Okay, I need to know more, but
Speaker 1: I do love. I walk through the world thinking about
Speaker 1: what I can learn, and what I found is and
Speaker 1: I'd be interested in your insights in there. I seem
Speaker 1: to learn a lot more when I chip and fall.
Speaker 1: You know, I ended up. I wrote this book when
Speaker 1: my best friend took his own life. Like he my
Speaker 1: best friend. I'd just seen him two weeks earlier, Jay,
Speaker 1: two weeks earlier. And you know what I said, this
Speaker 1: is the saddest, most disappointing, frustrating life experience learning I've
Speaker 1: ever had. Is he's going through his depression and I'm saying,
Speaker 1: just be happy, choose happiness. Hey, will You're gonna be fine. Um,
Speaker 1: go serve people. When I'm said I serve people like
Speaker 1: I had no idea I had. I did understand met
Speaker 1: mental illness. I didn't understand depression. I didn't understand what
Speaker 1: I was saying, why I was saying it. And then
Speaker 1: he was gone, and then I'm speaking at his funeral
Speaker 1: and I fall apart, and I fall apart in a
Speaker 1: way that you know, I couldn't get out of bed.
Speaker 1: It couldn't fall asleep, or I couldn't get out of bed.
Speaker 1: And then I be in a meeting at work and
Speaker 1: someone would say something clearly unrelated. I would burst into
Speaker 1: tears and walk out for three months. Didn't raise my hand, No,
Speaker 1: I need help, didn't raise my hand. And I started
Speaker 1: to write to heal. And what I started to write
Speaker 1: was all around stories of where I slipped and fell
Speaker 1: and fell down and learned and one of the things
Speaker 1: that I've come to which I'm interested in bouncing off
Speaker 1: you and seeing where you're what your thoughts are. But
Speaker 1: I have a formula for mental health and it's you
Speaker 1: do something for your mind. Something for your body, is
Speaker 1: something for your soul. Every day you get the right
Speaker 1: amount of sleep, you practice gratitude, and it be where
Speaker 1: your feed are, meaning you put your phone down and
Speaker 1: get your head up. Now, something for your mind. To
Speaker 1: me sounds simple, but people don't do it because we're
Speaker 1: on the treadmill and all we do is work or
Speaker 1: whatever we're doing, we're doing, and you've got to have
Speaker 1: an interest outside of work. You have to have a passion.
Speaker 1: You have to be learning. It doesn't have to be complicated.
Speaker 1: It could be a ted talk, it could be this podcast,
Speaker 1: it could be an article. But you've got to be
Speaker 1: learning and stretching your mind in different ways. Your body,
Speaker 1: you have to take care of yourself. And I know
Speaker 1: for me, I pick up basketball or a peloton. If
Speaker 1: I can't get a run in, I'm on a peloton
Speaker 1: for forty five minutes. And I'm not advocating for anything
Speaker 1: for anyone. And if you haven't worked out and you're
Speaker 1: more happy sitting on a couch, go for a walk
Speaker 1: for twenty minutes. Get the heart rate up a little bit.
Speaker 1: And then the soul at work. It's easy to talk
Speaker 1: about on your podcast, harder at work and work environments,
Speaker 1: but you know you have to feed your soul. And
Speaker 1: for me that's prayer and scriptures and go into church
Speaker 1: and having a strong faith. And I know that doesn't
Speaker 1: work for everybody. Not's okay, but you need to find stillness.
Speaker 1: And that stillness can be meditation, it can be yoga,
Speaker 1: it can be sitting out and listening to the birds
Speaker 1: chirp in the morning. And sleep is the most misunderstood
Speaker 1: superpower you can ever have, because when I was growing
Speaker 1: up in the business world, it was sleeps for the week.
Speaker 1: Money never sleeps. You need four hours get back to work.
Speaker 1: And when I found and we brought in sleep experts
Speaker 1: with our athletes, with the Sixers and Devils and they
Speaker 1: all say the same thing. You need sleep. Sleep lets
Speaker 1: the mind, body, and soul heal. And so you need
Speaker 1: somewhere between six and a half and eight and a
Speaker 1: half hours, depending on what your DNA is in your
Speaker 1: makeup and your lifestyle. And then gratitude. I know you
Speaker 1: talked about gratitude, but I was when Will passed away, died,
Speaker 1: took his own life. I wanted to move from grief
Speaker 1: to gratitude. But that was hard for me and it
Speaker 1: was the one thing that lifted me up every day.
Speaker 1: And I had this practice and when I speak to
Speaker 1: corporate groups, I always tell them I started the session
Speaker 1: every time and I say, okay, take your phones out,
Speaker 1: because they think IM gonna say put your phones down,
Speaker 1: and say nope, get your phones out. I want you
Speaker 1: to text your mom and I want you to tell
Speaker 1: that you love her, why you appreciate her is something
Speaker 1: you learned from her. Because when I did that to
Speaker 1: my mom going through my own healing process, my mom said,
Speaker 1: the worst thing you could ever hear from your mother,
Speaker 1: un are you okay? And we need to be better
Speaker 1: and do better, but practicing gratitude. So my challenge is
Speaker 1: is sixty seconds a day, said the note of gratitude, love,
Speaker 1: or appreciation to someone in your life. Sixty seconds, not
Speaker 1: sixty minutes, not sixty hours, not sixty months, sixty seconds
Speaker 1: a day, and then be where your feet are is
Speaker 1: put your phone down, ahead up. And we all need
Speaker 1: rules because we can't regulate. It's very hard and our rules,
Speaker 1: like my teenage stars hate our rules because their phones
Speaker 1: aren't in the phones and electronic devices are not in
Speaker 1: their rooms, and they're not in the kitchen, so no
Speaker 1: better room, no kitchen for all of us. We have
Speaker 1: regulations on how much social media they can actually watch.
Speaker 1: I know nobody wants to say it and do it,
Speaker 1: and I wish they could regulate. But you know what,
Speaker 1: I've been the victim of some really tough criticism on
Speaker 1: Twitter and read it. Okay, I've been attacked and come
Speaker 1: after it. And I consider myself very confident, very self assured, stable,
Speaker 1: and I feel apart a few times, and I wonder, like,
Speaker 1: if that's happened to me, What was happening to a
Speaker 1: fourteen year old girl who's seeing her friends at a
Speaker 1: party on Instagram that she's not invited to. She's falling apart,
Speaker 1: she's not feeling good. About herself's not feeling good about
Speaker 1: her body. She's figuring out what she has to wear,
Speaker 1: how she wants to do it. But we have to
Speaker 1: set If we can't regulate ourselves, we need to put
Speaker 1: rules in. I go out to dinner the other day,
Speaker 1: what happens. My friends are sitting at the table on
Speaker 1: their phone. So, like, guys, we haven't seen your cithern here?
Speaker 1: What are we doing? Put your phones in your car? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And so I think it's going back too simple. Do
Speaker 1: something for your mind, something for your body, something for
Speaker 1: your soul. Every day, get some sleep, practice gratitude, and
Speaker 1: be where your feed are. I love that I completely
Speaker 1: aligned with you. The thing that I loved about what
Speaker 1: you were saying that stood out to me, which I appreciate,
Speaker 1: is you calling out toxic positivity. So I appreciate you
Speaker 1: calling out toxic positivity because you saying that, Hey, when
Speaker 1: Will told me that he was sad, I just told
Speaker 1: him to be happy. When he was struggling with this,
Speaker 1: I told him, well, this is what I do. Why
Speaker 1: don't you just try it? And I think that's such
Speaker 1: a valuable conversation to have. What were the conversations you
Speaker 1: learned after you lost him, that you felt you should
Speaker 1: have been having with him or could have been having
Speaker 1: with him, and that our listeners could be having with people,
Speaker 1: because I think what's also happened is that there are
Speaker 1: so many people in our lives that are now considered
Speaker 1: the drain or they're like, oh God, I don't want
Speaker 1: to see them because they're a headache. They always drained me.
Speaker 1: It's always about them, but you never know what someone's
Speaker 1: going through. After my cement mixing days, I got quote
Speaker 1: unquote promoted to wheelbarrowing cement. Okay, so now I'd hit
Speaker 1: the big time and the way your wheel cement and
Speaker 1: I've done it as a fourteen year old where I
Speaker 1: was digging pools is you you know, you get this
Speaker 1: heavy wheelbarrow and you just cruise it down this little
Speaker 1: two by four and there's a hard left. It goes
Speaker 1: up on the sidewalk. You move it down to the
Speaker 1: classroom re building, and two kids pick it up and
Speaker 1: you're wheeled into the classroom. Pretty simple, but it's heavy.
Speaker 1: I'm like a relatively fit guy. Now I'm a man.
Speaker 1: When I was fourteen, I could barely you know, I
Speaker 1: could barely play. It's like I got this covered. So
Speaker 1: the first time I get this wheelbarrow and I am
Speaker 1: cruising down a little faster, not hoped down the slope,
Speaker 1: and I go to make the left turn and I
Speaker 1: can't move it, and I go right into the sand. Okay,
Speaker 1: into the sand speed at speed? Okay, no no, no,
Speaker 1: cement comes out. And now I'm moving in at it
Speaker 1: probably like an inch every ten seconds, and I'm like
Speaker 1: just leaning in with my thigh just to kind of
Speaker 1: push it forward. And these two teenaged girls, one of
Speaker 1: them which whom was my daughter, come and they're like, hey, Scott,
Speaker 1: you need help. Sure, they pick it up, put me
Speaker 1: back on this two by four and I'm on my way. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's my first trip. So the lesson and how it
Speaker 1: relates to your question, Well, one is is that path
Speaker 1: to me that two by four? That's life? And guess what.
Speaker 1: Life's messy and life's hard. And we think like we
Speaker 1: have this fairy tale and we're growing up. We have
Speaker 1: this vision of who we want to be and where
Speaker 1: we want to go and what we're going to accomplish.
Speaker 1: And me, I remember someone telling me every studio gets fired.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not getting fired. Every startup guy
Speaker 1: goes banging along. That's not gonna happen. You both happened
Speaker 1: to me, okay. And so so I'm sitting in this
Speaker 1: sand and I get the offer to help. And you
Speaker 1: might say, like humbling was that to have two teenage
Speaker 1: girls help you. I was like, no, I have a house,
Speaker 1: and teenage goes, I now strong, the r and smart
Speaker 1: the I didn't bother them at all. They put me
Speaker 1: back on. But I thought about that whole analogy of
Speaker 1: like how hard it is to be on that two
Speaker 1: by four. And then I thought about and for me,
Speaker 1: two by four is going through my six steps, something
Speaker 1: for mine, something for my body, something from my soul, sleep, gratitude,
Speaker 1: being where my feet are. Okay, living the right way,
Speaker 1: making the right decisions, having high integrity, serving others, having
Speaker 1: true purpose, and developing people because that we all have need.
Speaker 1: And I know you talk about this in your book
Speaker 1: Alat It's like we all need our why, our own
Speaker 1: personal why. And so if I'm living that, it's hard, okay,
Speaker 1: but you know it's harder not living it. That's the
Speaker 1: irony that you don't think about. Yeah, right, Because now
Speaker 1: I'm in the sand, and the sand for me is
Speaker 1: sin or mistakes or bad decisions, or not assuming positive
Speaker 1: intent or not focusing on what's most important in my life.
Speaker 1: That's the sin. You know what I needed, just like
Speaker 1: we all needed. Just raised my hand. Hey, guys, ladies
Speaker 1: can come help me here. And when someone suffering from
Speaker 1: depression and really struggling they need help, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to be able to help someone. He needs to check
Speaker 1: into a facility. I need his professional help and medication,
Speaker 1: and he'd done that before and I will. You know,
Speaker 1: that's something that I think about a lot, quite frankly,
Speaker 1: and thank you for sharing that, and thank you for
Speaker 1: writing about it in the book and creating the book
Speaker 1: from that place, because you know, it takes a lot
Speaker 1: of courage to say that what you just said and
Speaker 1: what you're sharing and even sharing all of this based
Speaker 1: on a loss, because there's so much self reflection that
Speaker 1: comes with that. And when you were saying that journey
Speaker 1: from grief to gratitude was the most difficult journey and
Speaker 1: obviously will continue to be. In the book, you also
Speaker 1: talk about how to create presence and your four steps
Speaker 1: for creating presents, and I wanted to talk about them
Speaker 1: individually because I find these to be really deeply profound
Speaker 1: and insightful. If we can really get we can really
Speaker 1: go there. And so the first one's find a perspective.
Speaker 1: And I find like that is something, as you talk
Speaker 1: about the book, when you're moving at one hundred and
Speaker 1: fifteen miles per hour, when you've got all this going on,
Speaker 1: finding perspective is the thing that we never do. And
Speaker 1: if we do it, we do it once, maybe for
Speaker 1: our New Year's resolutions, or maybe on our birthday if
Speaker 1: you're lucky. How do you truly stop to find perspective?
Speaker 1: What has helped you when you've been at your busiest, hectic,
Speaker 1: most chaotic weeks, days, months, and years. For me, it's
Speaker 1: coming home and the humility of being a father helpful.
Speaker 1: It really does. Changing a diaper helps, taking out the
Speaker 1: garbage helps. I love hearing, going to grab grocery helps.
Speaker 1: But you know, we all have those moments in our
Speaker 1: life where we truly find where we truly find humility
Speaker 1: and perspective. And and I don't mean to go back,
Speaker 1: keep going back to Mozambique, but I'm going to It's
Speaker 1: like I'm in houses without any running water or electricity,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking to him and I'm I'm looking out
Speaker 1: over a work site and the kids are under a
Speaker 1: tree in the shade with a blackboard and a teacher,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, like, life isn't fair. Yeah. There's a
Speaker 1: story in the book about Dave Schaller, who's a dear
Speaker 1: friend who grew up in a trailer park and was mad.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like, why, dude, why is this my
Speaker 1: lot in life? His dad had some addiction issues and
Speaker 1: was at a shelter and they were going to pick
Speaker 1: him up, and he pulls up to the shelter and
Speaker 1: he remembers, even at a young age, he's got three
Speaker 1: younger siblings, and he's feeling mad, not awkward, not embar mad.
Speaker 1: And as his dad's walking down the stairs, he looks
Speaker 1: to the left and there's a woman with a blue
Speaker 1: Duffel bag. She's got three kids, and instantly he finds perspective.
Speaker 1: She's got nowhere to go. He's an a trailer she
Speaker 1: didn't have a crappy astrovan to take me home, and
Speaker 1: she's got no dad to pick up. Even with all
Speaker 1: his issues. This is it for her and for him.
Speaker 1: That was that grounding moment for me. Quite frankly, my
Speaker 1: faith has given me, so it's putting my feet on
Speaker 1: the ground, you know, the humility to get on your
Speaker 1: knees and be prayerful and humble and understand kind of
Speaker 1: your role, you your place, your the the dot you
Speaker 1: have in the universe and has really helped trips like Mozambique.
Speaker 1: I've had daughters. One of my oldest daughter, the one
Speaker 1: that I told you about about her episode, she's served
Speaker 1: in a Syrian refugee camp in Athens. She's been with
Speaker 1: orphans and Zambia living on a dirt floor. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm thinking, like, good for these kids, our next gen,
Speaker 1: our gen zs. They're special, They're different, and they're special,
Speaker 1: and they have this incredible light and life and social
Speaker 1: contract which is different for employers and for all of us.
Speaker 1: And I love how their global citizens, and I love
Speaker 1: how they don't see the world like we do it.
Speaker 1: And I love how their expectation is that that we
Speaker 1: do things differently, and that we help each other, and
Speaker 1: that we serve one another, and that we love one another.
Speaker 1: And that's the expectation. And if you don't, if you're
Speaker 1: an employer and you don't do it, let's leave. They
Speaker 1: don't have cars, no house, they don't care, they don't
Speaker 1: held their jobs. I love the way the world is going.
Speaker 1: And I know a lot of people are they're down.
Speaker 1: They're down, they've been down in America, or they're down
Speaker 1: in the world, or they're down in the next generation,
Speaker 1: or it's not the same. I don't I don't agree.
Speaker 1: I love this I love this country, and I know
Speaker 1: we struggle, but we struggle out loud. You know. We
Speaker 1: struggle with free press. We struggle with being better. We
Speaker 1: struggle with like meeting the ideals that we have that
Speaker 1: are so unrealistic and so high and not attainable. We
Speaker 1: struggle to get there. I love that struggle. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love the fight, and I love that there are sides.
Speaker 1: I wish we did it differently. I wish we didn't
Speaker 1: create our own media so much and create all this fiction.
Speaker 1: I wish that we had a vision for for doing
Speaker 1: something better and being something better together. But I do.
Speaker 1: I do. I am grateful, I am grounded, and I
Speaker 1: have perspective, and a lot of that is intentional. A
Speaker 1: lot of it. It's like, where how are you spending
Speaker 1: your Thanksgiving? Yeah, you know, how are you spending your
Speaker 1: summer vacations. How are we raising our children? Are we
Speaker 1: willing to learn from our children? Are we learned to
Speaker 1: listen to them? They know, they know how to treat
Speaker 1: each other. So I think the whole it's a whole
Speaker 1: host of questions and a complicated answer to a really
Speaker 1: complicated question. Yeah. No, I mean I asked the question
Speaker 1: because I think as soon as you on today, it
Speaker 1: was really clear what your perspective is, what your focus is.
Speaker 1: And you can go on Instagram and find a very
Speaker 1: different perspective, or you could be following places of already
Speaker 1: service work and you could get that perspective too. The
Speaker 1: thing is today you can go on YouTube and search
Speaker 1: Mozambique Building schools and you can find an incredible video
Speaker 1: about the inspiring stories that are right there. You don't
Speaker 1: have to visit, you don't have to have the means
Speaker 1: to go over there and help to be a part
Speaker 1: of this. And we found that this year, my wife
Speaker 1: and I led a COVID relief for India because India
Speaker 1: was going through just so much. We knew that one
Speaker 1: person was dying every five minutes. The resources and the
Speaker 1: infrastructure didn't exist. My wife and I are heritages from India.
Speaker 1: My month life was spent in India, so I feel
Speaker 1: a certain level of responsibility towards India. And what I
Speaker 1: saw was that everyone's perspective was dialed in, Like our
Speaker 1: social media community raised five million dollars in one weekend,
Speaker 1: and that to me showed just how incredible the perspective
Speaker 1: is when people are daled in. I know, how amazing
Speaker 1: my community is. I love that, And it showed me
Speaker 1: the power of when everyone's like, oh, what social media
Speaker 1: does this? And social media, I'm like, we can have
Speaker 1: done this without social media, right, But your intention is
Speaker 1: pure and so is our community. And your community is pure,
Speaker 1: and you're and the love that you show and have
Speaker 1: and the way you even celebrate your listeners and who
Speaker 1: comment like I that community is it's a Jay Shetty community.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's wonderful and full of love. And I agree.
Speaker 1: It's like when I say, pick up your phone and
Speaker 1: text your mom or text my love or I'm going
Speaker 1: to use my social media platform for good. That intention
Speaker 1: that like how you set your day. I'd love to
Speaker 1: talk about that too. It's like I'd be so interested
Speaker 1: in how you set your day every day. I mean,
Speaker 1: we talk about doing it to a leadership constitution or
Speaker 1: a mantra. But they're like, I don't know, I just invite.
Speaker 1: I'd be interested, like do you set like do you
Speaker 1: read something? Do you say something? How do you how
Speaker 1: do you set your intention for the day. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: changed over time, and now I always try and find
Speaker 1: a pattern because I like patterns, and I like routines,
Speaker 1: and I like commitment, and so it's changed over time.
Speaker 1: At one point, this was truly one of my favorite
Speaker 1: morning routines. Every day I would wake up and I
Speaker 1: would listen to Steve jobs Is commencement speech at Stamford,
Speaker 1: and I listened to it every day, And I listened
Speaker 1: to it every day for nine months. And I promise
Speaker 1: you not only did I know the words off by heart,
Speaker 1: but the words like started to really affect my heart
Speaker 1: to the point that I realized that all the choices
Speaker 1: I made were all based on his voice in my head.
Speaker 1: Now I didn't know Steve Jobs. I don't even know
Speaker 1: anyone who knows Steve's Jobs, but I feel like I
Speaker 1: know him because I've spent so much time studying his
Speaker 1: life and listening to him and reading through his work.
Speaker 1: So that was something I did. I don't do that anymore,
Speaker 1: but that was something I did. Recently, we had Matthew
Speaker 1: McConaughey on the podcast and I told him that at
Speaker 1: one point I listened to his speech from the Oscars
Speaker 1: when he won for Dallas Buyas Club. I think that
Speaker 1: was a movie he won for and it's a five
Speaker 1: minute speech and it says Oscar's acceptance speech. It's rooted
Speaker 1: in faith and God and growth. It's beautiful and I
Speaker 1: listened to it every day for thirty days, and that
Speaker 1: was my thing that I did first thing in the morning.
Speaker 1: So those have been certain things that I really like
Speaker 1: that are practical for people without learning a new habit
Speaker 1: or learning a new skill or learning how to meditate.
Speaker 1: But the primary focus of my schedule now is when
Speaker 1: I wake up, the first thing I do is I
Speaker 1: have a small posting note on the side of my
Speaker 1: bed and it says what am I grateful for? And
Speaker 1: so that's the first thing I see. And so the
Speaker 1: reason I do that is because so often my first
Speaker 1: thought when I wake up is I'm tired, right, That's
Speaker 1: so it's such a natural autopilot thought, Oh let me
Speaker 1: look at my schedule. Oh my gosh, got so much
Speaker 1: to do today, right, Like, that's such a normal thought.
Speaker 1: And I've read so many studies about choosing our thoughts,
Speaker 1: and my belief is if that the first choice I
Speaker 1: make in the morning is to choose a grateful thought,
Speaker 1: and that will transform every choice I make for the
Speaker 1: rest of the day. If you choose to love your
Speaker 1: child the first thing in the morning, you're more likely
Speaker 1: to love them throughout the day. If you choose to
Speaker 1: plant a beautiful seed, it's more likely to grow into
Speaker 1: a tree and a fruit by the evening. So for me,
Speaker 1: that's been the first thing I do. Straight after that,
Speaker 1: I go to my meditation packed practice, which has always
Speaker 1: been Montreal meditation for many many years, and I've developed
Speaker 1: this so I don't recommend this to anyone. I meditate
Speaker 1: for about one and a half hours to two hours
Speaker 1: every morning. It's the first thing I do. And for me,
Speaker 1: that's my connection to God, it's my spiritual connection, it's
Speaker 1: my faith connection. It's me learning to be an instrument
Speaker 1: to purify all of the impurities and issues that I
Speaker 1: have so that I can actually be a vessel of service.
Speaker 1: And so that's what that does for me. And then
Speaker 1: it's very similar to what you said, mind body. Straight
Speaker 1: after that, I'm out playing tennis. So tennis has been
Speaker 1: my exercise consistently now for maybe the last year. And
Speaker 1: I started to realize I didn't enjoy gyms, but I
Speaker 1: love sport. I love competition, I love play. And there
Speaker 1: was a beautiful quote from Richard Branson that stuck with
Speaker 1: my head. And I probably read this when I was sixteen.
Speaker 1: I remember reading his books when in my teens, and
Speaker 1: I read this when I was sixteen. And it's funny
Speaker 1: because now obviously I'm not old, but I'm older than
Speaker 1: I was when I was sixteen. And he said, we
Speaker 1: don't stop playing because we get old. We get old
Speaker 1: because we stop playing. And that's what Drooma did Talents.
Speaker 1: I was like, I need to add more play into
Speaker 1: my life. And then straight after that, I'll sit down
Speaker 1: and set an intention for the day. So I'll look
Speaker 1: at my schedule and I'll think, what energy do I need?
Speaker 1: So today I've got a day of interviews. I'm sitting
Speaker 1: with people. Some people have met, some people I haven't met,
Speaker 1: And so my intention is, how can I truly serve
Speaker 1: this person the best so that they can serve humanity
Speaker 1: through what we're doing. And so now when I'm sitting
Speaker 1: here with you, all I'm thinking about is just I
Speaker 1: cannot wait for everyone listening to read this book. Not
Speaker 1: only are you a great author, you're a phenomenal storyteller.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting on this podcast going, Scott, I had no
Speaker 1: idea you're this good at storyteller, and I'm loving it.
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying that because I'm appreciating just how much people
Speaker 1: are going to be moved when they finally get to
Speaker 1: dive into your work. And so that's that's my general
Speaker 1: morning routine every day that I follow that works for me.
Speaker 1: I love that. I would love to tell you my
Speaker 1: youngest daughter, Eliza, was fourteen UM every night before she's
Speaker 1: gone to bed, now this is a four year practice.
Speaker 1: Every day has not missed a day. She writes down
Speaker 1: fourteen things. I have no idea why it's fourteen that
Speaker 1: she's fear is that she's grateful for every day okay,
Speaker 1: has never repeated once, never really incredible. So now think
Speaker 1: about what that says to you for the next day,
Speaker 1: because now you have to be in tune as to
Speaker 1: what you're being grateful for. Much like you do in
Speaker 1: the morning. I like it better in the morning like
Speaker 1: you do. But I love the notion of that. The
Speaker 1: other thing she does, which is I think it's the cutest.
Speaker 1: She'll be embarrassed if I ever say that someone I'm
Speaker 1: going to say it, but it's the cutest. She has
Speaker 1: a happiness clicker, happy thoughts clicker, So if you go
Speaker 1: by her room at night, you'll hear click click click click,
Speaker 1: click click click. And it just warms my heart to
Speaker 1: hear someone who's actually having happy thoughts and rewarding herself
Speaker 1: for the happy thoughts. Is that beautiful, Scott, I think
Speaker 1: we have the wrong person on the podcast. This is
Speaker 1: she sounds amazing. Those are by far two of my
Speaker 1: faith you have just there's there's two things that you've
Speaker 1: just shared and I can't what's her name, Eliza, Eliza? Okay, Eliza,
Speaker 1: when you listen to this, if you ever do, if
Speaker 1: you watch this, I just want you to know you
Speaker 1: have taught me something two incredible lessons today that I'm
Speaker 1: going to share with so many people. I'm gonna quote
Speaker 1: you on it. I'm gonna put it out there because
Speaker 1: you've blown my mind. First of all, I love that
Speaker 1: piece of advice that she has never repeated one that
Speaker 1: is incredible. That's amazing. Is so easy because you remember
Speaker 1: at first, you're like, mom, dad, my house, my school.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, just write the first oxygen first month, right,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, that's but to not repeat right, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: It's like dispute. Now you're actually digging and looking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. And then the second
Speaker 1: one that you said, so don't repeat your gratitude. I
Speaker 1: think that is such a beautiful message. And the reason
Speaker 1: why I love the happiness clicker is because I was
Speaker 1: literally quoting a study yesterday. The study on our thoughts
Speaker 1: shows that we have sixty to eighty thousand thoughts per day,
Speaker 1: and eighty percent are not only repetitive, but negative. And
Speaker 1: so the fact that your daughter is counting her positive
Speaker 1: thoughts and we both know, I mean, you know better
Speaker 1: than anyone. If you don't measure something, it's not going
Speaker 1: to grow, it's not going to change. The fact that
Speaker 1: she is counting her positive thoughts that gives her a
Speaker 1: tally to try and live up to the next day
Speaker 1: and grow. I love that. That is genius. It's funny.
Speaker 1: I was actually thinking about it. I wanted to I
Speaker 1: was speaking to someone about this a few months ago,
Speaker 1: and that's why I love that so much. I was
Speaker 1: talking to someone about how measuring how many steps they
Speaker 1: took change their lives, right, Like whether you use a
Speaker 1: fitbit or an aura ring or whatever you use, the
Speaker 1: idea is that measuring that you did your ten thousand steps.
Speaker 1: And I saw families getting into these league tables with
Speaker 1: each other and kids and families competing. And I literally
Speaker 1: said this to a very close friend of mine who've
Speaker 1: had on the podcast as well, and I said to him,
Speaker 1: I said, how cool would it be if you could
Speaker 1: measure someone's positive thoughts? That would be so like if
Speaker 1: we had a device that could track your thoughts and
Speaker 1: could say to you every day, you your three thousand
Speaker 1: thoughts away from having ten thousand positive thoughts, right, and
Speaker 1: you could measure someone's positivity that would engage them to like,
Speaker 1: no one wants to have ten thousand steps. We just
Speaker 1: do it when we know we're eight thousand, You're all right,
Speaker 1: two thousand and more. I can do that, but I
Speaker 1: wonder if we could. You know, I have this notion
Speaker 1: that negative self talk, especially again, I'm with a lot
Speaker 1: of teenagers, so they say things. And I had this
Speaker 1: notion that when you say something, it's not how you
Speaker 1: intuitively think you say it, and it goes into your
Speaker 1: subconscious effect it. And um, you know, I'm a I'm
Speaker 1: a product of you know, two PhD's hippie hippie parents
Speaker 1: and they were all about you know, positive affirmations. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, and we got away from that the last
Speaker 1: few years. But but and we replace it with a
Speaker 1: mantra or a leadership constitution. I love positive affirmation, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: But like I wonder if those positive thoughts is something
Speaker 1: that we can be saying in the morning. Yes, Like
Speaker 1: get them out there, because it'll make you happier, it'll
Speaker 1: make the world better, It'll make your interactions better. I'll
Speaker 1: help you assume positive in ten or I'll help you
Speaker 1: focus on what's most important. We do all those positive
Speaker 1: things that we need, you know, and like writing them
Speaker 1: down is good. Saying them matters. Yes, yes, Eliza, you have.
Speaker 1: I'm never going to figure those two stavements. I'm going
Speaker 1: to be sharing them a lot with people. They're so powerful,
Speaker 1: they're so powerful, and there's so much wisdom in that.
Speaker 1: And that's writing down what you're grateful for is such
Speaker 1: an overused tip and it's great, and that's why I
Speaker 1: love what you said, share it, express it that sixty
Speaker 1: second text your mom, Like, that's where it starts working.
Speaker 1: But it also works when it's not repetitive. So I
Speaker 1: think that's that's incredible. Thank you so much, Eliza. The
Speaker 1: second step is seak authentic feedback. This one, I think
Speaker 1: is become more and more difficult for people to do
Speaker 1: because seeking authentic feedback means you have authentic relationships. Yes,
Speaker 1: because you can only seek authentic feedback from people you
Speaker 1: genuinely have a relationship with or that understand you. Tell
Speaker 1: us about your journey to tell me about the time
Speaker 1: when you sort authentic feedback, and examples of both types
Speaker 1: of feedback you received inauthentic or authentic. You know, what
Speaker 1: happens in a career is hard. When you're young, you
Speaker 1: have mentors, and then you start hopping over your mentors, yes,
Speaker 1: and then you get a big job and even the
Speaker 1: people that you love the most and they have worked
Speaker 1: with side by side for three companies or two companies,
Speaker 1: or those that you've groomed since their early days and
Speaker 1: they're now your direct reports and they're not going to
Speaker 1: tell you the truth, and then you're bored. In my case,
Speaker 1: or your bosses, they're not going to tell your truth anyway,
Speaker 1: and you're not sure you want it, you know, so
Speaker 1: that becomes really complicated. I've found a couple of places
Speaker 1: that are you know, solveced. There's a group called YPO
Speaker 1: Young Presidents Organization, which puts you in a room with
Speaker 1: eight to ten other CEOs and you have what they
Speaker 1: call form confidential meetings where nothing comes out and you
Speaker 1: talk about things that you can't really talk about, you know,
Speaker 1: issues at home, troubles with a child, troubles at work,
Speaker 1: negotiating a contract, like who are you going to call?
Speaker 1: So that that was an incredible source of strength to
Speaker 1: me for the last fifteen years. My forum and YPO.
Speaker 1: So that's one group where they love me, they don't
Speaker 1: judge me, they're honest, they're strong, they're my peers. So
Speaker 1: I think that formula, whether it's YPO or some other
Speaker 1: group of your peers, is good. My brothers are incredible
Speaker 1: sources of strength, and my sister, my three brothers and
Speaker 1: sister all running companies. But they love me too much,
Speaker 1: you know, and they'll always take my side, always my
Speaker 1: wife not so much. And and and and she loves me,
Speaker 1: but she'll tell me, you know, and and I imagine
Speaker 1: for you for your wife, she sees Jay shetty okay,
Speaker 1: Jay Jay, do your laundry okay, you know. And and
Speaker 1: and there's a partnership that is critical and that um,
Speaker 1: I'm sure your wife is strong where you when you know,
Speaker 1: my wife is strong and I needed a strong woman. Um,
Speaker 1: and so and we have complete divisional labor, and you know,
Speaker 1: but there is an expectation that when when I need it,
Speaker 1: she gets it to me, whether I ask for it
Speaker 1: or not, which I absolutely love. I'm a little more
Speaker 1: delicate just in terms of style with her. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: say it a lot nicer. Yeah, Um, I think I
Speaker 1: do the same. Yeah. It's a good tactic. Five years together,
Speaker 1: that's God's working. It's working. Um, and she's been amazing.
Speaker 1: So so those are my two sources of YPO. And
Speaker 1: then and then my wife. I love this. There's a
Speaker 1: great idea. How about you? How that has it worked
Speaker 1: for you so hard? Because you're a celebrity and star like?
Speaker 1: Is that like so different? You know what? I'm really
Speaker 1: fortunate and and I made this a conscious like intention
Speaker 1: as as my life crew, is that I'm always the poorest,
Speaker 1: least successful and Lee's wise, but you know, least wise
Speaker 1: person in the room. And so I try and surround
Speaker 1: myself by people who are far ahead of me and
Speaker 1: every way I possibly can. And they're not always the
Speaker 1: same rooms because you don't necessarily find people across all
Speaker 1: three of those in the same room might be getting
Speaker 1: harder on all three fronts for you. Definitely smaller, no, no,
Speaker 1: definitely not a small I feel like I feel like
Speaker 1: the higher you go, you realize how big the world
Speaker 1: about big people's visions are. When I when I want
Speaker 1: the wise, I go to the monks. I was I
Speaker 1: was just talking to about this the other day. I
Speaker 1: shared this with Randy actually, and I was saying that
Speaker 1: I was I was coaching, I was working with someone recently,
Speaker 1: and I was speaking to my monk teacher about who
Speaker 1: I was working with. So, my monk teachers seventy years old.
Speaker 1: He's been a monk for forty years. He's lived life.
Speaker 1: He's like I got every life experience. He's coached children
Speaker 1: since they're born to go on to become incredible people.
Speaker 1: He's coached you know, heads of societies and states, and
Speaker 1: you know, he's he's had an amazing life. And so
Speaker 1: when I go to him and he's seventy years old
Speaker 1: and you know, I'm half his age, and you know,
Speaker 1: it's you start recognizing just how much more there is
Speaker 1: to life and how much you still have to learn
Speaker 1: and live. And I was telling him, I'm coaching this
Speaker 1: person on this, and I'm working with this celebrity on
Speaker 1: this or whatever it is. And he goes he said
Speaker 1: to me, said, he said, I'm so happy for you
Speaker 1: because I'm so happy. He said, I'm so happy because
Speaker 1: you get to help everyone with your problems. And it
Speaker 1: was like that humbling reminder. I was like, you're getting
Speaker 1: to coach people on what you need coaching for, and
Speaker 1: that is God's gift to you, that you're getting to
Speaker 1: help people with what you're going to need help with.
Speaker 1: And so I think you know that wisdom that I
Speaker 1: get from the monk teachers that I have that I
Speaker 1: still am very much in touch with. They're always very
Speaker 1: humbling and grounding. And I think my sister family, so
Speaker 1: my sister, what you were saying. My sister, whenever I
Speaker 1: start speaking to her, she'd be like, stop going on
Speaker 1: Ja Shetty on me like she literally say, and my
Speaker 1: sister loves me and I love one of my best friends.
Speaker 1: She's four half years younger than me and stopped giving
Speaker 1: me a Jetty video like I just want my brother
Speaker 1: look and I'm like, this is me, Like, but she
Speaker 1: has to say that to me. And you know, in
Speaker 1: the beginning he used to hurt me. Now I find
Speaker 1: it cute and adorable and then my wife, you're spot on. Like.
Speaker 1: There was an interview that Robert Downey Junior did and
Speaker 1: he talked about how they were like how do you
Speaker 1: stay humble your Iron Man? You build the Marvel universe.
Speaker 1: I mean this guy's you know, he's crushed it over
Speaker 1: the last few years with all the amazing movies you did.
Speaker 1: And he just said, he said, you know what, when
Speaker 1: I get home, you know, my kids are not like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's Iron Man. You know. He was like,
Speaker 1: my wife's like take the trash out. And he was
Speaker 1: just like what you said, same thing, like you know
Speaker 1: your family, and I think that's a beautiful thing. I
Speaker 1: think often this is what I was sharing with a
Speaker 1: lot of my male friends. I said, especially as men,
Speaker 1: I think often we want our wives to validate us
Speaker 1: for what we achieve and not who we are, right,
Speaker 1: and we forget that they chose. My wife has been
Speaker 1: with me since I didn't have a job, you know,
Speaker 1: and so my wife, my wife's parents took way better
Speaker 1: care than I did of her in the first three
Speaker 1: years of our marriage, and what I could offer her
Speaker 1: was far less than what her parents could offer her.
Speaker 1: But I think we forget that is we want to
Speaker 1: be validated for like being that singer or that athlete,
Speaker 1: or being a speaker, or like can't you see him
Speaker 1: a number one New York Times Best? Like that? You
Speaker 1: don't want to be loved for that. No, you're so right,
Speaker 1: I'm speaking of that. You said that. I thought it
Speaker 1: was really interesting, And I forgot to mention that I've
Speaker 1: had three great coaches. I'm trisiand Off and Spencer Hole
Speaker 1: and then Brendan Bruschhard most recently. And I didn't realize
Speaker 1: you worked with just with him too. You're kidding me.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that we were literally so Brendan just
Speaker 1: we're all part of the same mastermind, and we just
Speaker 1: literally were with Brendan four days. I loved being he is.
Speaker 1: He helped me rediscover what it meant to be a
Speaker 1: leader again. Wow. And I think that's the gift that
Speaker 1: coaches can give you. And they think. He does not
Speaker 1: surround issues either, So he gave me some incredible feedback
Speaker 1: over time, but helped me get there on my own,
Speaker 1: which I love. Like. We had so many fascinating conversations
Speaker 1: and he's been been a true recent source of strength. Amazing.
Speaker 1: I love hearing that. Please tell me about the first
Speaker 1: two because I got excited about Brendan and Tricia Um
Speaker 1: is amazing. She is a little bit like bohemian and Um.
Speaker 1: I was at Madison Square Garden and struggling with all
Speaker 1: sorts of things personally and professionally, and she had this
Speaker 1: big notion of like, you want to be a warrior.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, I want to be. She's like, no, no, Scott,
Speaker 1: Scot Scott sit down. I'm like, no, no no, I do
Speaker 1: want to be. She's like, no, you want to hunt
Speaker 1: and kill. I'm like, right, you know, and she's like, no,
Speaker 1: you need to grow, you need to go into that
Speaker 1: sage phase. I'm like, but I don't want to be
Speaker 1: a sage, you know. Now. I was thirty eight, okay,
Speaker 1: and she said, what, You're gonna have to get there,
Speaker 1: because if you want to lead an elite level, the
Speaker 1: reward isn't you anymore? Yeah, and that's where I am.
Speaker 1: I told her, I sent her notes every once in
Speaker 1: a while that I found it, you know, and she
Speaker 1: always sends me funny ones back. But I now get
Speaker 1: my joy. My win is seeing someone become a vice
Speaker 1: president for the first time, or leave me and go
Speaker 1: run an incredible company and be an extraordinary leader. Or
Speaker 1: you know someone that goes and can change the world
Speaker 1: in their world, or you know someone who leaves me
Speaker 1: and goes and builds this incredible foundation and is changing
Speaker 1: things in the world. That is now my killer, my win.
Speaker 1: So I think she I hope she would say she's
Speaker 1: proud that I just didn't go in her pace. Yes,
Speaker 1: but that always stuck in my mind and I had
Speaker 1: some classic fight back and arguments and pushback with her
Speaker 1: and she I remember her saying, Scott, you need to meditate,
Speaker 1: and like the sweetest, smartest tough woman, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't sit still for five seconds. Stop telling me
Speaker 1: to meditate. Help me with my job, you know. And
Speaker 1: of course I learned how to meditate over time because
Speaker 1: I need to find stillness and peace and it helps
Speaker 1: me sleep, helps me go to sleep, and helps me
Speaker 1: live better. And so she was a wonderful source. And
Speaker 1: Spencer Whole, who's been a longtime friend as well, great guy,
Speaker 1: smart guy, and he helped me on two transitions. And
Speaker 1: I think I think transitions are hard for people. You know,
Speaker 1: I've been out of work, out of luck and out
Speaker 1: of money, and I've been out of work and really comfortable,
Speaker 1: and I like the latter a lot better than the former.
Speaker 1: But when you go on these walkabouts in life, you
Speaker 1: have an opportunity to step back, see the world for
Speaker 1: what it is, reflect back on the decisions you made,
Speaker 1: why you made them, the impact they had, good and bad,
Speaker 1: the lessons you learned, the people you meant, and you
Speaker 1: just have this overwhelming sense of gratitude for life, even
Speaker 1: the mistakes you made, because they taught you such valuable lessons.
Speaker 1: And then you get to take all that in and
Speaker 1: look forward and say why am I doing It's actually
Speaker 1: my wife said, like, Scott, why do you do this?
Speaker 1: Because every time I leave a job, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: never doing this, like every time, and she's like, okay,
Speaker 1: but why do you do what you do? I said, well,
Speaker 1: I want to help I want to help develop the
Speaker 1: next generation of great leaders, and I want to build
Speaker 1: a platform so I can leave the world better and
Speaker 1: I found it, and I want to help my church
Speaker 1: quite frankly grow and so and she's like, well, that's
Speaker 1: why you're in these platforms. I'm like, yes, that's why
Speaker 1: I'm in these platforms. And so that's why I keep
Speaker 1: signing up, you know, And I keep getting the rush
Speaker 1: and going through the pain and the fun and the
Speaker 1: exhilaration and the torture and all that together. But it's
Speaker 1: these walkabouts, these years, like the year that you take off,
Speaker 1: that really gives you that freedom that most people don't
Speaker 1: have in life. And I know I'm blessed to have
Speaker 1: that opportunity to go do it, but that that's the
Speaker 1: time I'm in now, and I feel like I'm fresh
Speaker 1: and different and in my version of a zen state
Speaker 1: that I can actually see the world as it is.
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. And while you were
Speaker 1: sharing that, the thing I was thinking about was when
Speaker 1: you look at the sage versus the original mindset as
Speaker 1: you as you put it in a warrior Warrior and
Speaker 1: it's it's like that hunt and kill changes to seek
Speaker 1: and grow. Yes, and seek and grow doesn't sound attractive,
Speaker 1: like when you want to be a warrior, right, Like
Speaker 1: when you want to be a warrior, seek and grow
Speaker 1: it's like a much rather hunt and kill. But we
Speaker 1: realized hunt and kill, if you even look at those words,
Speaker 1: they will lead to an and terrible they're aggressive. But
Speaker 1: when you were when you went to become a monk
Speaker 1: at first, Like what I was surprised when I was
Speaker 1: reading reading Think like a Monk was that you had
Speaker 1: a struggle because I know people see you as like
Speaker 1: you know, it's like your sister's coming on me, Like, okay,
Speaker 1: have it all figured out? Like I do this. I
Speaker 1: coached the stars, I you know, have this incredible influence
Speaker 1: and podcasts Like is that something you anticipated and expected
Speaker 1: or did that surprise you when you were there and
Speaker 1: went through that struggle. My whole life is a surprise
Speaker 1: to me. I'd say, everything's been a surprise. I never
Speaker 1: thought I would become a monk. If someone told me
Speaker 1: two years ago before I became a monk, not two
Speaker 1: years ago, I'd say, if someone told me eighteen, I
Speaker 1: decided twenty one twenty two, I became a monk. So
Speaker 1: if if someone told me it's sixteen, Jay, one day
Speaker 1: you're going to be a monk, I would have probably
Speaker 1: thrown a bottle of alcoholism, like you know, like that's
Speaker 1: that's the state I would have been in, because that's
Speaker 1: how I wasn't sixteen. And then when I became a monk,
Speaker 1: it was hard because living with that level of discipline
Speaker 1: isn't easy for anyone, especially just an average kid from
Speaker 1: London who's not grown up with that level of military
Speaker 1: style discipline, which is what a monastery is. And then
Speaker 1: to leave it all to come back, I mean I
Speaker 1: thought my life was over. Then when I came back,
Speaker 1: I was just like, well, that's it. I guess. I
Speaker 1: guess I'm just going to figure out how to pay
Speaker 1: the bills and life's going to go on. Because all
Speaker 1: the feedback I had from everyone was just like who
Speaker 1: cares that you were a monk and what's that got
Speaker 1: to do with anything? And what transferable skills do you have?
Speaker 1: You can sit still and be silent, like our company
Speaker 1: doesn't need that, And so it was it was fear
Speaker 1: and insecurity and doubt at every step. And so today
Speaker 1: when I get to do all the cool stuff you said.
Speaker 1: I just feel blessed every day and grateful. And of
Speaker 1: course there's been strategy, and of course, of course there has,
Speaker 1: but I'm saying that the initial seed of that. But
Speaker 1: when you were a monk, yes, and you're like, you know,
Speaker 1: they said like, no, you need to do X, and
Speaker 1: you're like it felt like in your book like times
Speaker 1: you roll your eyes like, oh, yeah, I did again,
Speaker 1: I did. I did, because but that's your version of
Speaker 1: the warrior face, right, yes, yes, And I think I
Speaker 1: still have that, and that's partly why I had to leave.
Speaker 1: And what I've realized is that some of us don't
Speaker 1: have it naturally, and some of us have to engage
Speaker 1: it for a higher purpose, to purify it. So not
Speaker 1: everyone can just give up. The rebel like I would say,
Speaker 1: the rebel is very much part of my DNA. I
Speaker 1: have that some of that. Yeah, I'm a rebel, like
Speaker 1: even more than a warrior. I'm a rebel like warrior
Speaker 1: still feels like you want to. I never wanted to
Speaker 1: beat anyone else. I'm just a rebel. I don't like
Speaker 1: going with the flow, and I want to go against
Speaker 1: the grain. And I think I know how to do
Speaker 1: things differently, but that doesn't make me better or worse
Speaker 1: than anyone I've I've always seen it as me. But
Speaker 1: I realized that I had to engage the rebel in
Speaker 1: the service of humanity, to purify the rebel, to try
Speaker 1: and aspire to be a stage. Whereas if you try
Speaker 1: and what was often called in the monk society as
Speaker 1: monkey renunciation. So what that means is monkey detachment. Is
Speaker 1: if you offer a monkey at banana, it will give
Speaker 1: you whatever it has, and then if you offer it
Speaker 1: a credit card, it will trade you back the banana.
Speaker 1: And then if you give it this so the monkey
Speaker 1: will keep swapping with you because it doesn't really know
Speaker 1: what it wants and it doesn't matter. It will just
Speaker 1: give it up without thinking about it. And as humans,
Speaker 1: sometimes we feel forced to give up who we are,
Speaker 1: as opposed to saying well, let me engage us and
Speaker 1: use my skills to help people. Like it's like you
Speaker 1: saying or I'm just going to go off and become
Speaker 1: a monk at thirty eight, instead of building what you've
Speaker 1: built and now getting to have the impact through your book,
Speaker 1: your work, the Mozambique work that you get to have.
Speaker 1: That's your journey, you know. When I sit down with
Speaker 1: they were teachers like there there's a point where the Beatles.
Speaker 1: There were members of the Beatles that wanted to become monks,
Speaker 1: and their teachers told them, your journey is to make
Speaker 1: spiritual music. Your identity is to share the message of
Speaker 1: God through your music. Your destiny is not to become
Speaker 1: a monk. You're going to rob millions of people of
Speaker 1: the impact that you could have. And that's the same
Speaker 1: with you if you traded air teams. Right, Does that
Speaker 1: makes sense? Yes? So I basically so for me, it's
Speaker 1: been that journey of purifying my impurities by giving them
Speaker 1: in service, trying to use them for something better than
Speaker 1: your stuff. So that's always been the philosophy of the
Speaker 1: of the monkhood that I studied in, which was don't
Speaker 1: force people to change who they are and become someone
Speaker 1: they're not. Get them to use who they are for
Speaker 1: helping and serving others, and the world will become a
Speaker 1: special players. Right. So there's this concept in the book
Speaker 1: called WM Yes, I love it. Yeah, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: And Brandon says that Brendon by Short. He says that
Speaker 1: high performers spent sixty five percent of their time on
Speaker 1: the three things that matter most at work? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so I brought in that a little bit, and I say,
Speaker 1: like work, yes, we should talk about work, but what
Speaker 1: about your home, Like what matters most you at home?
Speaker 1: What about your relationships? What are those three key relationships?
Speaker 1: And then at work what are those three things that matter?
Speaker 1: And I went through the audits. Okay, so oh it's
Speaker 1: all painful. Okay, So you go through, you take your calendar,
Speaker 1: and then you map, okay, where am I spending my time?
Speaker 1: And the reason I add the personal stuff is because,
Speaker 1: especially with COVID, the line between work and home and
Speaker 1: home and work, or work home and church, or work
Speaker 1: home and play and church, it's all the same. It's
Speaker 1: just like life. And so we have to be more disciplined,
Speaker 1: we have to be more organized, and we have to
Speaker 1: learn the magic word of no, which is very hard
Speaker 1: for me because I'm a people pleaser. But I go
Speaker 1: through my audit and I'm at twenty three percent, and
Speaker 1: I always embarrassed to tell him, like I didn't, I
Speaker 1: just buried it. But but then I just asked myself,
Speaker 1: like I said, like, okay, I got a choice twenty
Speaker 1: three percent. At home, twenty three percent of my calendar
Speaker 1: was spent on what I I said, which is what
Speaker 1: he said. Yeah, Okay, that's not great. I literally am
Speaker 1: like talking to myself and I'm saying, okay, I neither
Speaker 1: you to change what's on this paper or change the
Speaker 1: way I do do. So my question for you is
Speaker 1: is how do you with all the demands on your
Speaker 1: time and polls? Because I imagine you could speak anywhere
Speaker 1: you want to, whenever you want. You probably get thirty
Speaker 1: calls a week to go speak somewhere you got probably
Speaker 1: you could do TV, you could do a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of things. How do you focus on what's most important
Speaker 1: to you? I fail it all the time. That's the
Speaker 1: honest concept. It's so hard. It's it's uh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so hard, isn't it. It's I agree with you. It's
Speaker 1: so hard to say no because I feel like there's
Speaker 1: so many transitions. So let's talk about those transitions and
Speaker 1: why it's hard to say no, because I think everyone
Speaker 1: can relate to this yes, and you can. Why don't
Speaker 1: we do? Oney, you tell me why you think it's
Speaker 1: hard to say no, and I'll tell you why I
Speaker 1: think it's hard to say no. So I'll start and
Speaker 1: then we'll go back and forth. I think one of
Speaker 1: the reasons why it's hard to say no is because
Speaker 1: at one point in time, that would have been something
Speaker 1: you died for. Some of the opportunities I have today
Speaker 1: that come my way that I have the now, the
Speaker 1: opportunity to say no to at one point in time
Speaker 1: I would have begged to have had that opportunity. So
Speaker 1: you feel a sense of guilt, You feel a sense
Speaker 1: of responsibility, You feel a sense of am I ungrateful?
Speaker 1: Am I now becoming? You know? Do I think I'm
Speaker 1: too good for my like I think I go through that?
Speaker 1: Does that make sense an internal struggle? I would say
Speaker 1: one for me is that I feel like I can
Speaker 1: help people, and for me to not help it feels
Speaker 1: like a tug on everything that I say. I stand
Speaker 1: for yes, and so what's simple for me might be
Speaker 1: really hard for somebody Yes, and so to say no,
Speaker 1: it's it's counter to what I who I aspire to be. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that one, and I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people can relate to that. I can
Speaker 1: definitely relate to that. I feel like that I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's only ten minutes of my time. I could make
Speaker 1: a difference to someone. It's worth it. Another reason why
Speaker 1: I struggle to say no, i'd say, is a part
Speaker 1: from your one, which I agree with you say. Another
Speaker 1: reason internal struggle of why I struggled to say no
Speaker 1: is because I do want to be liked. I was
Speaker 1: that was happy. It's the same thing, but like you
Speaker 1: do want to be like, yeah, you want you you know,
Speaker 1: And I have to monitor this and that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: The reason why I'm I'm sharing these with everyone listening
Speaker 1: is because if you haven't articulated them, it means you're
Speaker 1: not aware of them, right, And so if you haven't
Speaker 1: put it down on a piece of paper and you
Speaker 1: haven't written down why you struggle to say no, you
Speaker 1: don't know why you don't say so, I literally said,
Speaker 1: I just finally said, like, I'm going to eliminate informational interviews. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: Now it's like the kid that comes in. It's your
Speaker 1: friend's son or nephew or the cousin of so and so,
Speaker 1: and I just don't I said no. Yeah, And for me,
Speaker 1: can you imagine like your best friend calls you's like
Speaker 1: it's my son. Yeah. No, I'll get into somebody like
Speaker 1: can't you spend ten minutes and I'm like, no, I can't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that to me was awful. It's awful, like the
Speaker 1: feelings because I loved No. No, it's so awkward. And
Speaker 1: so now on my walk about, like my constraint is
Speaker 1: no longer time, which I'm sure if you was impossible
Speaker 1: right time. But your constraint is time yea, and mine
Speaker 1: is not anymore. So I ask you a question. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was thinking. So with me, it's not necessarily the
Speaker 1: most and I've made some mistakes on this, I'll say professionally.
Speaker 1: I made some mistakes on this because I was constantly
Speaker 1: trying to outsource the only thing I was able to do,
Speaker 1: and that was something that I probably spent too much
Speaker 1: money on in twelve months on where I was constantly
Speaker 1: trying to hire for what is my superpower? And I
Speaker 1: was hoping that I could find someone to do that
Speaker 1: so I could do more superpower stuff. But I kept
Speaker 1: trying to find someone. I kept hiring someone, and no
Speaker 1: matter how much I paid and where we looked and
Speaker 1: whatever we did, I realized it wasn't possible to outsource
Speaker 1: that specific skill, and I finally owned it and I said, well,
Speaker 1: I need to do that for myself. So I didn't
Speaker 1: make a lot of mistakes on that. But going back
Speaker 1: to your question, I see it as the three most
Speaker 1: important things, but I see them in order, so I
Speaker 1: like that, Yeah, chronological correct priority. So we had a
Speaker 1: set of rules in the monastery which I still completely
Speaker 1: connect with. And the three words one of a couple
Speaker 1: of them are Sanskrit. One of them is English, but
Speaker 1: it was health, sadener, savor. These were three words, and
Speaker 1: it was always in that order. So it was considered
Speaker 1: these are the three most important things. And the good
Speaker 1: thing is you can't do one before you finish the
Speaker 1: other one. That's the rust. And so the rule is
Speaker 1: health is first, and that includes your physical and mental
Speaker 1: and spiritual health. And you get beautiful examples of how
Speaker 1: to do that. So before you have moved in the morning,
Speaker 1: you can't do any of the others. So if you
Speaker 1: haven't done your yoga, you haven't done your tennis, you
Speaker 1: haven't done your workout, whatever it is, you can't do
Speaker 1: anything else. You're just not allowed because without you being
Speaker 1: of health, without you being of everything, you mentioned already,
Speaker 1: Who are you going to serve? What energy are you
Speaker 1: giving them? You haven't even got your own mind right?
Speaker 1: How are you going to inspire a young man no
Speaker 1: matter how whatever you have, or a young woman. The
Speaker 1: second thing was sadin. A sadiner was your personal rituals
Speaker 1: and practices, your personal eating of yourself, Like when you
Speaker 1: were going out of Mozambia. You can't build a school
Speaker 1: if you haven't worked on your own fitness and you
Speaker 1: haven't eaten a meal. How long are you gonna last?
Speaker 1: So the second thing was once you've made you your
Speaker 1: body and mind are right? Have you prepared your soul
Speaker 1: exactly as you said? Have you prepared your consciousness? Have
Speaker 1: you prepared you should have RESI should have been a teacher.
Speaker 1: Have you prepared your intended? And the final savor is service,
Speaker 1: that's the final. Giving to others is the final. Not
Speaker 1: that it's the least important, it's the most important. If
Speaker 1: you look at any tree around you, if it wasn't
Speaker 1: watered properly, if it wasn't taking care of properly, you
Speaker 1: look up, it's got no fruits. What fruits are you
Speaker 1: given to people? Giving people rotten fruits and that's where
Speaker 1: you start. So it's not that service is the least important,
Speaker 1: it's the most important, and therefore you to water the
Speaker 1: roots world. So for me, that's how I think about
Speaker 1: what's most important is by first taking care of the
Speaker 1: first two so that the third can be done to
Speaker 1: its best. But don't say yes to an opportunity for
Speaker 1: the third before you've done the first too. Does that
Speaker 1: make sense? It makes so much sense that it reminds
Speaker 1: me of the story. There's this tree, tree of Tennaree.
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of it? No? I okay, Sara desert.
Speaker 1: This tree lives to be three hundred and fifty years old.
Speaker 1: It used to be a wooded area, but then the
Speaker 1: climate changed and became a desert, and only one tree survived,
Speaker 1: the tree of Tennaree, and the routes went down hundreds
Speaker 1: of feet into this little watering hole and it stay.
Speaker 1: And then unfortunately, like it was on maps, because there
Speaker 1: was the one tree, you know, hundreds of miles around
Speaker 1: and a driver came with a truck and hit it
Speaker 1: and knocked it over and that was it for the tree.
Speaker 1: And then I always contrast that with Pando, and Pando
Speaker 1: is the second largest living organism in the world. Eighty
Speaker 1: thousand tree it's in Utah in the US, eighty thousand
Speaker 1: trees and it's been around for seventy thousand years. So
Speaker 1: here's one tree, okay that can survive for three hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty years in ridiculous conditions. And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's incredible. But then one driver outdone. See you later, Sionara.
Speaker 1: That was seventy thousand trees and they share a common
Speaker 1: root system. Yeah, okay, I wass think about that when
Speaker 1: you when you were saying that, I just kept thinking, Pando, Pando,
Speaker 1: Pando kept going to mind, because we need each other, yeah,
Speaker 1: and we need people and we need to connect. And
Speaker 1: that that to me is like, you know, that is
Speaker 1: the secret sauce today in a world where isolation is
Speaker 1: our kryptonite. The connectivity of roots and the connectivity of people,
Speaker 1: and how you Jay Shetty are able to bring us
Speaker 1: together through a common language and that your Monks three
Speaker 1: step processed. I mean, it's so it's it's pure, it's genius,
Speaker 1: and it's so intuitive experience and even what you're writing
Speaker 1: about in the book, what you just said, you today
Speaker 1: have more of a luxury of time in your life today. Yes,
Speaker 1: obviously that wasn't how it was at all. I do
Speaker 1: not have a luxury of time, and at this current
Speaker 1: stage in my life as a monk, I did more.
Speaker 1: So for sure. What I've realized is time is the
Speaker 1: wrong metric and the wrong divisible So we divide our
Speaker 1: life by time. We say, Okay, I need time with
Speaker 1: my family, I need time with my partner, I need
Speaker 1: time with Scot, I need time with this, I need
Speaker 1: time with that. And I realized a few years ago,
Speaker 1: no one wanted my time. Everyone wanted my presence, and
Speaker 1: everyone wanted my energy. So if I could give ten
Speaker 1: minutes of my time but one hundred percent of my energy,
Speaker 1: that's what someone wanted. And I started changing how I
Speaker 1: looked at it, looking at the ratio of my energy
Speaker 1: versus my time and saying how much time can I give?
Speaker 1: Add one hundred percent energy? And sometimes the time went
Speaker 1: down to sixty seconds, And that was fine because I
Speaker 1: realized that people would rather have one hundred percent of
Speaker 1: my energy then one percent of my energy and a
Speaker 1: one hundred percent of my time giving someone an hour
Speaker 1: being on my phone all the time. As you were saying,
Speaker 1: when you go with your friends. No one wants that.
Speaker 1: No one wants to see me and you both on
Speaker 1: our phones right now and have a couple of questions
Speaker 1: about you. But people want to hear us have presents,
Speaker 1: right Jake. That's why I say, be where your feet are,
Speaker 1: not balance? If you're how do I find balance? I'm like,
Speaker 1: let's let's talk about It's the first question I get.
Speaker 1: It's particularly with young people. I talk to high school
Speaker 1: kids or college Your kids are asking that question. Everyone's
Speaker 1: worry everyone I find balance. I'm like, get to work.
Speaker 1: But I literally say, like, I think about my life
Speaker 1: and I think about home. Well, how do you have
Speaker 1: such a good, strong relationship. You seem focused on your
Speaker 1: faith and your family and work, and how do you
Speaker 1: do it? I was like, Hey, here's the thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's talk about life. Let's talk about real life. Not
Speaker 1: you know the Huxtables on TV. Let's talk about real
Speaker 1: real life. Okay, this is what real life looks like
Speaker 1: for me. I get up in the morning. It's chaos.
Speaker 1: I call it a tournament. We're just surviving in advance.
Speaker 1: We are trying to get out the door without a
Speaker 1: nuclear mountdown. You borrow my shirt. I can't find you
Speaker 1: in charge of my computer. All that crap. The girls
Speaker 1: good to school. Okay, how many meaningful moments can I
Speaker 1: have at that point? How about zero? I have to
Speaker 1: be okay with that because it's not happening. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: one can't get out of bed, the other ones up
Speaker 1: at five in the morning. I mean it is, you know,
Speaker 1: it's chaos. Then I got to work. They go to school,
Speaker 1: They've got cheerleading, and they've got basketball. They've got boyfriends,
Speaker 1: which we do not want to talk about ever. We
Speaker 1: have homework, I have work, I had events. We come home.
Speaker 1: They how much time? Talk about energy? How do how
Speaker 1: do I be present? How much time do you have?
Speaker 1: Forty five minutes? Your family, the people you say you
Speaker 1: love most, that matter most in your life an hour,
Speaker 1: two hours, and your luckiest person in the world. So
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do with that one hour? And
Speaker 1: I say, let's create some meaningful moments, Let's create a memory,
Speaker 1: Let's have a real conversation. And by the way, it's
Speaker 1: great today. There's so many things to talk about. The
Speaker 1: world is falling apart. We have social unrest, we have
Speaker 1: challenges to the core of faith and the church in
Speaker 1: this country. We have the education system, we have a
Speaker 1: political system that's a complete adventure. We be gil with
Speaker 1: global citizens. We have all these topics, and we can
Speaker 1: talk to our children or you know what we can do,
Speaker 1: write them a love letter, or you know what we
Speaker 1: can do, tell them three things you really want them
Speaker 1: to remember, or you know what we can do, tell
Speaker 1: them everything you ever wanted to tell them but haven't
Speaker 1: spent the time yet, because those moments are what they
Speaker 1: will remember and will matter. Go on a family walk. Oh,
Speaker 1: it took an hour, and we actually left our phones
Speaker 1: in the house and we went to go walk for
Speaker 1: forty five minutes that time. That's what we have to protect.
Speaker 1: That's what we have to put our energy and effort on.
Speaker 1: That's where our attention should go. This notion of balance.
Speaker 1: What are we gonna do sitting around watching reruns or
Speaker 1: binging on Netflix, or sitting around watching a show, typing
Speaker 1: on our eyepads, messing around on our phone and eating liquorice? Okay,
Speaker 1: because that's what life looks like. Yeah, it's like me,
Speaker 1: it's like be president of the notion of energy. Over time,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna steal that. Yeah, No, it's it's been game
Speaker 1: changing for me. I obviously I don't have children yet,
Speaker 1: so I'll have to come take notes from me, my
Speaker 1: wife and I. One of the things we did, especially
Speaker 1: as things were taking off for me, I started new
Speaker 1: routine with her where every thirty days. I realized that
Speaker 1: the notion of what you just said, if you're lucky
Speaker 1: of two hours a day to spend with the people
Speaker 1: you love the most, and that's the same with me.
Speaker 1: When when life was, when I was putting in the
Speaker 1: work and I was working eighteen hours a day to
Speaker 1: build everything that we have today, it I didn't have
Speaker 1: that luxury of time with her. So every thirty days,
Speaker 1: we would take three days and we'd go away together,
Speaker 1: somewhere three hours away from where we live. We'd packed
Speaker 1: the car, drive up, get a bed and breakfast, get
Speaker 1: an airbnb, get a small motel, hotel, whatever whatever you
Speaker 1: could afford, and we'd be there for two nights and
Speaker 1: three days and we would lock our phones in the
Speaker 1: safe and we'd just spend time together. That's wonderful. And
Speaker 1: I realized that doing those three days every month had
Speaker 1: a bigger impact on our relationship then if we sat
Speaker 1: in front of the TV every day for two hours.
Speaker 1: It just didn't It didn't compare because of what you
Speaker 1: just said that making a memory, making an experience, that's
Speaker 1: what we all want in life. No one's going to
Speaker 1: count and be like, Dad, I know you spent ten
Speaker 1: hours with me this week. No one's counting that. There's
Speaker 1: no no one's keeping a clock of that. But my
Speaker 1: wife remembers, all remember that weekend we're going to spamp Springs,
Speaker 1: Or remember when we went to Temecula and we rode
Speaker 1: those e bikes around for the whole day. Or do
Speaker 1: you remember when we went up and we went to
Speaker 1: Santa Barbara and we just walked on the beach like
Speaker 1: those are the things you remember? Yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 1: And they weren't expensive, none of those expensive. Or they
Speaker 1: were all free walk by. Here's a here's a real
Speaker 1: free one you can add, go for it. We have
Speaker 1: my wife and I. When things are good and we're
Speaker 1: we're in our in our zone, we go on one
Speaker 1: walk a week that we call non transactional nice think
Speaker 1: about like life is transactional and non transactional transactionalists. Okay,
Speaker 1: we got the kids out of this, she's got practice. O.
Speaker 1: There's a game on Tuesday. Okay, okay, what do we
Speaker 1: do on us Friday? None of that. We just talk
Speaker 1: and we stay in the moment and we stay present.
Speaker 1: And when we do that, I feel like our relationship
Speaker 1: is more solid, we are more grounded, and we're more connected.
Speaker 1: And it's our version of your three day trip, which
Speaker 1: I'm non transactional. I love that. That's and that's hard,
Speaker 1: I'm sure with kids, yes, that's harder. And harder is
Speaker 1: you have more people to talk about and their lives
Speaker 1: and their minds and their challenges and their boyfriends that
Speaker 1: you will not be mentioned. Yes, all that kind of
Speaker 1: stuff like that gets harder. I'm sure. How do you
Speaker 1: how do you honored the time so that you don't
Speaker 1: get distracted? I find it so easy to you say that,
Speaker 1: But then when you get there, you just got off
Speaker 1: a phone or you you spoke to How do you
Speaker 1: really honored that? How have you found how have you
Speaker 1: tried to do that best? The best thing for me
Speaker 1: is is absence. I leave my phone in the house,
Speaker 1: right Yeah, And I know that sounds crazy, And I
Speaker 1: wish I were more disciplined, and I wish I could
Speaker 1: keep in my back pocket and walk for forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: I don't have to. I don't have the I do
Speaker 1: not have the gear. I don't so I'll leave it
Speaker 1: if we go to dinner and I know I need
Speaker 1: to focus. Stays in the car now, So I'm the
Speaker 1: same right now, I would never leave my phone in
Speaker 1: the car. Why where's it going? What are you missing?
Speaker 1: What is your ESPN notification telling you? What is the
Speaker 1: TikTok video you're gonna miss? What's the text you're gonna miss?
Speaker 1: What's the CNN notification? It's okay, you will be okay.
Speaker 1: The world will move on without you. You are okay,
Speaker 1: You're not going to miss anything. I think we just
Speaker 1: have to be where our feet are. We have to
Speaker 1: just like it goes back to something that you said,
Speaker 1: more what is your intention? And can we be more
Speaker 1: intentional about what we are and how we live and
Speaker 1: be more grounded? Scott, I could talk to you for hours, genuinely,
Speaker 1: this has been so much fun. And I count podcasts
Speaker 1: now as I do them more and more, and as
Speaker 1: we've done them for a couple of years, and interviews.
Speaker 1: I count when I'm having fun on a podcast as
Speaker 1: the best indicator of a good conversation and I've had
Speaker 1: so much fun today. And I also know and I
Speaker 1: just saw the cluck when I was looking at I
Speaker 1: was like, we're about to be our record of this
Speaker 1: is in the top three longest episode you've ever done.
Speaker 1: That is fun when you don't look at the time.
Speaker 1: But I want to encourage everyone, and what you just
Speaker 1: said now was such a beautiful note. Encourage everyone who's
Speaker 1: listening to go and grab a copy of Be Where
Speaker 1: Your Feet Are Seven principles to keep you present, grounded,
Speaker 1: and thriving. We have not even touched some of my
Speaker 1: favorite chapters in the book. Like, we haven't even gone
Speaker 1: over the concepts of some of my favorite chapters in
Speaker 1: the book. We've touched a lot of a lot of
Speaker 1: my favorite ones, but there are still some more and
Speaker 1: we have just scratched the surface on what's really inside
Speaker 1: this book, what Scott has to offer. And Scott, I'm
Speaker 1: hoping that not everyone, not only does everyone read your book,
Speaker 1: I hope everyone goes and follows you. I hope everyone
Speaker 1: stays connected with your journey and story like I'm excited
Speaker 1: to do. I would hope that we turn this podcast
Speaker 1: into a long friendship. I've learned so much from you today.
Speaker 1: I've I've deeply enjoyed your company, and I can't wait
Speaker 1: to meet your Eliza, fourteen year old daughter who's taught
Speaker 1: me so much in such simple ways. But I highly
Speaker 1: recommend we'll have the link in the caption and everywhere
Speaker 1: please go and grab a copy of B Where your
Speaker 1: Feet Are. I couldn't recommend it more highly. As you know, Scott,
Speaker 1: we end every episode with five fast five final five questions.
Speaker 1: These questions have to be answered in one word to
Speaker 1: one sentence maximum, So if you're ready, Scott, we'll do
Speaker 1: what's You're fast? Five? All right, So the first question
Speaker 1: I have for you is what is the best advice
Speaker 1: you've ever received? Be present? What is the worst advice
Speaker 1: you've ever received? Money never sleeps? What's the first thing
Speaker 1: you do in the morning and the last thing you
Speaker 1: do at night? First thing I do in the morning
Speaker 1: is say my prayers. Last thing I do at night
Speaker 1: is say my prayers. Beautiful. I love that. What a
Speaker 1: what a great life. That's so simple as well, patterns
Speaker 1: are great. Okay, Question number four, how would you describe
Speaker 1: your current purpose in life at this stage of your life?
Speaker 1: My current purpose in life is to help develop leaders,
Speaker 1: whole mind, body, soul, leaders both personally and professionally. I
Speaker 1: love that and I'm at it to see do that.
Speaker 1: I think this book is going to be the manual
Speaker 1: for leaders. I really do. I really believe you because
Speaker 1: it's about who you are and it's what you've done,
Speaker 1: but it's how you show up and it's I love
Speaker 1: how simple you've made it yet how profound it is.
Speaker 1: And I think that balances is exactly what's needed. And
Speaker 1: the fact that you've sat in those meetings, board meetings,
Speaker 1: phone calls that have caused you so much stress and
Speaker 1: anxiety and found that the answers and antidotes are actually
Speaker 1: the amazing principles that you've laid out in this book.
Speaker 1: I really think it's going to be a manual for leaders.
Speaker 1: So thank you. This has been a gift. You are
Speaker 1: a gift to the world, and it's no accident that
Speaker 1: this is the number one podcast for your health. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you. And I've got one more question, final one.
Speaker 1: If you could create one law that everyone in the
Speaker 1: world had to follow, what would it be be nice
Speaker 1: to each other? That had been amazing law. I really
Speaker 1: hope that everyone does try and follow that. Then when
Speaker 1: it's really hard, just be nice and smile and take
Speaker 1: care of each other and serve others and love others,
Speaker 1: and assume positive intent make the world better. There's too
Speaker 1: much angst in this world and you have to do
Speaker 1: your part. And if we all do our little part,
Speaker 1: life gets better for everybody. I love that everyone. Scott O'Neil,
Speaker 1: please go and get the book be where your feet are,
Speaker 1: seven principles to get you present, grounded and thriving. Will
Speaker 1: have all the links and go and follow Scott across
Speaker 1: social media. And what I really want you to do,
Speaker 1: as you know, I love it when you do this.
Speaker 1: I want you to tag me in Scott on any
Speaker 1: platform you're using, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, whatever you're on, and
Speaker 1: I want you to tell us what Scott said that's
Speaker 1: going to resonate with you that you're going to practice,
Speaker 1: Maybe what Eliza said, maybe what his wife said, whoever
Speaker 1: said it, I want to know. Please tag me in
Speaker 1: him on your posts. I'd love to see him feel
Speaker 1: all the love for this next phase, the next chapter
Speaker 1: that he's doing in his life of going out to
Speaker 1: help build conscious leaders. Scott was so grateful to have
Speaker 1: had you on on purpose and I'm really really happy
Speaker 1: that we spend this time together, so thank you so much,
Speaker 1: thank you