1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,400
Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's

2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,520
Speaker 1: Edge Podcast with Kelly Henderson. Okay, Jaguiar is how I

3
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,400
Speaker 1: would say your name, but you say it, say it

4
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:18,159
Speaker 1: how you say it, Jaguar. It sounds fancier when you

5
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,520
Speaker 1: say it. But you're a holistic therapist, which is actually

6
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 1: really interesting to me because I feel like these words

7
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,360
Speaker 1: together are being used so much more frequently. Like we've

8
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,800
Speaker 1: always had, you know, maybe the mental health community that

9
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:35,120
Speaker 1: was therapy and psychiatrist, but now we're combining the holistic

10
00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,040
Speaker 1: approach to that. Can you kind of talk through what

11
00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:43,680
Speaker 1: the difference between like regular therapy and holistic therapy would be. Yeah,

12
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,879
Speaker 1: So I was going to get into that because I

13
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,159
Speaker 1: get asked that a lot, and I only use that

14
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,319
Speaker 1: definition because it gives people access to me. Okay, so

15
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,560
Speaker 1: I'm more what I call myself as a linguistic physicist, right,

16
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,040
Speaker 1: But if I say, like, I'm a linguistic physicist, people

17
00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,360
Speaker 1: are gonna go, what's that like? Doesn't it doesn't really?

18
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:06,200
Speaker 1: It inspires questioning, but it doesn't inspire an automatic association.

19
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,920
Speaker 1: So traditional therapists, for my definition, would be like a

20
00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:14,040
Speaker 1: psychotherapist someone has studied like psychoanalysis or you know, Youngian

21
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,920
Speaker 1: psychology is in more the traditional branch of psychology, which

22
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,880
Speaker 1: that world is. In my opinion, it's good, but it's

23
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 1: not very effective. It's been around for a long time,

24
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,040
Speaker 1: and if it was that good, it would have ended

25
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,080
Speaker 1: all the trauma that certain generations have experienced and then

26
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,399
Speaker 1: we wouldn't need it anymore. And this is what I

27
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,720
Speaker 1: say to people. I was on a podcast last night

28
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,480
Speaker 1: and the guy goes, what's your ultimate goal? And I

29
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,280
Speaker 1: said to have no clients. And he was like what,

30
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,360
Speaker 1: And I said, yeah, to have no clients, because that

31
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:45,320
Speaker 1: means everyone's healed. And so that's when an industry is

32
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:49,480
Speaker 1: really effective, is because it takes the approach of fixing

33
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,400
Speaker 1: things completely, getting to the root cause, ripping the root

34
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,640
Speaker 1: cause out, rather than dealing with symptoms. So I feel

35
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,640
Speaker 1: like the traditional therapy world deals with the symptoms and

36
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:03,680
Speaker 1: the problems. Holistic therapy, I think, isn't boxed into one

37
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,600
Speaker 1: type of dynamic like cognitive behavioral therapy or internal family

38
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,040
Speaker 1: these systems ifs is pretty good actually, but focusing on

39
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,480
Speaker 1: one modality like psychiatry, which is diagnostic in its approach,

40
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,359
Speaker 1: and you know, we medicate people as a result of that.

41
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,400
Speaker 1: So holistic, I think is being able to take something

42
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,920
Speaker 1: much more broader and look at everything rather than just

43
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:31,080
Speaker 1: one element. You know, it might be diet, lifestyle, movement, sleep, meditation, breathwork, yoga. Language,

44
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,720
Speaker 1: Like my world is just in the specifics of language

45
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,760
Speaker 1: and physics. And so that's what I think a holistic

46
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,440
Speaker 1: therapist is more about, whereas traditional is like we look

47
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,919
Speaker 1: at one stream, we go to university or college or whatever,

48
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,040
Speaker 1: and then we just stay in that lane for our

49
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,880
Speaker 1: entire career. I mean, I've worked as psychologists and psychiatrists.

50
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,440
Speaker 1: One rings to mine the most. She was psychologists twenty

51
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,720
Speaker 1: six years and we did six sessions together and unwound

52
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,440
Speaker 1: everything that she'd gone through, and she said, you just

53
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,600
Speaker 1: made me realize I wasted twenty six years of my

54
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:04,800
Speaker 1: life and a psychologist because I'm not limited to you know,

55
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,520
Speaker 1: the old frameworks, which can be helpful for some people.

56
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,919
Speaker 1: But I compare that's two in this way, said, most

57
00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:14,480
Speaker 1: people are just trimming the branches of fear, where I

58
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,960
Speaker 1: just go in and rip the root, rip it out

59
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,840
Speaker 1: at the root so it doesn't come back. And that's

60
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,280
Speaker 1: what I think the embodying a holistic approach really really

61
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,840
Speaker 1: sort of personifies the definition through I love that it's

62
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,200
Speaker 1: being applied to the therapeutic healing process now because it's

63
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,799
Speaker 1: the same as like western medicine, you know, like I

64
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,920
Speaker 1: don't like to take medicine, and that's always been my

65
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,320
Speaker 1: big things, Like they give you a pill and then

66
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,440
Speaker 1: it creates all these other problems and you maybe it

67
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,440
Speaker 1: takes away the symptoms of that one issue, but you

68
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,920
Speaker 1: have all these other symptoms now, and so I'm always like, well,

69
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 1: what's the cause? And you know, in most cases with

70
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,960
Speaker 1: our bodies, it feels like inflammation is the cause of everything,

71
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 1: and so um, if you can get to the root

72
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,880
Speaker 1: of why that's happening in your body, then you actually

73
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,800
Speaker 1: are healing versus just like covering up the symptoms. And

74
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,560
Speaker 1: it's the same thing with the mind. And I think

75
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,080
Speaker 1: that's so so so interesting. I'm so glad that people

76
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:05,480
Speaker 1: are like you are starting to explore that route. Yeah, yeah,

77
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,560
Speaker 1: thank you for that reflection and for the kind words

78
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,360
Speaker 1: as well, because it's so important if you really break

79
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,680
Speaker 1: it down, and this is where linguistics and physics come

80
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,360
Speaker 1: into play. Words are a vibration when you speak, you know,

81
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,479
Speaker 1: I mean the old yogis they did chanting right, So

82
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:24,360
Speaker 1: it's on like that. When you sit in the vibration

83
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,040
Speaker 1: of ONM, you can feel it vibrating up through the

84
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,920
Speaker 1: vegus and over and not the spine into the head.

85
00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,000
Speaker 1: Words are a vibration. We live in a physics based universe.

86
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,440
Speaker 1: What we vibrate through our subconscious conversations are going to

87
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,520
Speaker 1: start to bring this in again and again and again.

88
00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:39,880
Speaker 1: We can't help but attract that because that's who we

89
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,320
Speaker 1: are in that moment. And so when we're looking at inflammation,

90
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,000
Speaker 1: we look at the word information. It's been flamed, which

91
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,120
Speaker 1: means on fire. So there's too much heat in the system.

92
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,960
Speaker 1: An anagram for heat is hate. Okay, when we're in

93
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,360
Speaker 1: an internal state of hate, we're in an internal state

94
00:04:55,360 --> 00:05:02,760
Speaker 1: of conflict. Conflict generates resistance. Resistance produces friction. Friction generates

95
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,320
Speaker 1: a massive amount of heat in the body. Heat's going

96
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,479
Speaker 1: to want to leave the body through the channels which

97
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,600
Speaker 1: heat needs to leave, which is a liver, gold bladder, eyes,

98
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,960
Speaker 1: and skin. And so when I look at someone that's

99
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,480
Speaker 1: got an autoimmune issue, they say the body attacks itself.

100
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,760
Speaker 1: The body doesn't attack itself. What happens is I look

101
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 1: at the psychological component and you'll see that the person

102
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,880
Speaker 1: is psychologically attacking themselves. Thus, the body is responding to

103
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:29,480
Speaker 1: the psychological conditions that it's creating for the physiological symptoms

104
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,080
Speaker 1: to show up. I use a metaphor of like if

105
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,400
Speaker 1: you're watching a storm coming over the ocean. Now, if

106
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,560
Speaker 1: this storm is very chaotic and we liken the storm

107
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,719
Speaker 1: to the mind, the water, which is the body, is

108
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,719
Speaker 1: going to replicate and reflect the intensitive the energy with

109
00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,960
Speaker 1: which it's in dance with or relationship with to the storm.

110
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,080
Speaker 1: So if it's super chaotic, the water is just going

111
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,839
Speaker 1: to be very chaotic as well. So if our minds chaotic,

112
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,760
Speaker 1: it's going to produce chaotic results in the body. It's

113
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,880
Speaker 1: actually in perfect many for the conditions that we're creating.

114
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,320
Speaker 1: And every time I work with someone with all our

115
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:09,200
Speaker 1: immune issues, I'll pull apart their psychological condition and guess

116
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,160
Speaker 1: what they're doing. They're just attacking themselves psychologically. And this

117
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,640
Speaker 1: is the power of physics and words in this equation,

118
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,560
Speaker 1: What do you mean attacking yourself psychologically? Like critical voices

119
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,279
Speaker 1: and just talking to yourself poorly, that kind of thing,

120
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:27,480
Speaker 1: self hatred, self hatred like heat. Heat is an anagram

121
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,280
Speaker 1: for hate, right, So when someone hates themselves, they're going

122
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,960
Speaker 1: to produce a lot of heat in the system. Anger

123
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,000
Speaker 1: and rage self directed at the two hottest emotions. It's

124
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,479
Speaker 1: why when you see someone raging in a cartoon, the

125
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,520
Speaker 1: head's hot and steam is coming out of the ears.

126
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,200
Speaker 1: It's because heat rises in the body, and so when

127
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,719
Speaker 1: we hate ourselves will project it outwards. But we're really

128
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,159
Speaker 1: just in a state of self hatred. You can't actually

129
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,440
Speaker 1: hate anyone else. You can only hate what you see

130
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,120
Speaker 1: in them, which is a reflection of who you are.

131
00:06:55,240 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 1: That one is a tricky line. Yeah, well, I love

132
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,000
Speaker 1: that you started your whole journey into this what I

133
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,640
Speaker 1: was reading your bio and your website. I thought it

134
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,440
Speaker 1: was really well done because you described basically a life

135
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:14,560
Speaker 1: that most people end up pursuing as the goal, like

136
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,760
Speaker 1: that a life that you should should I'm doing air quotes.

137
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,120
Speaker 1: Have been happy and felt like maybe you got everything

138
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,240
Speaker 1: that we all dream of, you know, the money, the success,

139
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,920
Speaker 1: the businesses, all of that stuff, And you said, you

140
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,080
Speaker 1: woke up one day and you just realized, like all

141
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,840
Speaker 1: of the things that you thought would make you happy,

142
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,360
Speaker 1: you just really weren't making you happy, So could you

143
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,720
Speaker 1: talk us through that period of your life, like what

144
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,120
Speaker 1: did that look like? Yeah, I mean it kind of

145
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,280
Speaker 1: escalated more and more than more money I made, the

146
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:45,040
Speaker 1: more I spent, the bigger the purchase I needed to

147
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,480
Speaker 1: try to fill the void. Because it was indirect correlation,

148
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,080
Speaker 1: so all it did was reflect back the void that

149
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,480
Speaker 1: I had within that I couldn't see, and I was

150
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,760
Speaker 1: kind of like trying to stuff it with you know,

151
00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:00,880
Speaker 1: closed cars, watches, women, drugs, alcohol, whatever it was. And

152
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,040
Speaker 1: over time, I remember there were two instances. I was

153
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,200
Speaker 1: in Mercedes and I was trading in my cars for

154
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,320
Speaker 1: a nearly half a million dollar Mercedes, and I was

155
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,560
Speaker 1: about to sign off on all the paperwork with it,

156
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,120
Speaker 1: and I just heard this voice that sort of appeared

157
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,040
Speaker 1: up here, and it drops in for me every now

158
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,720
Speaker 1: and then. I don't know, you could call it maybe

159
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,400
Speaker 1: a guide or whether it's just me in the future.

160
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't really worry about, you know,

161
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,600
Speaker 1: trying to define what it is, but it guides me.

162
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,120
Speaker 1: And I just heard it say where does this end?

163
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,400
Speaker 1: Because then I would have needed a million dollar car

164
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,480
Speaker 1: after that satisfy it. And I just pushed the paperwork

165
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,800
Speaker 1: away and I said, I'm not doing this anymore. And

166
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,120
Speaker 1: there was another time where I was driving out with

167
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:45,680
Speaker 1: a friend and I've had these marble cubes custom made.

168
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,240
Speaker 1: There were eight thousand dollars each as bedside tables, and

169
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,959
Speaker 1: I was looking out the window as she was driving

170
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,559
Speaker 1: me out there, and she just said, you're really unhappy,

171
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:58,000
Speaker 1: aren't you? And I said, no, I'm desperately miserable. I

172
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,360
Speaker 1: hate my life because I realized is that everything wasn't

173
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,240
Speaker 1: the answer that I've been told is the answer. So

174
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,840
Speaker 1: it's constantly chasing this horizon like you never actually arrived

175
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:12,480
Speaker 1: when you're trying to compensate for an internal absence of

176
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:17,640
Speaker 1: self worth by compensating using external material goods to make

177
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,120
Speaker 1: up for that. And so what I did from that point,

178
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,080
Speaker 1: I said, I need to figure out what I'm doing

179
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,600
Speaker 1: on this planet. It was just like my soul knew it,

180
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,920
Speaker 1: but I didn't know that. I didn't know it at

181
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,720
Speaker 1: the time, but I had to actually sit down and say, well,

182
00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,559
Speaker 1: I've actually got to find what it is I'm here

183
00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,160
Speaker 1: to do because I'm not fulfilled. You know, there's no

184
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,839
Speaker 1: amount of cars closing money that they're gonna make up

185
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,720
Speaker 1: for the absence of self worth that I experienced in

186
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,440
Speaker 1: that moment. And I was making big money, sometimes a

187
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,720
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars a month, you know, I had my

188
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,480
Speaker 1: gold Rolex as I was traveling the world first class

189
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,600
Speaker 1: and fifty odd countries or something like that. And all

190
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,200
Speaker 1: I was doing was the same thing in every other

191
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,120
Speaker 1: country that I was doing in Sydney, which was partying.

192
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,079
Speaker 1: I mean, my nickname was the Wolf of Wall Street

193
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,839
Speaker 1: guy in Sydney. I mean, your imagination can go well

194
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,760
Speaker 1: with that. But all that was doing was medicating a

195
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:07,280
Speaker 1: deep wound of inadequacy and fear and limitation. And I

196
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,280
Speaker 1: thought the answers were out there, but that they weren't.

197
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,480
Speaker 1: But I grew up in a in a very abusive

198
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 1: and emotionally abusive and physically abusive household, and so I

199
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,360
Speaker 1: thought I'd be able to get people to love me

200
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,800
Speaker 1: by being that successful person. But all that did was

201
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,240
Speaker 1: attracting the people that loved me for that reason, which

202
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,880
Speaker 1: actually made me feel more isolated. So you had the

203
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,920
Speaker 1: moment with your friend in the car, and then where

204
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,040
Speaker 1: do you go from there? You're like, I'm miserable, but

205
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,240
Speaker 1: then what Yeah, so I sat down and I looked

206
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,640
Speaker 1: at all, right, like, what are the industries in the

207
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,600
Speaker 1: world that I don't agree with? And I looked at

208
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,559
Speaker 1: big agriculture, big farmer, big media, big finance, big government,

209
00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,520
Speaker 1: and big Farmer was the one that really pulled me

210
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,800
Speaker 1: towards it. I was like, it's basically they have customers,

211
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,600
Speaker 1: not patients. They're in the business of sick care, not healthcare.

212
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,640
Speaker 1: There they celebrate quarters where their profits go up, not

213
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,840
Speaker 1: go down. If they were really concerned with health, then

214
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,960
Speaker 1: they'd be wanting to eliminate sickness. But they're not. They're

215
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,680
Speaker 1: just interested in medicating it. So that was the first

216
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,080
Speaker 1: thing that I was kind of pulled to. Then I

217
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,480
Speaker 1: moved from Sydney to New Zealand and I got a

218
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,280
Speaker 1: farm over the ten acres. Over there, I was in

219
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,160
Speaker 1: the mountains and just isolated. I was drinking water from

220
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,960
Speaker 1: the earth. There was the cleanest air in the world

221
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,520
Speaker 1: in Wellington over there where I was living and just

222
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,360
Speaker 1: eating really clean food. I didn't have WiFi over there,

223
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,520
Speaker 1: I didn't have a television, and I just was there

224
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,040
Speaker 1: for seven months, just allowed my body to purge all

225
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,880
Speaker 1: the drugs, all the alcohol and everything else and I

226
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,040
Speaker 1: chose five areas which I was interested in, So one

227
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,280
Speaker 1: was tattooing, one was Brazilian jiu jitsu, one was motorcycles,

228
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,959
Speaker 1: one was music, and one was naturopathy, just being a

229
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,240
Speaker 1: naturopathy in Australia. And I used the process of elimination

230
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,480
Speaker 1: and I started down each one and I was doing

231
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,160
Speaker 1: a lot of drawing because I thought, you know, i'd

232
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,680
Speaker 1: be a tattoo artist because you probably see I'm covered

233
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:54,000
Speaker 1: in tattoos from head to toe. And I woke up

234
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 1: one morning and I just started to write out these lists.

235
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,559
Speaker 1: One of the lists was what do I spend most

236
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:02,440
Speaker 1: of my time researching? Which the nature of consciousness, reality, trauma,

237
00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:07,760
Speaker 1: the mind, shim, shamanic staff, mystical experiences, psychedelics. And it's like,

238
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,760
Speaker 1: what am I good at well, communication and speaking? What

239
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,520
Speaker 1: do people tell me I'm good at communication and speaking.

240
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,640
Speaker 1: What do people come to me for advice? And I

241
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,640
Speaker 1: looked at it. I'm meant to be a therapist and

242
00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 1: it was just that. And about six or twelve months

243
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,120
Speaker 1: after that, I was sitting there on the edge of

244
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,920
Speaker 1: my bed and that voice came back in and just said,

245
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,439
Speaker 1: you're here to dissolve sexual trauma, and I started to

246
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,480
Speaker 1: look it up and I spoke to I went to

247
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,520
Speaker 1: university for a little while, and that was really where

248
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 1: I decided that the traditional method was not going to

249
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,320
Speaker 1: be for me because it wasn't deep enough. And I

250
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,440
Speaker 1: said to myself, if I'm going to go be a therapist,

251
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,679
Speaker 1: I'm going to do something that either hasn't been done

252
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,760
Speaker 1: or is very difficult to do, because I'm not going

253
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,840
Speaker 1: to play small in this because I know it's my purpose.

254
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,800
Speaker 1: And when I heard the sexual trauma aspect, I spoke

255
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,680
Speaker 1: to one of my university teachers and they said, what

256
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:58,920
Speaker 1: do you want to do? And I said, well, I

257
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,600
Speaker 1: want to I'm here to dissolve sexual trauma. She kind

258
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,320
Speaker 1: of laughed and said, well can't be done. You're not

259
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,280
Speaker 1: you can't do it. Then nowhere teaches it and it

260
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,319
Speaker 1: just can't be done. And so I said, well, I

261
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,319
Speaker 1: just got to go figure it out myself. So quit union.

262
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,240
Speaker 1: Then figured it out myself on how to do that,

263
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,560
Speaker 1: and then the first couple of years was around helping

264
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,720
Speaker 1: I think forward a hundred or something women dissolve the

265
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,840
Speaker 1: circumstances of the sexual trauma and the programs and the

266
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,080
Speaker 1: mind issues and the diseases that that created. And now

267
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,679
Speaker 1: I work specifically with men to do that so they

268
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,520
Speaker 1: can hold sacred space for women and start to and

269
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,480
Speaker 1: we'll get into that maybe bit later in the podcast,

270
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,320
Speaker 1: UM hold sacred space for for women energetically so they

271
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,800
Speaker 1: can feel safe again. So that was kind of it

272
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,480
Speaker 1: how I went down that path. Yeah, I have a

273
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:46,719
Speaker 1: question about how much a person like you is constantly

274
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,640
Speaker 1: kind of doing his own work while you pursue these

275
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,320
Speaker 1: kind of things and you're helping other people. Because when

276
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,120
Speaker 1: I'm hearing your story, what was lining up for me

277
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,960
Speaker 1: was this piece of like, wait, so how far along

278
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,719
Speaker 1: did you get in your healing first? Because how did

279
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,600
Speaker 1: you have the confidence to even trust the voices in

280
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,480
Speaker 1: your head? Like I know as also a person who's

281
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,320
Speaker 1: been in some abusive dynamics. The thing that happened to

282
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,720
Speaker 1: me the most was I really questioned myself on everything

283
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,120
Speaker 1: Like that was the biggest UM thing I walked away

284
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,719
Speaker 1: from having to gain every time was just sort of

285
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,479
Speaker 1: like getting my confidence back maybe and trusting my intuition,

286
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,040
Speaker 1: because when you're in a situation where you're being gaslet

287
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,720
Speaker 1: or abused or whatever you want to call it, UM,

288
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,680
Speaker 1: that's kind of the thing that can go. So how

289
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,680
Speaker 1: much had you done before you started to actually pursue

290
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 1: it or was it one of those things where you

291
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,640
Speaker 1: were like, I'm just going to take the next right

292
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,960
Speaker 1: step and it's just going to reveal itself to me. Yeah.

293
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 1: More the ladder, for sure. And I've had sixteen businesses

294
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,920
Speaker 1: in my time. When I was getting into it, I

295
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,000
Speaker 1: was trying to get another investment company off the ground,

296
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,120
Speaker 1: and my soul was just like, don't do this. And

297
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,680
Speaker 1: I said to my business part at the time, I said,

298
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 1: I can't make another fucking investment phone call. I'm going

299
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,480
Speaker 1: to go step into therapy. I had no contacts in

300
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,840
Speaker 1: the therapy world. I didn't know a therapist. I had nothing,

301
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,840
Speaker 1: But I just knew I had to do it. And anyway,

302
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,560
Speaker 1: the day I made the decision. The next day, I

303
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,320
Speaker 1: got invited to a dinner and I met two guys

304
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,320
Speaker 1: who are two of my best friends now, and both

305
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,960
Speaker 1: of them had been cheated on in eight year relationships,

306
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 1: and I just said, let's do some therapy together. One

307
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,200
Speaker 1: guy had developed so riasis down the left side of

308
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,760
Speaker 1: his body, left side being the feminine side, and it

309
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:33,360
Speaker 1: was all the heat from the affair that his expartment had.

310
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:37,440
Speaker 1: The other guy had developed IBS, which is irritable bowl syndrome,

311
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 1: which is a digestion issue from being in the relationship

312
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,760
Speaker 1: as well. So I ended up working with both those guys.

313
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,360
Speaker 1: What I did is I linked up the path I

314
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 1: didn't even know really what I was doing, to be honest,

315
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,160
Speaker 1: I just was going with it. And I've got this

316
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 1: ability to hear the way someone speaks is the way

317
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,880
Speaker 1: that they present. And what will happen to me is

318
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,960
Speaker 1: when I'm in the space of doing the healing, It'll

319
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,640
Speaker 1: be like me on words will float up in front

320
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 1: of me. So it's like watching a movie screen holographically

321
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,520
Speaker 1: and I'll see it. I'll just see what they can't see.

322
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,000
Speaker 1: I can't really explain it. I don't know why I've

323
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,960
Speaker 1: been given that, but it's just a gift that I've

324
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 1: been given. I can hear it and I can see it.

325
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,400
Speaker 1: And so what I did was linked up the patterns.

326
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,440
Speaker 1: And then after our first session, each time his rash

327
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,000
Speaker 1: went away because he had an emotional release. My friend's

328
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 1: IBS went away after that. He'd had for I think

329
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 1: it was eleven years or something like that. This guy

330
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,520
Speaker 1: couldn't eat almost anything, and then the next day it

331
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,560
Speaker 1: was completely gone. And you know, I think years now

332
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 1: it's still not come back in any form. So I

333
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 1: went through that, I was just like, whoa, what's happening?

334
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 1: This is this is crazy. And then the third person

335
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,000
Speaker 1: I got was a woman that had experienced sexual trauma

336
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,160
Speaker 1: at the hands of her father's best friend, and so

337
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,720
Speaker 1: she came to me, not for that, but to find

338
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:54,160
Speaker 1: a relationship. And I said to her, you're not being

339
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 1: vulnerable and she's like, yeah, I am, I said, and

340
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 1: my exact words, but no, no, you're full of ship.

341
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,200
Speaker 1: You're not being vulnerable all at all. This is why

342
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 1: you won't bring a man in. And she said, what

343
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,439
Speaker 1: do you mean? And I said, well, when was the

344
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 1: last time you were really vulnerable? And she said, well,

345
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,000
Speaker 1: in my last relationship. I said, no, it wasn't. I

346
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,919
Speaker 1: said it was when you were six and your dad's

347
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,680
Speaker 1: best for a molestedy. That was the last time you're

348
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 1: truly vulnerable and since then you've shut yourself down to

349
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 1: not allow that in and all at all. And she

350
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 1: sort of almost went catatonic. She's like, oh my god,

351
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 1: oh my god, like she could see it so her

352
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 1: perception shifted and her body released right. So she went

353
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,920
Speaker 1: through like a five or six day releasing process. But

354
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,960
Speaker 1: the thing that was fascinating about it was that she

355
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,879
Speaker 1: hadn't spoken to her dad for five years. In the

356
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 1: world of quantum physics, what had happened is she'd released

357
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,919
Speaker 1: what had happened in that moment by allowing herself to

358
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 1: be vulnerable by seeing the blockages that were there. The

359
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 1: next morning, her dad sent her a message saying to her,

360
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 1: I miss you so much. I love you, and I'm

361
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 1: sorry I never kept you safe when you were a

362
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 1: little girl. Now, the reason why she stopped speaking to

363
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,679
Speaker 1: him is because she old her father what happened, and

364
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 1: he said that never happened. That's bullshit. That was the

365
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 1: last time he spoke to her. And then within twenty

366
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:09,439
Speaker 1: four hours of me helping her to see the pattern,

367
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 1: she became energetically too available, available to get the thing

368
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 1: that she wanted the most, which is acknowledgement from her father.

369
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,359
Speaker 1: They repaired the relationship, she dissolved it. She has now

370
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 1: met a man that she's engaged to. You know, So

371
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 1: this is the energetics from a quantum level. There's no

372
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 1: distance in the quantum realm. Once we release the stuff

373
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 1: from the body. This is I say I'm a linguistic physicist.

374
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,960
Speaker 1: Because it opened up, she became able to receive the

375
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 1: love that she truly wanted from the man that she

376
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,679
Speaker 1: loved the most, which was her father. So then she

377
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,680
Speaker 1: was able to receive love from another man because that's

378
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,960
Speaker 1: what had been blocking her off. So the reason why

379
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 1: I used these examples was to say, I just took

380
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,199
Speaker 1: the leap into it and let it reveal itself, and

381
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 1: I trusted that whatever was meant for me was going

382
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 1: to work out in ways that I didn't fully understand

383
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 1: at the time, but I had to take it. And

384
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 1: then I started to do my own work on my

385
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,359
Speaker 1: self through the reflection of the people that were actually

386
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 1: being attracted into me. I mean, I did more healing

387
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 1: in the first two years of my work than I've

388
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 1: done twenty years prior to that, and I thought that

389
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of healing prior to that. But

390
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 1: through my clients and the ability to see things, I

391
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 1: was having my own releases, and my own healing happened

392
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,919
Speaker 1: by virtue of the fact that they had come in

393
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 1: to reflect that back to me. So it was it

394
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 1: was a real beautiful gift that I got to do

395
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,239
Speaker 1: my own healing through my own work, develop a new

396
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,719
Speaker 1: system that hasn't been developed yet as far as I know,

397
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 1: and also to help others in the meantime. So was

398
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 1: this such a sacred gift that I had been given

399
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: in the ability to do this? I mean, that story

400
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 1: just really made me want to cry. That is insane.

401
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 1: But it's like I've been talking about this a lot,

402
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: and this is kind of um revealing itself to me

403
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 1: in my life. Like you just said, I've done I

404
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 1: think a lot of work. But what I'm really starting

405
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,680
Speaker 1: to resonate with is, you know, the body keeps the

406
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 1: score kind of mentality of just like we store these

407
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 1: energies in our body and all the blocks are there

408
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,399
Speaker 1: because we're just holding onto stuff and it does really

409
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 1: block us from attracting things in or we do attract

410
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,479
Speaker 1: the things in that are bad and they just repeat

411
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 1: those cycles bad for us. I mean, um, the fact

412
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 1: that you mentioned two things, the healing of the ib

413
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,400
Speaker 1: s and the psoriasis, Like I keep trying to say

414
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 1: to people around me, I'm like, you do realize it's

415
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 1: all connected. So like if you haven't feeled your past

416
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,439
Speaker 1: relationship with your parents or your ex boyfriend or whatever

417
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 1: it could be from that or something. So people aren't

418
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 1: really understanding that everything is connected and then what happens

419
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: to us when we release something and then just how

420
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: it goes out into the universe and then what we're

421
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 1: bringing back, Like her dad calling her the next day,

422
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 1: that's insane. You can't explain that other well, you just

423
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 1: kind of did, but like, you can't explain it other

424
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 1: than to say it's an energy thing. You know that,

425
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 1: so you can't deny that piece of it. I just

426
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:09,360
Speaker 1: think it's fascinating. Yeah. And it's physics. It's the way

427
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 1: that the world works. I always say to people, I

428
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 1: don't care if you believe in physics or not. That's

429
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 1: how it works. There was another guy's working with that

430
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 1: his dad was riddled with arthriters and he was angry

431
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 1: at his dad because his dad never said that he

432
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 1: loved him in thirty six years. And I said to him,

433
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 1: I go, have you told you dad that you love him?

434
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,400
Speaker 1: And he goes no, I said, when did you speak

435
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,200
Speaker 1: to him? And he goes two years ago, this is

436
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 1: when the pandemic started. And he goes two years ago,

437
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, so you're angry at him because

438
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 1: he hasn't told you that he loves you. And he

439
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: goes here and I said, you're doing the same thing

440
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 1: to him that you're blaming him for doing to you.

441
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 1: And I said, but you're so much more further ahead

442
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: than that that you're aware of it. Your dad would

443
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 1: be terrified. He'd be a little boy with that much

444
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: arthritis in his body. He'd be holding onto anger and resentment,

445
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: and you're doing the very thing that you're blaming him

446
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 1: for doing to you. And then I used a few

447
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 1: questions to help him reframe and shift the perspective by asking,

448
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 1: I said, do you think if you went through your

449
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: dad's life, with his parents, with his traumas, with his choices,

450
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 1: with his teachers, that you'd be the same And he

451
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: goes no, and I said, yeah, you would, because he

452
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 1: come into this world as a blank slate, like a baby,

453
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: that's a complete open slate, and we make choices and

454
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 1: get programmed based on our conditioned environment. So you'd be

455
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 1: exactly the same as him if you've gone through everything

456
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: he did. And I would even go as far to

457
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 1: say that you're being him by doing the same thing

458
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 1: that you're blaming him for doing to you. He started crying.

459
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: This guy, he's like, oh my God, like I just

460
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 1: never saw it like that. That night, his dad messaged

461
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 1: him saying, Hey, I hope everything's down okay, down in Sydney.

462
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: He's from the UK. I miss you and I love you.

463
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: Because he finally got ready to let go of it

464
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 1: because he'd been seeing that he'd been making his dad

465
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,719
Speaker 1: wrong and doing the very thing that he was blaming

466
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 1: his dad for doing him. You know, it's madness. So

467
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 1: this is the the realm of physics that when there's

468
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 1: that pop and release at the deepest level, the body

469
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: just starts to let go and then the mind becomes

470
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 1: more expanded and then we were able to receive and

471
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: all diseases, like if you break the word down, it's

472
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: dis ease, it's inflammation and stress and conflict in the body.

473
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,199
Speaker 1: And whatever that's going to show up as IBS is

474
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 1: just is just a byproduct of being scared. That's all

475
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 1: it is. It's got nothing to do with food. I

476
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,879
Speaker 1: worked with another woman that was rape when she was

477
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 1: thirteen twenty one, and she spent like I think it

478
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: was twenty tho dollars a year trying to sort out

479
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 1: of ibs. So this woman couldn't eat like a leaf

480
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: of lettuce without being in bed for four days, you know.

481
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,640
Speaker 1: And I she rang me and she's like, I heard

482
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 1: about someone talking about you over the fence at a party,

483
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 1: and I had to go next sort of find out

484
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: who you work, because you'd help someone with this amazing result.

485
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 1: And she goes and I've had IBS and it's been

486
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: terrible for so long, and I'm wondering if you could

487
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 1: help me. And I said, yeah, three sessions and we

488
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 1: should sort it out. And she's like, what week or

489
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 1: something like that. I said, no, three sessions and we

490
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: should be done by the third session. We didn't need

491
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 1: the third session because we linked it up to what

492
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: had happened when she was thirteen, and because she was raped,

493
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: that area which is around the sacral area had all

494
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: this pressure that had been contained there through energetics, right,

495
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: So what it was it was a protection mechanism actually

496
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: to keep out any male attention. And so by doing that,

497
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 1: the body was trying to regulate itself because she was

498
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 1: so scared, which all the blood goes from the digestion

499
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: to the arms and the legs doesn't become a priority,

500
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: so you can't digest your food because she hadn't digested

501
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 1: the experience, and she was still living as a thirteen

502
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: year old girl, but she was twenty one. So after

503
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: the two sessions she popped. We linked it all up.

504
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 1: IBS was gone by, and it's never come back. Right,

505
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 1: it's energetic, And I said, what do you want the

506
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: most out of this? She does, I just want to

507
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: eat a cold apple. I said, go eat one tonight,

508
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 1: because it's got nothing to do with food. It's just energetic.

509
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 1: That's the nature of physics. Yeah, it's crazy. I recently

510
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: started drinking, and I've noticed such a difference, like it

511
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: was almost like an energetic block. I don't know how

512
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 1: to explain it other than that that's what I keep

513
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: saying to people is for some reason for me, um,

514
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: the alcohol was like keeping something stuck from my connection

515
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: to the universe in whatever way. And so now that

516
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: I've stopped, it's like I'm having the most insane dreams

517
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 1: and I'm like feeling this intuition, intuition that I didn't

518
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: I think I knew was in there, but like I

519
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 1: wasn't able to connect to. And it just proved to

520
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: me that UM, the energy of certain things, and even

521
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,119
Speaker 1: foods and alcohol or whatever it is, can really desensitize

522
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: us to the energy happening around us total. I mean,

523
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: even the word alcohol is an Arabic word which means alcool,

524
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,679
Speaker 1: which means body ating spirit. Right, That's why they call

525
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 1: them spirits because that we used to invoke spirits in

526
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 1: UM cultures for magic. Right, That's why that was it. Yeah,

527
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,879
Speaker 1: So there is a there is a world out there,

528
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 1: and I do work a little bit in it, which is,

529
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: you know, there's spiritual interference which can take us over

530
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: off and alcohol was one of the things that was

531
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: used for that from a spiritual perspective. It's been used

532
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 1: in black magic. It's been used to invoke demonic experience

533
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,719
Speaker 1: or sorts of stuff. And this is the same thing

534
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 1: happened to me when I moved to New Zealand. I

535
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: was having and I still have a precognitive dream so

536
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: I'll know what's going to happen the next day based

537
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 1: on the dreams that I'm having, because there's no time

538
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: in that qunstant realm, and there is a part that

539
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 1: we're choosing based on our vibrational constructs that we're operating

540
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: out of, so intuition. It's an interesting one because most

541
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,679
Speaker 1: people are guided by intuition. They call it intuition, but

542
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 1: it's actually the traumatic program And so it's like the

543
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: aspect of butterflies in the stomach. And when someone says,

544
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 1: I've met someone who got butterflies in my stomach, I said, well,

545
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: let's not get disney about the fact that that's the

546
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: same place where IBS shows up when you've got a

547
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 1: lot of fear that's been accumulated in the stomach, same

548
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 1: as where the butterflies show up. So is that intuition

549
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: or is it traumatic programming? And I would assert that

550
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: it's traumatic programming because I've seen it too many times

551
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 1: to be argued against it. Like you shouldn't be having

552
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: a lot of butterflies in the stomach when you meet

553
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: someone new. There can be a bit of excitement, but

554
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: you wanted to be calm. So when we're activated through

555
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 1: that traumatic programming, not intuition, the person that we've met

556
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: usually has exactly the same energetic frequency as the care

557
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: provider that showed us the absence of love. And so

558
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: when people go I feel like I've known you forever.

559
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 1: It's like, well, you have energetically because you omit the

560
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: same thing as my father or my mother, and so

561
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 1: that's why I feels so familiar to us. That's the

562
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: traumatic programming. So intuition is like a deep knowing, but

563
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: the ego, which is the collector of programs, is going

564
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 1: to be guiding that until you dissolved the programs that

565
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: are in the way of your true intuition. Okay, that

566
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 1: makes sense. So intuition isn't what the what was the

567
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: first thing you said about it? Traumatic program so it

568
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 1: can be blocked. Is that what you're saying, Yeah, and

569
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: you'll believe that it's intuition. The ego does this beautiful

570
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 1: trick to do that because the ego wants to maintain

571
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 1: its own existence. Right. So the ego is the subconscious mind,

572
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 1: and it's developed a house in the psyche, right. So

573
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 1: there's a house in the subconscious psyche, and there's all

574
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: these rooms, and each one of these rooms is a program,

575
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: and these programs don't know that the other programs exist.

576
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 1: And it's subconscious, so it's underneath conscious awareness, and so

577
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: the conscious mind doesn't know that these rooms are there.

578
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 1: As well. And so the ego has done this masterful

579
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 1: way to hide this out of you. But the unconscious

580
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: vibration is going to bring in the events and circumstances

581
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: to help show us that these rooms are there. The

582
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: ego is very tricky, it's very masterful. Originally it was

583
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: just used for running away from tigers and bears and

584
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 1: for men who was protecting our women when we were cabling,

585
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: and that's it. But as more intelligence and evolution has happened,

586
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: guess what's evolved and become more intelligent the ego, and

587
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: it's become masterfully smart. And when I saw this, I

588
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: was like, oh, you fucking tricky little bastard, like you

589
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: got me. So when I started this work, I worked

590
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 1: with a tarot reader, a psychic, and she said, jag

591
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 1: for you, the quickest way to hell is to buy

592
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 1: into the guru status. She goes, you're going to be

593
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: made of guru, of you're going to be deified. It's

594
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: all going to happen. So instantly, what did I do?

595
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: I started to develop a mechanism of humility, but the

596
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: humility was only to feed the guru that was humble, right,

597
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, so I didn't see that. And it's

598
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: like there's a saying in the old religious as none

599
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 1: so pious as the new convert right, or there's none

600
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: so self righteous as the newly converted. So I'd become

601
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: like this false you know, um humble guru. And I

602
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: was like, no, it's all you. It's got nothing to

603
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: do with me. While behind the scenes, I'm like, yeah,

604
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: it's looking pretty good, you know, like that I'm like

605
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 1: at a cafe and like I'll be talking to a

606
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: woman or something and doing cold reading on it, like going,

607
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: she'll touch your left elbow, go coll your mom didn't

608
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: support you and you're a kid, right, And he's like, well,

609
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: what the funk? Like this is too much, And so

610
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 1: it was like I'd become this shadow magic and under

611
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: the false guys have been humble about it, and it

612
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 1: was you know, and that's what the ego did for me,

613
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: developed it. So I heard this infant and then went

614
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: the other way. Then when I saw it, it started

615
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: to dissolve and it was like, okay, cool, I don't

616
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: need to be the wizard or you know, the Jesus.

617
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 1: One person called and I was like slowly roll, like

618
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,479
Speaker 1: chill and not Jesus, and so it was. It was

619
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: this masterful way that the ego set itself up to

620
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,479
Speaker 1: maintain its own sense of survival for me, which I

621
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: bought right into because I thought that I transcended it,

622
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: but I hadn't. I brought right into it. And so

623
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 1: the ego can do that to us. Tricky little bastard

624
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,959
Speaker 1: for sure. But like, how what do we do about that?

625
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 1: Because it's subconscious, Like you said, you actually were thinking, okay, yeah,

626
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help people and do all this stuff and

627
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: be humble, but it ended up turning out that that

628
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: was the ego driving the bus. So how do we

629
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: know that that's even happening. Yeah, and this is the

630
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 1: sort of gift of it. This is where the ego

631
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: will try to hide it. But the unconscious, which is

632
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 1: the soul, so subconscious ego unconscious is the soul. Vibrationally,

633
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: what happens is like water going into a glass or

634
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: a container. The water is going to take shape of

635
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 1: that container. So the ego is going to wrap these

636
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: programs around the soul. So it's like chains around the soul.

637
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 1: So we're here to break free from it. So, because

638
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: the soul is a vibrational experience, and then it goes

639
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: word in the subconscious language is the extension of the

640
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 1: word word. The language creates a code, then code creates

641
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: these programs. The beautiful thing about it is because the

642
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 1: souls of vibrational essence and so these words we attract

643
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: in the same situations again and again and again and again.

644
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: So how the ego works is in the form of

645
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: negation like I'm not something like I'm not enough. There's

646
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: a big one. So if I say to you, okay,

647
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: don't think about a red car, you'll start thinking about

648
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: a red car. But you won't think about the words

649
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: of me saying don't think about a red car. You'll

650
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: picture a red car in your mind. And so these programs,

651
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,479
Speaker 1: they have a set of thoughts and feelings that go

652
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: with it. And so what will happen is the thoughts

653
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: that will come up. So I'm not enough might be

654
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: like I'll never get that job, that person is not

655
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: going to like me. It's going to show up as

656
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: these thoughts which we call beliefs, which aren't true anyway.

657
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: But there are extensions of these deeper subconscious programs. But

658
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: the beautiful thing about it is that the unconscious is

659
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: going to bring them in again and again and again,

660
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 1: and come on, Kelly, come on, Jack fucking wake up.

661
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 1: Like I bought this two fives. When are you going

662
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: to get it? So it's right in front of us

663
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: all the time, we just can't see it. I was

664
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: working with a guy as I'll give you an example.

665
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: I was working with this guy on the weekend and

666
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 1: he grew up in the Jehovah's Witness, and the Jehovah's

667
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: Witness believed that there's this paradise on earth that's coming

668
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: and you've got to wait for the next life in

669
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: so many religions that they do that. And I said

670
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,239
Speaker 1: to him, and he just there's a real disdain for it,

671
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: or there had been. And I said to him, because

672
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: his dad's in his seventies eighties and he's wasted his

673
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 1: whole life waiting for this new thing to come forward.

674
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 1: And I said, how old are you? When he goes,

675
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,719
Speaker 1: I'm for auty And I said, okay, so are you

676
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: waiting for the next life? And he goes, no way.

677
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: He's like, I can't believe that Jehovah's Witness teach that

678
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 1: that's so fucked up, Like blah blah blah blah blah.

679
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 1: And I said, so, do you think they taught you

680
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: to wait for the next life? He goes yet, I said,

681
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 1: but you're not waiting for the next life. So did

682
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: they actually teach you how precious life is and not

683
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: to wait for that, or did they teach you to

684
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: wait for it? Because what I'm hearing is that that

685
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: was actually a gift, and then that's taught you now

686
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: to come to someone like me so you can break

687
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 1: free from that and then actually look at that as

688
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: a gift to not waste your life so you don't

689
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: end up like your father. So I want you to

690
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 1: consider that the Jehovah's witness and your father taught you

691
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 1: exactly what you need to not by virtue of the

692
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: fact that they were who you wanted them to be,

693
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: but by virtue of the fact that they were who

694
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: you needed them to be, which led you to me

695
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: so you could be triggered into this experience to be free.

696
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: So you realize now that you get to go and

697
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: live a life of beauty, abundance, joy and love and

698
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: freedom as opposed to be constrained waiting for the next life.

699
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: And he just went, oh, my God, I didn't see

700
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: it like that. I said, yes, but it had been

701
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: in your field the whole time. You just couldn't see

702
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: it that way. And so he completely recontextualized his whole

703
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: entire life prior to that as this beautiful gift that

704
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: he now gets to go and live the next forty

705
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: or sixty years in this joint abundance without worrying about

706
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,399
Speaker 1: the blame and the anger and the hatred he had

707
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: for not being brought up the way he thought that

708
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: he should have been brought up. Rather, his soul had

709
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: put him into this place and pushed him into it

710
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: for his own evolution, of which now he gets to

711
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 1: be free and look at his history as a gift

712
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 1: rather than a curse. And so life will give it

713
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: to us again and again and again and again and

714
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: when we can see it that way. And that's what

715
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: I do for people and helped them shift it. But

716
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 1: it's right in front of you the whole time. You're

717
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,439
Speaker 1: the common theme in your life, Like wherever your problems are,

718
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: you're always there. You know, like you can't, you can't

719
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 1: remove yourself from the situation. But people want to blame

720
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: the outside world. But the ego will will blame the

721
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: outside world, but the soul will keep bringing it in

722
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: because it wants to from it. Yeah, I actually am

723
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: finally understanding that because especially in this my experience is

724
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: the last couple of years, it's been, um well, the

725
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 1: universe likes to give me a similar type of boyfriend

726
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 1: so that I finally can learn the lessons that I

727
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: need to and I am. And it's but when I

728
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: what I realized after this last one um as I

729
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 1: kept being like, uh, just taking on that I'm the

730
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 1: common denominator, so like I must be so fucked up right,

731
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: Like it just feels like almost I was viewing it

732
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: as this like punishing me to say that I'm the

733
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 1: common denominator thing. But what's happened this last time is

734
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 1: I really finally accepted certain things that I was just

735
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: not willing to accept about myself. And I've now taken on,

736
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 1: um some new roles or like looking at things in

737
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 1: a different way, or even eliminating certain things from my

738
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: life that I wasn't ready to let go of. And

739
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 1: so they were like, okay, one more time, here we go,

740
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 1: like we just gotta show you this one more time.

741
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 1: And it happened in every area of my life, like

742
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: a different work, a friend, like it was exactly the

743
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 1: same dynamic and I worn't common denominator because I was

744
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: playing the exact same role in all of those relationships. Yeah,

745
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 1: and that's what I mean. It's showing up for you everywhere, right,

746
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 1: And so I mean you're probably attracting guys that don't

747
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 1: really step up to the play. You're obviously very successful, independent,

748
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, so wouldn't be surprised if

749
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 1: there was a bit more of a masculine role going

750
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 1: on for you. And then you're you know, attracting your

751
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 1: men that don't really step up and they probably need

752
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: you wanted to mother them or something like that. You know,

753
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 1: this is usually the typical constraint. I'll do everything by

754
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: myself and then yeah, so it's like that's developed through

755
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 1: childhood and then we'll develop will bring in people to

756
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 1: reflect that and reveal that for us. You know, we're

757
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 1: all programmed the sign. We're all programmed the same. And

758
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: it gets frustrated because it's like what you would have

759
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 1: been doing is trying to resolve the unfinished business. What

760
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: you did is you've got unfinished business with one of

761
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 1: your caretakers, and you're looking to resolve that unfinished business

762
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 1: through the reflection of partnership. And it would have just

763
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 1: been the same thing. I had this with my mom.

764
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 1: My mom was Leo. Every woman I dated was Leo

765
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: for like twelve years. Is this madness? So it was

766
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: the same thing, same relationship, same everything. When I started

767
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: to break that apart and stop showing up, really, yeah,

768
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 1: that's good to know. Okay, interesting, Okay, Well, let's talk

769
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 1: about a little bit about your work that you are doing.

770
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:34,760
Speaker 1: And you've mentioned that you started, um focusing on women

771
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 1: in sexual healing sexual trauma. Was it women at first

772
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 1: and then kind of evolved women only women and now

773
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: you said you focus more on men only men. Yeah,

774
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 1: at the moment only. Okay, talk us through that dynamic.

775
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 1: So it's not that I necessarily chose that. That's just

776
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 1: what life had been store for me, and so what

777
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: I was doing with that, you know, that was just

778
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: given to me. And a whole host of things would

779
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 1: show up, women that their hair wouldn't grow properly. Um,

780
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: you know, IBS, cancer, you know, volverdinia, STDs, things like that.

781
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 1: They're all showing up around this, and so the beautiful

782
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: gift in all of that for me was that I

783
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 1: got to hold a space of love and acceptance for them,

784
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: help them to see that men can be trusted. And

785
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,760
Speaker 1: that was really the gift of it all. I remember

786
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: I did a psychedelic journey before I started a few

787
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: years ago, and I was standing on the top of

788
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 1: this hill and there were all these light things in

789
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: front of me, and there are hundreds of thousands of them,

790
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: and I was standing next to this like lotus flower

791
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: being there was like humanoid, but its head was a

792
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: lotus flower. And I said, who are all these people?

793
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: And it said, these are all the people that you're

794
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 1: going to help in this life. But it's not going

795
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 1: to be through this amazing gift that you're doing. You're

796
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: going to make them feel so loved and accepted that

797
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 1: they're going to heal just by being in your presence

798
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,919
Speaker 1: with that. And I didn't know what that fully meant

799
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 1: at the time, but that's what had actually started to

800
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: open up. So there's like the maternal and paternal energies, right.

801
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 1: So the maternal is I just love and accept you

802
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,879
Speaker 1: as you are, with all the trauma, with all the difficulty,

803
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 1: You're not broken as society might think that you are.

804
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 1: You're not tainted. Something happened, and we'll resolve it. And

805
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 1: then I'd move into more of the father energy, which

806
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: is like, all right, cool, let's fix this ship as

807
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 1: quickly as possible and get you on the road so

808
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: you can go live your life. And so I helped,

809
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 1: you know, I think four or eighteen hundred women or

810
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: something like that to resolve that and overcome that. And

811
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 1: now what I'm doing with men is which I'm really

812
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: passionate about, is to help them hold a safe space

813
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: in the sexual arena for women to not not to

814
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,919
Speaker 1: be crasped but funk women like they hate them, which

815
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: is how most most men treat women because it's celebrated

816
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: through porn. So I'll get them away from porn. I'll

817
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: get them away from their limiting beliefs. You know. The

818
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 1: amount of women that I worked with that had consensual

819
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 1: sex that felt like a rape experience for them was

820
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: mind blowing, right where the guy would just be super rough,

821
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: you know, and like the experience with us six to

822
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 1: eleven minutes, and that's usually the average time. And I'm like,

823
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: you know, teaching men, I'm like, you should be kissing

824
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: for thirty to forty five minutes. If you close on

825
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: with you woman, touch her softly, touch her slowly, like

826
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: you know, if you want to do it rough and

827
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: that's what she's into, go be consensual about it. But

828
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,919
Speaker 1: don't force that on a woman like she's something. They're

829
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 1: just to serve you in that way. And so the

830
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: next thing for me is to help men to understand

831
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:34,319
Speaker 1: not to objectify women. Don't you know, like when they

832
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 1: walk down the street, kick your mate under the table

833
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 1: and go look at that one, look at that one.

834
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 1: It's like, it's it's just gross behavior in my world.

835
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: You know, that's not respecting the feminine, it's not respecting

836
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 1: another human being, and it's not respecting yourself. And there's

837
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: this narrative out there that's kind of like red pill culture.

838
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've heard of that yet, but

839
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: it's kind of like, you know, alpha's they do what's

840
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: called spinning plates, and spinning plates is having a rotation

841
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,439
Speaker 1: of women and the alpha will just you know, pick

842
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: and choose and whatever and do whatever he wants, but

843
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 1: not commits a relationship. And I just think as a species,

844
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: were meant to evolve and that might have worked in

845
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: the animal kingdom, might have worked when we were caveman

846
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 1: or something like that. But as we evolve with spiritual beings,

847
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 1: that starts to become more connected to God's source, the

848
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: spirit to love, you know, we want to go deep

849
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 1: with someone. That's why there's male, female, masculine, feminine man woman,

850
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 1: because it's a union that we're meant to experience through

851
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 1: the other person. And so sex is spirit descending, which

852
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 1: is involution, and physical ascending, which is evolution. And it's

853
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 1: meant to go from the top, from the bottom up

854
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 1: and meet in the center of the heart. It's why

855
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 1: it's called making love because in the experience of union,

856
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 1: it's two halves of one hole coming together. Where I

857
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: think that there's been a big disservice to all of

858
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,919
Speaker 1: it is this new age thing which is like, oh,

859
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 1: it's about harmonizing everything internally. It's like, well, sure, there's

860
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,240
Speaker 1: an experience of wholeness there, but there's also a reason

861
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 1: that there's male and female that unify together in order

862
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: to create a whole. That's why, like, when you get

863
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:06,879
Speaker 1: it right, you can actually lose yourself and you won't

864
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 1: feel your body. You'll start to have a spiritual experience

865
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: in that world. And so what I want to teach

866
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: is men to get past this animalistic nature, get away

867
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: from pornography, get away from my objectifying women, and start

868
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: to transcend that into a place where they can still

869
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: be a man. You know, still, you know, do your

870
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 1: Brazilian jiu jitsu. Be a warrior, be a hunter, be

871
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: a farmer, but step into the heart and love your

872
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 1: woman and be a gentleman about it at the same time,

873
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: Like bring the best of both worlds, and you don't

874
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,839
Speaker 1: need to be there the weak nice guy that tries

875
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: to manipulate women to get sex and is weak and

876
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 1: all that be strong. Know how to kick someone's ass,

877
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 1: you know, go and kill animals if you want, in

878
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 1: a sacred way. Be a farmer. That's why. Like there's

879
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,439
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with being a farmer and growing your food.

880
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 1: That's why they say farm boys strength, Like farmers are strong.

881
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: Be an our friend that way, but also treat your

882
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,839
Speaker 1: woman with respect and commit to her. I wrote about

883
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: this the other day, that a real man will step

884
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,360
Speaker 1: up and make a commitment. Like sleeping with heaps of

885
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: women is easy. It's not hard to sleep around. That

886
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: seems to be the ultimate thing, like, yeah, I've got

887
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: these many women on the go. It's like to me

888
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 1: that just seems empty and vacuous and used to need validation,

889
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 1: which is actually a sense of powerlessness. And to me,

890
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 1: that doesn't represent anything that a man really wants to do. Rather,

891
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: it's just an animalistic nature because you're too scared of intimacy,

892
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: you know, and like that can be scary to go

893
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: into a deep sense of intimacy and really open your heart.

894
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: That's what I think it takes a real man is

895
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: to actually go into that world and kill off the

896
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 1: ego demons that are in the way of that. That's

897
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,800
Speaker 1: the hard task of man face these it faces these days.

898
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: So that's what I'm helping men with at the moment

899
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 1: of this current iteration of my work. O. I love that,

900
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:50,399
Speaker 1: and I mean, but it's so beautiful because ultimately, I mean,

901
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: as a feminine, like that is what we want, what

902
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:57,760
Speaker 1: you just described. And so it's very interesting what's happening

903
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: where the animal is sick or whatever you said. Like

904
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 1: the women are going along with it too, and I

905
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 1: guess that's because we're all just kind of floating around unconscious.

906
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: But like it's very interesting when you put it in

907
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: the way you just put it like that is exactly

908
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: what I would describe I want in a partner, you know,

909
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: And so I'm very excited to hear that men are

910
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:21,399
Speaker 1: actually going in to do this work. So what is it?

911
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: What are you seeing? What the men coming to you?

912
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 1: Are they just willing or is it because they're unsatisfied

913
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 1: like you found yourself in your life? Yeah, a little

914
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 1: bit of both. You know, Some'm in a lot of them,

915
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,479
Speaker 1: and I work with most people find men when they've

916
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 1: tried everything else. So they've been in a A or

917
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: CODA or not anonymous or therapy or everything but tendance

918
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: twenty years and they're just like man like, I've tried everything,

919
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 1: and Petty, I just hear your name and people like

920
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 1: you come to me at the end of your point

921
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 1: where it's like I've had enough, I've hit rock bottom

922
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: of do whatever it takes. And so the men are

923
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 1: really willing to step up. But it's you know, my nickname,

924
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 1: unofficial nickname is like the emotional people, because I can

925
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: be pretty savage, right like pit bulls are beautiful, they're

926
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: very affection a very but they can be pretty savage.

927
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,879
Speaker 1: They need to yeah, and so I kind of take

928
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: that approach where I'll say to someone it's like, you know,

929
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 1: you're playing way too fucking small, and I won't allow it.

930
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: Man the funk up. Like I'm not really a big

931
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 1: fan of the term man up, but in the riot circumstance,

932
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,720
Speaker 1: if someone's playing small. I just got off the phone

933
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 1: before I was talking to before I started this with you,

934
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,959
Speaker 1: and one of my clients message me and he said,

935
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 1: my woman is demanding that I do Ayawaska if she

936
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,959
Speaker 1: wants if I want to have sex with her again,

937
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 1: because she wants me to become spiritual. And I said,

938
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: and he goes, how can I sort of answer that

939
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 1: by keeping the relationship? I said, that's the wrong question.

940
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: You should be asking why you're in the relationship in

941
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: the first place, because if a woman is going to

942
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: make you do that, I've done Ayawaska, and I remember

943
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 1: when I did it the first time. My partner asked me,

944
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 1: She goes, should I do it? And I said, I

945
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: can't tell you to do it. I can't tell you

946
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 1: not to do it. You need to feel the call.

947
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: And I said, what she's doing is she's manipulating you

948
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: by using sex to try to subdue you and bend

949
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: you to her will. I would just say no, that's

950
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: a complete sentence, and you shouldn't want me to do

951
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 1: something that could be potentially traumatic. And I need to

952
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 1: take some space because I don't know if I want

953
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: to be with a woman that's going to try to

954
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 1: make them do that. And I said, if she does

955
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 1: it with that, she'll do it somewhere else, and she'll

956
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,359
Speaker 1: do it somewhere else. You're training her to make her

957
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 1: think that that behavior is okay. I mean, no one

958
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 1: should do that anyway. Dialogue is a huge experience and

959
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: it should definitely not be forced upon someone. Under the

960
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: guy's of her saying I want to be with a

961
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 1: more spiritual man, I said, her demand is actually fully

962
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 1: based in the ego. There's no acceptance there. She's been

963
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: completely manipulative. And so when men come to me and

964
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 1: I start to show them this stuff and also how

965
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 1: to treat their women better, to set boundaries, to do

966
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 1: all of these things, which is really important for them,

967
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: they're very willing to do it, but it can be

968
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,399
Speaker 1: quite difficult as well. I had another guy yesterday when

969
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 1: I was working in his space of victim and powerlessness,

970
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 1: and I said to him, I go, what you've got

971
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: to do is write out a list of everywhere where

972
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 1: you're blaming the world, people circumstances for your own bullshit.

973
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: And within an hour he started to shut down because

974
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: it was so overwhelming for it. Because when we confront

975
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: these things, it has to be done in a way

976
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,879
Speaker 1: where you take full responsibility for your outcome. So when

977
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: someone's operating from a sense of powerlessness, which is a

978
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: big one in the world of men, they're going to

979
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: seek to conquer and dominate and impose their will on

980
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 1: the world. And so when we take full responsibility for

981
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: our outcome, I say to men, I go, what's going

982
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 1: to scare you the most is how powerful you are,

983
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 1: not how powerless you've been. That's easy to get rid of,

984
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: but actually stepping into full responsibility because you'll have to

985
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 1: realize that you will have to take responsibility for every

986
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: fucking thing that you've ever done. And that can be

987
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 1: a hard position to be in, but if you want

988
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 1: to step into being a man, that's what you have

989
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: to do. So this guy is working with that's what's

990
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 1: happening to him. Now he's doing and he goes, this

991
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: is so difficult. I've got a headache, I'm shutting down,

992
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: I just want to sleep. I'm like, then, just take

993
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 1: it easier in yourself, but you still need to do it,

994
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 1: and I'm here for you to support you through it.

995
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,400
Speaker 1: But don't message me telling me how hard it is. Again,

996
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 1: get it fucking done and send me the list, you know.

997
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 1: So sometimes I have to get into the Yeah, that's

998
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 1: the pit pull, right, because it's like his victims trying

999
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 1: to play up and go, you know, like this is

1000
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 1: happening and he's a trauma response coming up in his body.

1001
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 1: But I'm also like, the next message I want from

1002
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:22,799
Speaker 1: you is the list from you. Don't make me fucking wait,

1003
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 1: you know. And that's the sort of they're willing. So

1004
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 1: they're willing to be led that way. And I wouldn't

1005
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: work with someone that's not willing to do that, you know.

1006
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to waste their time and I definitely

1007
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 1: don't want to waste my time in that world. So

1008
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: men are very willing when they come to me to

1009
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 1: step into and be like, I'll do whatever it takes. Okay,

1010
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 1: here's my question. So you mentioned the guy with the partner,

1011
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: and you were like, I don't know if i'd be

1012
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: in a relationship like that. Are you seeing with the

1013
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 1: guys coming to you that are already in relationships that

1014
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 1: their woman is then able to step up into that

1015
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: consciousness or is she already there? Or are they leaving

1016
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 1: the relationships like what? Are the women able to hold

1017
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 1: that base with them? A mix? Right? So it's interesting

1018
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 1: that you say, like a woman able to hold that space?

1019
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 1: Woman is not really in my world, a woman isn't

1020
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 1: really meant to hold the space for the man. This

1021
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 1: is what we've got out there in the narrative at

1022
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: the moment where it's like a woman's meant to hold

1023
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 1: space for the map, it's the other way around, right,

1024
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 1: the man's meant to hold space for the woman. I

1025
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: won't take most of my stuff to my partner. I'll

1026
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 1: bring like one to three and will only be when

1027
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: it really involves something important. I'll be like, hey, I've

1028
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 1: got to process something. I'll speak to you a little

1029
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 1: bit later today or tomorrow, whatever, and I'll check in

1030
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 1: and do it that way. So the woman one of

1031
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 1: it will be a mix of all three of those,

1032
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 1: to be honest, it will be the container of that

1033
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:43,280
Speaker 1: relationship will have to end, because that man has only

1034
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: been in a relationship with his own demands, with his

1035
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 1: own needs, and with his own fears. He hasn't been

1036
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 1: in a relationship with her. So what will happen is

1037
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 1: usually one of the two things. She'll be able to

1038
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: soften and go much more feminine, and he'll step up,

1039
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,319
Speaker 1: at which there will be a beautiful, dynamic reality will

1040
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 1: come back into the relationship and now start to connect again.

1041
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 1: Other times, if it's if it's shifted where the woman

1042
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: is more masculine and he steps up into it, there'll

1043
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 1: be a clash and the polarity will start to die off,

1044
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 1: and she'll probably leave or he'll leave, and they'll go

1045
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,399
Speaker 1: into different relationships so to be one of the two.

1046
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: Or she'll then come to me and say, all right,

1047
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,239
Speaker 1: I need to work with you as well, help me

1048
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: dissolve my stuff, and then they finally get to be

1049
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 1: in a relationship. I remember I worked it with a

1050
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: couple that have been together for twenty six years, and

1051
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: I worked with both of them help them to dissolve

1052
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 1: all their staff, and they were like when they first

1053
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: met again, and I said to them, I said, you

1054
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:35,879
Speaker 1: two are now actually in a relationship with each other

1055
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,439
Speaker 1: because you've only been a relationship with your own inner child,

1056
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 1: which is your own fears, for the last twenty six years,

1057
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: and now you get to see each other for the

1058
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 1: first time again, and it was like they're in honeymoon

1059
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: mode again, you know. So when both partners are willing,

1060
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. But I really do believe it's more important

1061
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 1: for the man to step up and lead the relationship

1062
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,799
Speaker 1: if they want a really feminine partner, you know. And

1063
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: I think one of the big problems is in society

1064
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: now with men, it's like take everything to your partner,

1065
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 1: you know, be vulnerable, open up. It's beautiful to operate

1066
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 1: from the heart, but you don't want to take a

1067
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:08,720
Speaker 1: percent of your problems to your female partner because she'll

1068
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: end up not trusting you, because if you can't handle

1069
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: your own ship, she's just going to be like, Okay, well,

1070
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 1: I don't trust your subconsciously because you're supposed to protect me,

1071
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 1: and if you can't protect me by looking after yourself

1072
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: and handle your own ship, then I'm not going to

1073
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 1: really be that happy in this relationship unless I want

1074
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: to conquer and dominate you and bit a masculine What

1075
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: do you think about the term conscious relationship. I think

1076
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: they can be. I think it's so buzzy now, everyone's

1077
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 1: throwing it around, and so I'm wondering if it's getting

1078
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: a little lost. Yeah, I think it's It can be

1079
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 1: a lot of hard work, because what will happen is

1080
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 1: people say they want to be in a conscious relationship,

1081
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,279
Speaker 1: and then they're going to modify their ego in order

1082
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 1: to say they're in a conscious relationship, you know, and

1083
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 1: then it becomes just another battle of the ego. I mean,

1084
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: what does that even mean? How do we define that? What?

1085
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,880
Speaker 1: What is the conscious relationship? I would be looking at

1086
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 1: a relationship from the aspect of it is a container

1087
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 1: for my healing. It is not a container where you're

1088
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: responsible for loving me. You know, that's a desire, it's

1089
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 1: not necessarily a demand. But most people think you're responsible

1090
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: for the love that I'm feeling and the connection that

1091
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 1: I'm feeling, and so I need you to fulfill all

1092
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:21,760
Speaker 1: of my demands and needs so I feel safe. Whereas

1093
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,800
Speaker 1: if I look at them, I just go a relationship. Firstly,

1094
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 1: there's no relationship with anyone else. It's relationship with yourself

1095
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 1: and that person is one of your karmic actors on

1096
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: your soul's journey to push you into evolution. That's the

1097
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 1: way that I see it. And so when we say, okay,

1098
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 1: what's this showing me about how I can improve my

1099
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: relationship with myself, then they become this divine mirror that

1100
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 1: has come into my life to help me expand past

1101
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 1: the fears and limitations that I've had created or put

1102
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:48,840
Speaker 1: into me through my environment when I'm growing up. So

1103
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 1: conscious relationship to me is that this person has come

1104
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 1: in to assist with my healing and it will last

1105
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: as long as it needs to last. That's my impression

1106
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 1: of a conscious relationship. Most people would see it as

1107
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: something different where it's like, oh, we'll go to therapy,

1108
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 1: you know, well I ask it together, we'll you know,

1109
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 1: do all these things together and we're in this twin

1110
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 1: flame union and whatever you want to call that sort

1111
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 1: of rhetoric that's being thrown around. So the most important

1112
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,400
Speaker 1: thing that I say to people that I truly believe

1113
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 1: is that you want to be conscious in a partnership,

1114
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: do the work on yourself and realize that it's a

1115
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:26,879
Speaker 1: container for your healing. It's not good to get love

1116
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:33,280
Speaker 1: from someone else. I also love that you just said

1117
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,320
Speaker 1: it'll last as long as it's supposed to last, because

1118
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:39,880
Speaker 1: I think we've grown up in such art degenerations are changing,

1119
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 1: but in generations past, it's then you find the person,

1120
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 1: you get married, you stay together, you work through whatever.

1121
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 1: And it's like some relationships really do come into our

1122
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:50,799
Speaker 1: lives to teach us the lessons we need at that time,

1123
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 1: like you said, and then it's time for to move

1124
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:56,800
Speaker 1: on and go to the next one for the next lesson. Um.

1125
00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: And I just think that changing that narrative takes a

1126
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,319
Speaker 1: lot of the pressure off of us too. Like I know,

1127
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: as a woman, I have felt so pressured. I'm almost

1128
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 1: forty and I've never been married, and so there was

1129
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 1: this old programming in me like you have to get married,

1130
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:12,800
Speaker 1: and I had just that has not served my life

1131
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 1: at this point and so um. But getting okay with

1132
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:19,760
Speaker 1: that myself and then kind of changing the narrative in general,

1133
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:21,839
Speaker 1: I think is really helpful to letting go of those

1134
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 1: old stories. Well, what I always say to people is

1135
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: longevity is not an indicator of quality and relationship. So

1136
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 1: just because he's been in a relationship for twenty years,

1137
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you're happy, you know. But the evolutionary

1138
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 1: nature of who we are as being is if we're

1139
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,360
Speaker 1: in it for one year, for three years, for ten years,

1140
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: whatever that's meant to be, because there is a higher

1141
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,319
Speaker 1: reason why it happens, and once the lessons learned, you

1142
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 1: can resolve the karma. Maybe it's a comic relationship, maybe

1143
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,399
Speaker 1: it's one that's supposed to last to night, Maybe it's

1144
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 1: meant to last a lifetime. Whatever that is, it will

1145
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 1: present itself. I remember someone asked me. I said, and Luna,

1146
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: who's my partner? She goes, He goes, So he's Lunar

1147
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 1: the one, Like, well, she's the one soul, she's not

1148
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 1: the one, she's the one right now, you know, Like

1149
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,360
Speaker 1: we don't want to get it twisted that like, and

1150
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 1: the concept of oh, this is my forever person, I mean,

1151
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 1: forever doesn't happen in this life, you know. So you're

1152
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 1: missing out on the bounty and the opportunity of being

1153
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: present by becoming complacent. But I don't know, this is

1154
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 1: my forever person. And then you stop making the effort,

1155
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 1: especially men, they stop showing up, They stop treating their

1156
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 1: woman with love and admiration and respect. They lose that

1157
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 1: spark because they just become complacent. They fall back into patterns.

1158
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,439
Speaker 1: It becomes easy than they The woman becomes the quote

1159
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: unquote ball and chain, which is like, why you want

1160
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship like that anyway? And you

1161
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 1: know they will men will say, oh, the ball and

1162
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,160
Speaker 1: chain or whatever, all the trouble and strife for you know,

1163
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:47,879
Speaker 1: the thing for wife. And I'm like, but like, you'll

1164
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: be out having a drink and then she'll go you

1165
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,319
Speaker 1: need to come home, and you go running. So she's

1166
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 1: controlling you, you resent her, she resents you. You're squabbling

1167
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 1: and you're arguing, and then you're going home to drink

1168
00:55:56,400 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 1: your troubles away. So that's not a relationship in a

1169
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 1: place of happiness and joy or love. Why are you

1170
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: even in that? You know? And people just stay in

1171
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: it because they're put in five or ten years or

1172
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 1: they've got kids together, and staying in those relationships just

1173
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,319
Speaker 1: for the sake of it. It's such a disservice to

1174
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,800
Speaker 1: your own evolution. It's just like a prison that you create.

1175
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 1: And so I'm worthy similar age. I'm almost forty as well,

1176
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: and it's like I look at it and I go, cool, well,

1177
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,919
Speaker 1: I'm in this relationship now and that'll end when it ends,

1178
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: And you know, whatever's going to come in for me,

1179
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,000
Speaker 1: Life will give me everything that I need and I

1180
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: don't need to figure that out and I don't need

1181
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 1: to have a scarcity mindset about it. And I'm not

1182
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,399
Speaker 1: going to. Am I enjoying the relationship that I mean, yeah,

1183
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: I love it, Otherwise I wouldn't be in it. And

1184
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 1: when that finishes, we'll move on with love and someone

1185
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,759
Speaker 1: else will come along. Maybe they will, maybe they won't.

1186
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 1: They We'll get a dog, Maybe I'll live in the woods.

1187
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 1: With all the madness that's going on in the world

1188
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:52,879
Speaker 1: right now, I don't know. I don't know, but life

1189
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 1: will give me whatever I need and I just trust that.

1190
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 1: So what's next for you? I know you said you're

1191
00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 1: working with only men right now. Are you ever going

1192
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 1: to take one and clients again? Yeah? I still will.

1193
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: It's not exclusive for that. Like I take a case

1194
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 1: by case basis, So if a woman comes to me

1195
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,399
Speaker 1: and there's a certain amount of stuff that I could

1196
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 1: just go, yeah, Like relationships are big for women, and

1197
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 1: so when I help them dissolve that those programs that

1198
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 1: they get to go and be in beautiful partnerships with

1199
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: themselves firstly, and then the extension of that is with

1200
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: someone else because they're attracting a beautiful man. You know

1201
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 1: a lot of women will say, oh, there's no good

1202
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 1: men around, or it's you know, a woman commented on

1203
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 1: one of my posts yesterday, you guys, you guys are

1204
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 1: getting harder and harder to find good men. So how

1205
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,120
Speaker 1: many good men do you need to find? You know,

1206
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 1: they need to find one, you know, like there's it's

1207
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 1: not like you need to find five hundred of them,

1208
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,480
Speaker 1: at which point, yeah, that might be a bit more

1209
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 1: of a task, But you've got to examine the nature

1210
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 1: of that belief. And there is at the moment and

1211
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: all our assault on masculinity, you know, it's categorical. And

1212
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,439
Speaker 1: if we look at the polarity movement, which you would

1213
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 1: have seen, I always say it's interesting that if a

1214
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 1: man gets angry, it's toxic masculinity, but if a woman

1215
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:01,160
Speaker 1: goes into rage, it's just di and feminine. You know,

1216
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 1: that's gaslighting. You know that it's like and I saw

1217
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: another post that's say and I talk about this regularly

1218
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 1: because I think it's ridiculous that it said test him

1219
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 1: a thousand times and then test him a thousand times more.

1220
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's once a day for six years that

1221
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 1: my woman would be coming home having a government. I'm like,

1222
00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. That's manipulation and that's abuse, and that is

1223
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:25,400
Speaker 1: an excuse for women out there that have bipolar or

1224
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 1: whatever just to act in whatever way they want. And

1225
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 1: then what will happen is they'll blame the man for

1226
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 1: not stepping up because he wasn't man enough to hold

1227
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 1: all of her. And there's this real manipulative narrative that's

1228
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:38,439
Speaker 1: going into it. A woman should be able to come

1229
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:40,680
Speaker 1: home and crumble and break down and cry and the

1230
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: man holds it and goes, I've got you. But if

1231
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 1: that's every day and it's through manipulation, like what I

1232
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 1: was saying about the client that messaged me demanding that

1233
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: he do Aohwascar, that's not okay that kind of behavior.

1234
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: It's not if she wants to be with a man

1235
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: that does that, go find someone else. But that's this

1236
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 1: sort of manipulative stuff that's going on in the polarity movement.

1237
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: What we want is a woman to be able to

1238
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: come to a man and say I'm struggling. Can you

1239
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 1: hold me right now, and the man will go, would

1240
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: you like me to listen? Or do you want me

1241
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 1: to help you fix what's going on for you? That's

1242
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 1: really it. That's really like a conscious relationship and he'll

1243
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 1: be able to pick up on and so like there's

1244
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 1: something going on right now and not try to fix it,

1245
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:20,520
Speaker 1: not trying to change her, rather help her to surrender

1246
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 1: into safety. And so I do keep working with women

1247
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: to long story short with all of that, but what

1248
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 1: I really want to be able to create his relationships

1249
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 1: so people can just be themselves and not be scared

1250
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 1: of that, not be held back by these programs, not

1251
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,880
Speaker 1: be held back by their own fears and limitations, and

1252
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 1: especially for men to stop trying to fix the woman.

1253
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 1: She's not a project to be worked on. She's not

1254
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 1: a fucking fence out the back you've got to put up,

1255
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 1: you know, She's not a cabinet that you've got to

1256
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: build or a workshop in the garage. The best thing

1257
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 1: you can do for a woman is to let her

1258
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 1: be herself. And you know, women do test, and that's fine,

1259
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 1: but we don't want to get into these abusive relationships

1260
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 1: where it's like step up, step bups, to bups to bups,

1261
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 1: to pup constantly, and then the woman go, well, I

1262
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 1: was too much for humans, Like maybe you need to

1263
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 1: kind of look at yourself in that aspect and if

1264
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 1: he's not filling that role feed to make you feel safe,

1265
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:15,919
Speaker 1: then get out of it, get right. I think that's

1266
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 1: an interesting one because it's, like you said, it's mirroring

1267
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 1: to us what we need to think about ourselves. And

1268
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 1: I know for me, like in the past, there have

1269
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: been behaviors like that where I've been like what am

1270
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 1: I doing? And it's like, but you but instead of leaving,

1271
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 1: I keep trying to find my safety within the relationship.

1272
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 1: And I clearly wasn't feeling it, like it wasn't feeling

1273
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: safe or whatever it was, and so then it would

1274
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 1: get into that toxic dynamic that you just described, and

1275
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 1: that ultimately is still a me issue. Like it's just

1276
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 1: like you can't try to focus on changing our partner

1277
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 1: to make us feel safe. You either feel safe or

1278
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 1: you don't. And so if you don't get out, like

1279
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: you said, And this is one of the programs which

1280
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 1: I'll go in. So I don't usually go into a

1281
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 1: program on a podcast, but I will, so we've got

1282
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 1: the anxious and avoidant style of attachments, right, So do

1283
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 1: you want to share which one you are? You don't?

1284
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: I mean honestly, like in a lot of my relationships

1285
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: now I'm secure, like I don't feel it, but when

1286
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 1: I'm with a partner that kind of goes back and forth.

1287
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 1: I turned into the anxious side very fast. Okay, cool,

1288
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 1: So you'll attracting the avoidance, right, So that's the opposite.

1289
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 1: So if we look at the anxious like, there's a

1290
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 1: fear underneath it, then there's a program underneath it. Okay.

1291
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,200
Speaker 1: So if we look at the anxious one, what do

1292
01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 1: you think? What fear do you think is driving you? Um?

1293
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 1: I just I think I have a really hard time

1294
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 1: trusting the masculine. I've been cheated on. Um. I grew

1295
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 1: up in an alcoholic home where my dad was an alcoholic.

1296
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 1: So I don't know that I've ever developed that trust. Yeah.

1297
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 1: So that's definitely a byproduct, right, that's the emotional byproduct.

1298
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 1: But there's a fear there, right, There'll be a fear

1299
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 1: underneath it. So if someone withdraws, what do you want

1300
01:01:59,920 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 1: to do, um, figure out why they were drawing? Yeah,

1301
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 1: so you want to move towards them. So what are

1302
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:10,880
Speaker 1: you trying to avoid in that um being hurt, betrayed,

1303
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 1: or left? Being left? Is it? So anxious is driven

1304
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 1: by a fear of loss. Okay, so you're gonna wanna

1305
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:23,480
Speaker 1: look for closeness reassurance. But what people miss like we

1306
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 1: have needs in a relationship like your one's probably like

1307
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:30,000
Speaker 1: closeness and communication and might be touched it might be access,

1308
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:33,920
Speaker 1: service whatever. They're all nice and fluffy, but they're bullshit. Right,

1309
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:37,160
Speaker 1: there's five main needs that we have as humans that

1310
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:43,040
Speaker 1: I've delineated. There's rejection, abandonment, humiliation, victimization, and betrayal. These

1311
01:02:43,040 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 1: are the five core needs of our unconscious mind. Right,

1312
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:50,120
Speaker 1: So if we look at this, your unconscious need will

1313
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 1: be rejection. So you're line yourself up with men that

1314
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 1: don't honor you, that don't serve you, that will you know,

1315
01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 1: not honor your needs, will not give you exactly what

1316
01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 1: you want and need, and you'll line yourself up with

1317
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 1: that because your father wouldn't have been able to do

1318
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 1: that for you, so he would have been absent. So

1319
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 1: you probably attracted in men that emotionally unavailable like your

1320
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 1: father would have been. Right, So what happens is that's

1321
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,640
Speaker 1: part of the anxious. This is the chance. And then

1322
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 1: we look at the avoidance. So what does the avoidant

1323
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 1: or the withdrawn attachment style the avoidant, like, what do

1324
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 1: they do in those? They pull away? Yeah, they move away?

1325
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,960
Speaker 1: So what so what do you think they're fear? Its

1326
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 1: um in meashment, not quite taken over, being suffocated yep,

1327
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:43,680
Speaker 1: being seen? Oh being seen? Yeah, they so they shut

1328
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:46,520
Speaker 1: down because when they get too close, they open up,

1329
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 1: and then that becomes overwhelming for them because when they

1330
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:52,200
Speaker 1: were seen as a child, that became a place of

1331
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:56,439
Speaker 1: punishment or lack of stability, lack of security. Oh my god,

1332
01:03:56,440 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 1: that makes so much sense. Okay, yeah, so you're wanting

1333
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 1: to be like show me, show me, show me, and

1334
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 1: they're going, whoa war war. That's they're like, I know

1335
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:14,800
Speaker 1: what happens is they're emotionally unavailable. But then you would

1336
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 1: have also been emotionally unavailable as well, because your deepest

1337
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:22,560
Speaker 1: fear is actually intimacy and opening up. That's your unconscious

1338
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:25,920
Speaker 1: fear is intimacy. Your conscious fear is abandonment, that's the

1339
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 1: fear of loss. Your unconscious fear is deep intimacy. Because

1340
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 1: if I am consciously worried about them leaving. If I

1341
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 1: show all of me and I give that to them

1342
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:38,080
Speaker 1: and they leave, then that confirms the very fear that

1343
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:40,640
Speaker 1: I'm trying to avoid. So then I attract someone in

1344
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 1: that has to be withdrawn, which by virtue of that,

1345
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: is going to leave me anyway, because that's what I believe, right.

1346
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: So this is the construct of physics. But underneath that,

1347
01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:52,360
Speaker 1: there's a program in the form of negation that's running

1348
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 1: the show. So if there's a fear of loss and

1349
01:04:54,480 --> 01:04:57,960
Speaker 1: a fear of being seen, the behavior is to withdraw

1350
01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:00,960
Speaker 1: the other behaviors to move to war woods. What is

1351
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 1: there an absence of in all of that? More intimacy? Safe?

1352
01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 1: Else safety? So I want you to say it back

1353
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:14,120
Speaker 1: to me. I'm not safe. I'm not safe. Say it again,

1354
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 1: I'm not safe. Say it again, I'm not safe. I'm

1355
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:26,280
Speaker 1: not safe. How does that feel makes cray? Yeah? I

1356
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 1: just sit with that for a moment, and I just

1357
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:30,680
Speaker 1: want to acknowledge this. Thank you for letting me go there.

1358
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:32,920
Speaker 1: How beautiful this is that I can go there with you.

1359
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 1: Say it again, I'm not safe, I'm not safe. Yeah,

1360
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 1: and just feel into that little girl that didn't feel

1361
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 1: safe around her father. Because that's what's coming up, and

1362
01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 1: that's what we're reconciling right now. I'm almost going to

1363
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:49,040
Speaker 1: cry because it's like a feeling coming up with me.

1364
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 1: It is a beautiful moment for you because now what

1365
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 1: we've done is we've been able to put together what's

1366
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 1: been driving you for so many years. And so you'll

1367
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 1: attracting men that will reveal this for you, that will

1368
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 1: reveal what you're not safe. Yeah, the programmers, I'm not safe.

1369
01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 1: And this is beautiful because people are witnessing exactly how

1370
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 1: the mind operates and the biophysics in the body. You're

1371
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:18,120
Speaker 1: having a release at the deepest level now through this

1372
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 1: program being opened up. And so if we look at this,

1373
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:27,120
Speaker 1: how old you really? Forty will say thirty nine, And

1374
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 1: you're safe right now. You're safe right now. Yeah they

1375
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 1: give me want to cram more. Yeah, it's okay, but

1376
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:45,160
Speaker 1: you're safe right now. Yeah. Yes. How many decisions do

1377
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 1: you think you've made from you know, the style of

1378
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 1: hair that you've got, to the artwork in the background,

1379
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: to the clothes that you're wearing since you were born

1380
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:57,600
Speaker 1: out of fear, just generally anything like what you ate

1381
01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 1: for breakfast, what you're going to do later, what you've done,

1382
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 1: and how many decision you've never made? I don't even know.

1383
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 1: Hundreds of millions, Okay, hundreds of millions, and you've you're

1384
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:13,160
Speaker 1: safe right now? Yeah, yes, how many of those decisions

1385
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:15,280
Speaker 1: must have worked out for you? If you've arrived at

1386
01:07:15,280 --> 01:07:17,720
Speaker 1: safety today at thirty nine years old and made hundreds

1387
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 1: of millions of decisions, A lot of them, A bit

1388
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:26,800
Speaker 1: more than that, a bit more than a lot, hundreds

1389
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:32,760
Speaker 1: of millions, every single one of them, oh, every single decision.

1390
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 1: By virtue of the fact that you have arrived at

1391
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:37,960
Speaker 1: safety today. Doesn't mean it was easy, It doesn't mean

1392
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: we condone certain behaviors, doesn't mean we want to repeat it.

1393
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:43,560
Speaker 1: But nevertheless, at thirty nine years old and hundreds of

1394
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 1: millions and decisions evidenced in your history, you've arrived at safety.

1395
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:51,840
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So now, what can your future be like?

1396
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:56,080
Speaker 1: In a relationship? Welcoming in intimacy. You've got a beautiful heart,

1397
01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:59,560
Speaker 1: you're a beautiful woman, and you've been stingy in the

1398
01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:03,040
Speaker 1: way that have been showing up because you're scared of intimacy,

1399
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: because you've been coming from a program that I'm not safe.

1400
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:09,080
Speaker 1: So is it actually a truth that you've not been safe?

1401
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:11,520
Speaker 1: Because you've arrived at safety, which means you've been safe

1402
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 1: the whole time, right, So what does your future look like? Um,

1403
01:08:19,120 --> 01:08:21,439
Speaker 1: if that's gone, because we've just seen that, it's not true.

1404
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:25,519
Speaker 1: There might have been hard situations, but you've arrived at safety.

1405
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:27,880
Speaker 1: If I said to you, right, Kelly, in for the

1406
01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:29,920
Speaker 1: next six years, you're going to arrive at safety every

1407
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:32,360
Speaker 1: single time. It doesn't matter what you say, it doesn't

1408
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,360
Speaker 1: matter what you do. You're taken care of by a

1409
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 1: divine force that we can't fully understand because you've got

1410
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:43,000
Speaker 1: evidence a success rate of arriving today at safety. So

1411
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 1: if that's gone, if I'm not safe isn't true, how

1412
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:49,600
Speaker 1: can you show up in your future? What sort of

1413
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:54,040
Speaker 1: person could you be without that there? Well, less anxious

1414
01:08:54,840 --> 01:09:01,439
Speaker 1: and probably I would imagine more authentic and with allowing

1415
01:09:01,479 --> 01:09:07,080
Speaker 1: for more intimacy. Remove them actually seen, yeah, remove them

1416
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:16,360
Speaker 1: more out of it, authentic, authentic, intimate, loving, spacious, free, free.

1417
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:18,880
Speaker 1: Actually thought of that one too. That was a good

1418
01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 1: breath out. You just took there as well. I did. Yeah,

1419
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 1: So your physiology is starting to change. It's just like

1420
01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:32,240
Speaker 1: I'm free, like feel into that. Yeah, it feels like

1421
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:35,960
Speaker 1: when you were asking me about the relationships, I felt

1422
01:09:36,040 --> 01:09:38,640
Speaker 1: my shoulders get tight, like it's like this weight. And

1423
01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:41,439
Speaker 1: so when you're said free, and that was what I

1424
01:09:41,479 --> 01:09:45,200
Speaker 1: was thinking, it was like, right, like, yeah, you can

1425
01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:48,760
Speaker 1: let it go. Yeah, that's the biophysics of it. Right.

1426
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 1: So when we when we shift the way we see something,

1427
01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:54,519
Speaker 1: you've been safe your whole life, but you've just been

1428
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:57,560
Speaker 1: in the idea that you're not going to be safe,

1429
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:00,360
Speaker 1: and that program if I'm Not Safe, has been riving

1430
01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:02,439
Speaker 1: the show for you. And now you get to have

1431
01:10:02,479 --> 01:10:05,040
Speaker 1: this beautiful moment of experience to understand, Wow, this is

1432
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 1: what I've been doing the whole time. And so now

1433
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:12,280
Speaker 1: knowing that you will arrive at safety, what what can

1434
01:10:12,320 --> 01:10:15,719
Speaker 1: you access with that? I mean to me, I can't

1435
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:19,439
Speaker 1: stop thinking the word freedom. That's it. It's just it

1436
01:10:19,520 --> 01:10:23,519
Speaker 1: feels because I think the message or the things that

1437
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:25,680
Speaker 1: happened to me are like, don't get in that same

1438
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,559
Speaker 1: kind of relationship, avoid that kind of man like. But

1439
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:31,679
Speaker 1: it's all my mind thinking and trying to think out

1440
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:34,920
Speaker 1: of it, you know, and don't think about a red car,

1441
01:10:35,680 --> 01:10:38,760
Speaker 1: right exactly. Don't think about a yellow balloon, don't think

1442
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:42,519
Speaker 1: about a pink elephant, don't get into that relationship, don't

1443
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:44,960
Speaker 1: talk to that man, don't be with that man. You're

1444
01:10:45,040 --> 01:10:47,439
Speaker 1: creating the very thing that you say that you don't want.

1445
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:51,400
Speaker 1: It's so true because in the I'm Not Safe program

1446
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:53,680
Speaker 1: that's running the show, what do you think you're going

1447
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:58,240
Speaker 1: to attract in circumstances that make you feel unsafe? But

1448
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,679
Speaker 1: the paradoxes is they're actually say to you because they're

1449
01:11:00,720 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 1: predictable and familiar, and so now you get to explore

1450
01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:08,839
Speaker 1: a whole new world without this constraint if I'm not safe,

1451
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:11,960
Speaker 1: because we've just by awareness, we've dissolved it. Now you

1452
01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:14,599
Speaker 1: can see the pattern, which is fear of loss, anxious attachment,

1453
01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:17,560
Speaker 1: fear of being saying with drawn attachment so emotionally unavailable

1454
01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:20,160
Speaker 1: men that would be maybe chaotic and unstable. Is the

1455
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:22,599
Speaker 1: blueprint with which you've been running by it to prove

1456
01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:25,360
Speaker 1: to yourself that you're not safe. Congratulations, You've got to

1457
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:27,200
Speaker 1: be right about the fact that you weren't safe by

1458
01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:29,559
Speaker 1: lining yourself up with it. But what we did through

1459
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:34,040
Speaker 1: the questioning, through the questioning, is to dissolve that through

1460
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:36,479
Speaker 1: the evidence that even though things would have been really

1461
01:11:36,520 --> 01:11:40,040
Speaker 1: difficult for you, all of those circumstances have lined up

1462
01:11:40,040 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 1: in events for you to be who you are today,

1463
01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:44,439
Speaker 1: to see the fact that you've been running from the

1464
01:11:44,560 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 1: program if I'm not safe, which we can now get

1465
01:11:47,240 --> 01:11:49,240
Speaker 1: rid of, and now you get to show up in

1466
01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:51,559
Speaker 1: the world. Now you get to be a space for

1467
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 1: love and acceptance and intimacy in your authenticity, in your

1468
01:11:54,880 --> 01:11:58,160
Speaker 1: full expression, without the fear of being rejected, without the

1469
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:01,000
Speaker 1: actual demand of being rejected, with out the unconscious need

1470
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:04,479
Speaker 1: to be rejected. You can see all that because really,

1471
01:12:04,520 --> 01:12:06,960
Speaker 1: if we look at it, who's been rejecting? Who in

1472
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:12,400
Speaker 1: all of this am I rejecting myself? Yeah? And you

1473
01:12:12,439 --> 01:12:15,679
Speaker 1: know who else you're rejecting. You're rejecting all the good

1474
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:17,960
Speaker 1: men out there because you're not giving them an opportunity

1475
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,920
Speaker 1: to love you because you're too busy trying to be

1476
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:22,840
Speaker 1: right about the fact that you're not safe. Oh my god,

1477
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:28,599
Speaker 1: So you've been rejecting them. No one's been rejecting you

1478
01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:33,599
Speaker 1: except yourself. Wow? Yeah, Like, how does that feel? I mean,

1479
01:12:33,720 --> 01:12:42,200
Speaker 1: mind blown? That is so fascinating. It's right, I mean

1480
01:12:42,240 --> 01:12:45,160
Speaker 1: I feel it. It is exactly right, and it is

1481
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:47,760
Speaker 1: true what you say about a lot of women, and

1482
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:51,000
Speaker 1: particularly me, I can have gotten stuck on there's no

1483
01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:53,120
Speaker 1: good men out there for a really long time. I

1484
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:56,040
Speaker 1: hated that, Like I just was like, oh, there's another asshole,

1485
01:12:56,120 --> 01:12:59,840
Speaker 1: you know, because but that was what I was drawing in. Yeah,

1486
01:13:00,240 --> 01:13:04,080
Speaker 1: proving my point to myself. Yeah, correct, Right, So what

1487
01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:08,439
Speaker 1: we did just there is we started to dissolve thirty

1488
01:13:08,479 --> 01:13:12,320
Speaker 1: five thirty nine years of not feeling safe. That's why

1489
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:15,000
Speaker 1: you started to cry. That was the release. It's coming

1490
01:13:15,040 --> 01:13:19,080
Speaker 1: from the body. The psychology informs our biology. So when

1491
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:21,800
Speaker 1: we have that release, when the program opens up, there's

1492
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:24,759
Speaker 1: a release there. So now by seeing is you can't

1493
01:13:24,760 --> 01:13:27,680
Speaker 1: help but be a different person because we've expanded your awareness,

1494
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:30,519
Speaker 1: especially around the rejection that you've actually been rejecting the good.

1495
01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:35,760
Speaker 1: Now now they'll probably be a line of there will

1496
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:38,400
Speaker 1: be a line of beautiful men waiting to honor you

1497
01:13:38,479 --> 01:13:40,760
Speaker 1: and treat you like the woman that you are. But

1498
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:42,960
Speaker 1: you've just been going nut, I'm too busy being right

1499
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:48,400
Speaker 1: about the fact that you're all assholes. Well jeez, now

1500
01:13:48,400 --> 01:13:52,240
Speaker 1: I'm excited to start dating. Yeah, get out there, do it,

1501
01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:55,240
Speaker 1: let it, Let it just work for you and feel

1502
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:58,960
Speaker 1: into that that there's no truth to you not being safe.

1503
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:02,200
Speaker 1: You've arrived at safety thirty nine years old, making hundreds

1504
01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:05,680
Speaker 1: of millions of choices. You're going to be safe. It's

1505
01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:08,200
Speaker 1: going to be okay, and you'll be okay until you're

1506
01:14:08,200 --> 01:14:10,439
Speaker 1: not okay, and at that point you won't care anyway

1507
01:14:10,479 --> 01:14:12,920
Speaker 1: because you'll be dead and you'll be in a much happier,

1508
01:14:12,960 --> 01:14:15,840
Speaker 1: healthier place than this fucking mad world that around at

1509
01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:21,400
Speaker 1: the moment. Oh my gosh, thank you. That was an

1510
01:14:21,439 --> 01:14:25,800
Speaker 1: unexpected gift for my day, so I appreciate. Yeah, well,

1511
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:27,760
Speaker 1: then that was a gift from me to you. Now

1512
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:29,800
Speaker 1: you need to go and be the gift to the

1513
01:14:29,840 --> 01:14:33,400
Speaker 1: world that you already are that you just couldn't see. Okay, deal,

1514
01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:39,800
Speaker 1: you have yourself a deal awesome? Good virtual handshake? Yes, okay,

1515
01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:42,439
Speaker 1: tell people where that they can find you, because do

1516
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:45,600
Speaker 1: you take virtual clients. I know you're in Australia. I

1517
01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:48,240
Speaker 1: obviously have most of my listeners in America, so if

1518
01:14:48,240 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 1: they wanted to read you, how would they do that?

1519
01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:55,000
Speaker 1: Pure Jaguar on Instagram is one way. My website Jaguar

1520
01:14:55,080 --> 01:15:00,200
Speaker 1: heart dot com. I do so phone face to face. Ever,

1521
01:15:00,240 --> 01:15:02,559
Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter all I need is a phone really,

1522
01:15:02,600 --> 01:15:05,599
Speaker 1: because I can hear what's going on um and people

1523
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:07,840
Speaker 1: will have just gotten an idea of how I work

1524
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:10,280
Speaker 1: just by doing out with you, so we can see

1525
01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:12,160
Speaker 1: how quickly can we can resolve. You know, we just

1526
01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:14,720
Speaker 1: resolved three decades three and a half decades of not

1527
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:17,439
Speaker 1: feeling safe in you know, maybe three or four minutes.

1528
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:19,559
Speaker 1: That's how quick it can happen. And by the tea

1529
01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:22,599
Speaker 1: is coming up, that's the release. You'll probably see some

1530
01:15:22,720 --> 01:15:25,439
Speaker 1: people drop in, some old people might come back. Let

1531
01:15:25,479 --> 01:15:27,880
Speaker 1: the world of physics and quantum physics take care of you.

1532
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:31,519
Speaker 1: So thank you for the opportunity for allowing me to

1533
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:33,519
Speaker 1: do that, and being so beautiful and vulnerable and your

1534
01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:36,240
Speaker 1: approach to it. Just step up to be able to

1535
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:38,160
Speaker 1: do that. That's what you know leaders do, and it

1536
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:39,920
Speaker 1: takes real courage to do that. So I just want

1537
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:42,240
Speaker 1: to honor you and acknowledge you in that and how

1538
01:15:42,320 --> 01:15:44,080
Speaker 1: much I respect the courage for you to do that.

1539
01:15:44,160 --> 01:15:46,519
Speaker 1: So thank you for giving me the opportunity to do that.

1540
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:53,639
Speaker 1: Thank you, Gosh, Craig, this is very emotional. I really

1541
01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:57,040
Speaker 1: appreciate it. Seriously, this was amazing for me, and I

1542
01:15:57,080 --> 01:15:59,200
Speaker 1: hope that the listeners did get the taste of what

1543
01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:01,759
Speaker 1: this can be like this. None of this was planned

1544
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:04,559
Speaker 1: or I can't fabricate this. You guys know me. I'll

1545
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:07,000
Speaker 1: do this every now and again, but it just comes up,

1546
01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:09,559
Speaker 1: and so I'm glad we got to share that with everyone.

1547
01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:13,320
Speaker 1: Thank you, Yeah, me so thank you. Thank you guys

1548
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:16,360
Speaker 1: so much for listening. Thanks for listening to The Velvet's

1549
01:16:16,439 --> 01:16:19,680
Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, where we believe everyone has

1550
01:16:19,680 --> 01:16:22,360
Speaker 1: a little velvet and a little edge. Subscribe for more

1551
01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:27,120
Speaker 1: conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge

1552
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:28,600
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts.