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Speaker 1: Pushkin, dance far away our clopla hands here the letter

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Speaker 1: of a day?

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Speaker 2: Clock? Crap?

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Speaker 1: What's the letter?

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Speaker 2: Clap? Crap?

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Speaker 3: What's the letter?

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Speaker 2: Clap? Clap? Clock clap?

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Speaker 1: What's the letter?

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Speaker 2: What's the letter?

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Speaker 3: A letter of that?

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Speaker 1: I couldn't have said it or sag it any better myself.

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Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by the letter F.

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Speaker 1: And that's because we're talking about feelings, big feelings. There's

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Speaker 1: a whole spectrum of big feelings that we can experience,

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Speaker 1: things like anticipation, wonder, and joy, and also anger, sadness,

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Speaker 1: and fear. Right now, for example, I'm feeling very excited

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Speaker 1: about our special guest. Big word. Are you excited to?

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Speaker 3: Well, not so much right now?

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Speaker 1: Hmm, sounds like big bird. Maybe having some big feelings too,

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Speaker 1: and not the fun ones here. When negative emotions come up,

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Speaker 1: our instinct is often to run away from them or

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Speaker 1: just stuff them down and pretend we're feeling aokay. But

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Speaker 1: we can't wish all our tough emotional weather away, and

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Speaker 1: the science shows we probably shouldn't want to, because are

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Speaker 1: not so nice. Feelings are there to teach us important

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Speaker 1: lessons if we're smart enough to listen. But listening to

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Speaker 1: our big feelings doesn't have to mean suffering while we

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Speaker 1: go through them. There are lots of ways to cope

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Speaker 1: with difficult emotions, ones that work well. Whether we're an adult,

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Speaker 1: a kid, or a very bummed out big yellow bird.

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Speaker 2: Gee.

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Speaker 1: Our minds are constantly telling us what to do to

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Speaker 1: be happy. But what if our minds are wrong? What

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Speaker 1: if our minds are lying to us, leading us away

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Speaker 1: from what will really make us happy. The good news

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Speaker 1: is that understanding the science of the mind can point

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Speaker 1: us all back in the right direction. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Happiness Lab with me, doctor Laurie Santo's and my

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Speaker 1: new friend from Sesame Street, Big Bird, So big Bird,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Happiness Lad.

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Speaker 3: Hi everybody.

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Speaker 1: I really am so happy that you're here. I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: excited to talk all about feelings with you. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I'm noticing that you don't look very happy or excited.

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Speaker 1: You're usually all smiley and full of energy, but today

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Speaker 1: your beak is frowning and your head is hanging down.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't look like you're feeling excited.

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Speaker 3: Well, I was excited, but not anymore.

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Speaker 1: Oh why is that?

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Speaker 3: Well? I was excited to roller skate around Sesame Street today.

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Speaker 3: I was going to skate to Hooper's store and wait

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Speaker 3: to Elma from his window, and even roll past Oscars Can.

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Speaker 3: But now it's all rainy and wet outside and I

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Speaker 3: can't skate anymore.

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Speaker 1: Oh, big Bird, it sounds like you're feeling disappointed. I

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Speaker 1: am disappointed. Is how you feel when something doesn't happen

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Speaker 1: the way you wanted it to, Like how you wanted

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Speaker 1: to spend the day skating but couldn't because of the weather.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I am feeling disappointed. I really wanted to skate.

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Speaker 1: I know you did, and it's hard to feel disappointed.

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Speaker 1: But it's okay to feel that way.

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Speaker 3: I don't like this feeling. I don't want to feel

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Speaker 3: it at all. I wanted to go away.

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Speaker 1: I totally get it, But big Bird, big feelings like

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Speaker 1: disappointment don't just go away that quickly.

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Speaker 3: Well wait, wait, wait, I know how to make this

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Speaker 3: feeling go away. I'll make the rain stop and then

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Speaker 3: I can go outside and roller skate and I won't

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Speaker 3: feel disappointed anymore.

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Speaker 1: Well, it doesn't really work that way, but there are

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Speaker 1: things we can do to help us feel.

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Speaker 3: Good and not Now, Doctor Laurie I'm gonna make this

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Speaker 3: rain stop, but I'll be back later, but bye.

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Speaker 1: What I was trying to tell big Bird is that

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Speaker 1: like the rain, we can't wish our feelings away, and

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Speaker 1: we shouldn't want to either.

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Speaker 4: I think it is very normal to want to suppress

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Speaker 4: certain emotions because some of them do feel really difficult. Right.

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Speaker 4: This is doctor Joy Harden Bradford. But it's important to

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Speaker 4: know that no emotions and feelings are bad. It is

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Speaker 4: really just our reactions and how we respond to them.

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Speaker 1: Doctor Joy is a therapist, an author, and host of

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Speaker 1: the podcast Therapy for Black Girls.

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Speaker 4: But it is okay. It is important for us to

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Speaker 4: allow for all of our feelings because that is what

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Speaker 4: makes us human.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: We're not robots, and so the fact that we can

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Speaker 4: have lots of different emotions and feelings is something that

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Speaker 4: we should be embracing about ourselves. It is a part

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Speaker 4: of what makes us special and unique.

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Speaker 1: But our feelings don't just make us who we are.

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Speaker 1: They also have an important purpose. They're vital signals, helpful

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Speaker 1: messages which we should heed if we want to stay

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Speaker 1: healthy and happy. Why, you may ask, is a big

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Speaker 1: feeling like anger or disappointment or sadness a message we

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Speaker 1: shouldn't block out. Well, let's consider another signal that can

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Speaker 1: sometimes feel unpleasant pain. If you touch a hot stove,

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Speaker 1: you'll automatically experience an uncomfortable feeling. Oh, your body's way

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Speaker 1: of saying, yo, something is wrong. Pay attention and move

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Speaker 1: your hand now. Uncomfortable emotional feelings work the same way.

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Speaker 1: When we experience disappointment like big bird did, our brains

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Speaker 1: are saying, hey, something we expected didn't happen. What gives

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Speaker 1: we should fix that? When we feel angry or frustrated,

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Speaker 1: am I just telling us, hey, something is unfair? Right now,

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Speaker 1: make it right? Sadness signals that one of our important

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Speaker 1: needs isn't being met, and the feeling of overwhelm usually

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Speaker 1: means there's way too much on our plate and we

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Speaker 1: might need a break.

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Speaker 4: And so paying attention to our feelings can really clue

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Speaker 4: us into something else that may be going on. And

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Speaker 4: if we keep avoiding these feelings that feel scary for us,

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Speaker 4: we never teach ourselves that, hey, this was hard, but

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Speaker 4: I did it right. And so that's something I think

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Speaker 4: is really important for us to hold on to, is

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Speaker 4: that difficult things happen in life and They may feel

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Speaker 4: scary and really hard to go through, but we can

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Speaker 4: go through them, often with the support of people who

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Speaker 4: love us and can help us kind of face those

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Speaker 4: things that we are most afraid.

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Speaker 1: Of, Doctor Joyce. Right, our worry that will be swamped

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Speaker 1: by the unpleasantness of big feelings is often exaggerated, but

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Speaker 1: we can also learn practical strategies. I feel less overwhelmed

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Speaker 1: when bad things do happen, and doctor Joyce says we

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Speaker 1: should start learning these strategies as soon as we can.

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Speaker 4: Because emotions are a part of our lives, right, Like

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Speaker 4: there will be difficult things that come up throughout our lives,

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Speaker 4: and so I think as soon as possible for young people,

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Speaker 4: we can teach them about how to kind of take

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Speaker 4: the level down on their emotionality or how to take

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Speaker 4: care of themselves when they have big emotions.

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Speaker 1: Doctor joy things we need to explicitly teach kids to

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Speaker 1: manage their big feelings, a process that's called emotional self regulation.

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Speaker 1: She says, coaching kids and emotional self regulation is as

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Speaker 1: critical as teaching them their ABC's and one two threes.

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Speaker 4: I think there is never a time when you're too

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Speaker 4: young to learn, like how do you do a better

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Speaker 4: job of taking care of yourself and like learning how

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Speaker 4: to be a better human.

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Speaker 1: Research shows that children who struggle to manage emotions have

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Speaker 1: worse family and peer relationships, their performance in school suffers,

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Speaker 1: and they have a higher risk of developing emotional disorders

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Speaker 1: later in life. And doctor Joy has put this into

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Speaker 1: practice with her own two children.

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Speaker 4: So I have a nine year old and a seven

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Speaker 4: year old, and my family is in Louisiana, so we

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Speaker 4: will typically go and visit a couple of times a year,

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Speaker 4: and my seven year old always has a very very

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Speaker 4: very difficult time like leaving his grandparents, and it often means,

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Speaker 4: you know, like lots of crying and you know, like

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Speaker 4: some acting up, And so what I try to do

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Speaker 4: is like talk with him about the fact that it's

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Speaker 4: okay to miss your grandparents, to kind of breathe through

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Speaker 4: whatever you're feeling, and you know, to allow it.

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Speaker 1: Of course, children aren't the only ones who need lessons

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Speaker 1: and how to breathe through the tough times when it

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Speaker 1: comes to big feelings. We're all fragile kids at heart,

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Speaker 1: and that means that we adults also need strategies for

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Speaker 1: navigating our difficult emotions too.

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Speaker 4: You know. I think sometimes as parents it is also

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Speaker 4: very hard for us to like regulate ourselves when our

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Speaker 4: kids have big emotions, because we are really overworked and

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Speaker 4: over busy. I think what often gets activated for us

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Speaker 4: as parents is like, oh my gosh, I don't know

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Speaker 4: what to do, like I don't know how to help them,

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Speaker 4: And what often ends up happening is that we get

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Speaker 4: maybe irritable, are angry, and like maybe start yelling or

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Speaker 4: you know, doing things that we would not typically do

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Speaker 4: in the interest of like trying to help our child.

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Speaker 1: Doctor Joyce's first suggestion for big people is to remember

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Speaker 1: that big emotions like anger and irritability are helpful. There's

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Speaker 1: signals that are telling us something important about our unmet needs.

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Speaker 4: So have you not been getting enough sleep? Are you

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Speaker 4: feeling under value? Do you feel like there should be

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Speaker 4: somebody who's helping you more?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 4: That typically is a clue that something else is going on,

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Speaker 4: And so I think that that is, especially for parents,

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Speaker 4: something to pay attention to that if you're finding yourself

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Speaker 4: having these responses that are way bigger than the situation

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Speaker 4: called for, there's probably a need to slow down and

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Speaker 4: figure out what else is going on in the background.

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Speaker 1: After the break, we'll talk more about how to slow

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Speaker 1: down and interrogate our big feelings. We'll also hear that,

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Speaker 1: just like a passing rainstorm, the dark clouds of our

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Speaker 1: emotions will often quickly clare up to reveal something sunnier.

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Speaker 1: The Happiness Lab will be right back. We're back with

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Speaker 1: Big Bird hi there, who still looks like he's disappointed.

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Speaker 3: I am. I tried, and I tried to make the

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Speaker 3: rain stop so I could roller skate. I wished it away.

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Speaker 3: I like saying rain, rain go away. And I even

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Speaker 3: asked the clouds really nicely to stop raining.

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Speaker 1: And did they listen.

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Speaker 3: No, it's still all rainy outside, Big Bird.

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Speaker 1: I know you tried really hard, but we can't wish

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Speaker 1: the weather away. Feelings are just like that. We can't

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Speaker 1: make them go away, but we can work through them

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Speaker 1: to help ourselves feel better. We can yep, and I've

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Speaker 1: got another special guest to have some great tips on

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Speaker 1: just how we can do that.

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Speaker 2: We've always focused on children's social and emotional development. Sesame

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Speaker 2: Street is about laying those foundational skills to get ready

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Speaker 2: for school, but to get ready for life. There are

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Speaker 2: life lessons taught on Sesame.

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Speaker 1: Street doctor Rosemary Trulio is Senior vice president for Curriculum

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Speaker 1: and Content Sesame Workshop. Rosemary is also a parent, so

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Speaker 1: she knows just how hard it can be to help

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Speaker 1: kids when they're facing challenging emotions.

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Speaker 2: We all know young children when they're overwhelmed by their

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Speaker 2: big feelings, they kind of shut down. We can't reach them,

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Speaker 2: we can't talk to them, we can't reason with them.

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Speaker 1: But Rosemary says that adults can help to coach their

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Speaker 1: kids through tough emotional weather. The first step is awareness.

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Speaker 1: When kids are experiencing a big emotion, we need to

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Speaker 1: explicitly acknowledge it, and then to explicitly say that it's

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Speaker 1: okay for them to be feeling whatever it is they're feeling.

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Speaker 2: Children need to feel validated, all right. They need to

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Speaker 2: know that you understand that they're having a big feeling.

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Speaker 2: They also need to build what we're calling emotional vocabulary.

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Speaker 2: Children don't often have the words to describe what they're feeling,

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Speaker 2: which is a problem because labeling our emotions often takes

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Speaker 2: away some of their sting. Rosemary suggests that caregivers walk

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Speaker 2: children through some possible labels for their big feelings, something

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Speaker 2: like you must be feeling sad or frustrated or disappointed,

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Speaker 2: and be sure to get specific. Your goal is to

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Speaker 2: help the young people around you to build up as

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Speaker 2: wide and detailed and emotional vocabulary as possible. And once

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Speaker 2: you've helped identify a child's big feeling, then it's time

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Speaker 2: to help them manage that emotion. Rosemary says the most

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Speaker 2: effective way for parents to do that is not through words,

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Speaker 2: but through behavior. We as adults are modeling for our

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Speaker 2: children how we react to our own.

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Speaker 1: Big feelings, whether we like it or not, our kids

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Speaker 1: see the strategies we use to deal with our own

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Speaker 1: challenging moments, which means adults need to be prepared to.

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Speaker 2: And we need a whole toolbox of strategies to help

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Speaker 2: us be with our emotions so that we could be

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Speaker 2: in the moment for our children.

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Speaker 1: Just as we have rain gear to go out and

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Speaker 1: stormy weather, we need to be ready with our mental

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Speaker 1: umbrellas and rubber boots to tackle nasty emotional weather. That'll

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Speaker 1: help us write out the storm and also let us

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Speaker 1: serve as role models for the littler people around us.

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Speaker 2: See us engage in these strategies, they will then copy

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Speaker 2: and be able to learn and use these strategies for

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Speaker 2: their own big feelings.

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Speaker 1: So big bird, let's think about this. It's raining outside, right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and what might help keep you dry from the rain?

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Speaker 3: An umbrella, that's right? And what else? An umbrella hat

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Speaker 3: that could wear too?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 1: What else? What's something you could wear on your body

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Speaker 1: or your feet?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Oh, how about a raincoat. I have a big

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Speaker 3: yellow one that matches my feathers, and on my feet

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Speaker 3: I can. I can wear my galoshes.

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Speaker 1: They're blue exactly. Your rain gear sounds very fashionable, by

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Speaker 1: the way.

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Speaker 3: I love my rain gear. My goloshes make the best

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Speaker 3: splashes in puddles when I jump around. Splash, splash, splashed, splash. Hey,

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Speaker 3: if I put on my rain gear, I can go

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Speaker 3: outside and jump in puddles. See you later, doctor Loryeaber, Well, it.

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Speaker 1: Was good to see my friend smiling again. I guess

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Speaker 1: while he's off enjoying those puddles. We can get a

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Speaker 1: bit more into the specifics. So what are the psychological

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Speaker 1: umbrellas and galoshes that people of all ages can use

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Speaker 1: to keep dry in an emotional storm. Podcaster and therapist

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Speaker 1: doctor Joy Harden Bradford has some ideas the key for.

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Speaker 4: A lot of these strategies is to practice them before

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Speaker 4: you need them, right, because you don't want to be

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Speaker 4: having like an attack of big feelings and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 4: why did I put that index card that I wrote

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Speaker 4: that thing on. So the key where a lot of

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Speaker 4: this is really to kind of get it together before

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Speaker 4: you actually need them.

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Speaker 1: Like many things in life, successful emotional management comes down

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Speaker 1: to advanced preparation. And just as we keep an umbrella

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Speaker 1: or a rain hat by the door, doctor Joyce suggests

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Speaker 1: we create an emotional weather coping kit, a box we

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Speaker 1: can open up whenever a big feeling strikes.

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Speaker 4: So could you put a stress ball in there, or

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Speaker 4: some play doo that you can kind of play with

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Speaker 4: and hold in your hand. Can you include one of

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Speaker 4: your favorite scents, either through a lotion or a candle,

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Speaker 4: maybe a puzzle book that you enjoy doing, a picture

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Speaker 4: of you and friends or family doing something that you

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Speaker 4: really enjoyed. And putting all of this together in a

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Speaker 4: box so that when you have these big emotions, when

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Speaker 4: you feel an attack of big feelings, you can go

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Speaker 4: to your kid and in stand some time there.

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Speaker 1: Enjoying a relaxing scent or texture, works to regulate our

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Speaker 1: emotions because sensations like smell and touch bring us out

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Speaker 1: of our big feelings. Doctor Joy even recommends a little

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Speaker 1: cold therapy when a big emotion hits, run your wrist

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Speaker 1: under cold water or grab an ice cube from the freezer.

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Speaker 4: The experience of holding an ice cube in your hand

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Speaker 4: or experiencing cold water really tricks your brain into focusing

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Speaker 4: on that as opposed to whatever it was you were

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Speaker 4: worried or feeling before.

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Speaker 1: But Doctor Joy's personal favorite hack is exercise. Moving our

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Speaker 1: bodies helps us feel more grounded and less emotionally volatile.

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Speaker 4: And it doesn't have to be super strenuous, right Like

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Speaker 4: you don't have to run a tin k. You could

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Speaker 4: just dance in the middle of your living realm more

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Speaker 4: go for a walk around the block. When I find

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Speaker 4: myself like overwhelmed and like, okay, I just need a moment,

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Speaker 4: I will often reach for my hula hoop and just

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Speaker 4: give myself some time. So it's a hula hoop in

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Speaker 4: the middle of my kitchen, and that typically brings down

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Speaker 4: my big feelings.

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Speaker 1: But there's a way to tackle big feelings without breaking

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Speaker 1: a sweat. We can just use our breath let's pause

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Speaker 1: for a quick nerdy biology lesson. Big feelings like anger

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Speaker 1: and fear are governed by what's called our autonomic nervous system.

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Speaker 1: Its job is to prepare our bodies for emergencies. But

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Speaker 1: the autonomic nervous system has two parts. Most of the time,

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Speaker 1: our bodies are in rest and digest mode, which is

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Speaker 1: governed by the parasympathetic part of that system. But when

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Speaker 1: challenges arise, we switch to fight or flight mode and

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Speaker 1: turn on the sympathetic nervous system instead. The sympathetic nervous

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Speaker 1: system is what speeds up our heart rate when we

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Speaker 1: get mad and makes our skin crawl and our pupils

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Speaker 1: dilate when we feel scared. We can't really control when

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Speaker 1: the sympathetic fighter flight response kicks in, but we can

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Speaker 1: dial down the stress it causes with deep belly breaths.

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Speaker 1: And that's because slow breathing helps our rest and digest

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Speaker 1: parasympathetic system come back online.

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Speaker 4: When we focus on our breath. We may realize that

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Speaker 4: our heart rate decreases. When we focus on our breath,

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Speaker 4: we realize we have less tension like in our shoulders

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Speaker 4: or in our backs when we are focused on our breath.

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Speaker 4: We can kind of just have more clarity, and it

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Speaker 4: really just slows all of these things down so that

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Speaker 4: you are not feeling so overwhelmed. Because I think a

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Speaker 4: lot of times when we have big emotions, our heart

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Speaker 4: rate increases, we may feel sweaty, our hands may be shaky.

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Speaker 4: But if we can just focus on our breath and

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Speaker 4: focus on slowing it down a little bit, then we

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Speaker 4: see all of the rest of that slow down as well.

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Speaker 1: But there's still one more method, Doctor Joyce says we

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Speaker 1: should all be using to regulate our big feelings. We

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Speaker 1: need to make sure we're not facing life's big challenges alone.

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Speaker 4: We all maybe have the experience of like trying to

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Speaker 4: pick up a box that is too heavy. Then if

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Speaker 4: like your mom or your brother helps you to pick

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Speaker 4: it up, then it's a little lighter. And that is

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Speaker 4: the same kind of thing I think we can use

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Speaker 4: for when we have big feelings. So when we have

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Speaker 4: big feelings and we talk with other people about it,

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Speaker 4: it doesn't feel as heavy anymore.

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Speaker 1: Emotional self regulation involves the self, but it doesn't need

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Speaker 1: to take place by yourself. By talking with someone about

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Speaker 1: our big feelings, we can feel less isolated. That feeling

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Speaker 1: of common humanity we get from talking hard feelings out

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Speaker 1: also helps to reduce the shame that often comes from

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Speaker 1: experiencing strong emotions.

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Speaker 4: There's no emotion that you are feeling that someone else

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Speaker 4: has not failed.

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Speaker 1: Sharing our emotions with other people can also allow us

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Speaker 1: to get some much needed advice. It's a strategy that's

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Speaker 1: particularly helpful for young children who often need wiser counsel,

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Speaker 1: but adults shouldn't be shy of phoning in a wise

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Speaker 1: friend either, because that really unlocks the shame that I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of us have. A lot of us

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Speaker 1: don't really know all of what we're doing, and we're

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Speaker 1: all just trying to do the very best that we can.

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Speaker 1: And so I have found that sharing with other people,

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Speaker 1: like hey, I'm struggling with this thing, you really find

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Speaker 1: some community around that of other people saying like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we went through that and we didn't know what to

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Speaker 1: do either. And so I think being able to say

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Speaker 1: I don't know and I don't have all the answers

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Speaker 1: really releases some of that shame that can often make

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Speaker 1: us feel stuck.

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Speaker 3: Rain, Rain, go away.

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Speaker 1: It's time to take a quick break, but when we

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Speaker 1: get back, we'll check in on Big Birds and see

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Speaker 1: how his big feelings are going now that he's out

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Speaker 1: playing in the rain, the happiness lab will be right.

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Speaker 3: Bast splush splash, splush, splash, splush, splash, splush splash.

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Speaker 1: Big bird, you're back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: How is the puddle jumping?

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Speaker 3: Oh? It was. It was okay, just okay. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 3: the puddles were really fun and I made this one

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Speaker 3: splash that was so big it went sploosh.

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Speaker 1: Whoa, I mean that sounds big.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, but when I got back inside, I saw

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Speaker 3: my roller skates and they were just sitting there. Puddles

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Speaker 3: were fun, but I really really wanted to skate today,

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Speaker 3: and now I'm disappointed all over again.

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Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry you're feeling disappointed again.

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Speaker 3: Am I gonna feel this way forever?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: No, I know it feels like that, But feelings come

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Speaker 1: and go, just like how you were excited to jump

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Speaker 1: in puddles. You'll be excited again. But for now, there

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Speaker 1: are things we can do together to help you feel better.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: One of my favorites is a suggestion that I heard

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Speaker 1: from Sesame Workshops doctor Rosemary Trulio. It's called the glitter jar.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I love the glitter jar. It's used a lot at

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Speaker 2: sesame workshop.

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Speaker 1: The glitter jar is something you can make yourself or

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Speaker 1: with the help of your kids. All you do is

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Speaker 1: fill a sealable jar or bottle with water, a little glue,

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Speaker 1: and any brightly colored glitter. When big feelings strike, grab

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Speaker 1: your jar, shake it up, and watch all the colors

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Speaker 1: circle around inside the jar.

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Speaker 2: When you take the glitter jar, all the glitter is

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Speaker 2: swirling around. That glitter represents all the big feelings swirling

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Speaker 2: around inside our bodies.

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Speaker 1: Watching patiently as the glitter slowly settles gives us something

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Speaker 1: to focus on other than our big feelings. It also

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Speaker 1: gives us a moment to pause and catch our breath.

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Speaker 2: Physiologically, you are calming your body down, and that is

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Speaker 2: an opportunity then to talk about the big feeling you're

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Speaker 2: having because the jar has settled, but you have settled

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Speaker 2: those big feelings as well.

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Speaker 1: I figured it was just the sparkly thing to help

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Speaker 1: big bird regulate his disappointment.

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Speaker 3: Oh what is that.

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Speaker 1: It's called a glitter jar, big bird.

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Speaker 3: Oh well that's pretty Look at all the sparkly orange glitter.

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Speaker 3: Oh can I hold it? Can? I?

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Speaker 1: You sure can?

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Speaker 2: Here? You go.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: And now that you're the jar, let's try something together. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Breathe slowly in through your nose and slowly out through

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Speaker 1: your mouth. Now, give the jar a shake and watch

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Speaker 1: as the glitter swirls around. It's kind of like how

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Speaker 1: your feelings are swirling around in your body on the inside,

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Speaker 1: and watching the glitter float down to the bottom of

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Speaker 1: the jar can help us all feel relaxed.

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Speaker 3: Well, I am feeling a little bit better after shaking

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Speaker 3: the jar and watching the glitter.

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Speaker 1: You know, I think I've got one more thing that

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Speaker 1: might help you feel even better.

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Speaker 3: Okay, what is it?

442
00:21:44,876 --> 00:21:45,676
Speaker 1: How about a game?

443
00:21:46,476 --> 00:21:48,196
Speaker 3: I do like games? All right?

444
00:21:48,676 --> 00:21:48,956
Speaker 2: Great?

445
00:21:49,036 --> 00:21:51,436
Speaker 1: Well, this one is called five four three two one.

446
00:21:52,236 --> 00:21:53,916
Speaker 1: Five four three two one is a great way to

447
00:21:53,956 --> 00:21:56,796
Speaker 1: get out of your emotions and into your senses. You

448
00:21:56,836 --> 00:21:59,676
Speaker 1: can use it whenever a big feeling hits. Here's how

449
00:21:59,716 --> 00:22:03,396
Speaker 1: it works. You start by listing five things you can see,

450
00:22:03,636 --> 00:22:06,636
Speaker 1: followed by four things you can hear, then three things

451
00:22:06,636 --> 00:22:09,716
Speaker 1: you can touch, two things you can smell, and then

452
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,116
Speaker 1: one thing you can taste.

453
00:22:11,916 --> 00:22:14,716
Speaker 3: You know what I think, Doctor Lory, what's that big bird?

454
00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:17,876
Speaker 3: My friend the Count would like this game very much.

455
00:22:18,436 --> 00:22:20,636
Speaker 1: I bet he would, and maybe you can teach it

456
00:22:20,636 --> 00:22:22,796
Speaker 1: to him later. But what do you say, want to

457
00:22:22,836 --> 00:22:23,636
Speaker 1: try it with me? Now?

458
00:22:24,156 --> 00:22:26,276
Speaker 3: Okay, well let's try great.

459
00:22:26,436 --> 00:22:28,836
Speaker 1: So let's start off with the number five. I want

460
00:22:28,876 --> 00:22:31,516
Speaker 1: you to look all around you. What are five things

461
00:22:31,556 --> 00:22:32,156
Speaker 1: you can see?

462
00:22:32,356 --> 00:22:36,116
Speaker 3: Five things I can see? Well, I see you, Hi, doctor, LORI,

463
00:22:36,596 --> 00:22:37,316
Speaker 3: Hi big bird.

464
00:22:37,716 --> 00:22:38,156
Speaker 1: What else?

465
00:22:39,596 --> 00:22:43,556
Speaker 3: I see a pretty picture of a flower on the wall,

466
00:22:44,316 --> 00:22:48,236
Speaker 3: and uh, look there's a little squirrel outside the window.

467
00:22:48,996 --> 00:22:53,076
Speaker 3: And I see lots of colorful books on that shelf

468
00:22:53,116 --> 00:22:54,676
Speaker 3: over there? Is that? Five things?

469
00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:56,396
Speaker 1: Almost? Let's hear one more?

470
00:22:56,516 --> 00:22:57,036
Speaker 3: One more?

471
00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:58,156
Speaker 2: Uh?

472
00:22:58,196 --> 00:23:04,516
Speaker 3: And I see Oh, I see my orange feet.

473
00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:06,396
Speaker 1: And I hear them too, which is the next part

474
00:23:06,436 --> 00:23:08,956
Speaker 1: of the game. What are four things you can hear?

475
00:23:09,156 --> 00:23:11,996
Speaker 3: Four things I can hear well, my feet when I

476
00:23:12,036 --> 00:23:17,996
Speaker 3: go like this, and I can hear, Oh, that sounded

477
00:23:17,996 --> 00:23:23,316
Speaker 3: like a car driving by peep peep, And I don't

478
00:23:23,356 --> 00:23:25,276
Speaker 3: know something squeaky.

479
00:23:26,236 --> 00:23:30,196
Speaker 1: Oh that's my chair. Nice listening, big bird. How about

480
00:23:30,236 --> 00:23:30,716
Speaker 1: one more?

481
00:23:30,956 --> 00:23:34,916
Speaker 3: One more? Well, I'm listening, but I don't hear anything else.

482
00:23:35,156 --> 00:23:37,036
Speaker 1: I think I can help. I knew this button on

483
00:23:37,036 --> 00:23:38,796
Speaker 1: our soundboard would come in handy one day.

484
00:23:41,036 --> 00:23:46,516
Speaker 3: Chickens, I hear chickens plucking. That's a silly button, doctor Lorie.

485
00:23:46,556 --> 00:23:48,796
Speaker 1: What can I say? It's good for a laugh, and

486
00:23:48,876 --> 00:23:50,556
Speaker 1: it helped you get to four things you could hear,

487
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:54,556
Speaker 1: which brings us to the number three? Right, what are

488
00:23:54,636 --> 00:23:55,836
Speaker 1: three things you can touch?

489
00:23:56,156 --> 00:23:58,956
Speaker 3: Three things I can touch? Well, I can touch the

490
00:23:58,996 --> 00:24:02,676
Speaker 3: feathers on my tummy. They're so soft, and I can

491
00:24:03,196 --> 00:24:06,916
Speaker 3: I can touch this desk right here. It's it's very smooth,

492
00:24:07,636 --> 00:24:13,156
Speaker 3: And I can touch, doctor Lorie. Can I press one

493
00:24:13,156 --> 00:24:14,076
Speaker 3: of those buttons too?

494
00:24:14,396 --> 00:24:16,036
Speaker 1: Sure? You can try that one.

495
00:24:16,116 --> 00:24:22,636
Speaker 3: Okay, I can touch this button. Oh it's clapping, Oh

496
00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:25,596
Speaker 3: for me, thank you, thank you very much.

497
00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:27,836
Speaker 1: It's not button the best.

498
00:24:28,036 --> 00:24:28,876
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.

499
00:24:28,956 --> 00:24:31,596
Speaker 1: That brings us to two. What are two things you

500
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:32,196
Speaker 1: can smell?

501
00:24:32,476 --> 00:24:38,516
Speaker 3: Two things I can smell. I smell. Oh, I smell cookies, so.

502
00:24:38,556 --> 00:24:39,956
Speaker 1: Do I And they smell good.

503
00:24:40,196 --> 00:24:40,436
Speaker 3: Yeah.

504
00:24:40,556 --> 00:24:43,676
Speaker 1: I think Alan must be baking over at Hooper Store. Say,

505
00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:46,516
Speaker 1: big bird, why don't you pretend you're in Hooper Store?

506
00:24:46,796 --> 00:24:48,596
Speaker 1: What else might you smell if you were there?

507
00:24:49,396 --> 00:24:55,036
Speaker 3: Okay, if I was in Hooper Store? Well, Alan makes

508
00:24:55,356 --> 00:25:00,276
Speaker 3: all kinds of things there, like, oh, my favorite strawberry

509
00:25:00,276 --> 00:25:02,996
Speaker 3: bird seed smoothies. It smells so sweet.

510
00:25:03,156 --> 00:25:06,356
Speaker 1: Like berries, and that brings us to one one thing

511
00:25:06,436 --> 00:25:09,556
Speaker 1: you can taste. Keep pretending you're in hooper Store, Big Bird,

512
00:25:10,156 --> 00:25:13,636
Speaker 1: Imagine you're tasting that delicious strawberry bird seed smoothie.

513
00:25:15,076 --> 00:25:18,836
Speaker 3: It's cold and bird seedie, and I can taste those

514
00:25:19,196 --> 00:25:23,076
Speaker 3: yummy strawberries. Mmm. I could really go for a smoothie

515
00:25:23,156 --> 00:25:23,636
Speaker 3: right now.

516
00:25:24,036 --> 00:25:26,156
Speaker 1: Then I'd say the five four three two one game

517
00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:29,916
Speaker 1: did its job, So, Big Bird, how are you feeling now.

518
00:25:29,996 --> 00:25:33,076
Speaker 3: Like I really want a bird seed smoothie?

519
00:25:33,516 --> 00:25:36,916
Speaker 1: Exactly? We got you thinking about something else by using

520
00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:39,756
Speaker 1: your senses. Yeah, and you know what I think. I

521
00:25:39,796 --> 00:25:42,636
Speaker 1: read that Tuesday smoothie of the day at Hooper's is

522
00:25:42,636 --> 00:25:44,596
Speaker 1: a strawberry bird seed smoothie.

523
00:25:44,836 --> 00:25:47,236
Speaker 3: No kidding? We wait, what is today?

524
00:25:47,396 --> 00:25:50,356
Speaker 1: You're not gonna believe this, but today is Tuesday.

525
00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:51,036
Speaker 2: It is.

526
00:25:51,276 --> 00:25:54,396
Speaker 3: Oh, You're gonna love Hooper's Store. Doctor Lorie, Did I

527
00:25:54,436 --> 00:25:56,636
Speaker 3: mention that strawberry bird seed is my most favorite kind

528
00:25:56,636 --> 00:25:57,316
Speaker 3: of smoothie ever?

529
00:25:57,676 --> 00:25:57,956
Speaker 4: You did?

530
00:25:58,316 --> 00:25:59,756
Speaker 1: But you can tell me more about it on our

531
00:25:59,796 --> 00:26:02,196
Speaker 1: walk to Hoopers. Don't forget your umbrella so.

532
00:26:02,236 --> 00:26:04,956
Speaker 3: I won't strawberry smoothies Here we come.

533
00:26:13,036 --> 00:26:15,356
Speaker 1: Even though it's still raining out, it looks like big

534
00:26:15,356 --> 00:26:19,196
Speaker 1: Bird's emotional weather has cleared up. Big feelings don't always

535
00:26:19,236 --> 00:26:21,996
Speaker 1: feel good, no matter how old you are, but the

536
00:26:22,036 --> 00:26:24,796
Speaker 1: science shows that we can prepare for big feelings, just

537
00:26:24,836 --> 00:26:27,716
Speaker 1: like we get ready for the changing weather. If rain

538
00:26:27,756 --> 00:26:30,916
Speaker 1: is forecast, you bring an umbrella. And if your emotional

539
00:26:30,916 --> 00:26:33,836
Speaker 1: weather winds up full of stress or disappointment, you can

540
00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:36,476
Speaker 1: try some deep belly breaths or a quick gaze at

541
00:26:36,476 --> 00:26:39,796
Speaker 1: a glitter jar. If you're feeling too giddy or anxious,

542
00:26:40,156 --> 00:26:43,036
Speaker 1: why not try moving your body or dancing your feelings out.

543
00:26:43,636 --> 00:26:46,556
Speaker 1: With the right strategies, we can stay happy by preparing

544
00:26:46,596 --> 00:26:49,356
Speaker 1: for big feelings, just like we plan for big weather.

545
00:26:56,476 --> 00:26:59,196
Speaker 1: In our next episode, I'll be joined by my friend Grover,

546
00:26:59,476 --> 00:27:02,036
Speaker 1: doctor Lorie the paper did you forget?

547
00:27:02,356 --> 00:27:02,916
Speaker 4: Oh?

548
00:27:02,956 --> 00:27:05,356
Speaker 1: Sorry about that? Our next special guest has given me

549
00:27:05,396 --> 00:27:09,436
Speaker 1: the following instructions to read aloud. Here it goes by

550
00:27:09,476 --> 00:27:12,876
Speaker 1: my friend. He's cute, he's fuzzy, he's everyone's favorite emotional

551
00:27:12,916 --> 00:27:15,436
Speaker 1: well being expert. Well, I don't know about that one,

552
00:27:15,716 --> 00:27:19,516
Speaker 1: but he is everyone's favorite cuddly blue monster. He's wover.

553
00:27:20,796 --> 00:27:21,156
Speaker 2: Grover.

554
00:27:21,436 --> 00:27:24,596
Speaker 1: That wasn't my line. Oh, I I'm so sorry. I

555
00:27:24,636 --> 00:27:26,796
Speaker 1: got the little caught up in all the excitement. I

556
00:27:26,876 --> 00:27:29,996
Speaker 1: just love a good introduction, especially when it's one that's

557
00:27:30,036 --> 00:27:33,356
Speaker 1: talking about me. I love that positivity, Grover. There's a

558
00:27:33,356 --> 00:27:34,476
Speaker 1: lot we can learn from you.

559
00:27:34,556 --> 00:27:34,916
Speaker 2: There is.

560
00:27:35,596 --> 00:27:38,156
Speaker 1: I means, yes, of course there is. I am a

561
00:27:38,236 --> 00:27:40,516
Speaker 1: very smart monster, you know I do, and I'm glad

562
00:27:40,556 --> 00:27:42,876
Speaker 1: you do too. That's why you and I are talking

563
00:27:42,876 --> 00:27:45,436
Speaker 1: about the benefits of positive self talk on the next

564
00:27:45,436 --> 00:27:48,956
Speaker 1: episode of the podcast. Yes, we are excellent podcasters. You

565
00:27:49,076 --> 00:27:51,516
Speaker 1: listeners are going through wiped until next time.

566
00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:58,396
Speaker 3: Bye friend side, Bye everybody.

567
00:27:59,396 --> 00:28:01,916
Speaker 1: The Happiness Lab is co written and produced by Ryan Dilley.

568
00:28:02,396 --> 00:28:06,156
Speaker 1: Our original music was composed by Zachary Silver, with additional scoring,

569
00:28:06,236 --> 00:28:10,236
Speaker 1: mixing and mastering by Evan Viola. Jane and Alice Fines

570
00:28:10,276 --> 00:28:13,236
Speaker 1: offered additional production support. We'd like to thank the amazing

571
00:28:13,276 --> 00:28:18,356
Speaker 1: Sesame Street puppeteers Leslie Carrera, Rudolph Ryan Dylan, Eric Jacobson

572
00:28:18,516 --> 00:28:20,996
Speaker 1: and Matt Vogel, and special thank yous to the folks

573
00:28:21,036 --> 00:28:25,356
Speaker 1: over at Sesame Workshop, Emily Bandy, Alissa Chihi, Gabriella Dejanio,

574
00:28:25,596 --> 00:28:30,596
Speaker 1: Jessica Salvo, Mindy Fila, Rossio, Galarsa, Akemi Gibson, Ivan Gonzalez,

575
00:28:30,916 --> 00:28:35,316
Speaker 1: Karen Leibovich, Rosemary Trulio, Ka Wilson, Stalins, and Steve Youngwood.

576
00:28:35,556 --> 00:28:37,876
Speaker 1: Special thanks to my agent, Ben Davis and all of

577
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:40,276
Speaker 1: the Pushkin crew. The Happiness Lab is brought to you

578
00:28:40,316 --> 00:28:43,396
Speaker 1: by Pushkin Industries. HENI, Doctor Laurie Santos