1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letta. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,080 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. You never know, it 7 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 1: could be yours. It could be yours. Buckle up and 8 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,440 Speaker 1: hold on tight. We gotta poor you here at ease, 9 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letta, Thank you enough. Subject he doesn't want his 10 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: ex to hate him. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been dating 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: a man for almost two years, and I won't move 12 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: in with him until I get a ring and he's 13 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,240 Speaker 1: fully over his X. He was in a ten year 14 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: relationship when we met, and he said that he was 15 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: just looking for reason to leave. He said that he 16 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: doesn't love her and would never marry her because she 17 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: has anger issues and she started smoking cigarettes. We became 18 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: the best of friends and I helped him work through 19 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: the breakup with her. Six months after he was officially 20 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: done with her, he asked me to be his girlfriend. 21 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: We are in our mid forties, so I told him 22 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to date him unless his intention was 23 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: to eventually get married. He promised that his goal for 24 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: us was for us to be husband and wife. But 25 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: he has a problem. It's his ex girlfriend. She calls 26 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: him to then about her problems at work, or she'll 27 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 1: call him to tell him good news about her son. Basically, 28 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: any reason is a good reason for her to call him. 29 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: I have asked him why he takes her calls, and 30 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 1: he said it's because he doesn't want her to hate him. 31 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,960 Speaker 1: He said he still wants to maintain a friendship with 32 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: her because he was with her for so long. There 33 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: have been times that she calls and he will go 34 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: into the kitchen to talk to her, and if I 35 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: listen in, I hear him telling her to let stuff 36 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: go and not let stuff bother her. I've told him 37 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 1: many times that she's still got him wrapped around her finger, 38 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: but he says it ain't so I have told him 39 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: that he only needs to worry about me and make 40 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: sure I don't hate him. I don't think he still 41 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: wants her because he talks to her in front of 42 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: me ninety eight percent of the time, But what about 43 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: that two percent that I don't get to hear should 44 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,679 Speaker 1: I worry about him backsliding with her? Well, I mean, 45 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: there's definitely a possibility because they still have that connection. 46 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: That phone connection seems pretty strong. But you know you're 47 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: putting up with this. I mean, you're you're not saying 48 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: anything or really you know, doing too much when he 49 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: is talking to him, And I think this letter is 50 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: really about the two of them, not the two of you, 51 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 1: not you and him. You don't need to move in 52 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: with him because basically, I think if you did at 53 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: this point, it would be like a threesome. Because he 54 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 1: spends so much time with her, it's more like you 55 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: him and her in this situation. It doesn't matter whether 56 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: he talks to her in front of you or not. 57 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: He shouldn't be taught talking to her at all. At 58 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: this point. He should have let that go. Like he 59 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: told her to let those things go, he should do 60 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: it too. I don't think neither of them have let 61 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: anything go. The truth is he obviously does still have 62 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: feelings for her and doesn't see or care that this 63 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: is totally disrespectful to you and you, guys, is a relationship. 64 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: I think you need to tell him that you've had 65 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: it with her calling him and him talking to her, 66 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: and he needs to act like it because he's with 67 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: you now. I mean, what happened to your plans about 68 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: getting a ring and becoming husband and wife and all 69 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: of that. You haven't even talked about those things lately, 70 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: have you. I don't think it's gonna happen as long 71 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: as she's in the picture, and she needs to go, 72 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: and if she doesn't go, you need to go. Steve, Well, well, 73 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't get anything about this letter, to 74 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: be honest with you, he doesn't want his X to 75 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: hate him. I ain't want man to hate me either. 76 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: It ain't work out like that. The hate is real, 77 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: as real as it can get. You know, I'm saying 78 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: hate tred to be more exact, Hate is not a 79 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 1: strong enough word that has happened in my life before. 80 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: H repudiate. I'm trying to think a word to despise. 81 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, disdained. H hope the worst for you? What 82 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: praying for your undoing? Upe you die that? Yeah, old hero, 83 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: you hope you die. A matter of fact, I will 84 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: attempt several attempts on your life. So this little point 85 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 1: as letter, you don't d Yeah? This did it? Like? Wait? 86 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: Did a little pooty putting letter right here, did ruddy 87 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: poot right here? Boy, this ain't nothing right. Uh, you've 88 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: been dating the man for two years and you ain't 89 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: gonna move a hm until you get you ain't gonna 90 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 1: move in with him til you get a ring. And 91 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: he's fully over his ex. He was in a ten 92 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: year relationship when we met, and said he was he 93 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: was looking for a reason to lead. Excuse me, he 94 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: couldn't think of something. This is why I don't understand this. 95 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 1: Right here, he said, you know, he was in a 96 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,559 Speaker 1: tenue relationship when we met, and he was just looking 97 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: for a reason to leave. He couldn't think of nothing 98 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 1: I could. He said that he don't love him, would 99 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: never marry her because she got anger issues, and he 100 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: started to start smoke a cigarette. I think what the 101 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: real problem with this letter is he don't want his 102 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: actually hate him because he's scared of him. I think 103 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: he's scared this woman with just anger management. He trying 104 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: to thay cool because she got something hanging over on 105 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 1: his head. That's what I think this whole thing is about. 106 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 1: Because I don't give a damn how you feel about me. 107 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: Miss me with your love I don't give a damn 108 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: if you ever consider me again. By Felicia, we come 109 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 1: back up being there. I'm an expert on this right here. Okay, Steve, 110 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: one thing this letter is not about you. Feel like 111 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:34,919 Speaker 1: it though, bring off to hate him. I tried that route. 112 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: It don't work. All right. Well, we'll have part two 113 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: of Steve's response coming up with twenty three minutes after 114 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: he doesn't want his ex to hate him. We'll get 115 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening show, all right, 116 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. H The 117 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: subject is he doesn't want his ex to hate him? Yeah, 118 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: this man right his he's got it so confu. He 119 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: don't want his ex to hate him? Man, get in line, homing. 120 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: It doesn't always work like that. In a ten year relationship, 121 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: when he met and he said he was just looking 122 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: for a reason to leave. Like I said before, he 123 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: couldn't thank or something. He said he didn't love her 124 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: and never would marry her because she has anger issues 125 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: and started smoking cigarettes. So y'all became the best of friends. 126 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 1: You help him work through the breakup. And then about 127 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: six months after the deficity down where he asked you 128 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: to be his girlfriend. Were I med forties? And I 129 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: told him I wasn't gonna date unless his intention was 130 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: eventually getting married. You're in your forties. He was, he 131 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: was girlfriend. He was in a relationship with a woman 132 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: that was a girlfriend, so he liked girlfriends. That's what 133 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: they was in a ten year relationship. They wasn't man, 134 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: so was Dave was girl friends. Now he got you, 135 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: you're not. He liked girlfriends. Yeah, he don't like wives 136 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: and commitments. He liked girlfriends, forty year old girlfriends. That's 137 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 1: cute anyway. Uh. I told him I wasn't gonna date 138 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: him unless his tension was eventually getting married. He promised 139 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: that his goal was us to be husband and wife. 140 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: But he has a problem. It's his ex girlfriend. She 141 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: calls him to vent about her problems at work, or 142 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: she called to tell him the good news about her son, 143 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: basically any reason there's a good reason for her to 144 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: call him. I asked him why he won't why he 145 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: takes her calls, and he said it's because he doesn't 146 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 1: want her to hate him. This is the key to 147 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,199 Speaker 1: the letter. He don't want her to hate him. The 148 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: reason they broke up is cause she starts smoking cigarettes 149 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: and has anger issues. Ain't nothing worse than a mad 150 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: ass woman smoking a cigarette. Got that cigarette just dangling 151 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,680 Speaker 1: tip of her time about I'll tell you one thing. 152 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: When I seen, I swear to God him Keilly sooner 153 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: in my hand. Kim got that cigarette that danglo to 154 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: tip lip like your uncle at work gonna calls. You know, 155 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: I think that cigarette. I tell what I tell what 156 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,599 Speaker 1: you have? Fred? You have Fred? But I'm here. I 157 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: walked on. I wiked him about to ask. But that 158 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 1: but that cigarette, that cigarette just be talking the whole time. 159 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 1: She talking, that cigarette going up down, ashes, flicking off 160 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: on her dressing stuff. But she mad. He's scared of 161 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,959 Speaker 1: He is scared of hug He don't want her to 162 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,959 Speaker 1: hate him. He say he still want to maintain a 163 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: friendship with her because he was with her for so long. 164 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: What they gotta do it If you want to maintain 165 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,680 Speaker 1: the friendship, she should stay with her. But he said 166 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:39,559 Speaker 1: a minute ago he was just looking for a reason 167 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:45,720 Speaker 1: to leave because he's scared of Huh. He's she crazy. 168 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: That's why he got to talk her down off the bridge. 169 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: When he called. He got to go in the kitchen. Baby, 170 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: stop letting everything bother you. Stop talking about killing people. 171 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 1: Stop that you can't kill anybody at the time to 172 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 1: get mad at you. You got to stop this, baby. 173 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: Stop listen to me. Now, you shouldn't kill hum so 174 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: what she wrote the same dress to work with you. Baby, 175 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: Stop baby, baby, baby, Hold up, baby babies, stop smoking 176 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: them damn cigarettes. Now, baby baby, we're talking. Phone up, baby, baby, baby, 177 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: we're talking. Don't blow the smoking my face. Don't do this. 178 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know, baby. I'm still cool 179 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: with you though. I'm still cool with you because because 180 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: me and you were cool, you ain't got to say 181 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: all that. You ain't got to what. You ain't got 182 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,079 Speaker 1: to call my job no more. Don't call down no 183 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: no mold. Stop saying stuff like that. Baby, I look, 184 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: I'm still okay. Just don't download nothing else on Facebook 185 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: around me. Please, I'm gonna talk with you. I still 186 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: love your son. You know it's still I was. I 187 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 1: was saying part of his life for ten years. I 188 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,559 Speaker 1: know he's twenty five. That's okay. He can still call 189 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: me that. Baby. My promise, you ain't gonna change, baby. 190 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 1: Hold on, I'll be off in a minute. Look I'm talking. 191 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: I was talking to talking to my to my to 192 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: my woman in here she my woman, Me and you 193 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: broke up, baby, I said, give me a minute now, Look, 194 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: she and that tripping. I just let me talk to 195 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: her because you know, I'm I'm trying to maintain this 196 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 1: friendship with us, because me and you we've been cool 197 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,959 Speaker 1: all this time. Huh. I know. I know you got 198 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 1: something on me. I know that, but you ain't gotta 199 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 1: keep saying that dough. Oh my god, baby, look blowing it. 200 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, baby, I was talking to her now, 201 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: but I came here. She talked about she always tripping 202 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: about this two percent of the time I talk to 203 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,199 Speaker 1: you in private because I'd be trying to talk you 204 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: down off the bridge because you always talk about killing somebody. 205 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 1: Don't nobody want to down all the time. Baby, That's 206 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: what you got to work on that you still ain't 207 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: trying to get yourself no help. I'm sorry, I'm just 208 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,439 Speaker 1: talking about some help, baby, just a little help, just 209 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 1: so you can talk to somebody. Don't where about that 210 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: wild calling she said, come over here and killing baby. 211 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 1: Hold on, you want to be you want to be dead? Baby? 212 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:48,320 Speaker 1: Hold on? Man, alright, you gotta go crazy. We gotta 213 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 1: go on all right. Hit us up on Instagram or 214 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM with your thoughts on today's letter. Please 215 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 1: check out the Strung podcast. Baby, I hear you Loading, 216 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: I hear you load, Nick, I know what she'll sign, 217 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 1: stop putting bullets in a good and let's just home. 218 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: Coming Up next, more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. 219 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning 220 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 1: Show