Speaker 1: Hello, it was Jason Sepsim and on Merseay Night, and
Speaker 1: welcome to a tiny, tiny, tiny spider sized episode of
Speaker 1: X Revision, the podcast when we dive deep into your
Speaker 1: favorite shows, movies, comics, and pop culture.
Speaker 2: In today's episode, it's a previously on. We're catching up
Speaker 2: on Madam Webb as part of a series revisiting all
Speaker 2: the things we missed while we were on hiatus in
Speaker 2: the Amazon with her mother before she died.
Speaker 1: And just in case you didn't catch the amazing, the fantastically,
Speaker 1: very unique Madam Web in theaters, don't worry. Madam Web
Speaker 1: is now streaming on Netflix.
Speaker 2: Catch it now. Picture this nineteen seventy three. Deep in
Speaker 2: the Peruvian Amazon, a young woman is hunting for a spider.
Speaker 2: The spider has magical healing powders, but she is not
Speaker 2: the only one looking for it. In fact, as she
Speaker 2: finds it, she's betrayed by the very man to be
Speaker 2: protecting her, Ezekiel Simms. He has a suspicious mustache. She
Speaker 2: should have known.
Speaker 3: In a very strange way of speaking, which we should.
Speaker 2: We will delve into that he shoots her even though
Speaker 2: she is pregnant, and he leaves her for dead. Taking
Speaker 2: the magical healing Spider with him into the jungle. As
Speaker 2: this mysterious woman leeds out, she is saved by an
Speaker 2: even more mysterious group of magical spider people known as
Speaker 2: loss Aranyus. And I just want to say at this
Speaker 2: point we are not making any of this up for hyperbole.
Speaker 2: This is absolutely what happens in Madam Webb. While Los
Speaker 2: Aranius cannot save her, they can save her new born daughter,
Speaker 2: Cassandra Webb. Well, guess what. They let a magical healing
Speaker 2: spider bite her mum and it's saves the baby as
Speaker 2: the baby is being born. Smash cut to New York
Speaker 2: in two thousand and three and the worst driving you've
Speaker 2: seen this side of the Fast and Furious movies as
Speaker 2: we meet Cassie Web who is now an EMT, something
Speaker 2: which I just have to say is not canon to
Speaker 2: the comics and for some reason, is so focused on
Speaker 2: in this movie that you think it might be like
Speaker 2: a top there's style EMT promotional advert. You just couldn't
Speaker 2: believe it.
Speaker 1: I mean to the point that there is a wild
Speaker 1: scene in which Cassie shows.
Speaker 3: Her her Spider charges, her future spider charges.
Speaker 1: How to do chest compressions and perform a point of
Speaker 1: the movie in a way that lets you know this
Speaker 1: will happen later on the new movie.
Speaker 2: And not just that, but it's like incredibly important, to
Speaker 2: the point where one of the charges, Matty Franklin, says,
Speaker 2: you're a great teacher, and she know she's a horrible person.
Speaker 2: That's actually one of the things I love the most
Speaker 2: about this movie. Cassandra Webb is one of Hollywood's most
Speaker 2: unlikable female characters, and I think that is powerful. So
Speaker 2: she's this unlikable woman is driving recklessly through New York,
Speaker 2: causing many problems. But guess what good news for Spider
Speaker 2: fans because her partner in the EMT business is Ben Parker.
Speaker 2: Uncle Ben played by Adam Scott, who I just have
Speaker 2: to say, I'm so happy for him because he's a
Speaker 2: nerd like us, and I know that this was probably
Speaker 2: his dream to play Uncle Ben, So good for you.
Speaker 2: So the pair save the person who is in the
Speaker 2: back of their ambulance, but Cassie is weird about it.
Speaker 2: She's rude to the person's kid. She sees Sidney Sweeney,
Speaker 2: and she's kind of rude to Sydney Sweeney, which is
Speaker 2: a shame because that is Julia Carpenter, but in this
Speaker 2: movie she's called Julia Cromwell because she's not married yet.
Speaker 2: I guess. So. Cassie is weird about everything. And after
Speaker 2: being weird at Mary Parker dunt dun dun dun dun
Speaker 2: du baby shower for the future Peter though he has
Speaker 2: never known named, she has a near death experience that
Speaker 2: gives her precognitive powers. Of course, yes, of course she
Speaker 2: does all she's Madam Webb, and this is how she
Speaker 2: gets those powers. She has a future vision of her
Speaker 2: mentor Mike Epps again not making this up, and he
Speaker 2: is gonna die but she can't save him. Then she
Speaker 2: gets blown into her She goes to save somebody on Yeah,
Speaker 2: the whole thing is weird. She's saving somebody on a
Speaker 2: bridge and she falls into the Hudson and then she
Speaker 2: comes back and she's dead for three minutes. But don't
Speaker 2: worry because now she's a pre cog And then what
Speaker 2: happened next?
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, wrong, wrong, Yes, so she is a
Speaker 1: pre cod guy.
Speaker 2: She's a sorry, she has pre cognitive powers. She's not
Speaker 2: a minority report. She saves three teenage girls from don't
Speaker 2: dun't done. Ezekiel Simms, who by the way, has been
Speaker 2: keeping that spider and sleeping with NSA agent so that
Speaker 2: he can use tracking technology to find three teenage girls
Speaker 2: that he sees in his dreams murdering him. We're going
Speaker 2: to take a quick break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: With that.
Speaker 2: And now let's talk about the voice.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about it. Let's talk about the many strange
Speaker 3: things about Ezekiel Sims, namely one, he's having visions of
Speaker 3: three teenage girls for years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, every single night, every single night's dreamable night.
Speaker 3: And he tells no one about.
Speaker 2: It except for the NSA agent that he kills to
Speaker 2: get the tracking stuff. And in that fantastic moment, which
Speaker 2: was the first time my cinema burst into laughter, he says, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm dying or they're gonna murder me, and everyone went,
Speaker 2: wait what. And I just want to say, there is
Speaker 2: a this actor who plays Ezekiel Simms. T hear here Ryan.
Speaker 2: He is such a fantastic actor. If you haven't seen
Speaker 2: the French movie Called a Prophet, it is legit one
Speaker 2: of the best movies ever made. It's so fantastic. He
Speaker 2: is an incredible actor. But here they made the choice
Speaker 2: to adr and re dub almost all of his dialogue. Yes,
Speaker 2: and it is inexplicable.
Speaker 1: Well, I'll explain it this way. I think very clearly.
Speaker 1: There were plot issues. They couldn't do reshoots because.
Speaker 2: The money ran out.
Speaker 1: There's you know, a quite strong cap on a lot
Speaker 1: of the Sony Spider movie stuff. And the fix, which
Speaker 1: I think is reasonable, was Okay, we adr Ezekiel Simms
Speaker 1: and we changed the plot and the storyline around that way.
Speaker 1: But the result is just crazy, I mean, extremely surreal, weird.
Speaker 2: It's like watching Cats level of surreal, especially if you
Speaker 2: watch it more than once. Because I watched it twice
Speaker 2: in the cinema. The second time I could really see
Speaker 2: all the times when they were adring him. And yeah,
Speaker 2: that makes sense because the general story in the the
Speaker 2: scoop Mill of Hollywood is that this was originally supposed
Speaker 2: to be tied to Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker movies. Then
Speaker 2: they changed the timeline to make it fit with the
Speaker 2: Tom Holland movies. But then they also kind of messed
Speaker 2: up the timeline, so they separated it from any of
Speaker 2: the movies, and now this is just the different universe
Speaker 2: or something, so that makes sense. But anyways, he he's
Speaker 2: dreaming of these teenage girls. He wants to kill them.
Speaker 2: He has what Shashana from Girls is there as is
Speaker 2: woman behind the wind the screen, his private hacker, and
Speaker 2: he's using you know what now is just normal technology,
Speaker 2: but in two thousand and three was extremely high tech
Speaker 2: to hunt down these girls Julia Cornwall and your Corrazon
Speaker 2: and Matty Franklin. Now, of course, because her web connects
Speaker 2: them all, Madam Webb has already met all these different
Speaker 2: teenagers before she sees them on the train, and in
Speaker 2: one of the movie's kind of best sequences, she sees
Speaker 2: Ezekiel kill them all and then she has to stop.
Speaker 2: It's very final destination. I feel like they should have
Speaker 2: leaned into that more. That could have been a really
Speaker 2: cool angle for the movie. So she saves them, but
Speaker 2: because she is an unlikable female character in the best way,
Speaker 2: she abandons them in the woods after being accused of
Speaker 2: kidnapping them so that she can go home and read
Speaker 2: her mom's diary while uttering the immaculate line of.
Speaker 1: Spider people, LUs Arunias, spider people, las Irunias.
Speaker 2: Yeah, completely normal, completely normal, And then she has to
Speaker 2: go back and save the girls that she abandoned.
Speaker 3: Well, they're not in the woods anymore.
Speaker 2: Where could they have gone? Where could they have gone?
Speaker 2: Maybe they're going to this diner where they are dancing
Speaker 2: on a table to Toxic by Britney Spears. When Ezekiel Simms,
Speaker 2: who has toxic blood and can kill people with it,
Speaker 2: once again, tries to kill them, Cassie sees him do this,
Speaker 2: and then you know it's the future luckily, so she
Speaker 2: can go in and save it. And then she says,
Speaker 2: let's try that again. And they obviously thought that was
Speaker 2: like a really cool moment. So what she does, classic
Speaker 2: Cassie web fashion, just drives a car into the diner.
Speaker 2: She'll try and do any cool. Just drives a car
Speaker 2: into the diner. Good thing is Cassie now knows the truth.
Speaker 2: She knows about the Spider people. She has to go
Speaker 2: to Peru, so she abandons the children again, this time
Speaker 2: giving them to Uncle Ben, who, by the way, is
Speaker 2: like the best friend ever.
Speaker 1: Here's three kids, Okay.
Speaker 2: Here's three teenage girls who I've been staying within a
Speaker 2: motel teaching CPR. You look after them now, and so
Speaker 2: luckily or unluckily, they're staying with Mary Parker there would
Speaker 2: be mother of Peter Parker, and the girls are chilling
Speaker 2: and they're watching you know, I Know what you did
Speaker 2: last summer, because this is essentially just a teen sleepover movie. Yes,
Speaker 2: And unfortunately Mary goes into labor don't boom, bomb bomb,
Speaker 2: while Cassie is in Peru learning that her mother didn't
Speaker 2: hate her. She's astually projecting, she's hugging her mom.
Speaker 3: Can we talk about why go to Peru?
Speaker 2: Like? Why did she?
Speaker 1: Why is part of this movie? The future Madam web
Speaker 1: leaving the action to fly to take a like a
Speaker 1: I don't know how well how.
Speaker 2: Long long journey, but a long journey to Peru yep.
Speaker 2: And she goes to Peru and she meets with the
Speaker 2: guy who saved her mum's life, and she he astro
Speaker 2: projects her into a pool where she sees all the
Speaker 2: different webs that she can connect. By the way, again,
Speaker 2: just like, absolutely not canon. This is a Catwoman level,
Speaker 2: you know cat Woman, the Halle Berry movie. It's a
Speaker 2: Catwoman level kind of reimagining of her powers and where
Speaker 2: they come from. And then she's like, Okay, cool, I
Speaker 2: guess I can see the future now. And I can
Speaker 2: actually project. Thanks Peruvian guy, I'm out. I'm going back
Speaker 2: to New York where Ezekiel is trying to kill her
Speaker 2: three teenage charges and he's chasing through New York City
Speaker 2: and he's gonna kill Ben Parker, and he's gonna kill
Speaker 2: Mary Parker and maybe Peter Parker and that would be
Speaker 2: really bad. But luckily Cassie remembers when Mike Kep said
Speaker 2: there was a dangerous warehouse full of fireworks before he
Speaker 2: was killed by a truck. So she takes the children
Speaker 2: to the dangerous fireworks. I'm telling you, unlikable, just terrible
Speaker 2: role model. So she takes the teenagers, who, by the way,
Speaker 2: we haven't really talked about this yet, they don't have
Speaker 2: any powers. They are not in Spider People.
Speaker 3: They will have powers, but they have no powers right now.
Speaker 2: They will be in a movie that we have yet
Speaker 2: to see, and we'll never see.
Speaker 3: Will we see it? Will we see?
Speaker 2: You know? I do think that Sydney Sweeney has the
Speaker 2: star power that we could see her move into the MCU.
Speaker 2: I would. I loved the version of Matty Franklin that
Speaker 2: we got in this. I thought Anya was really fun,
Speaker 2: So those three would be my big thing that I
Speaker 2: would want to see come over. But anyway, so they're
Speaker 2: powerless teens that she takes into a fireworks factory and
Speaker 2: then they start setting works off with flares. By the way,
Speaker 2: also at this point I must mention that they have
Speaker 2: electric shocked Ezekiel off the top of a ambulance using
Speaker 2: the paddles. It's all very unsafe, and Ezekiel has a
Speaker 2: Miles Morales esque spider costume which we will talk about
Speaker 2: this afterwards, but like essentially makes him the first person
Speaker 2: in the cannon.
Speaker 3: Absolutely hated that they did that, terrible choice.
Speaker 2: Ezekiel is most famous, and they do this in the
Speaker 2: movie quite a lot, and it is quite funny. His
Speaker 2: costume is just a man wearing a suit with no shoes.
Speaker 2: He's just got bare feet and and and he is
Speaker 2: doing that in the movie. So there was no need
Speaker 2: for this weird spider costume, but I guess someone had
Speaker 2: to add one, so they said it's him. So they're
Speaker 2: in the firebucks factory, Ezekiel comes. He puts all the
Speaker 2: girls in danger, but don't worry, Madam Webkin astro project,
Speaker 2: so she astrally projects to three different places, saves the girls,
Speaker 2: then if you've been wondering throughout this movie while watching it,
Speaker 2: why is there so much Pepsi promotion in this movie?
Speaker 2: Why is that the brand that they decided to go for, Well,
Speaker 2: don't worry, because you know how Ezekiel is defeated by
Speaker 2: a giant Pepsi sign that falls on him. That is
Speaker 2: really what happens. Pepsi was like, we want to put
Speaker 2: the promotion in this movie so bad, we don't even
Speaker 2: care if it kills someone. If Pepsi kills someone, that's okay,
Speaker 2: and then all is well. Peter Parker is born, though
Speaker 2: never named, it's just a baby. It could be Peter's
Speaker 2: sister who was secretly born and in like two issues
Speaker 2: of the comics, but we can assume it's probably supposed
Speaker 2: to be Peter. Uncle Ben says, oh, I like to
Speaker 2: be an uncle. It's all the power, all the responsibility,
Speaker 2: but like, no, all the fun, And then she goes,
Speaker 2: that's what he thinks, because she knows he's that those
Speaker 2: parents are gonna die. She knows everything, and she doesn't
Speaker 2: want anyone She just lets it happen. And a year
Speaker 2: in the future, we see Madam Web and her adopted
Speaker 2: spider children what happened to their parents. No one cares.
Speaker 3: They don't care any They're just out free, living free now.
Speaker 2: Just living free with Madam Webb, who is now blind
Speaker 2: after the Pepsi sign incident and in a wheelchair, because
Speaker 2: that's what happens to Madam web And they tried to
Speaker 2: make her look marginally older because, as we have talked
Speaker 2: about before, Madame.
Speaker 1: Weber an ancient woman.
Speaker 2: And then we get a hilarious moment where Madam Webb
Speaker 2: envisions the future where they're all spider people, which is
Speaker 2: what we saw in the trailers. And then the funniest
Speaker 2: part is at the end where she has a spider
Speaker 2: walking over her hand and she looks at the audience
Speaker 2: and says, the best thing about the future is it
Speaker 2: hasn't happened yet. And that's the end of the movie.
Speaker 2: That's Madam webb.
Speaker 1: Incredible film.
Speaker 3: I died every time Ezekiel said anything, I.
Speaker 2: Know, I'm like justice for Taha because that is like
Speaker 2: just ridiculous, Like, yeah, every time he says anything, You're like,
Speaker 2: why did they do the most gravelly outrageous villain voice
Speaker 2: actor adr Like it's just shocking.
Speaker 1: And it also seems as if one of the notes
Speaker 1: was like, hey, we're not really understanding what the villain's
Speaker 1: motivation is, so can you have him mention some version
Speaker 1: of in the future.
Speaker 3: They will destroy me? Yeah, those girls cannot exist.
Speaker 1: He says it almost every single They're trying to kill
Speaker 1: me in the future.
Speaker 2: I can't let that happen.
Speaker 3: Those girls are in my future, but I am my.
Speaker 2: Dreams and every night, like do you know what it's
Speaker 2: like to die every night? I mean, this movie is
Speaker 2: like so unbelievably silly, but I did have a very
Speaker 2: fun time watching it, Like it is one of those Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's not like Morbius, where I found Morebus to be
Speaker 2: quite dry and not as silly as it should be.
Speaker 2: Though Matt Smith is great and Morbius and was having
Speaker 2: a great time. This is more of a movie wheb
Speaker 2: whatever Dakota Johnson says, and she has said many incredible
Speaker 2: things about this movie. There is no way that people
Speaker 2: didn't know what this movie was. Like you're sitting there, Yeah,
Speaker 2: come Mom's diary and you're saying, ah, Spider, people like
Speaker 2: you see what the movie was. And she knows some
Speaker 2: really great weird acting, like the characterization of Cassie Webb
Speaker 2: is so unlikable that it's like fantastic. It's just absolutely baffling.
Speaker 3: I agree with you.
Speaker 1: I actually think to Cooda Johnson as an actor, like
Speaker 1: when she is in bitchy gear, when she's like kind
Speaker 1: of toxic and sniping at people, it's actually really compelling.
Speaker 1: It's when she has to shift in any into any
Speaker 1: kind of other kind of mode that it doesn't carry over.
Speaker 1: But there is something like weirdly interesting about her depiction
Speaker 1: of Madam Webb as a completely like unlikable person.
Speaker 2: I know, And it's especially strange because like, who who
Speaker 2: is this movie for?
Speaker 1: That's like that's the thing for the investors, for the stockholders,
Speaker 1: the stockholders.
Speaker 2: Also, can we just talk about the fact I think
Speaker 2: about this every time I watch one of these movies,
Speaker 2: but like, how funny is the The acronym for these
Speaker 2: movies is Sony Pictures Universe of Marvel Characters, which essentially
Speaker 2: is Spumker Spunker. I don't know, that's why it's just
Speaker 2: so good. We'll be right back after a quick brick.
Speaker 1: And we're back.
Speaker 2: Okay, So the next movie in this series is gonna
Speaker 2: be Craven R rated Aaron Taylor Johnson arguably one of
Speaker 2: the best actors future future James Bond. It's r rated.
Speaker 2: He's gonna be a craven who like loves animals, I think,
Speaker 2: and is gonna be killing, uh, killing hunters, which just
Speaker 2: seems absolutely Boncerus Russell Crowe is in it. I mean,
Speaker 2: I can't wait. That's like my most anticipated movie. I'm
Speaker 2: going but I think it's just gonna be completely ridiculous.
Speaker 2: This is if our recap sounded silly, it is nothing
Speaker 2: compared to actually watching the movie, which but we didn't
Speaker 2: even get into the fact that when she goes back
Speaker 2: to Peru, the Los Arnus leader does a reimagining of
Speaker 2: the with great power comes great responsibility. He says, if
Speaker 2: you take on the responsibility, the power will come, Like
Speaker 2: if you build it, they will come.
Speaker 3: I rolled my eyes so hard, dude, not to mention that.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's funny, and I'm glad that it's funny, because
Speaker 1: if it was like slightly better, it would have completely
Speaker 1: undercut that saying and the power of it for Spider Man. Like,
Speaker 1: but the fact that they tried so many times to
Speaker 1: do that to kind of like repurpose Spider Man lore
Speaker 1: and sayings around this character is just absolutely hilarious.
Speaker 2: I think I would rather have The rumor was, because
Speaker 2: you see them eating fortune cookies. The rumor was Uncle
Speaker 2: Bem was gonna find that line in a fortune cookie.
Speaker 2: And I think I actually would have preferred that because
Speaker 2: the way they did it was like so bad. But anyway, anyway,
Speaker 2: what a picture, What a film, folks, That's cinema.
Speaker 3: That is true cinema.
Speaker 1: Every episode we close the show with a variety fast
Speaker 1: moving segments. Today it's Who's Who, in which we talk
Speaker 1: about some of our favorite weird characters from a given universe.
Speaker 1: This episode we're doing our favorite spider Man weirdos.
Speaker 3: I got one.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you the one I love, Golden sponge Cake
Speaker 1: spider Man. So, Golden sponge Cake spider Man is a
Speaker 1: play on the hostess ads that you would get with
Speaker 1: your like apple Pie, and it would have a little
Speaker 1: comic that would include usually a Marvel character eating the
Speaker 1: cake and this is part of their advertising. And he
Speaker 1: existed briefly in the comics until he was until he
Speaker 1: was killed. Golden sponge Cake Spider Man.
Speaker 2: I have to say those host esk ads, if you
Speaker 2: have never read those, they are so delightful. You can
Speaker 2: read them online. If you want to go into a
Speaker 2: comic shop, you can just buy any old back issue
Speaker 2: and you'll likely find them. But the comic shop I
Speaker 2: used to work out, we actually did an exhibition of
Speaker 2: them because they are that legendary. So I love that pole. Okay,
Speaker 2: I wasn't sure who to pick, but now we're on
Speaker 2: a food theme, so I'm going to go for What
Speaker 2: about this one Spider Ramen Oh Spider Verse issue five
Speaker 2: from twenty twenty. He comes from a future alternate timeline
Speaker 2: and he can just make as many bowls of Ramen
Speaker 2: as he wants, and he is a giant bowl of
Speaker 2: Ramen in a Spider Man suit, and he uses this
Speaker 2: power of infinite food to go around feeding the needy
Speaker 2: and vulnerable. Well, the legend and it was created by
Speaker 2: a fan named Steve Poole as part of a campaign
Speaker 2: when Marvel invited people to pitch their own additions to
Speaker 2: the Spider Man and it is like so funny, So yeah,
Speaker 2: I love that that was our food them too soon.
Speaker 1: Thanks love for listening, Thank you. X ray Vision is
Speaker 1: hosted by Jason Gitsubsion and Rosie Knight and is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producers are Joelle Smith
Speaker 1: and Aaron Kaufman. Our supervising producer is a Boo Zafar.
Speaker 1: Our producers are Carmen Laurent and Mia Taylor. Our theme
Speaker 1: song is by Brian Basquez.
Speaker 2: Special thanks to Soul Rubin and Chris Lord, Kenny Goodman
Speaker 2: and Heidi A. Score moderator
Speaker 1: Hm