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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 3: a little house.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 3: I warned my dad's girlfriend that she'd never see my

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Speaker 3: baby again if she kept pushing her religion on him.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to push my baby down a river.

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Speaker 1: Then it becomes Prince of Egypt.

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Speaker 3: I love that movie for context. I twenty six female,

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Speaker 3: come from a Catholic family, but my parents decided not

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Speaker 3: to raise me and my siblings as such. My father

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Speaker 3: due to a crisis of faith he had years ago,

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Speaker 3: and my mother because she hated practicing it. We were

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Speaker 3: all baptized for our grandparents' sakes, but nothing beyond that.

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Speaker 3: We never prayed, didn't have any first communions, and didn't

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Speaker 3: read the Bible. I didn't even set foot in a

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Speaker 3: church until I was fourteen. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Okay Rooster thirty eight ninety and if you want

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Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay

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Speaker 3: Storytime Suppered. I'm very grateful for that upbringing. Today I'm

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Speaker 3: agnostic and I don't have a great relationship with the church.

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Speaker 3: My husband's family is also Catholic, but he doesn't practices.

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Speaker 3: Our first child was born earlier this month, and we

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Speaker 3: decided to raise him without religion. Neither of our extended

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Speaker 3: families cared much, but we've been having some trouble with

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Speaker 3: a few people over it. My father has been dating

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Speaker 3: a Christian woman for six years. I'll admit I like her,

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Speaker 3: but I don't dislike her either. Before I got pregnant,

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Speaker 3: she wasn't the preachy type to me, at least she

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Speaker 3: wasn't happy when I told her I was agnostic, but

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Speaker 3: didn't try to change my mind. You did talk about

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Speaker 3: her religion a lot and kept trying to get my

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Speaker 3: father to engage with it frequently, but not much beyond that.

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Speaker 3: Soon after I announced my pregnancy, my husband and I

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Speaker 3: had dinner with my father and his girlfriend, during which

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Speaker 3: she told us she knew the perfect place for the baptism.

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Speaker 3: We said we weren't planning on baptizing our baby, and

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Speaker 3: from that moment she got annoyingly preachy to me and

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Speaker 3: my husband. It was mostly indirect stuff, such as giving

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Speaker 3: the whole family speeches about how glad she was to

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Speaker 3: have Jesus in her life, but some were impossible to

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Speaker 3: mask as unrelated. You gave me a decorative cross for

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Speaker 3: the nursery on my baby shower, tried to make us

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Speaker 3: all say grace during Christmas dinner, which we'd never done

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Speaker 3: before with or without her, and kept bringing up a

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Speaker 3: priest friend of hers who just so happened to author

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Speaker 3: do baptism. My husband and I stood by our decision.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward to now. Our baby was born a couple

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Speaker 3: weeks early. He was pretty much full term, but we

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Speaker 3: were all still worried. He's perfectly healthy and we're all

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Speaker 3: doing well. Yesterday, my father and his girlfriend came over

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Speaker 3: to see the baby. While I was telling them about

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Speaker 3: my labor and how it was at the hospital, she

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Speaker 3: told me she had been praying for us the whole time,

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Speaker 3: and that we should all praise Jesus for giving us

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Speaker 3: such a beautiful blessing as my son. Unrelated to her

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Speaker 3: previous preachiness or not. I lost whatever patience I had.

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Speaker 3: I said, you know what I'm done. The more you

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Speaker 3: talk about Jesus and religion and whatever, the less you'll

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Speaker 3: see my child. She was quiet the rest of the visit.

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Speaker 3: After they left, my father called me. He told me

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Speaker 3: he understood. I was frustrated, but I shouldn't have been

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Speaker 3: so rude to his girlfriend. He told me her intentions

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Speaker 3: were pure and she was only behaving like this because

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Speaker 3: of how important her religion was to her. I don't

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Speaker 3: think I'm wrong for my feelings, but I am worried

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Speaker 3: I was too rude. Am I the a hole? And

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Speaker 3: there are comments and an update?

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Speaker 1: What do you think?

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Speaker 3: Really?

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Speaker 1: I think the mom needs to be or the girlfriend

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Speaker 1: needs to be going at this different way. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: the whole beating someone the Bible approach not very.

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Speaker 3: No, it's just I think it's frustrating because Ope and

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Speaker 3: her husband have both stated many times that they are

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Speaker 3: not interested in this. They have not been rude or

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Speaker 3: anything about the girlfriend's religion, but they're like, no, somewhere

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Speaker 3: doing that's not what we're doing for our kid. It's

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Speaker 3: not what we're doing for our kid. And she still

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Speaker 3: is trying to like push and push and push. And

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Speaker 3: I think it's even more frustrating that the dad doesn't

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Speaker 3: seem to see the problem in this either. Like OPI's dad.

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Speaker 1: Not saying anything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, oh no, she's just you know, she

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Speaker 3: just loved you guys, and she cares a lot about

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Speaker 3: her religion, and it's like, okay, but you need to

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Speaker 3: respect our boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Too, Yeah, And I'm like my approach with it is like,

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Speaker 1: I hope people can have any encounter with Jesus, and

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Speaker 1: if they do and they want to explore that, great,

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Speaker 1: but you can't. The more you try to force that,

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Speaker 1: the less that's coming from. Yeah, you know, Jesus coming

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Speaker 1: from your religion. So like, maybe you should pray about it.

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Speaker 1: Did you pray about it? Did you pray about it?

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Speaker 3: Maybe she should go and pray on her own time.

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Speaker 3: But there are some comments not the a whole. Maybe

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Speaker 3: remind your dad what's important to you. She can have

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Speaker 3: her faith, but when she starts pushing that on others,

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Speaker 3: that's her crossing boundaries. And op replies, my father tends

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Speaker 3: to humor her when it comes to these things, which

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Speaker 3: kind of surprises me, because she pushes her faith onto

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Speaker 3: him more than onto us. I'm obviously okay with him

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Speaker 3: doing that for himself, but not one extends to me

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Speaker 3: and my siblings. And a down voted comment says, you're

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Speaker 3: the ahle, whether you are religious or not. For most

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Speaker 3: people who do have a relationship with God, praying for

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Speaker 3: somebody is them showing love. Your baby could have had complications,

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Speaker 3: and she prayed for him because that was the most

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Speaker 3: she could do to help the baby. It's kind of

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Speaker 3: bogus that you can't see her trying to show love

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Speaker 3: only because you don't like the way she did it.

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Speaker 3: That's weird. And op responds, I have no problem with

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Speaker 3: her praying for my child, but that is something she

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Speaker 3: can do without announcing it or expecting us to do

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Speaker 3: the same, especially when talking to a family she knows

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Speaker 3: full well is no religious And I.

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Speaker 1: Will add on to them the big Man above did

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Speaker 1: have problems with all the people in the streets praying like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, look how great I am praying to God. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: He would just be like, go do it on your

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Speaker 3: own diet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I go do it in your tom like I

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Speaker 1: see what people don't see interview.

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Speaker 3: Reward from it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what she's doing, and it's not coming from

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Speaker 1: a humble place. That's really kind of weird too.

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Speaker 2: It is like she's kind of doing like an eye

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Speaker 2: for an eye kind of things, like I prayed for you.

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Speaker 3: Now you have to baptize exactly.

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Speaker 2: It's like, now you have to do all of this

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Speaker 2: without my consent.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No. And I'd also be really worried about like because

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Speaker 3: we've read other stories where you know, kids have been

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Speaker 3: baptized without the permission of the parents. Oh yeah, And

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Speaker 3: so I'd be worried, you know, if she's this, if

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Speaker 3: she's getting this kind of pushy that if she were,

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Speaker 3: you know, taking care of the kid, what would she do.

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Speaker 3: But there's an update. Hey, folks, update time. This might

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Speaker 3: get a little long. I showed my post, along with

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Speaker 3: your comments and my replies to my husband. He told

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Speaker 3: me he agreed I had been rude to my father's girlfriend,

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Speaker 3: but thought she had pushed me to the point in

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Speaker 3: which I had no other choice. He was actually surprised

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Speaker 3: I lasted so long without saying anything. For the record,

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Speaker 3: I'm not opposed to religion or to Catholicism. I have

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Speaker 3: religious friends. I've seen godspell, and I've visited churches without

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Speaker 3: catching fire. One of the most beautiful places I've ever

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Speaker 3: been to was the Metropolitan Cathedral in Brazilia. I managed

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Speaker 3: to endure preaching us for short periods of time. I'm

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Speaker 3: just not religious. There are many reasons why I don't

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Speaker 3: have a good relationship with the church, most of which

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Speaker 3: I'm not comfortable sharing. I will say that I've been

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Speaker 3: agnostic since I was a teenager, and people have been

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Speaker 3: trying to tell me I'm wrong and I need to

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Speaker 3: be Christian or Catholic for longer than that. I also

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Speaker 3: live in a very religious country, which never helped my case.

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Speaker 3: I have always loathed people who obsessively preach about their

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Speaker 3: faith to others. I find it incredibly disrespectful and hypocritical.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't run around telling people what I think as

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Speaker 3: an agnostic, and I expect my acquaintances to do the same.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes you need to be an ale to get your

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Speaker 3: point across. I wish i'd understood that sooner. I think

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Speaker 3: I downplayed how stressful it was to deal with my

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Speaker 3: father's girlfriend's behavior during my pregnancy. Everything happened a lot

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Speaker 3: quicker than I expected. On Monday, my older brother informed

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Speaker 3: me our father and his girlfriend had told him about

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Speaker 3: what happened, apparently expecting him to take their side. He

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Speaker 3: took mine, and they ended up having a short fight.

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Speaker 3: I decided to sort this out with my father before

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Speaker 3: it extended to my sister. A couple days ago, my

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Speaker 3: husband and I called my father and his girlfriend to

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Speaker 3: talk about the subject. I told her that as much

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Speaker 3: as I appreciate how much she seems to care about

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Speaker 3: our son, both me and my husband are uncomfortable with

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Speaker 3: the way she's been trying to push her faith onto

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Speaker 3: our family. We don't want to raise our son as

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Speaker 3: well as any other kids we have in the future,

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Speaker 3: with religion, and we expect the people who will be

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Speaker 3: a part of his life respect that. I told her

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Speaker 3: that moving forward, we wouldn't accept any religious gifts Cross's,

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Speaker 3: Virgin marya, figurines, et cetera, wouldn't entertain any attempts to

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Speaker 3: make us pray or say grace, and would shut down

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Speaker 3: any speeches about accepting Jesus into our hearts. My husband

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Speaker 3: counted seven in December alone. No more hinting that we

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Speaker 3: should baptize as our child either. She is free to

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Speaker 3: pray for us if she wants, but we don't want

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Speaker 3: to know about it. We will respect her faith as

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Speaker 3: long as she respects our boundaries. I think that's a

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Speaker 3: good way to put it. I think that I think

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Speaker 3: you guys, you know, put the boundaries up. It wasn't rude.

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Speaker 3: It was just saying, you can do that on your

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Speaker 3: own time, but if you want to have a relationship

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Speaker 3: with us, this is how it's gonna work. She remained

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Speaker 3: quiet while I said all of this. When I finished,

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Speaker 3: she said, can't you at least put the cross I

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Speaker 3: gave you in his room? Not gonna lie? That was

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Speaker 3: one of the most frustrating things I'd heard someone say

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Speaker 3: to me in a while. My husband nearly lost his patience.

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Speaker 3: I replied with, this is exactly what we're talking about.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 3: The answer has always been no and will always be no,

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Speaker 3: and if you keep refusing to accept that, we will

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Speaker 3: restrict your access to our son. It's that simple. We

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Speaker 3: didn't talk much after that. She apologized and we said

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Speaker 3: we forgave her. Then we said our goodbyes. Later that day,

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Speaker 3: my sister went to their place and she said my

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Speaker 3: father's girlfriend was very quiet and seemed upset. My father

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Speaker 3: called me on his own yesterday and we talked a

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Speaker 3: little more about this. He did try to defend his

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Speaker 3: girlfriend a bit, and if I had a coin for

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Speaker 3: every time he said it's just how she is, I'd

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Speaker 3: be very rich. But he mostly focused on apologizing to me,

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Speaker 3: I accepted it. His girlfriend also texted me with another apology.

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Speaker 3: She sounded more sincere this time. I told her, I

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Speaker 3: don't want her to think I'm doing this out of

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Speaker 3: disrespect for her religion. I simply don't share her beliefs.

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Speaker 3: You told me. She understood by the way. I understand that.

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Speaker 3: You guys can listen to full episodes and stories just

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Speaker 3: like this. Just go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your

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Speaker 3: favorite podcast app and search focused to hard time. There

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Speaker 3: is a little bit left to this story, but any

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Speaker 3: final thoughts.

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Speaker 1: I just hope she sees what she's doing. She should

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Speaker 1: go read about the Pharisees.

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Speaker 3: But there's a little bit left to the story.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's go, and this is it.

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Speaker 3: I don't think this is over, but I feel like

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Speaker 3: I've wasted more than enough energy for now. Part of

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Speaker 3: me is still hopeful this will pass away on its own.

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Speaker 3: Unless my father's girlfriend tries holy waterboarding me sometime soon.

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Speaker 3: I won't update again. My son is happy, healthy and loved.

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Speaker 3: That's all I care about right now. Thank you, guys.

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Speaker 3: I wish you all well, right, we wish you well.

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Speaker 2: That's Sometimes the power of religion.

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Speaker 3: Seems like everything was okay. They had the conversation, the

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Speaker 3: girlfriend seems to have listened, seems like everything's good.

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Speaker 1: The mother of my daughter's boyfriend is horrible. She tried

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Speaker 1: to force me to cancel our trip break them up.

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Speaker 1: I forty female and the mother of a very nice

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Speaker 1: girl who is dating a very nice boy, both nineteen. However,

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Speaker 1: she is not quiet when it comes to criticism when

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Speaker 1: she sees bs going on in her social life, including

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Speaker 1: boyfriend's mother's behavior. By the way, this comes from Extension

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Speaker 1: Student one, p. Fifteen. If you want to spit your

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Speaker 1: own stories, but to our slash okay story dumps up right.

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Speaker 1: So I've heard stories from the boyfriend's mother thirty seven, being,

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Speaker 1: in my daughter's words, a lower scale version of one

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Speaker 1: of those weird boy moms. She tended to be overbearing,

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Speaker 1: making very specific tailored jokes for boyfriend, like not only

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Speaker 1: being able to drive my daughter in his car for

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Speaker 1: a month, but letting him drive the other people. Another time,

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Speaker 1: my daughter accidentally left a spicy kiss on his cheek.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't happy about it either, but I wasn't expecting

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Speaker 1: a verbal apology to me from him about it. She

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Speaker 1: was from my daughter and when I was told it

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Speaker 1: made me uncomfortable. He has also been pinned with punishment

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Speaker 1: for actions of his sister that I suppose he didn't

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Speaker 1: try to stop despy him not knowing it's happened enough

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Speaker 1: that the sister only stays at mom's because she won't

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Speaker 1: punish her like their dad does, and only punishes the boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: She's renowned for making up those kinds of excuses from

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Speaker 1: being an educator. She is one of those parents who

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Speaker 1: will call and make excuses for their daughter's behavior and

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Speaker 1: doing this once, the vice principal told her of a

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Speaker 1: situation they hadn't addressed with her kids yet regarding too

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Speaker 1: much shedd a. I never heard about it and our friend.

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Speaker 1: The principal said they weren't in trouble when my daughter

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Speaker 1: went asking, and even said the vice principal was out

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Speaker 1: of line giving boyfriends a mother that information. She even

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Speaker 1: said in front of my daughter at least three times

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Speaker 1: that boyfriend and a close friend with the same disability

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Speaker 1: could be a cute couple, despite this girl being extremely

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Speaker 1: manipulative and in a relationship herself before she and boyfriend

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Speaker 1: had stopped being friends. Despite all of this, I always

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Speaker 1: tried to get my daughter to see the good size

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Speaker 1: and at least try and see it from a different

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Speaker 1: side and not to be driven crazy by the mom.

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Speaker 1: She continued to be a bit odd, but we met

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Speaker 1: for a senior event that she put off agreeing to

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Speaker 1: until a week before. We'd been inviting boyfriend for months

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Speaker 1: and she wanted to do it all along until she

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Speaker 1: didn't want to do it. She seemed nice and told

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Speaker 1: me she wanted to take my daughter to a concert

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Speaker 1: that summer. I agreed, and we kept talking and I

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Speaker 1: felt like it went well. The concert came up and

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Speaker 1: went to EG Double hockey Sticks. They drove a big

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Speaker 1: seater car with two adults and four other adult kids

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Speaker 1: that broke down halfway through the trip. My daughter messaged

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Speaker 1: me but kept it brief. The car broke down, boyfriend's

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Speaker 1: mom was screaming and freaking out, not doing anything to

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Speaker 1: fix the problem. My daughter looked up rental car services

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Speaker 1: and recommended they call the police to find a local toe.

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Speaker 1: It took half an hour to do this, and when

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Speaker 1: they did, boyfriend's mom used boyfriend's money without telling him.

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Speaker 1: He only knew he paid for the rental car, but

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Speaker 1: later found out she took money for everything without telling him.

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Speaker 1: Uber Toe repairs toe about three thousand dollars and so

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Speaker 1: after the fact, what kind of parents takes a break

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Speaker 1: the kid.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like, took three thousand dollars away from your son.

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Speaker 3: I'm what tech.

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Speaker 1: No, my mom, thank you. Mother had no ties to

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Speaker 1: my bank account whatever. She even took me to the

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Speaker 1: bank to get a set up and had no ties

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Speaker 1: to it.

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Speaker 3: Right, my parents should not be taking out money from

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Speaker 3: your child's bank account unless you talk to them, and

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Speaker 3: there's like, honestly they should be doing it, but it

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Speaker 3: should be like, oh, okay, we needed this money has

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Speaker 3: to go out because we're paying for your college or something.

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Speaker 1: This made my daughter even more uncomfortable, less about the

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Speaker 1: event and more about the character boyfriend's mother displayed. I

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Speaker 1: agreed and understood, but again I didn't want to play

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Speaker 1: devil's advocate and try to sympathize this babst behavior seemed

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Speaker 1: a little important for what ended up happening. We planned

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Speaker 1: my daughter's trip for months. We went for her birthday

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Speaker 1: slash senior trip to a destination at first only two

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Speaker 1: hours away, and then a final one that was four

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Speaker 1: At the first destination, as we were about to leave,

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Speaker 1: boyfriend got a call through my daughter's phone. He got

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Speaker 1: grim and was a bit sad and wouldn't talk to

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Speaker 1: my daughter about it. Before we get to what happened,

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Speaker 1: keep in mind she knew where we were when she

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Speaker 1: called because she wanted an update for every little thing,

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Speaker 1: leaving the driveway, getting on the highway, everything. She does

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Speaker 1: this for everything for her nineteen year old. We made

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Speaker 1: it to dinner at the final destination and boyfriend was

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Speaker 1: still quiet, but told me he had to talk to me.

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Speaker 1: I felt uncomfortable because I knew my daughter was distraught

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Speaker 1: about not knowing what was going on, but I said

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Speaker 1: I would because I was the adult and I needed

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Speaker 1: to know what was up. He said something at home

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00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,280
Speaker 1: and boyfriends and mother needed to talk to me, I said.

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Speaker 1: When we get to the hotel after dinner, we a

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Speaker 1: got in the car, started driving in another country and

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Speaker 1: heard the horror phrase, let me get the phone to her.

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Speaker 1: As I try to navigate this place with my husband

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Speaker 1: always hand on the phone to talk to boyfriends and mother.

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Speaker 1: She did the worst thing that could happen. Did our

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Speaker 1: nephew had a tumor. They found out that afternoon I

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00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:06,440
Speaker 1: was going to be operated on tomorrow question mark. I

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00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,440
Speaker 1: felt awful. We have our own bad luck on trips,

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00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,880
Speaker 1: with family members passing away and getting sick every trip

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Speaker 1: without fail. I felt sympathetic. That was until I was

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Speaker 1: told that boyfriend had to somehow get home to see

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Speaker 1: his cousin. I was in a car with four other

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Speaker 1: people who had been in the car for a total

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Speaker 1: of six hours. I couldn't just turn around and leave

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Speaker 1: without telling them or consulting my husband. I did try

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Speaker 1: and make an effort, though, saying we could try and

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Speaker 1: get back earlier, and we intended tomorrow, leaving a couple

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Speaker 1: of hours and getting there maybe around seven. I got

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Speaker 1: the equivalent of have a heart, he needs to be

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Speaker 1: here soon. God they wait, wait, wait, I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what sooner should be.

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Speaker 3: Okay. Also, they've just driven all of this way. They

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Speaker 3: can't just turn around immediately. That's insane. What do you

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Speaker 3: mean to have a heart? Figure you figure it? If

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Speaker 3: you need him to be back there, then figure out

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Speaker 3: a flight. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you can't.

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Speaker 3: Just tell people that they have to turn around after

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Speaker 3: a seven hour drive.

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Speaker 1: Or whatever how long they drive was it seems like

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00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 1: immediately at least this boyfriend's mother uses everyone of their

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00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,280
Speaker 1: little minions to do xyz for her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's trying to control everyone, and she's like, okay, well,

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Speaker 3: you have to turn around.

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Speaker 1: I threw out that we could leave right in the morning,

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Speaker 1: but hopefully get there for four and she got pissed.

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Speaker 1: She yelled that this was a family tragedy and that

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Speaker 1: would be too late, that his cousin might not wake

377
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,400
Speaker 1: up the same and boyfriend had to be there in

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00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,640
Speaker 1: person to see him before he went under. I stood

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Speaker 1: my ground and said I needed to talk with my

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Speaker 1: husband before I made any decisions. I was not going

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Speaker 1: to turn around and just leave without talking to my

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00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,520
Speaker 1: husband like she clearly was wanting. She bit back, saying

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Speaker 1: that if the shoe were on the other foot, you

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Speaker 1: do everything to get my daughter back home. That pretty

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Speaker 1: much ended the conversation. My husband ended up driving four

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Speaker 1: hours back to meet up halfway with boyfriend's mom or

387
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 1: not even saying thank you to him, and just taking

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00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 1: boyfriend on our way home. The next day, boyfriend told

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Speaker 1: my daughter on the way home his mom doubled down

390
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 1: and said she hated me and felt bad for my

391
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Speaker 1: daughter and husband. She didn't drop the animosity getting mad

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00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 1: about boyfriend wanting to go to family events with those

393
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,439
Speaker 1: people and now inserting herself on some important dates like

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00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,080
Speaker 1: a tattoo my daughter paid for, or boyfriend you didn't contribute,

395
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 1: but just blew up. You won't let him do simple

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00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,640
Speaker 1: things we offer, like borrowing my daughter's car. By the way,

397
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,760
Speaker 1: we can let you borrow our voices for as much

398
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 1: as you want if you go to your favorite podcast

399
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,719
Speaker 1: platform to search up Okay Storytime on Apple, Spotify, wherever,

400
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,080
Speaker 1: dude boom, borrow us all day if you want, We'll

401
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,119
Speaker 1: be there. My daughter is now more uncomfortable, not just

402
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,800
Speaker 1: because of this, but also how because boyfriend's mom is

403
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 1: pregnant and is still smoking green in front of her

404
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,879
Speaker 1: when she's there and talking about baby stuff. Am I

405
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,000
Speaker 1: they able for not leaving another country at eleven at

406
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,480
Speaker 1: night to get boyfriend home to see his cousin for

407
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,000
Speaker 1: what I found out later.

408
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,120
Speaker 3: Was exploratory surgery. I freaking knew it.

409
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:52,359
Speaker 1: I feel like I added fuel to the fire that

410
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 1: I didn't need to. But I also feel that it

411
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,680
Speaker 1: wasn't my impromptu choice to make.

412
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I knew it. I knew it. Exploratory just

413
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,920
Speaker 3: saying like they were checking if there was anything there.

414
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,000
Speaker 3: It wasn't like a It's not like an actual.

415
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 1: Surgery you just found.

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00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,720
Speaker 3: They're looking for something to see. I believe that's my

417
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,440
Speaker 3: understanding of exploratory surgeries, that you're looking if there are

418
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,439
Speaker 3: any like malignant tumors or anything.

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Speaker 1: Dude, some high strung parents just rub me the wrong way.

420
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,000
Speaker 1: I don't know how to deal with them. I feel

421
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 1: uncomfortable around them, and I don't want to be near

422
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,240
Speaker 1: it whatsoever. Just ah, it's like, why are we feeling

423
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 1: this way. Life's gonna happen. It's gonna be all right.

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00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,080
Speaker 1: You can't control the world, to be honest, I don't

425
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 1: think anyone would fault you for wanting to finish your

426
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 1: daughter's senior trip before rushing back for a family emergency.

427
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,400
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like you were shrugging it off

428
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,480
Speaker 1: and refusing to help it all. You were still trying

429
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,680
Speaker 1: to find a solution and be there for your daughter

430
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 1: as well as boyfriend's family. Sometimes you just can't please everyone,

431
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,760
Speaker 1: and you have to do what's best for your own

432
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,720
Speaker 1: family too. Hope, He says, completely agree. I hold no

433
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 1: animosity towards boyfriend's mom. Just don't appreciate the immature behavior

434
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,120
Speaker 1: and doubling down. Stuff happens and it can get emotional.

435
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,720
Speaker 1: I just feel bad about this effect boyfriend and girlfriend's relationship.

436
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 1: In regards to boyfriend's mother's side of the family, she

437
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 1: took her sister's truck to get him, and have no

438
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,880
Speaker 1: doubt this spread like this stuff tends to coming too.

439
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,160
Speaker 1: There was actually an emergency because the boyfriend's mom sounds

440
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 1: like the super controlling type would make up an emergency

441
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,119
Speaker 1: to make him come home. Hope. He says. She has

442
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 1: tried to guilt trip him into coming home from a

443
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: camping trip on his birthday before, but nothing so dramatic

444
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,879
Speaker 1: yet and what we know he blew it bit out

445
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,720
Speaker 1: of proportion in the most serious way I can say.

446
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 1: In context to the scenario of a brain tumor, she

447
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,719
Speaker 1: said it would change the cousin's personality and he possibly

448
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 1: would remember people, making it sound like they were operating

449
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Speaker 1: to a possibly removing some or all of the tumor.

450
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: She is on disability after being a LPN or a

451
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: back surgery, so semi credible. It more ended up being exploratory,

452
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 1: opening him up to get a view of what's going on.

453
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 1: Still dangerous because brain surgery, but not nearly as invasive

454
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,880
Speaker 1: as she made it out as context, he got diagnosed

455
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 1: in scheduled surgery in less than twenty four hours. That's impossible, right,

456
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,679
Speaker 1: They need time for tests, They need to check up

457
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,879
Speaker 1: before putting someone under and that's the end of the story.

458
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,160
Speaker 3: Dang, well, yeah, I don't trust this mom. She's sussed.

459
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 3: It's like, what do you do in I think you

460
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 3: just offer the boyfriend a safe space, you know, where

461
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 3: he can have people who love and support him, because

462
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,439
Speaker 3: it seems like his mom is really out of whack.

463
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, my ex's new girlfriend is furious that his family

464
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 1: still talks to me. She wants him to cut contact.

465
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,360
Speaker 3: Dang, they like you better than her.

466
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 1: February eighteenth, twenty twenty five. So I'm divorced. I will

467
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 1: freely admit that I'm most at fault for the divorce.

468
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 1: I never should have been married. But hindsight is twenty twenty.

469
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 1: As they say, my own family is a crap show

470
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 1: and a half. I've known my exis family for the

471
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: majority of my life. By the way, this comes from

472
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 1: no consequence forty one. If you want to spit your

473
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,360
Speaker 1: own stories, go to our starsh Okay, storytime subredy. When

474
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,679
Speaker 1: we split up, some of his family has kept in

475
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 1: contact with me, including his mom and one of his sisters.

476
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 1: It's nothing crazy, but we grab a drink from time

477
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 1: to time, and his mom just checks in to see

478
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 1: how I'm doing. Knowing how family is, she worries about me,

479
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,199
Speaker 1: even though I tell her not to. We split a

480
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,199
Speaker 1: few years ago, and the divorce was final more than

481
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: a year and a half ago. Despite me being the

482
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,879
Speaker 1: a hole in my marriage, my ex doesn't have any

483
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 1: crazy bitterness and we have a decent relationship now. In

484
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: the years since we split, he's never had an issue

485
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: with his family staying in contact with me. I know

486
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 1: for sure because I've asked inter new girlfriend. They've been

487
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,719
Speaker 1: married for six months or so. She's twenty seven and

488
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: he's sneaking up on forty. Not that big of a deal,

489
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 1: but she's not a fan of the fact that he's

490
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 1: been married before. As I've gotten more serious, she's taken

491
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 1: extreme exception to the fact that his mother and sister

492
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 1: in particular are still keep in contact with me. I'm

493
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 1: petty and laughed my boat off the first time she

494
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 1: came at me all about it. Probably. I talked with

495
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: his mom and sister though, and told them I totally

496
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: understand if they need to cut contact to keep the peace.

497
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 1: They assure me that they would do what they want

498
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 1: to do and not with the girlfriend of a hot

499
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 1: minute demands. Yeah, since I'm still in contact with them,

500
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 1: she's taking the mature approach for posting all my misdeeds

501
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: on social media, some of which have impacts on people

502
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,679
Speaker 1: that don't deserve it. Well, maybe deserve it a little,

503
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: but in any case, it's rocking a lot of boats.

504
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: Three weeks ago, I was out with friends at a bar.

505
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: The new girlfriend was there with the axs. She was

506
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 1: livid and demanded I immediately leave. I gave the appropriate

507
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 1: response and laughed, turned around and continued my conversation. She

508
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 1: proceeded to hit me from behind and smashed my head

509
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,160
Speaker 1: into the bar top. I lost consciousness for a few

510
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 1: and when I came to it, he was being pulled

511
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: away and the cops were being called. I declined charges

512
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: at the time, but was told if I changed my

513
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 1: mind to contact them. So since being petty and posting

514
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: everything about me, I'm thinking maybe those charges sound a

515
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 1: whole lot better. My ex is begging me not to,

516
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 1: saying he will rein her in and get her to stop.

517
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: But man, I want to pull the trigger now and

518
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 1: just do it.

519
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 3: Do it. You should have done it earlier.

520
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 1: As I've admitted, I'm not the good guy in this story,

521
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,640
Speaker 1: but am on the a hole if I do file

522
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 1: charges against this girl.

523
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 3: No, you would be stupid not to file charges. She

524
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 3: attacked you.

525
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got we got some comments. Press charges for sure.

526
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 1: Facebook won't do much, but you can print them out

527
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 1: to show a pattern of aggression with her. It will

528
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: reinforce the harmful act charge and might get you a

529
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: restraining order against her. Op response to that, Even if

530
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: what she posts is the truth, she's not posting lies,

531
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: but at the same time, it's things from years ago

532
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 1: and causing a lot of undue stress for people, including me.

533
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 1: Comment or two. Your ex husband here is kind of hilarious.

534
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: I'm imagining he's standing in front of you, with you

535
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: having the biggest black eye from getting your face smashed

536
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 1: to the table by her, and having the audiitity to say, basically,

537
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 1: I can fix her. Opie says, this makes me smile

538
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,120
Speaker 1: because it's kind of like him. Imagine a hot, massive

539
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 1: six or four, formal football player with the softest heart ever.

540
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 1: He sees the best in everyone to his own detriment.

541
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: He's really a great guy and deserves so much better.

542
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: I don't know this girl's story, but it's a safe

543
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: bet he thinks he can fix her too. Prominy three

544
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: husband has really not upgraded his game. He really needs

545
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 1: therapy to stop with the toxic women, Opie says Loo.

546
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I told him this exact same thing

547
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 1: after the incident and OPI wind and OP pressed charges.

548
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: OP To be fair, it's not for her. I have

549
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 1: a guilt about what I did to my ex. I

550
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 1: definitely was the a hole to him, so I didn't

551
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: press charges for him. But things have starting to go

552
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 1: off the rail since. So it wasn't for her, it

553
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 1: was for my ex. He's ultimately a good guy that

554
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: always wants to fix people that are in some way

555
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 1: broken hints o our doomed marriage. He knew going into

556
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: it that I had issues, but he cared and wanted

557
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 1: to give me a shot. I don't know much of

558
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: anything about this girl because frankly, I didn't feel like

559
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: it concerned me, but maybe he felt she was his

560
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 1: next one to fit fix and it's not going well.

561
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 1: Opi on the relationship with her ex mother in law.

562
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: My ex mother in law is one of the best humans.

563
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: She's long been the mother I've always wished I had,

564
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: even when I was the a hole. She called me

565
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: on it but still cared. I've told her in my

566
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: ex that I understand and will bow out at any time,

567
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 1: but she's still there for me. Ohpi clarifies on being

568
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,199
Speaker 1: involved with her exes family. I'm honestly not involved in

569
00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: my exes family. My relationship with his sister predates our relationship,

570
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: and his mom only checks in on my life and

571
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 1: fills me in on her friend gossip, and my ex

572
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 1: is fine with this. We are friends long before our

573
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: romantic relationship, and while we aren't friends to speak anymore,

574
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: there isn't animosity. Did op know the girlfriend and if

575
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,239
Speaker 1: she's apologetic? Opie says, I honestly don't know next to

576
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: nothing about this girl. While my ex move past all

577
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: our issues and we are good now, I don't feel

578
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: the need to find out all the details on his

579
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: new woman. She was apparently highly intoxicated, and he claims

580
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: it's highly out of character for her to be physical

581
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 1: and violent. But the pettiness now is just too much.

582
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: I don't care if it's out of character, you shouldn't.

583
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 3: There's no excuse. There's no excuse for that.

584
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 1: Absolutely, she's like overwhelmed with jealousy. It's weird. Oh so

585
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 1: what did you do?

586
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 3: Tell us?

587
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: Tell us did OP have any kids with her ex husband?

588
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: We have no kids, but he has one with his

589
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: first wife. They don't live nearby anymore. So I er

590
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: has been directed at me. First wife and I are

591
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: very good friends. If you can believe that. How did

592
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: the girlfriend know about Ope's past with X? Part of

593
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: some therapy I was in. I had a journal where

594
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,199
Speaker 1: I wrote out things. I stupidly forgot it when I

595
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 1: moved out, and it was with his things. She found it.

596
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,400
Speaker 1: She found therapy journals I forgot about and left behind.

597
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,119
Speaker 1: She's posting things from those.

598
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 3: That's messed up. Also, the fact that the ex is

599
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 3: in doing anything about that is also messed up. Like one,

600
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 3: she assaulted Op that's crazy, ah, And two she's posting

601
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 3: private thoughts and things and it seems like the ex

602
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 3: is aware of that because she's posting them on a

603
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 3: public forum and he's not doing anything. And is still

604
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,959
Speaker 3: expecting OP to just be chill with it and not,

605
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 3: you know, press charges.

606
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: All right, February nineteenth the next day, So today I

607
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: learned that my ex actually did split with the girlfriend

608
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: this past weekend.

609
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 3: That makes sense. It would be insane if he stayed

610
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 3: with her. She's crazy.

611
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: After reading many of the comments, I've decided I was

612
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: going to go ahead with the charges. I gave my

613
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: ex mother in law a call just to let her know,

614
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: and so she could let my ex know if she

615
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: had a heads up. I don't know or want to

616
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: know the details of the breakup, but he ended it

617
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 1: and told his mom that he understands if I wanted

618
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: to press charges and that he never should have asked

619
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: me not to in the first place.

620
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 3: Good.

621
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: I spoke with the officer today and that's done. Likely

622
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: little will happened to her, but at least there's some consequences.

623
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: I had a lot of people asking why we divorced

624
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: in the comments and dms without getting it, without getting

625
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: too far into it, I've always been someone that didn't

626
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: believe in monogamy. I freaking knew it or believed it

627
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: was something I was capable of. I knew it. I

628
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 1: knew she cheated. I knew it.

629
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 3: Well wait wait, let's read the next sentence.

630
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: My AX was aware of this going into our relationship.

631
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: I was on board for many years on our own

632
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: definition of our marriage and relationship and by definition, if

633
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: you want to have a good time and continue this

634
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: great thing we got going on here, go to your

635
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: favorite podcast platform searcial up, okay, story time on Apple, Spotify,

636
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts, and we'll have stories as

637
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: crazy as this one. Anyways, back to this, Over the years,

638
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: I could tell that it weighed on him, so I

639
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: tried to change believe in the things he did, but

640
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: ultimately it just didn't work. I ended the marriage, large

641
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: part because he wanted more kids and I did not.

642
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 1: I was at the angel and the end was a

643
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: little messy, but we came to a good place. Thanks

644
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: again for the messages. Those who maybe more laugh more

645
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 1: than they should have. And that is the end of

646
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: that story.

647
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 3: Wow, I need more information about anything I do. I

648
00:29:55,760 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 3: need more information real Yeah, like what did you and

649
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 3: I mean it seems like you were going to press

650
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: the charges? What happened with that's he's bringing with his girlfriend?

651
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 3: How did she take it? What did you do? Did

652
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 3: you cheat? I don't understand.

653
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: I think she cheated. I think well she was like.

654
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 3: Oh, we had an understanding that I didn't do monogamy.

655
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: I hadn't understanding.

656
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 3: But then but then they like it.

657
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 1: He didn't. He probably didn't agree with it. It didn't

658
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: work out. Lack of communication, Slash being on the same page.

659
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 3: All right, I guess that's fine. Sam.

660
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories.

661
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 3: But here's three of it's bads from our sponsors. My

662
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 3: wife Sex is terminally ill. His make a wish is

663
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 3: to spend a day with her. I thought make a

664
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 3: Wish was for kids. Hello Reddit, my wife, let's call

665
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 3: her Susan and I have been married for eight years.

666
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: I've known her even before we were together, during which

667
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 3: she was dating someone named Ken, obviously not her real name.

668
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 3: We were all part of a choral group in our church.

669
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from throw a Last Wish

670
00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 3: and if you would have submit your own stories, go

671
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 3: to our slash oakey his storytime sub read it. So

672
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 3: the three of us were actually quite good friends, and

673
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 3: I genuinely thought Susan and Ken were going to be married.

674
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 3: Slash be together for a long time. It was a

675
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 3: shock when Susan told me that they're no longer together.

676
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 3: According to her, one day, Ken just decided that he

677
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: wanted to move interstate. When we asked why, he didn't explain.

678
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 3: The next day, he asked Susan if she wanted to

679
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 3: join him. Confused, Susan said no since she thought it

680
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 3: was way too soon and she has work commitments. He

681
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 3: then proceeded to break up with her, leaving Susan very

682
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 3: depressed and confused. According to an information from friend several

683
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 3: months after the breakup, Ken had planned this for a

684
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 3: long time and that he was seeing someone else inter state. However,

685
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 3: these were all allegations based on some texts, and until

686
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 3: now Susan never found out why he left or why

687
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 3: he broke up with her. It was all very confusing.

688
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 3: When asked by friends on why they were no longer together,

689
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 3: she simply said, I don't know. He just broke up

690
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 3: with me because I don't want to move interstate with him.

691
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 3: Years past, we all forgot about it. Susan started to

692
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 3: open up to me more and then we started dating.

693
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 3: The rest followed anyway. Yesterday, Susan received a call from

694
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 3: Ken's mom. She's a nice lady who semi frequently watches

695
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 3: our performances and volunteers during the Christmas carol season. It

696
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 3: was all very sudden because we only see her once

697
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 3: or twice a year, and she never called in the past.

698
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 3: She told Susan that Ken is terminally ill and has

699
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 3: been for the past couple months. He is in a

700
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 3: local hospital interstate. The hospital has a mini Make a

701
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 3: Wish foundation run by volunteers, and apparently Ken's request is

702
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 3: to go to the National Park for a picnic with her.

703
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 3: It's all weird, right, I thought it was a bluff too,

704
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 3: but it all seems legit. I talked to Ken's mom

705
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 3: and we both agreed that it's odd. Ken's mom said

706
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 3: that Susan doesn't have to say yes, she's simply passing

707
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 3: on what Ken said. The prognosis for Ken is grim,

708
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 3: and we don't know how much time we have left.

709
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 3: I suppose the sooner we decide, the better. Susan is

710
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 3: obviously confused. She wants nothing to do with Ken again

711
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 3: after what he's done to her and a lengthy period

712
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 3: has passed since then, but she admitted that she would

713
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 3: feel bad refusing his last wish, especially if his prognosis

714
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 3: is that grim. She said jokingly, Well, you don't have

715
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 3: to worry about me cheating. He's got to pass away anyway.

716
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 3: A bit dark, but I mean she has a point. Personally,

717
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 3: I'm torn too. I trust Susan and I know nothing

718
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 3: romantic or anything will come from this if she chooses

719
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 3: to see Ken. But why does he want to see

720
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 3: her now her closure? That's the only thing I can

721
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 3: think of. You will most likely have a hospital volunteers

722
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 3: stick around when he goes to the outing, so it's

723
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 3: not like he can do anything weird, But why hurt?

724
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 3: Why not use his wish for something else, reversing the situation. However,

725
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: if I'm terminally ill and obviously have an intention to

726
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 3: meet someone, et cetera, and it gets rejected, I would

727
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 3: be beyond depressed. I know how awful it must be

728
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 3: for your life wish to be rejected. Am I looking

729
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 3: too much into this? Should we honor his wish and

730
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 3: let Susan spend the day with him or should we

731
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 3: just refuse? Any input is appreciated and edit forgot to

732
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 3: add that when going for the picnic there will be

733
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 3: a hospital volunteer taging along to supers Ken so they

734
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 3: won't be alone. And there is an update.

735
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 1: Sophia, how does it go till death do us part?

736
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 3: But they weren't married.

737
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: I mean they were married, so he could do that.

738
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 3: I think that one. You gotta listen to what Susan wants.

739
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 3: Is she gonna be super uncomfortable doing this because she

740
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 3: was pretty hurt about the situation. It seems. I don't know,

741
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 3: I don't know what would you do in this situation.

742
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 3: Your beautiful girlfriend that you have right now is messaged

743
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 3: by an ex and the exes is passing away and says,

744
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,399
Speaker 3: my make a wish is for you to to spend

745
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,280
Speaker 3: a day with me at a national park.

746
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 2: That's crazy, bro, your that's your one.

747
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 3: That's just what I'm doing.

748
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: Is I'm going to say no, but that if he

749
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,240
Speaker 1: keeps pursuing that, I'm going to help his day become closer.

750
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 3: But there is an update. So my wife got hold

751
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 3: of Ken's mom and we managed to ask more questions

752
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 3: and clarifications. Thanks to those of you for your input

753
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 3: on this one. Ken's mom only just heard about his

754
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 3: plan to see Susan yesterday, not no mention of it

755
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 3: at all. Throughout his hospital's day. Ken has been reaching

756
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 3: out to a lot of people recently, including his high

757
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 3: school friends. She thinks that this could be a blanket

758
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 3: attempt to reconcile with many people. When asked if she

759
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 3: remembered anything slush if Ken said anything rebreak up with Susan.

760
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 3: Susan actually asked this question herself. She said that she

761
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: didn't even know both of them broke up until a

762
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 3: couple weeks after. That's crazy. An interesting thing, she said

763
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 3: is that Ken has always felt that there's nothing much

764
00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 3: for him to do in the state. He was a

765
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,320
Speaker 3: rich from the state we're in, and that he wanted

766
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 3: to do something different. He may have jumped the pew

767
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 3: too quickly, landed a job too soon without consulting Susan

768
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 3: he didn't, and freaked when realizing Susan was not ready

769
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 3: to move. Ken's mom thinks this is most likely the

770
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 3: cause of the breakup, even though Ken never told her

771
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 3: exactly why. They're not very close. Upon hearing this, Susan

772
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 3: thinks it makes sense, but she said what he did

773
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 3: was still not very nice because he never told her

774
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 3: that he was unhappy with their living arrangements at the time.

775
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 3: Even Though Ken did well in his new job, it

776
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 3: was very stressful and he got into weed, alcohol, heavy smoking.

777
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 3: These contribute to his current illness. That sucks. It has

778
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 3: been confirmed a medical volunteer will accompany him if he

779
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 3: does choose to go outside hospital grounds. Since Ken is

780
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 3: getting more unsteady on his feet, he will most likely

781
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 3: be wheelchair bound soon, according to her. When asked why

782
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 3: meeting Susan in a park was his idea, Ken's mom

783
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: simply had no idea. Ken is happy for me to

784
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 3: accompany Susan to the park venue wherever it may be. Oh,

785
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 3: that's an added this is an added kind of variable. Now,

786
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 3: so now you get to go with Angie to this

787
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 3: date not a date.

788
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 2: Listen, if I know this is like not even a

789
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 2: threat anymore. I know this guy is not making it. Yeah,

790
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, Carly, let's go see her.

791
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 4: I think if you're cool with your ex, let's go

792
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 4: see your no funny business, let's go great. Yeah, I

793
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,280
Speaker 4: would like, I want to respect the wishes of someone's

794
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 4: literal last wish. I'm like, that's a weird wish, bro,

795
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,919
Speaker 4: but like yeah, sure, Like if that's what you want,

796
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 4: you don't want to talk to Disneyland or go to

797
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 4: another country.

798
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 3: You want to do that. I feel like now that

799
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 3: he's kind of like allow you know, oh he's allowed

800
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 3: to come, I think it's chill.

801
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I I if it was for me, I don't know, man,

802
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 1: I'd do this for certain axes.

803
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, That's what I said.

804
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: Ever thing.

805
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 3: He is also fine with us meeting him in the hospital,

806
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 3: but there is a strict two person a day visiting

807
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 3: rule and a place at the moment, so his mom

808
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 3: may not be able to look after him if the

809
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 3: both of us rock up at the same time. His

810
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 3: mom would likely would like to visit him daily to

811
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 3: help with daily living baths. Ken is reluctant with a

812
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 3: Skype call or phone call in general. Kenswolm stated that

813
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 3: his speech is quite slurred at his stage, and he

814
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,439
Speaker 3: hasn't been eating and drinking much lately, so his mouth

815
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 3: is dry most days, so it's uncomfortable for him to speak.

816
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 3: Writing a letter is not something he can do these

817
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 3: days due to him being drowsy from medication flash dated.

818
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,359
Speaker 3: Dictating would be hard too, because see point above. She's

819
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 3: been helping him type emails to friends some days. There

820
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,720
Speaker 3: is a possibility of Ken being transferred to his mom's

821
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 3: home for his end of life if it gets to

822
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:46,240
Speaker 3: that stage. Ken's mom reiterates that Susan can decline the offer,

823
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 3: and with everyone everything going on in the world, she

824
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:52,720
Speaker 3: would understand if she can't make it, but she hopes

825
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 3: that we would consider it for her son. With this

826
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 3: update and conversation with his mom, we're more inclined to

827
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 3: go instead of not going. Yeah, still would like some

828
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 3: thoughts on what we may have missed, though I think

829
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 3: it covers everything.

830
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 1: Now.

831
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 3: We will be in regular contact with his mom until

832
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 3: we know what's going on. Susan and I did a

833
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 3: mini risk assessment and we conclude that this is pretty harmless.

834
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 3: She said she still feels apathetic towards him, but would

835
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 3: still feel bad if she doesn't go to visit, so

836
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,879
Speaker 3: she would like to go with me. Now that Ken

837
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 3: and his mom said it's okay for both of.

838
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,479
Speaker 1: Us to go, I will say this changes things.

839
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 3: I think it changes a lot. I think before I

840
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 3: was like a little bit of reservations, but I was

841
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 3: still like, yeah, I probably can.

842
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,359
Speaker 1: And then you throw like the terminally ill part into it. Yeah,

843
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,959
Speaker 1: can't really do much. You can't make moves on my girl.

844
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.

845
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying, terminally ill. And also you can

846
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 3: go with your partner, and it seems like he just

847
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 3: wants to make amends.

848
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 2: This is like you want to make sure this person

849
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 2: like rest rest in peace literally, you know.

850
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 3: But there is another update Update three. Susan and I

851
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 3: just got back from doing shopping and chores and we

852
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 3: had some more talks about this. We actually reached out

853
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 3: to a a couple of our friends in the choral group,

854
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 3: and one of them actually knew Ken's been unwell, just

855
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 3: didn't know that he's that unwell. No one really talks

856
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,879
Speaker 3: about Ken in our group because Susan and I are

857
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 3: still there. The fact that he's this unwell has been

858
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 3: kept under wraps quite tightly. Susan said, it seems like

859
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 3: she has the power to make Ken's end of life

860
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 3: a bit easier, so she would like to visit him

861
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 3: along with me and listen to what he has to say,

862
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 3: if any and that's the end of it. We don't

863
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 3: know what the logistics will be when this will happen,

864
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 3: since obviously it would require a lot of planning from

865
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 3: Ken's family as well and himself, but I will post

866
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,760
Speaker 3: an update once we all meet him. Since there seems

867
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,720
Speaker 3: to be a lot of interest in this, We've texted

868
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,359
Speaker 3: our choral group members to perhaps visit him together when

869
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,359
Speaker 3: the time is right and restrictions are lifted, and they

870
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 3: were all keen to send him off with one last song,

871
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 3: the Irish Blessing. We will be reading through the comments

872
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 3: and replying the best we could. For those of you

873
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 3: saying make a Wedge foundation is for kids, we know this.

874
00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 3: This is the hospital's version of it, run completely by volunteers.

875
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 3: It is only available in their end of life care facilities.

876
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 3: I'm sure there is a proper name for this. And

877
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 3: Ken's mom said make a wish because it explains what

878
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,280
Speaker 3: they do. Simply why at the bark no clue? Probably

879
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 3: because it's pretty. But Ken must have said to the

880
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 3: organizer with his mom and she simply related with him

881
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 3: being that sick. I'm sure he didn't really care so

882
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 3: much about the location, as signified by his willingness for

883
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 3: a change of venue and for me to join in too.

884
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 3: And why did we decide to post this on Reddit? Well,

885
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 3: because it's simply a very weird occurrence It was a

886
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 3: joke actually, Susan said, why not post this on ra

887
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 3: and see what kind of interesting perspectives we get. If

888
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 3: it's just Ken and he's not passing away and he

889
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 3: wants to meet Susan at the park out of the blue,

890
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 3: then the answer would have been heck no from the

891
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 3: both of us. But the fact that he's been reaching

892
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 3: out to others after revelation with his mom of course

893
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 3: and unwell makes it a bit more complicated. There is

894
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 3: a third update. We will be seeing Ken next week.

895
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,320
Speaker 3: The hospital doesn't allow large groups, so it will be

896
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 3: the two of us visiting. The choir group will visit separately.

897
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 3: Thank you all for your input. We will make a

898
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 3: post with an update on how that goes. Oh that

899
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 3: was a short update, and there is a fourth U date.

900
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 3: We're gonna barrel into that one. The meeting actually went

901
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 3: really well, okay great, So after a couple of reschedules,

902
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 3: we drove to the hospital to see Ken and his

903
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:21,720
Speaker 3: mom earlier this week. We arrived quite early in the morning,

904
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 3: around eight am. His mom stays with him overnight most days,

905
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 3: so it was good timing for her to hand over

906
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 3: Ken to us while she goes back and rest. A

907
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 3: redditor suggested an idea that we brought in a care

908
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 3: package for her, and we did. It's just a box

909
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 3: filled with a couple pairs of warm socks, moisturizer, books,

910
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 3: and toiletries. She burst into tears when receiving those. It

911
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 3: was such a great idea. Anyway, Firstly, we came together,

912
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 3: my wife and myself, and we did a small ketchup.

913
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,280
Speaker 3: It was a slow process since Ken couldn't really speak

914
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,839
Speaker 3: too long in one go, if that makes sense, so

915
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 3: it had to be broken up in sections. I asked

916
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 3: him if he would like some time alone with Susan,

917
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 3: and he's said yes. So I left both of them

918
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 3: alone and went out for a walk and to do

919
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 3: a bit of remote work on my laptop. I just

920
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 3: told her to text me if she needs anything. So

921
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 3: I left Susan and Ken for about a couple hours

922
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 3: before Susan texted me that I can come back up anyway.

923
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 3: During this time, basically, Susan asked what happened to Ken,

924
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 3: why did he move interstates so soon? And was there

925
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:25,320
Speaker 3: another motive behind it? Well, the story goes as follows.

926
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 3: For finally finding out the reason why Ken broke up

927
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 3: with Susan. Years later, Ken was working a low paying

928
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 3: job at the time and was feeling like he was

929
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:38,760
Speaker 3: never going to get any career progression. Susan and myself

930
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 3: knew Ken has always been creative minded. He got a

931
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 3: diploma and film and everything, but we didn't know is

932
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 3: that behind everyone's back. During that time, he was searching

933
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 3: for a career opportunities in film and animation industry. He

934
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 3: put in a job application for fun, and a few

935
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 3: months later got offered a position as an intern animator

936
00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 3: something along those lines. According to Susan, he was stoked,

937
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 3: but he didn't expect that he would actually get the job. Therefore,

938
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 3: he actually never planned anything in advance. But you should

939
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 3: tell your partner about that, regardless of whether or not

940
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 3: you think it's gonna happen. The job required him to

941
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:15,919
Speaker 3: move interstate asap, and Ken felt pressure to say yes

942
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 3: since he's applied to other similar jobs in the past

943
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 3: but got rejected. Hence by it took him by surprise

944
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 3: and he didn't do any planning. It's the well, I

945
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 3: won't get it anyway, so why should I make arrangements mentality,

946
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 3: according to Susan, So he asked Susan to move with him,

947
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 3: but left out the job details, since as an intern,

948
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,760
Speaker 3: he will get paid even less than what he's earning

949
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 3: with a lot of voluntary work, he was scared that

950
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 3: Susan will not approve of the lower way. He left

951
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 3: out the details and just asked her to move out

952
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 3: with them. He admitted it was stupid and apologized for

953
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,360
Speaker 3: being immature about it. After the breakup and after working

954
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 3: a few months as an intern, he said that working

955
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 3: in the industry is not like what he thought it

956
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 3: would be. There was a lot of crunch time, to

957
00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 3: the point where him and the other interns were spending

958
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,439
Speaker 3: most of their time in the office, even sleeping while

959
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 3: waiting for the program Code Animation to finish compiling. Dang,

960
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 3: I'm not tech savvy, but I figured animations take a

961
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 3: long time to set up. Yeah. He then got into

962
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 3: booze since everyone in the office also drinks. This then

963
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 3: turned to severe drinking to cope with stress. This then

964
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 3: turned to smoking and substances. Anyway, he stuck it out

965
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 3: and became a technical lead, but he said he had

966
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 3: zero social life or support apart from a couple of colleagues,

967
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 3: and that he's burning himself out every day. The support

968
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 3: he got was basically a small group that goes out

969
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 3: on social drinks only that's why he kept going back

970
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 3: into booze and substances. He's been in and out of

971
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 3: hospital with booze poisoning and actually never sought help. He

972
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 3: said he might also be depressed, but he's earning enough

973
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 3: just to pay rent with all his booze expenses, so

974
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 3: he didn't seek any help. He also did a lot

975
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,399
Speaker 3: of other bad decisions that are popcornworthy but way too

976
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 3: long to include here, things that got him arrested fire

977
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 3: from his job, so he had to find another, et cetera,

978
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 3: et cetera. When asked about the park situation, he said

979
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 3: there was no malice intended. It was only because he

980
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 3: was sick of being in a hospital all the time

981
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 3: with no window of opportunity to go outside, and that's it.

982
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 1: Really.

983
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 3: His substance abuse got him to where he is now.

984
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 3: I managed to catch up with him and reminisce about

985
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,240
Speaker 3: the good old days when we were still hanging out together.

986
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 3: Told them it's hard to see anyone these days due

987
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 3: to the VID. He said that a few of his

988
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 3: old friends from school have visited him and he was

989
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 3: so happy that they still care. He told me that

990
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 3: he tried reaching out to his former girlfriend as well

991
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 3: to apologize, but only Susan turned up. He has had

992
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 3: other relationships since breaking up with her. He said, he's

993
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 3: sad about it, but he would like to tie up

994
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 3: loose ends while he still has the time. Okay, Oh,

995
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 3: that's so sad.

996
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 1: It is sad. It is sad to hear that he

997
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 1: had a rough life and things in it the way

998
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:53,720
Speaker 1: it led.

999
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 3: To this, and it's really I mean, I'm sure it's

1000
00:46:56,480 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 3: devastating for him to you know, go through all that

1001
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 3: and then kind of have that period of reflection as

1002
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 3: he's passing away that he's made all these mistakes and

1003
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 3: this is the only time that he's going to have

1004
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 3: to fix them.

1005
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Good on you guys for giving him the space

1006
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: to apologize. That is I mean, that's really big. You

1007
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,359
Speaker 1: don't have to Yeah. Yeah, and now they have all

1008
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: the context here is incredible.

1009
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 3: In terms of his prognosis, I asked, and he said

1010
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 3: he doesn't know, though there are plans for him to

1011
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,959
Speaker 3: continue end of life care at home and he would

1012
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 3: prefer it that way. When we left Ken, I asked

1013
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 3: Susan what she thought of everything, and she told me

1014
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: that she felt a lot better now that she's gone

1015
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 3: and seen him. She then told me all of the

1016
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 3: story above. During the ride back home, plenty of time

1017
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 3: she was cursing and saying, man, I can't believe you

1018
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 3: did that. What a dumb person. So for those of

1019
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 3: you who are worried that she might go back to Ken,

1020
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 3: sorry to burst your bubble. I don't think it's happening.

1021
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 3: I mean, he's also passing away. I asked her how

1022
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,359
Speaker 3: she's feeling again the next day, and she's pretty much

1023
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 3: forgotten about it and just hope that his mom can

1024
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 3: cope with this since she's a nice person. He does

1025
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 3: look a lot less guilty, though, so I'm glad we

1026
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 3: did go. We haven't really touched on this topic again

1027
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 3: for days now, since we've been focusing more on work

1028
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 3: and our upcoming road trip. They're literally taking.

1029
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:12,399
Speaker 1: A vacation, dude.

1030
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 3: This is literally what I said. But you know what

1031
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 3: is upcoming full episodes with stories just like this. Just

1032
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,439
Speaker 3: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast stapp

1033
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 3: and search a pokey story time. But there is just

1034
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 3: a teeny teeny bit left to the story. But I

1035
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 3: think that it all worked out. I mean, it's still

1036
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 3: really sad that you know, this man is passing away,

1037
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 3: but it seems like he had that moment of closure. Yeah,

1038
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 3: and also that OPI and his wife didn't feel uncomfortable

1039
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 3: giving that to him. But there's a little bit left

1040
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 3: to the story. Thanks for all the editors who chimed

1041
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 3: in and helped from both perspectives. In these uncertain times,

1042
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 3: we should still try to be kind to others. And

1043
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 3: if there's any takeaway from this is to seek help

1044
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 3: if you need it. Obviously, Ken was in a bad

1045
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 3: spot but spurred by bad influences. If you know a

1046
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,320
Speaker 3: friend of yours who's spiraling out of control or starting

1047
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 3: to get into destructive habits, reach out. Who knows you

1048
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 3: might save a life. That's sad. That is a sad

1049
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 3: note end on OUCH. But that is the end of

1050
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,800
Speaker 3: that story. And I mean it's very sad, but it

1051
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 3: worked out in some ways.

1052
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I'm just proud of you guys for being

1053
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: the angels.

1054
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, yeah, you definitely did not have to

1055
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 3: do that, so it's very very kind of you.

1056
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 1: But you don't have to worry about another one of

1057
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:33,800
Speaker 1: your girlfriend's xes anymore.

1058
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 3: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here.

1059
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1060
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1061
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 3: My entitled ex stepmother feels entitled to a relationship with

1062
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 3: me after six years of no contact.

1063
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:48,839
Speaker 1: Sounds like you got to earn that one.

1064
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm. I twenty four female, am a child of divorce.

1065
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,439
Speaker 3: My biological parents split when I was four years old.

1066
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 3: My mother started dating again when I was seven to

1067
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 3: a wonderful man, and I love him to death. But

1068
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 3: my absolute idiot of a father dated several women between

1069
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 3: the time I was four to eight. Half of the

1070
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,239
Speaker 3: time he was in and out of my life as

1071
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 3: it was. But that's not what this is about. By

1072
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from DMG fifty six twenty and

1073
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 3: if you want to spit your own stories, go to

1074
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 3: our slashowcase story time separate it. This is about his

1075
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 3: last girlfriend, his wife prior to his dad. My stepmother,

1076
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 3: whom I affectionately call my ex step witch SB, walked

1077
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 3: into my life after she met my dad while she

1078
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,439
Speaker 3: was in a women's rehab group in my hometown where

1079
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 3: my dad and his Christian rock band Plane buried Bible

1080
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 3: Belt area of the southern US. I always had an

1081
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 3: issue with the women girls that walked into my life

1082
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 3: because of bullying due to my absolutely insane name that

1083
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 3: this man gave me, as well as his first girlfriend

1084
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 3: after leaving my mother, abusing me and my little sister

1085
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 3: when we were very young, not to mention that the

1086
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 3: reason he and my mother divorced was because he was

1087
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 3: constantly on substances. So I was very aware of what

1088
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:54,760
Speaker 3: her rehab group was for, which made my skepticism even worse.

1089
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 3: She showed up one day when I was eight and

1090
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 3: a half. I remember because it was summer and my

1091
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 3: birthday was in January. It was my dad's week fifty

1092
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,360
Speaker 3: to fifty custody and Dad was going to take me

1093
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 3: and my sister to our uncle's house to go swimming,

1094
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 3: but we were waiting for stepmother. It was that day

1095
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 3: that Dad told me and my at the time seven

1096
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 3: year old sister that they were dating and had been

1097
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 3: for three months without saying anything to us for minder contacts.

1098
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 3: My dad screamed at my mom for not telling her

1099
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 3: that she was dating someone, so there were issues in

1100
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 3: that for me. I distinctly remember looking at my dad,

1101
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 3: then at stepmother, then back at Dad and her again

1102
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 3: until I pointed at her and told my dad she's

1103
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 3: going to do something bad. That was the beginning of

1104
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 3: our day. Name fast forward to not only my dad

1105
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 3: getting married to this woman, but me being used by

1106
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 3: her as a test subject for her psychology degree. What

1107
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:42,800
Speaker 3: She never finished this, By the way, I was eleven

1108
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 3: at this time and playing in my bedroom with my

1109
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 3: sister and cousin, waiting for lunch after church on Super

1110
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 3: Bowl Sunday of twenty twelve. My sister and cousin were

1111
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 3: on the computer that was in my room because we

1112
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 3: didn't have enough TVs. They were playing Movie Star Planet,

1113
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 3: which was all the rage at the time, and were

1114
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 3: using the camera feature. When the flash went off, I

1115
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 3: started to feel funny, to say the least, so much

1116
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 3: so that I started seeing red dots everywhere. I told

1117
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:05,480
Speaker 3: the two of them, and my cousin made the joke

1118
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 3: that I was about to have a seizure, and to

1119
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 3: my surprise, he was right. Now, this next part I

1120
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 3: don't have much memory of other than stories for my sister,

1121
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 3: cousin and Dad telling me after I came to Apparently,

1122
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,240
Speaker 3: the two of them ran downstairs to get a drink,

1123
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 3: leaving me on the bed until my dad came upstairs

1124
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 3: to get me for lunch. Apparently I was having a

1125
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,839
Speaker 3: full ran mouth seizure out of nowhere, and my dad

1126
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 3: did everything he could think of to keep me from

1127
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:30,760
Speaker 3: hurting myself while calling nine one.

1128
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 1: One time out terrified. Did this woman make you have

1129
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 1: a seizure somehow? Now? Was that why she was testing you?

1130
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: And was like, hey, you're about to have a seizure

1131
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 1: and they called it too soon right before that it

1132
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 1: actually happened. Well then that was the cousin that called it. Well,

1133
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: some information probably slipped. I probably heard it through the

1134
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: Vince was like, good a seizure, then boom.

1135
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 3: I remember waking up a little in the ambulance and

1136
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 3: my dad telling me I was okay and I should

1137
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 3: go back to sleep, which I did. Next I knew

1138
00:52:56,920 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 3: I heard noises, one of those being touchdown Patriots my

1139
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 3: dad cheering. The first thing I said after waking up

1140
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 3: was asking if he was watching the Super Bowl without me.

1141
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 3: That's when the room exploded. It was the first time

1142
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 3: since I was very young that my mom and dad

1143
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 3: were in the same room and not screaming at each other,

1144
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 3: not the last, but that's a different story. I remember

1145
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 3: looking around after my eyes adjusted to see I was

1146
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:19,400
Speaker 3: in a white room, a hospital room, still in my

1147
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 3: church dress that I was going to change out after

1148
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 3: lunch and before the game. My mom and dad called

1149
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,759
Speaker 3: the doctor back in to check on me, and I

1150
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 3: was scheduled for so many different appointments after that, including

1151
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,439
Speaker 3: a sudden re entry to the hospital because we found

1152
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 3: out I was allergic to the seizure med they gave

1153
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 3: me while I was unconscious. Oh USh, just hit after

1154
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 3: hit man. This part was told me years later by

1155
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 3: my mother when I was about seventeen. Apparently, while I

1156
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 3: was passed out and getting tests done, stepmother, instead of

1157
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:49,360
Speaker 3: checking on me, caulled our pastor to pray over me.

1158
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 3: He was a good man, but I now have nothing

1159
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,759
Speaker 3: to do with the Christian faith because of stepmother and

1160
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 3: my dad. But because it was a smaller hospital and

1161
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 3: involved a child, it was only direct family allowed inside

1162
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 3: the room with me. Stepmother told the hospital staff that

1163
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 3: she was my biological mother. We looked nothing alike, and

1164
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 3: she was twenty eight when I was eleven. When my

1165
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 3: real mom showed up, the pastor, who was outside the

1166
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,920
Speaker 3: room told her it was family only, and when she

1167
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 3: told him that she was my mother, and thankfully one

1168
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 3: of the new nurses that showed up was a friend

1169
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 3: of my mom's, she was let in and Stepmother was

1170
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 3: punted out. From what I'm told, stepmother got yelled at

1171
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 3: by our pastor for lying to him about my mother

1172
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 3: not having anything to do with me or my sister,

1173
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 3: when in fact she was very involved in her lives.

1174
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 3: Good on the pastor. I was supposed to go to

1175
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,359
Speaker 3: her house that day after she got off work, which

1176
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,319
Speaker 3: was conveniently right after the Super Bowl. Anyway, after I

1177
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,319
Speaker 3: was released from the hospital and my mom took me

1178
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 3: home to her house, things were okay. I was off

1179
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 3: school for a week because the seizure came out of nowhere,

1180
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 3: and my primary wanted to have me come in every

1181
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 3: other day for checkups just in case things changed. However,

1182
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 3: when I went back to my dad's I had gotten

1183
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:52,359
Speaker 3: off school after my first day back, and while I'm

1184
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 3: doing my tours, which was washing dishes that day, stepmother

1185
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 3: came into the kitchen while my dad was in their

1186
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 3: bedroom playing World of Warcraft and told me that I

1187
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 3: was on my fault, that the church is mad at her,

1188
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 3: and she hated me for it. This lady's crazy, he

1189
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 3: put it.

1190
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 1: They're putting a lot of pressure on.

1191
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 3: A child who literally didn't do any was in a like,

1192
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 3: was in, you know, in the hospital, and then you

1193
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 3: lied about being her mother, and then her actual mother

1194
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 3: said no, I'm her mom. And that's what got you

1195
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 3: in trouble again. I'm eleven, and this twenty eight year

1196
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 3: old woman is blaming me for her getting in trouble

1197
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 3: with a man she lied to. Not to mention that.

1198
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 3: She and my dad would tell me anytime I was

1199
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,080
Speaker 3: sick after the seizure, it was on my head, or

1200
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 3: you're overreacting. Your pain can't be hospital level. My dad

1201
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 3: was a Navy veteran, so he always used that line

1202
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 3: whenever I was hurting, not realizing that medication I had

1203
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 3: been taking for years made my pain tolerance severely low. Ironically, though,

1204
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 3: they were sort of right, explained further down. Since that day,

1205
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,839
Speaker 3: we absolutely despised each other to the point that no

1206
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 3: matter what I did, I was getting Bible thumped, even

1207
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 3: going so far as to make me late for an

1208
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 3: assignment for my freshman English class in high school because

1209
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:58,799
Speaker 3: I made the mistake of claiming Greek mythology made more

1210
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:00,919
Speaker 3: sense to me than the Bible. This still holds true

1211
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 3: to this day. I'm practicing Norse pagan moon Wigan. She

1212
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 3: even got so insecure about my blatant hatred of her

1213
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 3: that she asked me to show her my messages between

1214
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 3: me and my counselor that I was assigned because of

1215
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 3: dual self harm attempts. I was fourteen at that time,

1216
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:16,760
Speaker 3: and even I, someone who at the time was studying

1217
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 3: away forensic science and had an unhealthy obsession with criminal

1218
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,479
Speaker 3: minds in law and order, knew that was illegal as heck,

1219
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 3: and told my counselor about it at our next session.

1220
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 3: That nonsense got shut down very fast, Thankfully. She's been

1221
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 3: mostly out of my life since I was seventeen, when

1222
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 3: my father passed away of a substance ode wow withdrawal

1223
00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 3: induced heart attack. Me and my father had apparently been

1224
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 3: on substances again, big shocker and a personal I told

1225
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 3: you so on my part, and subjecting me and my

1226
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,839
Speaker 3: sister to the fumes, which made me violently ill for

1227
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 3: several months, and we didn't know why until Dad passed.

1228
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 3: The last time I saw her was six months after

1229
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,439
Speaker 3: he passed away when I turned eighteen, and I got

1230
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 3: the one thing of my dad's that I wanted, which

1231
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:59,760
Speaker 3: was a twelve string electric guitar big music Family. However,

1232
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:02,680
Speaker 3: that wasn't the last time she tried to make contact

1233
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 3: with me. Recently, while I was in college, already stressed

1234
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 3: out because of more health issues that stemmed from the

1235
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 3: seizure incident coming up and the sudden passing away of

1236
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 3: one of my dad's four sons, stepmother started to spam

1237
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 3: my Facebook messenger asking how I was doing, if school

1238
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 3: was going good, all this kind of crap, only to

1239
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 3: yell at me for coming out as a demi girl

1240
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 3: semi non binary that leads towards the feminine side. I

1241
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 3: was using dayvam at the time, and she called me

1242
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 3: an abomination, which was strange because I didn't tell her

1243
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 3: or anyone else outside of my college friends who were

1244
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 3: on the other side of the country from where she

1245
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 3: was back in my home state. Apparently, my one brother,

1246
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 3: who still has contact with her for some reason, told

1247
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 3: her about me, asking to be called sibling on our

1248
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 3: brother's obituary, thinking I still talked to this woman like

1249
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 3: my sister did occasional. He was fully aware I hated

1250
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 3: her with the burning passion, but not exactly why. I'm

1251
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 3: not close with any of my brothers for various reasons.

1252
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 3: But that's besides the point. Stepmother was tormenting me over

1253
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,480
Speaker 3: the phone while I was studying away for finals before

1254
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:01,959
Speaker 3: returning home to get medical tests done. I'm to find

1255
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 3: out I have epilepsy, autism and a vain malformation in

1256
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 3: my brain that nobody cared to check after my seizure

1257
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 3: because the neurologist I saw in my home state at

1258
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 3: the time was an idiot and claimed I had the

1259
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 3: seizure due to low blood sugar ugh, which come to

1260
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 3: find out, is a massive side effect of the epilepsy

1261
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 3: in the malformation. I'm sorry they didn't do any other

1262
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 3: checks when you had a seizure. They were just like, oh,

1263
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 3: I don't know, she didn't eat enough.

1264
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 1: What typical girls.

1265
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's so frustrating. I do have a

1266
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 3: blood sugar issue, but when I sees it gets dangerously

1267
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 3: low due to a plethora of other issues hormone and

1268
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 3: chemical wise in my messed up body. I now have

1269
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 3: to go to the capital of my home state after

1270
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 3: dropping out of college because of insurance issues and to

1271
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,919
Speaker 3: have a consultation with a neurosurgeon to see if they're

1272
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 3: going to put me through radiation or just cut the

1273
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 3: malformation out of my brain. I went to Facebook in

1274
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 3: order to warn anyone on either side of my family

1275
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 3: since my epilepsy was genetic and I'm the first to

1276
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 3: have it on either side, as well as update my

1277
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 3: cousins who I still have contact with in that part

1278
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 3: of the state if they wanted to be Stepmother effing commented,

1279
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,160
Speaker 3: saying I should go see her instead. Lock this woman,

1280
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 3: block her. Why is she still Why are you still

1281
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 3: texting her? I nearly screamed. I was so mad that

1282
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 3: she was still acting all lovey dovey to me, But

1283
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 3: thankfully my boyfriend was able to calm me down enough

1284
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,880
Speaker 3: not to do something stupid and commented himself that if

1285
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 3: any of my family wanted to stay in contact with me,

1286
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 3: they will keep Stepmother away from any information on my

1287
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 3: location and life. So far, only my uncle, my dad's

1288
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:30,480
Speaker 3: last living sibling, and his sons are the only ones

1289
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 3: who still keep regular contact with me or my sister

1290
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 3: from my dad's side. I have little contact with my

1291
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 3: mom's family my entire life, other than one of my

1292
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:40,920
Speaker 3: two brothers on her side. I have my fingers crossed

1293
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 3: that the situation gets better before I lose my whole mind.

1294
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 3: But I have a feeling she won't come anywhere near

1295
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 3: me or our hometown because of how many bridges she's

1296
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 3: burnt here by hurting me and my sister mall down,

1297
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 3: lots of motorcycle bikers who happen to be family to us.

1298
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:57,920
Speaker 3: By the way, you guys are family to us, and

1299
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,520
Speaker 3: you should listen to full episodes with stories us like this.

1300
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 3: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast

1301
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 3: stapp and search at Pokey story Time. She's been ruining

1302
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 3: my life on and off since I was a kid,

1303
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 3: and I hope with this I can now have some

1304
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 3: piece away from her while I deal with everything. I

1305
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 3: am eternally grateful to my boyfriend for keeping me sane

1306
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:16,000
Speaker 3: during all of this stuff, as well as my younger

1307
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 3: sister and stepdad who have been helping me with appointments

1308
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 3: and paying for my medication while I work on getting

1309
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 3: my disability process. And that is the end of that story.