WEBVTT - Change Junkies 0:00:01.440 --> 0:00:04.840 I Suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:10.520 I Heart Radio podcast. Hello everyone, thank you so much 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:13.520 for joining us on yet another episode of help I 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.480 Suck At Dating. My name is Dean Anglert. Sitting right 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:18.360 next to me is the man, the myth, the legend, 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:22.400 the legend. I don't know about that. I'm definitely a myth. 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:25.639 Jared hey Bond and sitting in her apartment in the 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:30.520 beautiful city of Montreal, Quebec, Vanessa Grimaldi, Hello, how are 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:35.080 you hi? Guys? I love your top today. Thanks. I know, 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:37.040 I just sent you four pictures to help me choose 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:39.360 one to post on Instagram. This is the first time 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.080 I think I've ever seen you on face time where 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:45.720 you've actually looked like you were ready to go out somewhere. 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:48.440 You know what I mean, because I just I'm just 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:52.400 trying to say that. Vanessa always just you're always like sweats, 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.840 like you just got out of bed. Wait to start 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:57.640 off the podcast. Closet doors always open. I can like 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.279 see your socks sticking out of your drawers part from 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:01.720 my bedroom. So I'm like, well, I'm just going to 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:04.520 roll out of bed and put on some lipstick and 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:07.320 call it a day. You look great. Thank you. I 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:11.080 actually put on so it's been like really really crappy 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:13.600 weather in Montreal. So I found this product that makes 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:16.200 it's kind of like a self tanner oil on the face. Somebody, 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.160 That's what I was going to say. You look tan, 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:22.600 you radiant, you're glowing, your hair is straight. Did you 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:26.560 darken your hair, No, it's probably greasy. Did you white 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:29.080 in your teeth? I I don't know what You're just 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:32.800 you're glowing right now, right now. I used to give 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:36.080 compliments like that too, but now now I'm engaged, I'm 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.880 not allowed. It's it's I can't be like Venessa, Wow, 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.000 you look really good, your radiant, your hair looks good. 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:44.720 People listening. You're always really good at teer leading me though, 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:46.600 Do you think that once you get engaged or in 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:48.560 a relationship with someone, you're not allowed to compliment the 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:51.800 opposite sex quite as much? Yes? I think the level 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:55.560 of compliments or how you're interacting definitely changes. Of course, 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.800 So the message, the message I just sent you before 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:00.880 recording this podcast, if I had a girlfriend, do you 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:04.560 think that would be inappropriate? We don't need to tell 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:09.119 the audience. Um, we we have a very special episode 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.200 for the listeners out there. Um, we have Monica Berg 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:19.720 coming on. Yeah, we have Monica Burg coming on, UM, 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:22.519 and she is going to tell us all about how 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:24.600 she became a change junkie and how that can help 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:29.560 you and your potential significant other in relationships. UM. We're 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:31.440 gonna keep you guys up to date on topical events 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:35.480 in our lives as well. We're gonna hopefully discuss and 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:38.399 dissect the conversation from last week a little bit more. UM. 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.240 In regards to Jared and Ashley Kendall and Joe moving together, 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:43.000 I think we can talk about that. I've never personally 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:44.480 lived with a girlfriend, so we can we can dive 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:49.000 into that a little bit, UM. And what else? What 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:50.959 else do we want to talk about? Your sex life? 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:54.280 I don't know my sex life is I I feel 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:57.720 like Dean always asked the sex questions. So here you go, Dean. 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:01.639 I was actually just thinking to day a shower today. 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:04.040 I mean I shower most days. How many times a 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:06.760 week do you shower? Like five? It's pretty I actually do. 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:09.280 For the record, for the record out there, I started 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:10.960 using soap again. I think I've talked about this before. 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:13.360 My hair has been spilling delicious and fruity and fresh 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.799 what I've been using. I told you I stopped using Deodora, 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.359 and then I started using natural deodoran. My armpits were 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:21.280 so itchy. I think it was a charcoal. Yeah, so 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:23.200 I had to stop using all natural Deodora and now 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:26.840 I'm back on the interesting. That's exactly what people want 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:30.080 to hear about. But no, I was thinking today, and 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.480 this is obviously gonna be way too much information, but 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:35.880 I was thinking about my sex life or lack thereof, 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:38.120 and I was like, wow, I haven't man escaped in 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:41.280 a long time. Really, Yeah, I think I was like 0:03:41.320 --> 0:03:42.840 preparing to jump in the shower and I was looking 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:44.880 down and I was like, wow, that is getting messy down. 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:49.080 This is way too well for my Like personally, I 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.120 don't like it when it's super shaved and click too clean. 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:53.720 I mean, I never do like a straight razor to 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:55.320 get it all way down, like an electric razor to 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:57.839 get it nice and trimmed and I'll put together. Yeah, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.440 never a straight razor down there. But I was like 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.200 I was looking on there today. I was just admiring it, 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.120 you know. Yeah, you never use an electric razor in 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.760 your face and that area as well. Absolutely, Man out there, 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.920 just make sure you have two electric Do you use 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:12.760 use two razors? I use like a wall electric razor? Yeah, okay, 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.640 and it has like and I'm gonna say it and 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:16.960 I'm going to get a lot of heat for this. 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:18.800 But I use the same razor for my face. Oh 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:22.480 good god, man, I did too, You do, I do. 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:26.840 I just started doing that the face and one or 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.520 the same type of razor, the exact same one. Why 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:31.640 any reason you started doing it? Or just out of convenience? 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.520 I was shaving my face. I've never done that down 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:39.680 there before ever. Thirty one Okay, you're third year selling me. 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.240 In thirty one years of life. Thirty one years of life, 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:45.080 you never took an electric razor down that. You are 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.240 Jason Biggs from American Pie. You're messing with us right now. 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.800 I'm not messing you must, I swear to God. I mean, 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:54.960 why why trim a garden that nobody's visiting? Was my 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:59.200 attitude before I'm married now, But in the past, before 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.400 I was married, it wasn't it wasn't an issue, but 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.000 that or shaving my face, and I thought, quite sad. 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.560 I'm sorry, Wait what you know what? Why not. Let's 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:08.640 live a little. I will say the one nice the 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:10.840 one nice thing from a man's perspective. Again, we're gonna 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:13.039 get into too much information here. The nice thing about 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:16.120 trimming it and keeping it put together down there is 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:19.800 it add some size, at least to the eyes. It 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:21.600 makes it look bigger, at least to my eyes when 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.600 I'm looking down. Yeah, there's a there's a significant difference. 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:26.240 You maybe walk around at their shoulders back a little 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.880 bit more of your chest puffed out, feeling more confident. Honest, 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.400 it's the truth. I'm gonna go on. Uh, I'm going 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:32.880 hiking actually next week. And I was like, well, you 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:34.640 better trim before I go hiking because it's gonna make 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:36.440 me feel lighter and looser and all that kind of stuff. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.560 So so I'm not sure how to segue into our 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:41.279 next topic, but here we go. We have Monica Berg 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.240 who's on the line. But before we get to her, Vanessa, 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:47.880 how about women's shoes. Oh yeah, So I was just 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:49.880 at I don't know if you saw on Instagram at 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:51.880 the CIRCUSLI show when I showed up in heels, but 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:53.120 I knew by dand of the night I was going 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:56.479 to be really uncomfortable. So I brought my rath these 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:58.400 shoes with me and I don't if you heard about 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.640 it this company, but they make sty list shoes for 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:05.320 women and girls out of recycled plastic water bottles. That's right. 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:08.360 They're really really comfortable, and their machine washable and they're 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:11.159 easy to put in your purse. Rathi's has quickly grown 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:14.039 to a most love gotta have them brand. It's no 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:18.120 surprise they have over one thousand nearly perfect reviews. They're 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:23.080 super stylish, they're sustainable, comfortable, washable, all in one pair 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.880 of shoes. They're the perfect flats for life on the go. 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.680 And if you're on the go, like myself, I always 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:30.760 put a pair of Rothy shoes either in my car 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:33.720 or in my purse. Rath these are the everyday flats 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:35.920 for life on the go with their stylish and versatile 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:39.080 and they go. They literally go with everything that you wear, 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:41.599 from yoga pants to dresses and skirts. I was wearing 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:46.479 this really cute um romper with uh like like leaves 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:48.480 on it or whatever, Like, I had a really cute print, 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.920 so it went. It literally went with everything that I wore. 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:54.320 Roth These comes in a wide range of colors and patterns, 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:58.200 and they're available in four different silhouettes. Plus they're constantly 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.599 launching new styles, so you're garan tea to find a 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.000 pair or three that you'll love. It will blow your 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:06.520 mind that they're made from recycled water bottles. It's crazy 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:08.640 plastic water bottles, that's what the shoes are made of. 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:12.080 In fact, Rath These has diverted over twenty five million 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.880 water bottles from landfills. So when you buy your shoes, 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:16.440 you know that you're gonna look stylish and you're doing 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.720 a good thing for the world. So it's it's it's 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.520 a perfect match. They're fully machine washable. Rath These are 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:25.840 manufactured in a zero waste factory and they shipped directly 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.640 in the shoebox, no unnecessary packaging. These are feel good 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:33.160 flats in more than just one. Mother's Day is around 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:35.640 the corner, so you know, if you need, if you 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:38.360 need an idea to buy your mom, you can always 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:40.640 buy her a pair of Rath The's a pair or 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:43.920 two just by I just actually bought my mom a pair. Um, 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.280 she saw my pair of shoes when I was at 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:48.560 the Circustillation show and they're like She's like I gotta have. 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:50.600 She tried mine on and she's like, they're super comfortable, 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:52.600 so I got her pair. Check out all the amazing 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.720 styles available right now. I row these dot com slash Dean. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.600 Go to rath these dot com slash Dean to get 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:02.600 your favorite flats. They're comfortable, their stylish and sustainable. These 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:04.640 are the shoes you've been waiting for. Head to roth 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:07.440 these dot com slash d e a n today. Dean. 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:13.400 Dean gets the code for women's shoes everything. I don't 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.480 know what else I have the code for newm And 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:18.320 why I have the code is because I know you 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.320 guys don't need to stick to a weight loss plan 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:22.680 because you're already in impeccable shape. But I do, and 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:26.400 it can be very very hard, especially when you don't 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:28.360 know how to handle the obstacles and thoughts that hold 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:30.280 you back from making progress like me. So let me 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.000 tell you about NEM and how they can help you 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:34.400 live a healthier lifestyle like they've already helped me. We're 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.959 all Stopford time, but now them just asks for ten 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:39.199 minutes a day just for yourself. With new Them, you'll 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:41.840 have personalized training and your own support team for less 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.000 than the price of a single appointment with a nutritionist 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.400 or personal trainer. It takes the agne out of food 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:49.240 tracking with one of the biggest food databases available, and 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:51.680 it doesn't say you can't have certain foods like the 0:08:51.679 --> 0:08:54.600 good stuff obviously, which we all love. It just teaches 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.000 you about moderation, which is one of the most important things. 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:59.959 They have easy thirty second online evaluation which shows you 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.199 how much weight you can lose and keep off if 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:04.160 you keep up with it um. I was at Coachell 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.040 a couple of weeks ago and I have been using 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:08.160 NEM since then to help me lose a little bit 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:09.720 of weight. I think I've discussed this in the past. 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.720 I've been bulking up a little bit. Uh not because 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.000 I want to, but NOUM has been helping me their 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:17.120 designed for results. It's out with the old habits in 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:19.200 with the new. And you can sign up for your 0:09:19.240 --> 0:09:23.120 free trial today at noon dot com slash Dean. That's 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:27.160 n O O M dot com slash d e a n. 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:30.480 You literally have nothing to lose except for all your weight. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.440 Visit noon dot com slash dean to start your free 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:37.280 trial today again one last time. Noon dot com slash 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:40.320 Dean start losing weight for good. When I put on 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:42.679 like ten pounds after Ashley and I got engaged, and 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:45.040 like we're just eating pizza every day. I really wish 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:49.319 I described my weight gain just like you did. I've 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.839 been bulking up over the past couple of months, not intentionally, 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:56.640 just literally. I got up to a hundred and ninety 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.160 nine pounds. I've never hit two hundred in my life. 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.760 I've all, you still look good, but I appreciate it. 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:04.760 I'm putting a lot of it on my neck area. 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.000 I see myself in pictures and I'm like, you've never 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.240 hit two h pounds. You're six. I've always been around. 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:13.120 It's just like, I don't know it's bad. So I'm 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:16.000 not drinking alcohol anymore. I'm I'm sticking with New Mo. 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:18.080 Was the last time you had a alcoholic? I mean 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:20.440 a couple of days ago. But like, I'm not drinking 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:23.320 alcohol anymore. I'm not getting drunk anymore. I should say 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:25.560 I haven't been drunk in like three since Coachella. Actually, 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:31.280 so like three weeks. Hold Monica, Well, we have Monica 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.120 Berg on the line as she has a brand new 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.640 book out. It is called Fear Is Not an Option 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:39.920 and is available everywhere book are sold. Monica, are you 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:43.880 on the line, Hi there? How are you? I'm doing well, Monica? 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:50.800 Were you just hearing our latest conversation? Thank god? Just 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:55.199 about men's grooming and we don't need to. I think 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.480 we actually should have a dedicated episodes that one day 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:01.200 all about men's grooming, just grooming in rooming in general. Yeah, 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:03.320 like shaving my legs and shaving my arm past, Like, 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:05.880 is it a necessity, No, but it's a it's an 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.240 expectation that women have to do. Actually, just got that 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:10.280 laser done so she doesn't have to shave for like 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:15.200 three months. Apparently I never really realized forever. All right, well, 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.120 let's get back to it anyway, Monica. I'm so sorry 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:18.520 to keep you holding. We can talk about this all 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:22.200 day apparently. But Monica, you you describe yourself as a 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:26.199 change junkie. Um, and you just wrote a brand new 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:29.560 book called Fear Is Not an Option? So tell us 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:31.800 where did that title come from? Why did you write 0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:36.920 this book? And what is fear to you? Well? I 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:40.600 decided to write this book because I counsel a lot 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:44.440 of different people and two things come up. For all. 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:49.720 It's fear and relationships. So I actually started to write 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:52.960 my first book, which is called Rethink Love, and it's 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:55.320 the term of a book, it's sixty six thousand, seven 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:58.800 hundred words, because you know, people need a lot of 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.880 guidance when it comes relationship that can bring us the 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.960 most joy and then also at some point, you know, 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:08.160 see the biggest source of agne and pain. But that 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:10.560 book took a really long time, and so I got 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.840 impatient and I wrote Fear, and I finished that nine 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:17.679 months and I published that one first um. The title 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.600 I came up with because it happened to me one 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:24.439 night when I was grapp grappling with spear over just 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:29.200 same sixteen years ago, and my mentor and father in 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.160 law was yelling at me on the other end of 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.240 the phone when he heard me panicking that fear is 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:36.000 not an option. And when fear is no longer an option, 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:37.760 then you have to look for other options that are 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:40.480 more viable. So when you remove the thing that scares 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.320 you the most and you don't give it any energy, 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.800 then you need to find a solution, and you tell 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:46.760 your brains that we need to look for one. And 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:52.960 it's an obedient servant um. Well that's all in the book, 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:58.000 you want to challenge yourself to think differently, um, and 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:01.520 that's consciousness. Consciousness is everything. So how you perceive life, 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.600 what your perspective is, dictates how your experiences will be. 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.000 So if you get a handle on that and you 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:09.199 really look, and you're honest with yourself, and you give 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:12.680 yourself emotional feza, then you can change the course of 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:16.080 your life and everywhere, whether it's fear or you know, 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:19.720 and and alphabet ties and relationships. Also because people fear rejection. 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:22.760 If your failure, it just gets in our way and 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:25.040 it paralyzes us from living the life we all really 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.680 want to. Yeah. One of my favorite quotes of all 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:31.599 time is actually from Jim Carey. Don't judge me, but 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:33.800 I actually really enjoy his perspective in life. He has 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.240 a very different way of thinking, but he talks about 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:37.760 fear and how it's a big player in all of 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.920 our lives, and he says that what he actively tries 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:43.040 to do is he tries to make decisions based out 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:45.599 of love and not fear. And actually he told a 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:48.360 story one time about his father which always has kind 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.400 of stuck with me. He talks about his father could 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:53.680 have been a great comedian, but he was scared because 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.760 he thought that his dreams were out of hand and unreachable, 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:58.920 and so he took a safe job. And when Jim 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:00.920 Carrey is twelve years old, his father got fired from 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:03.199 that safe job. And that was a very big lesson 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:05.360 in Jim Carrey's life because he realized that you can 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.520 fail at the things that you don't want to do, 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:09.360 so you might as well go after the things you love. 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:12.800 And it's a very impactful quote I've always thought about 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:14.960 in my life because a lot of my life I 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:17.200 make decisions based out of fear, and I think it's 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.160 held me back in a lot of different areas, uh, 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:27.000 both career path, relationship wise, uh, my own personal confidence. 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:33.200 And so it's scary, scary, and that's everybody. I mean, 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:35.680 that is the majority of how the world be right. 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.880 And then you know it's you rather the pain of discipline, 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.360 which is going after what you want and all those things. 0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:44.920 Doing that it's scary and um sometimes now disappointment or wild, 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:47.040 you rather the pain of regret because when you meet that, 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.480 your options are not there any longer, but much more painful. 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.680 It is more painful. But there's something about regret that 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.840 you can almost cope with because if you never go 0:14:57.920 --> 0:14:59.920 after the things that you want, you can always have 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.120 that cavea of Well, I never really tried, Like if 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.000 I tried, I think I could have done it. And 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.000 that's not a good way of living. I'm not saying 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:08.760 it is, and I think a lot of people think 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:12.920 that way because there's a psychological reason why we do that. 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:16.040 When you come with your excuses early on, then you 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.320 have this armor to protect your ego so that when 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.960 you fail, you're like, oh, you know, it's self sabotages 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:23.200 its greatest. Like let's say you have a big exam 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:25.280 or s A T S. I know a lot of 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.320 people do this and they go out the night before 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:28.800 and they get drunk and they have a hangover. So 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:30.800 the next morning I didn't do well because I was 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:33.840 out late the night before. We just it's a defense 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:36.520 mechanism to protect our ego. But again, if you break 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:38.200 it down and you look at it and you challenge 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.960 your consciousness, then you can really live your authentic lights. 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.800 I mean, everybody, everybody can have what they want. They 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:46.120 just need to get out of their way. And I 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:47.880 know it's the hard thing, but it's like the muscle. 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.160 If you practice it and you start with baby steps, 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.440 eventually you can achieve it. Monica, do you know who 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:57.440 Jordan Peterson is. He's a he's a clinical psychologist. But 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:59.280 I've been listening to a lot of his lectures lately 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:01.560 and a lot of this out that you're saying aligns 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.280 with the stuff that he preaches as well. And it's 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.120 crazy because it's a lot of stuff that you until 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:08.720 you like sit down and really think about it, you 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.960 don't realize everything that's kind of going on, you know 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:12.960 what I mean. And so I think it's great that 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.200 what you're doing is you're helping people identify that and 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:18.440 then once obviously the first step is always identifying, and 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:19.680 then you can kind of work on it from there, 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:24.560 well identifying and then followed by immediate action. So and 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:26.840 that's the key, right. It can't be something that you 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.240 just think about because then you replaced talk for action. 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.680 Often we talk about our dreams, we talk about what 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.560 we desire, and we feel like we're actually making strikes 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:37.040 because we've spent much time and energy discussing it. We 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.520 feel like a little bit the sense of reward, you know, 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.000 in our mind book, I'm doing I'm working towards that 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.760 you're not actually just talking about it. M Monica asked, 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.120 you have a really powerful story. I think you're really 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:53.640 open about it. Um. You had developed an eating disorder, UM, 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:57.880 and you came out stronger than ever. And recently this weekend, 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:00.360 I was at an event and a woman spoke about 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.560 blimia and how she was battling that for a couple 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:07.040 of years and now she's a solid, strong, independent woman. 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:10.840 She's a really bright light. And my question, like one 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.480 thing that stuck was how did you How did someone 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:14.840 get out of that? I think a lot of our 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:18.399 listeners because could resonate with stories of people being stuck 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:20.280 in a dark hole like I. You know, like this 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:22.640 past week I was literally crying every day and I'm 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:25.200 like I couldn't find a way to get out of that. 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.439 So what did you do? Or for people listening, what 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.440 can they do to get out of that dark hole? 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:33.680 But I love that question. For me, it was interacted, 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:35.840 but people can find themselves in any kind of situation 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:39.399 where you feel hopeless and sad. I mean, it was 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:42.080 really the most isolating that time of my life, and 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:45.200 I had a lot of shame about having the disorder 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:48.760 and also feeling shame about my life just at the time. 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:53.359 U got me into the disorder and the thing that 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:55.240 I craved the most at that time because I was 0:17:55.280 --> 0:18:00.040 so lonely and um, you know, and that thought it 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:02.280 consumed you all day long. And it's not really about suit, 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:04.520 is about control. I wanted to send some control over 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.359 my life because I felt out of control. So I 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.440 just wanted a relationship. I wanted to be loved because 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:13.240 I really didn't love myself enough, right, I mean, a 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:17.080 person doesn't starve themselves nearly to death if they practice 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:19.520 self love. So I realized that everything that I was 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.160 looking for and that I was craving and the lack 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.640 that I felt could never come from an external place. 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:27.879 It couldn't come from a person, a job, a different 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:30.200 country I would live in, or anything else. That had 0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:34.359 to start within. And I really started to practice that. 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:38.880 So I started to become more spiritual, become more aware 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:43.439 of nature, of purpose, of meaning and um, starting to 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.719 live my life in that way and connecting to something higher. 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:48.800 And also I took the most important relationship any of 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:51.560 us will ever have in life, curiously, and that was 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:53.879 the relationship I have with myself, because you live with 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:56.600 your body in your skin, if you don't like how 0:18:56.640 --> 0:18:58.359 you feel or what you do when you look in 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:00.320 the mirror, because body, and this is a not just 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:03.119 physical right, it's every single thing we feel walking in 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:05.240 our skin. And if you don't like who you are 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:07.639 at your core, it's like being in a webt bathing 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:10.640 suit with stand inside stuff too all day long. It's 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.919 like that uncomfortable. So I started to really stop and 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.600