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Speaker 1: Hey, folks, this is Lyle. In twenty twenty three, I'm

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Speaker 1: going on tour to do my Therapy Gecko podcast live

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Speaker 1: in several cities across the US, UK, Europe, Australia and Canada.

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Speaker 1: Click the link in the episode description to sign up

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Speaker 1: for my email list and get notified when tickets go

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Speaker 1: on sale. Okay, let's get into the episode. Anthony Fantana Lyle.

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Speaker 1: How's life?

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Speaker 2: It's going pretty good? Good?

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Speaker 1: What's going good about it today?

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Speaker 2: I'm excited to be here. I'm excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: I'm excited to be in a different place. Excited to

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Speaker 2: take some time this weekend to hang out with some

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Speaker 2: content creators that I enjoy. I don't often get the

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Speaker 2: chance to do that. I sort of live in the

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Speaker 2: sticks mostly and just kind of keep to myself and

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Speaker 2: my albums.

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Speaker 1: Have you always been like that, like kind of kept

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Speaker 1: to yourself.

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Speaker 2: I've had I've had a very small circle of friends. Okay,

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Speaker 2: you know over the years.

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Speaker 1: Has that been like an intentional thing.

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Speaker 2: I'd say it was more just by just just the

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Speaker 2: way things panned out. I think just kind of having

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Speaker 2: a little social anxiety and just very niche interests in

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Speaker 2: a place where like you know that that isn't necessarily

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Speaker 2: like a hotbed of music culture sort of like you know,

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Speaker 2: inevitably puts you in that place where you're probably not

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Speaker 2: going to be commiserating with a whole lot of people. Often.

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Speaker 1: Is music, like I mean, is this music the main

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Speaker 1: thing that kind of connects you to other people?

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Speaker 2: It's definitely one of the main things it can be.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think a lot of that has changed

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Speaker 2: over the years. My friends circle these days is a

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Speaker 2: lot bigger and wider and better and healthier than it's

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Speaker 2: been in the past.

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Speaker 1: When you were a kid, like in middle school, in

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Speaker 1: high school, you have a lot of friends.

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Speaker 2: Again, I would say, like a handful of close friends. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean I knew a lot of people and was

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Speaker 2: friendly with a lot of people. But in terms of

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Speaker 2: like people, I consider myself close with those probably few

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Speaker 2: and far between.

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Speaker 1: And like now that you're like you said, like kind

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Speaker 1: of living like doing your own thing, how often do

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Speaker 1: you or if ever, do you get it a little

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Speaker 1: hit of like I should go out into the universe.

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Speaker 2: Much more often? Okay, I would say maybe at least

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Speaker 2: like every other week, or at least once a week.

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Speaker 1: What do you think is the main catalyst of that

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Speaker 1: that paying to want to make you leave the house

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Speaker 1: and go do things.

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Speaker 2: I think there was a couple of things. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it was definitely like maybe hitting an emotional rock bottom

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Speaker 2: due to the due to isolation that was happening in

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Speaker 2: the pandemic. But then also I would say it had

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Speaker 2: to do with, you know, another realization as a result

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Speaker 2: of that coming by way of just kind of realizing

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Speaker 2: how how few people I was kind of connected with

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Speaker 2: in a personal way and how much that was kind

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Speaker 2: of to my own detriment and wasn't really helping me

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Speaker 2: out of I was in a bit of a depression

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Speaker 2: for a period of time, and just sort of like

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Speaker 2: lack of access to a wide variety of people to

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Speaker 2: kind of give me perspective on what was happening and

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Speaker 2: what I was going through did did did me a

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Speaker 2: lot of disservice?

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I sometimes it's hard because, like I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you get this one. Were like, you hang

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Speaker 1: out with a lot of people and that can make

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Speaker 1: you have like a weird depression and then you isolate

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Speaker 1: and you have weird depression and you have you get

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Speaker 1: to like balance too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I think, like, you know, you want to

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Speaker 2: have a you want to have a wide, healthy amount

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Speaker 2: of deep, satisfying relationships. Yeah, you don't want an over

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Speaker 2: abundance of surface level relationships because that that can be

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Speaker 2: isolating too, you know, and I try not to, you know,

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Speaker 2: basically like overload myself with too many of those, you know,

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Speaker 2: if something's not really kind of going that deep or

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Speaker 2: isn't really kind of mutually satisfying or whatever, you know,

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Speaker 2: I tend to just sort of focus more on the

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Speaker 2: things that are working instead.

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Speaker 1: What kinds of people do you like find yourself drawn

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Speaker 1: to personally?

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Speaker 2: I really don't know the type. It's just really kind

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Speaker 2: of like, you know, I guess, I guess. I guess

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Speaker 2: I trend toward openness. If you could be open with

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Speaker 2: me in the way that I can be open with you,

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Speaker 2: then I think there's, like, you know, cause for or

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Speaker 2: continuing to communicate. If you're closed off, you're not sharing,

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Speaker 2: and maybe you're even closed minded. I feel like there's

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Speaker 2: only so far that can that can go.

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Speaker 1: Do you not like talking about yourself?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: I do, but with select people, Okay, I actually love

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Speaker 2: talking about myself and things that I'm experiencing. And going

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Speaker 2: through but again in select context and with select people. Sure,

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Speaker 2: they're searchings that I have that we'll send each other

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Speaker 2: twenty thirty minute voice notes. Really yeah, what of just

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Speaker 2: stuff we're going through. Yeah, yeah, it actually kind of

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Speaker 2: like in a way, I mean, I do go to therapy,

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Speaker 2: actual therapy, yeah yeah, not just this kind of therapy. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but I mean, you know, those types of conversations and

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Speaker 2: connections with people who actually kind of matter in your

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Speaker 2: life are very therapeutic in their own way too.

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Speaker 1: They are, they are. It's it's hard, I guess when

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Speaker 1: you like are interacting with so many people on the internet,

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Speaker 1: and like especially if you're like a plugged in guy,

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Speaker 1: like really comprehending that people like it's a weird type

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Speaker 1: of relationship that people like don't know you, You don't really

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Speaker 1: know them, but there's like.

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Speaker 2: They feel like they know you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. Sometimes I'll like, you know, find

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Speaker 1: myself talking about myself on my stream and like almost

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Speaker 1: using it like therapeutically in that way. It's like a

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Speaker 1: mutual benefit type of thing.

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Speaker 2: I think that's good, and I think given the community

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Speaker 2: and the brand that you've built, it makes sense, you know,

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Speaker 2: I think I think it's a good thing. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you've literally built your brand about sharing your feelings and

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Speaker 2: being open with them. Yeah, and not that I've necessarily

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Speaker 2: built my brand in antithesis to that, you know, it

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Speaker 2: just so happens that in my line of work there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of animosity towards me, yes, for having different

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Speaker 2: apearons from other people. And I found that over the

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Speaker 2: ten plus years that I've done this, the more people

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Speaker 2: sort of know about me personally, even does come from

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Speaker 2: a vulnerable place and maybe is well received at the

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Speaker 2: point at which I share it, there's always going to

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Speaker 2: be individuals who will come back around and use that

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Speaker 2: against me whenever, like you know, I'm giving an opinion

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Speaker 2: or saying something that they disagree with. Oh, well, this

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Speaker 2: is just because this happened to you, or this is

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Speaker 2: just because you know you think this, or this is

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Speaker 2: just because you think that. And it's like, no, I mean,

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Speaker 2: maybe you assume that because you only know three things

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Speaker 2: about me. Is the side of that that I review music?

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Speaker 1: How genuine like the animosity that you receive, how genuinely

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Speaker 1: hostile is it? Because when you're talking about like music opinions,

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Speaker 1: I would assume it's like, how like different people like

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Speaker 1: their football teams get into arguments, but they don't like

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Speaker 1: actually fucking hate each other. You know, to what degree

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Speaker 1: do you experience the end I'm alsosly being sincerely hostile.

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Speaker 2: It ranges, like, I mean, I don't want to get

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Speaker 2: into too much detail, because I feel like sometimes when

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Speaker 2: you talk about these things and sort of like bring

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Speaker 2: them up, it tends to incentivize more psychopaths to kind

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Speaker 2: of engage in the same behavior. But it ranges from

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Speaker 2: a tweet where it's like, hey, you suck, I fucking

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Speaker 2: hate you too, things that if I knew where the

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Speaker 2: person lived who did what they did, they could be

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Speaker 2: criminally charged. Oh okay for attempting what they attempted to do.

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Speaker 1: That's that's pretty hostile.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So again it ranges, and you know, it's like

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Speaker 2: I never know which one I'm going to get. Thankfully,

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Speaker 2: the things that you know have been to the extreme

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Speaker 2: are very very few and far between, to the point

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Speaker 2: where I'm not necessarily like fearing for my life or anything.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any part of you that enjoys playing

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Speaker 1: like a heel role of any kind, even if it's

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Speaker 1: a slight thing.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm just unapologetic about it. I wouldn't say

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Speaker 2: I get off on it. At the at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, I get the most satisfaction out of

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Speaker 2: if I love something and maybe it's not something a

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Speaker 2: lot of people have heard about, Yeah, and I get

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Speaker 2: the opportunity to turn other people onto it, and then

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Speaker 2: maybe it creates kind of a fanfare, sensation or passion

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Speaker 2: for that artist, and then maybe they're able to go

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Speaker 2: on and continue making their art in a way that

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Speaker 2: they wouldn't have been able to otherwise because they wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have had that fan base.

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Speaker 1: So you like to like yeah more than I love

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Speaker 1: to love to like yeah. Okay, but you also but

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Speaker 1: you also want to be honest.

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Speaker 2: I also want to be honest, and I also kind

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Speaker 2: of want to at least to a degree, because I

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Speaker 2: see what I do is sort of like, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's it's in service of the audience at the NBA,

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Speaker 2: and you know there's going to be albums that they

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Speaker 2: want me to review that I'm just not that into.

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Speaker 2: You know, it used to be that when I started

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Speaker 2: my YouTube channel and kind of started the Needle Drop

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Speaker 2: in general, I only reviewed and talked about things that

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Speaker 2: I enjoyed and you know, and that worked for a while,

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Speaker 2: but then eventually came a time where either people are like, well,

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Speaker 2: what do you think about this? And it's kind of

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Speaker 2: a really big release you can't necessarily ignore it, or

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Speaker 2: maybe a really bad record comes from an artist that

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Speaker 2: you liked in the past, you know, just not gonna

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Speaker 2: like everything all the time, yeah, you know, and and

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Speaker 2: sort of going completely silent on extremely relevant record a

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Speaker 2: or artist who has maybe been one of your main

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Speaker 2: stays b you know, doesn't really look all that good

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Speaker 2: in terms of like, you know, your audience trusting you,

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Speaker 2: or having faith in kind of give you give your

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Speaker 2: give your you know view.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, what's been the most persistent thought on your mind lately?

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Speaker 2: Just just maintaining my own mental stability and prioritizing my

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Speaker 2: own happiness.

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Speaker 1: What do you What do you do to maintain mental stability?

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Speaker 2: Eat right, exercise, Yeah, spend time with people who care

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Speaker 2: about me. I think my my resolution for this year

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Speaker 2: is has has been. If you're adding to my life,

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Speaker 2: I'm adding you to my life. If you're subtracting from it,

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Speaker 2: you're getting subtracted from my life.

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Speaker 1: I want to know, like would you consider yourself like

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Speaker 1: like a workaholic or like you like really definitely, Like

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Speaker 1: there's a weird thing I think when you're in that

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Speaker 1: position where like you think that peace is attained from

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Speaker 1: doing the best you can all the time at the work,

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Speaker 1: and then like it's actually when you I wouldn't. I

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Speaker 1: haven't done this yet, but when you slow down and

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Speaker 1: start to take care of yourself. That's what people tell me,

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Speaker 1: is when you start to actually feel that happiness that

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Speaker 1: you think you're gonna achieve by being a workaholic. Have

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Speaker 1: you experienced that.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty good about my physical health as much as possible.

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Speaker 2: It's really sort of like that that lack of social

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Speaker 2: ability that sometimes I'm not as conscious of as I

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Speaker 2: should be, which again I've been a lot better about.

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Speaker 2: But I mean as far as the workaholic stuff. My

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Speaker 2: mom is the same way. Like she's just recently retired

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Speaker 2: and her retirement plan at least as of late, has

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Speaker 2: been to she's an account by trade, is to start

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Speaker 2: her own accounting business, which she's always done it on

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Speaker 2: the side, but now she's like, well, now I'm just

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Speaker 2: gonna do it, like, you know, more than just part

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Speaker 2: time or at least like, you know, nearly full time

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Speaker 2: or whatever or something like. You know, she's definitely somebody

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Speaker 2: who works quite a bit at what she does.

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Speaker 1: Where do you see yourself when you're like retired and retirement, Yeah, that's.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking, Like, I don't know if I

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Speaker 2: want to be there, Like I feel like when I retire,

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Speaker 2: I do actually want to retire. However, it's like I

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Speaker 2: still want to spend time doing things that I like.

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Speaker 2: I guess the problem is that whenever I'm doing an

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Speaker 2: activity I enjoy, I tend to get so passionate about

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Speaker 2: it that the amount of effort I put into.

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Speaker 1: It becomes cars work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, whether that be like maybe if I decided to, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna make music, Right, if I decide my

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Speaker 2: retirement plan was I'm just gonna make music for fun,

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Speaker 2: I probably would end up focusing on it to the

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Speaker 2: point where it would just become work or you know, recently,

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Speaker 2: a fun thing that I've been getting into is I've

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Speaker 2: been doing indoor rock climbing stuff. And you know, I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's it's cool and it's not. I mean, part of

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Speaker 2: the reason that it's cool is like the fact that

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Speaker 2: it is such a strenuous physical activity causes me to

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Speaker 2: sort of take it in chunks and bites, but simontaneously,

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Speaker 2: like I did, like slightly injure myself going to the

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Speaker 2: gym like three days back to back to back.

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Speaker 1: Or you should get everything, so for all, every time

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Speaker 1: you engage with the thing, it ultimately becomes like an obsession.

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Speaker 2: Right exactly. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I definitely have like a

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Speaker 2: you know, something is like a new interest. I have

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Speaker 2: like a kind of a fiery passion for it, and

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Speaker 2: I want to dive into it and sort of like

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Speaker 2: go like go hard, you know, And I do have to,

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Speaker 2: you know, sort of like like again with the rock

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Speaker 2: climbing stuff, like I've been doing better lately about sort

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Speaker 2: of like going only maybe a few days a week

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Speaker 2: and kind of just taking the progress slowly as it comes.

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Speaker 2: I tend to like speed run everything.

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Speaker 1: You tend to speed run everything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like like whenever I'm crazy, you're passionate about something,

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Speaker 2: I have to learn to do it or learn about

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Speaker 2: it as fast as I possibly can.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think you tend to speed run everything?

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Speaker 2: Because I have ADHD and I hyper focus on ship.

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Speaker 1: And that's been a thing for your like whole Like

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Speaker 1: can you can you remember from like childhood.

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Speaker 2: Like anything especially, Yeah, but like into adulthood it's different stuff.

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Speaker 2: But I've only been diagnosed as recently as thirty six,

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Speaker 2: so I've only been aware of it for a short

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Speaker 2: amount of time recently.

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Speaker 1: This tendency to speed run. Has it manifested itself primarily

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Speaker 1: in positive ways or negative ways?

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Speaker 2: I'd say both. I mean the positive way is that

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Speaker 2: I inadvertently built my entire life around the one thing

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Speaker 2: that I could obsess over endlessly for hours and hours

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Speaker 2: and hours little to no break.

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Speaker 1: Then what's the negative You lose track of.

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Speaker 2: Time, you know, sort of like forget to prioritize certain

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Speaker 2: things that you probably should be prioritizing.

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Speaker 1: What do you what do you think is the most

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Speaker 1: important thing in your life? Like the most important kind

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Speaker 1: of avenues? Run that question by may like the most

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Speaker 1: important avenues in your life? What is a priority to you?

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Speaker 2: At this point, I would say, like, uh, I mean

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Speaker 2: obviously my work, but you know it's it's not so

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Speaker 2: much just for the effort of enjoying it or getting

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Speaker 2: anything out of it personally, but it's more like, how

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Speaker 2: can this sort of like serve the goals of myself

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Speaker 2: and my loved ones long term, so that everybody sort

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Speaker 2: of like cool and like taking care of if anybody

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Speaker 2: needs anything, you know, Like that's kind of where the

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Speaker 2: focus is with that long term thinking. And also just

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Speaker 2: kind of making sure that I'm good and I'm healthy

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Speaker 2: and I'm taking care of so that I have the

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Speaker 2: energy and the focus and everything to be able to

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Speaker 2: continue to do it.

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Speaker 1: And are you feeling as though you're doing a good

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Speaker 1: job lately at achieving those goals? So you're qualified to

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Speaker 1: talk to callers about how they might also achieve what

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Speaker 1: is going on with them?

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Speaker 2: If that's the question.

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Speaker 1: If that's a question, No, no, No, I don't think

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Speaker 1: I think we're qualified to sit here and gecko costumes

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Speaker 1: and talk to strangers from the internet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so.

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Speaker 1: Would you like to do that?

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Speaker 2: I would love to do that.

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Speaker 4: Hello, Ryan, Hi, how's it going?

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Speaker 1: Ryan? Where are you right now?

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Speaker 5: I'm in my car right now.

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Speaker 6: I'm trying to get to a to a parking spot

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Speaker 6: so I can talk to you better.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, talk to us safely. Ryan.

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Speaker 1: Where are you on your way to?

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Speaker 6: I'm I'm just gonna drive to the nearest grocery store.

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Speaker 6: I'm just trying to get out of my apartment at

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Speaker 6: the moment so I can talk to you in some privacy.

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Speaker 2: Is something going out of the apartment.

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Speaker 6: Well, my ex girlfriend is there right now, and I'm

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Speaker 6: just trying to avoid that situation.

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Speaker 2: So why are you still living with your ex?

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Speaker 6: We've been together for six years and she's she seems

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Speaker 6: to think that we just need therapy and we'll get

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Speaker 6: better and problems happen. But I'm I'm feeling that we've

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Speaker 6: had too many issues and the issues just continue to happen.

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Speaker 6: We're just kind of growing a part. But we uh,

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Speaker 6: we discovered this about two months into resigning another year lead.

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Speaker 6: So ah, we're we're still tied.

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Speaker 7: Up in that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I don't want to you know, have you put

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Speaker 2: words in the mouth of your X, because obviously you

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Speaker 2: can't necessarily speak to things from her perspective, but you know,

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Speaker 2: from your own point of view, what are your points

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Speaker 2: of disagreement or contention that make you feel like, even

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Speaker 2: if we do go to therapy, this isn't going to work.

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Speaker 2: Like what in your mind is the unsolvable problem that

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Speaker 2: isn't going to change that you know that that it

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Speaker 2: only makes sense to walk away from at this point.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, so I guess it's more along the lines.

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Speaker 6: I don't feel I can continue to build trust with her.

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Speaker 6: For the last three or so years, she's spent pretty

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Speaker 6: sick and so she lost a lot of weight. She

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Speaker 6: wasn't working, and I was kind of having to take

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Speaker 6: care of her myself and our dog ally all by myself.

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Speaker 6: And instead of her spending that time like fully bettering.

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Speaker 8: Herself, she was getting attention from other guys and spending

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Speaker 8: her time doing that. And I just I don't feel

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Speaker 8: that I can get back to a place where I

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Speaker 8: trust that she won't do that.

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Speaker 2: In the future. Has in talking to her about this,

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Speaker 2: has she tried to change behavior, has she shown remorse?

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Speaker 2: Has she you know, do you feel like any kind

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Speaker 2: of openness from her on this topic specifically, We don't

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Speaker 2: need to go to other things that you feel like

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Speaker 2: are maybe you know, huge issues, like you know, is

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Speaker 2: there anything that she's given you in terms of like

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Speaker 2: a hint of like you know, this will change if

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Speaker 2: we do this or do that, or stick with this

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Speaker 2: in some way or do this kind of therapy.

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Speaker 9: Yes, but it's happened in the past, the same the

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Speaker 9: same kind of answers and the same changes happen. So

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Speaker 9: I just see it as like a big pattern at

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Speaker 9: this point.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so it's a pattern. Yeah, it's a pattern. It's

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Speaker 2: the straw that brokes the camel's back. You know, you're

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Speaker 2: feeling like this is something that will continue to go on.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I guess I would consider getting back into

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Speaker 2: it if you felt like there was some kind of

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Speaker 2: sign of a sea change in behavior. But if you

377
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 2: feel like you're just getting this the same kind of

378
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 2: rundown over again that you've gotten in the past, maybe

379
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Speaker 2: it is time to sort of begin to call things

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Speaker 2: off and just kind of, you know, go your own way.

381
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Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with walking away from something that you've

382
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Speaker 2: invested a lot of time in. I feel like that

383
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Speaker 2: is learning, that's growth at the end of the day.

384
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Speaker 2: That's you. How old are you when you started this relationship?

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Speaker 7: I was eighteen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're six years older now, you're deeper into your twenties.

387
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Speaker 2: You have a better sense and understanding of yourself than

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Speaker 2: you did at eighteen. And on top of that, what

389
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 2: are personally your standards or desires or wants or goals

390
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Speaker 2: out of life? And a romantic relationship are completely changed.

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Speaker 2: Most people when they start relationships when their teenagers are,

392
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Speaker 2: whether they like it or not, are are fucking around

393
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Speaker 2: and learning the rules of the road. When it comes

394
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Speaker 2: to relationships. You're at a point now where you have

395
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Speaker 2: a better sense of who you are and what you want,

396
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Speaker 2: and it's okay to reach a point where you're like,

397
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Speaker 2: I no longer want this, this is no longer working

398
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Speaker 2: for me, gotcha, okay?

399
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Speaker 9: And then to go along sorry here, no, no, go ahead?

400
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Speaker 1: Go ahead? Uh?

401
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 9: To go along with that. I've been trying to kind

402
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 9: of distance myself and open up, and I just I

403
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 9: feel completely out of place not giving her or somebody

404
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Speaker 9: like my complete focus. I feel super weird going to

405
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Speaker 9: the grocery store alone. I feel weird going to the

406
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Speaker 9: gym alone. I don't feel comfortable like being alone. And

407
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Speaker 9: so it's that's what's making the situation even tougher, because.

408
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Speaker 2: I don't you guys, you guys would like do everything together.

409
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Speaker 9: Yeah, pretty much like I didn't focus on anything besides her.

410
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Speaker 9: If we were doing a hot I feel.

411
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Speaker 1: Like it wouldn't that make this, you know? Is I

412
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Speaker 1: understand that there's there's a fear to that, but there's

413
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 1: also an excitement at this new opportunity that you have

414
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Speaker 1: to go out and build that skill, which is a

415
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 1: skill that you cannot live without.

416
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Speaker 2: Right, really an incentive honestly, like you know, we we've

417
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 2: reached the point where, I mean, even without any kind

418
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 2: of confirmation from Alislea orright, it sounds like you kind

419
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: of already have it in your mind that this is

420
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Speaker 2: not working and that you don't want to continue to

421
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Speaker 2: keep pushing this. And honestly, that's bad in its own way,

422
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 2: as you've just kind of posed here in so many words.

423
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Speaker 2: How it's bad in another way is that you're potentially

424
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Speaker 2: putting yourself at a disservice or you're doing yourself a

425
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 2: disservice by not allowing yourself to grow that independence. You

426
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 2: know that. I feel like everybody sort of needs to

427
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 2: find in their own way as they transition out of

428
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 2: their teens into their twenties, and you know, this could

429
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Speaker 2: be an opportunity to do that as well.

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Speaker 1: Right, Can I ask you if what about being alone

431
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Speaker 1: is scary to you?

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Speaker 9: I everything kind of. I I enjoy being alone, like

433
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 9: in my car because it's like a small space. But

434
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Speaker 9: if I'm like in the store. I feel like everybody

435
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 9: is watching me, and I'm just I'm gonna mess up somehow.

436
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Speaker 2: I mean, as you kind of transition, assuming you do transition,

437
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 2: you know, into a single hood, there is going to

438
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 2: be a degree to which you're just gonna have to

439
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 2: get used to that. But simultaneously, especially as you kind

440
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 2: of work through such an emotionally trying time, there's nothing

441
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 2: wrong with not wanting to be alone. I feel like

442
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 2: that fear is natural and it's normal and it's rational.

443
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 2: But there's a lot of ways to not be alone

444
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 2: that don't involve continuing to engage in a relationship that

445
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 2: you're not happy with right right their friends, their family.

446
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 2: There are other romantic You could just simply put yourself

447
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,199
Speaker 2: out there in the dating pool and date casually. You know,

448
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 2: you could just be seeing people on and off as

449
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 2: you just sort of have time and see fit and

450
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 2: that's fine and that's healthy and that's cool too. You

451
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 2: don't need to be in this intense, toxic, long term

452
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 2: relationship that's not working out for you in order to

453
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 2: avoid loneliness. There are other ways to connect with people

454
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 2: that don't involve being in that context.

455
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 1: I agree, I think you could benefit a lot from

456
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 1: kind of broadening your your solutions to your to your

457
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 1: loneliness problems, you know, instead of just investing it all in,

458
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 1: you know, being in this relationship that's not working for you.

459
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 2: And again you know specific specifically, you know, in terms

460
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,439
Speaker 2: of the grocery store thing that you're talking about, you

461
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 2: must know other people who also need food. You can

462
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: go to the grocery. You could do your grocery shopping

463
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 2: as well with somebody who also goes to a grocery

464
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 2: store in your area or a town over or whatever.

465
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 2: You know, there's lots of ways to engage in these

466
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: uh you know, activities with somebody else to make them

467
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 2: go by faster, make them more fun, or just you know,

468
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 2: make them feel less isolating.

469
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: How do you feel hearing all of this? Ryan?

470
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 9: I feel like you've given me very good insight on

471
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 9: the situation that I'm dealing with. It's helped a lot

472
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,640
Speaker 9: so so far, I'm really seeing seeing the light.

473
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: Listen before we go, where are you parked right now?

474
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: Are you in?

475
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 2: Like, are you at the grocery store?

476
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 1: Are you right now?

477
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 3: So?

478
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 9: I am parked at an abandoned Albertson's that sometimes turns

479
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 9: into one of those halloween stores Spirit Halloween. Yeah, yeah,

480
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 9: it's but it's October.

481
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: You get your Halloween shopping done.

482
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be a good Uh listen, go in there

483
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: and grab yourself a Halloween costume and that can be

484
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: your first excursion out there by yourself into a store.

485
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 9: I'll go do that. I'll go to uh hot topic

486
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 9: or something by a costume.

487
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:17,919
Speaker 1: Ryan, is there anything else you want to say? It's

488
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,439
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go.

489
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 9: No, I'm I'm good, Thank you guys.

490
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 1: Hey, take careon love you Ryan. How have you How

491
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: are you with with being alone?

492
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 2: Depending on you know, I'm definitely the type of person who, uh,

493
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,479
Speaker 2: like my social battery runs out sometimes, yeah, and then

494
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 2: I feel like I need a break. Yeah, kind of

495
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 2: need some isolation, kind of need like a solo activity,

496
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: play some bass play, some guitar play, some violin, something

497
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 2: like that, you know, watch some silly internet videos, you know,

498
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 2: or you know. My work usually entails being alone, so

499
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: sometimes I'll just do that.

500
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 1: It's it's hard on this podcast. I feel like we

501
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: get so many like young people who are like very

502
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: similar to Ryan, where it's like, you know, I was

503
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 1: in this relationship when I was really young, and then

504
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if it's still serving me.

505
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: And they it's a tough thing because then they get

506
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 1: out and then they have problems like just being alone,

507
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:23,199
Speaker 1: which is like a necessary skill. You know, I've had

508
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: problems where like I I really pride myself on like

509
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 1: being able to be out in the universe and go

510
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: like I'll go on to like foreign countries alone and

511
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 1: trips alone, and I like doing that. But sometimes I

512
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 1: feel as though my pride in doing that, you know,

513
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 1: there is a proclivity to it that can push you

514
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: away from other people. And I know that there's got

515
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 1: to be a good balance between those things.

516
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, specifically in regards to the relationship things. Sometimes you

517
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 2: have young people who are bouncing around from relationships relationship

518
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 2: to relationship, very volatile, in a very volatile fashion. Yeah,

519
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 2: and seemingly they can't even commit to anything. But then

520
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 2: you have people who sort of like, we'll commit to

521
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 2: something really hard, really long term for maybe like the

522
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 2: wrong reasons, and you're ignoring red flags. Maybe you find

523
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 2: yourself in a position where you're like saving the other

524
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 2: person and you know you're you're there more for their

525
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 2: benefit than you are for your own you know, and

526
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,719
Speaker 2: there's no balance there. And as you say, like there

527
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 2: has to be, there has to be some kind of balance,

528
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 2: you know, we have to meet somewhere in the middle.

529
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 2: We you know, should commit to people who are willing

530
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 2: to put in the time and care about us and

531
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 2: are emotionally invested in us. Like when we see a

532
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: good thing, you know, in terms of like another person

533
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 2: in our lives who's adding positive stuff, be it romantically

534
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 2: or platonically, we should give that person time. We should

535
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,479
Speaker 2: give that person respect, We should give that person whatever

536
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 2: they need to be able to continue engaging with us,

537
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 2: and you know, sort of like a healthy and positive way,

538
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 2: you know. But simultaneously, while committing can be good, you

539
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 2: don't want to stick to something that's bad for you

540
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: bad for the other person either.

541
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: Right, you know, I got a question for you. Why

542
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: do you think virtually, like almost all music at least,

543
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 1: like when you look at like popular music, it's all

544
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: about love, it's all about sex, and it's all about romance.

545
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 1: Why do you think that is?

546
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 2: I mean, in terms of the most popular music, I

547
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 2: think I mean most popular music gets to the level

548
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 2: that it does just based on its appeal, you know

549
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 2: how widely it appeals and one of the most widely

550
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 2: us things. Romance literally transcends language, you know, like what

551
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 2: it is to be in love. Sure, cultures interpret these

552
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 2: things differently, but in a lot of respects, what it

553
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 2: means to be in love in California is you know,

554
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 2: the same thing that it means to be in love

555
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 2: in Dubai. You know, it's like there's there's at least

556
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 2: kind of universally an understanding of what that feeling is

557
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: to some degree, and as a result, Yeah, some of

558
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 2: the most popular songs pizzas of music of all time

559
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 2: are about being in love, you know, just because again

560
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 2: it's just such a powerful feeling, it's an intense fity. Again,

561
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 2: it's a universal feeling. And on top of it, most

562
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: music that you see on the charts, it gets as

563
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 2: popular as it does by appealing to young audiences. And

564
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: what demographic of people is more love sick, yes, than

565
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 2: at that point in their life? Right right?

566
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: Right?

567
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 2: Then people who are like, you know, age twelve to

568
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: twenty something.

569
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: Right right right? I feel like I don't know, there's

570
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: something to me makes me feel like there's something about

571
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: it makes me feel like young people will like rush

572
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: into things just because there's this cultural sentiment that if

573
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: you don't have romantic love in your life, it's like

574
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: the number one thing and it is very important. Or

575
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: it makes you a loser, right, or it makes you

576
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 1: a loser or like I mean, you know, like you know,

577
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: if you're not having sex, you're a loser. If you're

578
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: not in love, you're a loser. You're not you know,

579
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: in some kind of romantic thing. And I don't know.

580
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: Sometimes I've gotten a feeling from talking to people that

581
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: it will lead them, you know, that kind of cultural

582
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: notion will lead them to like, you know, like like

583
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: Ryan was, like be in things that aren't even working

584
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 1: for them.

585
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I can. Yeah, I mean that that

586
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: desire to stick to something that may not even be

587
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 2: good for you can come from a lot of places,

588
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 2: and that can definitely be one of them.

589
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: Let's talk to David from New York. Hello, David, you

590
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,479
Speaker 1: sound confused.

591
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 5: Okay, David, I'm just shocked to be on. How's it

592
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 5: going good?

593
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 1: Good? How can we get you today? David?

594
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 5: Well, I'm having a problem with my cousin and my family,

595
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 5: and I was hoping you could.

596
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 7: Help resolve it.

597
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 1: What's going on?

598
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 5: So my cousin and her husband are redoing their bathroom

599
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 5: and one of the things that they need to change

600
00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 5: is their toilet. And so my cousin's husband and goes

601
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 5: to home depot. He checks out all the toilets, He

602
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 5: picks out one that he thinks is good whatever. Comes

603
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 5: back home and my cousin is like, did you sit

604
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 5: on the toilet at home depot? And he says no,

605
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 5: And she gets frustrated with him because she's like, how

606
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 5: could you buy a toilet that you didn't already sit on?

607
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 5: And my family's torn. We don't know how to feel

608
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 5: about it.

609
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 2: Well, die further and does what is her philosophy behind this?

610
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 2: Like is she mad because he didn't even test it

611
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 2: to see if it felt good or something or right?

612
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 1: The idea that, like, why you're bringing this toilet into

613
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: your life that you're going to be using every day

614
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: for several years, you should test it out before you

615
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: make that big of a commitment. Is that it correct.

616
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 5: Pretty much. Yeah, And we ran it by a family

617
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 5: and everyone was like, why would you sit on the

618
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 5: toilet at the home depot? And I am on her side.

619
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 5: I feel like you should try it out.

620
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: I mean, because it is a non functional toilet. It's

621
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 2: only so far that you could try it out. Number one,

622
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 2: number two. Toilets are made to a pretty specific set

623
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 2: of parameters, especially if you're buying the sort of contractor

624
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 2: grade stuff that's at home Depot. Like you, her husband

625
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: did not go to a boutique sort of you know,

626
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 2: bath remodel place. You know, there's which I've been to

627
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 2: some of those. I've done a few bathroom remodels. Like

628
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 2: the models that you're going to find at home Depot,

629
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 2: there's not a whole lot of range in terms of

630
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 2: how they sit. You know, if you're going to Home

631
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 2: Depot for a toilet, you're you know, it's it's kind

632
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 2: of like a you know, being mad that you didn't

633
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 2: try the store brand cereal before you left the store.

634
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 2: Like it's store brands. You know what you're again, you

635
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 2: know what you're getting.

636
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's also the law has a philosophy about whether

637
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 1: or not you are allowed to take off your clothes

638
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: and sit in a toilet in public, right, and their

639
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: philosophy is that you cannot.

640
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 2: Right and again at these at these sort of boutique

641
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 2: you know bathroom remodel places. They have small bowl toilets,

642
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 2: they have heavy and low flow, they have short tall

643
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 2: they have short ones, they have tall ones, they have

644
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,719
Speaker 2: metal ones, they have porcelain ones. There's like a huge range,

645
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 2: you know. But I imagine he got like a standard

646
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 2: white porcelain that probably can flush a few golf balls,

647
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: that sits relatively low. I mean, I can't imagine there

648
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 2: was a huge range of options and comfortability.

649
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: You could have tried. They could have tried out the

650
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: one that like the actual bathroom of the store, seeing

651
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: if that one was good, and been like, can you

652
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: just get me this one right? That way, he got

653
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: to try it out beforehand. Also, I've never had I

654
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: don't have you ever sat on a toilet that you

655
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: had Have you ever sat on a toilet that you

656
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: had a strong opinion about?

657
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I had a bad experience on a toilet, Yeah,

658
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't.

659
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: I don't typically have strong opinions about my toilet experiences.

660
00:33:59,080 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 5: Jesus Christ.

661
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 2: I guess I have had some experiences in the past

662
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 2: where like, I don't. I don't know if this was

663
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 2: as a result of like maybe the bowl being shallow,

664
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 2: maybe the water riding high. But I have had instances

665
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: where like my nuts touch the water, okay, which is

666
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 2: obviously not a great experience. You don't want your you

667
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 2: don't want testicles having water contact.

668
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: Now that you bring it up, I'm kind of on

669
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: the what of the cousin's wife's side, because if I

670
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 1: bought a toilet again, that is a commitment that I'm

671
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 1: gonna be having this toilet every day in my life

672
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 1: for many years. And I sat down the first time

673
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: to use that toilet and my nuts touch the water,

674
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 1: I'd be like, fuck, I should have tried toilet play.

675
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 2: Toilets don't have water in them.

676
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 1: Though, there was no way to win this. You, Yeah,

677
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 1: buying a toilet is truly a measure of faith.

678
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's true. You think there are taking a

679
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 2: bit of a risk because it's like, you know, some

680
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: something like a toilet, there is going to be even

681
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,359
Speaker 2: if you do sit on it, there's good there's going

682
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 2: to be a measure of unknowability until it's actually like

683
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: in there with the water flowing and you're using it

684
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,839
Speaker 2: and you know it's it's actually being you know, it's

685
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 2: you're taking that out on the road.

686
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 1: What did your cousin's wife suggest that he should have done.

687
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 2: Just sat on it.

688
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 5: Well, she she wanted him to sit on it. But like,

689
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 5: my follow up question to that is, like, how accurate

690
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 5: of a gauge can you get if you're wearing pants.

691
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 2: If you're wearing pants and on top of it and

692
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 2: on top of it. A lot of your comfortability or

693
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 2: a lot of the experience on a toilet has also

694
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 2: to do with the toilet seat, because there's a whole

695
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 2: wide range of different styles of toilet seats.

696
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: That yes, yes, yeah, yeah.

697
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 2: The same toilet experience. Your experience with the same toilet

698
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 2: could be bad or great depending on what the seed

699
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 2: is on top of.

700
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 1: It, right right, right, You could the seed is fungible,

701
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 1: you can take it out, and the seed is not.

702
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 1: The toilet's a commitment, but the seed is not, right ants.

703
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 5: Okay, that wasn't even part of the discussion. So I'm

704
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 5: glad we.

705
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 2: Need to think about this.

706
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,359
Speaker 1: This is the this is the first person in the

707
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: history of the podcast that I'm one hundred percent sure

708
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:14,760
Speaker 1: we helped.

709
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:20,360
Speaker 5: I know, I like you've really cleared things up for

710
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 5: me today. I'm really appreciative.

711
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

712
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: people that compute it before we go.

713
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 5: David, I'm I'm just a big fan of both of you,

714
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 5: and I'm glad I got to talk to you.

715
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,320
Speaker 2: Thank you very much. Do you think your do you

716
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 2: think your cousin? Do you think this problem could be

717
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 2: alleviated maybe with the suggestion that, like, well maybe we

718
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 2: could explore some different toilet set options. Do you think

719
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:44,320
Speaker 2: that would make your cousin happy?

720
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 5: H I'll have to pitch it. I'll see how it goes.

721
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:50,879
Speaker 2: Pitch it, see how it goes.

722
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 5: Call us back, all right, I will. I appreciate it.

723
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 1: Thank you, take care of David. What kind what kind

724
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 1: of toilet you riding on?

725
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:01,280
Speaker 2: Not a fancy one?

726
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: Okay? Have you ever sat down? And there are some

727
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 1: that have like I don't know what the material is,

728
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 1: but there's some that are like they're hard, and then

729
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 1: there are some that they have uh the kind of

730
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 1: soft uh material where you sit and it's like a

731
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: temper pedic where you like like the seat. Yeah, Matt's okay.

732
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 2: I remember those, but only at like when I was

733
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 2: a kid, in at like my grandma's house or like

734
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 2: you know, like an elderly person's house where you kind

735
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 2: of have that cushion, you know. Yeah, I haven't. I

736
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 2: haven't seen one of those in a long time.

737
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 1: It's funny you mentioned weirdly, now that I'm thinking about it,

738
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: I've typically experienced the uh, those toilets at the homes

739
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 1: of elderly people, right, But why is that.

740
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 2: Some softness?

741
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: Yeah?

742
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 2: Their butts are old and broken down. They need a

743
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 2: bit of a when you're When you're young, you could

744
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 2: you can get then you could have a you could

745
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 2: have a set of spikes and you're fine, you know,

746
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 2: But when you're eighty, you need a bit of a

747
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 2: epillowy epilloy throat.

748
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: Oh god, let's talk to Morgan.

749
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 2: Let's do it.

750
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 1: Hello, Hi Morgan, how are you?

751
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 10: Oh my gosh, I'm good.

752
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 11: How are you?

753
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm here with Anthony Fantana. We're being geckos

754
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 1: and talking to people on the phone. Uh, what's going

755
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 1: on today?

756
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:20,879
Speaker 10: Nothing much.

757
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 12: I was just kind of hanging out, caught your stream

758
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 12: and then I don't know, I felt like i'd call

759
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 12: in Morgan.

760
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: It says here that you stole a guy's Social Security card.

761
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 12: I did, I did?

762
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: Okay, do you wanna tell us why?

763
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 3: So?

764
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 13: Okay?

765
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 12: I didn't like Steel's like danity, but I don't know.

766
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 12: We were we were going pretty steady. We were in

767
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 12: a relationship for a little bit and then thanks for

768
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 12: going great. You know, we were hanging out a lot.

769
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 12: He introduced me to like all his friends, his family.

770
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:11,359
Speaker 12: She was she was great. We were vibing, and then

771
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 12: like all of a sudden, he just like up and

772
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 12: left like no.

773
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 2: Trace, like disappeared, just disappear.

774
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 12: Get a hold of him. Yeah, like like I could

775
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 12: not get a hold of him for like forty eight

776
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,720
Speaker 12: hours on end, and I was like, oh, are you okay?

777
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 12: Like I just wanted him to text me and be like, yo,

778
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 12: I'm alive.

779
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 1: That's all I asked. Right, So if you didn't know

780
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: where he was, how did you obtain his Social Security card?

781
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 12: Well here's okay, gets jessy, it gets a little juicy.

782
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 12: So I didn't hear from him for about like three

783
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 12: four weeks, like maybe a month, and I'm like, all right, well,

784
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 12: this guy's just I hope he's alive.

785
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 2: Does he have social media or anything? Like? There was

786
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 2: no trace of this man anywhere.

787
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 12: So he's like kind of he was like a kind

788
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 12: of a hippie like doesn't. His Instagram doesn't have Facebook.

789
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 12: He has snapshot.

790
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 14: That's it.

791
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 2: And did you were you aware of any updates since

792
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 2: he disappeared?

793
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 11: No?

794
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 12: No, well, oh well he's alive.

795
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 10: He's fine here.

796
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 2: Okay.

797
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 12: So while we were after that, like I hadn't heard

798
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 12: from him for a few weeks, I got like a

799
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 12: text from his one friend because I had shit at

800
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 12: his house. That doesn't really matter anyways, After like four weeks,

801
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 12: he hit me at like I got drunk bad, but

802
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 12: it was the day of my college graduation and I

803
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 12: got down like three bottles of wine and I called

804
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 12: him like ten times crazy. I know it sounds crazy, Okay,

805
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 12: I'm sorry, but I hit him up and I was like, hey,

806
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 12: come over, and he's like he replied, he was like, okay,

807
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 12: I haven't heard from this man in weeks. And he

808
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:08,399
Speaker 12: came over, you know, for the business, for the business.

809
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 12: And then I was just like, you know, I'll let

810
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 12: it go, like I'm not going to be mad that

811
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 12: he ghosted me, like maybe he's going through it. But

812
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 12: then he left his wallet here and went home and

813
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 12: then he called me. He's like, hey, I think I

814
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 12: left my wallet there, and I you know, my eyes

815
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 12: lit up for the moment. I said, this is such

816
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 12: a great opportunity. So he called me, He's like, is

817
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 12: my wallet there? And I said, no, I don't see

818
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 12: it anywhere. I was like, I was like, I checked

819
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 12: under my bed, I checked in my sheet, I checked outside,

820
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 12: like I checked everywhere. I don't see that shit at all.

821
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 12: So he all of a sudd I don't know, he

822
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 12: like came back and he didn't.

823
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 10: Come back to my apartment.

824
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 12: Sorry, that was what Robson say.

825
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 14: He like, damn, I.

826
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 12: Took pictures of his uh credit card. I took pictures

827
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 12: of his social Security cards, like just in case he

828
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 12: came back. And then basically it just turned out it

829
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 12: was a huge inconvenience for him. He had to cancel

830
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 12: all his credit cards. He had to cancel like everything.

831
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 12: He lost his social Security card so like he couldn't

832
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 12: get a passport and he was like trying to travel

833
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 12: and shit. So I basically talked him and I feel

834
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 12: really guilty all of a sudden, because.

835
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 10: Morgan, who no, go ahead?

836
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: Why do you feel guilty?

837
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 12: Because you know he's he's a good guy. He's a

838
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:02,760
Speaker 12: good guy, And that wasn't right of me. And today

839
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 12: two years It's been about two years since that happened.

840
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 10: And he.

841
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 12: Hit me up today and apologized for ghosting me. And

842
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 12: he just was like, I'm really sorry, Like I have

843
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 12: a lot of guilt and I'm very remorseful about that.

844
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,880
Speaker 12: It's a weird time in my life. And I was like, wow,

845
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 12: I'm sorry.

846
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 2: Now for kind of dialing back on the story a

847
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 2: little bit. You were talking about the crossroads that you

848
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 2: were at when he asked you where the wallet was.

849
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 2: You said, this was a perfect opportunity. What was it

850
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: a perfect opportunity to do? What was that an opportunity

851
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 2: to do?

852
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 12: You know, in my mind in that moment, I think

853
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 12: I felt like it was it was a good opportunity

854
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 12: for like revenge because he ghosted me. You know, I

855
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 12: just up and left. I'm like, that's I kind of.

856
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 3: It kind of suck.

857
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 2: Sound This sounds cliche, but I think I think the

858
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 2: lesson here is that hurt people hurt people. You you

859
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: were hurt, and legitimately not not to invalidate you being hurt.

860
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 2: You know, this This is more of like a personal

861
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 2: self check here, you know, because if you ever feel

862
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 2: these feelings bubbling up in you again, you need to

863
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 2: ask yourself because this is you know, you sound like

864
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 2: a very nice person and this and you're feeling guilty

865
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 2: about it. Now, this doesn't sound like the kind of

866
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 2: behavior that you typically engage in. You know, if these

867
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 2: feelings ever bubble up again, you need to ask yourself,

868
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 2: why am I feeling like I want to do this?

869
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 2: Why do I feel like I want to hurt this person?

870
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 2: Have they hurt me? Am I feeling upset about the

871
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 2: way that they've treated me? And if you are, which

872
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 2: it's it's it's valid for you to feel upset about

873
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 2: being ghosted. Is there another avenue through which I can

874
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: get closure or some kind of you know, a more

875
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,720
Speaker 2: positive feeling out of this experience? And that I'm having

876
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 2: this experience that I'm having other than doing something that's

877
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 2: potentially legal, because you don't you don't want to get

878
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 2: caught lifting someone's social you know, I.

879
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 1: Kind of have to know what was like. So you

880
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 1: took pictures?

881
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 2: All right?

882
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: Let me ask, by the way, do you still have

883
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 1: these pictures?

884
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 12: So I have deleted them tonight because I have done

885
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 12: a lot of growing and that definitely isn't my behavior,

886
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 12: my normal behavior. I was surrounded by two of my

887
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 12: best friends, and it was kind of like, you know,

888
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 12: that's no.

889
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 6: Excuse, No, there wasn't.

890
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 15: Actually there was.

891
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 12: A little peer pressure, but not you know, Okay, it's

892
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:53,760
Speaker 12: the game time decisions.

893
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 1: I think deleting the pictures of your ex's credit card

894
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: off your phone is a good step forward.

895
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 2: Good But I mean, I I could, I could see

896
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:06,280
Speaker 2: how those situations formulate where again, you're you're legitimately upset,

897
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 2: and you have friends who are upset for you too,

898
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 2: and their attitudes are like, well fuck that guy, d D,

899
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 2: which again valid, valid, but but you don't want those

900
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 2: feelings to push you in a place where you're doing

901
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 2: anything like you're feeling right now that you end up regretting.

902
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 1: M hm.

903
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,919
Speaker 2: There there's lots of ways to get that anger out

904
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,800
Speaker 2: other than doing something that you regret.

905
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, I like what you said where

906
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 1: you were like it is is a lesson, a lesson

907
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:37,760
Speaker 1: in that idea that hurt people. Hurt people because he

908
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: goes to you because it's something going on with him,

909
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 1: and then that upsets you. So you do this thing

910
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 1: and then he gets upset that you did this thing,

911
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 1: so he doesn't know it's just an end. It's an

912
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 1: endless cycle until you, you know, really kind of sit

913
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 1: down and go, why am I doing this again? Do

914
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 1: you buy anything with the credit card?

915
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 12: So I was so tempted, but like I'm like, I

916
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 12: could not. I have done nothing with it, Like honestly,

917
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 12: I was. I was just so sad, Like I was

918
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 12: just so upset, you.

919
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 1: Know, And what were you contemplating buying with the credit card?

920
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 12: You know, I was gonna buy something really stupid, like

921
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:26,320
Speaker 12: I think my first thought was like a you know, Amazon,

922
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 12: sounds like fifty two gallon drums of lube or like

923
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 12: just something so outrageous I was.

924
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 2: I was. I was having a text conversation with somebody

925
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 2: who that that came up in conbo.

926
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 1: The giant fifty two gallon, the giant.

927
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 2: Drums of lube they sell on Amazon. Yeah, apparently they exist.

928
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 1: I like, how both of you had an experience with

929
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 1: this fifty two gallon.

930
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 2: I share I shared a meme that had a picture

931
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 2: of one of them and their reactions, and I didn't

932
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 2: know what it was. You know, obviously there was like

933
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 2: a reference to lube in it, but I didn't know

934
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 2: what the hell that was in isn't that one of

935
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,400
Speaker 2: those giant gallon, you know, giant drums of lube they

936
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 2: sell on Amazon. And he's like, is it.

937
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 1: So there's a second prong to this that I see

938
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 1: you have told the call screener, Yeah, and this is

939
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 1: it says that he does not know that you took

940
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: his wallet, and you're wondering now that he is kind

941
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 1: of confessed to you, whether or not you confess to him.

942
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on that?

943
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:33,240
Speaker 2: Morgan?

944
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,840
Speaker 12: I think at this point, honestly he does not know.

945
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 12: But honestly, I think if I told him he might

946
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 12: laugh about it, like he might. I think it's funny.

947
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 2: M I don't. I don't. He's apologized to you for

948
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,839
Speaker 2: ghosting you with that. Has he actually re entered your

949
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 2: life life? Are you guys close again? Are you talking

950
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 2: more again? Or is he just kind of still out

951
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 2: there just doing his own thing. Because if he's just

952
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 2: kind of off his own world, maybe it's not something

953
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 2: you want to bother him about. But if it's something

954
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 2: that he's always around you and it's itching at you

955
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 2: because it's something that you did and you're upset about it,

956
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:16,839
Speaker 2: maybe maybe it's something that you bring up.

957
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 12: Now he's not in my life. He he's pretty long gone.

958
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,240
Speaker 12: He's doing his own thing, and I've got Also another

959
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 12: part to it is like I don't know if I

960
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 12: should tell my current boyfriend, not that I actually he

961
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 12: knows that I stole his ship, he does, but should

962
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 12: I tell him that he like apologized to me, because

963
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 12: he's like, he's kind of like.

964
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 2: Right. So I mean, if there's listen, if there's nothing

965
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,439
Speaker 2: currently going on between you two, maybe just don't bother

966
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,359
Speaker 2: your current boyfriend with it. I mean, I think we've

967
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 2: reached a point where, at least in my own view,

968
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 2: is kind of a let sleeping dogs lie moment. You

969
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,479
Speaker 2: kept the credit cards, you kept the wallet, you didn't

970
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 2: get caught. This guy has moved on with his life gone. Yeah, okay,

971
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:11,799
Speaker 2: what what what? Everything's gone? Everybody's moved on with their lives.

972
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,800
Speaker 1: Wait the wallets, What did you do with the wallet?

973
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 12: The wallet is gone? So I actually my parents live

974
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 12: in like bumblefuck Egypt, So I literally.

975
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 2: Burn it like bumblefuck where usually when I think of

976
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 2: the term bumble fuck, I don't usually associate Egypt with it.

977
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 2: They live in bumblefuck Egypt?

978
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 10: What is it Egypt?

979
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 12: They just live in the middle of nowhere. You've never

980
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 12: heard that expression.

981
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 2: No, no, I've I've heard. I don't usually hear it

982
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 2: associated with Egypt.

983
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: You could have told me that bumblefuck was like a

984
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 1: place in Egypt, and I would have been like, oh really.

985
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 2: Usually when I think bumblefuck is usually a place out

986
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 2: in the middle of the woods, right, you know, just

987
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:52,280
Speaker 2: like isolation.

988
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:53,359
Speaker 12: That's exactly where it is.

989
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 10: But I don't know, got it?

990
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 7: Okay, I don't Egypt.

991
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 1: Wait, so what do they have to do with this wallet?

992
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 1: You like went out to.

993
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:00,800
Speaker 12: Where they burn it there?

994
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 2: You burned it there, Okay, okay, while it's gone and

995
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 2: burned the guy. The guy is out of your life

996
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 2: and he's seemingly having no impact. He just apologized. He

997
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 2: doesn't know that you have it, or he didn't know

998
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 2: that you have a new boyfriend. He was just feeling

999
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 2: guilty in his own mind about having ghosted you. He apologized.

1000
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 2: He's out living his own life. There's nothing going on

1001
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 2: between you two, and I mean, you know, potentially bring

1002
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 2: this up with your current boyfriend. I guess could potentially

1003
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:31,800
Speaker 2: make for a weird situation. Hey, this guy who I

1004
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 2: used to see, who ghosted me, said apologic whatever you

1005
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 2: know that apology is between you two. As long as

1006
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 2: there's nothing going on between you two, you could just

1007
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 2: close that chapter the wallet thing lesson learned. You feel

1008
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,720
Speaker 2: guilty about it. You know it was dumb, you shouldn't

1009
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 2: have done it, and you know, listen in order to

1010
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 2: you know, you don't have to tell your your partner

1011
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 2: every single bad decision you've ever made in order to

1012
00:51:58,080 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 2: have a healthy relationship.

1013
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,399
Speaker 1: However, the fact that you told him that you took

1014
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 1: pictures of a guy's credit card and social Security number

1015
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 1: and he took it pretty well means that you probably could.

1016
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 14: Yeah.

1017
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 12: So he was actually my friend at the moment, so

1018
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 12: he I don't know he knew about it, and I

1019
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 12: don't know. I'm an open book, so okay.

1020
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 2: I mean, as long as you don't feel like there's

1021
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:25,400
Speaker 2: any sort of risk involved with sharing that information and

1022
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 2: maybe it's itching at you a little bit, I mean,

1023
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 2: go go ahead.

1024
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 1: Is there I feel like there are there? Are there

1025
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 1: any other layers to this or have we any other

1026
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 1: loose sense? Yeah? Tied it all up.

1027
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 2: I would like to pull it. Bumblefuck Egypt though?

1028
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 1: Cool? Is that where the pyramids are?

1029
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 14: Yeah?

1030
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 12: Yeah, that's where they are? Uh?

1031
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 1: Morgan anything else you want to say to me or

1032
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: Antie Fantana or to the people the computer.

1033
00:52:56,320 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 12: Before we go, Anthony, I, I'm not gonna lie. I

1034
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 12: don't really know who you are, but I have to

1035
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 12: say I have to say that, like the way you

1036
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 12: give advice just enchanting. You're enchanting.

1037
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 2: Oh, well, thank you appreciate.

1038
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 12: It, like it was great, even Mile, this is great.

1039
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:19,479
Speaker 2: Dream team.

1040
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,719
Speaker 12: Yeah, I don't know. I hope, I hope everyone doesn't

1041
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 12: think I'm too crazy.

1042
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 1: But you know what, if you do, who cares what

1043
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 1: people think? Morgan, Right, don't.

1044
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 2: Look at the chat.

1045
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 12: That's my vibe.

1046
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 1: Hey, take care man.

1047
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 12: You guys too.

1048
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 1: Do you ever do anything like this on your stream,

1049
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: like like so people asking you for advice or anything

1050
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:51,720
Speaker 1: sort of in the non music worlds like this.

1051
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 2: There was maybe maybe maybe like years and years and

1052
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 2: like pre twitch, like you two first started doing. Yeah,

1053
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:02,880
Speaker 2: maybe I would sort of do Q and A and

1054
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 2: shoot the shit. Maybe somebody would have a personal question. Yeah,

1055
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 2: there was a weird pocket that I got caught into

1056
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 2: once on Instagram where I was doing. I was just

1057
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 2: like responding to comments people left me on like Instagram

1058
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 2: stories about you know, music and stuff. And then I

1059
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 2: think somebody asked like a personal question or something that

1060
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:23,359
Speaker 2: was music related but was something you know, personal to them,

1061
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,279
Speaker 2: and it sort of ended up being kind of like

1062
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 2: a life advice thing. Yeah, and then everybody was asking

1063
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,959
Speaker 2: me like all sorts of different shit from like either

1064
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 2: relationship shit or like coming out to their parents stuff,

1065
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 2: all those different things, and I was just like, you know,

1066
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,960
Speaker 2: I was answering questions people were asking me, like for

1067
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 2: weeks and weeks and weeks, and it was like, you know,

1068
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 2: it was cool. People seemed to get a lot out

1069
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 2: of it, but like you know, it wasn't something I

1070
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 2: could kind of devote myself to necessarily. It was just

1071
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 2: like a bunch of Instagram stories. So I did that

1072
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:52,280
Speaker 2: for a little bit. And and again with the podcast,

1073
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 2: I kind of sent back and forth with my friends.

1074
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 2: Were always kind of like going over each other's problems

1075
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:57,800
Speaker 2: or decisions or whatever.

1076
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, but you said you were spending like try

1077
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 1: to voice voice memos?

1078
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 2: Are you?

1079
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask, are you a guy that like

1080
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 1: a lot of people, like people in your personal life,

1081
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 1: they come to you to talk about stuff.

1082
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,799
Speaker 2: Sure, but also I I seek the council of other people.

1083
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: People well, you know, it's like I'm also quick to,

1084
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 2: you know, tell other people what I'm going through and

1085
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 2: ask them what they think to get you.

1086
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 1: Had an interesting angle on the last caller because you know,

1087
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,840
Speaker 1: people come on here a lot and they'll talk about

1088
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 1: like bad things that they've done, and I think the

1089
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:31,400
Speaker 1: Internet and a lot of the chat or comments and

1090
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 1: I just not even on my own shop, I'll just

1091
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 1: see this a lot. People will be like they'll be like,

1092
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 1: you're a fucking asshole or you know, fuck you, you suck

1093
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: or whatever, and like, you know, here's the thing. Is

1094
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 1: like I think when people are in a position where,

1095
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 1: like their comment there, they want like help of some kind,

1096
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 1: it's like.

1097
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:49,319
Speaker 2: It's not.

1098
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: It's just not helpful because you can't do anything. Like

1099
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 1: if if you do something that's bad and someone's like

1100
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 1: you're an asshole, it's like that feels good for them

1101
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:03,399
Speaker 1: to say, but you can you can't do anything with

1102
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:07,279
Speaker 1: that knowledge. You can't just you know, I think I

1103
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 1: think that it's helpful to go in deeper and be like, Okay,

1104
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 1: well why did you do that? What were you thinking?

1105
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: How can you you know? Because I don't know. I

1106
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 1: think I'm big on that like like rehabilitation and you know,

1107
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 1: people's ability to grow.

1108
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 2: You have to give people the room and the space

1109
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:31,839
Speaker 2: to like change their behavior, right, you know, like it's

1110
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 2: it's kind of tough, you know, kind of thinking back

1111
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 2: to the first call there, like you don't want to

1112
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:40,279
Speaker 2: continue to subject yourself to somebody relationship wise if you're

1113
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 2: not changing at all or whatever. Of course, but you know,

1114
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 2: there's a difference between sticking by somebody romantically or platonically

1115
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:50,879
Speaker 2: and in your life and constantly being hard on them

1116
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 2: and being angry with them because you know, it's like

1117
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 2: you're not changing, You're not doing this, you're not doing that,

1118
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 2: You're not doing what I want, not ending to my will.

1119
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 2: I'm gonna not forgive you no matter how hard you

1120
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 2: try or whatever. You know, I it's it's it's difficult.

1121
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 2: It's difficult to suss out the point that I'm trying

1122
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 2: to make.

1123
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 1: But like, you know, yeah, well it's it's feeling. It's

1124
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 1: different with like romantic relationships than it is like with

1125
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know people coming you know, to

1126
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,080
Speaker 1: to other people like for help or whatnot.

1127
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 2: To the point you were originally making, you you should

1128
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 2: as much as you can leave space for rehabilitation, right,

1129
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 2: you know, but rehabilitation doesn't necessarily mean I continue to

1130
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 2: subject myself to you, you know. Oh, of course.

1131
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:33,520
Speaker 1: Of course not.

1132
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 2: I don't hold anything against you, you know, and I

1133
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 2: give you the space to, you know, sort of do

1134
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 2: your thing and come to you know, whatever realizations you

1135
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 2: need to change your behavior. And of course you know

1136
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 2: you can't. I guess what I'm trying to say is

1137
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 2: you can't save other people.

1138
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 1: No, you can't, well especially I mean like, of course,

1139
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 1: of course, like if your friends being an asshole, you

1140
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 1: don't have to keep being friends with them, right exactly.

1141
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: But you know, I feel like, specifically in the show,

1142
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 1: when people come on and they talk about stuff and

1143
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 1: the chat is just or everyone's like you're an answhole

1144
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 1: or whatever, I'm like, well, that's that's first of all boring,

1145
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 1: Like we ge't like somebody calls it, it's not discourse.

1146
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 1: That's what I hate about it. And as I also

1147
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: on like TikTok and whatnot, I just I mean, you know,

1148
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 1: people on the Internet are very like incendiary, and that

1149
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:24,440
Speaker 1: incendiary nature even in situations where you feel like it's

1150
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 1: not even in situations where I feel like it's deserved

1151
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 1: and maybe cosmically you do feel like it's you.

1152
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 2: Know what it is people like the judge, Yeah, you know,

1153
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 2: especially situations that they see are kind of like outlandish

1154
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 2: where maybe they could never see themselves engaging that behavior

1155
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 2: or tolerating a certain kind of behavior. Yea. Oftentimes they

1156
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 2: are tolerating or engaging in other types of bad behavior,

1157
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 2: right right, more normalized to them because of either the

1158
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 2: friend group that they run with or how they were

1159
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 2: raised or so on and so forth. You know, like

1160
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 2: nobody is completely innocent of everything. I mean, everybody has

1161
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 2: their flaws and problems and has their bad behaviors that

1162
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 2: they need to eventually come to a point where they

1163
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 2: realize that's not good. I can't keep doing that. That

1164
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 2: was a bad decision.

1165
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 1: I'm not religious by like, I like the idea that

1166
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: only God can judge, like the ONLD, Like if there were, like,

1167
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 1: if there were an entity that could judge, you would

1168
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: have to not be human.

1169
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 2: Probably Yeah, a religious guy. No, I wouldn't say particularly religious.

1170
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 2: I mean I'm like different sort of brands of spirituality,

1171
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 2: but say I'm necessarily closely following anything.

1172
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 1: What's your most what brand of spirituality is the most

1173
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 1: interesting to.

1174
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:44,120
Speaker 2: You, maybe sort of more holistic New agey or kind

1175
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:47,960
Speaker 2: of like you know, Eastern spiritual philosophies that take into account,

1176
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 2: you know, sort of taking care of the world, and yeah,

1177
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 2: you know that kind of thing.

1178
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 1: Where do you think we go when we die?

1179
00:59:57,560 --> 01:00:00,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if we go anyplace interesting. Honestly, I

1180
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 2: don't know if I really have any kind of take

1181
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 2: on that. Okay, you know, we may just end up

1182
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 2: in a sort of you know, continuous mental loop with

1183
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 2: whatever synapses or continuing to fire through our brains after

1184
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 2: our bodies have given out, and maybe we just kind

1185
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 2: of do that until things go dark. Who the hell knows.

1186
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:22,959
Speaker 1: If you found out that you were dying tomorrow, would

1187
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 1: you look back at your life be like, Yeah, I'm

1188
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 1: pretty proud of how I got to live while I

1189
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 1: was here.

1190
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 2: I feel like I'd still have a lot of years

1191
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 2: left in me and that I want to do certain

1192
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 2: things with them that I didn't get a chance to

1193
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 2: up until this point. But I could say that if

1194
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 2: I was going to die tomorrow and I was like,

1195
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 2: you know, ah, where I was dying, I could at

1196
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 2: the very least say that I spent a lot of

1197
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 2: time doing what I love doing and that I don't

1198
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:57,959
Speaker 2: necessarily have any sort of like major regrets in terms

1199
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,560
Speaker 2: of like, oh I wish I'd told this person that,

1200
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 2: or I wish I did this, or I wish I

1201
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 2: did that. You know, I feel like in terms of

1202
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 2: my wheelings and dealings with various people in my life,

1203
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 2: I don't have any sort of like major loose ends

1204
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,920
Speaker 2: that I'm wishing to tie up that I'm sort of

1205
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 2: like holding off on undoing.

1206
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 1: So that's a It's a wonderful place to be, Yeah,

1207
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 1: I think. So, Hey, you want to take a call? Yeah,

1208
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: hello Tony, Tony, Hello, Hi, what's going on with you?

1209
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 7: Oh?

1210
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 10: Nothing much, man, I'm just kind of in a crisis.

1211
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 2: So you called the gets yes better than this isn't

1212
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 2: a nine one one type crisis? Yeah?

1213
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 1: What what kind of crisis are we dealing with?

1214
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:50,080
Speaker 3: So?

1215
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 10: You know, as a public school teacher, I have to

1216
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 10: preach to my kids that drugs are bad and you know,

1217
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 10: don't do drug I don't do alcohol, and then I

1218
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 10: go home and I just rock a hard goal.

1219
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 2: Okay.

1220
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:11,640
Speaker 1: So there's a cognitive dissonance in what you preach and

1221
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 1: what you do.

1222
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 10: Yeah, because you know, as a teacher, I feel like

1223
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,280
Speaker 10: I was supposed to set the example. But weed is

1224
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 10: pretty groovy, man.

1225
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:23,919
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean a couple of different things. I mean,

1226
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 2: there is a reason that we tell kids not to

1227
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 2: do drugs and alcohol because they're children. They literally shouldn't

1228
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 2: have you know this, you know, maybe, I mean I

1229
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:39,720
Speaker 2: could I understand why you wouldn't say this, because you know,

1230
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 2: the school system would probably look at you weird if

1231
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 2: you did. But you know, you could always say to them,

1232
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 2: there's plenty of time in your adult life to think

1233
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 2: about or engage in these types of things. But your children,

1234
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,960
Speaker 2: you should have nothing to do with these substances right now.

1235
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 2: Developmentally you cannot handle it or a children. So I mean,

1236
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,320
Speaker 2: but so, I mean, I understand maybe the message that

1237
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 2: they tell you to tell them is maybe a little

1238
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 2: hard line, but I mean, you know, as studies have shown,

1239
01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:15,240
Speaker 2: weed is far less you know, destructive to one's mental

1240
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,960
Speaker 2: health and general physical being than alcohol is. And alcohol

1241
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:19,440
Speaker 2: is legal.

1242
01:03:20,480 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 1: See now, if you were like a cool eighth grader

1243
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 1: and you were telling everyone else not to smoke weed,

1244
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 1: and then you went home and smoked weed, I feel

1245
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 1: like that would be different.

1246
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, that would be different.

1247
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 10: So maybe I should illiterate that I am a high

1248
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 10: school teacher. Okay, so these kids are already vaping and

1249
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 10: sexting each other off in the bathroom, and so I'm like,

1250
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:47,640
Speaker 10: at what point should I just be like, hey, it's okay.

1251
01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 2: I mean even at that age, they should like, they

1252
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:57,439
Speaker 2: shouldn't be vaping at fifteen, like you know that like

1253
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:00,720
Speaker 2: vaping at any age is not I mean, if you know,

1254
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 2: if I would rather some fifteen year old hit a

1255
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 2: blunt and me vaping constantly. But still, with that being said,

1256
01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:11,720
Speaker 2: even though they are teenagers, there's still not yet adults.

1257
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 2: They should still maybe wait the several years, the several

1258
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:16,480
Speaker 2: more years it will take to get access to some

1259
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 2: weeder alcohol.

1260
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:22,520
Speaker 1: When you were these kids age, what were you vaping

1261
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 1: and doing drugs and whatnot?

1262
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 2: Uh?

1263
01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 10: No, Actually, when I was in high school, the Dare

1264
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:35,600
Speaker 10: to Say No to Drugs program scared me so shitless

1265
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 10: that I thought I was gonna die if I'm some

1266
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 10: hit of anything.

1267
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:44,680
Speaker 1: Right, So, to that end, do you feel as though

1268
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: there have been benefits to you at that era of

1269
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 1: your life to not doing drugs at the time, and

1270
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 1: could you then share your those benefits with the kids

1271
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:02,920
Speaker 1: in a truthful way to you in your experience.

1272
01:05:04,960 --> 01:05:08,560
Speaker 10: To be honest, I felt like me not doing drugs

1273
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 10: probably made it to where I missed out on a

1274
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:12,440
Speaker 10: lot of parties.

1275
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 2: Okay, now I can kind of a lot better time.

1276
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,479
Speaker 2: I can kind of vibe with what Tony is saying,

1277
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:25,680
Speaker 2: because this also kind of seeps into another aspect of

1278
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:29,160
Speaker 2: social education during those high school years, because I remember,

1279
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 2: as Tony is referring to, you know, those DARE program

1280
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:36,479
Speaker 2: classes where they basically scared you into thinking the moment

1281
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:39,560
Speaker 2: though you even touched a drug, you would die. Simultaneously,

1282
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:41,560
Speaker 2: they also had us go through classes that made you

1283
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:44,680
Speaker 2: think that, like the moment your penis touched a vagina,

1284
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:48,480
Speaker 2: you would catch this whole laundry list of STDs and

1285
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:52,880
Speaker 2: then you would also die. You know, I think there's

1286
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 2: a really I think societally, and I don't know how

1287
01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 2: much it is in your power to do this as

1288
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:01,120
Speaker 2: just sort of a tea true is working in a

1289
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 2: greater system here, But like there's got to be a

1290
01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:10,200
Speaker 2: middle ground between just advocating that people who are teenage

1291
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 2: make responsible decisions or maybe hold off a little bit

1292
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 2: longer to engage in certain types of behaviors for some

1293
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 2: reasonable reasons, or if they do engage in them to

1294
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 2: do it responsibly, you know, condoms, sex said, so on

1295
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:26,800
Speaker 2: and so forth. There's a fine line between that and

1296
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 2: lying to them to the point where they're just living

1297
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:33,880
Speaker 2: in a constant state of a rational fear, right, and

1298
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 2: you don't want to do that. And it sounds like

1299
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:39,240
Speaker 2: you're not doing that. There's nothing necessarily wrong with saying, hey,

1300
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:42,160
Speaker 2: might not best, might not be the best idea to

1301
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:45,959
Speaker 2: drink heavily at this age, because that's true. That's true.

1302
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,760
Speaker 2: You don't need to lie to them and tell and

1303
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:52,440
Speaker 2: make up some boogie man with alcohol in order to

1304
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:55,800
Speaker 2: relate to them that cold heart fact that that's not

1305
01:06:55,840 --> 01:06:58,360
Speaker 2: a good idea. You don't need to scare them in

1306
01:06:58,480 --> 01:07:00,960
Speaker 2: order to you know, sort of tell them you know,

1307
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 2: that's not a good idea.

1308
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:06,600
Speaker 1: Right, It sounds like you've been telling the truth, Like, yes,

1309
01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 1: it's not as you brought up. It's not good for

1310
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:10,880
Speaker 1: you know, fifteen year olds to be you know, vapid

1311
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 1: and drunk trying so knowing that you are being truthful

1312
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 1: even though you, as a twenty six year old man,

1313
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:24,120
Speaker 1: are smoking weed, which is perfectly fine.

1314
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:25,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the other thing. You're twenty six year

1315
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:26,800
Speaker 2: allowed to smoke weed.

1316
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:28,920
Speaker 1: How do you feel about it this?

1317
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:34,080
Speaker 10: Yes, no, I totally agree. And kind of what is

1318
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 10: on my mind too is as a teacher, my like

1319
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:44,520
Speaker 10: employee handbook like this basically says like it's okay as

1320
01:07:44,520 --> 01:07:48,120
Speaker 10: long as you don't do it at school. But my wife,

1321
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:52,200
Speaker 10: who is like works in healthcare, hers is like, we're

1322
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,960
Speaker 10: gonna drug test you every week or every month, and

1323
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:56,880
Speaker 10: you know you can't do no drugs. So I'm like,

1324
01:07:57,000 --> 01:08:02,480
Speaker 10: how come me molding the future of children? Can you

1325
01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:07,600
Speaker 10: know smoke? But if she's just taking patients back, it's like, hey,

1326
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 10: don't do that.

1327
01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:12,000
Speaker 2: That probably has a lot to do with the fact

1328
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:14,480
Speaker 2: that the weed that you smoke, do you get it legally?

1329
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:17,519
Speaker 10: Uh no?

1330
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 13: No, no, okay.

1331
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:23,040
Speaker 2: So weed is criminalized in the state that you live in,

1332
01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:28,599
Speaker 2: it is, yes, okay. I mean working in the institution

1333
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:33,479
Speaker 2: that you are, there may be certain legal limitations to

1334
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:37,040
Speaker 2: what a body that is publicly funded, such as a school,

1335
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:40,920
Speaker 2: can do to punish you or reprimand you for you know,

1336
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:45,599
Speaker 2: doing weed in your own spare time. Your wife, you said,

1337
01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:51,120
Speaker 2: works in the health system, yes, and is what working

1338
01:08:51,120 --> 01:08:53,160
Speaker 2: for a private hospital or institution like.

1339
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:57,639
Speaker 10: That, like a private eye care place.

1340
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:01,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know it, Given they're a private business,

1341
01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:05,920
Speaker 2: they can enact all sorts of ridiculous drug testing policies,

1342
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:08,760
Speaker 2: and that's really kind of dependent upon the person who

1343
01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:11,960
Speaker 2: runs the business unfortunately. I mean, you know, I'm sorry,

1344
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,439
Speaker 2: that's not like the most satisfactory answer, but I mean,

1345
01:09:14,479 --> 01:09:15,679
Speaker 2: you know, at the at the end of the day,

1346
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:18,519
Speaker 2: like to put a clear cut it's it's because your

1347
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:22,280
Speaker 2: wife's boss is an asshole, and it's it's because your

1348
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:25,200
Speaker 2: wife's boss is a fucking dick and and thinks that like,

1349
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 2: oh well, if they're smoking weed, they're gonna be lazy

1350
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:30,160
Speaker 2: and they're gonna come into work high and they're going

1351
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,599
Speaker 2: to fuck up at their jobs, when that's not necessarily

1352
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:34,519
Speaker 2: the case. There are tons of people who live very

1353
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:37,880
Speaker 2: functional and very deep and amazing lives who smoke pod

1354
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:39,000
Speaker 2: on a somewhat regular pieces.

1355
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:41,600
Speaker 1: It's always been fascinating to me that they test for

1356
01:09:42,120 --> 01:09:44,920
Speaker 1: uh pop but not alcohol when alcohol is just so

1357
01:09:45,040 --> 01:09:46,840
Speaker 1: much crazily more destructive.

1358
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:50,320
Speaker 2: Absolutely, but yeah, you're your white your wife's boss is

1359
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:51,679
Speaker 2: just a dickhead a question.

1360
01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:56,400
Speaker 13: Sure, sure, Uh, if you have I don't know if

1361
01:09:56,439 --> 01:09:58,640
Speaker 13: y'all have children, But if you do have children, how

1362
01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:02,000
Speaker 13: would you feel if you found out that your child's

1363
01:10:02,040 --> 01:10:08,040
Speaker 13: teacher enjoyed the cannabis my child's teacher?

1364
01:10:08,760 --> 01:10:11,559
Speaker 1: How would I feel if my child's if I found

1365
01:10:11,560 --> 01:10:13,360
Speaker 1: out that my child's teacher smoked weed?

1366
01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:17,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean I get I guess, like, you know,

1367
01:10:17,920 --> 01:10:20,840
Speaker 2: if they were just I guess, like I wouldn't really care.

1368
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:24,519
Speaker 1: I mean, are they smoking weed while they're teaching?

1369
01:10:25,040 --> 01:10:29,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing. And but the things off the clock, Oh,

1370
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:31,080
Speaker 2: who cares?

1371
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,759
Speaker 1: Who gives a man? Are you being pretty hard on yourself?

1372
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:36,240
Speaker 2: I would actually, I would actually see my way to

1373
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:40,880
Speaker 2: being somewhat okay with it on the clock if and

1374
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:44,960
Speaker 2: only if they were like medically recommended for like maybe

1375
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:49,040
Speaker 2: some kind of debility and social disorder, anxiety, whatever, you know,

1376
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:53,160
Speaker 2: because maybe there's like a certain you know, medically recommended

1377
01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:55,960
Speaker 2: amount that you have in your system to sort of

1378
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:58,599
Speaker 2: like you know, uh, take the edge off of whatever

1379
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:00,479
Speaker 2: it is, kind of like you know, ailming or issue

1380
01:11:00,479 --> 01:11:04,120
Speaker 2: that you're dealing with, because you know, weed is prescribed

1381
01:11:04,160 --> 01:11:06,080
Speaker 2: to a ton of different people in a lot of

1382
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:09,799
Speaker 2: medicinal contexts, and in those contexts, those people are expected

1383
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:12,800
Speaker 2: to go out on the job. Do you know any

1384
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:17,800
Speaker 2: number of different things while on you know that substance,

1385
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:21,120
Speaker 2: so you know, but but just off the clock, like

1386
01:11:21,439 --> 01:11:23,640
Speaker 2: who cares? Of course not. I wouldn't care. If I

1387
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:26,559
Speaker 2: was in my local town and I went to some

1388
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:29,759
Speaker 2: dive bar in the area and I saw the teacher

1389
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:32,479
Speaker 2: that my kids see, you know, every day of the

1390
01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:34,840
Speaker 2: week on the weekend, just knocking back a few who cares.

1391
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:39,280
Speaker 1: I don't want my surgeon to smoke weed at all.

1392
01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:42,639
Speaker 1: The teacher could smoke weed, but.

1393
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:46,840
Speaker 2: Drug test only surgeons. Let everybody else go. What if?

1394
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:49,680
Speaker 2: What if the surgeon's smoking weed? What if they're what if?

1395
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:51,519
Speaker 2: What if when they're not smoking weed, they're always like this?

1396
01:11:53,760 --> 01:11:56,880
Speaker 1: If the surgeon. If I was hanging out with with

1397
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:59,880
Speaker 1: like a surgeon and he was like, dude, you know

1398
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:02,479
Speaker 1: people are like I. If he was like, dude, I'm

1399
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:06,360
Speaker 1: actually really so much better at surgery when I'm stone,

1400
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:11,240
Speaker 1: I might believe him. I don't know. Yeah, Ryan, is there? No,

1401
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:13,640
Speaker 1: You're not Ryan, You're Tony Tony. Is there anything else

1402
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:15,240
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people who computer before we.

1403
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:20,759
Speaker 10: Go staying in school and do what makes you happy?

1404
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:23,080
Speaker 1: Hey, take care man, thank you. All right, we got

1405
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:25,280
Speaker 1: to eat our words real quick. This this this.

1406
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:27,400
Speaker 2: All right.

1407
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:33,200
Speaker 1: That guy's wife's boss who forces her to drug drug test.

1408
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:34,920
Speaker 1: What do you think is going on with him where

1409
01:12:34,960 --> 01:12:37,160
Speaker 1: he does a.

1410
01:12:38,360 --> 01:12:38,880
Speaker 2: What do you mean?

1411
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:39,519
Speaker 1: What do you just hit?

1412
01:12:39,640 --> 01:12:39,720
Speaker 2: Like?

1413
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:42,519
Speaker 1: What do you think it's fucked up with him?

1414
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:42,840
Speaker 5: Oh?

1415
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:46,960
Speaker 2: Well, I think there's a lot of people who are

1416
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:50,760
Speaker 2: small business owners who I mean, you know, good for

1417
01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:53,479
Speaker 2: them for building something from the ground up, you know,

1418
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:55,240
Speaker 2: I mean, good for them. Be proud of yourself. I

1419
01:12:55,280 --> 01:12:57,960
Speaker 2: think that's an accomplishment, you know. But there's some people

1420
01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:02,840
Speaker 2: who when they do that, I think they feel as

1421
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:06,040
Speaker 2: if they have the power, have the right to micromanage,

1422
01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:09,400
Speaker 2: you know, everything that goes on in their business and.

1423
01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:12,800
Speaker 1: All right, and they feel some kind of uh so, yeah,

1424
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:15,320
Speaker 1: so he probably the boss probably feels some kind of

1425
01:13:15,479 --> 01:13:17,920
Speaker 1: like desire to control.

1426
01:13:17,920 --> 01:13:20,880
Speaker 2: My employees at a certain level of performance, endliness and

1427
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:23,559
Speaker 2: trust ability and this and that, And there's so many.

1428
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:24,840
Speaker 1: It's probably compelled by fear.

1429
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:28,480
Speaker 2: Sure, because there's so many there's so much baggage associated

1430
01:13:28,479 --> 01:13:31,040
Speaker 2: with like smoking pot you know, it's like, oh people

1431
01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:34,800
Speaker 2: loose smoke potter, dirty, they're lazy, They steal they this,

1432
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:38,080
Speaker 2: say that and you smoke? No, I don't have you

1433
01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:41,800
Speaker 2: ever smoked the pott? I've never really indulged in too much.

1434
01:13:41,800 --> 01:13:44,000
Speaker 2: I have a lot of substance issues in my family,

1435
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:47,400
Speaker 2: and because I have ADHD, I have like a tendency

1436
01:13:47,439 --> 01:13:50,360
Speaker 2: to an addictive personality, so I just I just tend

1437
01:13:50,439 --> 01:13:51,599
Speaker 2: to sort of avoid it.

1438
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,640
Speaker 1: Do you have any vices.

1439
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:06,400
Speaker 2: Eating pussy? Let's move to the next call? Hello, Hello,

1440
01:14:06,439 --> 01:14:07,040
Speaker 2: what's going on?

1441
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:07,679
Speaker 1: So?

1442
01:14:08,479 --> 01:14:13,200
Speaker 14: I have the fear of everything.

1443
01:14:12,280 --> 01:14:13,960
Speaker 2: And literally everything.

1444
01:14:16,120 --> 01:14:18,440
Speaker 14: Yeah, it's called pintophobia.

1445
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:19,759
Speaker 2: Toast?

1446
01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:23,600
Speaker 14: What toast?

1447
01:14:24,280 --> 01:14:26,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a fear of toast?

1448
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:29,880
Speaker 14: I mean yeah, around some toast, I'll probably have a

1449
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:31,080
Speaker 14: panic attack, honestly.

1450
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:35,479
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, well let's dive into this. Tellus, tell us,

1451
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:36,920
Speaker 2: tell us everything we need to know about. I've never

1452
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:37,799
Speaker 2: heard of this before.

1453
01:14:38,120 --> 01:14:42,400
Speaker 1: Is she you said? It's called pinto phobia?

1454
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:45,960
Speaker 14: H yeah, pinta pinto whichever.

1455
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:48,840
Speaker 1: Okay, what's what's here?

1456
01:14:50,439 --> 01:14:50,719
Speaker 10: Yeah?

1457
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:53,920
Speaker 14: So I was first hospitalized for my first panic attack

1458
01:14:55,280 --> 01:14:58,800
Speaker 14: when at the age of six, and that was from

1459
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:02,240
Speaker 14: little fears when I was younger, and then over time

1460
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:07,519
Speaker 14: they built up and now it's literally everything. I went

1461
01:15:07,680 --> 01:15:11,080
Speaker 14: and got a psyche evaluation done, and the doctors say

1462
01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:16,599
Speaker 14: that I am in a constant state of fear. So yeah,

1463
01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:22,559
Speaker 14: in general, like when you said toast, it's like there

1464
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:28,040
Speaker 14: are specific things, but mainly it's just I am in

1465
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:31,000
Speaker 14: a constant state of fight or flight, constant state of fear.

1466
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:33,559
Speaker 14: So it might not be the toast that sets me off.

1467
01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:37,200
Speaker 14: It might just be the smell of it, or the

1468
01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 14: environment which I'm in, or just the fact that my

1469
01:15:40,520 --> 01:15:42,479
Speaker 14: body is never not in a state of fear.

1470
01:15:44,160 --> 01:15:52,720
Speaker 2: So explain this more to me. Are you afraid of

1471
01:15:53,920 --> 01:15:58,920
Speaker 2: you know, just sort of like things objects, you know, nouns,

1472
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:01,479
Speaker 2: like in the case of the host, in sort of

1473
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:04,519
Speaker 2: like in a rational, nonsensical way, like you're not even

1474
01:16:04,680 --> 01:16:08,200
Speaker 2: sure what you're even afraid of, or is your mind

1475
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:11,559
Speaker 2: kind of like cooking up scenarios of like you know,

1476
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:16,000
Speaker 2: bad things that could potentially happen, and you know, are

1477
01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:18,880
Speaker 2: are you afraid of abstracts or you know, things that

1478
01:16:19,520 --> 01:16:22,880
Speaker 2: could occur? Are you afraid of a thing happening if

1479
01:16:22,920 --> 01:16:26,360
Speaker 2: you don't avoid a certain behavior or object or whatever.

1480
01:16:26,400 --> 01:16:28,280
Speaker 2: Are you afraid of an outcome? Or are you just

1481
01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:32,559
Speaker 2: sort of like afraid of various isolated things for no

1482
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:34,160
Speaker 2: reason that you could sort of deduce.

1483
01:16:36,160 --> 01:16:38,479
Speaker 14: Yeah, it's a great question. I would say, like d

1484
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:42,720
Speaker 14: all of the above. I have fears specific objects and

1485
01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:46,040
Speaker 14: stuff like that, will you know, send me into a

1486
01:16:46,040 --> 01:16:51,439
Speaker 14: full blown panic attack. But mainly it is my mind

1487
01:16:51,600 --> 01:16:57,720
Speaker 14: creates the worst case scenario of everything. And so I

1488
01:16:57,800 --> 01:17:00,360
Speaker 14: have a gorephobia, which is the fear of leaving the house.

1489
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:03,160
Speaker 14: So you know, just walking out my front door listen,

1490
01:17:03,280 --> 01:17:07,800
Speaker 14: me into like full blown panic attack.

1491
01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:08,600
Speaker 15: You know.

1492
01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:12,240
Speaker 14: And these aren't your normal uh you know panic attacks.

1493
01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:16,600
Speaker 14: These are like they get so bad that I go

1494
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:22,559
Speaker 14: into non epileptic seizures, pass out, stop breathing. So uh

1495
01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:27,240
Speaker 14: I try to just you know, uh you know, sit

1496
01:17:27,280 --> 01:17:30,160
Speaker 14: in my room basically and do pretty much nothing because

1497
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:37,040
Speaker 14: it's almost the fear of fear in itself because they're

1498
01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:40,040
Speaker 14: so bad. I'm sorry, you guys.

1499
01:17:40,439 --> 01:17:41,960
Speaker 2: How are you feeling just being on the phone right now?

1500
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:42,920
Speaker 1: I was wondering that too.

1501
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:44,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1502
01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:49,360
Speaker 14: Yeah, I'm actually drenched in sweat, I'm shaking. I I

1503
01:17:49,400 --> 01:17:52,000
Speaker 14: am having a panic attack currently, but when am I not?

1504
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:55,760
Speaker 14: But I do have medications that help make it manageable.

1505
01:17:55,880 --> 01:18:00,320
Speaker 14: So when I you know, got on the line a

1506
01:18:00,320 --> 01:18:03,960
Speaker 14: little bit beforehand, I did take one of my medications

1507
01:18:03,960 --> 01:18:08,320
Speaker 14: that kind of helped me be able to talk and stuff.

1508
01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:12,000
Speaker 2: So, yeah, I was gonna ask you, Yeah, so far,

1509
01:18:12,560 --> 01:18:16,200
Speaker 2: what have medical professionals and institutions recommend that you do

1510
01:18:16,320 --> 01:18:19,840
Speaker 2: just take your medication? Is another sort of like therapy,

1511
01:18:21,240 --> 01:18:23,799
Speaker 2: you know, be it through talking or exposure therapy, whatever

1512
01:18:23,880 --> 01:18:25,400
Speaker 2: it is. Have there been any other kinds of like

1513
01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:27,720
Speaker 2: recommendations as to what you should do to try to

1514
01:18:27,760 --> 01:18:29,160
Speaker 2: like help alleviate your situation.

1515
01:18:31,640 --> 01:18:31,920
Speaker 15: You know.

1516
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:35,080
Speaker 14: That's like the crazy thing is like doctors will tell

1517
01:18:35,160 --> 01:18:39,439
Speaker 14: me crazy stuff. Like I've had doctors say, like, you

1518
01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:43,960
Speaker 14: will probably die from your fear of dying. So because

1519
01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:45,720
Speaker 14: I have such a high fear of it, and my

1520
01:18:45,760 --> 01:18:49,400
Speaker 14: body's in constant stress mode and I'm releasing constant stress rmons.

1521
01:18:50,880 --> 01:18:53,640
Speaker 14: I actually have like no immune system. I have a

1522
01:18:53,640 --> 01:18:56,519
Speaker 14: lot of health issues that come with it, and I

1523
01:18:57,280 --> 01:19:00,920
Speaker 14: you know, but when I asked them what do I do?

1524
01:19:02,040 --> 01:19:04,240
Speaker 14: They just they all say the same thing, which is,

1525
01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:07,439
Speaker 14: you know, get therapy. I've been in therapy for a

1526
01:19:07,439 --> 01:19:14,880
Speaker 14: long time. It's it's working. It's helping me have at

1527
01:19:14,960 --> 01:19:17,720
Speaker 14: least motivation to like get up every day, because you know,

1528
01:19:18,360 --> 01:19:20,880
Speaker 14: for a while, when you wake up every day and

1529
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:24,680
Speaker 14: your body just goes straight into spider flight mode. You

1530
01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:28,599
Speaker 14: kind of like lose the motivation to wake up every day,

1531
01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:31,240
Speaker 14: you know, and go through those feelings of passing out

1532
01:19:31,320 --> 01:19:34,760
Speaker 14: and you know, seizures and fun stuff like that. But

1533
01:19:36,160 --> 01:19:37,960
Speaker 14: I will say, the only thing I found that has

1534
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:42,200
Speaker 14: helped is and this sounds awful, but they prescribed me

1535
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:48,160
Speaker 14: dan X and DANX does take the edge off very much.

1536
01:19:48,200 --> 01:19:51,120
Speaker 14: So it's been my saving grace. But because it's a

1537
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:57,000
Speaker 14: controlled substance, they don't really give me a lot or

1538
01:19:57,120 --> 01:19:59,519
Speaker 14: enough to where I can actually have like a full

1539
01:19:59,640 --> 01:20:03,160
Speaker 14: day without panic attacks.

1540
01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:06,280
Speaker 2: How old are you if you feel comfortable sharing that.

1541
01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:08,560
Speaker 14: Twenty five.

1542
01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:11,880
Speaker 2: Up until this point. Are there any sort of like

1543
01:20:13,520 --> 01:20:17,160
Speaker 2: actions or activities that personally you found that calm you

1544
01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:20,120
Speaker 2: down or you or you feel safe engaging in that

1545
01:20:20,479 --> 01:20:24,440
Speaker 2: don't sort of like, you know, create these heightened sensations.

1546
01:20:24,520 --> 01:20:26,680
Speaker 2: I mean not to throw like you know, cliches out there,

1547
01:20:26,680 --> 01:20:30,040
Speaker 2: but like I don't know, coloring or solving a puzzle

1548
01:20:30,160 --> 01:20:32,080
Speaker 2: or I'm just spitballing, you know, are there? It could

1549
01:20:32,080 --> 01:20:34,080
Speaker 2: be anything. Are there any activities that you engage in

1550
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:36,439
Speaker 2: that sort of like don't heighten these feelings in you.

1551
01:20:38,240 --> 01:20:44,519
Speaker 14: Yeah. Actually, yeah, it's kind of ironic music. So I

1552
01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:46,880
Speaker 14: actually have my piano right in front of me, and

1553
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:49,240
Speaker 14: I was, you know, just trying to stay calm. I

1554
01:20:49,280 --> 01:20:54,080
Speaker 14: was like playing it, and yeah, writing songs, writing ballads,

1555
01:20:54,120 --> 01:20:59,320
Speaker 14: stuff like that. It's the only time I really feel calm.

1556
01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:03,920
Speaker 2: A test to the power. So yeah, yeah, so I've

1557
01:21:03,920 --> 01:21:05,720
Speaker 2: been playing it. What about listening to it?

1558
01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:11,840
Speaker 14: I've actually I've tried that. Something about just listening to

1559
01:21:11,880 --> 01:21:15,040
Speaker 14: it does not calm me down. I think I need

1560
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:18,240
Speaker 14: like the I like the hand motion and like the

1561
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:20,760
Speaker 14: I just really get into it, you know, and I

1562
01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:22,760
Speaker 14: close my eyes and I play the notes, and I

1563
01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:26,000
Speaker 14: can feel it, I can hear it. It's all the senses,

1564
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:26,320
Speaker 14: you know.

1565
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:29,760
Speaker 2: I mean, lots of neurological studies have said that the

1566
01:21:29,920 --> 01:21:32,479
Speaker 2: act of physically playing music is one of the most

1567
01:21:32,520 --> 01:21:35,559
Speaker 2: stimulating things that you can do for your for your brain,

1568
01:21:37,840 --> 01:21:42,120
Speaker 2: you know, playing it. Does it give you any sort

1569
01:21:42,160 --> 01:21:45,320
Speaker 2: of like I don't know, quote unquote high that you

1570
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:47,880
Speaker 2: can ride on for a certain amount of time afterwards,

1571
01:21:47,920 --> 01:21:49,600
Speaker 2: or do you personally find that like the moment that

1572
01:21:49,640 --> 01:21:51,479
Speaker 2: you stop and you go engage in something else, like

1573
01:21:51,520 --> 01:21:53,240
Speaker 2: it's it's right back to where it usually is.

1574
01:21:55,280 --> 01:21:58,120
Speaker 14: Yeah, the moment that I stop, it's right back, and

1575
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:03,320
Speaker 14: I'm always is when going into a really bad panic attack,

1576
01:22:03,360 --> 01:22:08,280
Speaker 14: I'm always just like, you know, where's where's my mobile keyboard?

1577
01:22:08,360 --> 01:22:09,839
Speaker 14: Somebody finds my keyboard?

1578
01:22:10,840 --> 01:22:12,599
Speaker 2: Right are there? And that was kind of the other

1579
01:22:13,040 --> 01:22:15,120
Speaker 2: suggestion or thought that I had, Like, you know, do

1580
01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:18,920
Speaker 2: you have any sort of like openness to other instruments

1581
01:22:18,960 --> 01:22:21,800
Speaker 2: that maybe are a bit more portable that you can

1582
01:22:22,040 --> 01:22:24,360
Speaker 2: sort of like, you know, bring with you to calm

1583
01:22:24,360 --> 01:22:25,920
Speaker 2: you down or maybe kind of like get a bit

1584
01:22:25,960 --> 01:22:29,200
Speaker 2: of a musical session in to take the edge off

1585
01:22:29,240 --> 01:22:32,240
Speaker 2: of really intense moment. Would would you be into picking

1586
01:22:32,280 --> 01:22:33,760
Speaker 2: up a melodica or ukulele?

1587
01:22:33,960 --> 01:22:35,960
Speaker 1: I was thinking a kambala, right, this was hard.

1588
01:22:36,040 --> 01:22:40,000
Speaker 2: I mean maybe that maybe a harmonica. It's like, okay,

1589
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:42,960
Speaker 2: do you do you feel calm ever playing that? Or

1590
01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:44,439
Speaker 2: does that not make much of a difference?

1591
01:22:45,920 --> 01:22:47,800
Speaker 14: It doesn't make much of it. You know, I tried it.

1592
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:51,599
Speaker 14: I've gotten a ukulele, a kambala. I've tried those little,

1593
01:22:51,680 --> 01:22:54,840
Speaker 14: you know, portable instruments and for me, really I don't

1594
01:22:54,880 --> 01:22:57,360
Speaker 14: know why it's just piano.

1595
01:22:58,120 --> 01:23:00,439
Speaker 2: What about a melodica though, like like an air piano

1596
01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:02,040
Speaker 2: that you kind of blow into and you kind of

1597
01:23:02,080 --> 01:23:02,880
Speaker 2: have the keys in front of it.

1598
01:23:03,280 --> 01:23:04,720
Speaker 1: Is an air piano. I've never heard.

1599
01:23:04,760 --> 01:23:07,439
Speaker 2: It's a little it's. They're they're pretty popular in a

1600
01:23:07,439 --> 01:23:09,680
Speaker 2: lot of reggae music and dub you know. They're just

1601
01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:13,320
Speaker 2: like a little it's. It's just this little plastic set

1602
01:23:13,360 --> 01:23:15,760
Speaker 2: of piano keys and there is a tube that goes

1603
01:23:15,760 --> 01:23:17,559
Speaker 2: from it and you blow into it and as you

1604
01:23:17,600 --> 01:23:18,360
Speaker 2: press the notes.

1605
01:23:18,880 --> 01:23:22,160
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, I've never heard of a lot. It's a

1606
01:23:22,200 --> 01:23:23,920
Speaker 1: piano that you play with your mouth.

1607
01:23:24,240 --> 01:23:25,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just blow into it.

1608
01:23:25,880 --> 01:23:27,200
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of this before?

1609
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:33,160
Speaker 14: I know what he's talking about. I've never played one, though.

1610
01:23:34,080 --> 01:23:36,559
Speaker 2: Well, I mean they're they're incredibly portable, and maybe there's

1611
01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:38,600
Speaker 2: something mentally that you get out of sort of the

1612
01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:40,960
Speaker 2: arrangement of the keys, you know.

1613
01:23:42,439 --> 01:23:46,720
Speaker 14: Yeah, I will say like like woodwind and stuff like that.

1614
01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:53,599
Speaker 14: I've found peace playing clarinet, uh, you know, just a

1615
01:23:53,640 --> 01:23:55,760
Speaker 14: normal recorder. And I think that's also has to do

1616
01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:58,240
Speaker 14: with breath work, you know, during panic attack.

1617
01:23:58,760 --> 01:23:58,880
Speaker 2: Right.

1618
01:24:01,040 --> 01:24:05,240
Speaker 14: Yeah, So that's actually I'm kind of curious.

1619
01:24:05,880 --> 01:24:08,840
Speaker 1: Does is there any part of you that like feels

1620
01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:12,120
Speaker 1: like you would get any kind of enjoyment of fulfillment

1621
01:24:12,200 --> 01:24:15,439
Speaker 1: out of like recording and sharing music, or are you

1622
01:24:15,479 --> 01:24:19,400
Speaker 1: strictly just enjoying being in the moment of it for

1623
01:24:19,640 --> 01:24:21,040
Speaker 1: it's its own sake.

1624
01:24:23,280 --> 01:24:23,519
Speaker 16: Uh?

1625
01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:28,680
Speaker 14: You know, the dream actually is to be like a songwriter,

1626
01:24:28,840 --> 01:24:31,280
Speaker 14: if you will. I wouldn't say I'm much of a

1627
01:24:31,320 --> 01:24:33,880
Speaker 14: singer or not. People always tell me I'm wrong, but

1628
01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:37,880
Speaker 14: I do. I wish I wasn't embarrassed of my voice

1629
01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:40,240
Speaker 14: so I could share with the world my songs because

1630
01:24:40,240 --> 01:24:44,120
Speaker 14: I write a lot about my fears and a lot

1631
01:24:44,200 --> 01:24:48,040
Speaker 14: about what it's like to be isolated, and you know,

1632
01:24:48,439 --> 01:24:51,200
Speaker 14: have that fear of everything, and I think it's pretty

1633
01:24:51,240 --> 01:24:53,160
Speaker 14: deep stuff and I would love to share it, but

1634
01:24:53,320 --> 01:24:54,760
Speaker 14: I just kind of do have I do that have

1635
01:24:54,880 --> 01:24:58,960
Speaker 14: like the fear of judgment, and plus I hate the

1636
01:24:59,000 --> 01:24:59,960
Speaker 14: sound of my own voice.

1637
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:02,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're and this is the case for a

1638
01:25:02,640 --> 01:25:04,640
Speaker 2: lot of I don't know how familiar are with what

1639
01:25:04,680 --> 01:25:06,960
Speaker 2: I do, but I review music for a living and

1640
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:08,800
Speaker 2: there are a lot of artists who I cover who

1641
01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:13,600
Speaker 2: are just releasing their own music independently, sometimes semi professionally,

1642
01:25:13,640 --> 01:25:17,680
Speaker 2: sometimes not professionally at all, just casually, and they just

1643
01:25:17,720 --> 01:25:20,679
Speaker 2: release music anonymously. I mean, you can just drop music

1644
01:25:20,720 --> 01:25:23,200
Speaker 2: on the Internet under an alias or you know, some

1645
01:25:23,280 --> 01:25:26,599
Speaker 2: kind of just like Avatar or whatever. Unless you told people,

1646
01:25:26,640 --> 01:25:27,640
Speaker 2: nobody would ever know it's you.

1647
01:25:29,560 --> 01:25:31,960
Speaker 14: That's actually a really good idea so far. Like this

1648
01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:33,240
Speaker 14: is solid advice.

1649
01:25:34,280 --> 01:25:36,240
Speaker 2: You don't need to go put your government name on

1650
01:25:36,280 --> 01:25:38,760
Speaker 2: your band camp record on the internet. You could just

1651
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:39,479
Speaker 2: come up with anything.

1652
01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:43,680
Speaker 14: That's so true. Yeah, I mean I might try that,

1653
01:25:43,840 --> 01:25:47,000
Speaker 14: but my fear with that is like, if I'm not

1654
01:25:47,160 --> 01:25:49,759
Speaker 14: able to promote it, then how does it get found?

1655
01:25:50,439 --> 01:25:52,000
Speaker 2: I mean, you could promote it, just don't promote it

1656
01:25:52,040 --> 01:25:53,920
Speaker 2: as yourself. I mean, start a Twitter account, start a

1657
01:25:53,960 --> 01:25:56,680
Speaker 2: YouTube account, just under the same alias, just to put

1658
01:25:56,680 --> 01:25:57,280
Speaker 2: your name on it.

1659
01:25:57,400 --> 01:26:02,000
Speaker 14: Okay, okay, yeah, gives that a shot.

1660
01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:04,519
Speaker 1: I feel like if we hear a heavy amount of

1661
01:26:04,560 --> 01:26:06,639
Speaker 1: air piano in it, we're gonna know it's you. Now

1662
01:26:07,160 --> 01:26:08,920
Speaker 1: if if if you come up with something and it

1663
01:26:08,960 --> 01:26:10,960
Speaker 1: has kambala and air piano, we'll know.

1664
01:26:12,960 --> 01:26:14,600
Speaker 14: Because the word pensyphobia.

1665
01:26:14,680 --> 01:26:17,840
Speaker 2: You guys are like, yeah, caught, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

1666
01:26:17,880 --> 01:26:20,120
Speaker 2: that's the title of the album and it's just got

1667
01:26:20,240 --> 01:26:21,400
Speaker 2: nothing on it.

1668
01:26:23,560 --> 01:26:25,360
Speaker 1: Ella, is there anything else you want to say to

1669
01:26:25,800 --> 01:26:27,599
Speaker 1: the people of the computer are kind of any other

1670
01:26:27,920 --> 01:26:30,240
Speaker 1: you know, thoughts, feeling sentiments you have about any of

1671
01:26:30,240 --> 01:26:31,720
Speaker 1: the stuff that we talked about before we go.

1672
01:26:33,520 --> 01:26:36,040
Speaker 14: You know, if there you know, I'll say this, if

1673
01:26:36,040 --> 01:26:38,720
Speaker 14: there's anybody else out there that deals with panic disorder

1674
01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:43,120
Speaker 14: or anything like that. Uh, it's hard, it's hard to

1675
01:26:43,200 --> 01:26:45,599
Speaker 14: wake up every day and it's hard to get through

1676
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:47,000
Speaker 14: the days. But I just want to say, if there's

1677
01:26:47,040 --> 01:26:49,800
Speaker 14: anybody out there that struggles like I do, you know, like,

1678
01:26:50,360 --> 01:26:53,840
Speaker 14: don't give up and uh, you know, just take it

1679
01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:54,559
Speaker 14: day by day.

1680
01:26:56,479 --> 01:26:59,360
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Ella, Thank you, thank you.

1681
01:27:00,479 --> 01:27:00,679
Speaker 13: Bye.

1682
01:27:01,360 --> 01:27:03,479
Speaker 1: She made me think of a question that I have

1683
01:27:03,960 --> 01:27:09,120
Speaker 1: for you about Melds About Okay, so you're a feeling,

1684
01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:12,040
Speaker 1: empathetic person, caring person.

1685
01:27:12,280 --> 01:27:13,400
Speaker 2: Have I showcased that so far?

1686
01:27:13,479 --> 01:27:17,679
Speaker 1: I have showcased that so far? And yet you're also

1687
01:27:17,840 --> 01:27:22,200
Speaker 1: committed to the truth. Has there ever been a situation

1688
01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:27,120
Speaker 1: where you meet an artist or something like that and

1689
01:27:27,280 --> 01:27:29,960
Speaker 1: you just love them as a person and they're so

1690
01:27:30,160 --> 01:27:33,759
Speaker 1: gracious to you, and then you listen to their music

1691
01:27:34,240 --> 01:27:38,599
Speaker 1: so you hate it and you and just you hate

1692
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:42,320
Speaker 1: it so much and you need to, because of your

1693
01:27:42,360 --> 01:27:46,520
Speaker 1: respect for the truth, publicly eviscerate them.

1694
01:27:46,760 --> 01:27:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, And sometimes it's the opposite where, uh, someone by

1695
01:27:51,080 --> 01:27:54,360
Speaker 2: all accounts is a total fucking scumbag. Yeah, but the

1696
01:27:54,920 --> 01:27:56,519
Speaker 2: great Yeah, it's amazing.

1697
01:27:56,560 --> 01:27:58,840
Speaker 1: Actually, how does it is? Is there any ever any

1698
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:01,480
Speaker 1: dissonance with like in the for the former scenario.

1699
01:28:01,160 --> 01:28:05,760
Speaker 2: Where there's dissonance in both, you know, because sometimes somebody's

1700
01:28:05,920 --> 01:28:11,040
Speaker 2: you know, trespasses are so egregious that you know it's

1701
01:28:11,080 --> 01:28:13,040
Speaker 2: It's one thing to acknowledge on a personal love that

1702
01:28:13,080 --> 01:28:16,120
Speaker 2: somebody's art is good, but it's another thing to use

1703
01:28:16,240 --> 01:28:19,519
Speaker 2: your multi million sub platform to be like, I'm going

1704
01:28:19,560 --> 01:28:23,639
Speaker 2: to promote this person despite their horrible behavior.

1705
01:28:23,920 --> 01:28:27,320
Speaker 1: Interesting, so you've you feel worse about the inverse than Yeah,

1706
01:28:27,479 --> 01:28:27,960
Speaker 1: I feel.

1707
01:28:27,760 --> 01:28:30,880
Speaker 2: Worse about the inverse, but I also feel pretty bad

1708
01:28:31,400 --> 01:28:36,840
Speaker 2: about the scenario you originally put as well. However, you know,

1709
01:28:36,920 --> 01:28:39,760
Speaker 2: I make it pretty clear either in my content or

1710
01:28:40,160 --> 01:28:44,160
Speaker 2: in direct content with contact some of these people that like,

1711
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,840
Speaker 2: how I feel about your music is not the same

1712
01:28:46,840 --> 01:28:48,000
Speaker 2: thing as how I feel about you at the end

1713
01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:48,920
Speaker 2: of day, it's not personal.

1714
01:28:49,080 --> 01:28:51,519
Speaker 1: Have you had and obviously don't need to name names,

1715
01:28:51,520 --> 01:28:53,679
Speaker 1: but like if you had situations like that where you've

1716
01:28:53,680 --> 01:28:55,599
Speaker 1: gotten a d M from a guy and like, man

1717
01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:56,759
Speaker 1: thought we were cool.

1718
01:28:57,200 --> 01:28:59,920
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, you know. But but the thing is,

1719
01:29:00,200 --> 01:29:01,880
Speaker 2: you know, at the end of the day, I have

1720
01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:03,920
Speaker 2: to sort of explain we are cool. I don't have

1721
01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:06,720
Speaker 2: anything personally against you. I just don't care for the

1722
01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:09,160
Speaker 2: way you made this record. And look, you're continuing through

1723
01:29:09,160 --> 01:29:11,640
Speaker 2: what you're doing. I'm continuing through what I'm doing. I

1724
01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:13,880
Speaker 2: may enjoy your next album. And that has also been

1725
01:29:13,880 --> 01:29:16,320
Speaker 2: the case. There have been some artists that, like, you know,

1726
01:29:17,960 --> 01:29:20,920
Speaker 2: it's through my platform, maybe I've like blown up, and

1727
01:29:20,920 --> 01:29:23,719
Speaker 2: then their next record I don't like, and then maybe

1728
01:29:23,720 --> 01:29:26,120
Speaker 2: they're just kind of like what the fuck, you know,

1729
01:29:26,280 --> 01:29:28,479
Speaker 2: But then maybe two three years down the road they

1730
01:29:28,520 --> 01:29:33,000
Speaker 2: make another record and I love it, you know, and

1731
01:29:33,040 --> 01:29:35,800
Speaker 2: then you know, but but I feel like, you know,

1732
01:29:37,720 --> 01:29:40,400
Speaker 2: that's just the nature of what I do. You know,

1733
01:29:40,600 --> 01:29:42,160
Speaker 2: Like I think at the end of the day, like

1734
01:29:42,200 --> 01:29:46,280
Speaker 2: a lot of people respect that, like it's independent, you know,

1735
01:29:46,320 --> 01:29:49,360
Speaker 2: I'm independent from them, they're independent from me. I don't

1736
01:29:49,400 --> 01:29:54,400
Speaker 2: get a whole lot of like artists publicly, you know,

1737
01:29:54,479 --> 01:29:56,680
Speaker 2: coming out to suck my dick over how great my

1738
01:29:56,720 --> 01:29:57,320
Speaker 2: reviews are.

1739
01:29:57,880 --> 01:29:59,400
Speaker 1: I was good. I was wondering that show's gun asks

1740
01:29:59,400 --> 01:30:01,320
Speaker 1: like two people a like kind of closey up to

1741
01:30:01,320 --> 01:30:01,760
Speaker 1: you about that.

1742
01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:04,360
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it's rare that it happens, because

1743
01:30:04,400 --> 01:30:07,000
Speaker 2: I feel like I've made it pretty clear that it's

1744
01:30:07,000 --> 01:30:08,760
Speaker 2: not gonna get you anything, right of course now. And

1745
01:30:09,000 --> 01:30:11,519
Speaker 2: the thing is, like, and I understand not doing it

1746
01:30:11,560 --> 01:30:13,360
Speaker 2: even if you do personally enjoy what I do on

1747
01:30:13,360 --> 01:30:15,679
Speaker 2: some level, because you don't want to make it seem

1748
01:30:15,720 --> 01:30:17,840
Speaker 2: like you're publicly endorsing some guy who may end up

1749
01:30:17,840 --> 01:30:20,520
Speaker 2: shitting on your record two years down the road. So

1750
01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:23,679
Speaker 2: then and then you give me legitimacy shitting on your record.

1751
01:30:23,880 --> 01:30:26,200
Speaker 2: I understand how that would be like a bad look

1752
01:30:26,280 --> 01:30:27,000
Speaker 2: at in your fans.

1753
01:30:27,640 --> 01:30:31,639
Speaker 1: So what would it take for you to compromise your integrity?

1754
01:30:32,160 --> 01:30:35,160
Speaker 2: No, I think my integrity is too valuable because I'm

1755
01:30:35,320 --> 01:30:38,559
Speaker 2: at a point where I have built up what I

1756
01:30:38,640 --> 01:30:42,160
Speaker 2: do in such a way to where it's exactly how

1757
01:30:42,200 --> 01:30:46,920
Speaker 2: I want it. And it's also I mean.

1758
01:30:50,040 --> 01:30:52,200
Speaker 1: That's had it's hard though, because both of those two

1759
01:30:52,200 --> 01:30:54,080
Speaker 1: scenarios that you mentioned.

1760
01:30:54,160 --> 01:30:56,680
Speaker 2: Why Okay, okay, I guess what I guess I'm trying

1761
01:30:56,720 --> 01:30:59,840
Speaker 2: to say here is like I make good money doing

1762
01:30:59,880 --> 01:31:01,840
Speaker 2: what I do, not to fucking flex. I'm not here

1763
01:31:01,840 --> 01:31:04,559
Speaker 2: to fucking flex on it all. I'm a long term thinker.

1764
01:31:05,840 --> 01:31:07,400
Speaker 2: The amount of money that I could make doing what

1765
01:31:07,439 --> 01:31:09,599
Speaker 2: I do, being honest about it and being above bored

1766
01:31:09,600 --> 01:31:14,439
Speaker 2: about it long term, I would make much more than

1767
01:31:14,800 --> 01:31:17,760
Speaker 2: any six figures. I see.

1768
01:31:17,800 --> 01:31:20,000
Speaker 1: That's the fucking fact. Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying.

1769
01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:21,040
Speaker 1: Exactly what you're saying.

1770
01:31:21,040 --> 01:31:22,920
Speaker 2: You're like, I'll pay you five hundred to get my

1771
01:31:23,439 --> 01:31:25,599
Speaker 2: ten right right right. It's like i'd be fleshed.

1772
01:31:25,640 --> 01:31:27,640
Speaker 1: I'll work for a little bit, but that you're not

1773
01:31:27,680 --> 01:31:29,080
Speaker 1: going to become this exactly.

1774
01:31:29,160 --> 01:31:31,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's like if I to do that,

1775
01:31:31,400 --> 01:31:35,000
Speaker 2: I would have to trade in ten more years of

1776
01:31:35,040 --> 01:31:37,559
Speaker 2: success just flush down the toilet, of course. And look,

1777
01:31:37,600 --> 01:31:40,320
Speaker 2: I mean they're there may be a point where after

1778
01:31:40,439 --> 01:31:42,320
Speaker 2: five more of this, I'll just be like, fuck it,

1779
01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:43,760
Speaker 2: I don't want to do it anymore, you know, But

1780
01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:46,200
Speaker 2: I would still like for there to be the option,

1781
01:31:47,080 --> 01:31:49,160
Speaker 2: you know, if I do decide five years from now,

1782
01:31:49,880 --> 01:31:50,800
Speaker 2: I want to do five more.

1783
01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:54,599
Speaker 1: It's smart, you know, because I feel like you. You know,

1784
01:31:54,720 --> 01:31:57,080
Speaker 1: it's it could be tempting to take some kind of

1785
01:31:57,120 --> 01:31:59,839
Speaker 1: like short term game, but you understand that your integrity

1786
01:31:59,880 --> 01:32:00,400
Speaker 1: is like.

1787
01:32:00,680 --> 01:32:03,120
Speaker 2: Here here's here's here's my plan. I'll sell the funk

1788
01:32:03,160 --> 01:32:04,519
Speaker 2: out when I'm when I'm done.

1789
01:32:05,000 --> 01:32:05,599
Speaker 1: What is selling out?

1790
01:32:05,640 --> 01:32:05,800
Speaker 13: Look?

1791
01:32:05,800 --> 01:32:06,360
Speaker 1: What is selling out?

1792
01:32:06,360 --> 01:32:08,519
Speaker 2: Look like? I have no idea. I have no idea.

1793
01:32:08,800 --> 01:32:11,400
Speaker 2: I'll completely compromise my integrity when I'm on my way

1794
01:32:11,439 --> 01:32:16,880
Speaker 2: out the door. As I'm stepping out the fucking door,

1795
01:32:17,560 --> 01:32:20,280
Speaker 2: then I'll take my two million dollars seven packed.

1796
01:32:20,600 --> 01:32:22,120
Speaker 1: So you're saying towards the end of your career, there's

1797
01:32:22,120 --> 01:32:23,040
Speaker 1: gonna be a lot more tens.

1798
01:32:23,160 --> 01:32:25,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, towards the end of my Listen, if if

1799
01:32:25,400 --> 01:32:27,439
Speaker 2: if you guys ever see me, like, you know, if

1800
01:32:27,479 --> 01:32:29,479
Speaker 2: I ever come on Karen, I'm like, hey, guys, this

1801
01:32:29,560 --> 01:32:31,920
Speaker 2: Drake records a fucking ten. I'm out of here. I'll

1802
01:32:31,960 --> 01:32:34,120
Speaker 2: see you later. I'll see you later. That'll be my

1803
01:32:34,160 --> 01:32:40,040
Speaker 2: last video and I'll be vacationing in the boss right after.

1804
01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:42,160
Speaker 1: So we got over here.

1805
01:32:42,439 --> 01:32:53,080
Speaker 15: Lana, hear, Lana, What's what's going on with you?

1806
01:32:54,439 --> 01:32:54,559
Speaker 16: Hi?

1807
01:32:54,680 --> 01:32:56,160
Speaker 11: Leileh? Hi Anthony?

1808
01:32:56,840 --> 01:32:57,000
Speaker 7: Hi?

1809
01:32:58,720 --> 01:33:00,400
Speaker 11: As it goes good?

1810
01:33:02,720 --> 01:33:06,599
Speaker 1: So Lana, listen, Uh, I do you want to tell

1811
01:33:06,680 --> 01:33:08,320
Speaker 1: us what it is that you called in to talk about?

1812
01:33:09,520 --> 01:33:12,320
Speaker 11: Yeah, i'd like to. I just knew you were gonna

1813
01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:18,000
Speaker 11: pick me somehow. So my mom is an animal lover.

1814
01:33:18,200 --> 01:33:21,960
Speaker 11: She's always she always has been. You know, dogs, hamsward, pets,

1815
01:33:22,000 --> 01:33:26,960
Speaker 11: I mean, all kinds of pets had And she has

1816
01:33:27,000 --> 01:33:31,360
Speaker 11: a parrot, one of those white ones cocktail they think

1817
01:33:31,400 --> 01:33:35,760
Speaker 11: they are called, yeah, showed up a name, really, and

1818
01:33:36,320 --> 01:33:41,759
Speaker 11: she she pets it on. She does something without knowing

1819
01:33:41,800 --> 01:33:47,479
Speaker 11: it that arouses the pets m hm. Basically when she

1820
01:33:47,640 --> 01:33:50,760
Speaker 11: pets the bird on the back. And this is the

1821
01:33:50,800 --> 01:33:53,040
Speaker 11: fact that I found out later after we got the bird,

1822
01:33:53,600 --> 01:33:56,200
Speaker 11: is that any birds like that's the big parrots, when

1823
01:33:56,200 --> 01:33:59,040
Speaker 11: you pet them on the back, it arouses them and

1824
01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:02,479
Speaker 11: make it makes their sexual insticts, you know, it just

1825
01:34:02,720 --> 01:34:05,559
Speaker 11: it just arouses them. And so my mom's way of

1826
01:34:05,560 --> 01:34:07,920
Speaker 11: petting it is how she pets a dog or a cat.

1827
01:34:08,040 --> 01:34:12,080
Speaker 11: She pets it on the back constantly, and I can

1828
01:34:12,320 --> 01:34:14,880
Speaker 11: I didn't know it in the beginning, and I somehow

1829
01:34:14,920 --> 01:34:18,519
Speaker 11: found out this through TikTok, and now oh, every time

1830
01:34:18,560 --> 01:34:19,960
Speaker 11: I just see it, and I don't know how to

1831
01:34:19,960 --> 01:34:22,640
Speaker 11: bring it up with my mom that she's arousing excuse me,

1832
01:34:22,640 --> 01:34:24,360
Speaker 11: and so that she's arousing it and she has been

1833
01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:28,240
Speaker 11: arousing it this whole time, So we'd advise how to

1834
01:34:28,240 --> 01:34:28,800
Speaker 11: approach that.

1835
01:34:29,960 --> 01:34:33,479
Speaker 2: I mean, after she does this to the bird, does

1836
01:34:33,520 --> 01:34:36,519
Speaker 2: it engage in any weird behavior? Does it humps?

1837
01:34:37,960 --> 01:34:38,240
Speaker 4: Okay?

1838
01:34:38,360 --> 01:34:41,439
Speaker 11: At first I thought it was just being cute. It

1839
01:34:41,520 --> 01:34:43,320
Speaker 11: was just getting excited and it was just being a

1840
01:34:43,360 --> 01:34:48,720
Speaker 11: lovey dovey. But now it's just it like like it

1841
01:34:48,800 --> 01:34:52,639
Speaker 11: looks too excited, Like when you know it might be aroused,

1842
01:34:52,640 --> 01:34:55,200
Speaker 11: You're like, oh, yeah, that's that's what an aroused bird

1843
01:34:55,280 --> 01:34:55,680
Speaker 11: looks like.

1844
01:34:56,400 --> 01:34:59,920
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen as the bird ever come and

1845
01:35:00,080 --> 01:35:00,599
Speaker 1: her hands?

1846
01:35:02,880 --> 01:35:05,280
Speaker 11: It's a girl, so I don't think it comes. But

1847
01:35:05,400 --> 01:35:06,799
Speaker 11: another awful thing.

1848
01:35:07,280 --> 01:35:10,519
Speaker 1: Could can girl bird? Do girl birds score it?

1849
01:35:13,600 --> 01:35:15,920
Speaker 11: I haven't seen it do that, but it does like

1850
01:35:16,560 --> 01:35:19,960
Speaker 11: cut its butt out like its feathers out, okay, hail,

1851
01:35:20,160 --> 01:35:22,880
Speaker 11: and it's like pokes a butt up like as up

1852
01:35:22,920 --> 01:35:26,640
Speaker 11: as it can. Okay, like take it kind away, you know,

1853
01:35:28,360 --> 01:35:31,439
Speaker 11: like oh taking it, yeah, go ahead.

1854
01:35:31,680 --> 01:35:33,360
Speaker 2: And as far as you can tell, your mom is

1855
01:35:33,400 --> 01:35:36,920
Speaker 2: completely clueless about this, like she doesn't that it's having

1856
01:35:36,920 --> 01:35:39,960
Speaker 2: this effect on bird. Is is your Is your mom

1857
01:35:40,160 --> 01:35:41,320
Speaker 2: up there in age or.

1858
01:35:43,479 --> 01:35:45,480
Speaker 11: She's about forty five.

1859
01:35:45,880 --> 01:35:48,200
Speaker 2: Okay, so she's not super old or anything like that.

1860
01:35:48,400 --> 01:35:52,679
Speaker 2: Do you is your mom? I mean, in the past,

1861
01:35:52,680 --> 01:35:55,320
Speaker 2: when you've had to approach your mom about maybe touch

1862
01:35:55,400 --> 01:35:59,600
Speaker 2: your weird subjects. Has has that historically gone? Well? Bad?

1863
01:36:00,160 --> 01:36:01,920
Speaker 2: Is your mom someone who typically feel like you can

1864
01:36:02,000 --> 01:36:03,400
Speaker 2: open up to and be honest with.

1865
01:36:04,760 --> 01:36:07,320
Speaker 11: That's the thing that I know we've never had like

1866
01:36:07,560 --> 01:36:11,160
Speaker 11: de talk, you know, like sexual topics. We're just never

1867
01:36:11,240 --> 01:36:15,160
Speaker 11: brought up. So that's it's awkward about it.

1868
01:36:15,200 --> 01:36:19,679
Speaker 1: Really, are you? Are you more concerned at this point

1869
01:36:19,720 --> 01:36:20,000
Speaker 1: for her?

1870
01:36:20,200 --> 01:36:21,200
Speaker 2: For the bird? Right?

1871
01:36:23,479 --> 01:36:23,920
Speaker 10: The bird?

1872
01:36:24,240 --> 01:36:27,519
Speaker 11: Definitely the bird, because it's getting just sexually frustrated. It's

1873
01:36:27,600 --> 01:36:30,559
Speaker 11: not you know, getting sucked or anything.

1874
01:36:30,560 --> 01:36:32,479
Speaker 13: It's just gonna you think you.

1875
01:36:32,400 --> 01:36:34,519
Speaker 2: Think your mom is bringing the bird some kind of frustration.

1876
01:36:35,880 --> 01:36:38,960
Speaker 11: Oh, definitely, I know it's frustration. That's what the you know,

1877
01:36:39,040 --> 01:36:43,640
Speaker 11: that's what the Internet and everything says, Okay, that you

1878
01:36:43,680 --> 01:36:46,519
Speaker 11: should not do that to your bird, probably frustrating it.

1879
01:36:47,360 --> 01:36:49,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. So so in a way, it's sort of like

1880
01:36:49,840 --> 01:36:52,880
Speaker 2: it's it's it's like an inadvertent kind of maybe animal

1881
01:36:52,880 --> 01:36:55,920
Speaker 2: abuse in a way or something. I don't know.

1882
01:36:56,720 --> 01:36:57,920
Speaker 1: That I got to say that.

1883
01:36:57,960 --> 01:37:02,280
Speaker 16: The way like a mistreatment, the way that you're have

1884
01:37:02,439 --> 01:37:05,000
Speaker 16: the fear that you have of this conversation, I feel

1885
01:37:05,000 --> 01:37:07,639
Speaker 16: like it's the fear of the conversation makes it sound

1886
01:37:07,720 --> 01:37:10,679
Speaker 16: like you think that you have to tell your mom

1887
01:37:10,880 --> 01:37:16,720
Speaker 16: that she has to fuck the bird, because if that.

1888
01:37:16,680 --> 01:37:19,280
Speaker 1: Were true, then that would be a tough conversation to have.

1889
01:37:19,400 --> 01:37:22,600
Speaker 1: But she totally doesn't. You could just let her know

1890
01:37:23,360 --> 01:37:28,400
Speaker 1: what's going on. There's no like, you know, there is.

1891
01:37:28,840 --> 01:37:31,800
Speaker 1: I feel like it's kinda it's for a pretty simple conversation.

1892
01:37:31,439 --> 01:37:34,160
Speaker 2: I mean in your room. Because obviously you've done some

1893
01:37:34,240 --> 01:37:36,600
Speaker 2: digging on this in your research. Have you seen that

1894
01:37:36,640 --> 01:37:40,599
Speaker 2: there's any harm that may come to the bird long

1895
01:37:40,720 --> 01:37:43,360
Speaker 2: term by way of just you know, petting its back or.

1896
01:37:45,520 --> 01:37:50,720
Speaker 11: Here's the awful thing. The bird recently has started to

1897
01:37:51,840 --> 01:37:52,839
Speaker 11: lay eggs.

1898
01:37:53,479 --> 01:37:57,560
Speaker 1: Okay, where where did you get those eggs from?

1899
01:37:58,240 --> 01:38:01,679
Speaker 11: We have no clue, Like three eggs by now, they're

1900
01:38:01,960 --> 01:38:02,920
Speaker 11: hollow inside.

1901
01:38:03,760 --> 01:38:09,720
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I mean, I'm I'm no zoologist, but like,

1902
01:38:10,600 --> 01:38:14,640
Speaker 2: isn't that something habitually all female birds engage in to

1903
01:38:14,720 --> 01:38:16,000
Speaker 2: some degree just laying?

1904
01:38:16,160 --> 01:38:17,479
Speaker 1: Do they do? They have to.

1905
01:38:19,600 --> 01:38:19,720
Speaker 2: Do?

1906
01:38:19,800 --> 01:38:21,719
Speaker 1: They have to have sex before they lay eggs.

1907
01:38:22,000 --> 01:38:23,680
Speaker 2: Usually they just fertilize it.

1908
01:38:24,320 --> 01:38:27,200
Speaker 11: That's what I thought. Apparently they don't. It's the bird.

1909
01:38:27,240 --> 01:38:29,280
Speaker 11: The egg is hollow, there's nothing inside. I guess it

1910
01:38:29,400 --> 01:38:31,599
Speaker 11: just has I guess female birds, we just have the

1911
01:38:31,640 --> 01:38:33,599
Speaker 11: shell naturally agains because.

1912
01:38:33,400 --> 01:38:35,280
Speaker 2: It's it's not been fertilized or anything like that. I don't.

1913
01:38:35,280 --> 01:38:40,040
Speaker 2: I don't think the bird is laying eggs because it's horny.

1914
01:38:40,080 --> 01:38:42,439
Speaker 11: Well, in my head, I'm thinking it's getting frustrated so

1915
01:38:42,560 --> 01:38:46,000
Speaker 11: often that it's like the body doesn't understand what it's doing,

1916
01:38:46,080 --> 01:38:48,200
Speaker 11: and it just that's why she laid the eggs and

1917
01:38:48,240 --> 01:38:48,920
Speaker 11: it's out naturally.

1918
01:38:49,000 --> 01:38:51,559
Speaker 1: Wait, so you're saying you think that the bird is

1919
01:38:51,680 --> 01:38:59,760
Speaker 1: so horny that she got pregnant without having sex, Like

1920
01:38:59,800 --> 01:39:04,679
Speaker 1: it's like a virgin mary bird was immaculated.

1921
01:39:04,840 --> 01:39:07,040
Speaker 2: You're afraid of one of these eggs cracking open and

1922
01:39:07,120 --> 01:39:10,560
Speaker 2: there is a bird fetus that looks like you inside.

1923
01:39:13,160 --> 01:39:16,920
Speaker 1: I am terrified of or it looks half bird half

1924
01:39:16,960 --> 01:39:17,439
Speaker 1: your father.

1925
01:39:17,800 --> 01:39:21,760
Speaker 11: Right, Oh gosh, I haven't even thought about that.

1926
01:39:26,439 --> 01:39:29,240
Speaker 2: I mean, okay, So, so what what do you feel

1927
01:39:29,280 --> 01:39:33,920
Speaker 2: like is the most ideal outcome here for everybody? I mean,

1928
01:39:33,920 --> 01:39:35,840
Speaker 2: I get I guess, like, let's do you feel like

1929
01:39:35,880 --> 01:39:38,000
Speaker 2: your mom is doing any kind of like damage to

1930
01:39:38,040 --> 01:39:41,400
Speaker 2: the bird. Do you feel like your mom is doing

1931
01:39:41,479 --> 01:39:43,519
Speaker 2: anything inherently wrong here? Or do you feel like a

1932
01:39:43,560 --> 01:39:45,960
Speaker 2: lot of the oddita around this is mostly just around

1933
01:39:46,000 --> 01:39:50,639
Speaker 2: you feeling uncomfortable around around around this information. It feels

1934
01:39:50,680 --> 01:39:53,120
Speaker 2: almost like kind of eve biting the apple kind of moment,

1935
01:39:53,160 --> 01:39:56,240
Speaker 2: like if only you never stumbled upon this piece of information,

1936
01:39:56,280 --> 01:39:58,000
Speaker 2: you could have completely shut it off from your mind

1937
01:39:58,000 --> 01:39:59,599
Speaker 2: and then thought like, oh, that's just my mom petting

1938
01:39:59,640 --> 01:40:01,439
Speaker 2: a bird. But now you know it has like some

1939
01:40:01,560 --> 01:40:04,920
Speaker 2: kind of like weird link to sexual arousal within the bird,

1940
01:40:04,960 --> 01:40:06,679
Speaker 2: so that you can't get that out of your mind. Now.

1941
01:40:09,840 --> 01:40:13,679
Speaker 11: Well, sure, I mean if I just think, I think

1942
01:40:13,680 --> 01:40:16,280
Speaker 11: it's awful that the bird is constantly frustrated, but it's

1943
01:40:16,040 --> 01:40:18,640
Speaker 11: just like you don't think, so it's like it's all

1944
01:40:18,680 --> 01:40:21,360
Speaker 11: in my head, That's what I'm I guess I'm just.

1945
01:40:21,320 --> 01:40:23,680
Speaker 2: Sort of wondering, like, you know, you could see that

1946
01:40:23,720 --> 01:40:27,000
Speaker 2: the bird is. I guess here's the thing. If you

1947
01:40:27,080 --> 01:40:29,920
Speaker 2: feel genuinely in your research and from what you're observing,

1948
01:40:29,920 --> 01:40:31,960
Speaker 2: because I don't see the bird, I can't tell you

1949
01:40:31,760 --> 01:40:35,080
Speaker 2: if you feel like in what you're observing and in

1950
01:40:35,160 --> 01:40:38,679
Speaker 2: what you've looked up about you know birds in this fashion,

1951
01:40:39,479 --> 01:40:41,640
Speaker 2: If you feel like what your mom is engaging and

1952
01:40:41,720 --> 01:40:44,040
Speaker 2: is doing a disservice to the bird or making it frustrated,

1953
01:40:44,200 --> 01:40:45,600
Speaker 2: or hurting it in some way. It doesn't have to

1954
01:40:45,640 --> 01:40:47,800
Speaker 2: necessarily be physical pain like I'm punching you. You know,

1955
01:40:47,800 --> 01:40:50,920
Speaker 2: if you feel like your mom is genuinely hurting the

1956
01:40:50,920 --> 01:40:52,920
Speaker 2: bird in some way by petting it in that fashion,

1957
01:40:53,520 --> 01:40:55,240
Speaker 2: I think you should just be honest about it. You

1958
01:40:55,400 --> 01:40:57,360
Speaker 2: just be like, hey, listen, the way you're touching the

1959
01:40:57,400 --> 01:41:00,840
Speaker 2: bird is in my you know, I look this up.

1960
01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:03,120
Speaker 2: You can look at it here. It's making the bird

1961
01:41:03,200 --> 01:41:05,639
Speaker 2: sexually frustrated, which may not be good for the bird

1962
01:41:05,680 --> 01:41:08,080
Speaker 2: for reasons X Y Z. If you want to touch

1963
01:41:08,120 --> 01:41:09,160
Speaker 2: the bird, or you want to have some kind of

1964
01:41:09,160 --> 01:41:11,600
Speaker 2: physical contact with the bird, maybe just pet it on

1965
01:41:11,600 --> 01:41:14,479
Speaker 2: the face maybe, I don't know, just like touch its

1966
01:41:14,479 --> 01:41:16,479
Speaker 2: talons a little bit, Maybe feed a pena. I don't

1967
01:41:16,520 --> 01:41:17,720
Speaker 2: know what the hell you do, but you know, there

1968
01:41:17,720 --> 01:41:19,800
Speaker 2: are other ways to engage with the bird that don't

1969
01:41:19,840 --> 01:41:23,080
Speaker 2: involve running your hand along its back and sexually frustrating it.

1970
01:41:23,520 --> 01:41:25,479
Speaker 2: Just maybe just do some other things. You know, it

1971
01:41:25,920 --> 01:41:27,640
Speaker 2: could be bad for the bird or maybe not the

1972
01:41:27,640 --> 01:41:30,680
Speaker 2: best for you know, for its just general mood and

1973
01:41:30,720 --> 01:41:33,320
Speaker 2: well being. I feel like, you know, all you can

1974
01:41:33,360 --> 01:41:35,160
Speaker 2: really do in those situations is just be open and

1975
01:41:35,200 --> 01:41:37,240
Speaker 2: honest about what you found and what you understand. You know,

1976
01:41:37,280 --> 01:41:40,760
Speaker 2: it's upon the other person to take that information and

1977
01:41:41,520 --> 01:41:43,320
Speaker 2: actually change their behavior based on it.

1978
01:41:44,600 --> 01:41:48,000
Speaker 1: Those are a really adult explanation of Yeah.

1979
01:41:48,000 --> 01:41:50,320
Speaker 2: I mean, if you've done that, you can at least

1980
01:41:50,360 --> 01:41:52,960
Speaker 2: clear from your mind that, like, well, I told her,

1981
01:41:53,320 --> 01:41:55,519
Speaker 2: and if she chooses not to change her behavior past

1982
01:41:55,560 --> 01:41:57,719
Speaker 2: this point, that's on her. You know. At this point,

1983
01:41:57,720 --> 01:41:59,479
Speaker 2: it just seems like you have this information inside you

1984
01:41:59,520 --> 01:42:02,400
Speaker 2: and it's itch and you should probably just get it

1985
01:42:02,439 --> 01:42:04,479
Speaker 2: out because you know it and you feel like your

1986
01:42:04,520 --> 01:42:07,840
Speaker 2: mom should know it, and you know, again, at least

1987
01:42:07,880 --> 01:42:09,880
Speaker 2: from there you can wash from your mind. Well, I've

1988
01:42:09,920 --> 01:42:12,439
Speaker 2: done my part. I've been clear with her about what's

1989
01:42:12,479 --> 01:42:16,519
Speaker 2: going on, and if she ignores that information, then that's

1990
01:42:16,520 --> 01:42:16,880
Speaker 2: on her.

1991
01:42:17,080 --> 01:42:20,280
Speaker 1: You know, what do you think about all of this.

1992
01:42:20,280 --> 01:42:27,240
Speaker 11: Is, Lana, I think that's a very well put together

1993
01:42:27,800 --> 01:42:29,840
Speaker 11: I just I guess I couldn't find the words, and

1994
01:42:29,920 --> 01:42:32,120
Speaker 11: you just kind of found them and put them together

1995
01:42:32,120 --> 01:42:35,000
Speaker 11: in an order that I would like to present them

1996
01:42:35,080 --> 01:42:37,840
Speaker 11: to her. And I guess my biggest concern now you

1997
01:42:38,000 --> 01:42:40,200
Speaker 11: went to bring it up, just wait until she does

1998
01:42:40,200 --> 01:42:45,360
Speaker 11: it again to be like, hey, Mom, actually I get

1999
01:42:46,160 --> 01:42:47,880
Speaker 11: just the thought of it makes me so uncomfortable.

2000
01:42:48,400 --> 01:42:51,240
Speaker 1: When's when's the next time to bring it up to her?

2001
01:42:51,320 --> 01:42:52,040
Speaker 1: Is that what you're asking?

2002
01:42:53,320 --> 01:42:54,840
Speaker 11: Yeah, I guess yes.

2003
01:42:54,720 --> 01:42:56,559
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll tell you this much. I don't know when

2004
01:42:56,560 --> 01:42:59,679
Speaker 1: the right time is, but the wrong time is while

2005
01:42:59,720 --> 01:43:00,880
Speaker 1: she's petting the bird.

2006
01:43:02,400 --> 01:43:05,240
Speaker 2: Probably. Yeah. And also just to sort of do a

2007
01:43:05,280 --> 01:43:09,000
Speaker 2: little thought experiment here and maybe kind of illustrate what

2008
01:43:09,120 --> 01:43:11,760
Speaker 2: is the basis for your fear here? What do you

2009
01:43:11,800 --> 01:43:15,840
Speaker 2: feel like is the worst case scenario? Say you told

2010
01:43:15,880 --> 01:43:17,439
Speaker 2: your mom everything that I just told you in the

2011
01:43:17,479 --> 01:43:19,719
Speaker 2: way that I put it as clearly as you possibly could.

2012
01:43:20,120 --> 01:43:21,680
Speaker 2: What what do you feel like is the worst thing

2013
01:43:21,720 --> 01:43:22,240
Speaker 2: that could happen?

2014
01:43:23,840 --> 01:43:26,639
Speaker 11: To be honest, I'm not even scared about the outcome

2015
01:43:26,720 --> 01:43:29,800
Speaker 11: as much as I'm scared about how uncomfortable it's going

2016
01:43:29,840 --> 01:43:30,080
Speaker 11: to be.

2017
01:43:31,280 --> 01:43:34,800
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean, well, you know this could just be

2018
01:43:34,920 --> 01:43:38,559
Speaker 2: a moment of practice for you to to kind of

2019
01:43:38,560 --> 01:43:40,880
Speaker 2: break that fear a little bit, because you know there's

2020
01:43:40,880 --> 01:43:42,439
Speaker 2: going to be lots of moments in your life where

2021
01:43:42,479 --> 01:43:44,960
Speaker 2: you are going to have to tell people's stuff that

2022
01:43:45,000 --> 01:43:47,200
Speaker 2: they may not want to hear. That you may not

2023
01:43:47,280 --> 01:43:51,599
Speaker 2: necessarily be comfortable sharing or being vulnerable or honest about

2024
01:43:51,640 --> 01:43:54,000
Speaker 2: in a certain situation, but we all have to we

2025
01:43:54,160 --> 01:43:56,920
Speaker 2: have to face those situations down because you know, believe me,

2026
01:43:56,960 --> 01:43:59,720
Speaker 2: you're going to find yourself in positions where you're going

2027
01:43:59,800 --> 01:44:01,599
Speaker 2: to have hesitation to do that and the steaks are

2028
01:44:01,640 --> 01:44:03,720
Speaker 2: going to be way higher than your mom petting a

2029
01:44:03,760 --> 01:44:04,320
Speaker 2: horny bird.

2030
01:44:04,439 --> 01:44:05,400
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you know.

2031
01:44:05,680 --> 01:44:08,639
Speaker 2: So you know, take take this as sort of like,

2032
01:44:09,040 --> 01:44:12,800
Speaker 2: you know, a test run, because honestly, there's there's not

2033
01:44:12,920 --> 01:44:14,760
Speaker 2: much wrong that could happen in the mom petting a

2034
01:44:14,800 --> 01:44:17,439
Speaker 2: horny bird scenario. There are much worse things that could

2035
01:44:17,479 --> 01:44:19,400
Speaker 2: happen in the scenario where you're afraid to come forward

2036
01:44:19,439 --> 01:44:23,880
Speaker 2: with information where maybe lives are at stake, or maybe

2037
01:44:24,000 --> 01:44:26,800
Speaker 2: someone's livelihood or well being is at stake. So I mean,

2038
01:44:26,840 --> 01:44:28,719
Speaker 2: you know, push through this, so maybe you can push

2039
01:44:28,720 --> 01:44:31,920
Speaker 2: through something you know, a bit more high stakes down

2040
01:44:31,960 --> 01:44:32,280
Speaker 2: the road.

2041
01:44:32,800 --> 01:44:34,200
Speaker 1: Ella, is there anything else you want to say to

2042
01:44:34,240 --> 01:44:35,439
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?

2043
01:44:37,600 --> 01:44:41,759
Speaker 11: It's thank you as ever lovely makes Nate thank you.

2044
01:44:41,760 --> 01:44:45,560
Speaker 1: You know, it would suck to be that bird. Like

2045
01:44:45,680 --> 01:44:49,600
Speaker 1: imagine if anyone just lightly touching you got you insatiably

2046
01:44:49,920 --> 01:44:50,760
Speaker 1: horny like that.

2047
01:44:51,880 --> 01:44:54,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it would depend on your vibe. Some people like edging.

2048
01:44:55,000 --> 01:44:57,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what her mom is doing. She's edging.

2049
01:44:57,840 --> 01:44:58,879
Speaker 2: I'm not self reporting.

2050
01:45:00,320 --> 01:45:02,960
Speaker 1: Well, you know, how often do you jack off?

2051
01:45:06,720 --> 01:45:08,720
Speaker 2: I used to jack off way more often I would.

2052
01:45:08,760 --> 01:45:10,680
Speaker 2: I would say a healthy amount, you know, like you know.

2053
01:45:10,920 --> 01:45:13,679
Speaker 1: It's a healthy daily. Daily, daily is a healthy amount.

2054
01:45:13,720 --> 01:45:16,840
Speaker 2: I think. I think daily, if you're doing like maybe uh,

2055
01:45:16,840 --> 01:45:20,000
Speaker 2: four to five times a day, that's okay, you're just

2056
01:45:20,000 --> 01:45:21,000
Speaker 2: eating up too much time.

2057
01:45:21,479 --> 01:45:22,160
Speaker 1: I thought daily.

2058
01:45:22,280 --> 01:45:22,479
Speaker 2: Guy.

2059
01:45:22,720 --> 01:45:24,559
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll talk to guys and they'll be like three

2060
01:45:24,560 --> 01:45:26,479
Speaker 1: times a week, and I'll be like, three times a week.

2061
01:45:26,640 --> 01:45:27,240
Speaker 2: That's too little.

2062
01:45:27,280 --> 01:45:30,680
Speaker 1: It's too little. Yeah, okay, all right, I feel validated.

2063
01:45:31,080 --> 01:45:35,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think daily is fine, especially just for bed.

2064
01:45:35,640 --> 01:45:36,679
Speaker 2: Just knock out, go to sleep.

2065
01:45:37,520 --> 01:45:40,439
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's a weird thing. It's uncomfortable for

2066
01:45:40,560 --> 01:45:44,840
Speaker 1: Ella to talk to not Lana, to talk to her

2067
01:45:44,880 --> 01:45:49,840
Speaker 1: mom about bird sex. But yet it's weird with talking

2068
01:45:49,840 --> 01:45:52,880
Speaker 1: to your parents about sex. It's like, that's how your

2069
01:45:52,960 --> 01:45:55,000
Speaker 1: relationship with your parents.

2070
01:45:54,760 --> 01:45:55,559
Speaker 2: That's how you exist.

2071
01:45:55,640 --> 01:46:00,400
Speaker 1: You is is how you exist as sex. But I

2072
01:46:00,439 --> 01:46:04,760
Speaker 1: guess you're Her relationship with her mom has nothing to

2073
01:46:04,760 --> 01:46:08,120
Speaker 1: do at all with bird sex until this bird sex

2074
01:46:08,160 --> 01:46:12,479
Speaker 1: thing came along. Right, Let's take another call.

2075
01:46:12,840 --> 01:46:13,880
Speaker 2: Sounds good?

2076
01:46:14,400 --> 01:46:17,559
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, what's up?

2077
01:46:18,040 --> 01:46:18,719
Speaker 13: This is happening.

2078
01:46:19,240 --> 01:46:22,160
Speaker 1: Cool, it's happening. It's happening, It's always happening.

2079
01:46:22,200 --> 01:46:25,760
Speaker 2: This is happening The LCD sound System album.

2080
01:46:25,920 --> 01:46:29,559
Speaker 4: All right, everything, everything is happening. Is the moment is now?

2081
01:46:30,280 --> 01:46:31,400
Speaker 4: This is the moment we're living in.

2082
01:46:31,640 --> 01:46:38,360
Speaker 2: I am Eric, Hi, Eric, Hi, Erick? All right? Do it?

2083
01:46:38,479 --> 01:46:39,360
Speaker 4: Just like, do this thing?

2084
01:46:39,840 --> 01:46:41,160
Speaker 5: Tell you do the thing.

2085
01:46:41,240 --> 01:46:44,840
Speaker 2: What's your problem? Eric, what's the problem?

2086
01:46:45,040 --> 01:46:45,479
Speaker 7: All right?

2087
01:46:47,760 --> 01:46:52,800
Speaker 4: I seem to have a problem with joining cults. So

2088
01:46:52,880 --> 01:46:54,719
Speaker 4: to set this up a little bit, I'm a pretty

2089
01:46:54,760 --> 01:46:59,439
Speaker 4: religious person. I've recently tried to explore my faith a

2090
01:46:59,479 --> 01:47:03,320
Speaker 4: little bit because I feel like a lot of people

2091
01:47:03,320 --> 01:47:05,479
Speaker 4: they're a part of a church because their family was

2092
01:47:05,479 --> 01:47:08,080
Speaker 4: a part of a church, you know, And that was

2093
01:47:08,120 --> 01:47:13,280
Speaker 4: what I was like. And now I'm starting to go

2094
01:47:13,400 --> 01:47:15,759
Speaker 4: in with it and like, what do I believe?

2095
01:47:16,000 --> 01:47:16,120
Speaker 7: Like?

2096
01:47:16,160 --> 01:47:19,240
Speaker 4: What am I trying to understand here with this community?

2097
01:47:20,160 --> 01:47:23,960
Speaker 4: So I've been trying to reach out to these different

2098
01:47:24,600 --> 01:47:29,120
Speaker 4: organizations that seem to be what I'm looking for, organizations

2099
01:47:29,120 --> 01:47:33,320
Speaker 4: where they they say that here's this community of like

2100
01:47:33,360 --> 01:47:36,639
Speaker 4: minded individuals who are all trying to explore and understand

2101
01:47:36,640 --> 01:47:38,040
Speaker 4: their faith in.

2102
01:47:38,360 --> 01:47:40,120
Speaker 5: A way that is really good.

2103
01:47:42,720 --> 01:47:45,240
Speaker 4: Now, the first organization like this I came across was

2104
01:47:45,320 --> 01:47:49,639
Speaker 4: Jehovah's Witnesses. If you know anything about them, they were

2105
01:47:49,760 --> 01:47:53,280
Speaker 4: They set up a table at my old college and

2106
01:47:53,479 --> 01:47:56,719
Speaker 4: they have like a little pamphlet that said, what questions

2107
01:47:56,720 --> 01:47:58,519
Speaker 4: about God do you have? I'm like, oh, I have

2108
01:47:58,600 --> 01:48:03,240
Speaker 4: questions about God. I took their pamphlet and I'm like, Wow,

2109
01:48:03,280 --> 01:48:05,400
Speaker 4: this is really interesting. Maybe I should look into joining

2110
01:48:05,400 --> 01:48:11,240
Speaker 4: these Jehovah's Witnesses, you know. And then I talked to

2111
01:48:11,280 --> 01:48:12,920
Speaker 4: my family and like, hey, do you guys know about

2112
01:48:12,920 --> 01:48:16,080
Speaker 4: the Jehovah's Witnesses And They're like, oh, yeah, there are cults.

2113
01:48:16,080 --> 01:48:20,759
Speaker 4: And I'm like what, No, because I didn't know anything

2114
01:48:20,760 --> 01:48:24,920
Speaker 4: about them. So I did my own research. I looked

2115
01:48:24,920 --> 01:48:27,320
Speaker 4: them up and I'm like, oh, yeah, these are some

2116
01:48:27,880 --> 01:48:29,839
Speaker 4: quirky guys.

2117
01:48:31,120 --> 01:48:31,920
Speaker 7: So I got a little.

2118
01:48:31,760 --> 01:48:36,240
Speaker 4: Disappointed that the organization or club or whatever that I

2119
01:48:36,240 --> 01:48:39,960
Speaker 4: wanted to join was really controlling and they actually didn't

2120
01:48:40,720 --> 01:48:43,200
Speaker 4: believe in the things that I believed or wanted to

2121
01:48:43,200 --> 01:48:46,720
Speaker 4: actually explore the things that I wanted to explore. And

2122
01:48:46,760 --> 01:48:49,800
Speaker 4: then I met another organization at a different colleges is

2123
01:48:49,840 --> 01:48:52,839
Speaker 4: like a few years later, and they were also tabling

2124
01:48:53,320 --> 01:48:59,559
Speaker 4: at my college. I went up to them and then

2125
01:48:59,600 --> 01:49:01,880
Speaker 4: they were all also handing out flyers and basically we

2126
01:49:01,920 --> 01:49:04,080
Speaker 4: have this event going on and I'm like, oh, that's perfect.

2127
01:49:04,560 --> 01:49:07,800
Speaker 4: And they were exploring the Book of Exodus and I'm like, hell, yeah,

2128
01:49:08,400 --> 01:49:11,680
Speaker 4: that sounds awesome. So I take their little pample and

2129
01:49:11,680 --> 01:49:13,120
Speaker 4: I read through it and I'm like, whoa, this sounds

2130
01:49:13,240 --> 01:49:15,400
Speaker 4: exactly what I want, like a bunch of like minded

2131
01:49:15,400 --> 01:49:17,960
Speaker 4: individuals coming together and trying to explore and understand the

2132
01:49:18,000 --> 01:49:21,360
Speaker 4: faith in a good way. So I go to their

2133
01:49:21,400 --> 01:49:34,960
Speaker 4: meeting and oh boy. I didn't want to label them

2134
01:49:34,960 --> 01:49:37,320
Speaker 4: as a cult at that point. I just wanted to say, hey,

2135
01:49:37,360 --> 01:49:41,760
Speaker 4: maybe they're just charismatic and people are just you know,

2136
01:49:41,800 --> 01:49:46,600
Speaker 4: weird college students. So I'm like, okay. I went to

2137
01:49:46,680 --> 01:49:50,479
Speaker 4: the meeting saying worship and listened to their sermon and

2138
01:49:50,479 --> 01:49:52,600
Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, I got some weird vibes out of

2139
01:49:52,600 --> 01:49:54,400
Speaker 4: these guys, but you know what, I think I'm gonna

2140
01:49:54,520 --> 01:49:57,720
Speaker 4: give them a shot. But I would like to talk

2141
01:49:57,760 --> 01:50:00,920
Speaker 4: to people before I go and anything serious. So I

2142
01:50:00,920 --> 01:50:02,080
Speaker 4: talked to my friends and like, hey, do you guys

2143
01:50:02,120 --> 01:50:05,040
Speaker 4: know anything about this organization? Literally the first thing to

2144
01:50:05,160 --> 01:50:07,360
Speaker 4: say is, oh, yeah, that's a cult, and I'm like

2145
01:50:07,479 --> 01:50:11,679
Speaker 4: what no. So I go ahead and a look online

2146
01:50:11,760 --> 01:50:15,800
Speaker 4: and start some red flags come up, like a student

2147
01:50:15,880 --> 01:50:19,800
Speaker 4: organization isn't actually connected to anything nationwise. So I'm like, well,

2148
01:50:19,800 --> 01:50:22,000
Speaker 4: that's interesting. Usually it's connected to a church and they

2149
01:50:22,000 --> 01:50:23,880
Speaker 4: have a big network or whatever. And I dig and

2150
01:50:23,920 --> 01:50:27,400
Speaker 4: I dig and I dig. It turns out it's part

2151
01:50:27,400 --> 01:50:33,200
Speaker 4: of this Chinese minister who came over with the express

2152
01:50:33,240 --> 01:50:36,599
Speaker 4: idea of creating a group of people who only listened

2153
01:50:36,800 --> 01:50:39,040
Speaker 4: to his message, and he has his own translation of

2154
01:50:39,120 --> 01:50:42,760
Speaker 4: the Bible and all these things that I'm like, oh,

2155
01:50:42,840 --> 01:50:45,760
Speaker 4: this is super sketchy and made me really sad. Then

2156
01:50:45,800 --> 01:50:48,760
Speaker 4: there was another table at the same college literally like

2157
01:50:48,800 --> 01:50:52,599
Speaker 4: a week later, which basically had a thing that said

2158
01:50:53,120 --> 01:50:55,320
Speaker 4: ask me questions about the Bible. And I'm like, oh,

2159
01:50:55,320 --> 01:50:57,160
Speaker 4: hell yeah. So I go up and I have this

2160
01:50:57,240 --> 01:51:00,600
Speaker 4: like nice conversation for like thirty forty fifty minutes or

2161
01:51:00,600 --> 01:51:03,160
Speaker 4: something like that. I think I got a lot out

2162
01:51:03,160 --> 01:51:07,160
Speaker 4: of that, and the guy said you should really join

2163
01:51:07,320 --> 01:51:09,800
Speaker 4: our Bible study. I'm like, all right, Sure, and they

2164
01:51:09,800 --> 01:51:12,040
Speaker 4: gave me a pamphlet thing. I'm like, all right, cool,

2165
01:51:12,080 --> 01:51:14,800
Speaker 4: I'll look into you guys. And I talked to my

2166
01:51:14,800 --> 01:51:18,960
Speaker 4: friends again and like, yeah, those guys are also a cult.

2167
01:51:19,040 --> 01:51:19,479
Speaker 17: And I'm like.

2168
01:51:22,000 --> 01:51:25,160
Speaker 4: And now at this point, I'm getting really discouraged because

2169
01:51:25,720 --> 01:51:27,880
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm being honest, Like I want to

2170
01:51:27,920 --> 01:51:31,160
Speaker 4: pursue these things that I find really interesting and I

2171
01:51:31,200 --> 01:51:33,600
Speaker 4: want to dive deeper into to have a better relationship

2172
01:51:33,640 --> 01:51:36,880
Speaker 4: with God, you know, and also the people around me.

2173
01:51:37,560 --> 01:51:39,120
Speaker 4: But every time I try.

2174
01:51:38,920 --> 01:51:42,920
Speaker 2: And do that, it's a cult. Okay, Okay, all right.

2175
01:51:43,040 --> 01:51:46,439
Speaker 2: Now I have a bunch of questions. I think we

2176
01:51:46,520 --> 01:51:48,719
Speaker 2: can get to a nice answer and a nice medium

2177
01:51:48,760 --> 01:51:50,920
Speaker 2: for you. But I have a bunch of questions and

2178
01:51:50,960 --> 01:51:53,000
Speaker 2: I need you to answer them as straightforwardly as possible.

2179
01:51:53,920 --> 01:51:57,400
Speaker 2: One I will do my best. Now, would you consider yourself,

2180
01:51:57,680 --> 01:51:59,559
Speaker 2: you know, like a spiritual and religious person.

2181
01:52:01,320 --> 01:52:04,040
Speaker 4: I would consider myself religious, yes, Okay.

2182
01:52:04,560 --> 01:52:06,839
Speaker 2: Now you say you have a bit of a religious background.

2183
01:52:07,000 --> 01:52:10,760
Speaker 2: What kind of church or denomination did you grow up

2184
01:52:10,760 --> 01:52:12,160
Speaker 2: in with with your family?

2185
01:52:15,479 --> 01:52:18,519
Speaker 4: If you know anything about the Christian I think it

2186
01:52:18,560 --> 01:52:24,320
Speaker 4: was technically considered non denominational Protestant. Okay, that was kind

2187
01:52:24,360 --> 01:52:27,800
Speaker 4: of the background, if you know anything about like the

2188
01:52:27,840 --> 01:52:31,919
Speaker 4: different big Christian organizations. I think it was Crazy Assembly

2189
01:52:32,000 --> 01:52:32,680
Speaker 4: was one of them, and.

2190
01:52:34,840 --> 01:52:36,479
Speaker 2: I know a little bit. But I guess what I

2191
01:52:36,479 --> 01:52:39,559
Speaker 2: want to ask you is, what personally do you feel

2192
01:52:39,560 --> 01:52:42,280
Speaker 2: like is wrong with just continuing to explore religion through

2193
01:52:43,080 --> 01:52:45,280
Speaker 2: a church and an organization that your family is already

2194
01:52:45,280 --> 01:52:47,120
Speaker 2: connected to, her that you're familiar with. Is there something

2195
01:52:47,160 --> 01:52:49,160
Speaker 2: that you feel like the Protestant Church or that church

2196
01:52:49,200 --> 01:52:54,040
Speaker 2: in general is lacking that that you are seeking in

2197
01:52:54,080 --> 01:52:56,480
Speaker 2: your you know, religious exploration.

2198
01:52:56,560 --> 01:53:00,599
Speaker 5: Here's the thing.

2199
01:53:00,720 --> 01:53:05,040
Speaker 4: I've moved away from my family unfortunately, both my parents

2200
01:53:05,800 --> 01:53:10,480
Speaker 4: died and my brothers aren't religious themselves, like they've expressly

2201
01:53:11,280 --> 01:53:13,800
Speaker 4: moved away from it. So I'm basically on my own.

2202
01:53:15,840 --> 01:53:18,599
Speaker 2: There's there's lots of there's lots of more much more

2203
01:53:20,360 --> 01:53:26,720
Speaker 2: mainstream denominations of Christianity, be they Protestant, be they Methodist,

2204
01:53:27,080 --> 01:53:32,840
Speaker 2: be they Catholic, that you that you're free to sort

2205
01:53:32,840 --> 01:53:35,920
Speaker 2: of explore because they're they're more of a safe Baptist

2206
01:53:36,000 --> 01:53:38,479
Speaker 2: be because they are more of a safe zone because

2207
01:53:38,479 --> 01:53:43,320
Speaker 2: they're they're you know, obviously, any organization in any sort

2208
01:53:43,360 --> 01:53:45,439
Speaker 2: of like religious group, as you sort of found with

2209
01:53:45,439 --> 01:53:48,040
Speaker 2: that one club can have you know their issues and

2210
01:53:48,080 --> 01:53:49,960
Speaker 2: their problems, and it'll be upon you to sort of

2211
01:53:49,960 --> 01:53:52,439
Speaker 2: like sniff that out when you're there. But you know,

2212
01:53:52,560 --> 01:53:55,160
Speaker 2: it seems like you're through these tables, which my other

2213
01:53:55,200 --> 01:53:56,839
Speaker 2: recommendation is avoid any.

2214
01:53:56,640 --> 01:54:00,760
Speaker 1: Table, Avoid anywhere they're tables, give ahowing.

2215
01:54:00,479 --> 01:54:05,200
Speaker 2: People trying to get you to join something. Avoid that,

2216
01:54:05,360 --> 01:54:08,080
Speaker 2: Avoid any tape. Maybe it's maybe it's people with a

2217
01:54:08,120 --> 01:54:10,800
Speaker 2: religious group, maybe it's a military organization. Avoid it.

2218
01:54:11,000 --> 01:54:13,519
Speaker 1: He man, if you if you want, pull out, if

2219
01:54:13,560 --> 01:54:16,960
Speaker 1: you want, you can. You can come be Jewish that

2220
01:54:17,040 --> 01:54:19,960
Speaker 1: as well. You know, what's is I've always respected is

2221
01:54:20,040 --> 01:54:22,240
Speaker 1: that we're never trying to get other people to enjoy it.

2222
01:54:23,200 --> 01:54:23,599
Speaker 1: I can't.

2223
01:54:23,760 --> 01:54:24,719
Speaker 4: I still got my foreskin.

2224
01:54:24,800 --> 01:54:28,679
Speaker 1: I can't have that forest skin. Well listen, man, they

2225
01:54:28,840 --> 01:54:31,680
Speaker 1: they're still cutting off four skins if you want to

2226
01:54:31,720 --> 01:54:35,960
Speaker 1: show your devotion to the cause, whatever the hell that

2227
01:54:36,080 --> 01:54:39,080
Speaker 1: cause is, and they got mine. I don't even know

2228
01:54:39,080 --> 01:54:40,080
Speaker 1: what I gave it up for.

2229
01:54:40,240 --> 01:54:42,480
Speaker 2: I mean lyle brings up a good point. I mean,

2230
01:54:42,520 --> 01:54:46,480
Speaker 2: maybe there's a cause in exploring other religious or other

2231
01:54:46,520 --> 01:54:50,680
Speaker 2: religions entirely. But I mean, again, if if we're speaking

2232
01:54:50,880 --> 01:54:55,640
Speaker 2: strictly sort of like a Christian denomination. Here again, avoid tables,

2233
01:54:56,200 --> 01:55:00,200
Speaker 2: avoid any people pamphleting you generally. I think that's a

2234
01:55:00,200 --> 01:55:03,680
Speaker 2: bit of a red flag. Honestly, it feels like you

2235
01:55:03,720 --> 01:55:06,240
Speaker 2: don't necessarily have the problem here that you pose to

2236
01:55:06,280 --> 01:55:09,360
Speaker 2: begin with, because in each of these instances, you didn't

2237
01:55:09,400 --> 01:55:11,960
Speaker 2: join these cults. You know, they they talk to you

2238
01:55:12,600 --> 01:55:14,640
Speaker 2: and they cause they started a bit of interest in you.

2239
01:55:14,720 --> 01:55:18,080
Speaker 2: But then you did some research, which people joining cults

2240
01:55:18,160 --> 01:55:21,160
Speaker 2: often skip that step. Yeah, that's that's kind of the

2241
01:55:21,200 --> 01:55:25,000
Speaker 2: pivotal skipped step when someone when someone joins a cult,

2242
01:55:25,240 --> 01:55:28,680
Speaker 2: they don't often google it to go find out more

2243
01:55:29,160 --> 01:55:35,200
Speaker 2: about the cult. They just join and you know, uh, okay,

2244
01:55:35,200 --> 01:55:37,800
Speaker 2: I guess here's my last question, Like, what do you

2245
01:55:37,840 --> 01:55:43,480
Speaker 2: feel like is your main drive for being? Obviously you

2246
01:55:43,480 --> 01:55:45,640
Speaker 2: didn't join any of these cults, but maybe you're a

2247
01:55:45,640 --> 01:55:48,160
Speaker 2: little worried because in a way, because you're seeing this pattern,

2248
01:55:48,200 --> 01:55:50,880
Speaker 2: you feel maybe a little susceptible. What what do you

2249
01:55:50,880 --> 01:55:54,800
Speaker 2: feel like is that void that you're trying to fill

2250
01:55:55,120 --> 01:55:58,480
Speaker 2: by you know, I guess humoring these interactions. Are you

2251
01:55:58,520 --> 01:56:01,240
Speaker 2: looking for some kind of community? Are you missing a

2252
01:56:01,240 --> 01:56:04,080
Speaker 2: community aspect from your life? Or do you genuinely feel

2253
01:56:04,080 --> 01:56:07,640
Speaker 2: like there are aspects to your religion and your spirituality

2254
01:56:07,960 --> 01:56:10,160
Speaker 2: that you don't understand, and you are looking for some

2255
01:56:10,320 --> 01:56:16,880
Speaker 2: kind of guidance on through a reputable religious institution or

2256
01:56:16,920 --> 01:56:17,480
Speaker 2: is it both?

2257
01:56:20,640 --> 01:56:21,000
Speaker 1: All right?

2258
01:56:21,200 --> 01:56:22,680
Speaker 17: Uh?

2259
01:56:23,520 --> 01:56:25,360
Speaker 4: I have to say it's not so much of the

2260
01:56:25,400 --> 01:56:30,560
Speaker 4: community aspect anymore, because your recommendation basically was to get

2261
01:56:30,560 --> 01:56:35,440
Speaker 4: plugged into a more legitimate church organization, not something There

2262
01:56:35,480 --> 01:56:36,080
Speaker 4: are lots.

2263
01:56:35,840 --> 01:56:38,560
Speaker 2: Of churches across the country, and who would love to

2264
01:56:38,600 --> 01:56:39,920
Speaker 2: have you, would love to have you.

2265
01:56:39,960 --> 01:56:44,560
Speaker 1: And the thing that I'm like, what is what are

2266
01:56:44,560 --> 01:56:47,400
Speaker 1: you looking for? That's what I'm because you said you

2267
01:56:47,800 --> 01:56:50,920
Speaker 1: said you're not looking for a community, because I think

2268
01:56:51,080 --> 01:56:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get down to the bottom of what

2269
01:56:53,880 --> 01:56:54,960
Speaker 1: you already have a community, and.

2270
01:56:54,920 --> 01:56:56,720
Speaker 2: It sounds like he's looking for spiritual guidance.

2271
01:56:59,040 --> 01:57:01,240
Speaker 1: Can I ask you this? Then I'm all right. So

2272
01:57:01,280 --> 01:57:03,919
Speaker 1: if you have a community and you're looking for spiritual guidance,

2273
01:57:04,280 --> 01:57:06,480
Speaker 1: when you just close your eyes and you sit in

2274
01:57:06,520 --> 01:57:09,160
Speaker 1: a dark room and you think to your you look

2275
01:57:09,160 --> 01:57:13,520
Speaker 1: inside yourself for that spiritual guidance, do you find.

2276
01:57:13,280 --> 01:57:17,960
Speaker 2: Anything you mean, like through prayer?

2277
01:57:19,840 --> 01:57:22,720
Speaker 1: Sure, sure, whatever whatever that even means to you.

2278
01:57:27,000 --> 01:57:32,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do feel that connection, but that only happened recently.

2279
01:57:33,040 --> 01:57:37,640
Speaker 2: Mm hm okay. I mean again, if you are looking

2280
01:57:37,640 --> 01:57:40,240
Speaker 2: for some kind of spiritual guidance, I would try to

2281
01:57:40,320 --> 01:57:44,520
Speaker 2: just seek out a more reputable religious institution to do

2282
01:57:44,600 --> 01:57:48,320
Speaker 2: it through. And that way, even if what you know,

2283
01:57:48,440 --> 01:57:50,360
Speaker 2: even if even if you engage in it and you

2284
01:57:50,400 --> 01:57:52,000
Speaker 2: find that you're not finding what you're seeking, you at

2285
01:57:52,040 --> 01:57:53,480
Speaker 2: least know that you're not dabbling in a cult.

2286
01:57:54,400 --> 01:57:55,120
Speaker 1: What do you like?

2287
01:57:56,240 --> 01:57:57,000
Speaker 2: Do you have.

2288
01:57:58,400 --> 01:58:03,520
Speaker 1: Strongly held beliefs already that you are trying to find

2289
01:58:04,440 --> 01:58:08,440
Speaker 1: a church that aligns with them.

2290
01:58:08,760 --> 01:58:10,360
Speaker 2: Or do you have questions that you're looking to get

2291
01:58:10,400 --> 01:58:11,840
Speaker 2: answered or something, or.

2292
01:58:15,080 --> 01:58:20,000
Speaker 4: A little along both lines. I'd say that I had

2293
01:58:20,120 --> 01:58:23,720
Speaker 4: loosely held beliefs that I thought were true but didn't

2294
01:58:23,800 --> 01:58:28,000
Speaker 4: understand why. So in this part of my life, I'm

2295
01:58:28,000 --> 01:58:33,080
Speaker 4: trying to ask questions and understand on a deeper, more

2296
01:58:33,120 --> 01:58:37,120
Speaker 4: fundamental level what it is I believe I'm.

2297
01:58:37,040 --> 01:58:37,440
Speaker 2: Going to tell.

2298
01:58:37,560 --> 01:58:42,400
Speaker 1: I'm just want to say, go ahead, go ahead, oh.

2299
01:58:42,360 --> 01:58:48,240
Speaker 4: Okay, sorry, I'm trying to pursue others because, like I,

2300
01:58:49,200 --> 01:58:54,640
Speaker 4: I'm generally an intelligent person. Like I do pretty well

2301
01:58:54,640 --> 01:58:58,000
Speaker 4: in classes. I understand uh stuff. I can help other

2302
01:58:58,040 --> 01:58:59,320
Speaker 4: people to understand things.

2303
01:58:59,480 --> 01:59:01,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, avoided these cults.

2304
01:59:02,240 --> 01:59:04,480
Speaker 1: Position sure, yeah, they would have gotten there.

2305
01:59:04,640 --> 01:59:06,480
Speaker 2: And you've invited these cults. If you were stupid, you

2306
01:59:06,480 --> 01:59:07,560
Speaker 2: would have joined the cults.

2307
01:59:07,840 --> 01:59:09,480
Speaker 1: Can I just I just want to say this, I

2308
01:59:09,800 --> 01:59:14,160
Speaker 1: I And this is kind of kind of my thoughts

2309
01:59:14,320 --> 01:59:19,400
Speaker 1: on this summed up is that you're on this crazy

2310
01:59:19,560 --> 01:59:22,600
Speaker 1: spiritual journey trying to figure out you believe and whatnot.

2311
01:59:22,680 --> 01:59:26,880
Speaker 1: And I think you have this desire to want to

2312
01:59:27,000 --> 01:59:30,760
Speaker 1: label it because label because when a thing is weird

2313
01:59:30,880 --> 01:59:34,680
Speaker 1: and intangible, it's a little bit harder to wrap your

2314
01:59:34,760 --> 01:59:37,560
Speaker 1: fucking head around, and when you can find a nice

2315
01:59:37,640 --> 01:59:40,400
Speaker 1: label for it, it makes it easier. But I wanted

2316
01:59:40,440 --> 01:59:44,880
Speaker 1: you to challenge yourself to not need that label for

2317
01:59:45,000 --> 01:59:47,120
Speaker 1: right now as you're going on this journey, because the

2318
01:59:47,200 --> 01:59:50,680
Speaker 1: label is not a inherently necessary thing to you and

2319
01:59:50,720 --> 01:59:56,080
Speaker 1: your spirituality. Okay, it can be its own, colorful, non

2320
01:59:56,280 --> 02:00:02,040
Speaker 1: you know, finite labeled thing. So again, I understand your

2321
02:00:02,080 --> 02:00:05,160
Speaker 1: desire to want to find a home for yourself that

2322
02:00:05,200 --> 02:00:09,720
Speaker 1: you can refer to and grab and share eloquently. But

2323
02:00:10,920 --> 02:00:17,200
Speaker 1: you listen, Yeah, focus on that sweet journey there, you know,

2324
02:00:17,280 --> 02:00:19,480
Speaker 1: instead of driving yourself crazy about this label.

2325
02:00:20,160 --> 02:00:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean explore your options, you know, I mean,

2326
02:00:23,640 --> 02:00:25,560
Speaker 2: have faith in the fact that you did a great

2327
02:00:25,640 --> 02:00:29,600
Speaker 2: job avoiding joining these cults. And if you have any

2328
02:00:29,640 --> 02:00:31,760
Speaker 2: sort of like you know, honestly, like I feel like

2329
02:00:31,840 --> 02:00:33,880
Speaker 2: the anxiety that you have around this could be totally

2330
02:00:33,880 --> 02:00:37,560
Speaker 2: wipe cleaned if you just avoid the tables. Because you know,

2331
02:00:37,680 --> 02:00:40,600
Speaker 2: people who are on a college campus handing out pamphlets

2332
02:00:40,640 --> 02:00:42,480
Speaker 2: trying to say anything that they want to say to

2333
02:00:42,520 --> 02:00:44,240
Speaker 2: you to get you to come to their club or

2334
02:00:44,240 --> 02:00:46,280
Speaker 2: come to their meeting or come to their whatever. Like

2335
02:00:46,360 --> 02:00:49,160
Speaker 2: they're there to manipulate. They're there to get you to,

2336
02:00:49,480 --> 02:00:52,560
Speaker 2: you know, sort of join up in their function. Rarely

2337
02:00:52,640 --> 02:00:55,360
Speaker 2: are they there to challenge you. They're going to tell

2338
02:00:55,400 --> 02:00:56,600
Speaker 2: you what you want to hear so that you come

2339
02:00:56,600 --> 02:00:58,400
Speaker 2: out to the club. That's literally the whole point of

2340
02:00:58,440 --> 02:00:58,800
Speaker 2: being there.

2341
02:00:58,840 --> 02:01:01,800
Speaker 1: Although I thought about this, what like, look, if you

2342
02:01:01,840 --> 02:01:04,200
Speaker 1: did decide you wanted to give up and fully submit

2343
02:01:04,240 --> 02:01:08,640
Speaker 1: yourself to this cult, that would probably be nice. You

2344
02:01:08,720 --> 02:01:10,480
Speaker 1: may just get you may be giving up and just

2345
02:01:10,480 --> 02:01:13,520
Speaker 1: being like I'm gonna let this cult dictate exactly what

2346
02:01:13,560 --> 02:01:15,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to do. And the thing, I mean, thinking

2347
02:01:15,640 --> 02:01:17,160
Speaker 1: about things is so hard.

2348
02:01:17,800 --> 02:01:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, listen, I would if you're interested in

2349
02:01:21,120 --> 02:01:22,440
Speaker 2: any of these cults, I would ask them what are

2350
02:01:22,440 --> 02:01:25,920
Speaker 2: their benefits? Is there a compound? Are there three square

2351
02:01:25,960 --> 02:01:26,480
Speaker 2: meals a day?

2352
02:01:26,600 --> 02:01:28,840
Speaker 4: They offer healthcare and get a.

2353
02:01:28,760 --> 02:01:30,240
Speaker 1: Healthy and listen.

2354
02:01:30,280 --> 02:01:32,560
Speaker 2: If you find a good deal, if you find a

2355
02:01:32,560 --> 02:01:34,240
Speaker 2: good cult deal, let us know.

2356
02:01:34,360 --> 02:01:37,640
Speaker 1: Please, let us know, Eric, anything I was gonna say

2357
02:01:37,640 --> 02:01:38,520
Speaker 1: to the people the computer before we.

2358
02:01:38,520 --> 02:01:45,320
Speaker 4: Go, uh yeah, do your own research, understand what you're

2359
02:01:45,320 --> 02:01:46,280
Speaker 4: getting yourself into.

2360
02:01:46,600 --> 02:01:48,200
Speaker 17: And have a good night.

2361
02:01:48,360 --> 02:01:49,720
Speaker 7: It's probably past your bedtime.

2362
02:01:50,520 --> 02:01:51,600
Speaker 1: Thank you, Eric, have a good night.

2363
02:01:53,040 --> 02:01:54,040
Speaker 5: Thanks for taking my call.

2364
02:01:55,320 --> 02:01:56,880
Speaker 1: I think it'd be great. I kind of want to

2365
02:01:56,920 --> 02:01:58,720
Speaker 1: have like a Gecko cult. I don't. I don't really

2366
02:01:58,760 --> 02:02:01,080
Speaker 1: have anything to offer anyone though, right, I.

2367
02:02:01,120 --> 02:02:04,920
Speaker 2: Just have You're gonna need a compound first, right to

2368
02:02:05,080 --> 02:02:06,880
Speaker 2: make a compound with some bunk beds.

2369
02:02:07,120 --> 02:02:09,040
Speaker 1: So it sounds like a logistical nightmare.

2370
02:02:09,800 --> 02:02:11,080
Speaker 2: I mean it could be. I mean you have to

2371
02:02:11,160 --> 02:02:14,360
Speaker 2: be passionate about your cult, really passionate about controlling people.

2372
02:02:14,600 --> 02:02:16,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so.

2373
02:02:16,040 --> 02:02:18,560
Speaker 2: Passionate that you would overlook the logistics to be like,

2374
02:02:18,600 --> 02:02:20,480
Speaker 2: you know what, this is a pain in the ass,

2375
02:02:20,520 --> 02:02:22,480
Speaker 2: But I get to tell people what to.

2376
02:02:22,400 --> 02:02:24,680
Speaker 1: Do, Yeah, isn't it always crazy to me, is that

2377
02:02:24,960 --> 02:02:30,000
Speaker 1: evil and anger are such emotional things, and like the

2378
02:02:30,080 --> 02:02:34,000
Speaker 1: logistics of planning out a compound is such a non

2379
02:02:34,040 --> 02:02:40,120
Speaker 1: emotional thing. And throughout navit like placing the bathrooms and

2380
02:02:40,160 --> 02:02:42,480
Speaker 1: making measurements for the walls and stuff. You know, no

2381
02:02:42,560 --> 02:02:44,080
Speaker 1: part of you is like, why the fuck am I

2382
02:02:44,160 --> 02:02:46,440
Speaker 1: doing this again? Oh? Yeah, because I I want to

2383
02:02:46,440 --> 02:02:47,280
Speaker 1: control folks.

2384
02:02:47,560 --> 02:02:50,360
Speaker 2: Well, that's that's because you're you're you're drive to become

2385
02:02:50,360 --> 02:02:53,480
Speaker 2: a cult leader, isn't that? Isn't that strong someone who

2386
02:02:53,520 --> 02:02:56,840
Speaker 2: really cares about it. You know, they're literally they're making

2387
02:02:56,840 --> 02:02:59,440
Speaker 2: the kool aid recipe right at the very end for

2388
02:02:59,480 --> 02:03:00,400
Speaker 2: everybody to drink.

2389
02:03:03,600 --> 02:03:09,640
Speaker 1: I think dying in a mass suicide with other cult members,

2390
02:03:10,160 --> 02:03:13,120
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it, but I get it. Yeah, you know,

2391
02:03:13,400 --> 02:03:17,800
Speaker 1: you're not alone. You found your community. I mean, because

2392
02:03:17,800 --> 02:03:20,120
Speaker 1: you die, if you don't die in a mass suicide

2393
02:03:20,240 --> 02:03:21,440
Speaker 1: or anything you do, you're alone.

2394
02:03:21,480 --> 02:03:22,200
Speaker 2: You die alone.

2395
02:03:22,800 --> 02:03:25,680
Speaker 1: I mean, your family is your family would be there.

2396
02:03:25,800 --> 02:03:27,080
Speaker 2: Hopefully they're not going with you, but.

2397
02:03:27,040 --> 02:03:29,440
Speaker 1: They're not coming with you. It'd be kind of nice

2398
02:03:29,480 --> 02:03:31,000
Speaker 1: to have, like, you know, people to.

2399
02:03:31,600 --> 02:03:33,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, like fifty to two hundred other people.

2400
02:03:33,880 --> 02:03:36,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it kind of sounds nice. Yeah, I get it.

2401
02:03:36,720 --> 02:03:39,000
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't recommend anyone do it.

2402
02:03:40,040 --> 02:03:43,600
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to say that I don't understand

2403
02:03:43,760 --> 02:03:46,240
Speaker 1: the appeal of taking part in a mass suicide.

2404
02:03:46,280 --> 02:03:48,200
Speaker 2: It's definitely kind of it's a bit of a vibe.

2405
02:03:48,240 --> 02:03:49,200
Speaker 1: It's a bit of a vibe.

2406
02:03:49,280 --> 02:03:49,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

2407
02:03:49,640 --> 02:03:51,960
Speaker 1: Also, like the parties that they throw before they kill

2408
02:03:52,000 --> 02:03:53,560
Speaker 1: themselves have to be awesome.

2409
02:03:53,480 --> 02:03:57,320
Speaker 2: Crazy, Yeah, loads of cocaine.

2410
02:03:57,560 --> 02:03:58,280
Speaker 1: How do you want to die?

2411
02:03:58,360 --> 02:04:00,280
Speaker 2: Who cares? You're you're you're about to die? Do you

2412
02:04:00,320 --> 02:04:02,480
Speaker 2: have a way? Quietly?

2413
02:04:03,120 --> 02:04:07,000
Speaker 1: Quietly? Quietly?

2414
02:04:07,360 --> 02:04:07,600
Speaker 2: Yeah?

2415
02:04:09,160 --> 02:04:11,200
Speaker 1: Isn't it a tragic I feel like hospitals there's a

2416
02:04:11,240 --> 02:04:14,040
Speaker 1: lot of noise. It's like hustle and bustle and machines

2417
02:04:14,120 --> 02:04:16,400
Speaker 1: being in the hospital. Where do you want to die?

2418
02:04:16,440 --> 02:04:19,840
Speaker 1: Like a hospice they have a quieter.

2419
02:04:20,880 --> 02:04:23,520
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I have a preference on location.

2420
02:04:23,920 --> 02:04:27,440
Speaker 2: Just just just not a scary, violent death, you know,

2421
02:04:27,600 --> 02:04:29,840
Speaker 2: just like a just a quiet death.

2422
02:04:30,440 --> 02:04:33,040
Speaker 1: You know. People, I've probably talked about this a thousand times,

2423
02:04:33,040 --> 02:04:36,800
Speaker 1: but people don't like the concept of the like the

2424
02:04:37,480 --> 02:04:41,520
Speaker 1: I think it'd be so sick to die in some

2425
02:04:41,600 --> 02:04:46,480
Speaker 1: apocalyptic event that destroys the world. Because how beautiful is

2426
02:04:46,520 --> 02:04:49,320
Speaker 1: it the idea to die at the end of the

2427
02:04:49,480 --> 02:04:51,400
Speaker 1: like you die with everyone and everything else.

2428
02:04:51,440 --> 02:04:54,280
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's not too much unlike the cult scenario, right,

2429
02:04:54,280 --> 02:04:57,520
Speaker 2: you're not alone exactly and sort of being off in

2430
02:04:57,560 --> 02:04:59,480
Speaker 2: this giant meteor hitting the planet.

2431
02:05:00,040 --> 02:05:01,800
Speaker 1: Like, I'm gonna get some emails after this, from some

2432
02:05:01,880 --> 02:05:04,400
Speaker 1: cults probably, and I'm going to read them.

2433
02:05:04,280 --> 02:05:06,160
Speaker 2: And you're gonna read them, and then you're going to research, and.

2434
02:05:06,080 --> 02:05:08,120
Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna do my research. And who knows what

2435
02:05:08,160 --> 02:05:09,040
Speaker 1: the research will yield.

2436
02:05:09,120 --> 02:05:12,480
Speaker 2: If they have good benefits, you may join up. Before

2437
02:05:12,520 --> 02:05:13,800
Speaker 2: I came on here, it was my goal to be

2438
02:05:13,840 --> 02:05:16,880
Speaker 2: the best guest that you ever had, the best number one.

2439
02:05:17,600 --> 02:05:21,839
Speaker 1: I can't one by by what metric? Because I can

2440
02:05:21,640 --> 02:05:22,480
Speaker 1: I can't.

2441
02:05:22,360 --> 02:05:24,120
Speaker 2: Really have no I really have no idea, at least

2442
02:05:24,160 --> 02:05:25,600
Speaker 2: in my own mind, in your mind.

2443
02:05:25,760 --> 02:05:28,600
Speaker 1: I can't make declarations like that because I would never

2444
02:05:28,680 --> 02:05:30,560
Speaker 1: say that one guest is better or worse than an

2445
02:05:31,880 --> 02:05:35,160
Speaker 1: I understand that you're doing great. I'm happy. I'm so

2446
02:05:35,320 --> 02:05:38,760
Speaker 1: glad that you came on. I can tell that, like

2447
02:05:38,840 --> 02:05:41,040
Speaker 1: you listen to the podcast.

2448
02:05:40,680 --> 02:05:42,640
Speaker 2: And like you don't, I've been wanting to do this.

2449
02:05:42,920 --> 02:05:45,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, like you, like you put your I'm

2450
02:05:45,360 --> 02:05:47,920
Speaker 1: very happy that you like you put yourself into it.

2451
02:05:48,000 --> 02:05:51,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, like when like we talked months ago about doing this, Yeah,

2452
02:05:51,520 --> 02:05:55,880
Speaker 2: and ever since that day, Yeah, I've been thinking about doing.

2453
02:05:55,680 --> 02:05:58,040
Speaker 1: This when you were listening, Like have you ever had

2454
02:05:58,160 --> 02:06:00,400
Speaker 1: like where you've been listening to the podcas us and

2455
02:06:00,440 --> 02:06:02,440
Speaker 1: you're like, I know what I would say to this person.

2456
02:06:03,360 --> 02:06:06,240
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, yeah, hell yeah, absolutely hell yeah. I'm glad

2457
02:06:06,240 --> 02:06:10,400
Speaker 1: that uh you you were able to come out and

2458
02:06:10,440 --> 02:06:18,000
Speaker 1: do this and straight your get stuff. What that means? Hello,

2459
02:06:18,840 --> 02:06:21,520
Speaker 1: Hi there, Hi Oscar.

2460
02:06:23,760 --> 02:06:25,880
Speaker 2: Yes, what's up.

2461
02:06:26,280 --> 02:06:27,040
Speaker 1: How's it going? Man?

2462
02:06:28,960 --> 02:06:31,760
Speaker 10: I I'm you know, I'm doing very good.

2463
02:06:31,840 --> 02:06:35,920
Speaker 7: Thank you. I've called you so many times about different things.

2464
02:06:35,960 --> 02:06:38,080
Speaker 7: I can't believe this is what you decided to talk about.

2465
02:06:38,240 --> 02:06:39,680
Speaker 7: But I'm actually very glad.

2466
02:06:40,760 --> 02:06:43,040
Speaker 1: Oh well tell us, tell us what's going on with you?

2467
02:06:46,840 --> 02:06:51,640
Speaker 7: So basically I thought I would talk about this, this

2468
02:06:51,720 --> 02:06:54,760
Speaker 7: thing I've had for a while. I've opened up two

2469
02:06:54,800 --> 02:06:58,360
Speaker 7: others about it, and I've never met someone that can relate.

2470
02:06:58,880 --> 02:07:02,160
Speaker 7: But I used to be extremely obsessed with my own

2471
02:07:02,240 --> 02:07:03,480
Speaker 7: Pooh when I was.

2472
02:07:03,480 --> 02:07:09,920
Speaker 2: Younger mm hm, obsessed with to what explains.

2473
02:07:09,520 --> 02:07:14,680
Speaker 7: Mom my mom had to clean like ship off the

2474
02:07:14,720 --> 02:07:18,320
Speaker 7: walls several times. It happened at like school as well.

2475
02:07:18,960 --> 02:07:21,040
Speaker 7: And I've also had a thing where I just really

2476
02:07:21,160 --> 02:07:23,560
Speaker 7: liked shitting in places where you're not meant to ship.

2477
02:07:24,640 --> 02:07:27,360
Speaker 1: And basically what kinds of places that you were not

2478
02:07:27,480 --> 02:07:27,960
Speaker 1: meant to ship?

2479
02:07:28,040 --> 02:07:28,560
Speaker 2: Did you ship?

2480
02:07:30,880 --> 02:07:34,400
Speaker 7: I did it in like a bush in my neighborhood.

2481
02:07:34,680 --> 02:07:38,360
Speaker 7: One time I did it in the public pool. There

2482
02:07:38,360 --> 02:07:40,400
Speaker 7: were times where I did it in the playground at

2483
02:07:40,440 --> 02:07:44,080
Speaker 7: school or in like the thing, just in some not

2484
02:07:44,240 --> 02:07:45,360
Speaker 7: very good places.

2485
02:07:46,000 --> 02:07:47,840
Speaker 2: And what age range are we talking about, and which

2486
02:07:47,840 --> 02:07:48,680
Speaker 2: you're doing this behavior?

2487
02:07:51,280 --> 02:07:54,200
Speaker 7: It's honestly like too young to remember, probably since I

2488
02:07:54,280 --> 02:07:57,240
Speaker 7: was like a toddler and possely trained and stuff up

2489
02:07:57,320 --> 02:07:59,920
Speaker 7: till like eleven or ten.

2490
02:08:01,640 --> 02:08:03,920
Speaker 2: Oh okay, So you did this all the way up

2491
02:08:04,000 --> 02:08:05,120
Speaker 2: until age eleven.

2492
02:08:06,720 --> 02:08:09,880
Speaker 7: Pretty much okay? And I've never met someone else who

2493
02:08:09,960 --> 02:08:11,960
Speaker 7: was like obsessed with ship. But then I learned that

2494
02:08:12,040 --> 02:08:15,400
Speaker 7: I just had autism.

2495
02:08:15,480 --> 02:08:18,480
Speaker 1: What do you mean by like, because I'm being honest

2496
02:08:18,520 --> 02:08:21,280
Speaker 1: with you right now, you know the age range that

2497
02:08:21,320 --> 02:08:25,200
Speaker 1: you're describing right now. I don't know how you're feeling

2498
02:08:25,240 --> 02:08:29,520
Speaker 1: about this, man, but I this seems very seems free

2499
02:08:29,600 --> 02:08:30,600
Speaker 1: standard to me.

2500
02:08:31,280 --> 02:08:35,800
Speaker 2: I feel like once you're really I feel like once

2501
02:08:35,800 --> 02:08:37,880
Speaker 2: you're getting into the double digits, you're kind of pushing it.

2502
02:08:38,040 --> 02:08:41,480
Speaker 2: But the thing is, like, from what you're describing so far,

2503
02:08:41,640 --> 02:08:45,240
Speaker 2: you've you've stopped this behavior. Is this over and done with?

2504
02:08:45,600 --> 02:08:49,640
Speaker 7: Or yeah, no, it's it's very much over and done with.

2505
02:08:49,720 --> 02:08:51,320
Speaker 7: It's the thought of me doing that now.

2506
02:08:51,600 --> 02:08:57,480
Speaker 1: It's like, if it makes you feel any better. I

2507
02:08:57,840 --> 02:09:00,720
Speaker 1: so every time I take a like an impressed of poop,

2508
02:09:00,800 --> 02:09:02,080
Speaker 1: I will take a picture of it.

2509
02:09:03,680 --> 02:09:07,440
Speaker 7: I mean really see, because my last relationship, my girlfriend

2510
02:09:07,480 --> 02:09:09,320
Speaker 7: would do that a lot, and it kind of started

2511
02:09:09,360 --> 02:09:11,400
Speaker 7: to bother me. I feel really bad. But like because

2512
02:09:11,400 --> 02:09:11,920
Speaker 7: I said.

2513
02:09:11,760 --> 02:09:13,920
Speaker 1: I kind of started to bother you, I thought you

2514
02:09:13,960 --> 02:09:15,960
Speaker 1: would find her to be a kindred.

2515
02:09:15,760 --> 02:09:20,560
Speaker 7: Spirit, right, No, Because first I was like, yeah, I'm

2516
02:09:20,720 --> 02:09:23,600
Speaker 7: very down with that, but then I realized I actually

2517
02:09:23,720 --> 02:09:24,680
Speaker 7: wasn't that down.

2518
02:09:24,520 --> 02:09:28,200
Speaker 2: With it, Okay, So so let me ask you. You're

2519
02:09:28,200 --> 02:09:28,600
Speaker 2: telling you.

2520
02:09:29,840 --> 02:09:31,880
Speaker 7: As well, like I was really obsessed with like the

2521
02:09:31,920 --> 02:09:35,680
Speaker 7: feeling of like ship, not like the act of it,

2522
02:09:35,760 --> 02:09:38,440
Speaker 7: but like I would like break it into little pieces

2523
02:09:38,480 --> 02:09:41,080
Speaker 7: as well. And it was like genuinely so hard for

2524
02:09:41,160 --> 02:09:43,480
Speaker 7: me not to like break it into little pieces. Recentle

2525
02:09:43,480 --> 02:09:44,800
Speaker 7: time hit.

2526
02:09:46,400 --> 02:09:51,160
Speaker 2: I mean, look here, here's the thing. When you have

2527
02:09:51,200 --> 02:09:56,480
Speaker 2: a neurodivergency, whether you're on the autism spectrum or you

2528
02:09:56,480 --> 02:10:00,840
Speaker 2: have ADHD, uh, there's all sorts of anoma lees where,

2529
02:10:01,280 --> 02:10:05,920
Speaker 2: especially very young kids, I will become absolutely obsessed with

2530
02:10:05,960 --> 02:10:09,240
Speaker 2: doing something that for whatever reason that they do, they

2531
02:10:09,440 --> 02:10:13,880
Speaker 2: mentally just find it stimulating, they find it intriguing, and

2532
02:10:14,000 --> 02:10:19,840
Speaker 2: scientifically speaking, there's not like any kind of answers per

2533
02:10:19,920 --> 02:10:23,440
Speaker 2: se as to what draws someone to one specific thing.

2534
02:10:24,080 --> 02:10:26,520
Speaker 2: When I was a kid and I have ADHD, I

2535
02:10:26,600 --> 02:10:28,520
Speaker 2: used to grunt all the time. I used to have

2536
02:10:28,640 --> 02:10:31,360
Speaker 2: I used to have this deep physical need to make

2537
02:10:31,400 --> 02:10:34,400
Speaker 2: this weird grunting sound, and I'd be idly making it

2538
02:10:34,400 --> 02:10:36,400
Speaker 2: all the time. I used to drive my dad fucking crazy.

2539
02:10:36,400 --> 02:10:39,480
Speaker 2: He would go insane, you know, he would be like screaming,

2540
02:10:39,840 --> 02:10:42,600
Speaker 2: like going nuts because and I can understand how it's annoying.

2541
02:10:42,600 --> 02:10:45,680
Speaker 2: You know, I'm just a little kid making this very

2542
02:10:45,720 --> 02:10:51,080
Speaker 2: audibly annoying sound. All yeah, No, I mean I'm not.

2543
02:10:51,200 --> 02:10:53,680
Speaker 2: I'm not faulting the guy. He's he fucking had roid

2544
02:10:53,760 --> 02:10:55,880
Speaker 2: rage and I don't talk to him anymore. He's a

2545
02:10:55,920 --> 02:11:00,360
Speaker 2: piece of shit. But you know the thing is like, uh,

2546
02:11:00,960 --> 02:11:04,520
Speaker 2: you know when when you are on you know, some

2547
02:11:04,640 --> 02:11:07,760
Speaker 2: kind of Nerdi Vergin spectrum like that. There's all sorts

2548
02:11:07,800 --> 02:11:10,360
Speaker 2: of behaviors that are exhibited in children where they just

2549
02:11:10,400 --> 02:11:13,920
Speaker 2: get in a way just kind of addicted to an act,

2550
02:11:14,520 --> 02:11:18,600
Speaker 2: you know, be it a weird physical quirk or an

2551
02:11:18,640 --> 02:11:22,120
Speaker 2: object or a substance or whatever, playing with it, touching

2552
02:11:22,120 --> 02:11:25,040
Speaker 2: with it, interacting with it, doing whatever with it. In

2553
02:11:25,120 --> 02:11:29,080
Speaker 2: your case, it just so happened to be a very

2554
02:11:29,120 --> 02:11:31,000
Speaker 2: taboo thing to want to play with and touch with

2555
02:11:31,080 --> 02:11:31,640
Speaker 2: and do anything.

2556
02:11:31,680 --> 02:11:34,320
Speaker 1: Did you so like were you how were you like

2557
02:11:34,360 --> 02:11:37,360
Speaker 1: scooping poops out of the toilet and rubbing them on

2558
02:11:37,400 --> 02:11:38,480
Speaker 1: the walls and shing like that?

2559
02:11:40,480 --> 02:11:40,879
Speaker 7: Yeah?

2560
02:11:42,080 --> 02:11:47,200
Speaker 1: Okay, and is now listen. It says that you hear

2561
02:11:47,240 --> 02:11:49,040
Speaker 1: that you feel a lot of shame over this. Is

2562
02:11:49,080 --> 02:11:53,120
Speaker 1: that true? Do you feel active shame.

2563
02:11:54,440 --> 02:12:01,440
Speaker 2: Over this as a twenty one year old, because I

2564
02:12:01,960 --> 02:12:02,440
Speaker 2: can't of it.

2565
02:12:02,480 --> 02:12:04,120
Speaker 1: I don't find it that weird if you were like

2566
02:12:04,160 --> 02:12:05,800
Speaker 1: a kid.

2567
02:12:05,280 --> 02:12:07,800
Speaker 2: No, I mean, look in the grander scheme of things,

2568
02:12:08,120 --> 02:12:10,920
Speaker 2: this could be a nerdivergent anomaly, especially if you're aware

2569
02:12:10,920 --> 02:12:15,600
Speaker 2: of the fact that you're autistic, because again, kids obsessively

2570
02:12:15,640 --> 02:12:17,720
Speaker 2: engage in all types. If you look at it in

2571
02:12:17,760 --> 02:12:20,160
Speaker 2: the grander scheme of things, what you're experiencing is not

2572
02:12:20,240 --> 02:12:22,960
Speaker 2: that weird. Kids who are on the spectrum engage in

2573
02:12:23,040 --> 02:12:26,840
Speaker 2: all sorts of weird, obsessive behaviors that eventually at one

2574
02:12:26,920 --> 02:12:30,360
Speaker 2: point as their brains develop. I mean, some do, some don't,

2575
02:12:30,400 --> 02:12:34,080
Speaker 2: depending on you know, their severity of their nerdivergence, but

2576
02:12:34,160 --> 02:12:35,600
Speaker 2: a lot of them, when they reach a certain age,

2577
02:12:35,600 --> 02:12:39,320
Speaker 2: as you did, they become less obsessed with the behavior.

2578
02:12:40,720 --> 02:12:42,720
Speaker 2: And it sounds like that's just sort of.

2579
02:12:42,880 --> 02:12:46,920
Speaker 7: Just comes from I was just going to say a

2580
02:12:46,920 --> 02:12:49,400
Speaker 7: lot of it isn't even so much as like, oh

2581
02:12:49,480 --> 02:12:52,760
Speaker 7: I feel so weird about it. Still, the specific since

2582
02:12:52,760 --> 02:12:56,240
Speaker 7: though of me like shitting in a public hall haunts

2583
02:12:56,320 --> 02:12:58,880
Speaker 7: me to this day, just the thought of that and

2584
02:12:59,080 --> 02:13:01,440
Speaker 7: the fact that I just like didn't even think about

2585
02:13:01,480 --> 02:13:05,320
Speaker 7: it at the moment. I'm like, that was like where

2586
02:13:05,360 --> 02:13:06,480
Speaker 7: it got too far for me.

2587
02:13:07,720 --> 02:13:10,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I imagine there's probably a lot of social shame

2588
02:13:10,240 --> 02:13:12,880
Speaker 2: around that, and that you got some pretty gnarly reactions

2589
02:13:12,920 --> 02:13:14,920
Speaker 2: to that. But but by that same token.

2590
02:13:14,840 --> 02:13:16,960
Speaker 7: Oh no, because the thing is it was closed by then,

2591
02:13:17,080 --> 02:13:19,400
Speaker 7: they like closed the pool. So I have no idea

2592
02:13:19,480 --> 02:13:20,960
Speaker 7: what happened after or who had.

2593
02:13:20,840 --> 02:13:25,560
Speaker 2: To Oh really okay, but but I said, so were

2594
02:13:25,560 --> 02:13:26,960
Speaker 2: you swimming in the pool at the time.

2595
02:13:29,280 --> 02:13:31,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, And they were like calling people to get out

2596
02:13:31,680 --> 02:13:33,760
Speaker 7: because they were closing, And I was like, I really

2597
02:13:33,760 --> 02:13:35,280
Speaker 7: need a ship, but I don't know where the toy

2598
02:13:35,280 --> 02:13:37,480
Speaker 7: it is, so I ship in the pool.

2599
02:13:37,840 --> 02:13:40,320
Speaker 2: Okay. So so in that instance, you engaged in the

2600
02:13:40,360 --> 02:13:43,200
Speaker 2: behavior not because you have this weird obsession. You just

2601
02:13:43,240 --> 02:13:45,960
Speaker 2: had an emergency, which happens to all kids, Like you're

2602
02:13:45,960 --> 02:13:47,440
Speaker 2: You're far from the first kid to shit in a

2603
02:13:47,440 --> 02:13:48,000
Speaker 2: public pool.

2604
02:13:50,000 --> 02:13:53,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, it just wasn't really a second thought at the time.

2605
02:13:53,240 --> 02:13:56,120
Speaker 7: It was just like, you know, hey, this is just

2606
02:13:56,280 --> 02:13:59,400
Speaker 7: a new place on the list at the ship location.

2607
02:13:59,840 --> 02:14:03,120
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, from what you say, it just sounds

2608
02:14:03,120 --> 02:14:05,480
Speaker 2: like you had which which is which is why they

2609
02:14:05,520 --> 02:14:08,640
Speaker 2: put chlorine in the pool in the first place. They

2610
02:14:08,680 --> 02:14:10,360
Speaker 2: know that kids are going to piss and ship in

2611
02:14:10,400 --> 02:14:10,760
Speaker 2: the pool.

2612
02:14:13,920 --> 02:14:15,680
Speaker 7: I've also been on the other end of it, though,

2613
02:14:15,800 --> 02:14:17,760
Speaker 7: Like I've been at the pool when someone else is

2614
02:14:17,760 --> 02:14:18,720
Speaker 7: shipp in the pool one time?

2615
02:14:19,760 --> 02:14:21,560
Speaker 1: Does that give you back? Like when somebody else ships

2616
02:14:21,600 --> 02:14:23,920
Speaker 1: the pool, you're like, hey, man, I was there.

2617
02:14:23,960 --> 02:14:25,560
Speaker 2: I guess I was like.

2618
02:14:26,320 --> 02:14:31,560
Speaker 1: You're a pissed Look this, I feel like this is

2619
02:14:31,640 --> 02:14:34,440
Speaker 1: the whole situation. It's a you know, window into you

2620
02:14:34,560 --> 02:14:36,520
Speaker 1: to be able to have more empathy for people when

2621
02:14:36,560 --> 02:14:40,280
Speaker 1: you know they they take ships, they shipped on you,

2622
02:14:40,360 --> 02:14:41,120
Speaker 1: they shouldn't.

2623
02:14:44,400 --> 02:14:48,880
Speaker 7: I've never had anyone ship on me, luckily, Yeah you haven't.

2624
02:14:48,960 --> 02:14:52,240
Speaker 2: You haven't shipped on anybody, have you?

2625
02:14:52,280 --> 02:14:52,800
Speaker 10: No?

2626
02:14:52,920 --> 02:14:58,840
Speaker 2: Not yet simply on them like baby, what if.

2627
02:14:58,760 --> 02:15:01,320
Speaker 1: They had a really good reason to. I don't know

2628
02:15:01,320 --> 02:15:03,320
Speaker 1: what the reason would be, but what if one arise?

2629
02:15:05,440 --> 02:15:08,240
Speaker 7: I mean like, I'm not I'm not saying that at

2630
02:15:08,320 --> 02:15:11,280
Speaker 7: any point in my life. I'm never going to let

2631
02:15:11,280 --> 02:15:13,520
Speaker 7: someone shot on me. I'm open to a lot of.

2632
02:15:13,440 --> 02:15:14,640
Speaker 1: Things, okay and wrong.

2633
02:15:15,000 --> 02:15:19,680
Speaker 7: Okay, okay, yeah, don't don't knock until you try it.

2634
02:15:19,800 --> 02:15:21,520
Speaker 1: Well, all right, it sounds like you have the next

2635
02:15:21,560 --> 02:15:24,120
Speaker 1: thing that you're gonna call in about already. Cue up.

2636
02:15:25,800 --> 02:15:28,280
Speaker 7: I would love to call back about this once. I

2637
02:15:29,120 --> 02:15:29,880
Speaker 7: we don't know yet.

2638
02:15:30,240 --> 02:15:32,640
Speaker 1: Here's can I just say this, don't you've done some research,

2639
02:15:32,760 --> 02:15:37,160
Speaker 1: don't just don't go out and get chat on just

2640
02:15:37,320 --> 02:15:39,560
Speaker 1: for the sole purpose of making so you can come

2641
02:15:39,600 --> 02:15:41,480
Speaker 1: back and talk about do it if you really want

2642
02:15:41,520 --> 02:15:47,240
Speaker 1: to do it. Okay, yeah, Oscar, is there anything else

2643
02:15:47,280 --> 02:15:49,760
Speaker 1: you want to say to me, or to Anthony Fantana

2644
02:15:49,880 --> 02:15:51,280
Speaker 1: or to God before we go?

2645
02:15:52,640 --> 02:15:53,000
Speaker 8: Yeah?

2646
02:15:53,360 --> 02:15:58,080
Speaker 7: Actually, because Anthony I used to be on the Anthony

2647
02:15:58,120 --> 02:16:01,640
Speaker 7: Fantana hatred I'm not gonna lie to you. And it's

2648
02:16:02,120 --> 02:16:04,760
Speaker 7: one day I came to the realization that the only

2649
02:16:04,800 --> 02:16:09,640
Speaker 7: thing more annoying than Anty Fantano is Anthony Fantano haters.

2650
02:16:09,680 --> 02:16:13,000
Speaker 7: And I started watching you and I was like, Wow,

2651
02:16:13,600 --> 02:16:15,520
Speaker 7: I like this guy. And then I figured out that

2652
02:16:15,600 --> 02:16:19,080
Speaker 7: you rated Charlie xcx is self titled album the Best

2653
02:16:19,160 --> 02:16:21,600
Speaker 7: of twenty nineteen, and you instantly became one of my

2654
02:16:21,640 --> 02:16:23,720
Speaker 7: favorite people on News Now and.

2655
02:16:23,680 --> 02:16:25,400
Speaker 2: That's one of the greatest parts in the time.

2656
02:16:25,440 --> 02:16:25,600
Speaker 15: And the.

2657
02:16:27,720 --> 02:16:30,280
Speaker 2: Room reip was amazing. I was. I was on that

2658
02:16:30,360 --> 02:16:31,800
Speaker 2: EP before a lot of people were.

2659
02:16:33,400 --> 02:16:36,600
Speaker 7: Hiking you very much were And I think even when

2660
02:16:36,640 --> 02:16:39,760
Speaker 7: I'm disagreeing with you, I just love that you've listened

2661
02:16:39,800 --> 02:16:42,280
Speaker 7: to like, literally everything, and you'll always give you a like,

2662
02:16:42,360 --> 02:16:45,240
Speaker 7: actual opinion and an actual, like critical thought. I respect

2663
02:16:45,240 --> 02:16:47,560
Speaker 7: that more than anything. So thank you, so really cool.

2664
02:16:48,360 --> 02:16:49,640
Speaker 2: Thank you, sir cool.

2665
02:16:51,440 --> 02:16:53,000
Speaker 1: Hey, thank you very much. Ask you have the rest

2666
02:16:53,000 --> 02:16:53,320
Speaker 1: of the name.

2667
02:16:55,120 --> 02:16:56,400
Speaker 7: Thank you get bye.

2668
02:16:56,879 --> 02:16:59,040
Speaker 2: And that's why you can't trade in your integrity.

2669
02:16:59,120 --> 02:17:01,280
Speaker 1: I was thinking that He's like, yeah, because you know.

2670
02:17:01,240 --> 02:17:04,959
Speaker 2: Because that guy, you know, yeah, he value, he sees

2671
02:17:05,040 --> 02:17:06,320
Speaker 2: value in what I do, and he knows that I'm

2672
02:17:06,360 --> 02:17:07,400
Speaker 2: coming from a serious place.

2673
02:17:07,720 --> 02:17:10,760
Speaker 1: How often do you I feel like I'm in the

2674
02:17:10,760 --> 02:17:12,640
Speaker 1: position where I'm always I'm always talking to people who

2675
02:17:12,680 --> 02:17:16,520
Speaker 1: watch me. How often are you, like, like, you know,

2676
02:17:17,160 --> 02:17:21,000
Speaker 1: interacting with people who watch you on the computer.

2677
02:17:22,120 --> 02:17:24,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I wouldn't say I'm interacting with them all

2678
02:17:24,360 --> 02:17:26,000
Speaker 2: the time, as much as I'm just kind of keeping

2679
02:17:26,080 --> 02:17:27,959
Speaker 2: track of what they're saying, because a lot of the

2680
02:17:27,959 --> 02:17:30,240
Speaker 2: time they're recommending stuff for me to listen to. Yeah,

2681
02:17:30,480 --> 02:17:32,640
Speaker 2: you know, they're like, hey, check this out. You know,

2682
02:17:32,879 --> 02:17:35,040
Speaker 2: I'd much rather check out a recommendation from a fan

2683
02:17:35,080 --> 02:17:37,680
Speaker 2: than like some random pr email. It's just like, hey,

2684
02:17:38,040 --> 02:17:39,760
Speaker 2: gout this brand new band that I'm being paid to

2685
02:17:39,800 --> 02:17:41,920
Speaker 2: tell you about, you know, because like, at least if

2686
02:17:41,920 --> 02:17:43,560
Speaker 2: I know if a fan is throwing it my way,

2687
02:17:44,040 --> 02:17:46,000
Speaker 2: even if I don't end up liking it, I know

2688
02:17:46,040 --> 02:17:48,360
Speaker 2: that they recommended it from a passionate place. You know,

2689
02:17:48,400 --> 02:17:51,039
Speaker 2: It's like they're doing it for free because they're just

2690
02:17:51,080 --> 02:17:54,600
Speaker 2: really excited about it, you know, and that and that,

2691
02:17:54,800 --> 02:17:59,080
Speaker 2: more often than not, is what leads to some interesting stuff.

2692
02:18:00,200 --> 02:18:05,959
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, what's going on?

2693
02:18:08,440 --> 02:18:12,480
Speaker 17: Well, I guess I'm just calling in because so I've

2694
02:18:12,520 --> 02:18:15,360
Speaker 17: been chasing a dream trying to make music for like

2695
02:18:15,480 --> 02:18:20,480
Speaker 17: ten years and right kind of getting embarrassing at this point.

2696
02:18:20,520 --> 02:18:22,240
Speaker 2: I guess, how old are you?

2697
02:18:24,080 --> 02:18:24,680
Speaker 7: Twenty five?

2698
02:18:26,120 --> 02:18:26,480
Speaker 2: That's it?

2699
02:18:29,400 --> 02:18:30,840
Speaker 3: Yeah?

2700
02:18:30,879 --> 02:18:33,680
Speaker 2: Well, do you know how old James Murphy was when

2701
02:18:33,720 --> 02:18:36,200
Speaker 2: he started LCD sound System. Do you know how old

2702
02:18:36,280 --> 02:18:39,560
Speaker 2: Chuck Barry was when he had his first hit? They

2703
02:18:39,560 --> 02:18:43,160
Speaker 2: were both ten years older than you. Oh?

2704
02:18:43,240 --> 02:18:43,560
Speaker 1: Really?

2705
02:18:44,400 --> 02:18:44,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

2706
02:18:45,480 --> 02:18:47,879
Speaker 17: LCD sound System.

2707
02:18:47,920 --> 02:18:50,760
Speaker 2: Literally the first LCD sound System single is about being

2708
02:18:50,800 --> 02:18:54,080
Speaker 2: old and washed up and irrelevant, losing my edge.

2709
02:18:55,920 --> 02:18:58,600
Speaker 17: But that's all I write about now, because that's all that.

2710
02:18:58,920 --> 02:19:01,440
Speaker 2: I just feel well for James Murphy and now he's

2711
02:19:01,480 --> 02:19:03,200
Speaker 2: the front man one of the most popular bands in

2712
02:19:03,200 --> 02:19:04,320
Speaker 2: the world, So maybe it'll work for you.

2713
02:19:06,720 --> 02:19:07,960
Speaker 17: True true?

2714
02:19:09,160 --> 02:19:11,000
Speaker 2: Okay, Look, look, what what do you what's this? What's

2715
02:19:11,080 --> 02:19:13,480
Speaker 2: what's what's this dream look like? In your head? Like

2716
02:19:13,520 --> 02:19:15,600
Speaker 2: if the dream came true? What would the dream look like?

2717
02:19:17,720 --> 02:19:21,119
Speaker 17: I guess just like being able to support myself and

2718
02:19:21,720 --> 02:19:24,680
Speaker 17: the people that I love to some degree with just

2719
02:19:24,680 --> 02:19:27,760
Speaker 17: being able to like play and release music.

2720
02:19:28,920 --> 02:19:34,119
Speaker 2: Okay, what uh do you do you actually get any

2721
02:19:34,200 --> 02:19:38,040
Speaker 2: enjoyment out of the process of just just recording and

2722
02:19:38,080 --> 02:19:41,920
Speaker 2: making music itself? Like could you see yourself happy just

2723
02:19:42,040 --> 02:19:46,440
Speaker 2: making music without necessarily, you know, doing it as a

2724
02:19:46,440 --> 02:19:47,360
Speaker 2: profession or something.

2725
02:19:48,879 --> 02:19:50,959
Speaker 17: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I would. I'd probably

2726
02:19:50,959 --> 02:19:53,959
Speaker 17: be doing it even if I went to go do

2727
02:19:54,040 --> 02:19:57,039
Speaker 17: something else more like full time and put more in

2728
02:19:57,080 --> 02:19:58,000
Speaker 17: time and energy.

2729
02:19:57,800 --> 02:19:58,360
Speaker 14: And other stuff.

2730
02:19:58,400 --> 02:19:59,879
Speaker 17: I've always loved making.

2731
02:20:00,360 --> 02:20:00,640
Speaker 7: It's the.

2732
02:20:02,520 --> 02:20:04,680
Speaker 17: I might playing stuff. There's a lot of sun But.

2733
02:20:04,879 --> 02:20:07,320
Speaker 2: Okay, because here's the thing. I have friends of mine

2734
02:20:07,360 --> 02:20:11,280
Speaker 2: personally who who you know, be they friends or be

2735
02:20:11,320 --> 02:20:14,080
Speaker 2: they just people who I know, you know, through through

2736
02:20:14,120 --> 02:20:16,560
Speaker 2: the industry who make music for a living. I mean,

2737
02:20:16,560 --> 02:20:18,560
Speaker 2: obviously there's no surprise that I know people who make

2738
02:20:18,600 --> 02:20:20,680
Speaker 2: music for a living doing what I do. But the

2739
02:20:20,720 --> 02:20:25,400
Speaker 2: thing is, oftentimes the act of making music, once it's

2740
02:20:25,440 --> 02:20:28,519
Speaker 2: become their living, is the thing that they find themselves

2741
02:20:28,600 --> 02:20:32,959
Speaker 2: doing the least. Because once it's once it's become your living,

2742
02:20:33,400 --> 02:20:38,280
Speaker 2: you're worried about selling merch and landing shows and doing

2743
02:20:38,320 --> 02:20:43,039
Speaker 2: performances and label stuff and promotion stuff and pr stuff

2744
02:20:43,480 --> 02:20:48,640
Speaker 2: and band chemistry and dynamics and you know, a networking

2745
02:20:48,680 --> 02:20:51,680
Speaker 2: within the industry and press and so on and so forth,

2746
02:20:51,720 --> 02:20:55,400
Speaker 2: and then after all of that, there only ends up

2747
02:20:55,400 --> 02:20:58,000
Speaker 2: being this tiny sliver of time with which you have

2748
02:20:58,040 --> 02:21:01,440
Speaker 2: to like write your next record in order to keep

2749
02:21:01,760 --> 02:21:06,760
Speaker 2: the lights on in your house. Does that sound like

2750
02:21:06,800 --> 02:21:09,240
Speaker 2: a sexy setup to you?

2751
02:21:09,360 --> 02:21:12,280
Speaker 17: Damn no, No, that doesn't sound great. Well, I guess

2752
02:21:12,320 --> 02:21:15,560
Speaker 17: that's and that's glam calling it, so like should I

2753
02:21:15,640 --> 02:21:20,640
Speaker 17: start redirecting my life to do something a little bit more?

2754
02:21:21,280 --> 02:21:23,959
Speaker 17: You know, because I'm also like embarrassed by like it

2755
02:21:23,959 --> 02:21:26,400
Speaker 17: feels like a really selfish pursuit, like a very like

2756
02:21:26,600 --> 02:21:30,160
Speaker 17: masturbatory thing. Like as cool as it is and as

2757
02:21:30,200 --> 02:21:32,760
Speaker 17: fun as it is, like the whole process of being

2758
02:21:32,800 --> 02:21:34,879
Speaker 17: like look at me, and like this thing I'm doing

2759
02:21:35,080 --> 02:21:37,880
Speaker 17: is kind of it's kind of embarrassing to some degree.

2760
02:21:39,760 --> 02:21:42,000
Speaker 2: I don't really like would you would you be? Do

2761
02:21:42,040 --> 02:21:43,640
Speaker 2: you think it would be embarrassing if what if your

2762
02:21:43,640 --> 02:21:46,280
Speaker 2: friends was like, you know, maybe they add a nine

2763
02:21:46,320 --> 02:21:49,760
Speaker 2: to five, but on their off time they were playing footsies.

2764
02:21:49,800 --> 02:21:54,040
Speaker 2: Here in their off time they painted paintings and were like, hey,

2765
02:21:54,080 --> 02:21:56,160
Speaker 2: I made this great painting. Look at my painting. Would

2766
02:21:56,160 --> 02:21:57,920
Speaker 2: you be like, ew, that's cringe. Why are you spending

2767
02:21:57,920 --> 02:21:58,760
Speaker 2: all your time painting?

2768
02:22:00,840 --> 02:22:03,160
Speaker 17: No, No, I would, I definitely wouldn't do that.

2769
02:22:03,720 --> 02:22:06,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just making art for the fun of making art.

2770
02:22:06,320 --> 02:22:08,080
Speaker 2: There's no shame in doing that. There's no shame in

2771
02:22:08,080 --> 02:22:08,960
Speaker 2: showing it to other people.

2772
02:22:11,840 --> 02:22:13,160
Speaker 7: True, very true.

2773
02:22:13,959 --> 02:22:15,840
Speaker 2: Now, I don't think you should give up on your

2774
02:22:15,920 --> 02:22:18,840
Speaker 2: dream of making and enjoying making music, And I don't

2775
02:22:18,840 --> 02:22:23,440
Speaker 2: think you necessarily need to, like, you know, rule out

2776
02:22:23,600 --> 02:22:28,600
Speaker 2: the potential to be successful at it to some degree.

2777
02:22:28,680 --> 02:22:33,240
Speaker 2: But you know, know this, like, there's so much about

2778
02:22:33,240 --> 02:22:37,959
Speaker 2: making music as a profession that has Yes, yes, it

2779
02:22:38,000 --> 02:22:40,280
Speaker 2: does have quite a bit to do with talent and

2780
02:22:40,360 --> 02:22:42,280
Speaker 2: has quite a bit to do with whatever your ideas

2781
02:22:42,360 --> 02:22:45,120
Speaker 2: for a song are, but it also has a lot

2782
02:22:45,160 --> 02:22:51,160
Speaker 2: to fucking do with like luck and marketability and whether

2783
02:22:51,240 --> 02:22:54,560
Speaker 2: or not what you're saying resonates with an audience of people, which,

2784
02:22:54,800 --> 02:22:56,600
Speaker 2: like all have to do with factors that are so

2785
02:22:56,800 --> 02:22:59,560
Speaker 2: far outside of your control that in some cases it

2786
02:22:59,600 --> 02:23:02,760
Speaker 2: doesn't matter how talented people are, just some people don't

2787
02:23:02,959 --> 02:23:05,520
Speaker 2: get the right opportunity, or they don't have the right message,

2788
02:23:05,760 --> 02:23:08,040
Speaker 2: or for whatever reason, they don't find the audience of

2789
02:23:08,040 --> 02:23:10,520
Speaker 2: people who would actually connect with what they're doing. And

2790
02:23:10,520 --> 02:23:13,440
Speaker 2: that's just you know, a roll of the dice in

2791
02:23:13,480 --> 02:23:17,000
Speaker 2: some instances, you know, or in other instances sometimes about

2792
02:23:17,000 --> 02:23:19,120
Speaker 2: who you know, because there's some people who enter the

2793
02:23:19,160 --> 02:23:22,640
Speaker 2: industry with connections you know, which you know, nobody can help,

2794
02:23:22,680 --> 02:23:25,680
Speaker 2: you know, neither of us can help or fix or change.

2795
02:23:25,879 --> 02:23:27,920
Speaker 2: You know. All you can really do is like just

2796
02:23:28,040 --> 02:23:31,200
Speaker 2: plug away at what you enjoy doing, and if you

2797
02:23:31,280 --> 02:23:33,080
Speaker 2: find the time to do it in your spare time,

2798
02:23:34,080 --> 02:23:37,400
Speaker 2: maybe upload it to TikTok, Maybe put it on YouTube,

2799
02:23:37,640 --> 02:23:39,280
Speaker 2: Maybe throw it up there on the internet in some

2800
02:23:39,440 --> 02:23:41,720
Speaker 2: random place and just see if people take to it.

2801
02:23:41,760 --> 02:23:43,720
Speaker 2: Maybe put it up on band camp. You know, maybe

2802
02:23:43,720 --> 02:23:47,600
Speaker 2: you'll sell a few hundred, you know, digital sales of

2803
02:23:47,600 --> 02:23:49,520
Speaker 2: a record that you're really proud of or something like that.

2804
02:23:49,560 --> 02:23:54,520
Speaker 2: Who the hell knows, you know. You know, the only

2805
02:23:54,560 --> 02:23:56,400
Speaker 2: people who I know who aren't kind of living that

2806
02:23:56,440 --> 02:23:59,080
Speaker 2: lifestyle that I explained to you earlier are people who

2807
02:23:59,080 --> 02:24:03,439
Speaker 2: have reached such high levels of success in the mainstream

2808
02:24:04,000 --> 02:24:06,920
Speaker 2: that it's it's the chances of doing some are lower

2809
02:24:06,959 --> 02:24:09,320
Speaker 2: than winning the fucking lottery, you know what I mean.

2810
02:24:10,040 --> 02:24:12,560
Speaker 2: But I'll say this to end things off. Twenty five

2811
02:24:12,680 --> 02:24:17,120
Speaker 2: is not too fucking old to be making music, you know, honestly,

2812
02:24:17,160 --> 02:24:21,359
Speaker 2: Like you're at an age where you honestly are starting.

2813
02:24:21,600 --> 02:24:25,680
Speaker 2: If you're actually, you know, putting yourself through various experiences

2814
02:24:25,720 --> 02:24:28,440
Speaker 2: in life, you actually probably have more to say than

2815
02:24:29,280 --> 02:24:31,959
Speaker 2: you know someone much younger than you, with less, you know,

2816
02:24:32,120 --> 02:24:35,600
Speaker 2: experience and less perspective on various things. That's a good point.

2817
02:24:35,600 --> 02:24:38,040
Speaker 2: You probably could put more into your art now at

2818
02:24:38,040 --> 02:24:39,959
Speaker 2: twenty five than you could at eighteen.

2819
02:24:42,080 --> 02:24:43,640
Speaker 17: Could I ask you one more thing real quick? I

2820
02:24:43,720 --> 02:24:45,560
Speaker 17: kind of forget about it because I just kind of

2821
02:24:45,560 --> 02:24:48,680
Speaker 17: got nervous when I got on. Sure, But just in

2822
02:24:48,720 --> 02:24:51,400
Speaker 17: regards to like the whole idea of feeling selfish, I

2823
02:24:51,400 --> 02:24:53,480
Speaker 17: guess I'm like that actually comes from more of a

2824
02:24:53,520 --> 02:24:56,400
Speaker 17: feeling of like, do you think it's okay to put

2825
02:24:56,840 --> 02:24:58,879
Speaker 17: a ton of time, a ton of energy, and a

2826
02:24:58,879 --> 02:25:01,720
Speaker 17: ton of money into something when you could be putting

2827
02:25:01,720 --> 02:25:04,680
Speaker 17: more time and energy into like a job and like

2828
02:25:05,320 --> 02:25:08,320
Speaker 17: opportunities or the career and take care of like a

2829
02:25:08,400 --> 02:25:10,400
Speaker 17: significant other. And you know what I mean?

2830
02:25:10,480 --> 02:25:13,879
Speaker 2: Like that, like all it's all about finding it's all

2831
02:25:13,920 --> 02:25:16,560
Speaker 2: about finding balance at the end of the day, Like obviously.

2832
02:25:16,760 --> 02:25:19,200
Speaker 2: You know, we could have all sorts of discussions about

2833
02:25:19,240 --> 02:25:22,360
Speaker 2: the economic and capitalists and societal systems that we live

2834
02:25:22,440 --> 02:25:24,360
Speaker 2: under that make it very difficult to have any leisure

2835
02:25:24,400 --> 02:25:26,320
Speaker 2: time or time to ourselves and enjoy life and so

2836
02:25:26,360 --> 02:25:28,000
Speaker 2: on and so forth, but we won't. We'll table that

2837
02:25:28,080 --> 02:25:31,600
Speaker 2: for now. But like obviously, because of the life that

2838
02:25:31,680 --> 02:25:34,879
Speaker 2: we're living under, uh, you're expected to put a certain

2839
02:25:34,879 --> 02:25:38,280
Speaker 2: amount of time into just the basic necessities of paying

2840
02:25:38,280 --> 02:25:41,640
Speaker 2: your bills, taking care of yourself. Everybody is responsible for that.

2841
02:25:41,680 --> 02:25:43,039
Speaker 2: You're going to have to do that at some point.

2842
02:25:43,080 --> 02:25:45,039
Speaker 2: You can't run away from that forever, you know, So

2843
02:25:45,080 --> 02:25:47,199
Speaker 2: there are going to be a certain amount of responsibilities

2844
02:25:47,240 --> 02:25:49,480
Speaker 2: as you become an adult, more of an adult you're

2845
02:25:49,520 --> 02:25:52,560
Speaker 2: just going to have to take on once you have

2846
02:25:52,680 --> 02:25:54,560
Speaker 2: reached a point in your life where all of that

2847
02:25:54,680 --> 02:25:57,840
Speaker 2: is taken care of. If you have free time left

2848
02:25:57,879 --> 02:26:01,560
Speaker 2: over to do things you enjoy, use that time that

2849
02:26:01,600 --> 02:26:03,959
Speaker 2: you have left over to suspend it however the fuck

2850
02:26:04,000 --> 02:26:06,960
Speaker 2: you want. There's nothing inherently wrong with whatever is your

2851
02:26:06,959 --> 02:26:09,800
Speaker 2: free time beyond taking care of yourself, paying your bills,

2852
02:26:09,879 --> 02:26:12,920
Speaker 2: keeping a roof over your head, whatever time you have leftover,

2853
02:26:12,920 --> 02:26:15,640
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with spending that time as long as

2854
02:26:15,680 --> 02:26:18,360
Speaker 2: you have no other responsibilities, just indulging in things that

2855
02:26:18,400 --> 02:26:20,360
Speaker 2: you enjoy doing. There's nothing wrong with that, especially if

2856
02:26:20,400 --> 02:26:22,920
Speaker 2: they're things that aren't destructive to your personal well being

2857
02:26:22,920 --> 02:26:24,959
Speaker 2: and health. There's nothing wrong with you know, if you

2858
02:26:25,000 --> 02:26:26,440
Speaker 2: told me that you like to spend all of your

2859
02:26:26,480 --> 02:26:28,959
Speaker 2: free time smoking crack, you know, I would probably have

2860
02:26:29,000 --> 02:26:31,360
Speaker 2: a different recommendation for you here. But because you like

2861
02:26:31,400 --> 02:26:34,200
Speaker 2: to spend your free time creating art, that's a lot

2862
02:26:34,240 --> 02:26:36,800
Speaker 2: healthier and a lot better for you personally than any

2863
02:26:36,879 --> 02:26:38,680
Speaker 2: number of things that you could be filling your idle

2864
02:26:38,680 --> 02:26:39,119
Speaker 2: time with.

2865
02:26:40,959 --> 02:26:45,160
Speaker 1: Also, you're gonna die, so make the fucking songs while

2866
02:26:45,200 --> 02:26:46,439
Speaker 1: you can, my friends.

2867
02:26:46,360 --> 02:26:47,000
Speaker 2: Right exactly.

2868
02:26:48,680 --> 02:26:53,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you feel about everything that mister Anthony

2869
02:26:53,320 --> 02:26:54,520
Speaker 1: Fantana has just told you?

2870
02:26:57,120 --> 02:26:59,120
Speaker 17: I mean, this is such a surreal moment, but I

2871
02:26:59,160 --> 02:27:03,120
Speaker 17: feel pretty good. I was having a conversation with a

2872
02:27:03,160 --> 02:27:05,680
Speaker 17: friend who was like a music mentor of mine before

2873
02:27:05,680 --> 02:27:06,960
Speaker 17: I got on this call, because I was talking to

2874
02:27:07,000 --> 02:27:09,800
Speaker 17: him about this, and it's kind of echoing the same stuff.

2875
02:27:11,240 --> 02:27:13,959
Speaker 17: So it's just kind of it's cool to hear it

2876
02:27:14,000 --> 02:27:16,240
Speaker 17: from somebody you look up to. I guess from two

2877
02:27:16,240 --> 02:27:17,120
Speaker 17: people you looked up to.

2878
02:27:17,920 --> 02:27:21,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should, like, you know, give yourself some perspective

2879
02:27:21,080 --> 02:27:22,959
Speaker 2: and the grander scheme of things. You're still pretty young.

2880
02:27:23,000 --> 02:27:24,760
Speaker 2: If you're too old to be doing what you're doing,

2881
02:27:24,760 --> 02:27:26,320
Speaker 2: you should give up. Like, what hope do I have?

2882
02:27:26,400 --> 02:27:28,760
Speaker 2: I'm pushing forty and I'm reviewing records that were produced

2883
02:27:28,760 --> 02:27:38,280
Speaker 2: by eighteen year olds. You know. Yeah, but where thank you.

2884
02:27:39,440 --> 02:27:41,000
Speaker 1: Mike real quick. I was just kidding, what kind of

2885
02:27:41,000 --> 02:27:42,080
Speaker 1: what kind of music do I make?

2886
02:27:43,720 --> 02:27:44,519
Speaker 2: Is it dubstep?

2887
02:27:46,920 --> 02:27:46,960
Speaker 3: No?

2888
02:27:47,240 --> 02:27:49,240
Speaker 17: I mean I've been I've been doing like just singer

2889
02:27:49,320 --> 02:27:53,000
Speaker 17: songwriter stuff for a long time. Okay, cool, they used

2890
02:27:53,000 --> 02:27:57,000
Speaker 17: to acoustic guitar. Now it's like way more involved with

2891
02:27:57,160 --> 02:28:01,440
Speaker 17: like Ableton and like producing these long, complicated things.

2892
02:28:01,520 --> 02:28:02,240
Speaker 7: But it's fun.

2893
02:28:02,320 --> 02:28:04,160
Speaker 5: It's a lot of fun, you know.

2894
02:28:04,480 --> 02:28:09,160
Speaker 2: Also, you know my uh uh, you know, just just

2895
02:28:09,200 --> 02:28:13,840
Speaker 2: for like personal perspective, My stepdad's a musician, yea, And

2896
02:28:14,879 --> 02:28:17,440
Speaker 2: he loves nothing more than just dicking around into studio

2897
02:28:17,480 --> 02:28:19,640
Speaker 2: all day and just making random shit and logic and

2898
02:28:19,720 --> 02:28:22,240
Speaker 2: random shit able to just uploads it to SoundCloud and

2899
02:28:22,280 --> 02:28:25,720
Speaker 2: he makes beats and plays guitar and sometimes I listen

2900
02:28:25,760 --> 02:28:28,200
Speaker 2: to the stuff he makes. It's actually insane, despite the fact,

2901
02:28:28,240 --> 02:28:29,800
Speaker 2: you know, it sounds like way out there, despite the

2902
02:28:29,800 --> 02:28:31,800
Speaker 2: fact that he doesn't know about any of the stuff

2903
02:28:31,840 --> 02:28:35,160
Speaker 2: going on in music today. And and he's a good guy.

2904
02:28:35,240 --> 02:28:37,200
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say he's a selfish guy or a bad

2905
02:28:37,200 --> 02:28:39,400
Speaker 2: guy or whatever. It's like this, it's just a hobby.

2906
02:28:39,400 --> 02:28:40,880
Speaker 2: It's just a fun thing that he likes to do.

2907
02:28:40,959 --> 02:28:42,800
Speaker 2: And some of it comes out really good. I mean,

2908
02:28:43,240 --> 02:28:45,360
Speaker 2: you know, and sometimes he puts it out there. Sometimes

2909
02:28:45,400 --> 02:28:47,280
Speaker 2: he gets a few plays, sometimes it doesn't. I mean,

2910
02:28:47,320 --> 02:28:49,240
Speaker 2: it's just something that he enjoys doing. There's nothing wrong

2911
02:28:49,280 --> 02:28:49,480
Speaker 2: with that.

2912
02:28:50,720 --> 02:28:54,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I you know, I understand. I understand this idea

2913
02:28:54,240 --> 02:28:58,640
Speaker 1: of I understand where the idea comes from of feeling

2914
02:28:58,760 --> 02:29:02,800
Speaker 1: like your only serving yourself. But then also there's you know,

2915
02:29:02,800 --> 02:29:04,600
Speaker 1: we have any touch on the whole aspect of like,

2916
02:29:04,640 --> 02:29:06,960
Speaker 1: you know, if you create music and other people like it,

2917
02:29:07,040 --> 02:29:10,480
Speaker 1: like you know, you do a lot for them in

2918
02:29:10,520 --> 02:29:11,080
Speaker 1: that sense.

2919
02:29:11,360 --> 02:29:13,600
Speaker 2: Sure that's true too. And and I get sort of

2920
02:29:13,640 --> 02:29:19,240
Speaker 2: like the idea of like, you know, wanting or having

2921
02:29:19,320 --> 02:29:22,280
Speaker 2: other responsibilities like maybe you want to partner, maybe you

2922
02:29:22,320 --> 02:29:24,080
Speaker 2: want to have kids, maybe you want to have whatever

2923
02:29:24,640 --> 02:29:27,520
Speaker 2: she was like referring to. But you know, as I said, like,

2924
02:29:28,000 --> 02:29:30,560
Speaker 2: my stepdad is a guy who did all those things right,

2925
02:29:30,920 --> 02:29:34,480
Speaker 2: and he and he always made time for either playing

2926
02:29:34,600 --> 02:29:37,320
Speaker 2: or learning or practicing or you know, especially now in

2927
02:29:37,360 --> 02:29:39,880
Speaker 2: his older age producing. So you know, he's a guy

2928
02:29:39,920 --> 02:29:42,440
Speaker 2: who took on different stages and chapters in his life,

2929
02:29:42,480 --> 02:29:45,640
Speaker 2: and his passion for music never never left him. Just

2930
02:29:45,640 --> 02:29:47,800
Speaker 2: because you're doing new things and you're taking on new

2931
02:29:47,800 --> 02:29:49,800
Speaker 2: responsibilities doesn't mean that you have to sort of like

2932
02:29:50,160 --> 02:29:52,640
Speaker 2: throw everything that you ever cared about in the garbage

2933
02:29:52,640 --> 02:29:55,640
Speaker 2: and you're like, Okay, well gotta get a regular job

2934
02:29:55,640 --> 02:29:57,840
Speaker 2: and gotta have a wife and kids. Better throw my

2935
02:29:57,920 --> 02:29:59,600
Speaker 2: love for music in the garbage. It doesn't have to

2936
02:29:59,600 --> 02:30:01,720
Speaker 2: be that way. That's that's silly, right, right right.

2937
02:30:01,800 --> 02:30:03,440
Speaker 1: It's a bit of an all or nothing kind of

2938
02:30:04,320 --> 02:30:05,560
Speaker 1: kind of a thought pattern.

2939
02:30:05,360 --> 02:30:07,640
Speaker 2: Right You're you're you're giving yourself too black and white

2940
02:30:07,720 --> 02:30:11,160
Speaker 2: of a situation to exist. And it's either I have

2941
02:30:11,240 --> 02:30:15,280
Speaker 2: to live this normal, boring, totally vanilla like you know,

2942
02:30:15,400 --> 02:30:17,400
Speaker 2: white collar life, or I need to be like the

2943
02:30:17,440 --> 02:30:20,480
Speaker 2: successful music star who's doing what they're doing full time.

2944
02:30:20,760 --> 02:30:24,400
Speaker 2: There's some musicians who I know who you know, uh,

2945
02:30:24,440 --> 02:30:26,200
Speaker 2: make a living off of what they do but then

2946
02:30:26,200 --> 02:30:28,160
Speaker 2: they also have a nine to five two you know

2947
02:30:28,280 --> 02:30:30,240
Speaker 2: that that they're able to at least maybe take some

2948
02:30:30,360 --> 02:30:33,400
Speaker 2: time off of to either tour or record or whatever.

2949
02:30:33,760 --> 02:30:37,160
Speaker 2: You know, there's lots of different ways to operate through

2950
02:30:37,160 --> 02:30:41,200
Speaker 2: this thing we call life, and you know there's no

2951
02:30:41,280 --> 02:30:43,400
Speaker 2: one right way to do it.

2952
02:30:45,280 --> 02:30:46,160
Speaker 1: Hey, feeling Mike.

2953
02:30:47,760 --> 02:30:50,040
Speaker 17: Good, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling a lot better. Thank

2954
02:30:50,080 --> 02:30:50,600
Speaker 17: you so much.

2955
02:30:51,600 --> 02:30:53,040
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

2956
02:30:53,040 --> 02:30:54,360
Speaker 1: people that competed before we go?

2957
02:30:56,080 --> 02:30:58,600
Speaker 17: I'd just like to say, I love you Mellan, thank

2958
02:30:58,640 --> 02:31:00,480
Speaker 17: you for giving no Dream such a high. Irate it,

2959
02:31:00,680 --> 02:31:04,160
Speaker 17: and I love you Lyle Uh. Thank you guys so much.

2960
02:31:04,200 --> 02:31:04,760
Speaker 2: This was great.

2961
02:31:04,879 --> 02:31:07,040
Speaker 1: Thank you, Hey, you much appreciate it.

2962
02:31:07,120 --> 02:31:08,640
Speaker 2: Man R. Let's find out about that court.

2963
02:31:09,600 --> 02:31:11,760
Speaker 1: I like, like, I could, you know, I gotta say

2964
02:31:11,879 --> 02:31:15,640
Speaker 1: I could really this stuff always makes me happy. I

2965
02:31:15,680 --> 02:31:19,480
Speaker 1: could really tell how much Mike appreciated you saying what

2966
02:31:19,520 --> 02:31:21,120
Speaker 1: you said to him and it was nice.

2967
02:31:21,240 --> 02:31:25,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, listen, it's I get fucking emails all the time.

2968
02:31:25,760 --> 02:31:29,280
Speaker 2: I'm sure you have that have that same kind of

2969
02:31:29,680 --> 02:31:33,600
Speaker 2: you know, like a concern and I'm not advocating for

2970
02:31:33,680 --> 02:31:38,840
Speaker 2: just sort of like blind negligence of everything that you

2971
02:31:38,879 --> 02:31:41,200
Speaker 2: should be sort of handling and taking care of to

2972
02:31:41,320 --> 02:31:43,640
Speaker 2: obsess over this one thing, you know, But there's there's

2973
02:31:43,640 --> 02:31:45,000
Speaker 2: a way to balance it.

2974
02:31:45,000 --> 02:31:47,840
Speaker 1: It's funny because I think, and I guess I'm not

2975
02:31:47,959 --> 02:31:50,720
Speaker 1: super keen into like we talked way back in the

2976
02:31:50,760 --> 02:31:54,280
Speaker 1: beginning of like this, you know, polarization or hostility that

2977
02:31:54,480 --> 02:31:57,560
Speaker 1: you think is a thing of as a result of

2978
02:31:58,080 --> 02:32:01,360
Speaker 1: being a critic. But you're You're not a dream crusher.

2979
02:32:01,920 --> 02:32:04,560
Speaker 1: You're the opposite. You're and you're an inspired you. You

2980
02:32:04,920 --> 02:32:07,640
Speaker 1: are liking to inspire the artists.

2981
02:32:07,680 --> 02:32:09,840
Speaker 2: Oh, I shoot on records. But the thing is, like

2982
02:32:09,879 --> 02:32:11,680
Speaker 2: I always have it in my mind that like the

2983
02:32:11,720 --> 02:32:13,039
Speaker 2: next one could be better.

2984
02:32:13,200 --> 02:32:14,920
Speaker 1: Of course, yeah, it was optimistic.

2985
02:32:15,040 --> 02:32:17,000
Speaker 2: I don't want I don't want anyone's career to be

2986
02:32:17,080 --> 02:32:18,080
Speaker 2: over because of a review.

2987
02:32:18,120 --> 02:32:20,560
Speaker 1: That nobody making a bad review means that. But I mean,

2988
02:32:20,760 --> 02:32:26,440
Speaker 1: but nobody making a bad but nobody making ten bad

2989
02:32:26,480 --> 02:32:28,920
Speaker 1: albums means that the next one's fucking doomed.

2990
02:32:28,760 --> 02:32:33,240
Speaker 2: Right exactly? I mean maybe ten, Yeah, I mean at

2991
02:32:33,480 --> 02:32:36,160
Speaker 2: the point where it's ten, maybe that person's musical style

2992
02:32:36,240 --> 02:32:38,280
Speaker 2: just isn't for you, you know, at the point where

2993
02:32:38,280 --> 02:32:40,640
Speaker 2: it's ten albums and.

2994
02:32:40,720 --> 02:32:42,879
Speaker 1: Also does this the whole aspect of it not being

2995
02:32:43,120 --> 02:32:47,720
Speaker 1: for you? You know, I find that fascinating.

2996
02:32:47,160 --> 02:32:48,920
Speaker 2: Which is fair. I think I think it's valid to

2997
02:32:48,920 --> 02:32:51,800
Speaker 2: review things based on that perspective, as long as you

2998
02:32:51,840 --> 02:32:53,680
Speaker 2: come at it from the perspective like this is just

2999
02:32:53,760 --> 02:32:54,279
Speaker 2: my opinion.

3000
02:32:54,800 --> 02:33:01,439
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, how are you Joe?

3001
02:33:01,760 --> 02:33:02,879
Speaker 3: I'm okay.

3002
02:33:02,920 --> 02:33:06,879
Speaker 14: How are you, Anthony?

3003
02:33:08,320 --> 02:33:11,760
Speaker 2: I'm glad to hear You're doing good? Joe?

3004
02:33:12,000 --> 02:33:14,680
Speaker 1: How can we help you today? What's going on? How's life?

3005
02:33:14,680 --> 02:33:16,800
Speaker 1: What is it you'd like to talk about this evening?

3006
02:33:16,959 --> 02:33:24,400
Speaker 3: Okay? So I was seeing someone and we actually first

3007
02:33:24,400 --> 02:33:27,720
Speaker 3: started hanging out during a hurricane, but our first date

3008
02:33:28,240 --> 02:33:36,240
Speaker 3: essentially was going to a funeral home together. It just

3009
02:33:36,320 --> 02:33:39,560
Speaker 3: kind of happened that I got asked if I wanted

3010
02:33:39,600 --> 02:33:42,680
Speaker 3: to go in the hearse and I was like, well,

3011
02:33:42,720 --> 02:33:46,280
Speaker 3: I've never been in a hearst before, so like why not?

3012
02:33:47,360 --> 02:33:51,160
Speaker 3: So I went with him and his friend actually, and

3013
02:33:51,200 --> 02:33:54,039
Speaker 3: then we got there, parted the hearts and they like

3014
02:33:54,080 --> 02:33:58,160
Speaker 3: want to go inside, And I mean, it.

3015
02:33:57,800 --> 02:34:02,160
Speaker 4: Is this weird to be of even wait.

3016
02:34:02,040 --> 02:34:04,600
Speaker 2: To say, what what? What? What? What's what's the reason

3017
02:34:04,640 --> 02:34:06,760
Speaker 2: for all this access? Does this guy does? Does this

3018
02:34:06,800 --> 02:34:09,320
Speaker 2: guy work at the mortuary or at the funeral.

3019
02:34:08,920 --> 02:34:14,280
Speaker 3: Home his friend currently does, but he used to as

3020
02:34:14,400 --> 02:34:16,240
Speaker 3: like body removal.

3021
02:34:17,000 --> 02:34:18,840
Speaker 2: Got it, okay, So so that's the reason he had

3022
02:34:18,879 --> 02:34:20,400
Speaker 2: access to the hearse in the first place.

3023
02:34:22,240 --> 02:34:27,600
Speaker 3: Yes, he was driving the hearse and need to return it, okay.

3024
02:34:27,760 --> 02:34:33,280
Speaker 2: And so so was this really a date? It just

3025
02:34:33,320 --> 02:34:35,160
Speaker 2: kind of sounds like this guy was a little weird

3026
02:34:35,200 --> 02:34:37,240
Speaker 2: and morbid and want and wanted to show you some

3027
02:34:37,280 --> 02:34:40,360
Speaker 2: dead stuff and just why why would that make it

3028
02:34:40,520 --> 02:34:41,560
Speaker 2: just to see how you would react?

3029
02:34:41,560 --> 02:34:42,840
Speaker 1: Why would that make it not a date?

3030
02:34:46,480 --> 02:34:48,440
Speaker 2: Was it was that involved.

3031
02:34:50,240 --> 02:34:52,720
Speaker 1: You? It sounds can I say, it sounds like you're

3032
02:34:52,720 --> 02:34:57,080
Speaker 1: into fucked up like more like what's the word macabre?

3033
02:34:57,280 --> 02:34:59,199
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're into micabre stuff too.

3034
02:35:01,840 --> 02:35:08,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean kind of. I like don't outwardly express

3035
02:35:08,320 --> 02:35:10,320
Speaker 3: in a way that I'm into those things, but like

3036
02:35:10,400 --> 02:35:13,280
Speaker 3: my art is very dark, so I feel like people

3037
02:35:13,280 --> 02:35:15,800
Speaker 3: don't assume that about me. But he definitely had like

3038
02:35:16,000 --> 02:35:18,760
Speaker 3: seen my artwork and things like that, Okay, So I

3039
02:35:18,760 --> 02:35:22,160
Speaker 3: think he like at the time it was like also

3040
02:35:22,400 --> 02:35:25,039
Speaker 3: kind of around Halloween and like I was doing a

3041
02:35:25,040 --> 02:35:28,400
Speaker 3: lot of gore special effects makeup stuff like that.

3042
02:35:30,120 --> 02:35:31,160
Speaker 2: Is anyone in the situation.

3043
02:35:31,240 --> 02:35:37,320
Speaker 3: Else I would say my best friend is but I'm

3044
02:35:37,360 --> 02:35:40,400
Speaker 3: not like I wear Lulu Lemon, like I look like

3045
02:35:40,440 --> 02:35:44,080
Speaker 3: a basic bitch. I have blond hair, blue eyes, tails, fuckskin,

3046
02:35:44,320 --> 02:35:45,400
Speaker 3: But I'm like, your mind is.

3047
02:35:45,400 --> 02:35:47,560
Speaker 2: Just filled with disturbing images that you have to get

3048
02:35:47,560 --> 02:35:49,840
Speaker 2: out on in an artistic fashion.

3049
02:35:50,040 --> 02:35:54,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, well to press to preface this, I've had a

3050
02:35:54,600 --> 02:35:57,320
Speaker 3: bunch of fucked things happen in my life. But this summer,

3051
02:35:57,720 --> 02:35:58,440
Speaker 3: when I was in New.

3052
02:35:58,400 --> 02:36:02,120
Speaker 14: York City, I witnessed like two different murders.

3053
02:36:01,360 --> 02:36:05,840
Speaker 3: Like different parts of different murders. So that kind of

3054
02:36:06,120 --> 02:36:07,880
Speaker 3: that was like the first time I saw a dead

3055
02:36:07,879 --> 02:36:10,240
Speaker 3: body was in this summer, So that was.

3056
02:36:10,200 --> 02:36:12,440
Speaker 11: Like a lot.

3057
02:36:13,920 --> 02:36:16,920
Speaker 2: So in regards to this, like you know, corpse trip

3058
02:36:17,000 --> 02:36:21,320
Speaker 2: that this person took you on, like are you process

3059
02:36:21,360 --> 02:36:24,200
Speaker 2: are you are you seeking guidance or understanding and how

3060
02:36:24,200 --> 02:36:26,199
Speaker 2: to process it? Are you feeling some type of way

3061
02:36:26,200 --> 02:36:28,840
Speaker 2: about the whole situation or.

3062
02:36:30,560 --> 02:36:33,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that it kind of sent me into

3063
02:36:33,400 --> 02:36:36,920
Speaker 3: a spiral. I didn't expect because with the stuff that

3064
02:36:37,000 --> 02:36:40,480
Speaker 3: happened this summer, I had a really hard time processing

3065
02:36:40,520 --> 02:36:43,560
Speaker 3: it at first. But my mom is a firefighter and

3066
02:36:43,600 --> 02:36:48,039
Speaker 3: she was like, move on, like I've seen dead bodies

3067
02:36:48,080 --> 02:36:49,480
Speaker 3: and like, it's not that big of a deal. And

3068
02:36:49,520 --> 02:36:52,000
Speaker 3: I started to feel guilty, Like there are people in

3069
02:36:52,080 --> 02:36:55,200
Speaker 3: war stricken countries that see the ship as kids, Like

3070
02:36:55,360 --> 02:36:56,280
Speaker 3: it's not that big of a deal.

3071
02:36:56,320 --> 02:36:58,000
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, but they do. But no, no, no, no,

3072
02:36:58,160 --> 02:37:00,000
Speaker 2: don't don't. Don't don't say that. Don't say that, because

3073
02:37:00,000 --> 02:37:04,360
Speaker 2: because for those kids, they're traumatized too. And while your

3074
02:37:04,400 --> 02:37:07,520
Speaker 2: mom I'm sure has seen some horrible things and has

3075
02:37:07,600 --> 02:37:10,680
Speaker 2: had to push through that dude to her job. You know,

3076
02:37:10,840 --> 02:37:14,840
Speaker 2: witnessing surprise, witnessing a murder is kind of a different

3077
02:37:14,879 --> 02:37:17,520
Speaker 2: thing than being somebody who's a first responder knowing that

3078
02:37:17,560 --> 02:37:20,039
Speaker 2: the likelihood is high that you may go into a

3079
02:37:20,040 --> 02:37:21,439
Speaker 2: situation that is dangerous.

3080
02:37:21,640 --> 02:37:24,000
Speaker 1: I'm still I still want to know we haven't gotten

3081
02:37:24,000 --> 02:37:28,760
Speaker 1: into this. How, Like how was the date with the guy?

3082
02:37:28,959 --> 02:37:29,800
Speaker 1: Like the date?

3083
02:37:30,320 --> 02:37:34,920
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, let's find of guy. So first we went

3084
02:37:35,040 --> 02:37:38,760
Speaker 3: in and then he like took me into this one

3085
02:37:38,800 --> 02:37:40,160
Speaker 3: room and I thought it was just going to be

3086
02:37:40,160 --> 02:37:42,039
Speaker 3: like to see the tools and stuff, like it was

3087
02:37:42,080 --> 02:37:46,720
Speaker 3: pretty like aesthetically pleasing, so I'm like looking around whatever,

3088
02:37:47,040 --> 02:37:52,720
Speaker 3: and then I noticed that there's like two like what strutchers,

3089
02:37:52,760 --> 02:37:58,320
Speaker 3: I guess with blue sheets over them, and I like process, like, okay,

3090
02:37:58,400 --> 02:38:01,240
Speaker 3: those are people. And then he walked over and like

3091
02:38:01,440 --> 02:38:04,800
Speaker 3: uncovers them, and I'm like, oh, and I didn't. I

3092
02:38:04,840 --> 02:38:07,039
Speaker 3: just didn't say anything. I just my mouth was just

3093
02:38:07,160 --> 02:38:09,000
Speaker 3: open and I just didn't say anything. He's like, oh,

3094
02:38:09,040 --> 02:38:09,840
Speaker 3: is this too much?

3095
02:38:11,520 --> 02:38:12,200
Speaker 1: And I was like.

3096
02:38:14,400 --> 02:38:15,000
Speaker 14: It's cool.

3097
02:38:16,160 --> 02:38:19,440
Speaker 1: What can I so after? Are you can I ask this?

3098
02:38:19,760 --> 02:38:24,000
Speaker 1: Are you did it go in such a way that

3099
02:38:24,120 --> 02:38:26,720
Speaker 1: you would like to see him again?

3100
02:38:28,360 --> 02:38:28,880
Speaker 6: I have?

3101
02:38:29,480 --> 02:38:31,800
Speaker 3: And I mean it went from that to then he

3102
02:38:31,840 --> 02:38:33,760
Speaker 3: took Then there was a freezer, and then there were

3103
02:38:33,800 --> 02:38:37,240
Speaker 3: a lot more bodies in the freezer, and then we

3104
02:38:37,280 --> 02:38:39,960
Speaker 3: went and sat in like where they have the services

3105
02:38:40,560 --> 02:38:43,280
Speaker 3: and his friend played the piano and we like sat

3106
02:38:43,320 --> 02:38:46,199
Speaker 3: there and listened to me and it was kind of romantic.

3107
02:38:47,000 --> 02:38:50,400
Speaker 3: But yeah, and then I kept saying, so I.

3108
02:38:50,320 --> 02:38:53,520
Speaker 1: Can't and like, just forgive me if this I just

3109
02:38:54,520 --> 02:38:56,080
Speaker 1: I can't tell if you had a good time on

3110
02:38:56,120 --> 02:38:59,119
Speaker 1: this date or not, right, because you're saying it's romantic

3111
02:38:59,280 --> 02:39:01,959
Speaker 1: and then you saw the guy again, but also then

3112
02:39:02,000 --> 02:39:03,640
Speaker 1: you were traumatized.

3113
02:39:03,520 --> 02:39:04,400
Speaker 2: That were triggering.

3114
02:39:04,560 --> 02:39:07,360
Speaker 14: Yeah, I don't know either, Like.

3115
02:39:08,800 --> 02:39:11,959
Speaker 2: So okay, okay, So so you've seen this guy again

3116
02:39:12,000 --> 02:39:12,760
Speaker 2: since then? Right?

3117
02:39:14,480 --> 02:39:14,840
Speaker 14: Yes?

3118
02:39:15,480 --> 02:39:18,560
Speaker 2: Okay, Now when you saw him again, did you have

3119
02:39:18,640 --> 02:39:21,119
Speaker 2: a normal date or did you go back to your

3120
02:39:21,160 --> 02:39:24,520
Speaker 2: dead bodies and have another hang out with them? Like,

3121
02:39:24,640 --> 02:39:27,480
Speaker 2: you know, is this guy capable of like, can this

3122
02:39:27,520 --> 02:39:29,920
Speaker 2: guy take you to a movie or you know, bring

3123
02:39:29,920 --> 02:39:31,840
Speaker 2: you out to dinner or maybe like you know, hit

3124
02:39:31,920 --> 02:39:34,680
Speaker 2: the arcade with you or whenever you hang out with him?

3125
02:39:34,959 --> 02:39:36,600
Speaker 2: Is he just bringing you to the dead body place?

3126
02:39:36,800 --> 02:39:39,880
Speaker 1: But if he's a vampire, I think I'm imagining him

3127
02:39:39,920 --> 02:39:41,360
Speaker 1: as like I.

3128
02:39:41,360 --> 02:39:43,840
Speaker 2: Think they prefer fresh, fresh, fresh meat fresh.

3129
02:39:43,920 --> 02:39:45,000
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true, that's true.

3130
02:39:45,080 --> 02:39:46,640
Speaker 2: But but but yeah, have you have you been going

3131
02:39:46,680 --> 02:39:47,879
Speaker 2: on regular dates since this?

3132
02:39:52,800 --> 02:39:55,240
Speaker 3: Well we went to a museum.

3133
02:39:55,800 --> 02:39:57,720
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a regular date.

3134
02:39:58,800 --> 02:40:01,480
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, wait what the kind of museum was it?

3135
02:40:06,000 --> 02:40:09,760
Speaker 3: I can't really explain without giving away too much of

3136
02:40:09,800 --> 02:40:14,080
Speaker 3: my location. And technically this stuff before is like possibly illegal,

3137
02:40:14,480 --> 02:40:16,640
Speaker 3: so I'm not going to say. But it was definitely

3138
02:40:16,720 --> 02:40:19,440
Speaker 3: like a weird museum, not an art museum, but kind of.

3139
02:40:20,080 --> 02:40:22,560
Speaker 2: But I don't dead things that were now were there

3140
02:40:22,600 --> 02:40:24,279
Speaker 2: dead things in this museum.

3141
02:40:23,920 --> 02:40:24,400
Speaker 15: That there were?

3142
02:40:24,840 --> 02:40:27,920
Speaker 2: Actually it's not like it's not like a museum where

3143
02:40:27,920 --> 02:40:30,560
Speaker 2: they have taxidermied animals. There's like weird dead stuff in it.

3144
02:40:31,959 --> 02:40:34,120
Speaker 3: No, there were talks to animals too. It's like it's

3145
02:40:34,120 --> 02:40:34,800
Speaker 3: like a collection.

3146
02:40:35,840 --> 02:40:38,280
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, I don't, okay, I don't. I kind of

3147
02:40:38,280 --> 02:40:39,920
Speaker 1: want to guess it because I have an idea of

3148
02:40:40,080 --> 02:40:42,560
Speaker 1: what it is, but also I don't want it.

3149
02:40:43,920 --> 02:40:45,840
Speaker 2: You go to the weird did you go to?

3150
02:40:45,920 --> 02:40:53,280
Speaker 1: Do you go to the mother museum? So what mother museum? No?

3151
02:40:54,160 --> 02:40:55,039
Speaker 1: Is that what it's called?

3152
02:40:55,120 --> 02:40:55,400
Speaker 2: Nor mind?

3153
02:40:55,440 --> 02:40:56,240
Speaker 1: This is a museum in Philly.

3154
02:40:56,280 --> 02:40:59,560
Speaker 2: I think it's called the mud Museum that has like okay, okay, okay, okay,

3155
02:40:59,560 --> 02:41:01,600
Speaker 2: he took you another like we don't want me to

3156
02:41:01,600 --> 02:41:04,000
Speaker 2: give up your location. Was this a weird museum? Was

3157
02:41:04,000 --> 02:41:04,440
Speaker 2: it weird?

3158
02:41:06,120 --> 02:41:06,320
Speaker 5: Yeah?

3159
02:41:06,360 --> 02:41:10,240
Speaker 3: I mean it's been weird every time and then it

3160
02:41:10,480 --> 02:41:10,920
Speaker 3: I mean.

3161
02:41:10,800 --> 02:41:12,400
Speaker 15: Like how many how many times you?

3162
02:41:14,959 --> 02:41:16,920
Speaker 3: Oh, I've seen him a lot of times, but it's

3163
02:41:16,959 --> 02:41:18,200
Speaker 3: never been normal.

3164
02:41:18,959 --> 02:41:21,880
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, every single time you see him.

3165
02:41:21,920 --> 02:41:25,360
Speaker 2: It's here's here's my question. Okay, do you enjoy this

3166
02:41:25,400 --> 02:41:28,160
Speaker 2: guy's company or is he just consistently weirding you out?

3167
02:41:28,280 --> 02:41:31,160
Speaker 2: Or are you in some way attracted to that?

3168
02:41:36,680 --> 02:41:41,000
Speaker 3: I think maybe I think that I struggle with the

3169
02:41:41,080 --> 02:41:45,080
Speaker 3: balance of that, like I am on the outside, I

3170
02:41:45,200 --> 02:41:48,640
Speaker 3: look very simple and basic, where I do appreciate when

3171
02:41:48,680 --> 02:41:51,400
Speaker 3: people can understand that maybe I might be interested in

3172
02:41:51,600 --> 02:41:53,959
Speaker 3: things like that. Like I mean, I listen to this

3173
02:41:54,000 --> 02:41:58,080
Speaker 3: stream all the time. I'm like a fairly chronically online person,

3174
02:41:58,360 --> 02:42:02,320
Speaker 3: and I enjoy lots of dark things. Did I just

3175
02:42:02,720 --> 02:42:07,160
Speaker 3: also feel like wouldn't be just they get overlooked And

3176
02:42:07,200 --> 02:42:09,760
Speaker 3: I feel like, I don't think I'm a very beautiful person,

3177
02:42:09,800 --> 02:42:12,199
Speaker 3: but I'm conventionally attractive, so I get put into a box.

3178
02:42:12,240 --> 02:42:15,080
Speaker 3: So I end up going for guys that do treat

3179
02:42:15,080 --> 02:42:17,400
Speaker 3: me in like kind of an extreme way.

3180
02:42:17,400 --> 02:42:18,920
Speaker 14: Because then and I didn't think.

3181
02:42:18,800 --> 02:42:21,040
Speaker 3: I liked him, and I tried to move on. I

3182
02:42:21,320 --> 02:42:24,680
Speaker 3: went on to normal dates with another guy, and then

3183
02:42:24,720 --> 02:42:26,920
Speaker 3: I still was like thinking about him, and I was.

3184
02:42:26,879 --> 02:42:31,960
Speaker 2: Like, dang, is this guy similar to you as you're describing.

3185
02:42:32,040 --> 02:42:33,600
Speaker 2: Is he kind of like you know, quote unquote a

3186
02:42:33,600 --> 02:42:35,680
Speaker 2: basic bitch too, but he's kind of into dark stuff?

3187
02:42:36,120 --> 02:42:40,720
Speaker 3: No, a Chad, He's like, No, he's like a nerdy

3188
02:42:40,760 --> 02:42:41,400
Speaker 3: emo boy.

3189
02:42:42,320 --> 02:42:44,400
Speaker 2: Okay, he's a nerdy emo boy. I mean, you know

3190
02:42:44,520 --> 02:42:48,800
Speaker 2: that's that's fine. Okay, here's the most important thing. Okay,

3191
02:42:48,800 --> 02:42:50,920
Speaker 2: So this guy's taking you on weird dates, like in

3192
02:42:51,240 --> 02:42:54,400
Speaker 2: terms of a personal dynamic with him, do you feel

3193
02:42:54,440 --> 02:42:56,440
Speaker 2: safe with him and around him? Does he put you

3194
02:42:56,520 --> 02:42:58,720
Speaker 2: off in any kind of weird way outside of like

3195
02:42:58,760 --> 02:43:02,000
Speaker 2: going on these odd little excursions, like you know, when

3196
02:43:02,000 --> 02:43:04,520
Speaker 2: you guys talk, do you feel like you can be

3197
02:43:04,600 --> 02:43:07,080
Speaker 2: open with him? You know? Can you guys laugh together?

3198
02:43:07,200 --> 02:43:08,720
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you have a crush on him?

3199
02:43:08,720 --> 02:43:09,879
Speaker 2: Do you feel like he has a crush on you?

3200
02:43:09,879 --> 02:43:12,680
Speaker 2: Do you feel like he treats you nicely? You know?

3201
02:43:12,800 --> 02:43:15,640
Speaker 2: Or you know, are there other red flags in a

3202
02:43:15,680 --> 02:43:21,000
Speaker 2: way because maybe just him or you and you are

3203
02:43:21,040 --> 02:43:22,440
Speaker 2: into dark stuff, right?

3204
02:43:22,480 --> 02:43:24,360
Speaker 1: I want to hear more about the actual relate and

3205
02:43:24,360 --> 02:43:26,039
Speaker 1: not like what's the relationship with you?

3206
02:43:26,360 --> 02:43:29,439
Speaker 2: Because listen, as long as you have like healthy relationship

3207
02:43:29,480 --> 02:43:32,600
Speaker 2: foundations going on, being into dark stuff is okay, you know,

3208
02:43:32,680 --> 02:43:35,280
Speaker 2: as long as there's not like any kind of mistreatment

3209
02:43:35,480 --> 02:43:37,959
Speaker 2: and openness and there's honesty there. Like, as long as

3210
02:43:37,959 --> 02:43:39,680
Speaker 2: that stuff is happening, you guys can be into as

3211
02:43:39,760 --> 02:43:41,120
Speaker 2: much weird dark shit as you want.

3212
02:43:41,160 --> 02:43:44,320
Speaker 1: So, so tell us about the actual person himself and

3213
02:43:44,360 --> 02:43:45,600
Speaker 1: the relationship that you guys have.

3214
02:43:48,240 --> 02:43:55,640
Speaker 14: Whoa I over the break.

3215
02:43:55,680 --> 02:43:57,920
Speaker 3: I'm in college, so like over the winter break, I

3216
02:43:58,000 --> 02:44:02,119
Speaker 3: went home. I was having a pretty difficult time mentally,

3217
02:44:02,840 --> 02:44:06,280
Speaker 3: and I think that he also struggles mentally, and my

3218
02:44:06,400 --> 02:44:10,480
Speaker 3: roommate and best friends are like, she's also struggling mentally.

3219
02:44:11,000 --> 02:44:12,760
Speaker 14: So it was kind of a lot and I kind of.

3220
02:44:12,680 --> 02:44:14,440
Speaker 3: Went home and stepped away from all of it and

3221
02:44:14,560 --> 02:44:16,320
Speaker 3: was like, I don't know how I'm going to get

3222
02:44:16,360 --> 02:44:18,880
Speaker 3: better if I'm trying to fix all these other people

3223
02:44:18,920 --> 02:44:23,280
Speaker 3: around me. And so I think that that's an issue currently,

3224
02:44:23,480 --> 02:44:26,600
Speaker 3: is that I feel really enabled in my bad habits

3225
02:44:26,640 --> 02:44:29,480
Speaker 3: when I'm around these people, but they're also the people

3226
02:44:29,480 --> 02:44:31,680
Speaker 3: that I care about, because I do feel like I

3227
02:44:31,720 --> 02:44:33,600
Speaker 3: care about them, especially my best friend.

3228
02:44:35,680 --> 02:44:36,520
Speaker 14: But I do.

3229
02:44:37,000 --> 02:44:41,560
Speaker 3: So, yeah, I have kind of had destructive habits.

3230
02:44:42,200 --> 02:44:44,760
Speaker 2: What bad or destructive habits are you? I don't know.

3231
02:44:44,920 --> 02:44:48,920
Speaker 14: I don't know how triggering I should be on here.

3232
02:44:49,920 --> 02:44:52,120
Speaker 3: I don't want to say anything to bigger people.

3233
02:44:52,320 --> 02:44:54,800
Speaker 2: So it's stuff that is the stuff that you would

3234
02:44:54,879 --> 02:44:57,680
Speaker 2: characterize as being destructive to yourself.

3235
02:44:59,760 --> 02:45:03,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Like it's not hurting other it's not anything

3236
02:45:03,280 --> 02:45:04,680
Speaker 3: that is harming other people.

3237
02:45:04,800 --> 02:45:07,680
Speaker 4: It's like just all like and.

3238
02:45:07,560 --> 02:45:10,520
Speaker 2: And this this guy also influences you in this way too,

3239
02:45:10,640 --> 02:45:12,120
Speaker 2: or just these friends that you're talking about.

3240
02:45:13,959 --> 02:45:16,480
Speaker 3: Well, I think with a particular instance is something that

3241
02:45:16,600 --> 02:45:19,240
Speaker 3: was that I was really struggling with and still somewhat

3242
02:45:19,320 --> 02:45:22,600
Speaker 3: am like he just knew about it and overlooked it

3243
02:45:22,640 --> 02:45:25,480
Speaker 3: and then kind of the red flag that I mean.

3244
02:45:25,360 --> 02:45:26,800
Speaker 14: Obviously there were other red flags.

3245
02:45:26,800 --> 02:45:28,440
Speaker 3: With the red flag that made me kind of distance

3246
02:45:28,520 --> 02:45:30,600
Speaker 3: myself was that he like made jokes about it in

3247
02:45:30,600 --> 02:45:33,520
Speaker 3: front of other people and like never talk to me

3248
02:45:33,600 --> 02:45:36,160
Speaker 3: about it, like, and he was the only one that

3249
02:45:36,320 --> 02:45:38,200
Speaker 3: really knew what was happening.

3250
02:45:39,120 --> 02:45:42,760
Speaker 2: Respect is a pretty pivotal thing in any relationship, be

3251
02:45:42,800 --> 02:45:45,240
Speaker 2: it platonic or romantic. And if he's sort of like

3252
02:45:46,080 --> 02:45:48,760
Speaker 2: airing out your dirty laundry like that and then making

3253
02:45:48,879 --> 02:45:50,600
Speaker 2: light of it and sort of making you the butt

3254
02:45:50,640 --> 02:45:54,240
Speaker 2: of a joke, like, that's that's that's that's a level

3255
02:45:54,280 --> 02:45:56,520
Speaker 2: of insensitivity that you shouldn't be subjecting yourself to.

3256
02:46:00,160 --> 02:46:04,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that I if I get into the

3257
02:46:04,480 --> 02:46:07,240
Speaker 3: whole analysis of like my own brain, and where I

3258
02:46:07,280 --> 02:46:10,280
Speaker 3: feel like this comes from is that like I don't

3259
02:46:10,280 --> 02:46:12,040
Speaker 3: know who my dad is, and I had like a

3260
02:46:12,080 --> 02:46:14,879
Speaker 3: fairly absent mother, and I feel.

3261
02:46:14,520 --> 02:46:16,680
Speaker 14: Like I and I my first.

3262
02:46:16,360 --> 02:46:19,640
Speaker 3: Ever real boyfriend was like abusive to the point that

3263
02:46:19,959 --> 02:46:21,959
Speaker 3: then he tried to murder the girlfriend after me and

3264
02:46:22,000 --> 02:46:24,680
Speaker 3: went to jail, like he was insane. And I've just

3265
02:46:24,800 --> 02:46:28,720
Speaker 3: had consistently I've chosen the wrong thing, and I don't

3266
02:46:28,720 --> 02:46:31,959
Speaker 3: even know how to look for the right thing. If

3267
02:46:31,959 --> 02:46:36,200
Speaker 3: I've just been like I don't know. Obviously, these are

3268
02:46:36,240 --> 02:46:39,000
Speaker 3: red flags, like I'm not stupid, but at the same time,

3269
02:46:39,040 --> 02:46:41,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know if it's that I deserve

3270
02:46:41,680 --> 02:46:44,200
Speaker 3: it or if it's a I don't know any better,

3271
02:46:44,240 --> 02:46:45,920
Speaker 3: but I don't know how to overcome that.

3272
02:46:46,720 --> 02:46:49,160
Speaker 2: If if you feel comfortable saying so, how old are you,

3273
02:46:51,200 --> 02:46:54,440
Speaker 2: I'm twenty one, Okay, you're You're still at a pretty

3274
02:46:54,480 --> 02:46:57,640
Speaker 2: young age in terms of like understanding the dynamics of relationships.

3275
02:46:58,200 --> 02:47:00,880
Speaker 2: A lot of people don't even really know or understand

3276
02:47:02,480 --> 02:47:05,480
Speaker 2: what an ideal relationship or what a relationship that would

3277
02:47:05,480 --> 02:47:07,600
Speaker 2: be fulfilling to them looks like until they're in there

3278
02:47:08,400 --> 02:47:12,680
Speaker 2: mid to late twenties thirties. Honestly, if I'm being if

3279
02:47:12,720 --> 02:47:16,120
Speaker 2: I'm being real with you, you know, at this point,

3280
02:47:16,440 --> 02:47:18,920
Speaker 2: take solace in the fact that you are beginning to

3281
02:47:19,040 --> 02:47:23,680
Speaker 2: learn what is bad or what isn't working for you, Because,

3282
02:47:23,720 --> 02:47:25,600
Speaker 2: as we were sort of saying earlier with you know,

3283
02:47:25,959 --> 02:47:30,400
Speaker 2: an earlier caller, some people, for whatever reasons that they

3284
02:47:30,400 --> 02:47:33,200
Speaker 2: do see the red flags and they stick in a

3285
02:47:33,240 --> 02:47:35,440
Speaker 2: relationship or they stick in a situation even though they

3286
02:47:35,440 --> 02:47:37,039
Speaker 2: know it's bad, even though they know it's not good

3287
02:47:37,040 --> 02:47:39,600
Speaker 2: for them, even though they know it's toxic or heading

3288
02:47:39,600 --> 02:47:43,440
Speaker 2: to a bad place. You know, it sounds like you're

3289
02:47:43,480 --> 02:47:48,760
Speaker 2: at least grabbing an understanding of that at the age

3290
02:47:48,760 --> 02:47:51,440
Speaker 2: that you are, to the point where you're seeing these behaviors.

3291
02:47:51,520 --> 02:47:53,960
Speaker 2: You're seeing the way that you're being treated by this guy,

3292
02:47:54,160 --> 02:47:56,200
Speaker 2: by previous boyfriends, so on and so forth, and you're like,

3293
02:47:56,240 --> 02:47:58,560
Speaker 2: I don't like this. This isn't good. This is bad,

3294
02:47:58,920 --> 02:48:02,800
Speaker 2: you know. And that's a thing. Some people will experience

3295
02:48:02,840 --> 02:48:05,200
Speaker 2: that same behavior and be like, oh, well, you know,

3296
02:48:05,280 --> 02:48:07,440
Speaker 2: he didn't mean that, or I'm trying to see the

3297
02:48:07,520 --> 02:48:09,480
Speaker 2: humanity in him, or you know, the way that he

3298
02:48:10,360 --> 02:48:12,000
Speaker 2: did this or this violent thing or this other thing

3299
02:48:12,080 --> 02:48:13,640
Speaker 2: was just a mistake. That's not the real hymn, that's

3300
02:48:13,640 --> 02:48:16,800
Speaker 2: the whatever. You know. It's like, you're you're doing good

3301
02:48:16,800 --> 02:48:19,160
Speaker 2: by realizing this is bad for me, this is not

3302
02:48:19,200 --> 02:48:21,039
Speaker 2: a good thing, and I need to distance myself from it.

3303
02:48:21,080 --> 02:48:24,920
Speaker 2: That's good. That's good. Don't be hard on yourself for

3304
02:48:25,040 --> 02:48:28,120
Speaker 2: not knowing it at the age of twenty one, Like, what,

3305
02:48:28,680 --> 02:48:31,480
Speaker 2: what's an ideal relationship that would make me fulfilled and

3306
02:48:31,520 --> 02:48:34,360
Speaker 2: happy and work within my life? Be You're not even

3307
02:48:34,440 --> 02:48:37,560
Speaker 2: established in what could potentially be your career yet, you know.

3308
02:48:37,600 --> 02:48:40,520
Speaker 2: It's like you don't even know what an ideal life

3309
02:48:40,560 --> 02:48:43,360
Speaker 2: would look for you yet living independently much less with

3310
02:48:43,400 --> 02:48:45,840
Speaker 2: someone else. So you know, again, don't be hard on

3311
02:48:45,879 --> 02:48:48,160
Speaker 2: you for not knowing, Like, oh, well, what are the

3312
02:48:48,200 --> 02:48:49,879
Speaker 2: good things I need to find? You'll figure that out

3313
02:48:49,920 --> 02:48:52,280
Speaker 2: with time. You know, you'll figure that out with time.

3314
02:48:52,280 --> 02:48:55,200
Speaker 2: As you meet and talk with more people and meet

3315
02:48:55,320 --> 02:48:59,080
Speaker 2: different people and have a variety of different experiences platonically

3316
02:48:59,160 --> 02:49:02,640
Speaker 2: and romantically, you'll find out I like these kinds of interactions.

3317
02:49:02,720 --> 02:49:05,160
Speaker 2: I don't like these kinds of interactions. I like being

3318
02:49:05,560 --> 02:49:07,920
Speaker 2: treated this way, I don't like being treated that way.

3319
02:49:08,120 --> 02:49:10,760
Speaker 2: You know, look up things like what are my love languages?

3320
02:49:10,800 --> 02:49:12,240
Speaker 2: What are the ways in which I feel like I

3321
02:49:12,320 --> 02:49:16,840
Speaker 2: express affection? Do you do it mostly through discussion, words, gifts,

3322
02:49:16,879 --> 02:49:20,280
Speaker 2: physical touch? You know, explore these things, think about these things.

3323
02:49:20,280 --> 02:49:22,760
Speaker 2: But just know that all of this stuff is going

3324
02:49:22,800 --> 02:49:25,480
Speaker 2: to come with time, you know, don't be upset that

3325
02:49:25,520 --> 02:49:27,440
Speaker 2: you don't know and understand all of it at twenty one.

3326
02:49:27,520 --> 02:49:29,960
Speaker 2: I'm almost forty, and I'm still getting a grasp of

3327
02:49:30,040 --> 02:49:34,440
Speaker 2: this stuff at my age. So give yourself time and

3328
02:49:34,480 --> 02:49:40,240
Speaker 2: be happy that you have escaped thus far a couple

3329
02:49:40,240 --> 02:49:42,000
Speaker 2: of situations that could have been a lot worse if

3330
02:49:42,040 --> 02:49:47,760
Speaker 2: you stuck with them. You know, be be be vigilant

3331
02:49:48,440 --> 02:49:52,080
Speaker 2: and trust in your ability to sniff out red flags

3332
02:49:52,080 --> 02:49:55,400
Speaker 2: when you see them, and when you see them back off.

3333
02:50:00,680 --> 02:50:01,160
Speaker 14: Thank you.

3334
02:50:01,400 --> 02:50:04,080
Speaker 3: That's all I like really needed to hear that.

3335
02:50:06,560 --> 02:50:10,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, and again, there's there's nothing wrong with like being

3336
02:50:10,120 --> 02:50:14,680
Speaker 2: into dark stuff or having experiences in your past that

3337
02:50:14,720 --> 02:50:20,360
Speaker 2: were traumatic and expressing that or you know through either

3338
02:50:20,600 --> 02:50:25,480
Speaker 2: art or you know, other you know, experiences where it's

3339
02:50:25,520 --> 02:50:27,280
Speaker 2: like low stakes or whatever. Because maybe you have a

3340
02:50:27,320 --> 02:50:30,200
Speaker 2: curiosity because of something that you've gone through. That's that's fine,

3341
02:50:30,280 --> 02:50:33,080
Speaker 2: that's healthy, that's normal. Lots of people have that, you know.

3342
02:50:33,120 --> 02:50:35,120
Speaker 2: It's the it's the other things, the type of treatment

3343
02:50:35,120 --> 02:50:38,280
Speaker 2: that you were describing that's the bad thing, you know,

3344
02:50:38,400 --> 02:50:41,520
Speaker 2: the minimization or the maid to be a joke of

3345
02:50:41,560 --> 02:50:43,840
Speaker 2: your experiences and your pain and so on and so forth.

3346
02:50:43,879 --> 02:50:45,760
Speaker 2: That's what you don't want to have anything to do with.

3347
02:50:50,400 --> 02:50:51,199
Speaker 1: Hey, you feeling, Joe.

3348
02:50:54,040 --> 02:51:00,320
Speaker 3: I'm feeling somewhat relieved and validated and also like this

3349
02:51:00,480 --> 02:51:02,920
Speaker 3: is breaking the fourth wall in a way.

3350
02:51:03,320 --> 02:51:14,240
Speaker 1: And good good mhmm, yeah, I think.

3351
02:51:17,080 --> 02:51:17,320
Speaker 2: I.

3352
02:51:17,320 --> 02:51:20,080
Speaker 1: I I liked everything you were saying, man about how

3353
02:51:20,240 --> 02:51:24,440
Speaker 1: like you need to you, well, you need to kind

3354
02:51:24,440 --> 02:51:29,560
Speaker 1: of like let yourself be okay with just learning these

3355
02:51:29,600 --> 02:51:34,000
Speaker 1: things by experience and not like beating yourself up about it.

3356
02:51:34,120 --> 02:51:39,039
Speaker 1: Especially I I it was sad to hear you say

3357
02:51:39,120 --> 02:51:42,600
Speaker 1: that you felt like you somehow deserved it. Yeah, you know,

3358
02:51:42,720 --> 02:51:48,800
Speaker 1: because that's that's not that's not true, And I don't

3359
02:51:48,800 --> 02:51:50,760
Speaker 1: I don't. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, because

3360
02:51:51,040 --> 02:51:53,600
Speaker 1: it's you're in, as you were saying, man, you know

3361
02:51:53,879 --> 02:51:55,519
Speaker 1: very much a learning process.

3362
02:51:55,959 --> 02:52:01,519
Speaker 2: That's that's a common experience with people that experience prolonged

3363
02:52:01,520 --> 02:52:04,360
Speaker 2: bouts of either mistreatment or abuse or whatever, because sometimes

3364
02:52:04,440 --> 02:52:06,760
Speaker 2: the only way you have to rationalize it is to think, well,

3365
02:52:06,760 --> 02:52:09,280
Speaker 2: I must have done something, you know, because the thing

3366
02:52:09,360 --> 02:52:13,800
Speaker 2: is sometimes the truth, which like is just a really bad,

3367
02:52:13,959 --> 02:52:17,360
Speaker 2: unfair thing. That's happening to you is really difficult to

3368
02:52:17,360 --> 02:52:20,560
Speaker 2: contend with because maybe you're not at a point where

3369
02:52:20,600 --> 02:52:23,760
Speaker 2: you feel like you can change it or overcome it,

3370
02:52:24,080 --> 02:52:26,680
Speaker 2: you know, be it. Maybe you're a kid who's being

3371
02:52:26,680 --> 02:52:29,400
Speaker 2: mistreated by their parents, and you know, the realization of

3372
02:52:29,400 --> 02:52:31,440
Speaker 2: coming to terms that your parents are actually horrible people

3373
02:52:32,320 --> 02:52:34,160
Speaker 2: is really hard and really tough, because you can't do

3374
02:52:34,200 --> 02:52:36,880
Speaker 2: anything in that situation. They're your parents. They basically lord

3375
02:52:36,920 --> 02:52:38,560
Speaker 2: over you, you know what I mean. And there's a

3376
02:52:38,560 --> 02:52:40,480
Speaker 2: lot of other context where people feel like they're in

3377
02:52:40,520 --> 02:52:42,959
Speaker 2: a point of weakness where they can't overcome you know,

3378
02:52:43,040 --> 02:52:45,680
Speaker 2: that sort of thing. And again, you know, I deserve

3379
02:52:45,720 --> 02:52:47,959
Speaker 2: it is a very common rationalization for it.

3380
02:52:50,040 --> 02:52:52,320
Speaker 1: Joe, is there anything else that you want to say

3381
02:52:52,360 --> 02:52:56,160
Speaker 1: about this or to me or Anthony or the people

3382
02:52:56,200 --> 02:52:57,440
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go?

3383
02:52:59,879 --> 02:53:02,760
Speaker 3: I think I just want to say thank you so

3384
02:53:02,840 --> 02:53:03,840
Speaker 3: much for what you do.

3385
02:53:03,959 --> 02:53:04,160
Speaker 2: Gack.

3386
02:53:04,520 --> 02:53:09,320
Speaker 3: I listen to your stream like every day practically definitely help.

3387
02:53:11,120 --> 02:53:12,400
Speaker 1: So thank you for.

3388
02:53:13,879 --> 02:53:17,160
Speaker 3: Some hard times. And can I ask to like wrap

3389
02:53:17,240 --> 02:53:20,800
Speaker 3: up since you ask Anthony in the beginning, what's the

3390
02:53:20,800 --> 02:53:22,400
Speaker 3: most persistent thought on your mind?

3391
02:53:23,360 --> 02:53:25,840
Speaker 1: Oh man, the most persons thought on my mind is

3392
02:53:26,440 --> 02:53:29,480
Speaker 1: I knew it was gonna flipped on me at some point. Oh,

3393
02:53:29,480 --> 02:53:32,560
Speaker 1: it's mainly about it's many the fact that time is

3394
02:53:32,560 --> 02:53:36,680
Speaker 1: fleeting and I'm it's mainly it's mainly an ever constant

3395
02:53:36,720 --> 02:53:40,400
Speaker 1: evaluation of my entire life and how I'm spending my

3396
02:53:40,480 --> 02:53:44,960
Speaker 1: time and if if it's good, if if I should

3397
02:53:45,000 --> 02:53:50,240
Speaker 1: give up my uh entire ego and go be naked

3398
02:53:50,240 --> 02:53:52,640
Speaker 1: on a beach and renounce all of my possessions and

3399
02:53:52,720 --> 02:53:57,520
Speaker 1: relationships and finding the balance between that and you know,

3400
02:53:58,480 --> 02:54:02,920
Speaker 1: being very in the h in my own universe. I

3401
02:54:02,959 --> 02:54:04,560
Speaker 1: don't know if what I said made any sense, but

3402
02:54:04,600 --> 02:54:06,199
Speaker 1: that is the most person thought on my mind.

3403
02:54:08,040 --> 02:54:10,480
Speaker 3: No, if that made sense, just know that I think

3404
02:54:10,480 --> 02:54:12,480
Speaker 3: it would make me and a whole lot of other

3405
02:54:12,520 --> 02:54:15,800
Speaker 3: people really sad if you just disappeared one day. But

3406
02:54:16,120 --> 02:54:17,920
Speaker 3: you gotta do what you gotta do and what makes

3407
02:54:17,959 --> 02:54:18,480
Speaker 3: you happy.

3408
02:54:19,360 --> 02:54:24,000
Speaker 1: I will be a gecko on the computer for as

3409
02:54:24,080 --> 02:54:28,520
Speaker 1: long as people are willing to watch me be a gecko.

3410
02:54:29,040 --> 02:54:30,800
Speaker 2: Right, you could eventually get to a point where you

3411
02:54:30,840 --> 02:54:33,160
Speaker 2: just broadcast from some kind of fortress of solitude.

3412
02:54:34,080 --> 02:54:36,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, like that'd be sad though.

3413
02:54:36,080 --> 02:54:41,440
Speaker 2: Like like a couple, like like a couple hours you know,

3414
02:54:41,520 --> 02:54:44,360
Speaker 2: for for three streams a week, but then the rest

3415
02:54:44,360 --> 02:54:46,600
Speaker 2: of the time what you're living in the forest. I

3416
02:54:46,600 --> 02:54:47,720
Speaker 2: mean that's not a bad trade off.

3417
02:54:47,720 --> 02:54:49,920
Speaker 1: Well, I ideally, now I'm just getting on a tangent, but

3418
02:54:49,959 --> 02:54:53,080
Speaker 1: I ideally I want to make more stuff where I'm

3419
02:54:53,120 --> 02:54:56,240
Speaker 1: out in the world, you know, Like I'm going on

3420
02:54:56,240 --> 02:55:01,080
Speaker 1: this crazy tour, and I like talking. I like I

3421
02:55:01,160 --> 02:55:05,120
Speaker 1: like talking to computer people, but I also I really

3422
02:55:05,480 --> 02:55:09,560
Speaker 1: I in person people people, people people, And I've enjoyed

3423
02:55:09,600 --> 02:55:13,840
Speaker 1: talking to you, Joe, and I hope that you continue to,

3424
02:55:15,280 --> 02:55:17,880
Speaker 1: you know, navigate this the best that you can and

3425
02:55:18,120 --> 02:55:19,359
Speaker 1: you know, feel good about yourself.

3426
02:55:19,520 --> 02:55:20,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, have a beautiful night.

3427
02:55:20,879 --> 02:55:22,680
Speaker 1: Thank you for everything you as well.

3428
02:55:22,680 --> 02:55:26,039
Speaker 2: Thank you Joe, you know Joe, Like with the previous caller,

3429
02:55:26,080 --> 02:55:33,160
Speaker 2: with the the music stuff, I feel like societally, there's

3430
02:55:33,200 --> 02:55:39,760
Speaker 2: just way too much pressure on people to have everything

3431
02:55:39,800 --> 02:55:42,720
Speaker 2: figured out at a very young age. Yeah, Like by

3432
02:55:42,920 --> 02:55:46,360
Speaker 2: my mid twenties, I better have this music thing figured

3433
02:55:46,400 --> 02:55:48,200
Speaker 2: out or I'm going to give up on it. I

3434
02:55:48,240 --> 02:55:50,360
Speaker 2: feel really bad at twenty one that I don't know

3435
02:55:50,400 --> 02:55:54,119
Speaker 2: what the ideal relationship looks like to me, Like, You're

3436
02:55:55,600 --> 02:55:58,200
Speaker 2: You're never gonna have everything figured out. No, you know,

3437
02:55:58,720 --> 02:56:03,440
Speaker 2: like it's it's there's there's rarely. I don't know, you know,

3438
02:56:03,480 --> 02:56:05,400
Speaker 2: even at my age, I don't know that many people,

3439
02:56:06,840 --> 02:56:08,640
Speaker 2: even some who maybe from the outside you would look

3440
02:56:08,640 --> 02:56:10,720
Speaker 2: at them and say, yeah, that person's pretty establishing their career,

3441
02:56:11,000 --> 02:56:13,280
Speaker 2: who internally they're like, yeah, I figured it all out.

3442
02:56:13,879 --> 02:56:15,760
Speaker 2: I don't need to figure anything else out. I have

3443
02:56:15,840 --> 02:56:18,280
Speaker 2: it all handled. Like you know, you're always going to

3444
02:56:18,280 --> 02:56:22,040
Speaker 2: be in a constant state of figuring and outs as

3445
02:56:22,120 --> 02:56:23,400
Speaker 2: long as you're growing as a person.

3446
02:56:23,800 --> 02:56:26,080
Speaker 1: And so I just like, as a final thought on

3447
02:56:26,120 --> 02:56:27,520
Speaker 1: that is you know it.

3448
02:56:27,640 --> 02:56:28,000
Speaker 2: Uh.

3449
02:56:28,280 --> 02:56:31,320
Speaker 1: Once I realized that because I was looking at my

3450
02:56:31,400 --> 02:56:35,320
Speaker 1: I was reading my journals, and I realized that my problem,

3451
02:56:35,560 --> 02:56:40,280
Speaker 1: every problem I had like four years ago or whatever,

3452
02:56:42,240 --> 02:56:46,320
Speaker 1: completely fixed those problems, not every problem, but a lot

3453
02:56:46,360 --> 02:56:50,040
Speaker 1: of them, and now they just have been replaced. And

3454
02:56:50,120 --> 02:56:52,440
Speaker 1: so now I'm like, oh, that indicates to me that

3455
02:56:52,560 --> 02:56:56,080
Speaker 1: I will forever have problems. And I that with that

3456
02:56:56,640 --> 02:56:59,000
Speaker 1: first realization of that kind of scared me. But now

3457
02:56:59,040 --> 02:57:01,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, well, if I'm gonna have problems forever,

3458
02:57:01,280 --> 02:57:02,560
Speaker 1: and that means I don't need to worry about them

3459
02:57:02,600 --> 02:57:06,360
Speaker 1: because they're just there's no there's no, there's nothing to.

3460
02:57:06,320 --> 02:57:07,400
Speaker 2: Do about that.

3461
02:57:07,560 --> 02:57:13,440
Speaker 1: Solving them won't solve them in a strange way, mister

3462
02:57:13,440 --> 02:57:17,960
Speaker 1: Anthony Fantana, tell me before we go, before we wrap

3463
02:57:18,000 --> 02:57:22,080
Speaker 1: this all up, what did you did you learn anything today?

3464
02:57:22,160 --> 02:57:24,520
Speaker 1: What is your What do you make of the calls

3465
02:57:24,560 --> 02:57:28,160
Speaker 1: we've been talking to people on the phone. How long

3466
02:57:28,160 --> 02:57:29,560
Speaker 1: have we been talking to people on the phone for

3467
02:57:30,080 --> 02:57:32,080
Speaker 1: nearly three and a half hours. Do you have any

3468
02:57:32,080 --> 02:57:38,280
Speaker 1: final thoughts sentiments about the themes of anything. I'll just

3469
02:57:39,120 --> 02:57:39,959
Speaker 1: I'll let you.

3470
02:57:40,560 --> 02:57:42,360
Speaker 2: I love coming on here and helping people. It's fun.

3471
02:57:43,200 --> 02:57:45,440
Speaker 2: That's that's what I was most excited to do. Yeah.

3472
02:57:45,600 --> 02:57:47,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so glad you were able to come on

3473
02:57:47,360 --> 02:57:49,600
Speaker 1: this man, and you were natural, and everyone loved you,

3474
02:57:49,640 --> 02:57:57,000
Speaker 1: and I and I I I was It's nice that

3475
02:57:57,080 --> 02:58:00,959
Speaker 1: I can really hear in the people's voices that you

3476
02:58:01,000 --> 02:58:03,680
Speaker 1: know what, the stuff that you were saying got through

3477
02:58:03,720 --> 02:58:05,800
Speaker 1: to them and that this is really cool.

3478
02:58:06,600 --> 02:58:08,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that they love what you do. I mean,

3479
02:58:08,320 --> 02:58:10,360
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be here doing this if not for the

3480
02:58:10,360 --> 02:58:13,320
Speaker 2: fact that you. I feel ridiculous saying that because I'm

3481
02:58:13,360 --> 02:58:18,800
Speaker 2: in a gecko costume, but uh, you get used. I

3482
02:58:18,800 --> 02:58:20,920
Speaker 2: wouldn't be here if you didn't build this thing, so

3483
02:58:22,200 --> 02:58:23,520
Speaker 2: it's it's all. It's all you, buddy.

3484
02:58:23,640 --> 02:58:26,720
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, man, and thanks. I'm glad you actually

3485
02:58:26,720 --> 02:58:28,320
Speaker 1: listened to the I'm stoked that you actually listen to

3486
02:58:28,360 --> 02:58:28,840
Speaker 1: the podcast.

3487
02:58:29,040 --> 02:58:30,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the podcast.

3488
02:58:30,680 --> 02:58:31,920
Speaker 1: Hell, I'm glad man. Thank you.

3489
02:58:31,959 --> 02:58:34,680
Speaker 2: I've recommended numerous friends of mine in the podcast or

3490
02:58:35,040 --> 02:58:36,280
Speaker 2: made them listen to it with me.

3491
02:58:36,560 --> 02:58:38,720
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Yeah, thank you very much.

3492
02:58:38,840 --> 02:58:43,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, no problem, I'm a fan. I'm stoked.

3493
02:58:43,600 --> 02:58:46,400
Speaker 1: Thanks man, I gotta check out more of your stuff.

3494
02:58:47,320 --> 02:58:49,920
Speaker 2: You don't have to, but only if you want to.

3495
02:58:50,080 --> 02:58:51,560
Speaker 1: Anthony Man, thank you very much for coming on.

3496
02:58:51,560 --> 02:58:54,560
Speaker 2: I really appreciate it. I appreciate it, folks.

3497
02:58:54,560 --> 02:58:56,920
Speaker 1: Ghek bless you all. Thank you very much for coming.

3498
02:58:58,879 --> 02:59:02,280
Speaker 1: But check out Anton if you don't already know Anthony Fantano.

3499
02:59:02,680 --> 02:59:08,000
Speaker 1: He's a prolific musical critic. He has a YouTube channel

3500
02:59:08,040 --> 02:59:10,760
Speaker 1: called The Needle Drop. Go check that out.

3501
02:59:10,959 --> 02:59:12,400
Speaker 2: Music reviews all the time.

3502
02:59:12,480 --> 02:59:20,320
Speaker 1: And live life, do things and peace be with you.

3503
02:59:21,400 --> 02:59:22,279
Speaker 1: Jack bless.

3504
02:59:24,080 --> 02:59:27,640
Speaker 8: Kon goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.

3505
02:59:28,040 --> 02:59:31,120
Speaker 1: The Deacon goes doing his ride. He's teaching you aloud

3506
02:59:31,200 --> 02:59:34,760
Speaker 1: in them of your life. But he's not really an expert.