WEBVTT - My Favorite Florida Gator - Chandler Parsons 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.760 What about playing when you're back in Houston playing with 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:04.080 an old ball hog? 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:08.680 Was that fun? James Harden? I love playing with James Huh, 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:11.640 he was great. I got nothing about it. Yeah, I 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:12.400 just wanted to call the. 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:19.960 Ball Pasha pshah. 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:23.320 Tosh show show. 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:34.159 Hello everyone, it's me Daniel Tosh. Where are my dogs at? Guys, 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:38.080 you wouldn't know it just by looking at me. But 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:43.280 I'm less than twenty four hours away from having my 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:48.479 first colonoscoby, and I'm going to give you all the 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:52.080 information once I go through the procedure. But let me 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:55.800 tell you what I've learned so far. A colonoscoby is 0:00:56.440 --> 0:01:02.120 one of the few, you know, cancer screening things that's preventative. Nowadays, 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.199 you can just like poop in an envelope and mail 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.600 it to them, but that doesn't do what this does. 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:10.880 If you actually go in and get the full colon osby, 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:16.560 they will see is it polyps? Yes, and they will 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:19.679 remove them on the spot, which can turn in too 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:22.319 bad stuff down the road. I'm forty eight years old 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:24.200 and my doctor said, I think it's time for you 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:27.680 to do this. It used to be forty. But they're like, 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.559 if you don't have any history colon cancer in your family, 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.280 you probably can wait a little bit longer. And then 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.120 I asked my mom. I was like, she's like, well, 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.000 you know, your grandma died of colon cancer. And I'm like, Mom, 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:41.640 you should have told me that. And she's like, well, 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:44.160 she was ninety nine, and she's like she had to 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:50.000 die from something, so it makes so, yeah, colon cancer 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:51.680 is what got her. So I'm going tomorrow, and you know, 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:54.920 fingers crossed. Things are good now. Today. As you know 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:59.440 or may not know, I'm fasting. I can only drink 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:02.400 clear your liquids, so yeah, and then I have to 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:06.120 take some laxatives and some other stuff. That's that's gonna 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:07.600 be that I'm gonna mix with the drinks and it's 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:10.840 gonna be awful. And I'm just gonna flush out my 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:16.959 colon until two am, when I need to be pooping 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:22.079 pure clean water that you can drink. That's what I'm told. 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:25.400 By two am, you should be able to drink from 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:30.080 my sphincter. Anyway, yesterday was the last day that I 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:31.919 was able to eat. 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:36.600 So where do you think I went for my final meal? 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:39.320 Like a good Italian meal, A good. 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:42.239 Italian that oh, that would have been my second choice. 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:47.359 I went to a Dodger game. Yeah, just fueled up 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:52.600 on everything. Nothing cleans out my colon, like seven plus 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:54.960 innings at Chavez Ravine. 0:02:55.880 --> 0:03:03.520 But today today it's Chandler Parsonds. Chandler Parsons. 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:08.280 So I do research for our guests before we come on, 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:12.520 and I'm I was researching him. And if you research 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:17.240 Chandler Parsons, you know a former NBA player, uh got 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:19.880 into a bad car accident. You'll find out all about it. 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.600 But anyway, the questions on there, like the first thing 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:24.680 come like where did he play college? Where did he 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:26.840 play in the NBA? Then the third thing, why did 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:29.160 Chandler lose his job? And I'm like, what what is 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:31.600 this about? Oh he quit on Christmas so that he 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:35.800 could be home with Monica, And I'm like, oh, Google 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:40.680 just switches to Chandler from friends, and I'm like, these 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:43.640 questions don't help me at all. I'm actually normally when 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:47.760 people are on this show, I have one goal. I 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:53.760 want people at home to know why I find them interesting, 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.200 because usually they're they're they're they're pretty funny people, they're 0:03:57.520 --> 0:03:58.640 they're good at what they do. 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:00.840 And I just and I'm fascinating. 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:03.840 But today, today I'm going to take probably a different 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:07.520 approach because this is someone that I don't want to 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:13.840 come across in a positive way because my wife finds 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:17.159 him very attractive, and I know there's nothing I could 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:19.280 do about it. Like if he's like, you know what, 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:24.080 I want your wife, I'd be like, oh shit, I 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:25.080 guess she's yours. 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:26.840 Now I don't because she. 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.120 Already likes you, and there's nothing I can do to 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:33.480 him physically, you know, Chandler, Like, he's so much bigger 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:36.480 than you realize. You think, oh, you were just a 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.120 six six guy in the NBA, but then you're like, 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.400 oh you were six eight, and then you touch him 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:45.360 and you're like, oh you're You're pretty solid. It's not good. 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:49.279 Hopefully he's not interested. He's happily married with children, so 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.840 he probably has no interest in my wife. But what 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:53.920 if he's like, you know what, I'm just gonna do 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:57.200 it because I can, and he takes my wife from me. 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:03.839 Enjoy Pasha. 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:09.680 Today in the studio, we have a tall, handsome, rich, athletic, 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.239 absolute stud of a man with a twelve inch long 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:16.919 who has banged hundreds of women. We also have my 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:21.440 guest former NBA player and TV commentator Chandler Parks. 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:25.159 I take that that was better than I expected. Well done. 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:26.919 Let me tell you something about that intro. 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:30.440 Last night, I'm writing down what I'm going to say, 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:32.600 and I call my wife over and I say hey, 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:36.960 which is funnier implying that I've banged hundreds of women 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.640 or that I have a smoking hot wife, And she 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:42.119 goes banging hundreds of women? 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:44.240 Wow? And then she walked away married the right You 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:49.120 married the right one, Chandler. Do you believe in ghosts? Now? Okay? 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:51.760 I do? To you me? Yeah? 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:58.680 Oh yes, big into ghosts, love shows about ghosts. 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:01.120 Really no if I can do any of that stuff. 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.400 You're from Florida, born and raised in Orlando, Florida. Are 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.200 Orlando but not I'm from I say Orlando. I was 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:11.120 born in winter Park. That also sounds fast it is. 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:15.039 I grew up in Castlebury, which is a real white trash. 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.400 I'm from Titusville, so whoa yeah, yeah, see, I grew 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:19.240 up in Castlebury. 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:20.520 I went to Lake Howe High School. 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:23.880 It's like the not nice part of winter Park, the 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:27.039 Seminole County, not Orange. Your parents still together, Yeah, they're 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:29.839 still in Florida. They're still in Florida where they moved 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:30.599 to Winter Springs. 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:31.800 I got them up out of the hood when I 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:34.760 got my big deal, So you paid for it. 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:37.320 Yeah, I got my parents out of Titusville, send them 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:38.560 down to merrit Island beautiful. 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:40.160 Uh huh. Do you go back a lot? 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:42.760 No, we actually did a think we have two kids now, huh, 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:45.240 and we would alternate Christmases and now I have a 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:46.640 daughter that's two and a half in the sum of 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.760 six months, and last year was the first year we 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:52.200 were like hey, like it was like a serious conversation, 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:53.720 like I don't know how to like We're going to 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:55.560 do Christmas here in La from now and like when 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:56.640 they're like, oh, this year, and I was. 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:58.400 Like no, like forever now. 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:01.000 So now like besides like literally like a wedding or 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:02.600 a funeral, I won't go back then. 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:07.120 Isn't it nice to be from Florida and hit it 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:09.920 big and then never go back. 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:12.920 Yeah, that shop sailed. I'm out of there. 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:16.480 I have to go back constantly, mainly because I use 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:17.520 it as a tax shelter. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.440 Yeah, how about you. I used to do that. So 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:21.120 when I played. 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.680 When I played, I claim because I bought my parents 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.560 a house and I claimed residency there. A couple of 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:29.080 loopholes had the cellphone bill sent there, so I used 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.720 to always do that. And then I lived in California, 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:34.640 like my third year in the NBA California to get 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:36.680 their money, and my last year and my big deal, 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:40.560 they made me pay taxes in California, and it was that's. 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:43.640 A that's a big hit. Yeah, that was devastating. What's 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:44.720 your actual height? For real? 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:48.280 So all NBA players sly, I'm probably six eight and 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:52.720 a half. But then come combine, come tube, socks, ankles taped. 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.000 I was measured at six ' ten, which is kind 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:55.600 of bullshit. 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:58.160 I'm six four. What would I be listed at in 0:07:58.200 --> 0:07:59.000 the year six four? 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.480 You would definitely be like a six seven shooting guard. 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.680 Oh yeah, I can't shoot, though. 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:05.440 If you're white in the NBA, you gotta be able 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:07.760 to shoot. That's all we got it. That's all we got. 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:11.120 I could jump, really, I could always jump, even back 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:14.400 in like high school, like two solid jumps, Like all right, 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:15.160 that's it for the day. 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:17.640 It would fit today's load management. That's all you gotta do. 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.760 We do that here on this podcast. Some interviews I'm hysterical. 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:24.560 Some interviews load management. Yeah, fucking take your day. You 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.600 went to the University of Florida. Now you went there 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:31.520 the year after they had won back to back national 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:35.160 champions and then you brought the program. 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:39.160 Screeching halt NIT Tournament. 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:45.440 Yeah, congratulations, Square Garden Bright Lights. I've never watched one 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:47.880 minute of an NIT Tournament game, have. 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:50.719 You, Eddy, Yeah, you do watch them, it's on. 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.959 I can't watch it. Every time it's on. I'm like, oh, 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:55.560 oh shit, this isn't the tournament. 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:01.000 It's not dope, especially going from me, especially going from 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:01.560 back to back. 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:03.440 We also had the number one recruiting class. 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:05.360 So like we're in high school and I'm watching Billy 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:07.480 d and Joe keeping these guys and they're on top 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:09.240 of the world. We go in there with all these 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:11.439 high expectations thinking we could just do what they did. 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.600 And we we sucked. We weren't good. 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:16.920 Billy literally kicked us out of the practice facility. There 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:19.679 was a time where he wouldn't let us wear anything 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.600 with a Gator logo on it. So I would practice 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.680 and like we was like at a high school gym, 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:26.920 like beu Holtz High School in Gainesville. We would literally 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:30.480 practice there because he wouldn't let us practice in the facility. 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:32.719 He wouldn't let us wear gator like warm ups and 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:33.720 jumpsuits around campus. 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:36.240 Seem that might have affected your psyche. It was. Yeah, 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.640 it was took a toll, but it was, dude, it was. 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:39.520 It was a rough time. 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:42.160 You were there during Tim Tebow. How much overlap three years? 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.719 Do you ever attend any Tim Tebow prayer circles while 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:45.120 you were there? 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:46.080 No, didn't do that. 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:48.199 What about a hate speech event from Riley Cooper? 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:52.240 Definitely? Was there real real mixed bag on that football team? 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:52.720 How about that? 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:55.560 And by the the whole swamp King's documentary like it was, 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:57.560 it was pretty good, but they left out like ninety 0:09:57.600 --> 0:09:59.840 percent of the juicy, like the juicy shit on. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:04.160 Imagine, how many chicks do you think Tim Tebow banged 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:06.680 while claiming to be a virgin at Florida? 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:10.880 You know what, banged zero And that's apparently the truth. 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:14.959 Now the other stuff lost interest. I think you got 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:15.959 six blowjobs? 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.600 Okay, Well, speaking of blowjobs, my wife overlapped with you 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:24.959 at Florida. Oh boy, she was on Riker Hall and 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:29.960 there was there was a girl apparently famous for just 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:34.600 dole in those bjs and just down the hall from her, 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:36.839 And she said, oh, weekly, I mean I don't. I 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.160 don't want to drop names like Joe Kim Novah's there 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.760 every week, sometimes twice a week, depending on if they're stressful. 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:44.760 She would just say it was just nonsense. Now she 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:45.679 won't tell me your name. 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:48.000 Hold on, let me let me just see if she'll answer. 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:49.920 She said, she I can't tell your name, you'll say 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.280 it on ear. And she's like a super Christian. 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.120 Now are you calling your wife? Yeah, we'll see if 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:55.040 she'll answer. 0:10:56.480 --> 0:11:04.280 Oh gosh, you know you do when they don't answer 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.079 you FaceTime call because that ring is different. 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:11.199 Maybe it's a service thing. No, it just rings to 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:13.280 it rings louder even when it's silent. 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.120 See, I think it's an emergency and we're just trying 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.040 to figure out who sucked everyone's dick. 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:20.679 Florida. 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.839 I think something is majorly Wrott, like who is the 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:24.880 jack that blue joking? 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:26.760 Nine? Three? What time is that? 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:30.240 I'll try I'll try it, I'll get back, we'll circle back. 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:32.320 We will definitely circle back to that. Were you a 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:33.760 maniac in college. 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.480 Complete maniac, I probably would have been a higher draft 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:39.520 pick after my junior year. But I just loved college 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:43.080 and I went back for my senior year and I 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:45.000 just I loved it too, Like I love Florida. I 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:46.959 loved going to other you know, sports events. 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:49.640 Were you a fan of Urban Meyer? Loved Urban Meyer? 0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:51.959 Still talk to him to this day. I like him too. 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:52.679 He's great. 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:55.760 I did a show when he was coaching at Ohio State. Yeah, 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:58.320 he comes to the show, ask if he can meet me, 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:02.320 comes backstage. It's weird to see an older man and 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.760 I don't know how old he is, but have an 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:10.480 older than him entourage. Yeah, like these weird booster dudes 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:12.520 just all hanging out with him. 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:13.960 And he couldn't have been sweeter to me. 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:16.200 I told my wife that she went there when he 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:18.040 won his back to back and he was all talking 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:19.920 about everything. And then she goes, oh, he used to 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:23.439 take plot or cycling or something from your wife. Taught 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:27.280 a class in games, the workout class. He calls miss 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.120 you know all these stupid Southern coaches call their wives 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:35.480 Miss Cowarley or whatever, and Miss Shelley calls, gets her 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:37.920 on speaker him here, she took your class. 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:39.840 I'm like, this guy could have been nicer. Yes, oh 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:41.000 what a good guy he was. 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:42.480 And they were on top of the world, right, and 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:44.760 he was winning the championships. So every year he would 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.360 do this thing where he took one athlete from each 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.040 sport mm hmmm and did. 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:51.000 Because of t boat like a retreat and like his 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:52.120 lake house. Uh huh. 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.400 Every year he would pick me from the basketball team 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:55.880 and like I didn't know him yet, but like we 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:57.400 hadn't hung out. Now we like hang out in the 0:12:57.400 --> 0:13:00.040 golf course and like a whole nother different dynamic. But 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:01.319 he would take us to his lake houst and I 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:03.080 think they do like an hour of like you know, 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:05.400 Bible study, but then for the other you know, twenty 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.360 three hours we were just hanging playing games, right, like 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:13.680 getting you know, so yeah, through the Bible study, but yeah, basically, 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:16.400 And he would always do that and he always like 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:18.160 showed him people love and so I had always been 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.640 close with him and now retiring and he's a big 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.520 golf from a big golf WU just played the tournament 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.880 in Orlando like six months ago, and he's he's awesome. 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:28.040 He's always been cool as fun. 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:30.440 What was that tournament he just won the justin Timberlake 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:31.440 eight am classic. 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:32.480 That was in Vegas. 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.520 Did you ask him about about uh playing the guitar 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:38.640 while Brittany was having a miscarriacter? 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:44.600 Yeah, yeah, I brought it up. Yeah, that was next 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:47.000 to the first thing. I. Oh, you played golf at all? 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:49.000 Or No, I grew up playing golf. I don't play. 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:50.600 We got to get you out there. No, I don't 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:53.200 like you. It's too much time. That's why it's awesome. 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:54.400 From everything. 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.440 No, I'd rather be home. Yeah, I'm like one of 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:56.760 these people. 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.959 You're a better father than I. You know what? Gun 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:04.960 my head? I bet I am. But here's the thing. 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:09.120 I probably do what you're supposed to do in a 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:13.160 marriage fifty percent of the work. But I feel like 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:17.200 at fifty percent, there should be a statue in my honor. 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:19.760 Oh for sure, because I'm like I'm always just like, 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:20.520 look at. 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:21.000 What I've done. 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:25.120 Oh I do ten and there is a statue, there 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:25.400 is this. 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:27.320 Yeah you got Yeah, you're not doing it right? 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:29.800 All right, So you got married. I'll talk about wives 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.080 for a second. Yeah, who has a hotter wife? You 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:33.080 or Al Horford? 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:36.080 Ooh, I think my wife is a total babe. 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.520 Sure. Al Horford's wife is also a total babe, and 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:42.280 I guess it's a preference, all right. 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.720 I want people to start looking up Al Horford's way. 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:47.320 You're not gonna You're not gonna stop there. 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:52.080 Your wife is a twin. 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:55.480 Yeah, so yeah, she's got an identical twin. 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:57.960 I may have told this story once before, but doesn't 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:00.200 matter if I have. In Titusville, when I was on 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.960 Squire's Drive, I lived across the street from a kid. 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:05.880 He was younger than me, and his mom and dad 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:11.480 seemed happy enough. His mom dies, and this is like 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.360 when I'm a kid, but I was old enough to 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:17.040 remember this. I was probably twelve or thirteen. She was 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:22.480 a twin. Six months later, he remarries with her sister. Yeah, 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:27.160 and like the kids, the kids were much younger than 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:29.320 me at the time, probably between like five and eight 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:29.680 or nine. 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.640 And it was almost like just life just went on, 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:37.160 just kept it moving. I mean, that was weird. My daughter, 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:41.040 uh huh, she knows the difference in mom. It's good. 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.360 But yeah, I think if there was a situation where 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.320 we need to buy a little switch arooo, I think 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:46.600 I don't think they'd miss a beat. 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:49.880 There's some DNA thing where she's more my daughter's mom 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:50.320 than my. 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:53.600 Brother is my daughter's dad because of the whole twin thing. 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.960 Does your wife does she like get on you about? 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:59.400 Never? She's she's the coolest ses. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.720 I swear That's why I initially like fell in love 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.640 with she was she was never like a jealous type. 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:03.880 Never. 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:06.560 When I first met her, I was reckless, I was despicable. 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:08.960 She knew everything about me. I was like, first go 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:10.760 I'd never had to lie to It was like it was, 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:13.080 I don't know, it's felt good to be honest. And 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.400 finally like it was so it was like kind of 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.320 like an open thing. Like the first couple of months, 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.000 I would go out, I would not call her. I 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:20.520 call her next day, I tell her what happened. She'd 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.080 make fun of me, she'd call me gross, and then 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:23.120 I'd like, you know, I would just. 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:25.080 Started off like that super friends casual. 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:27.440 And then it got to that point where I could 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:28.880 see it was like affecting her, And it got to 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:30.760 the point where like I was like I could see 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:32.760 I'm hurting her, and I was, you know, getting real 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.080 feelings for her. And then it's got some point where 0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.040 I just didn't want to do that anymore and wanted 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:38.880 to be committed to her. 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:42.120 Speaking, which I could call my wife again. So she 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:42.880 not called back. 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:49.000 Oh she's called back twice. Let me see she'll pick 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:49.720 up this time. 0:16:55.440 --> 0:17:05.200 How much that watch cost? Fuck? What do you think 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:12.960 she's doing? Sleeping with Pierre? God? Damn Pierre? How How 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:19.400 rock solid is your prenups? That's long? You know, it's crazy? 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:22.600 Her her family, they have a huge trash company in 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:25.800 California called Harrison Trash Taley Harrison. So they kind of 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:29.360 brought the prenup to me. I was like, Oh, this 0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:34.399 is fucking beautiful. So her inheritance separate my contracts, separate 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:35.800 everything we do since we're married. 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.280 Do people have to pass away for her to get 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:42.879 her bag? Or is this like tricking that there's a 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:46.040 couple of bite the dust here? But do you get 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:46.879 along with your in laws? 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:47.120 Yeah? 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:47.960 They're they're great. 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:51.080 They're you know, big sports fans, love like the Dodgers, 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.199 love Dad, loves like cars and basket like. 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.840 He's super easy to get along with. Does your size 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.440 intimidate them? Yeah a little bit. I told your wife 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:00.680 five eight, she's tall too. 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:03.800 Yeah, our kids are gonna be monsters or they might 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:04.200 not be. 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:05.720 No, but see a kid and they'll be like, how 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:07.440 is your daughter? Like four? And I'm like, she's one, 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:11.680 Like it's almost weird, it's uncomfortable. Oh man, But there weren't. 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.840 They were like nine nine pounds, like twenty three inches, 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:15.680 Like they weren't like crazy. 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:18.040 I have a brother, Chase. He was like twelve pound baby. 0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:21.000 He was insane. How tall is your brother? So I 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.280 have three. I'm the tallest. They're like six four, sixty five, 0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:24.640 and sixty seven. They're all big. 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:27.280 If you guys went in a fight against the the 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:30.600 what is it the Djokitch brothers, Well there's. 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:33.000 Only two, well three of them three? You think you 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:33.840 could take them with the four? 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.120 I got one brother, Chris. He's a little he's he's 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:36.960 a slippery fella. 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:37.560 I think. 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:42.639 Team sports. I've never gotten into playing them. I've always 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:46.200 enjoyed watching them. You seem like a well educated person. 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:51.000 How many times can you listen to a coach and 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:53.359 give two shits what they're saying? 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:54.280 It's tough. 0:18:54.640 --> 0:18:57.720 I mean, how many speeches can you how many adjustments 0:18:57.720 --> 0:18:59.919 can be made before you're like, I get it. 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:03.080