Speaker 1: What about playing when you're back in Houston playing with
Speaker 1: an old ball hog?
Speaker 2: Was that fun? James Harden? I love playing with James Huh,
Speaker 2: he was great. I got nothing about it. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: just wanted to call the.
Speaker 1: Ball Pasha pshah.
Speaker 2: Tosh show show.
Speaker 1: Hello everyone, it's me Daniel Tosh. Where are my dogs at? Guys,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't know it just by looking at me. But
Speaker 1: I'm less than twenty four hours away from having my
Speaker 1: first colonoscoby, and I'm going to give you all the
Speaker 1: information once I go through the procedure. But let me
Speaker 1: tell you what I've learned so far. A colonoscoby is
Speaker 1: one of the few, you know, cancer screening things that's preventative. Nowadays,
Speaker 1: you can just like poop in an envelope and mail
Speaker 1: it to them, but that doesn't do what this does.
Speaker 1: If you actually go in and get the full colon osby,
Speaker 1: they will see is it polyps? Yes, and they will
Speaker 1: remove them on the spot, which can turn in too
Speaker 1: bad stuff down the road. I'm forty eight years old
Speaker 1: and my doctor said, I think it's time for you
Speaker 1: to do this. It used to be forty. But they're like,
Speaker 1: if you don't have any history colon cancer in your family,
Speaker 1: you probably can wait a little bit longer. And then
Speaker 1: I asked my mom. I was like, she's like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, your grandma died of colon cancer. And I'm like, Mom,
Speaker 1: you should have told me that. And she's like, well,
Speaker 1: she was ninety nine, and she's like she had to
Speaker 1: die from something, so it makes so, yeah, colon cancer
Speaker 1: is what got her. So I'm going tomorrow, and you know,
Speaker 1: fingers crossed. Things are good now. Today. As you know
Speaker 1: or may not know, I'm fasting. I can only drink
Speaker 1: clear your liquids, so yeah, and then I have to
Speaker 1: take some laxatives and some other stuff. That's that's gonna
Speaker 1: be that I'm gonna mix with the drinks and it's
Speaker 1: gonna be awful. And I'm just gonna flush out my
Speaker 1: colon until two am, when I need to be pooping
Speaker 1: pure clean water that you can drink. That's what I'm told.
Speaker 1: By two am, you should be able to drink from
Speaker 1: my sphincter. Anyway, yesterday was the last day that I
Speaker 1: was able to eat.
Speaker 2: So where do you think I went for my final meal?
Speaker 2: Like a good Italian meal, A good.
Speaker 1: Italian that oh, that would have been my second choice.
Speaker 1: I went to a Dodger game. Yeah, just fueled up
Speaker 1: on everything. Nothing cleans out my colon, like seven plus
Speaker 1: innings at Chavez Ravine.
Speaker 2: But today today it's Chandler Parsonds. Chandler Parsons.
Speaker 1: So I do research for our guests before we come on,
Speaker 1: and I'm I was researching him. And if you research
Speaker 1: Chandler Parsons, you know a former NBA player, uh got
Speaker 1: into a bad car accident. You'll find out all about it.
Speaker 1: But anyway, the questions on there, like the first thing
Speaker 1: come like where did he play college? Where did he
Speaker 1: play in the NBA? Then the third thing, why did
Speaker 1: Chandler lose his job? And I'm like, what what is
Speaker 1: this about? Oh he quit on Christmas so that he
Speaker 1: could be home with Monica, And I'm like, oh, Google
Speaker 1: just switches to Chandler from friends, and I'm like, these
Speaker 1: questions don't help me at all. I'm actually normally when
Speaker 1: people are on this show, I have one goal. I
Speaker 1: want people at home to know why I find them interesting,
Speaker 1: because usually they're they're they're they're pretty funny people, they're
Speaker 1: they're good at what they do.
Speaker 2: And I just and I'm fascinating.
Speaker 1: But today, today I'm going to take probably a different
Speaker 1: approach because this is someone that I don't want to
Speaker 1: come across in a positive way because my wife finds
Speaker 1: him very attractive, and I know there's nothing I could
Speaker 1: do about it. Like if he's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I want your wife, I'd be like, oh shit, I
Speaker 1: guess she's yours.
Speaker 2: Now I don't because she.
Speaker 1: Already likes you, and there's nothing I can do to
Speaker 1: him physically, you know, Chandler, Like, he's so much bigger
Speaker 1: than you realize. You think, oh, you were just a
Speaker 1: six six guy in the NBA, but then you're like,
Speaker 1: oh you were six eight, and then you touch him
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh you're You're pretty solid. It's not good.
Speaker 1: Hopefully he's not interested. He's happily married with children, so
Speaker 1: he probably has no interest in my wife. But what
Speaker 1: if he's like, you know what, I'm just gonna do
Speaker 1: it because I can, and he takes my wife from me.
Speaker 2: Enjoy Pasha.
Speaker 1: Today in the studio, we have a tall, handsome, rich, athletic,
Speaker 1: absolute stud of a man with a twelve inch long
Speaker 1: who has banged hundreds of women. We also have my
Speaker 1: guest former NBA player and TV commentator Chandler Parks.
Speaker 2: I take that that was better than I expected. Well done.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something about that intro.
Speaker 1: Last night, I'm writing down what I'm going to say,
Speaker 1: and I call my wife over and I say hey,
Speaker 1: which is funnier implying that I've banged hundreds of women
Speaker 1: or that I have a smoking hot wife, And she
Speaker 1: goes banging hundreds of women?
Speaker 2: Wow? And then she walked away married the right You
Speaker 2: married the right one, Chandler. Do you believe in ghosts? Now? Okay?
Speaker 2: I do? To you me? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, big into ghosts, love shows about ghosts.
Speaker 2: Really no if I can do any of that stuff.
Speaker 3: You're from Florida, born and raised in Orlando, Florida. Are
Speaker 3: Orlando but not I'm from I say Orlando. I was
Speaker 3: born in winter Park. That also sounds fast it is.
Speaker 3: I grew up in Castlebury, which is a real white trash.
Speaker 1: I'm from Titusville, so whoa yeah, yeah, see, I grew
Speaker 1: up in Castlebury.
Speaker 2: I went to Lake Howe High School.
Speaker 3: It's like the not nice part of winter Park, the
Speaker 3: Seminole County, not Orange. Your parents still together, Yeah, they're
Speaker 3: still in Florida. They're still in Florida where they moved
Speaker 3: to Winter Springs.
Speaker 2: I got them up out of the hood when I
Speaker 2: got my big deal, So you paid for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got my parents out of Titusville, send them
Speaker 1: down to merrit Island beautiful.
Speaker 2: Uh huh. Do you go back a lot?
Speaker 3: No, we actually did a think we have two kids now, huh,
Speaker 3: and we would alternate Christmases and now I have a
Speaker 3: daughter that's two and a half in the sum of
Speaker 3: six months, and last year was the first year we
Speaker 3: were like hey, like it was like a serious conversation,
Speaker 3: like I don't know how to like We're going to
Speaker 3: do Christmas here in La from now and like when
Speaker 3: they're like, oh, this year, and I was.
Speaker 2: Like no, like forever now.
Speaker 3: So now like besides like literally like a wedding or
Speaker 3: a funeral, I won't go back then.
Speaker 1: Isn't it nice to be from Florida and hit it
Speaker 1: big and then never go back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that shop sailed. I'm out of there.
Speaker 1: I have to go back constantly, mainly because I use
Speaker 1: it as a tax shelter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how about you. I used to do that. So
Speaker 2: when I played.
Speaker 3: When I played, I claim because I bought my parents
Speaker 3: a house and I claimed residency there. A couple of
Speaker 3: loopholes had the cellphone bill sent there, so I used
Speaker 3: to always do that. And then I lived in California,
Speaker 3: like my third year in the NBA California to get
Speaker 3: their money, and my last year and my big deal,
Speaker 3: they made me pay taxes in California, and it was that's.
Speaker 2: A that's a big hit. Yeah, that was devastating. What's
Speaker 2: your actual height? For real?
Speaker 3: So all NBA players sly, I'm probably six eight and
Speaker 3: a half. But then come combine, come tube, socks, ankles taped.
Speaker 3: I was measured at six ' ten, which is kind
Speaker 3: of bullshit.
Speaker 2: I'm six four. What would I be listed at in
Speaker 2: the year six four?
Speaker 3: You would definitely be like a six seven shooting guard.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I can't shoot, though.
Speaker 3: If you're white in the NBA, you gotta be able
Speaker 3: to shoot. That's all we got it. That's all we got.
Speaker 1: I could jump, really, I could always jump, even back
Speaker 1: in like high school, like two solid jumps, Like all right,
Speaker 1: that's it for the day.
Speaker 2: It would fit today's load management. That's all you gotta do.
Speaker 1: We do that here on this podcast. Some interviews I'm hysterical.
Speaker 1: Some interviews load management. Yeah, fucking take your day. You
Speaker 1: went to the University of Florida. Now you went there
Speaker 1: the year after they had won back to back national
Speaker 1: champions and then you brought the program.
Speaker 3: Screeching halt NIT Tournament.
Speaker 1: Yeah, congratulations, Square Garden Bright Lights. I've never watched one
Speaker 1: minute of an NIT Tournament game, have.
Speaker 2: You, Eddy, Yeah, you do watch them, it's on.
Speaker 1: I can't watch it. Every time it's on. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: oh shit, this isn't the tournament.
Speaker 3: It's not dope, especially going from me, especially going from
Speaker 3: back to back.
Speaker 2: We also had the number one recruiting class.
Speaker 3: So like we're in high school and I'm watching Billy
Speaker 3: d and Joe keeping these guys and they're on top
Speaker 3: of the world. We go in there with all these
Speaker 3: high expectations thinking we could just do what they did.
Speaker 2: And we we sucked. We weren't good.
Speaker 3: Billy literally kicked us out of the practice facility. There
Speaker 3: was a time where he wouldn't let us wear anything
Speaker 3: with a Gator logo on it. So I would practice
Speaker 3: and like we was like at a high school gym,
Speaker 3: like beu Holtz High School in Gainesville. We would literally
Speaker 3: practice there because he wouldn't let us practice in the facility.
Speaker 3: He wouldn't let us wear gator like warm ups and
Speaker 3: jumpsuits around campus.
Speaker 2: Seem that might have affected your psyche. It was. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was took a toll, but it was, dude, it was.
Speaker 2: It was a rough time.
Speaker 1: You were there during Tim Tebow. How much overlap three years?
Speaker 1: Do you ever attend any Tim Tebow prayer circles while
Speaker 1: you were there?
Speaker 2: No, didn't do that.
Speaker 1: What about a hate speech event from Riley Cooper?
Speaker 2: Definitely? Was there real real mixed bag on that football team?
Speaker 2: How about that?
Speaker 3: And by the the whole swamp King's documentary like it was,
Speaker 3: it was pretty good, but they left out like ninety
Speaker 3: percent of the juicy, like the juicy shit on.
Speaker 1: Imagine, how many chicks do you think Tim Tebow banged
Speaker 1: while claiming to be a virgin at Florida?
Speaker 2: You know what, banged zero And that's apparently the truth.
Speaker 2: Now the other stuff lost interest. I think you got
Speaker 2: six blowjobs?
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, speaking of blowjobs, my wife overlapped with you
Speaker 1: at Florida. Oh boy, she was on Riker Hall and
Speaker 1: there was there was a girl apparently famous for just
Speaker 1: dole in those bjs and just down the hall from her,
Speaker 1: And she said, oh, weekly, I mean I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't want to drop names like Joe Kim Novah's there
Speaker 1: every week, sometimes twice a week, depending on if they're stressful.
Speaker 1: She would just say it was just nonsense. Now she
Speaker 1: won't tell me your name.
Speaker 2: Hold on, let me let me just see if she'll answer.
Speaker 1: She said, she I can't tell your name, you'll say
Speaker 1: it on ear. And she's like a super Christian.
Speaker 2: Now are you calling your wife? Yeah, we'll see if
Speaker 2: she'll answer.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, you know you do when they don't answer
Speaker 1: you FaceTime call because that ring is different.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's a service thing. No, it just rings to
Speaker 2: it rings louder even when it's silent.
Speaker 3: See, I think it's an emergency and we're just trying
Speaker 3: to figure out who sucked everyone's dick.
Speaker 2: Florida.
Speaker 3: I think something is majorly Wrott, like who is the
Speaker 3: jack that blue joking?
Speaker 2: Nine? Three? What time is that?
Speaker 1: I'll try I'll try it, I'll get back, we'll circle back.
Speaker 1: We will definitely circle back to that. Were you a
Speaker 1: maniac in college.
Speaker 3: Complete maniac, I probably would have been a higher draft
Speaker 3: pick after my junior year. But I just loved college
Speaker 3: and I went back for my senior year and I
Speaker 3: just I loved it too, Like I love Florida. I
Speaker 3: loved going to other you know, sports events.
Speaker 2: Were you a fan of Urban Meyer? Loved Urban Meyer?
Speaker 2: Still talk to him to this day. I like him too.
Speaker 2: He's great.
Speaker 1: I did a show when he was coaching at Ohio State. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he comes to the show, ask if he can meet me,
Speaker 1: comes backstage. It's weird to see an older man and
Speaker 1: I don't know how old he is, but have an
Speaker 1: older than him entourage. Yeah, like these weird booster dudes
Speaker 1: just all hanging out with him.
Speaker 2: And he couldn't have been sweeter to me.
Speaker 1: I told my wife that she went there when he
Speaker 1: won his back to back and he was all talking
Speaker 1: about everything. And then she goes, oh, he used to
Speaker 1: take plot or cycling or something from your wife. Taught
Speaker 1: a class in games, the workout class. He calls miss
Speaker 1: you know all these stupid Southern coaches call their wives
Speaker 1: Miss Cowarley or whatever, and Miss Shelley calls, gets her
Speaker 1: on speaker him here, she took your class.
Speaker 2: I'm like, this guy could have been nicer. Yes, oh
Speaker 2: what a good guy he was.
Speaker 3: And they were on top of the world, right, and
Speaker 3: he was winning the championships. So every year he would
Speaker 3: do this thing where he took one athlete from each
Speaker 3: sport mm hmmm and did.
Speaker 2: Because of t boat like a retreat and like his
Speaker 2: lake house. Uh huh.
Speaker 3: Every year he would pick me from the basketball team
Speaker 3: and like I didn't know him yet, but like we
Speaker 3: hadn't hung out. Now we like hang out in the
Speaker 3: golf course and like a whole nother different dynamic. But
Speaker 3: he would take us to his lake houst and I
Speaker 3: think they do like an hour of like you know,
Speaker 3: Bible study, but then for the other you know, twenty
Speaker 3: three hours we were just hanging playing games, right, like
Speaker 3: getting you know, so yeah, through the Bible study, but yeah, basically,
Speaker 3: And he would always do that and he always like
Speaker 3: showed him people love and so I had always been
Speaker 3: close with him and now retiring and he's a big
Speaker 3: golf from a big golf WU just played the tournament
Speaker 3: in Orlando like six months ago, and he's he's awesome.
Speaker 2: He's always been cool as fun.
Speaker 3: What was that tournament he just won the justin Timberlake
Speaker 3: eight am classic.
Speaker 2: That was in Vegas.
Speaker 1: Did you ask him about about uh playing the guitar
Speaker 1: while Brittany was having a miscarriacter?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I brought it up. Yeah, that was next
Speaker 3: to the first thing. I. Oh, you played golf at all?
Speaker 3: Or No, I grew up playing golf. I don't play.
Speaker 2: We got to get you out there. No, I don't
Speaker 2: like you. It's too much time. That's why it's awesome.
Speaker 2: From everything.
Speaker 1: No, I'd rather be home. Yeah, I'm like one of
Speaker 1: these people.
Speaker 2: You're a better father than I. You know what? Gun
Speaker 2: my head? I bet I am. But here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I probably do what you're supposed to do in a
Speaker 1: marriage fifty percent of the work. But I feel like
Speaker 1: at fifty percent, there should be a statue in my honor.
Speaker 1: Oh for sure, because I'm like I'm always just like,
Speaker 1: look at.
Speaker 2: What I've done.
Speaker 3: Oh I do ten and there is a statue, there
Speaker 3: is this.
Speaker 2: Yeah you got Yeah, you're not doing it right?
Speaker 1: All right, So you got married. I'll talk about wives
Speaker 1: for a second. Yeah, who has a hotter wife? You
Speaker 1: or Al Horford?
Speaker 3: Ooh, I think my wife is a total babe.
Speaker 2: Sure. Al Horford's wife is also a total babe, and
Speaker 2: I guess it's a preference, all right.
Speaker 1: I want people to start looking up Al Horford's way.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna You're not gonna stop there.
Speaker 2: Your wife is a twin.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, she's got an identical twin.
Speaker 1: I may have told this story once before, but doesn't
Speaker 1: matter if I have. In Titusville, when I was on
Speaker 1: Squire's Drive, I lived across the street from a kid.
Speaker 1: He was younger than me, and his mom and dad
Speaker 1: seemed happy enough. His mom dies, and this is like
Speaker 1: when I'm a kid, but I was old enough to
Speaker 1: remember this. I was probably twelve or thirteen. She was
Speaker 1: a twin. Six months later, he remarries with her sister. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like the kids, the kids were much younger than
Speaker 1: me at the time, probably between like five and eight
Speaker 1: or nine.
Speaker 2: And it was almost like just life just went on,
Speaker 2: just kept it moving. I mean, that was weird. My daughter,
Speaker 2: uh huh, she knows the difference in mom. It's good.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think if there was a situation where
Speaker 3: we need to buy a little switch arooo, I think
Speaker 3: I don't think they'd miss a beat.
Speaker 2: There's some DNA thing where she's more my daughter's mom
Speaker 2: than my.
Speaker 3: Brother is my daughter's dad because of the whole twin thing.
Speaker 1: Does your wife does she like get on you about?
Speaker 2: Never? She's she's the coolest ses.
Speaker 3: I swear That's why I initially like fell in love
Speaker 3: with she was she was never like a jealous type.
Speaker 2: Never.
Speaker 3: When I first met her, I was reckless, I was despicable.
Speaker 3: She knew everything about me. I was like, first go
Speaker 3: I'd never had to lie to It was like it was,
Speaker 3: I don't know, it's felt good to be honest. And
Speaker 3: finally like it was so it was like kind of
Speaker 3: like an open thing. Like the first couple of months,
Speaker 3: I would go out, I would not call her. I
Speaker 3: call her next day, I tell her what happened. She'd
Speaker 3: make fun of me, she'd call me gross, and then
Speaker 3: I'd like, you know, I would just.
Speaker 2: Started off like that super friends casual.
Speaker 3: And then it got to that point where I could
Speaker 3: see it was like affecting her, And it got to
Speaker 3: the point where like I was like I could see
Speaker 3: I'm hurting her, and I was, you know, getting real
Speaker 3: feelings for her. And then it's got some point where
Speaker 3: I just didn't want to do that anymore and wanted
Speaker 3: to be committed to her.
Speaker 2: Speaking, which I could call my wife again. So she
Speaker 2: not called back.
Speaker 1: Oh she's called back twice. Let me see she'll pick
Speaker 1: up this time.
Speaker 2: How much that watch cost? Fuck? What do you think
Speaker 2: she's doing? Sleeping with Pierre? God? Damn Pierre? How How
Speaker 2: rock solid is your prenups? That's long? You know, it's crazy?
Speaker 3: Her her family, they have a huge trash company in
Speaker 3: California called Harrison Trash Taley Harrison. So they kind of
Speaker 3: brought the prenup to me. I was like, Oh, this
Speaker 3: is fucking beautiful. So her inheritance separate my contracts, separate
Speaker 3: everything we do since we're married.
Speaker 1: Do people have to pass away for her to get
Speaker 1: her bag? Or is this like tricking that there's a
Speaker 1: couple of bite the dust here? But do you get
Speaker 1: along with your in laws?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: They're they're great.
Speaker 3: They're you know, big sports fans, love like the Dodgers,
Speaker 3: love Dad, loves like cars and basket like.
Speaker 2: He's super easy to get along with. Does your size
Speaker 2: intimidate them? Yeah a little bit. I told your wife
Speaker 2: five eight, she's tall too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, our kids are gonna be monsters or they might
Speaker 3: not be.
Speaker 2: No, but see a kid and they'll be like, how
Speaker 2: is your daughter? Like four? And I'm like, she's one,
Speaker 2: Like it's almost weird, it's uncomfortable. Oh man, But there weren't.
Speaker 3: They were like nine nine pounds, like twenty three inches,
Speaker 3: Like they weren't like crazy.
Speaker 2: I have a brother, Chase. He was like twelve pound baby.
Speaker 2: He was insane. How tall is your brother? So I
Speaker 2: have three. I'm the tallest. They're like six four, sixty five,
Speaker 2: and sixty seven. They're all big.
Speaker 1: If you guys went in a fight against the the
Speaker 1: what is it the Djokitch brothers, Well there's.
Speaker 2: Only two, well three of them three? You think you
Speaker 2: could take them with the four?
Speaker 3: I got one brother, Chris. He's a little he's he's
Speaker 3: a slippery fella.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: Team sports. I've never gotten into playing them. I've always
Speaker 1: enjoyed watching them. You seem like a well educated person.
Speaker 1: How many times can you listen to a coach and
Speaker 1: give two shits what they're saying?
Speaker 2: It's tough.
Speaker 1: I mean, how many speeches can you how many adjustments
Speaker 1: can be made before you're like, I get it.
Speaker 2: We need to score more points. Yeah, Like that's what's tough,
Speaker 2: especially now in the NBA too, it.
Speaker 3: Coaches they get fired all the time, and it's like
Speaker 3: they're not the fucking ones missing the shots. They're not
Speaker 3: the ones getting blown by on defense. We know what
Speaker 3: we're supposed to do. I think coaches now, especially in
Speaker 3: the NBA, it's all it's all managing egos, it's all
Speaker 3: substitutions and rotations.
Speaker 2: It's I think it's the worst shot.
Speaker 3: I would never I'd much rather this side of it,
Speaker 3: where media and I can talk shit about them doing
Speaker 3: what they're doing wrong.
Speaker 1: Okay, you were the thirty eighth pick of the twenty
Speaker 1: eleven NBA draft of the Houston Rockets. Did you know
Speaker 1: that your points per game average ranks you twelfth from
Speaker 1: that class at twelve point seven, assist rank eleventh at
Speaker 1: two point seven, rebounds thirteenth at four point five, you
Speaker 1: are number nine, and the plus minus at one point one.
Speaker 1: I only bring it up to remind Houston they got
Speaker 1: a first round or in the second round. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: also to show how much I love analytics.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that. Sounds like I should have been
Speaker 2: a much higher pick.
Speaker 1: What about playing when you're back in Houston playing with
Speaker 1: old ball Hog?
Speaker 2: Was that fun? James Harden playing with James. Huh, he
Speaker 2: was great.
Speaker 1: I got nothing about it. Yeah, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: call the ball is Michael Jordan Anthony Edward's father?
Speaker 2: I see this. There was rumors that Jimmy Butler was
Speaker 2: sucking his son a couple of years ago. Nah, I
Speaker 2: don't think so.
Speaker 1: You made more than Michael Jordan in the NBA. Do
Speaker 1: you ever bring that up to people?
Speaker 2: Nah, but that's awesome. I didn't. I didn't off the
Speaker 2: court though.
Speaker 1: Do you feel that playing in the NBA is appropriating
Speaker 1: black culture?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, I will talk.
Speaker 3: About It's funny because the whole race thing. Obviously, I'm
Speaker 3: a minority in the NBA. And you'll even see it
Speaker 3: where they'll be like I would dunk in a game
Speaker 3: and the announcer would be like, holy shit, like deceptively
Speaker 3: athletic from Parsons, And then like Kevin Durant would do
Speaker 3: the same thing and they'd be like, wow, look at
Speaker 3: the length on him, and I'm like, the fuck, I
Speaker 3: just did the same thing.
Speaker 2: Why am I deceptive? You're deceptive? Yeah? That just comes
Speaker 2: with it. But now there's so many Europeans, Yeah that
Speaker 2: doesn't count. Do you count?
Speaker 3: Like like when people talking about White, and I'm like, I
Speaker 3: can't claim like, we can't claim Dirk.
Speaker 2: We don't get yo, get you, we get like JJ
Speaker 2: Reddick right, like he's.
Speaker 1: Ours the real Honkys. Yeah, you played for Mark Cuban.
Speaker 1: Did you ever try to get on a shark tank
Speaker 1: and pitch him any ideas?
Speaker 3: You know what during COVID I was going to now
Speaker 3: after my career, I was going to go and be
Speaker 3: like the celeb one, you know, like they think a
Speaker 3: fifth one over And it never happened because of COVID ever.
Speaker 2: But he's every investment I've ever done.
Speaker 3: Since I've stopped playing for him, I shoot him an
Speaker 3: email and within twenty minutes he'll respond, ask these questions.
Speaker 2: He's fantastic when it comes to that shit. He really is.
Speaker 2: He's been a nice.
Speaker 3: N ninety percent of time. When he says I'll pass
Speaker 3: tough market or whatever, I'll pass. And if I've invested
Speaker 3: in fifteen things, fourteen of them, fifteen of them, he said,
Speaker 3: good idea, do it.
Speaker 2: He's he's great when it comes to that. Would you
Speaker 2: consider yourself were you injury prone or no? I was
Speaker 2: never hurt my entire life.
Speaker 3: My third year in the NBA fell chip cartilage of
Speaker 3: my knee, and from then it was just fucking chaos.
Speaker 3: I had seven surgeries in nine years, like but it
Speaker 3: was all stem from that one microfracture surgery, which not
Speaker 3: many people came back from the beginning. But once that happened,
Speaker 3: I was never the same.
Speaker 1: If it happened today, is the surgery already that much
Speaker 1: better now?
Speaker 3: It is Like Patrick Beverley, he had the same surgery
Speaker 3: like three or four years ago, He's still playing. Basically,
Speaker 3: there's a huge there's a hole I have, like a
Speaker 3: hole my knee, and they try and fill it and
Speaker 3: drill in it and put a bunch and it just
Speaker 3: it doesn't it doesn't work. Like I'm thirty five. I
Speaker 3: need ney replacement already. Double Are you going to do that?
Speaker 3: They say you got to wake because I guess if
Speaker 3: you can't get too Because like so, if I need
Speaker 3: another one in thirty years, if I somehow make it
Speaker 3: thirty more years.
Speaker 2: Huh, you don't plan to make it for thirty more years.
Speaker 2: It's a long time. I'm on a slippery slope.
Speaker 1: By the way, in Memphis, while you were in Memphis,
Speaker 1: did you did you worry that like every time you
Speaker 1: ate barbecue that somebody's gonna shit in your food.
Speaker 2: Or get shot. That's correct. Memphis is a fun down. No,
Speaker 2: it's it's the best. The place sucks.
Speaker 3: Oh. I was the most money I ever made, and
Speaker 3: it was the most miserable I ever was for How
Speaker 3: long were you there?
Speaker 2: Three years? Three years in Memphis? Like the whole city
Speaker 2: smells like barbecue sauce. It's fucking danger. There's nothing to
Speaker 2: do at night.
Speaker 1: I would talk about you drive down to Tunica, Yeah,
Speaker 1: to the casino.
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. I would drive to Nashville. I skipped. I
Speaker 2: go straight to Nashville. Nashville is nice, yeah, but it
Speaker 2: was not for me.
Speaker 1: People always, you know, the normal people in the world
Speaker 1: feel no sympathy for you. But I think that travel.
Speaker 1: I can't even wrap my head around what you guys do.
Speaker 1: The travel is not bad.
Speaker 2: It's because you're young.
Speaker 1: But when do you think about think about Popovich doing
Speaker 1: that travel?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're I mean you're tired. But like you're
Speaker 3: flying private, you're staying at private car private? What kind
Speaker 3: of private seven forty seven? Big private play?
Speaker 2: Can you can?
Speaker 3: Everybody have their own bed like a lay flat, and
Speaker 3: then there's like poker tables and stuff, and then you
Speaker 3: check into the hotel.
Speaker 2: No, you go and your key, they give you your key.
Speaker 1: Course, I know, I know, but you but you have
Speaker 1: to go. And you're doing it at night right.
Speaker 3: Usually like yeah, after a game, if it's a back
Speaker 3: to back, it sucks. You're getting in at one two
Speaker 3: am and you're playing at seven pm the next night.
Speaker 2: You're tired.
Speaker 3: But again, at the end of the day, you sleep
Speaker 3: and they're you're not paying for anything. There's trainers and
Speaker 3: messuses and everything there.
Speaker 2: You're talking to the people here and make on their side.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Nope, wouldn't do it. I mean, Mett, I
Speaker 1: love playing basketball. Uh do I want to play twice
Speaker 1: a week?
Speaker 2: Fuck no. But that's the worst part.
Speaker 3: Now that I'm retired and now when I travel and
Speaker 3: find my family, I'm like, damn, this isn't free.
Speaker 2: I gotta pay for this ship. I gotta And that's
Speaker 2: that sucks. Yeah, that's why you mess up.
Speaker 1: See, Like as a comic, I get to still be like, oh,
Speaker 1: guess what we're going to do a show here? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like, now I'm going to offset this whole expense. Yeah, Atlanta,
Speaker 1: You're there how long before the accident happened three months
Speaker 1: by the way, Who was the driver and I didn't
Speaker 1: I didn't.
Speaker 2: Catch his name. It was a man, it was It was.
Speaker 3: Basically this fifty six show guy I lived at home. Third,
Speaker 3: d U I third? Do you complete junkie?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean usually after three if you figure things out.
Speaker 2: How's he doing? I think he's in the slammer?
Speaker 4: Is he?
Speaker 2: I mean? Fuck, he should be, Well, of course he
Speaker 2: should be. Yeah, you don't know. I haven't checked in
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 1: You've never you've never had like the like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: sit down with him and forgive this now.
Speaker 3: We I had like this whole lawsuit thing, and there
Speaker 3: was this whole thing where I basically had to choose
Speaker 3: whether I was going to play or make a lot
Speaker 3: of money from the insurance company.
Speaker 2: And so I went to this whole thing. He had insurance,
Speaker 2: He had no fucking insurance. Well what insurance companies? You suit?
Speaker 2: My own your own insurance? You suit them? Yeah? Are
Speaker 2: you still with them as a company? You are? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean they have billions of art. I didn't get
Speaker 2: that much for the Yeah, they kept me around. You
Speaker 2: you signed with this is this is fascinating to me.
Speaker 1: Uh, your lawyers were Morgan and Morgan. They're Florida guys
Speaker 1: and they even went to UF.
Speaker 3: And the father, John Morgan, went to high school with
Speaker 3: my parents.
Speaker 2: Okay, I went to Park High School. I didn't know
Speaker 2: they were anything.
Speaker 1: I just thought they were ambulance chasers when I was
Speaker 1: a kid growing up, because I'd see their commercials and I.
Speaker 3: Think that's what they started as. And they do all
Speaker 3: the corny commercials for the people. But now they're just
Speaker 3: now they're now, they're here, now, they're everywhere, right, and
Speaker 3: they're like worth multiple billions.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. That's my first call, all right.
Speaker 3: And speaking of ambulance chasers, then, I actually during my case,
Speaker 3: I literally did a commercial for them, which is pathetic.
Speaker 3: I had like I was, so they took me golfing
Speaker 3: first in Orlando. I get wasted. My hair was like
Speaker 3: blonde from Cojella and I did a commercial for Morgan Morgan.
Speaker 3: I need you to look it up. Uhh, to cut
Speaker 3: my like to save money on my fees. So I
Speaker 3: now was like a mascot from Morgan and Morgan.
Speaker 1: Now you can't tell us the amount, but who made
Speaker 1: you more? Morgan Morgan or Memphis.
Speaker 3: Memphis because it was for three, it was it was
Speaker 3: all right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well I didn't I didn't know what kind of number
Speaker 2: they were thrown around.
Speaker 1: I mean, like I'm sure Morgan and Morgan were saying
Speaker 1: this guy was going to be the next you know,
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan had he just had a few more years.
Speaker 2: In the league. Yeah you could.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how long was your actual physical recovery.
Speaker 2: From the accident? Six months to like a year?
Speaker 3: But like it's scared when you're fucking when you're deal
Speaker 3: with the brain, Like I would literally like that'd be
Speaker 3: scenarios where I would like forget shit and I would
Speaker 3: like say the wrong thing. I would stutter and I'm like,
Speaker 3: like that that actually has happened, that wasn't happening before.
Speaker 2: Are you fully recovered? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think So what car were you driving? It's tacky
Speaker 1: to say Rolls Royce.
Speaker 2: Are they good in accidents? I mean things a god
Speaker 2: damn cruise ship. Yeah, I mean that's I guess that's
Speaker 2: the good thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they cut the ambulance said that if I was
Speaker 3: in a smaller car or something like, I would.
Speaker 2: Have been So you're telling me that buying a Rolls Royce.
Speaker 1: Safe saved your life, dude, life saver. Ah, that's that's
Speaker 1: that should be your sponsor.
Speaker 2: Right instead of Morgan? For the people, I mean, how
Speaker 2: many more years did you really have three tops?
Speaker 1: Because my knees, my knees are your knees were your
Speaker 1: knees aren't because of the accident.
Speaker 2: No, I've been They didn't bring Morgan, and Morgan didn't
Speaker 2: bring that up. Defense did it was a strong defense.
Speaker 2: We screaming.
Speaker 3: By the way, it's very humbling. You're just sitting in
Speaker 3: this like fucking meeting, and this one your lawyers are
Speaker 3: telling basically like your brain is fried. The other one's saying,
Speaker 3: how you suck at basketball?
Speaker 2: You're done? Anyway? Like what the fuck did I do?
Speaker 2: I get hit by a drug try? Or why have
Speaker 2: I just getting shit on here left and right?
Speaker 1: Okay, So now in a healthy space, are you one
Speaker 1: of these people like I wouldn't I wouldn't have it
Speaker 1: any other way?
Speaker 2: Or would you rather that not have happened?
Speaker 3: No, I wish I would not have happened because I
Speaker 3: was healthy and I was planning on playing. I was
Speaker 3: about to be a free agent because my contract was
Speaker 3: up to so I was Gonna. I was thirty one
Speaker 3: years old, so I'd know I'd rather be playing back.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you didn't make enough money to be like, no,
Speaker 1: it's worth it to go out there.
Speaker 2: No, I did, but I was still rather not go
Speaker 2: through that. I know I will see.
Speaker 1: Like you know, my contract over at Comedy Central was
Speaker 1: potentially terminated wrongfully with like five years left on it
Speaker 1: when the pandemic happened, And now looking back on the situation,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: much rather get paid and not work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, That's what I did for three years of Memphis,
Speaker 3: which is why I'm like ben Laden in that town.
Speaker 2: I can't go back there.
Speaker 1: Right, But you're saying that you you would rather play
Speaker 1: basketball than get hay to not pay play basketball.
Speaker 3: I end up doing fucking commercials for them instead of
Speaker 3: playing back.
Speaker 1: But that's because you had a head injury, as because
Speaker 1: I should be able to sue them a little bit.
Speaker 3: They should they played me. They'so an advantage they could.
Speaker 3: It's an advantage of a concussed kid.
Speaker 1: How many times are you wearing a pair of shoes
Speaker 1: in the NBA?
Speaker 2: Are they brand new? No? Not branded? They're always broken in.
Speaker 3: You change your shoes like once a week. Once a week, Yeah,
Speaker 3: you always you kind of give them in and out.
Speaker 3: You want to have a little wear and tear on them.
Speaker 3: But then once they kind of give a little bit,
Speaker 3: you'd switch them out.
Speaker 2: What if you're on the bench, What if you don't play,
Speaker 2: you still think there's got a lot they got a
Speaker 2: lot more life.
Speaker 3: Then okay, yeah, but you're still practicing with them, you're
Speaker 3: still shoot around. Then if you're not playing, that means
Speaker 3: you're actually practicing. I'm working harder than the guys that
Speaker 3: are actually playing. So it's it's you still got to
Speaker 3: change them out.
Speaker 2: Who was your shoe sponsor?
Speaker 3: I was all over, I was Nike, and then I
Speaker 3: was a Didas, Then I went Chinese?
Speaker 2: Are you still Chinese? No? No? Do you have a
Speaker 2: shoe sponsor? Still?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: You ever?
Speaker 1: Have you ever old sneakers from from like the eighties
Speaker 1: ninth they're so heavy, they're awful.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine when do.
Speaker 3: You watch these cats playing like Chuck Taylor's and stuff.
Speaker 2: At least those were lights, even.
Speaker 3: Like the Jordan's Like I can't play in like Jordan
Speaker 3: elevens or like that. They're saying they're so chunky, and.
Speaker 2: You are you have a stupid shoe collection. I do.
Speaker 3: I have a lot of shoes, but like I just
Speaker 3: I don't wear them like I don't wear them like
Speaker 3: all the high top Jordan like ones and fours and elevens.
Speaker 2: I love those back in the day. I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: like wear them out. I'm not into I mean, I
Speaker 2: have a ton of shoes, but yeah, big, what do
Speaker 2: you like? You're like dunks? What you're like like Nike dunks?
Speaker 2: What do you got? What are you dealing with? I
Speaker 2: wear fendy. Oh you bougie bitch? What are you making?
Speaker 2: Huh off?
Speaker 4: This?
Speaker 2: You still doing any modeling? No?
Speaker 1: I remember driving down losiena guy. I would be going
Speaker 1: to the comedy clubs at night to work out my material,
Speaker 1: and I saw you your sexiness up up on Los Sienaga.
Speaker 1: I think you're dry humping a motorcycle with a hot chicks.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, I was like, fuck this guy,
Speaker 1: damn it, he's got it.
Speaker 2: All Buffalo jeans. That was that. Then you got hit
Speaker 2: by a car.
Speaker 3: No, that was We did like a shoot in like
Speaker 3: Key West, and it's like there was this like Brazilian
Speaker 3: model girl and it was I remember it was like legitimate,
Speaker 3: like softboard, and they heard it during the Super Bowl.
Speaker 3: Thank god, this jeans are tight.
Speaker 1: Uh, Now, you were probably I would say, I mean,
Speaker 1: this is this is biased.
Speaker 2: I get you were probably the sexiest person.
Speaker 1: In the NBA when you played you Did you agree
Speaker 1: with that or no Ah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think you were up there. I
Speaker 2: think I did pretty well. You're a good looking fella. Thanks.
Speaker 1: Now, who do you think currently is the sexiest man
Speaker 1: in the NBA?
Speaker 3: M Currently, there's the new young kid on the thunder SGA.
Speaker 3: People love he's got like the skims deal.
Speaker 2: No, it's Kelly Ubra. Kelly Oubra's got great eyes. God
Speaker 2: damn it is beautiful. He's always light skin.
Speaker 1: Every time they do a close up on him, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: get the camera off, Get the camera off.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a boner. He's definitely not ugly.
Speaker 1: I gotta give you a gift. Everybody comes on the tug,
Speaker 1: it's a gift.
Speaker 2: I love that. We'll do a jersey swap. I tell
Speaker 2: you what to do. Oh no, I just oh, I
Speaker 2: got hey. I love that. The UCF the you can't finish. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I graduated black. Can you sign it? Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: sign this for Where are you supposed to sign a jersey?
Speaker 2: I mean, do you have it? What color is the marker? Well,
Speaker 2: it's going to be black most like silver, ID go black?
Speaker 2: Go here? Uh huh, I'll sign that. I'm gonna put
Speaker 2: my shirt back on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just I took my shirt off because I wanted
Speaker 1: to say jersey swap. Yeah, this is this is uh
Speaker 1: what is this?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: This I don't I didn't open it. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you something about what this gift is. My friend who
Speaker 1: went She's gonna be furious that I'm giving this away.
Speaker 2: Are you regifting me? Yeah? That's all I do.
Speaker 1: So my friend sends this to my kid and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: we already have this. She told me what it was
Speaker 1: before it came. And then she goes, we'll just send
Speaker 1: it back to customer service and that's what my wife
Speaker 1: is going to do, and I'm like, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1: That's fucking too much work. Yeah, so I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: give it all right. I got a nice Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you know what it is. I think unless it's not that,
Speaker 1: there could be something else in there. It's just it's
Speaker 1: a I think it's supposed to just be like a
Speaker 1: little thing for a girl.
Speaker 2: You're how old your girl? Whatever?
Speaker 1: She might not it's probably some of her baby dolls.
Speaker 1: It was probably she's a doctor now though she.
Speaker 2: Went to UF. Really a lot of UF. Oh, it's
Speaker 2: all my family. It's a it's like a little stroller
Speaker 2: for her babies or something. Oh yeah, old basket stroller.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but it's got the thing that goes over.
Speaker 2: You'll like it. Oh, it's nice, but we already have
Speaker 2: it something. Thank you. Now you come home today, you
Speaker 2: give her a gift and she's like, what did you? Wow?
Speaker 1: Thanks, She's gonna love it. Put it on the floor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's talk, Fandel. Are you a gambler.
Speaker 2: I am a big gambler.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge gambler, but not huge steaks. I like
Speaker 1: to gamble on everything, but I don't I don't put
Speaker 1: huge wagers down. You spend real money.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Why, I just I love it. It's like it's
Speaker 2: my it's my why Yeah.
Speaker 1: But if you if the problem is once you bring
Speaker 1: the numbers up, you have to keep them up.
Speaker 2: I know. And it's you're not over time, you're going
Speaker 2: to lose. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I can easily if I bet a thousand dollars. I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm I'm terrified of the loss.
Speaker 3: Do you watch it and sweat it out or yes,
Speaker 3: oh see, I'll put I'll put a lot more than that,
Speaker 3: and I will even know it.
Speaker 2: I will. I want to know that. It's a sickness.
Speaker 2: You know. My favorite bet in the NBA is the
Speaker 2: first of fifteen. You liked that, but I love it.
Speaker 3: I have see I'm not. I don't like this parlays.
Speaker 3: I don't like those kinds. I don't even like prop bets.
Speaker 3: I like, I like a teaser for like an NFL.
Speaker 1: NBA bets are stupid because who can cover twelve points?
Speaker 2: It's so hard to bet NBA.
Speaker 1: I am still furious at Klay Thompson for what he
Speaker 1: did in Memphis. Is maybe two years ago. I had it.
Speaker 1: It was a five game parlay. Golden State was my
Speaker 1: final one they had to cover, and he gets fouled
Speaker 1: with no time left on the clock, and all he
Speaker 1: has to do is hit one to cover.
Speaker 2: He missed both.
Speaker 1: It's and I was like, well, Clayn, dude, it's it's hard.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that I wished horrible things that day,
Speaker 1: but what fuck yeah I was.
Speaker 2: I couldn't am that.
Speaker 3: What's funny is when you're playing too, like I I
Speaker 3: never you don't know that. When you're playing, it's not
Speaker 3: like Clay Thompson has any clue of this. Then you
Speaker 3: watch these bad beats and it's fun. It's crazy, man.
Speaker 1: Like my favorite NFL bet is over under two people
Speaker 1: throwing a pass in a game like a.
Speaker 2: Like a backup or something like a right backup or
Speaker 2: later that into a throw. I love it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, gosh, you go, you go deep, you go, you
Speaker 3: get weird on the bets.
Speaker 2: You don't just do a good old fashioned spread or
Speaker 2: money life.
Speaker 1: I do all those you do. Yeah, I do everything,
Speaker 1: but I don't like I do small wagers. I have
Speaker 1: been coin talk.
Speaker 2: You do you bet? And how long? The National Anthemist, No,
Speaker 2: that's not a real bet. It used to be. How
Speaker 2: about this about the streaker? Did you see this in Superable? Huh?
Speaker 3: The fucking guy bet like three hundred grand that there'd
Speaker 3: be a streaker during the Super Bowl, and then he
Speaker 3: streaked and paid five k they got to get out, and.
Speaker 2: Then he ended up netting crazy money.
Speaker 1: Na, I call bullshit on that whole story. You do
Speaker 1: a show on a fan duel hosted by Michelle Beatle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love her too. She's fantastic, she's really funny.
Speaker 2: Did she get canned by laugh?
Speaker 3: I think it's one of those things you can't fire
Speaker 3: me because I quit.
Speaker 2: Uh huh, you know what I mean. But she's good,
Speaker 2: she's awesome.
Speaker 3: She is she is hilarious, she knows her ship, she's vulgar,
Speaker 3: she's one of the boys.
Speaker 2: She's San Antonio. Isn't she die hard? Oh yeah? And
Speaker 2: now all of a sudden, the Knicks fan during the playoffs.
Speaker 1: Eddie here is just cares so much about the Spurs.
Speaker 1: I don't understand it. Like he's a grown man.
Speaker 2: I'm a grown man. I'm gonna I shouldn't even say that,
Speaker 2: But like his his dog is named Duncan. Oh really, he.
Speaker 1: Has a personalized license plate that says Duncan really Duncan. Well,
Speaker 1: you don't tell people your exact license platecking idiots, that's
Speaker 1: your social But I'm like, at what level like these
Speaker 1: these men that are older than the people that they idolize.
Speaker 3: It's so yeah, Like, like my buddy's a huge Packers
Speaker 3: fan like like he'll it'll piss him off when they lose,
Speaker 3: like he's losing sleep, Like he'll like, I love the Gators,
Speaker 3: but like if they if they lose, like I'm not thrilled,
Speaker 3: but it's like.
Speaker 2: It's not changing my fucking day. Uh huh.
Speaker 3: I know grown ask men that like, are not going
Speaker 3: to work the next day.
Speaker 2: I'm a die hard heat fan.
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, everything, Miami, I care about everything.
Speaker 2: You love the big direct you, you love the whole
Speaker 2: when Lebron went there, Yeah, yeah, oh oh, we're gonna
Speaker 2: win a bunch of great I love the decision, right,
Speaker 2: it's time, the pressure.
Speaker 1: Sure, I'm all. I'm all for the theater, the theater.
Speaker 1: Why not I don't and none of that bothers me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm always about the team. And as soon as
Speaker 1: you leave, I fucking hate you immediately.
Speaker 2: That's fair.
Speaker 1: But I'll tell you something that's embarrassing about how I
Speaker 1: can watch a game. I like to find out if
Speaker 1: they want or lost before I watch, and then oh really,
Speaker 1: and then if.
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, well I don't t vo because it's
Speaker 2: still a thing.
Speaker 1: No, but but if I if I know they won,
Speaker 1: I get very excited. And I can watch it if
Speaker 1: they lost.
Speaker 2: If you know they lost, you just to go back
Speaker 2: and watch it. What was your team? Grown up? Did
Speaker 2: you orlanda magic? You cared about them? Oh, Shack and Penpenny.
Speaker 2: That was good.
Speaker 3: What's funny is I used to fucking love Grant Hill
Speaker 3: and he comes to Orlando and this fucking guy was
Speaker 3: always hurt and I remember hating him, And then fast
Speaker 3: forward my career. I go, I sign on, I'm always hurt,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, why do these people hate me?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, that's right.
Speaker 1: Because I once saw Grant Hill checking out of the
Speaker 1: hotel in uh in South Beach, and I couldn't believe
Speaker 1: how long he was complaining about his bill.
Speaker 2: I get like an extra tidy on his bill. I
Speaker 2: was just sitting there, going, why is he whining about this?
Speaker 2: Like just walk away? Do you check out a hotel?
Speaker 2: I don't either.
Speaker 1: I saw I saw Grant Hill yelling at somebody, so
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna listen.
Speaker 2: We probably should because our bill is probably a little No.
Speaker 2: I got Pete takes care of that boy pe. I
Speaker 2: need a Pete. Oh you don't. You don't have a Pete. No,
Speaker 2: you got to get a peat or pump probably pan double. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Have you been back to Gainesville? Yeah, so I went
Speaker 2: back this past year.
Speaker 3: I actually got inducted into the Hall of Fame. Thanks
Speaker 3: for having those and your fucking thirty eight questions and
Speaker 3: not that.
Speaker 2: Hall of fame like Hall of Fame or University of yea,
Speaker 2: let's dive into that.
Speaker 1: No, congratulations, thanks man, But yeah, I went back this
Speaker 1: last year. I go like I tried to go on,
Speaker 1: here's what I think of. If you're there for a
Speaker 1: football game, great, If you're not, it's a little depressing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're like, oh no, it's not as cute
Speaker 1: as I remember Namesville being.
Speaker 3: Well, now you go back and I'm old and I'm
Speaker 3: just creepy if I'm at the ball.
Speaker 2: It's just it's not it's not the same it was
Speaker 2: my last attempt. I want to know who this girl was.
Speaker 2: We need a new job. Can I write down the
Speaker 2: name that I think it is? Yep, No, it's not.
Speaker 2: Well she.
Speaker 3: Oh God tell me there's two of them this whole time.
Speaker 2: Getting double Oh man, that Chandler.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being on the show. All the best
Speaker 1: and uh, I'll see you around.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks to appreciate it, Pasha. Well, Carl, that backfired miserably.
Speaker 1: Now I want to have sex with Chandler Parsons too,
Speaker 1: Chandler Parsons, that's just fun to do. A lot of
Speaker 1: people are turned off by the NBA because, uh, the
Speaker 1: players complain about fouls too much. After every single play
Speaker 1: they're they're they're turning to the ref to complain. I
Speaker 1: have a solution for this that I think everybody would enjoy.
Speaker 1: When you complain about a foul, the ref immediately stops
Speaker 1: the game and then they go check to see if
Speaker 1: if you were right, and if you're wrong, the next
Speaker 1: time out, they bring out one of your family members
Speaker 1: or whoever you have watching the game in attendance. They
Speaker 1: bring them out during the little uh halftime where they
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes they'll have like a lady spinning plates
Speaker 1: or doing some entertainment. Now the entertainment is we bring
Speaker 1: out one of your your your friends or your family
Speaker 1: members and we cut a finger off. That's gonna be
Speaker 1: entertaining to watch. Sure if you're you're gonna want to
Speaker 1: go to the games, I go, oh yeah, I hear
Speaker 1: they sometimes cut family members' fingers off, and then it's
Speaker 1: gonna stop people from complaining. They're gonna be like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: I better get this right because my mom's only got
Speaker 1: two fingers.
Speaker 2: Left season ticket.
Speaker 1: This my this is my uh, this is my fix.
Speaker 1: I want to plug my stand up dates. But I
Speaker 1: also want to say something. When shows are sold out,
Speaker 1: don't go. People always just buy tickets. Second in hand,
Speaker 1: i've heard people say, oh, you know, I spent three
Speaker 1: hundred dollars for a ticket, and it was just okay,
Speaker 1: fuck you, my comedy's not worth three hundred dollars. Okay,
Speaker 1: you'll you buy them right when they come out. Oh
Speaker 1: the tickets are fifty nine dollars or something. I can
Speaker 1: give you an amazing night for fifty nine dollars three
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. No, that's not that's not the lane I'm in.
Speaker 1: That's your fault. There's a formula for my comedy. That's why.
Speaker 1: That's why this works. Right now, listening to Carl and
Speaker 1: I is entertaining. Why because you've spent zero dollars. If
Speaker 1: this was three hundred dollars, you'd be like, you fucking
Speaker 1: better make that dog dance or something. All right, So anyway,
Speaker 1: buy tickets to the ones that aren't sold out like
Speaker 1: I'm sure Louisville's got tons left Indianapolis. There's a second
Speaker 1: show there, So come see me in Vegas. You get
Speaker 1: it all right, don't forget the goat. Every Thursday a
Speaker 1: new episode drops boyswurpink dot com. Nothing cuter than seeing
Speaker 1: a toddler in pink, I've always said, Speaking of toddlers,
Speaker 1: another one of my son's riveting bedtime stories, We'll see
Speaker 1: you next week, went upon a.
Speaker 4: Time and a lamp in a two little tottlet chip
Speaker 4: twenty And they know't how the drum, but only sin.
Speaker 4: They didn't know how but the fwim. So one day
Speaker 4: they they got they put their babies, they went outside.
Speaker 4: They don't under the tred and they won't have a swim.
Speaker 4: And then the two d and it was so signed.
Speaker 4: So one day the old wheosen the ohos, oh whioso
Speaker 4: wheos and end when the orio sang, it tepted and
Speaker 4: louder and louder and wilder until it got super wilder,
Speaker 4: until there's a monster come in the end