Speaker 1: I felt like I had to protect myself from being
Speaker 1: hurt from people that I love. You got a special
Speaker 1: guest to build a ninety million records soul.
Speaker 2: Sixteen times a Grammy winning Resistant.
Speaker 1: But Alicia Keys, You're going to get to that pole.
Speaker 1: You see that light. After the pole, You're gonna get
Speaker 1: to that light. You see that tree after the light,
Speaker 1: You're going to get to that tree. And I discover
Speaker 1: that that is how we get where we're going. If
Speaker 1: it's something that you love, go after it because it's
Speaker 1: meant for you.
Speaker 2: The Number one health and Wellness Podcast, Jay Shetty Ja
Speaker 2: Shetty See one Only Shed. Hey, everyone, welcome back to
Speaker 2: on Purpose, the place you come to become the happier,
Speaker 2: healthier and more healed. I'm so grateful for the amazing
Speaker 2: conversations that I get to have, which are all about
Speaker 2: human evolution, growth, purification, and cleansing. Today's guest is someone
Speaker 2: who has talked about this at length in an amazing memoir,
Speaker 2: in a document entries in so many forms, and today
Speaker 2: I'm so excited that we finally have her on the
Speaker 2: podcast in the flesh in person, although her voice and
Speaker 2: her energy speaks through the microphone at any time. Today's
Speaker 2: guest is the one, the only. Alisha Keys, a sixteen
Speaker 2: time Grammy Award winning singer let Me say it Again,
Speaker 2: sixteen time Grammy Award winning singer, songwriter, musician, producer, founder
Speaker 2: of Key Soul Care, which you'll be hearing about today
Speaker 2: New York Times best selling author, film, television and Broadway producer,
Speaker 2: as well accomplished actress, entrepreneur, and a powerful force in
Speaker 2: the world of activism. Alisha is one of the original
Speaker 2: founders of She Is The Music, an initiative to create
Speaker 2: change for women and build an equal future for music.
Speaker 2: Alisha has sold over sixty five million records, over five
Speaker 2: billion streams, and built an unparalleled repertoire of hits and accomplishments.
Speaker 2: Hell's Kitchen, the thirteen time I'm Tony Award nominated original
Speaker 2: stage musical. Alicia diligently worked for thirteen years to create
Speaker 2: Open on Broadway at the Schubert Theater on April twentieth,
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. Today we're talking about Alicia's holistic beauty
Speaker 2: and skincare line, Key Soul Care, which I can't wait
Speaker 2: for you all to try. Welcome to On Purpose, Alicia
Speaker 2: Keys that's so.
Speaker 1: Weird, Like when you do all of that, there's something
Speaker 1: about it that's just so fascinating and just wow, And
Speaker 1: thank you for having me. And I can't believe we're
Speaker 1: in a flesh for the first time on this show,
Speaker 1: on this show, you know what I mean. This is
Speaker 1: so good and I love your show and I love
Speaker 1: your Your life's purpose is so beautiful. So thank you
Speaker 1: for having me in your space. I'm loving this.
Speaker 2: You've been so wonderful to me over the years. Honestly,
Speaker 2: we've had such a sweet relationship whenever we've collaborated, and
Speaker 2: from day one, you've always been so giving. But seeing
Speaker 2: as you reacted to them that way, I wonder whether
Speaker 2: little Alicia, if she saw that that was her life ahead,
Speaker 2: what would have been her reaction if she heard all
Speaker 2: of those things were going to happen in her life?
Speaker 1: Like you lying, like you lying, right? I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: as a kid, I really do remember having these dreams
Speaker 1: and visions and desires and wishes. But you just don't
Speaker 1: know what is going to come for you. You don't
Speaker 1: know what's in your world or what's going to come
Speaker 1: into your world. And I think a lot of times
Speaker 1: we are built to doubt the possibilities for ourselves, and
Speaker 1: so for self preservation and protection, we say, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's probably not gonna be that way for me, or
Speaker 1: you know, you know how it goes from you do
Speaker 1: these things, and I remember doing these things, and it
Speaker 1: wasn't until I stopped doing those things that things really
Speaker 1: started to change. So I still have a piece of
Speaker 1: insight of me that that is that little girl that's
Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, you protect, you want to
Speaker 1: protect what might go wrong, and so I find that
Speaker 1: I do that sometimes, which maybe is what happened when
Speaker 1: you just rattled off all those things, and I was
Speaker 1: a little bit like, it's so crazy and weird and
Speaker 1: strange and amazing at the same time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that's very relatable, I think for people to
Speaker 2: hear that right now, to think that there was a
Speaker 2: time in your life where doubts and anxiety and fear
Speaker 2: would creep in. Further, it always exists for all of us,
Speaker 2: but that it controlled a part of your life. What
Speaker 2: were some of the doubts and fears and anxieties you
Speaker 2: had growing up, whether it was to your dreams or
Speaker 2: whether it was to life in general.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? About when you were out,
Speaker 1: how about yesterday, you know what I mean, how about
Speaker 1: like three days ago? Like as a kid growing up,
Speaker 1: I think some of my fears really circulated around I
Speaker 1: remember I felt I felt fear full that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: or I felt like I had to protect myself from
Speaker 1: being hurt from people that I loved. I remember that
Speaker 1: that that was a that was a thing, and I
Speaker 1: had to figure my way through that. There was a
Speaker 1: sense of lack that I was worried about. I was
Speaker 1: worried about this state of lack or not having enough money,
Speaker 1: or not having enough, not being able to hold on
Speaker 1: to what you started to get, or things like that.
Speaker 1: I had to do a lot of work around that.
Speaker 1: That was a lot. That was a big one, because
Speaker 1: I mean, you really can perpetuate that cycle just simply
Speaker 1: by the fact that you believe it can happen, you know,
Speaker 1: And so that was a big one. I think that,
Speaker 1: you know, there's a there's a lot of there's a
Speaker 1: lot of fear or anxiety or worry around rejection. You know,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of that, especially as I started
Speaker 1: to become more some a public figure where people you know,
Speaker 1: could kind of choose to like or dislike. There was
Speaker 1: a it was. It's a difficult journey to understand that
Speaker 1: you you're never gonna please everyone, period, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: spend your all, you're gonna tear yourself apart trying to
Speaker 1: like make sure every single thing is the way someone
Speaker 1: else wants it to be. But I had a lot
Speaker 1: of fear about that, and I really was. It was
Speaker 1: a struggle for me and I, you know, I wanted
Speaker 1: to be accepted. I wanted to be liked. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be you know, I wanted to hear a positive
Speaker 1: reflection back to me, you know, And so it took
Speaker 1: a long time to kind of be like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't I can't depend on that, you know. I have
Speaker 1: to find my own stability. I have to find my
Speaker 1: own intuition. I have to find what I believe in,
Speaker 1: and at least I can stand on that. At least
Speaker 1: I can say I.
Speaker 2: Really believe that one.
Speaker 1: You know, if it didn't work out, but I really
Speaker 1: believed it, and I'm proud of it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And that's a big one, you know, talk
Speaker 1: about even yesterday, I mean Hell's Kitchen, where we talked
Speaker 1: about Hell's Kitchen, which is my musical, which has been
Speaker 1: a big dream in the making. There were moments where
Speaker 1: I'm like, is this gonna work? Like, what if the
Speaker 1: whole I have this whole vision, I know what I want,
Speaker 1: But what if for some reason, the whole thing doesn't
Speaker 1: go the way I want? What does that mean? I mean,
Speaker 1: you have many, many, many dollars, You have investors that
Speaker 1: you promised them to trust you. Can I carry this?
Speaker 1: Can I hold this? Can I manifest this? Terrifying? I
Speaker 1: mean I would speak to my kids about it just
Speaker 1: because I wanted them to know that it's scary. You know,
Speaker 1: it's scary to dream. But does that mean I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna dream it. I'm not gonna try it?
Speaker 2: No, I have to.
Speaker 1: So tons of things have been that I.
Speaker 2: Feel like so many people who are listening right now
Speaker 2: would say, at least I feel the same way. I
Speaker 2: talk to myself in my head and I think I
Speaker 2: can't do it. I'm not meant for it. It's it's
Speaker 2: not gonna happen for me. And at the same time,
Speaker 2: they have this voice inside of them that says, you're
Speaker 2: made for more, You're made of more. I know I
Speaker 2: need to believe in myself and we kind of feel
Speaker 2: this internal battle. How did you What was the work
Speaker 2: you had to do in order to go from someone
Speaker 2: who was anxious, doubtful to become someone who manifested this beautiful, incredible,
Speaker 2: full life. Not that it's easy that it came immediately,
Speaker 2: but what was the work in the beginning stages that
Speaker 2: you had to reorient your mind?
Speaker 1: That's a great question. I think one of the things
Speaker 1: that I had to come to terms with is that
Speaker 1: pretty much nothing is going to come in the time
Speaker 1: frame that you think is going to come. So that's
Speaker 1: and that's helpful because I think a lot of us
Speaker 1: are you know. I mean, we're in such a digital
Speaker 1: space and we see all these things, and we're bombarded
Speaker 1: with all these images, and we're bombarded with all these
Speaker 1: kind of like carefully crafted posts of perfection, and you
Speaker 1: get freaked out about it. Right, But I'm you know,
Speaker 1: and fortunately I didn't really have to grow up looking
Speaker 1: at that, so I empathize deeply with this generation. We
Speaker 1: have to evolve as young people on a whole other level.
Speaker 1: Then I even had to navigate. But what I mean
Speaker 1: by and why it relates is I did I felt
Speaker 1: like I've grew up in New York City. Everybody's a hustler.
Speaker 1: You gotta go fast, you gotta make it happen. You
Speaker 1: gotta stay up all night and get up cracking dawn.
Speaker 1: And it's not gonna happen if you don't. And I realized, wait,
Speaker 1: you know, as hard as I try to push the
Speaker 1: thing forward, when it's time, it's time. And if it's
Speaker 1: not time, it don't matter what I do. It doesn't
Speaker 1: no matter how much sleep I don't get, it's not
Speaker 1: going to be time until it's time. And so I
Speaker 1: think that that steadiness of like kind of you just
Speaker 1: have to put one foot in front of the other,
Speaker 1: is just as simple as that. And I remember when
Speaker 1: I did my first marathon. I ran in Greece, and
Speaker 1: I figured I'd never do another marathon, so I might
Speaker 1: as well do something forgettable. But I could. I couldn't
Speaker 1: figure out how it's gonna make it. Everything hurt, my
Speaker 1: feet hurt, my back hurt, my lower back hurt, my
Speaker 1: abs hurt, my body ached, and I couldn't figure out
Speaker 1: how am I gonna get there? And I remember I
Speaker 1: was running with my friend who trained with me and
Speaker 1: helped me, and he said, you see that pole, You're
Speaker 1: gonna get to that pole. You see that light after
Speaker 1: the pole, you're gonna get to that light. You see
Speaker 1: that tree after the light, You're gonna get to that tree.
Speaker 1: And it was literally that, step by step, and so
Speaker 1: I discovered that that is how we get where we're going,
Speaker 1: like this increment of small, determined moments. And so I
Speaker 1: think that as well as coupled with taking that negative
Speaker 1: talk out of your space, like being very conscious it happens,
Speaker 1: it's in your head, you hear it, You're like tell
Speaker 1: yourself the opposite thing. I mean, that's how I started
Speaker 1: to really get into affirmations, which I realized that I
Speaker 1: had to create what I wanted to hear. And oftentimes
Speaker 1: it's so many times it's the barrage of everyone else's
Speaker 1: doubts and fears. And your parents, you inherited theirs, and
Speaker 1: you inherited all your peers things, and you got all
Speaker 1: these things insiety, they're not even yours. And so I
Speaker 1: had to create this connection with affirmations that allowed me
Speaker 1: to say what I wanted to hear. And so I
Speaker 1: had to become very mindful to notice the negative so
Speaker 1: that I could replace it. And when I did that.
Speaker 1: It really changed everything. It changed a bunch and I
Speaker 1: had to stop saying things that I heard my mother say.
Speaker 1: I had to stop saying things that I heard whoever
Speaker 1: else I trusted say, because it wasn't serving me, because
Speaker 1: she had picked up some stuff that I didn't need
Speaker 1: to pick up. I didn't need to hold it. Stuff
Speaker 1: like that has been How how many marathings have you done? Now,
Speaker 1: I've done too. A di Greece and I did New York.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: And I realized the craziest thing. I realized that what
Speaker 1: I was experiencing, that ache, that pain, that lower back,
Speaker 1: and I think it was childbirth.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that because the first time I hadn't
Speaker 1: given birth. But when I gave birth, I recognized the
Speaker 1: sensations and it was similar to a marathon.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: It was kind of crazy, but there was a strength
Speaker 1: there that, you know, was really empowering. So only two.
Speaker 1: My brother's trying to get me do another one. I'm like, nah, be,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2: My wife'stard in London this year for the first time
Speaker 2: she's been training.
Speaker 1: It's cool when you do it, it's phenomenal and you
Speaker 1: really you really discover that it's that your mind is
Speaker 1: stronger than your physical being, and you really can find
Speaker 1: this place that you didn't know you could.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. What was your affirmation this morning? Mmm?
Speaker 1: My affirmation depends on the day, right, So today my
Speaker 1: affirmation is just I'm going to be on time because
Speaker 1: I struggle to get my kids to school on time.
Speaker 1: It's killing me. My my youngest son has just changed
Speaker 1: schools and he's going to another, so so now I'm
Speaker 1: taking both kids to two separate places. I'm struggling. And
Speaker 1: my second affirmation is I forgive myself. It's okay, like grace,
Speaker 1: have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. It's not
Speaker 1: like you're messing around and doing whatever. You're really trying
Speaker 1: your best and you're gonna figure out the rhythm of
Speaker 1: this thing. Have some grace.
Speaker 2: I love those. They're so practical. I think all of
Speaker 2: us can do all of them right. They're great. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And the time one's funny because it rends with my mom.
Speaker 2: My mom had to do the same for me and
Speaker 2: my sister because all boys schools, you're into an old
Speaker 2: girls school, and so my mom would have to drop
Speaker 2: her and then drop me all the other way around.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it is it's.
Speaker 1: More than a notion. You think I could do this
Speaker 1: if I just leave by this time, and for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: that time comes and goes over and over. So it's
Speaker 1: all good.
Speaker 2: But I love how simple that is. Like I think
Speaker 2: a lot of people all think affirmations always have to
Speaker 2: be this profound, like incredible statement, and you're like, it's
Speaker 2: just to be on time, and it's to forgive myself
Speaker 2: And that's so real because we need to forgive ourselves
Speaker 2: every day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's okay, it's okay, it's really okay. So you know,
Speaker 1: because you want the best, you want the best for yourself,
Speaker 1: you want the best for your family, you want the
Speaker 1: best outcome, you know, and it all comes from a
Speaker 1: good place. But I think sometimes we can beat ourselves
Speaker 1: up so badly about things that you know, we can
Speaker 1: just give ourselves a little bit of a break and
Speaker 1: we can start again and try again.
Speaker 2: And Okay, what was the last thing you beat yourself
Speaker 2: up about really badly where you were like, I really
Speaker 2: made myself feel comfortable, you.
Speaker 1: Know, I really try not to do that. I really do,
Speaker 1: Like I really I feel like I have a pretty
Speaker 1: good sense of self and I feel like I have
Speaker 1: a pretty good sense also of like reality, and so
Speaker 1: I don't over obsess and I don't over kind of like,
Speaker 1: I'm not overly mean to myself. But I did think
Speaker 1: about that the other day and I did I did this.
Speaker 1: I didn't put it up yet, but I did this.
Speaker 1: I do these things called piece of piece and and
Speaker 1: I call this speak to me nice, because you're not
Speaker 1: gonna let someone else talk to you just any type
Speaker 1: of way. You're like, excuse me, how did you just
Speaker 1: you just speak to me nice? But you yourself will
Speaker 1: speak to yourself in these crazy ways. And so I
Speaker 1: kind of was like just reflecting on you telling yourself,
Speaker 1: me telling myself speak to me nice, like talk to
Speaker 1: me with kindness and love. I learned that from my
Speaker 1: son a lot, because my youngest he is he's he's like,
Speaker 1: there's a little tough on himself, and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: speak to yourself nice. And so I think that is
Speaker 1: something that that I've learned how to embody. And I
Speaker 1: really try not to spin out too much, but you know,
Speaker 1: there are times of course you just you know you,
Speaker 1: but I'm like this is really doing no good. I'm
Speaker 1: really freaking out, and I was just like, why what
Speaker 1: are we doing in this space in this cycle? Sometimes
Speaker 1: you got to freak out, though, Yeah, because you got
Speaker 1: to learn something from it. You have to like take
Speaker 1: away whatever that is or that energy or that person
Speaker 1: who's spinning you like that, or that trigger that's triggering
Speaker 1: you like that, and you do have to kind of
Speaker 1: spin out just to be like WHOA that actually gets
Speaker 1: to me a lot why I've been learning a lot
Speaker 1: of that too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a I always like to remind people that
Speaker 2: guilt blocks growth, and shame doesn't help you shift, and
Speaker 2: judgment doesn't help you transform. Guilt blocks growth completely. It
Speaker 2: makes you wallow more in your guilt, and shame makes
Speaker 2: you feel stuck and shackled by it. Yes, and transformation
Speaker 2: is stunted when we're not able to be nice, kind,
Speaker 2: give ourselves grace. And it's funny because we all think
Speaker 2: we can guild ourselves into moving. But I kill myself enough,
Speaker 2: then maybe.
Speaker 1: I'll change, I'll be motivated.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe you will for like a couple of days,
Speaker 2: but over time it runs out. If you shame yourself
Speaker 2: into change, maybe for a couple of days you'll eat better,
Speaker 2: work out more. Whatever it is that you have your
Speaker 2: personal challenges with but it's not sustainable, Like shame and
Speaker 2: guilt are not sustainable emotions and they run out of
Speaker 2: steam very quickly. And I was thinking about something that
Speaker 2: you've spoken about before, is your journey with your own skin,
Speaker 2: and like how you've had skin anxiety. And I know
Speaker 2: at one point you went completely like no makeup at
Speaker 2: one period of time in your life. And then now
Speaker 2: of course you have this. You know, you're in the
Speaker 2: beauty industry now as well, and you really care about
Speaker 2: how people care about their internal and the casing that
Speaker 2: we all have. And I know that you, you know,
Speaker 2: live a conscious, spirited life, which I really want to
Speaker 2: dive into. But I think often those of us who
Speaker 2: live spirit your lives, we can be quite negligent of
Speaker 2: our casing and of this body, and you can.
Speaker 1: You can kind of disconnect, disconnect from it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, disconnect from it right right. And so I wanted
Speaker 2: to ask you, how is your relationship changed with your skin?
Speaker 2: That was something that brought you anxiety?
Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, I confident in skin. I mean it
Speaker 1: was forever, it was literally forever that I really struggled
Speaker 1: with my with my skin. And you know you're a
Speaker 1: teenager and your hormones and you get it and it's cool.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I was like eighteen,
Speaker 1: and then I was twenty three, and then I was
Speaker 1: twenty eight, and then I was thirty, and then I
Speaker 1: was like thirty five, and I'm like, WHOA, when does
Speaker 1: this thing stop? Like when I thought like sixteen, eighteen,
Speaker 1: twenty one, maybe why is it continuing? And it was
Speaker 1: really hard to especially to be in spaces where you
Speaker 1: would present yourself and you would feel just so self
Speaker 1: can I just felt so self conscious and I'm like,
Speaker 1: but there's a big bump right here, And then most
Speaker 1: people are like, I don't even see the damn bump.
Speaker 1: But I see the bump right here, and it's huge,
Speaker 1: and it feels really uncomfortable. You know, you just feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: You want to know why too, You want to know
Speaker 1: what's the matter? Is something wrong? Why? I thought, I'm
Speaker 1: what can I do to help this? And so that
Speaker 1: definitely caused me a lot of anxiety. I started in
Speaker 1: the music world when I was eighteen, and so that
Speaker 1: was right kind of at the precipice, and then the
Speaker 1: stress of the whole universe of music was just so much,
Speaker 1: and I was trying my best to play it cool
Speaker 1: and like I can handle it.
Speaker 2: I can do it.
Speaker 1: But it was stressful. It was a whole new world.
Speaker 1: I had to carry a new weight on my shoulders
Speaker 1: and try to you know, kind of like be calm
Speaker 1: while or cool while doing it, and it was tricky
Speaker 1: and my skin. I learned that my body react to stress.
Speaker 1: Our bodies react to stress. My personal body physically reacts
Speaker 1: to stress. Many of our personal bodies do this, which
Speaker 1: is obviously why even many diseases come to us from stress,
Speaker 1: because physically, it's a physical manifestation of this feeling, which
Speaker 1: is why it is so important for us to figure out,
Speaker 1: like what gives you peace, what calms you down, what
Speaker 1: makes you feel safe and like you're in your skin
Speaker 1: and you're yourself and these type of things. And so
Speaker 1: of course I didn't know what that was for a
Speaker 1: long time, but I realized that it was these relationships
Speaker 1: I was attracting, and it was the you know, the
Speaker 1: level of commitment I was agreeing to that left no
Speaker 1: space for me to reflect, or to sleep, or to
Speaker 1: be with my friends. And you know, do those have
Speaker 1: those outlets that do give you a sense of calm,
Speaker 1: and so my skin was so reactive that I said,
Speaker 1: one day to myself, if I one day I'm going
Speaker 1: to make something that fixes this, this, I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: something about this, because I know I'm not the only one.
Speaker 1: And I realized as I began to you know, live
Speaker 1: and experience so many different parts of my life, motherhood
Speaker 1: and you know, raising young kids and finding time for
Speaker 1: yourself really and getting rid of those toxic energies that
Speaker 1: were attacking me in real life. I realized that you
Speaker 1: really have to take care of your soul, like like
Speaker 1: you have to take care of your soul. So this
Speaker 1: philosophy of soul care really came from all of these
Speaker 1: understandings and all of these realizings that no one's going
Speaker 1: to do it for me. Like no, as much as
Speaker 1: I really really wish someone would stand up and be
Speaker 1: like you, you're not good for her, get out of here,
Speaker 1: that thing you you need to stop, No, I have
Speaker 1: to be the judge of that. And therefore I have
Speaker 1: to find my way to the understanding of how do
Speaker 1: I hear myself to know what is good and what
Speaker 1: is not, or what is real or what is true?
Speaker 1: And so There were many things that brought me to
Speaker 1: that place. Some of them were meditations that brought me
Speaker 1: there and really brought me to a more intuitive space.
Speaker 1: Some of them were just practicing the art of like, no,
Speaker 1: what do you think? No, I know six friends said this, Well,
Speaker 1: I know that very strong energy that always tells everybody
Speaker 1: what they think, said this, but what do you think?
Speaker 1: And that became the practice of soul care, and also
Speaker 1: these ideas of ancient rituals and what are some special
Speaker 1: ways that we can have peace and calm? And I
Speaker 1: was attracted to crystals and their powers and their meanings.
Speaker 1: I was attracted to journaling. And I have a very
Speaker 1: difficult time as a kid. I had a difficult time
Speaker 1: expressing my truth. And I realized that when I would
Speaker 1: ernal or do the stream of consciousness I could. I
Speaker 1: could actually just release it. I could let it go.
Speaker 1: And if I'm not good at doing that to someone
Speaker 1: else because I didn't trust as fully, I can do
Speaker 1: it with myself, you know. And so these practices of
Speaker 1: how do you kind of like depend on yourself to
Speaker 1: find your own grounding became my idea of what soul
Speaker 1: care is, which eventually became how I said I'm going
Speaker 1: to make that thing to fix that thing became this
Speaker 1: key soul care, And the idea is, to me, it's
Speaker 1: a philosophy, it's a way of life. It's a lifestyle
Speaker 1: to me, you know. You know, the beauty industry or
Speaker 1: the skincare industry, just like the music industry, all of
Speaker 1: it is kind of creating how to live within the chaos.
Speaker 1: And so how do we do it? Nobody teaches us.
Speaker 1: Normally it's a blessing if someone does, but normally it's
Speaker 1: not so finding these ways through affirmations, through the idea
Speaker 1: of really connecting to yourself and using the affirm are
Speaker 1: on every battle. Because the idea is you ash your face.
Speaker 1: You do that every day with the golden cleanser. You
Speaker 1: can also think about how I'm devoted to this moment
Speaker 1: because so many times we're over here, over there, back there.
Speaker 1: How can you just be right here with yourself right now?
Speaker 1: And so the idea is like creating this mixture of
Speaker 1: ancient rituals and we're skin meets soul and sole care
Speaker 1: because we have air care, hair care, and nail care,
Speaker 1: body care, home care, but we never had soul care.
Speaker 1: Why so I want to start it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so beautiful. I mean, I couldn't agree more.
Speaker 2: As someone who was very negligent of a lot of
Speaker 2: this stuff like growing up and not really thinking about it,
Speaker 2: I've seen the value of I'm a big fan of affirmations, right.
Speaker 2: I think, even when it comes to cleansing my face,
Speaker 2: what that means, what that feels like, how different I
Speaker 2: feel internally because of it, How it can be a
Speaker 2: reminder to continue to cleanse and detox the soul as
Speaker 2: well as that which is around me. There's so much
Speaker 2: of that connection from body, mind, spirit, and soul that
Speaker 2: that I think we lose and we don't realize how
Speaker 2: interconnected they all are. Well, you were saying about stress,
Speaker 2: I found really powerful because so for me, my stress
Speaker 2: shows up as tightness in my body, like I feel
Speaker 2: my stress is like it gets stored in my neck
Speaker 2: or my shoulders, and then I'm just feeling tight. Even
Speaker 2: though I was like, I didn't know I was stressed,
Speaker 2: I didn't know what I was going through. And as
Speaker 2: you're saying, for some people it shows up in their skin.
Speaker 2: I was going to ask you, there's a bit of
Speaker 2: an addiction. We also have to stress and drama and
Speaker 2: there's this feeling sometimes where we prefer it when we
Speaker 2: have stress and busyness, and we're workaholics and we like
Speaker 2: the drama, and almost when there's peace, we almost get
Speaker 2: confused and lost because the exactly we get scared, right, So,
Speaker 2: what would you say to someone who's actually they'd listen
Speaker 2: to us right now and they're like, wow, I just
Speaker 2: realized that that's why I am. I actually like I
Speaker 2: choose stress. Because do you.
Speaker 1: Think people come to that realization.
Speaker 2: I don't think people do it consciously, but I think
Speaker 2: unconsciously when I sit with people, they'll find that their
Speaker 2: inherited choice is to naturally stay busy, work a lot,
Speaker 2: create drama in their relationship, whatever it is, because we're
Speaker 2: more used to it, not because we're bad people or
Speaker 2: because we're wrong, but because we kind of feel familiar.
Speaker 2: And I'll give you the opposite example. I have lots
Speaker 2: of friends who will be like, oh, I'm dating this
Speaker 2: guy and it's really peaceful on board, and so there's
Speaker 2: that right where people actually have like peace and stillness
Speaker 2: and connection. We're like, yeah, yeah, there's nothing to talk about.
Speaker 2: So I don't think it's something that people do on purpose.
Speaker 2: And I don't think it's something that people even do
Speaker 2: it consciously, but I think we do like to stay
Speaker 2: busy and stressed to some degree. Hey everyone, it's Jay
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Speaker 1: I am familiar with that as well, and I'm kind
Speaker 1: of was just telling you that I had the best
Speaker 1: summer and it was my first summer where you know,
Speaker 1: the last two summers I was on tour and obviously
Speaker 1: those are just such a monster universe to try to
Speaker 1: like harness, and this summer was just like I was like,
Speaker 1: I am creating peace this summer. I am doing the
Speaker 1: things that everything I can imagine I want to do,
Speaker 1: I'm doing it this summer. And it was really liberating,
Speaker 1: really liberating. But it also does reflect to myself back
Speaker 1: to your point, the connection to the busyness equaling success
Speaker 1: or the busyness equaling you know, something positive, when surely
Speaker 1: there's positivity there for sure, But there is an addiction
Speaker 1: that I think comes with this idea of having to
Speaker 1: fill every minute and fill every second. And also there's
Speaker 1: the avoidance that we're all likely experiencing where we don't
Speaker 1: really want to face all the things underneath the things.
Speaker 1: So if we stay as busy as possible, we are
Speaker 1: like literally we don't even have time to think about
Speaker 1: those things or to reflect on those things. And so
Speaker 1: I do understand that lifestyle because I feel like for
Speaker 1: quite a while, I didn't even I would just say
Speaker 1: yes because I'm used to saying yes, yes, right, And
Speaker 1: I realized, wait, okay, you don't have to say yes.
Speaker 1: So do you want to say yes? Do you actually
Speaker 1: want to say yes, or do you just feel obligated
Speaker 1: to say yes for any number of reasons. So I
Speaker 1: think it's very powerful. I think you're right totally. The
Speaker 1: drama that we are, we've been conditioned.
Speaker 2: That's why I would right to.
Speaker 1: It's around us, it's what we see every day. We've
Speaker 1: seen our parents experience it in different ways. We've seen
Speaker 1: our friends go through it in different ways, and therefore
Speaker 1: that becomes the normal for us, and when we kind
Speaker 1: of crave it, we become addicted to it even without
Speaker 1: knowing it. So I think that practice of like that
Speaker 1: that perhaps is one of the opening When you said,
Speaker 1: how did you get to a place where you could,
Speaker 1: you know, find yourself in a where you are? I
Speaker 1: think part of that practice really did have to come
Speaker 1: to spending time with myself, and I made every excuse
Speaker 1: why I could spend time so my kids. I can't
Speaker 1: do it. My kids, you know, I can't leave them
Speaker 1: by themselves. I can't do it because I got to
Speaker 1: you know, who else is going to do. I got
Speaker 1: to feed the family, you know, we gotta do and
Speaker 1: they all seem valid. Makes sense to me, Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: Your kids.
Speaker 1: You should probably make sure your kids are good. And
Speaker 1: if I don't make sure I'm good, how can I
Speaker 1: make sure anybody is good? Ever, And so spending time
Speaker 1: with myself was I fought against it so much, but
Speaker 1: when I started to do it, I realized that I
Speaker 1: was more powerful than i'd ever been, and I was faster.
Speaker 1: I was able to do things quicker and more efficiently
Speaker 1: because I was so cloudy, you know, And that was cool.
Speaker 1: That was cool when you start to feel that where
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I don't have to spend so much
Speaker 1: time doing whatever action because I actually know what I
Speaker 1: want to do blah blah blah blah, and I'm decisive. Man.
Speaker 1: I felt so good. I had never felt decisive before
Speaker 1: in my life. I'd never felt clear, without thousands of
Speaker 1: other opinions, I never felt like my own self, so
Speaker 1: that was big. But spending time with myself was I
Speaker 1: believe one of the keys to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I'm hearing you talk about how much we
Speaker 2: have to filter from the outside world, you mentioned a
Speaker 2: few times your parents, people's parents, like a lot of
Speaker 2: a lot comes from our parents. And I know you
Speaker 2: spoke about so beautifully in your book that I got
Speaker 2: to interview about, which I love that. It was such
Speaker 2: a it is such a beautiful memoir that you wrote
Speaker 2: a few years back. And I was wondering what I
Speaker 2: always think about our parents giving us gifts and gaps,
Speaker 2: and we give us certain gifts and they leave certain gaps,
Speaker 2: and we end up spending our whole life trying to
Speaker 2: get other people to fill those gaps and give us
Speaker 2: the same gifts, and it creates a lot of good
Speaker 2: things and issues. So I was going to ask you,
Speaker 2: what would you say the gifts you got from your
Speaker 2: mother and father and what were the gaps that they
Speaker 2: left and how did they affect you? Oo?
Speaker 1: Okay, let me sit up for it takes my shirt
Speaker 1: real quick. The gifts, the gifts. One of the gifts
Speaker 1: that I got from my mother. I would say it's her,
Speaker 1: it's her strength. I feel like I really, I really
Speaker 1: bore witness to a woman who was like not to
Speaker 1: be like she just really now. I don't know if
Speaker 1: she wore that as an armor, you know, or what
Speaker 1: that was, but I found her to be quite like
Speaker 1: like straight and clear and strong, and there was kind
Speaker 1: of no getting around it, and you kind of just knew, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is what it is. And I feel like I
Speaker 1: really received a lot from that as a woman, as
Speaker 1: a young woman, as a woman who would have to
Speaker 1: be at the forefront of her own life and career
Speaker 1: and really have to be in my space of power,
Speaker 1: be around a lot of people that want to take
Speaker 1: your power, still your light, you know, lead you in
Speaker 1: the wrong spaces. I had to kind of be in
Speaker 1: my strength, and I did receive that from her. I
Speaker 1: received from my father, was I think. I think I
Speaker 1: think I also received a level of self determination because
Speaker 1: I had a unique relationship. My mother and my father
Speaker 1: were not married or together, and so one I had
Speaker 1: to learn that that's actually not unique or different. You know,
Speaker 1: there's not some kind of like family structure that's like
Speaker 1: the main one I think we get the painted that
Speaker 1: picture so much and then we feel so true, we
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable that ours doesn't look like that. But so
Speaker 1: I had to kind of know who I was also
Speaker 1: even in our relationship, and so I got a sense
Speaker 1: of self as well. Sense of self. The gap from
Speaker 1: the sense of self that I received from my father
Speaker 1: was probably maybe some feelings of not being worthy. So
Speaker 1: I received of that I had to restructure my brain around.
Speaker 1: And from my mother, I think I got a sense
Speaker 1: of fixing. I had to fix everything because in a
Speaker 1: lot of ways, if she was strong and angry, I
Speaker 1: had to be like soft and accommodating and kind of
Speaker 1: fix the situation. And so I think I received some
Speaker 1: of that, which I also had a real wire No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I can't fix everything. I just can't, And I can't
Speaker 1: be in my relationships like that because that's not gonna work.
Speaker 1: Man took lots of time, But those are my gifts
Speaker 1: and my guess I'm asking that to many people. This
Speaker 1: is a great question.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it has such a we don't realize
Speaker 2: how much of an impact it has on every relationship
Speaker 2: that comes after those relationships with our parents, and how
Speaker 2: it becomes like the guiding map of our whole life.
Speaker 2: And then you look back and you go, why am
Speaker 2: I expecting someone to give me this gift? It's like,
Speaker 2: because my parents gave me. And now I want everyone
Speaker 2: that loves me to show me they love me in
Speaker 2: this way, and I want them to fill this exact gap.
Speaker 2: And if they don't fill this gap, then they don't
Speaker 2: love me. Because that was where that's self worth you
Speaker 2: are saying of like, because if you were made to
Speaker 2: feel unworthy in a certain way, then you think anyone
Speaker 2: who doesn't show you love in that way, then they
Speaker 2: don't think you're worthy. But they may not they're not
Speaker 2: aware of the gift and the gap right and there
Speaker 2: as well, So that's the Yeah, it's a lot. It's
Speaker 2: a lot. And I mean obviously you've been married for
Speaker 2: what fourteen years? Yes, that's amazing, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: We're like, whoa, that's crazy, it's brilliant love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you look I always whenever I see. But if
Speaker 2: you seem so happy and joyous and you know, complimentary
Speaker 2: to each other, I think what I found really fascinating
Speaker 2: in relationships is what people end up teaching each other.
Speaker 2: What would you say, Swiss has been able to teach you,
Speaker 2: and what have you taught him?
Speaker 1: He's definitely taught me how to be like much more
Speaker 1: in the flow, Like it's all about kind of the
Speaker 1: magic of the moment and allowing the flow, like just
Speaker 1: slide into the slipstream let it happen, like, let it happen.
Speaker 1: That's been a big lesson he's given me. And what
Speaker 1: I've been able to give him is probably a little
Speaker 1: bit more of like, let's design what we want to happen,
Speaker 1: you know, as we're letting it happen, let's also like
Speaker 1: design it and craft it and strategize it and create
Speaker 1: it and schedule it so that it can really really happen.
Speaker 1: And I love how we balance each other like that.
Speaker 1: There's been just so much growth between us and so
Speaker 1: in such a positive way because we really do compliment
Speaker 1: each other, so it feels natural in those ways.
Speaker 2: So I'm you and my wife Swizz, So I'm like
Speaker 2: that very very like I'm like strategy designed, intentional life
Speaker 2: and she's just like this. But I wanted to ask you,
Speaker 2: is those things seem like they're at loggerheads with each other, right,
Speaker 2: Like they seem like on the outside, that would seem like, well,
Speaker 2: if he's like go with the flow and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: but we need to know what we're doing, that sounds
Speaker 2: like a terrible matchup. Like that sounds like a fight
Speaker 2: ready to you know, explode, waiting to happen. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: an explosion because that's completely contradictory in terms of him
Speaker 2: being in flow and same with RADI like being completely
Speaker 2: this bundle and ball of energy and joy and then
Speaker 2: we're both trying to be more thoughtful and strategic. So
Speaker 2: how does that How have you allowed each other to
Speaker 2: operate as who you are and take without feeling like
Speaker 2: someone's trying to change you or that you've got to
Speaker 2: be someone else or they've got to be someone else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I think it's I think it's a good point. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, I don't think I think actually it
Speaker 1: tends to work better when there's two different perspectives, right,
Speaker 1: because if you think exactly what I think and I
Speaker 1: think exactly what you think, and we might get to
Speaker 1: that place of boredom or to discussed. But what I
Speaker 1: took from what you said on board, I took almost
Speaker 1: like there's not a stimuli, right, There's not like the
Speaker 1: stimulation that comes sometimes, and I think that might happen
Speaker 1: if you're almost too similar. There's a stimulation from meeting
Speaker 1: and opposition and meeting like a different way of thinking,
Speaker 1: and then having to think about it and put it
Speaker 1: into your world. So yeah, I think that the flow
Speaker 1: is just because I love how he thinks, and how
Speaker 1: he thinks is so uniquely him, and it does inspire me.
Speaker 1: And yet I can still be connected to my own
Speaker 1: and similar lee. I think how I think does inspire him.
Speaker 1: He says, let me think about that more, let me
Speaker 1: put a little more thought into how we're doing this,
Speaker 1: And yet doesn't have to take him from his own
Speaker 1: so Ever, since the day our vows were about this
Speaker 1: idea of loving with an open hand, there's a beautiful
Speaker 1: thought of loving with an open hand, and you know
Speaker 1: that everyone should be free to fly as they want
Speaker 1: to fly. It should never be a closed hand over
Speaker 1: around someone.
Speaker 2: Like that.
Speaker 1: You know, it should be this open hand, And so
Speaker 1: we really have always looked at it like that. He'll
Speaker 1: always says, she's her own boss. I don't have anything
Speaker 1: to do with whatever she's choosing. Don't call me, and
Speaker 1: asked me to try to get her I can't. She's
Speaker 1: her own boss, so talk to her about whatever that
Speaker 1: might be. And and so there's always been that respect
Speaker 1: there that we each have our own way of flowing
Speaker 1: and it works.
Speaker 2: It works. That's beautiful to hear. And I love that.
Speaker 2: Did you write there was that poem that you came across?
Speaker 1: I can remember where that came from, but I wrote
Speaker 1: a song about it that never came out, no way, Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I always loved that metaphor so do I.
Speaker 2: Just as when you were moving your hands for anyone
Speaker 2: who's not watching right, Alicia was moving her hands from
Speaker 2: being open to like holding one of her hands closed.
Speaker 2: And we do that.
Speaker 1: We like stifle each other and hold each other and
Speaker 1: demand these things and don't want people to be free
Speaker 1: to express and feel fear and worry when people are
Speaker 1: bright and shining, and we feel, you know, sometimes afraid
Speaker 1: of that that they would somehow not need us anymore
Speaker 1: or not want us anymore. And you know, but there's
Speaker 1: this beautiful thing of just being, this equanimity that's what
Speaker 1: I've always experienced with him. It's like this equanimity between
Speaker 1: us that I've never felt anywhere else, And it's natural.
Speaker 1: We just have a similar frequency that we vibrate on
Speaker 1: and it just works. And I've been in situations where
Speaker 1: it's like, man, I kind of have to keep I
Speaker 1: can come out here with me, or I have to
Speaker 1: go you know, find that, but it's like we're not
Speaker 1: quite on the same level. And so that means something.
Speaker 1: You know, finding that frequency that vibrates with you is
Speaker 1: a thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I love that. I wrote a chapter of
Speaker 2: my last book called your partner is your Guru, and
Speaker 2: it's that I feel that way, like you know, and
Speaker 2: I think that the quality that required so much in
Speaker 2: long term relationships as humility, and it's the hardest quality
Speaker 2: to have with your partner often where we have our
Speaker 2: biggest egos and we say this is the person we
Speaker 2: love the most, but they're the person we have the
Speaker 2: least humility with, Like if they don't like what we're wearing,
Speaker 2: or if they give us feedback or that it hurts
Speaker 2: the most.
Speaker 1: Because so so so pure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, good point stops us sometimes from opening up,
Speaker 2: as you're talking about as you have been able to like.
Speaker 2: It stops you from sometimes learning from that person because
Speaker 2: you think your ways the right way, or that what
Speaker 2: you learned and what you inherited was the right way
Speaker 2: to solve a problem, especially I'm imagining when you have kids.
Speaker 1: That's first, because we do find ourselves in those circumstances
Speaker 1: where naturally something that he might feel is quite different
Speaker 1: from what I might feel in regards to the kids.
Speaker 1: And you know, I think that anytime that's happened, I
Speaker 1: can reflect that there surely has is a better way
Speaker 1: of communicating what it is. And I find that that
Speaker 1: is the most powerful part. How do you choose to
Speaker 1: communicate with the people that you love is really the
Speaker 1: key to kind of life, like literally that that energy
Speaker 1: that you're giving and how you're choosing to communicate will
Speaker 1: make the difference between you know, something where you both
Speaker 1: can evolve and both can say I get it, I
Speaker 1: see what you mean, and you can see what I mean,
Speaker 1: and we can kind of find our way through it.
Speaker 1: Or they argument, this is just a pain, and you
Speaker 1: got you know, you gotta do all that, which we
Speaker 1: actually don't argue. We have a we don't we don't argue.
Speaker 1: Surely we get upset or we disagree, but there's not
Speaker 1: like a yelling and screaming and an arguing and a
Speaker 1: k and a slamming and a throwing there's not that,
Speaker 1: Like we respect each other too much for that. And
Speaker 1: I really appreciate that that that's the energy because I
Speaker 1: do also appreciate that many people have to or choose
Speaker 1: to or find themselves in the place of experiencing that
Speaker 1: type of you know, interaction, and man, I mean that
Speaker 1: is just so stressful and hard all around. So I'm
Speaker 1: proud that we can like find that that place and
Speaker 1: it is possible. Yeah, it is possible.
Speaker 2: Well, it sounds like you've both been quite intentional about
Speaker 2: your relationship from your vows from the beginning of like
Speaker 2: what does this look like, right? And what are the
Speaker 2: barriers around disagreements? Right, Like we're allowed to disagree. We're
Speaker 2: allowed to and the same with me in my wife
Speaker 2: we have a rule as well, like no yelling, no
Speaker 2: raising the voice, no obviously nothing physical, but like right,
Speaker 2: there has to be a very clear way of solving this,
Speaker 2: and we're allowed to disagree. We're allowed to end on
Speaker 2: completely two different sides of a conversation. We don't have
Speaker 2: to end with perfect resolution. It may not be the way,
Speaker 2: but we don't have to get there in a violent,
Speaker 2: aggressive or tension field way. Through our words or our actions,
Speaker 2: or our how loud we are, because that pushes the
Speaker 2: person away so much. I've read this poem that was
Speaker 2: talking about when people argue, they have to shout and
Speaker 2: scream because that's how distant their souls are. And so
Speaker 2: even though you're standing right in front of them, so
Speaker 2: far away from you that you have to shout in
Speaker 2: order to communicate, but you don't realize that that just
Speaker 2: pushes them further away, and that actually if you whispered
Speaker 2: and you were quiet, and you would actually draw them closer. Bar. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so it you know, I love that. I love
Speaker 2: that metaphor, and I can't. I need to hear this
Speaker 2: song that you've written about the hands.
Speaker 1: I find it. I'll find it, at least i'll send
Speaker 1: it to you, but i'll find that. I really like
Speaker 1: it special. It's a special song. I wrote it when
Speaker 1: I came back from Egypt, and so it was a
Speaker 1: while ago, but I took that a special ship to Egypt,
Speaker 1: and I did a lot of songwriting right after that,
Speaker 1: and that was kind of one of them. And it
Speaker 1: was actually in honor of my godmother, who did experience
Speaker 1: quite an abusive relationship. And so the line was the
Speaker 1: tightest grip is an open hand.
Speaker 2: I love that. That's beautiful. That's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: How do you decide that a song doesn't come out? Like?
Speaker 2: How does? How does? Because how many songs does an
Speaker 2: artists make? That? Never? So many like in your in
Speaker 2: your lifetime, like how many songs? Never would? Would someone have? Never?
Speaker 1: Three hundred?
Speaker 2: Wow? Yeah, So that's like twenty albums with.
Speaker 1: So many, so many that just you know, half done,
Speaker 1: or you know, didn't quite just come together or just
Speaker 1: didn't have that special thing enough to go to the
Speaker 1: next level, or time passes in your relationship to yourself
Speaker 1: is changing, so what you were, what you were expressing
Speaker 1: at one point just doesn't represent where you are now.
Speaker 1: And so then that kind of has its own In fact,
Speaker 1: one of my albums, Keys, has a song on it
Speaker 1: called is It Insane? And Keys came out in like
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, and is It Insane, which written in
Speaker 1: like two thousand. It's like it was, but it was
Speaker 1: not ready until that moment and then it was ready.
Speaker 1: So back to that whole thing where nothing's ever ready
Speaker 1: when you think it's time, yeah, and then finally you're like,
Speaker 1: oh it's time.
Speaker 2: I get it. Yeah, and times usually you're so. When
Speaker 2: you said that earlier, I thought of it. I was like,
Speaker 2: time is actually what puts anxiety onto everything. If we
Speaker 2: say I have to have achieved this by this age,
Speaker 2: that's now the anxiety because if it took twenty three years,
Speaker 2: it took twenty three years and you got there in
Speaker 2: the end, right. But if you said this has to
Speaker 2: be ready this year, that's what put anxiety on everything.
Speaker 2: And I was thinking about that. You're so right that
Speaker 2: when I make something not on the universe's time and
Speaker 2: not on de fin timing, and it's on my timing.
Speaker 1: That's when you're stressed.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm stressed about.
Speaker 1: Freaking out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And of course there are things you have to
Speaker 2: like if you have contracts and commitments.
Speaker 1: And you have to get it in a time, yeah,
Speaker 1: you do your best.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But it's when we're asking or trying to manifest
Speaker 2: things that we put time on. It changes what you
Speaker 2: were saying you love crystals earlier. I was wondering, what's
Speaker 2: your favorite crystal and where did you find it? How
Speaker 2: did you learn about them? I feel like you have
Speaker 2: such a deeply spiritual side. I don't want to hear
Speaker 2: about it, because I don't think we've dived into this before.
Speaker 1: I love that's a good one man. Okay, So where
Speaker 1: did my love for crystals come first? I think that
Speaker 1: I learned that going to these crystal shops, there's something
Speaker 1: so beautiful about the process. And I remember doing a
Speaker 1: beautiful book called The Artist's Way Julia Cameron. I believe
Speaker 1: her name is like tried and true book, like classic,
Speaker 1: and one of the things that was beautiful about it
Speaker 1: is she says, take yourself on an artist's date. So
Speaker 1: once a week you were meant to take yourself on
Speaker 1: an artist date, which meant you couldn't go with no
Speaker 1: one except yourself, and you had to think of what
Speaker 1: would serve you on that date, which is quite hard
Speaker 1: for many of us, Like what will make me happy?
Speaker 1: Where would I like to go? In crystal shops? This
Speaker 1: is what I discovered was one of the things I
Speaker 1: loved it. I loved the peace and the serenity. I
Speaker 1: loved exploring every name. I found that if I went
Speaker 1: to one, it would be exactly the one I needed.
Speaker 1: I would just look at the way it looked and
Speaker 1: I would pick it up. I'm like, that's what I
Speaker 1: need right now. I need more courage, I need more,
Speaker 1: I need more manifestation, I need more clarity. When I
Speaker 1: did take my trip to Egypt that we talked about,
Speaker 1: I learned that the native it was native to where
Speaker 1: we were was the Lupus lazui that blew powerful stone,
Speaker 1: and I just became fascinated with it. So the more
Speaker 1: that I discovered, the more that crystals became. I'm a
Speaker 1: part of my life. Even in my son's pocket, I'll
Speaker 1: put a crystal. If he's feeling worried, or if he's
Speaker 1: feeling like or if he needs a little grounding, I'll
Speaker 1: put a crystal in his pocket, or I'll tell him
Speaker 1: hold it, just because I do know. There is something
Speaker 1: about the power of crystals, and that in fact is
Speaker 1: one of the most kind of secret parts of Key's
Speaker 1: soul care because the crystals are infused into the offerings,
Speaker 1: and we have these beautiful offerings called the Illuminating Serum,
Speaker 1: which I just love because we need to illuminate as
Speaker 1: much as possible, and they are really based on these crystals.
Speaker 1: So one's the moonstone aura, and that is so good manifestation.
Speaker 1: One is the bronzeite aura, and that is all about courage,
Speaker 1: and one is the quartz, the golden quartz Aura's and
Speaker 1: that is so each one has these powers that even
Speaker 1: you should put on your body in your universe. And
Speaker 1: I just love that because there is such a there
Speaker 1: is a strength, there is a power, there is a mysticism,
Speaker 1: there is a there are these ancient rituals, like our
Speaker 1: ancestors did these things hundreds and hundreds of years ago,
Speaker 1: and we've somehow sometimes lost touch with those rituals in
Speaker 1: those ancient ways, and so I love discovering them and
Speaker 1: they really give me a sense of like I feel
Speaker 1: like I have something in my pocket that's like it's
Speaker 1: going to help me and I really really love it.
Speaker 2: Or on my body. Yeah, now you can put it
Speaker 2: on your money.
Speaker 1: It feels like and it illuminates you. So it also
Speaker 1: gives you that glow that's just really already even within you.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's the point.
Speaker 2: No, I love that you've infused it in the offerings
Speaker 2: because I feel like I too love that. Like I
Speaker 2: sometimes you see a crystal and you're just drawn to it,
Speaker 2: where you see a gem and you're just drawn to
Speaker 2: it and you can't explain it because it's not like
Speaker 2: you were into that color or you're into that shape,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, you're just like, why am
Speaker 2: I attracted to this thing?
Speaker 1: Because you need it?
Speaker 2: Because it exactly And I think we've lost the ability
Speaker 2: to trust ourselves on what we need because everything's become
Speaker 2: didactic and tactical and kind of too formulated.
Speaker 1: I'm very moved by this because as we were just
Speaker 1: talking about kids, and you know, as a parent, you
Speaker 1: think about we do take we can We have the
Speaker 1: power to take the trust from people when they feel
Speaker 1: like they can't trust themselves because we judge them on
Speaker 1: something that they've decided. And we do this as adults
Speaker 1: to each other. We do this as parents to kids.
Speaker 1: We do this as friends, you know, And we do
Speaker 1: this thing where we judge a person, and now we've
Speaker 1: taken away a bit of their trust in themselves because
Speaker 1: they feel like this person may fun of me when
Speaker 1: I did this.
Speaker 2: I won't do that.
Speaker 1: But your instinct was to do this, and you loved it.
Speaker 1: When you did it, you were happy, you were excited,
Speaker 1: you were giddy. And perhaps we allow people to steal
Speaker 1: that from us. But many times we're not in a
Speaker 1: position of awareness, so we just find that we then
Speaker 1: distrust ourselves. And I think that's a big one, because
Speaker 1: how can we start to trust ourselves again. How can
Speaker 1: we practice like, no, no, this is good for me.
Speaker 1: You might not like it. It's cool. You don't have
Speaker 1: to do it. I'm not telling you to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you I'm doing it. And I think that's
Speaker 1: really important. And I hope that we can first be
Speaker 1: a little bit more conscious of always injecting our opinion
Speaker 1: on everybody, as parents, as friends, as you know, elders,
Speaker 1: and secondly to as the people who have to navigate
Speaker 1: our way through that, remembering that if that was our
Speaker 1: first instinct and we felt joy with it, know, then
Speaker 1: there's something in there to learn or explore or find
Speaker 1: the color and or curiosity and and and I want
Speaker 1: us to do I want us and not forget that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a big one. You just said.
Speaker 2: No, you so well said. I couldn't agree with you more.
Speaker 2: And I remember when I first trained to be a coach,
Speaker 2: the number one training was how you don't project your
Speaker 2: life and your limits onto anyone, Like that's the core skill,
Speaker 2: because that's all we do all day. Like someone says
Speaker 2: their idea and we project our view to it, right,
Speaker 2: Like someone's like, hey, I want to be a singer
Speaker 2: like Alicia Keys, and you're like, yeah, you might as well. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's like, but you have no idea what they're saying.
Speaker 2: You don't. You're not listening to them, there's no there's
Speaker 2: no learning, and you're just projecting what you feel. Or
Speaker 2: someone says I think I'm quitting my job and pursuing
Speaker 2: my passion on this thing, and you're like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: don't do that, Like that's risky, and it's like, well,
Speaker 2: maybe it's maybe they need it. Yeah, maybe it's needed.
Speaker 2: Maybe risk is okay for them. And but we're so
Speaker 2: quick and you're so right that our friends are family
Speaker 2: and we we do that to others and we do
Speaker 2: to our partners as well, Like when they're just saying, hey,
Speaker 2: you know what, I think I need a weekend off
Speaker 2: this weekend and you're like, no, maybe there's a few
Speaker 2: things you need to get done, and they're actually yeah,
Speaker 2: and you're so what you said so beautifully is we
Speaker 2: stop people from trusting themselves. Like I think that really
Speaker 2: resonated with me, and I think that's why I feel
Speaker 2: the fact that you've infused all these crystals into your offerings.
Speaker 2: I love that because it's it's a daily reminder of
Speaker 2: trusting that when you I always say this to people,
Speaker 2: I'm like, we don't use our senses enough. Like the
Speaker 2: scent is so powerful, right, your products smell amazing and
Speaker 2: the sense amazing, and it's like we underestimate how much
Speaker 2: we know what we need by scent. Like I love it.
Speaker 2: I remember when I first got a massage and they
Speaker 2: brought out all the different oils. They said which one
Speaker 2: and they were like, you know by smelling, and I
Speaker 2: was like, what does that mean? And then you do
Speaker 2: it and you're like, oh, wait a minute, I do know.
Speaker 2: I do know that I need number three, which has
Speaker 2: lavender and you ca liptus or whatever it is, because
Speaker 2: I'm seeking rest and relaxation, or I do need citrus
Speaker 2: because I'm seeking energy, and you know right, but we
Speaker 2: don't use that set. We don't use our power of scent,
Speaker 2: of sight, of sound to know what we need.
Speaker 1: And the part that I love about what you said
Speaker 1: and the knowing the affirmation on the illuminating serum is
Speaker 1: I give myself permission to glow because I just so
Speaker 1: many times we just or we stunt the growth, or
Speaker 1: we stunt the glow, or we feel embarrassed by the
Speaker 1: fact that we are, you know, bright, and or we
Speaker 1: to your point about the addiction to the negative, like
Speaker 1: if we are feeling good, how many times have you
Speaker 1: felt good but your friend wasn't feeling so good? So
Speaker 1: you kind of they might say, well, how are you feeling?
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm all right, but you're really actually great
Speaker 1: and you're actually glowing. And I think sometimes we dim
Speaker 1: you know, I know, we dim our light, which is
Speaker 1: another affirmation on the on the candle, is you know
Speaker 1: this idea of not dimming your light, like don't dial
Speaker 1: it back, you know, because we do it, and it's
Speaker 1: only because we don't we want to be kind to
Speaker 1: the people that were around. But I think there's an
Speaker 1: inspiration that comes from giving yourself permission to glow. There's
Speaker 1: the empowerment that a person looks at you and says,
Speaker 1: they don't they look like and I want to feel
Speaker 1: like that, Like I'm going to do more of that,
Speaker 1: you know, giving yourself that permission. I love that. I
Speaker 1: really it's a really special reminder.
Speaker 2: What are your go to rituals when you are having
Speaker 2: a day that it's just hard, stressful, tough, demanding. What's
Speaker 2: your go to, non negotiable set of rituals that at
Speaker 2: least you keys turns to when when it's really it's
Speaker 2: really tough.
Speaker 1: I definitely find that one of my go tos is
Speaker 1: for sure a meditation. Just find that I try my
Speaker 1: best to meditate frequently so that I do find that
Speaker 1: that balances you. You don't have to kind of fix
Speaker 1: what's happening. You find the continuity with the balance. But
Speaker 1: I do find that when I need it, I really
Speaker 1: I really relate to a meditation. It kind of just
Speaker 1: brings me back to the center. It brings me back
Speaker 1: to again that quietness. I get a second of quiet,
Speaker 1: even if I have to wake up before the kids.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wake up at five thirty, so I can
Speaker 1: have twenty minutes of just like or I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: up at five forty five, whatever it is. And I
Speaker 1: really find that settles my spirit because usually if I'm
Speaker 1: having a tough one, I'm not sleeping well either, because
Speaker 1: it's just like the internal noise and all those things.
Speaker 1: So I really I really love the ground there. I
Speaker 1: will journal. I find that the journaling is also really again,
Speaker 1: I've always had to just kind of release things more
Speaker 1: freely than I find I can do it other people.
Speaker 1: So that really helps A really good workout. Key keep
Speaker 1: get me sweating, get me kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: just like feel your power of your body. That helps
Speaker 1: me a lot. Then of course I'm going to wash
Speaker 1: my face. I'm gonna release. As we talked about, the
Speaker 1: Golden cleanser is gonna let me, like let it go.
Speaker 1: I have this beautiful, rich transformation cream and on it
Speaker 1: it says I welcome all circumstances as a catalyst for change.
Speaker 2: Wow. And so I can.
Speaker 1: Probably reflect on the fact that this isn't bad or good,
Speaker 1: this is just a catalyst to change something. And then
Speaker 1: I get my illuminating seramony because I'm going to be
Speaker 1: glowing and I'm giving myself the permission. And I do
Speaker 1: love a bath. I do love a bath. I do
Speaker 1: love you know. Back to the oils or the herbs,
Speaker 1: I find that even the crystal can come into play
Speaker 1: if I need to just kind of like release something.
Speaker 1: And definitely the intentions and the affirmations come into play,
Speaker 1: because I find that whatever's bothering me, I'll kind of
Speaker 1: it's something that's challenging me. Maybe I don't want to
Speaker 1: fail at something, or I don't want to I don't
Speaker 1: want something to go wrong, or and I kind of
Speaker 1: use that to say whatever it is that I might need,
Speaker 1: and you know, hey, sometimes it's just gonna be a
Speaker 1: hard day, maybe be a hard week, maybe be a
Speaker 1: hard month. But doing that consistently, I know I'm fueling
Speaker 1: myself and I'm pouring in there, and I feel better.
Speaker 2: What works for kids, Like what rituals do you feel
Speaker 2: you've actually been able to pass on because they're young,
Speaker 2: And I always feel like a lot of parents want
Speaker 2: their kids to do things, but I feel like you
Speaker 2: may be mindful in knowing what works and what doesn't
Speaker 2: and what do they like and what are they not Like.
Speaker 1: Well, I used to force Egypt to meditate. I was like,
Speaker 1: you want whatever you want, come men. That worked for
Speaker 1: a while. He's really big now and he's thirteen, so
Speaker 1: I feel like I could still kind of push him
Speaker 1: into it. But it was cool because he I think
Speaker 1: when I do my meditation, he can say every words
Speaker 1: Okan Genesis. And even though they don't necessarily do it
Speaker 1: with me all the time, they know it and they
Speaker 1: feel it and they hear it, and so I do
Speaker 1: think that idea of kind of like just sitting with
Speaker 1: yourself again is a great practice for kids because you know,
Speaker 1: it just has to be long, five minutes, cool, really quick.
Speaker 1: A lot of the times, I'm also I'm also talking
Speaker 1: to my kids a lot about gratitude. I think gratitude
Speaker 1: is the key key. It's the most simple but potent
Speaker 1: key to changing the energy. I know I felt times
Speaker 1: before a while I'm like, I'm just pissed off because
Speaker 1: someone did something, and I'm like and I'm sicking, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to do it and i am steaming, and I'll
Speaker 1: just like start to list what I'm grateful for. It
Speaker 1: changes everything everything. And I try to also share with
Speaker 1: my kids that you know, give thanks, give thanks, and
Speaker 1: also pray, make a prayer for what it is you're
Speaker 1: thankful for and what it is you're looking for. And
Speaker 1: I promise you you will open every door for yourself.
Speaker 1: I promise every time I leave the room. I older ones,
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll pray with them. Sometimes I let them, you know,
Speaker 1: be in his own zone and I say, don't forget
Speaker 1: to pray, like, don't forget, just be grateful and pray
Speaker 1: because the gratitude is like, it's key. I really do
Speaker 1: feel that it's a key ingredient to settling. And definitely
Speaker 1: it's a joy, which I think is what we're all
Speaker 1: looking for, absolutely right and joy.
Speaker 2: I love hearing what you're passing on to the kids,
Speaker 2: And I think so much of it is them watching
Speaker 2: you do it or them doing it with you. And
Speaker 2: I think you're saying a good example and that makes
Speaker 2: it easier because there's only so much you can tell
Speaker 2: a kid to do something. But if you're there doing it,
Speaker 2: showing up, turning up, enjoyed you.
Speaker 1: They get used to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they get used to it and they see that
Speaker 2: at least Mom values it. And you know, even their names,
Speaker 2: they're like Egypt and Genesis, Like I feel like those
Speaker 2: names are so powerful.
Speaker 1: Man, I love those names.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're really powerful.
Speaker 1: Foo. I mean yeah, Egypt. It's been so cool because
Speaker 1: like even just as watching him grow and he's always
Speaker 1: been super into architecture and math, and I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: maybe that I feel like the name connection really brought
Speaker 1: that to him in so many ways, and and Genesis
Speaker 1: is like WHOA. I'm like, we might have needed to
Speaker 1: rethink name of that. But it's so good. He's so
Speaker 1: like kind of strong and clear, and you know, he's he's, he's,
Speaker 1: he's he doesn't you know, he doesn't bend. And I
Speaker 1: really appreciate that for him because I spent so much
Speaker 1: of my life bending and contorting and shifting and changing
Speaker 1: and trying to please that I love. And he's like, no,
Speaker 1: and he won't. That's it. I'm like, Okay, I'm go.
Speaker 1: I need you to try to be a little bit fluid,
Speaker 1: like a little fluid on occasion, not every time, just
Speaker 1: once in a while. But I love that for him.
Speaker 1: I love that he's clear. He's clear. And that's it.
Speaker 2: What's something you've been trying to learn recently or work
Speaker 2: on recently internally for yourself? The kids are work.
Speaker 1: I think I've just been working on just listening.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that we all have such big personalities. I
Speaker 1: think I feel for the kids sometimes like the dad
Speaker 1: has this huge personality, and we have this big personality,
Speaker 1: and I answer every question and I react to everything
Speaker 1: and I'm always saying yeah, oh yeah, And sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 1: I think I can just be more siglent, and I
Speaker 1: think I can just actually let me allow them the
Speaker 1: space to and everybody the space to just kind of
Speaker 1: feel share, say what they're saying without neither encouragement nor discouragement,
Speaker 1: just like see what they're sharing or saying and let
Speaker 1: them just speak. So I think the listening is really cool.
Speaker 1: Not always reacting, not always sharing, not always saying something,
Speaker 1: just like being more more, more silent, more taking the space.
Speaker 1: Just Yeah, that's what I'm working on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that I can agree with you more.
Speaker 2: I think it's like it's such a rare thing actually
Speaker 2: for someone to actually just listen and not have a reaction, right,
Speaker 2: and for them to know that they can keep I
Speaker 2: feel like when you listen that way, people feel like
Speaker 2: they can actually speak from a deeper place. They're not
Speaker 2: just thinking and speaking, they're feeling and speaking because you're
Speaker 2: listening from a from a feeling space as well. Yes,
Speaker 2: and I wonder how do how do you explain fame
Speaker 2: to them or explain or do they how do they
Speaker 2: how do they interact with you? Said your big personalities
Speaker 2: but both of you have big lives, Like how did
Speaker 2: they make sense to me? Or are they still too young?
Speaker 2: And they don't?
Speaker 1: I mean they're pretty present you know, they're pretty present.
Speaker 1: I think about that often. I mean, I'm very much
Speaker 1: about I want us all in spaces that feel very
Speaker 1: very normal, Like I am very very like about that.
Speaker 1: I love to take them to their classes, and I
Speaker 1: love to drop my off at school, and I love
Speaker 1: to like we go and we go to the you know,
Speaker 1: we go hang out at the park, or we go somewhere.
Speaker 2: We do what we do.
Speaker 1: And I really love that ease. So I really want
Speaker 1: to put them in environments that feel like that. So
Speaker 1: of course, you know, at the other side, they're on
Speaker 1: the tour bus for three months and that's also different,
Speaker 1: so they I think, but I do think they have
Speaker 1: a pretty good balance about it all. And they're pretty
Speaker 1: like everyday kids, you know, And I love that about
Speaker 1: them too. I wonder how it feels or how they
Speaker 1: affect them. They're both very very empathetic. Like I know,
Speaker 1: sometimes if we're out and someone, you know, they might
Speaker 1: have caught someone and wants to take a.
Speaker 2: Picture with ma.
Speaker 1: Just take a picture of mom, you know, when it's
Speaker 1: the right time, I'm like, okay, cool. But if it's
Speaker 1: the wrong time then it's also But I'll go say hello,
Speaker 1: so happy to see you. Hope you're great. Thanks for
Speaker 1: saying hi. And it just might not be the right time.
Speaker 1: And that's okay too, So just showing them the boundaries too.
Speaker 1: And and but I think that, you know, sometimes sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll say, Genesis would be like, ma, you know in school,
Speaker 1: they're like, that's Alicia Keys. It's like so annoying. Mom,
Speaker 1: it is annoying.
Speaker 2: I feel you, that's annoying.
Speaker 1: But you could just tell him that's your mom. Like,
Speaker 1: you could just tell him, I know that's I see
Speaker 1: what you mean, but that's actually just my mom. So
Speaker 1: you can tell him that. And then and then each
Speaker 1: of them. You know, he's getting big and really strong
Speaker 1: in basketball, and he's like doing so many amazing things.
Speaker 1: He has a great instinct. And you know, really we'll
Speaker 1: walk into a room, will be me and Swiss, and
Speaker 1: if it's in the basketball universe, they'll be like, there's Egypt,
Speaker 1: Like they actually are starting to know Egypt's talent. And
Speaker 1: so it's really good and it's wonderful that he has
Speaker 1: all of his own space. And I think sometimes he
Speaker 1: might feel like that's.
Speaker 2: What I want.
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that it's not because of
Speaker 1: whatever else, you know, and so I feel for them,
Speaker 1: but I think that they're pretty cool about everything. They
Speaker 1: have a good head on their shoulders. You know, they're kind,
Speaker 1: they're loving, they're thoughtful.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
Speaker 1: I'm really proud of them, for all of them. You know,
Speaker 1: we have a beautiful, big, blended family, and I'm proud
Speaker 1: of all of them because it's like each has such
Speaker 1: a special, unique, cool personality and I'm just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, really cool.
Speaker 2: I love it. I feel like you've been able to
Speaker 2: you know, you've been in the music industry for so long.
Speaker 2: I mean I want to know how Hell's Kitchen felt
Speaker 2: like to be able to take parts of your story inspire,
Speaker 2: you know, to see your music on Broadway. I mean
Speaker 2: that feels like it was it a different challenge, Like
Speaker 2: what was what was the What was that like for
Speaker 2: you to have to go from recording in studios, making music,
Speaker 2: traveling to then doing Broadway? Like what did that look
Speaker 2: like for you? How were you creatively involved?
Speaker 1: It was definitely as you said, it's been a thirteen
Speaker 1: year process, and I think that's made it very cool,
Speaker 1: like really almost enjoyable, because whereas maybe sometimes with because
Speaker 1: it was such a passion project, I knew it wasn't
Speaker 1: all going to happen quickly or at once, and so
Speaker 1: I would be able to kind of take myself out
Speaker 1: of my quote unquote normal life and go into this
Speaker 1: workshop phase with Hell's kitchen, and I'd be able to
Speaker 1: figure out, like what, you know, what's the storylines? Me
Speaker 1: and the writer, the book writer would get to it
Speaker 1: and we'd say, here's the themes, and here's the characters,
Speaker 1: and here's the stories, and let's are to build this universe.
Speaker 1: And then when the director came in, Michael Grife, you know,
Speaker 1: he was really instrumental. He's kind of like that me
Speaker 1: and Chris Diaz, who's the book writer, are a little
Speaker 1: bit more than newbies. And then Michael Grive is like
Speaker 1: the like the parental figure. He's like, this is what
Speaker 1: we do. We do this, we do this, we do this,
Speaker 1: We're good. And sure enough we'd be like, wow, we
Speaker 1: needed that. We didn't really know where we were going.
Speaker 1: So he was like a beautiful guide in light. And
Speaker 1: then as time passed, you know, being able to connect
Speaker 1: with the public, theater, who who's the theater? Who did
Speaker 1: you know Hamilton and chorus Line and all of these
Speaker 1: incredible credible shows, even the softs they did, and you know,
Speaker 1: there's so many beautiful things that they that created another
Speaker 1: level of like clarity and just like refinement and really
Speaker 1: being able to bring it to life. So all these
Speaker 1: things kind of happen in pockets, like you know, it'll
Speaker 1: be a three week process and then we'll hold tight
Speaker 1: for It'll be a two month process, and then we'll
Speaker 1: hold tightenment, and then it'll be six months of just
Speaker 1: heavy and there will a whole tight a minute. And
Speaker 1: so it really gave me the capacity to hold the
Speaker 1: container for the story and for the meaning, and I
Speaker 1: would always be able to come back to it and say,
Speaker 1: this feels right or something's wrong about that. We have
Speaker 1: to figure that out. And then when we brought in
Speaker 1: the choreographer, she became another part of this beautiful tapestry
Speaker 1: you and she was creating movement around the songs in
Speaker 1: a way that I just never heard it before. And
Speaker 1: the orchestrator who's also been a partner to me in
Speaker 1: many ways musically, Adam Blackstone. You know, we would create
Speaker 1: different versions and instrumentals, and I wrote new songs, and
Speaker 1: so it was all these pieces and parts and you
Speaker 1: could start to feel little by little how it was
Speaker 1: all the right timing. But I feel like the biggest
Speaker 1: I want to call it a challenge. I'm looking for
Speaker 1: the right word. The biggest growth. Yeah, maybe the biggest
Speaker 1: The biggest growth or the biggest awake that I had
Speaker 1: with it was realizing that I could take this moment
Speaker 1: and I could almost take everything that I ever didn't
Speaker 1: do right and I could fix it. I could learn
Speaker 1: from it. I could take it the knowledge and I
Speaker 1: could put it into this process and I can fix it.
Speaker 1: I could do it right because I actually had the experience,
Speaker 1: and so my intellectual experience that I had gave me
Speaker 1: the ability to really look at it in a way
Speaker 1: that I had truly never had before. And then, because
Speaker 1: of that knowledge, really cultivating the strongest team of really
Speaker 1: awesome people in this particular universe to assist me as
Speaker 1: a newbie, you know, as a person who hadn't quite
Speaker 1: traversed this path yet was so inspiring and enlightening and
Speaker 1: empowering to really see that when everybody is the best
Speaker 1: at their field, you really can create something that truly
Speaker 1: is magical. And so I learned so much from it,
Speaker 1: And obviously that's been years and years and years and
Speaker 1: years and years, and even just seeing it off Broadway
Speaker 1: and having to navigate our way through how can we
Speaker 1: perfect the story? And there's still more to perfect, there's
Speaker 1: still more to craft. And doing that and being open
Speaker 1: and listening and really just being open too was tremendously rewarding.
Speaker 1: So that day when we got that announcement that we
Speaker 1: had been nominated for thirteen Tonies, it was freaky. The thirteen,
Speaker 1: the thirteen, it was just all like, something's really divine
Speaker 1: here and it was unbelievable. So it's been such a
Speaker 1: hands on I mean, I am notoriously anal but in
Speaker 1: the best most loving way, because I just I know
Speaker 1: what it's supposed to be and I'm not going to
Speaker 1: let it go until it's right what it's meant to be.
Speaker 2: Have you always been like that with all your music
Speaker 2: since day one and everything? Yeah? Yeah, it takes that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I've also learned how to like back off to like,
Speaker 1: you know what, let it let it flow, let it vibe.
Speaker 1: It's okay, you got to back off of it sometimes.
Speaker 1: But I am definitely smedge of a control freak.
Speaker 2: How have you walked me through how you've refined that perfectionism,
Speaker 2: because in one sense, the reason why you have sixteen
Speaker 2: Grammys and you know all the rest of it is
Speaker 2: because all the successes come from that level of work
Speaker 2: and ethic and effort and perfection and you know all
Speaker 2: of that like tinkering and iterations and and everything. And
Speaker 2: then where have you learned to let go or what
Speaker 2: is it that you've done to flow? At what point
Speaker 2: do you allow it to flow? If someone's listening, they're
Speaker 2: like a Leisha, I'm a perfectionist too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that you know, definitely, having the vision
Speaker 1: for what you want to create is wonderful and you
Speaker 1: likely are the only person that has that vision. If you,
Speaker 1: you know, pass that off to somebody, the vision will
Speaker 1: shift right, so which might be needed at a certain point.
Speaker 1: But I think being comfortable saying I really have this vision,
Speaker 1: I'm very clear about it, and following that is wonderful.
Speaker 1: Then I think starting to let other special not just anybody,
Speaker 1: but special folks who you realize they they're additive. You
Speaker 1: know that what you create together or what they bring
Speaker 1: to the table can enhance the vision. It is important
Speaker 1: to let that in because if you don't let it in,
Speaker 1: you're going to actually steal from the vision ultimately. So
Speaker 1: I think that has been a beautiful process when when
Speaker 1: you and when you know that feels right, you know
Speaker 1: when it doesn't feel right and it's super hard and
Speaker 1: it's like a struggle and you argue and everything. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's not the right person. You can let that go.
Speaker 1: But when you do see that things or people are
Speaker 1: becoming additive, it's really good to allow that in, allow
Speaker 1: that to come in, and then you get inspired more
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I didn't know that we could
Speaker 1: do that. Now I could take that and make it
Speaker 1: even better because we've brought that part into it. So
Speaker 1: I think that's a really special part of the creative processes.
Speaker 1: And I have learned that with even songwriting, like so
Speaker 1: fun when you start to bring additional energies into the space,
Speaker 1: not all the time, so you lose sight of your
Speaker 1: vision or of your center. So that's happened to me too.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, let me go back to the simplest
Speaker 1: because I've made this a bit complicated or you know,
Speaker 1: overly done. But I think there's something really great about that.
Speaker 1: And then you keep seeing that it's growing and it's
Speaker 1: adding and then you can still hold space for division,
Speaker 1: but allow what helps it in and what makes it
Speaker 1: grow in and what makes it better in. And I
Speaker 1: don't think you have to be worried about that. It's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've definitely developed so much more respect and appreciation,
Speaker 2: even more than I already had for artists. The closer
Speaker 2: I've got to the industry just from watching, because you
Speaker 2: forget that so many projects are truly pure passion and
Speaker 2: that they took ten, fifteen, twenty years. And when you
Speaker 2: hear about something like that, that you're saying for someone
Speaker 2: like yourself who's already successful, already has tons of accolades
Speaker 2: in an area that's directly related. But then to think
Speaker 2: you had to wait thirteen years and work for thirteen
Speaker 2: years to pull that off. You start recognizing that it
Speaker 2: takes so much patience and love, even when you have
Speaker 2: already proved yourself. Because I think, is this feeling that
Speaker 2: people can get tired of proving themselves or having to
Speaker 2: prove themselves. That's right, and it can feel exhausting sometimes,
Speaker 2: But the truth is that if you're growing and you're building,
Speaker 2: and you have something you care about, right, you're constantly
Speaker 2: having to prove yourself in a new space.
Speaker 1: Right, And I think there's there's something really exciting about
Speaker 1: that too, because I think if you could open every door,
Speaker 1: you would take it for granted. You know you I
Speaker 1: could open that door too, and I over that door,
Speaker 1: and yes, can we open every door? Yes, we actually
Speaker 1: can open every door. But is it always going to
Speaker 1: be easy or the simplest. No, it's going to take
Speaker 1: time and you're going to have to figure it out
Speaker 1: and work your way through it and come back to
Speaker 1: those places that you're like, oh, I gotta dredge up
Speaker 1: this confidence again, Like I thought I was good in
Speaker 1: this department and here it goes again. And all those
Speaker 1: learnings and challenges that kind of takes you through just
Speaker 1: being a human being is I think the beautiful part
Speaker 1: and the excitement and the thrill and the stimulus, and
Speaker 1: and then you're like, I am willing to work for this,
Speaker 1: I'm willing to put in the time for this. I'm
Speaker 1: willing to even fail. And what does that mean? What
Speaker 1: does it even mean? Actually, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1: I am willing to work and to try, and whatever
Speaker 1: comes from it is going to be what I need.
Speaker 1: It's going to be exactly what's needed. So it's it's
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. I really I really enjoy it, and I
Speaker 1: really find that I'm more grateful than ever, for sure,
Speaker 1: for being able to spread my wings and be ceilingless
Speaker 1: or be edgeless, because I really want to be able
Speaker 1: to explore as much as I can, and it feels
Speaker 1: really good to keep trying. And and but most important,
Speaker 1: I think the seed of what you said is the love.
Speaker 1: It's what do I matter? If there's some that you love,
Speaker 1: go after it because it's meant for you and might
Speaker 1: not be the way that you thought it was going
Speaker 1: to be, or the length of time you thought it
Speaker 1: was going to take, or whatever all the other things are.
Speaker 1: For man, is I know it's meant for you if
Speaker 1: you love it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, You'll get to where you want in life,
Speaker 2: just not in the way you imagined it. The timeline
Speaker 2: will be different, the way it looks will be different,
Speaker 2: the way it feels might be different. Even how you
Speaker 2: visioned it may be completely different. But you get there
Speaker 2: right and the journey will probably be better and a
Speaker 2: better story than you imagined it to be. Ever, and
Speaker 2: hearing you said that is so so fulfilling. I want
Speaker 2: to ask you one more question before we end with
Speaker 2: a final five, and this question is more just the
Speaker 2: way I've experienced you even today. I'm like, you've been
Speaker 2: in the industry for so long, since you were eighteen.
Speaker 2: You said you know so much success, moved around, done
Speaker 2: so many different things, and I feel like anytime I've
Speaker 2: been with you, your energy is always like upbeat. You've
Speaker 2: always been positive, you've always been giving, like there's always
Speaker 2: been a really nice spirit and way about you that
Speaker 2: you have. And I feel like you've never become jaded
Speaker 2: by the industry or jaded by things around you, and
Speaker 2: you see that a lot for people, and not in
Speaker 2: a judgmental way. You observe it. But it seems like
Speaker 2: you've protected and carved out your space and your like
Speaker 2: happy place and your safe space. And I was wondering,
Speaker 2: how have you done that when so many people can
Speaker 2: look at something and be like, oh, well, I don't
Speaker 2: want to you know, people be like I don't want
Speaker 2: to be too Hollywood, I don't want to do to this,
Speaker 2: I don't want to go to that. But it feels
Speaker 2: like you've been able to protect yourself regardless, you know,
Speaker 2: being in a big thing, and I wonder how you've
Speaker 2: been able to do that and how you've been able
Speaker 2: to craft that.
Speaker 1: Ah, man, this is I love this question. I think
Speaker 1: that one of the back to the gifts of what
Speaker 1: I got from my mother. You know, she was always
Speaker 1: really kind of somehow she made me think about how
Speaker 1: I made people feel. And I remember that. I remember,
Speaker 1: you know, it'd be simple things. I changed my mind
Speaker 1: about going to a birthday party, and she would be like,
Speaker 1: but how would that make you feel? And so somehow
Speaker 1: she helped me to find my empathy and I can
Speaker 1: put myself into other people's shoes, and I really appreciate
Speaker 1: that was a gift. And so I can look around
Speaker 1: me and I can feel empathy for other people, like
Speaker 1: I want to connect with people I care about that.
Speaker 1: I love bringing good I want people to bring me
Speaker 1: good energy. I don't remember bring someone else anything else
Speaker 1: but good energy. Like I care about the energy that
Speaker 1: I cultivate in a space. And I also have learned
Speaker 1: that if I can't bring that energy, then I can
Speaker 1: remove myself from that space, Like I don't have to
Speaker 1: be in a space if I'm not feeling good, you know,
Speaker 1: because I can also not feel good. I don't have
Speaker 1: to always feel good either. That part was a lesson.
Speaker 1: Took me a while to get there too, you know,
Speaker 1: But I appreciate that I want to bring that. I'm
Speaker 1: conscious of what I'm bringing into a space and into
Speaker 1: a room, and I want what I bring into a
Speaker 1: space to be something that feels good. And so I
Speaker 1: think that that's kind of that's it. I think that's
Speaker 1: really it. And so just the distinction between the two,
Speaker 1: giving myself permission to maybe not feel like I can
Speaker 1: feel that space is great and then when I can
Speaker 1: and when I'm ready, I do. And that's what I
Speaker 1: want to do. I want to bring that, and I
Speaker 1: hold other people to that. I'm like, hey, I don't
Speaker 1: bring you that energy.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to bring me that energy, you know,
Speaker 1: because my energy is precious and it's important and it's
Speaker 1: special and it's just not free. I don't just give
Speaker 1: it to those who don't deserve it. So I also
Speaker 1: had to learn the value back to one of my
Speaker 1: gaps of who I am and what my energy is
Speaker 1: and what a gift it is to be able. All
Speaker 1: of our energy is a gift, and we can kind
Speaker 1: of choose how do we want to give it? And
Speaker 1: so I love that and learning when it's when to
Speaker 1: give it and when not to give it. It's also
Speaker 1: been a part of the journey too. I think I'm
Speaker 1: doing better with that. They go to better man, a
Speaker 1: lot of undeserved people, got a lot of good Alicia energy,
Speaker 1: and it's like, man, no more of that, No more
Speaker 1: of that. Like you got to know your limits, you know, like, Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean I have to be on kind to
Speaker 1: that person, but they don't have to get my best
Speaker 1: beautiful energy. They can kind of yeah, hold tight over there.
Speaker 2: And you only realize that by giving it and knowing
Speaker 2: that you overgave or undergave right, right, And you only
Speaker 2: know that by trying it out. Like I know there
Speaker 2: are people in my life who I believe deserve way
Speaker 2: more better energy for me because they always have that
Speaker 2: for me, and right, maybe overspent in this area. And
Speaker 2: it's like looking at your bank balance at the end
Speaker 2: of the month and going where did I overspend and
Speaker 2: where did I underspend? And energy is the same thing.
Speaker 2: Where did I overspend my energy? And who did I
Speaker 2: overspend my energy with? And who did I underspend with? Fact,
Speaker 2: and let me reflect on that. I love that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: thank you, Alicia. I I've meant the first time we
Speaker 2: ever did the interview was only audios during the pandemic,
Speaker 2: and I remember, like, obviously, I mean, it's a no
Speaker 2: brainer that you have the most beautiful voice, but I
Speaker 2: remember just listening to you because we were so present,
Speaker 2: because I could just.
Speaker 1: Hear you, and it was a time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was. It was a time, exactly, it
Speaker 2: was a time. But I'm so grateful to be able
Speaker 2: to see all your expressions today and just you know,
Speaker 2: see you come to life. And we end every on
Speaker 2: purpose interview with what we call a final five. Every
Speaker 2: question has to be answered in one word to one sentence.
Speaker 1: Maximum one word to one sentence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'll probably ask you for more because I
Speaker 2: always break my own rules.
Speaker 1: All right, I'll try to be swift. I'm not get
Speaker 1: it there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's fine, Alicia Keys. These are
Speaker 2: your final five. So question number one, what is the
Speaker 2: best advice you've ever heard or received?
Speaker 1: Nothing before it's time, my grandmother, nothing before it's time.
Speaker 2: I love that one. Question number two, what is the
Speaker 2: worst advice you ever heard or received?
Speaker 1: The worst The worst advice that I ever received was
Speaker 1: that I had to kind of change myself to be accepted,
Speaker 1: or that I had to even if I felt uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: I should do a thing because it's what you know
Speaker 1: was going to be best received.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it's good to hear. I always like to
Speaker 2: make a list of all the worst advice everyone's had,
Speaker 2: because people are going to hear it again, right, and
Speaker 2: hopefully they'll remember this moment when they hear it.
Speaker 1: Good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Question number three, what was it like to perform
Speaker 2: at the Super Bowl? Oh?
Speaker 1: Man, it was crazy. It was totally insane. This is
Speaker 1: longer than a sentence.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: I found it so fascinating because it had to be built.
Speaker 1: The whole thing had to be built, and they had
Speaker 1: to time it in under three minutes. It could be built,
Speaker 1: and then we had to have our performance in the
Speaker 1: amount and it had to be and so and it
Speaker 1: was live. So it's crazy to see a live thing
Speaker 1: have to like operate in that level of like finite detail.
Speaker 2: I was like in awe.
Speaker 1: And then obviously the place and the people in the
Speaker 1: vibe and the energy and it was just like really fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, here is that your dress and the piano and
Speaker 2: it was it was crazy.
Speaker 1: It was and the underneath the dress was the world's
Speaker 1: best puppeteers, So they were actually puppeteers underneath the dress
Speaker 1: to make it fly like that. That was fantastic.
Speaker 2: How did your control freak nature deal with that? Like
Speaker 2: three minutes and like the puppeteers.
Speaker 1: You know, I just we had practiced so distinctly that
Speaker 1: I knew everything that was going to happen and it
Speaker 1: was perfect, and I just kind of, you know, control
Speaker 1: freak until you can't. And as an artist, I just
Speaker 1: at a certain point when you're when you're flowing and
Speaker 1: creating and writing and saying, you do just have to
Speaker 1: like be in the moment. So the control freak part
Speaker 1: comes when I'm designing, creating the thing, But once I'm
Speaker 1: in the thing, you have to just.
Speaker 2: Go, oh, so that's beautiful. I love that. That makes
Speaker 2: so much sense. Yeah, it's a great clarification on the
Speaker 2: earlier point two. I love that, And that completely makes
Speaker 2: sense in the architecture, the design, that's what the perfectionistics.
Speaker 1: Otherwise though, it's like magic, whatever happens, whatever happens, it's
Speaker 1: perfect for that moment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful. Question before. What's the first offering you
Speaker 2: want me to use and the first offering you want
Speaker 2: Roddy to use? And I want you to give them
Speaker 2: to you now you can share them.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right, well I want you both to
Speaker 1: wash your face, yes, but I want you to use
Speaker 1: the ora missed. It has rose, It has rose.
Speaker 2: I think we might start spraying this in the studio
Speaker 2: every time now someone comes in.
Speaker 1: And literally it just plows you instantly, and it's I'm
Speaker 1: as free as the air.
Speaker 2: That the affirmation.
Speaker 1: And you always are as free as the air. But
Speaker 1: that's just a beautiful reminder and my.
Speaker 2: Best friend, that's beautiful. These are to let me.
Speaker 1: Glow seerums, and this one, I think is the bronzeite.
Speaker 1: I give my felt self permission to grow the bronze aura.
Speaker 1: So she's going to get all three of these because
Speaker 1: she's glowing and she's so spectacularly authentic. I just adore her,
Speaker 1: So let me glow in all of the shades so
Speaker 1: that she could just like King King, Ching King King.
Speaker 1: She already glows, so we'll give that to her. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to see her.
Speaker 2: I love that. I can't wait for you to see her.
Speaker 2: As well. That's beautiful. Thank you so much. We're so excited.
Speaker 2: Thank thank you for sending so much for my team
Speaker 2: as well, everybody. We appreciate it, appreciate it so much.
Speaker 2: Fifth and final question, if you could we ask this
Speaker 2: every guest has ever been on the show, If you
Speaker 2: could create one law that everyone in the world had
Speaker 2: to what would it be.
Speaker 1: I think my law would be that you you, you
Speaker 1: cannot hurt another being. You cannot hurt them physically, you
Speaker 1: cannot hurt them emotionally, you cannot hurt them. You cannot
Speaker 1: hurt another another being. There's no reason, there's no difference,
Speaker 1: there's nothing that allows the physical or emotional or spiritual,
Speaker 1: you know, negligence or hurting of another being.
Speaker 2: And then that's a great law. It's a great law.
Speaker 2: And then we'd actually have to look at why we'd
Speaker 2: want to hurt others and where that comes from, and
Speaker 2: then actually her as well.
Speaker 1: That's that's incredible. I love that. That would be really
Speaker 1: amazing if we could look to that.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful. At least you kids, Thank thank you so much.
Speaker 2: I always happy when I'm with you. I've always enjoyed
Speaker 2: collaborating and if only I could sing.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a song, this is our song.
Speaker 2: You know. I'm so grateful and I'm so excited for
Speaker 2: people to use keys cull Care and have access to
Speaker 2: it and to transform their heart, their soul, their mind,
Speaker 2: and their body through this beautiful new offering and even
Speaker 2: the intentionality. I was looking at how everything's called an offering.
Speaker 2: There's no products. It's called rituals, not just routines. Like
Speaker 2: I love all of that to it, and I think
Speaker 2: I do believe that physical and I'll call them products
Speaker 2: just for what I'm trying to say, but I think
Speaker 2: physical products are so important to remind us of what
Speaker 2: to do internally. Yes, and we do them every day.
Speaker 1: We do call them product offering, so you can kind
Speaker 1: of like gel the ting together. But you're right, it's
Speaker 1: like the physical embodiment the embodying of the philosophy or
Speaker 1: the practice. And I love that and you live that.
Speaker 1: You guys live that. And thank you for this such
Speaker 1: such for these questions that also made me pause and
Speaker 1: think about how I wanted to share them. And I
Speaker 1: love this show. This show is so good. But you
Speaker 1: know that already because it's like a smash, so.
Speaker 2: What the world? Thank you for trusting me absolutely so much.
Speaker 2: It's interesting you too, Thank you big love, amazing. If
Speaker 2: this is the year that you're trying to get creative,
Speaker 2: you're trying to build more, I need you to listen
Speaker 2: to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break
Speaker 2: into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods
Speaker 2: that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving
Speaker 2: what you do. If you're trying to find your passion
Speaker 2: and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.
Speaker 2: Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value,
Speaker 2: like as an artist, if you like it, that's all
Speaker 2: of the value.
Speaker 1: That's the success comes when you say I like this
Speaker 1: enough for other people to see it.