WEBVTT - Unlocking Purposeful Living 0:00:04.853 --> 0:00:15.013 Comeback Stories is a production of Inflection Network and iHeartRadio. 0:00:15.973 --> 0:00:19.813 What's Up, everybody, Welcome back for another episode of Comeback Stories. 0:00:19.893 --> 0:00:23.773 I'm so pumped for today's show as I actually found 0:00:23.853 --> 0:00:27.293 today's guest on TikTok like maybe two weeks ago and 0:00:27.533 --> 0:00:30.093 was so moved by his words and his. 0:00:29.973 --> 0:00:32.293 Delivery and story speaking ability. 0:00:32.333 --> 0:00:35.213 I really always try to get close to people that 0:00:35.413 --> 0:00:38.493 have something that I want, so like, this is kind 0:00:38.493 --> 0:00:40.293 of a selfish move on my part, but I know 0:00:40.373 --> 0:00:43.413 many other people are going to benefit. And when you speak, 0:00:43.733 --> 0:00:45.933 I honestly, when I was hearing you talk, it kind 0:00:45.933 --> 0:00:49.533 of to me it sounded like a smarter version of 0:00:49.573 --> 0:00:52.893 myself talking. That's kind of like like using the same words, 0:00:52.933 --> 0:00:55.773 but just like, really, man, I really appreciate your words. 0:00:55.773 --> 0:00:59.533 So our guest today has spent the last decade traveling 0:00:59.573 --> 0:01:03.293 over eighty countries around the world, working with all kinds 0:01:03.293 --> 0:01:06.453 of people, companies, and not profit organizations. He's been teaching 0:01:06.493 --> 0:01:10.493 and leading people how to heal their heart, awaken their souls, 0:01:10.493 --> 0:01:14.973 and become the most radical and loving, truest version of themselves. 0:01:15.053 --> 0:01:16.173 So welcome to the show. 0:01:16.773 --> 0:01:20.573 B C siRNA, Wow, sir thanks for being here. Thanks man, 0:01:20.613 --> 0:01:23.493 it's those introductions are always like you know, like teeth 0:01:23.493 --> 0:01:25.373 cooling of like all right, all right, let's get to it, 0:01:25.493 --> 0:01:26.773 you know, but I appreciate that. 0:01:27.493 --> 0:01:30.213 God, let's let's let's talk about that right away, Like 0:01:30.253 --> 0:01:32.813 I would love to I mean, we're gonna maybe get 0:01:32.813 --> 0:01:34.733 to your story. Well, we'll get to it at some 0:01:34.773 --> 0:01:37.053 point if this has to be two episodes, but I 0:01:37.053 --> 0:01:40.333 would love to know right away that that that acknowledgment, 0:01:40.453 --> 0:01:44.453 that why do we struggle so much with acknowledgment? Right, 0:01:44.533 --> 0:01:48.613 Like we're we're as humans, we're bad at acknowledging, like 0:01:48.653 --> 0:01:51.813 the practice of it, both to each other and definitely 0:01:51.853 --> 0:01:54.613 to ourselves. But why do you think that is that 0:01:54.693 --> 0:01:57.573 we struggle when someone is like like cheering us on 0:01:57.733 --> 0:01:58.733 or giving us praise. 0:02:00.613 --> 0:02:02.253 Oh man, ask you a question. I mean, you guys 0:02:02.253 --> 0:02:06.053 already know you know, it's just that that h that 0:02:06.173 --> 0:02:08.733 like I guess that just like friction between like just 0:02:08.773 --> 0:02:11.533 we're normal people. We're like I'm a goofy dude who 0:02:11.613 --> 0:02:14.013 just laughs at jokes with my friends and and you know, 0:02:14.173 --> 0:02:17.253 like I've been super I guess, humbled and honored to 0:02:17.293 --> 0:02:19.133 travel the world and do what I've done. But at 0:02:19.173 --> 0:02:20.893 the end of the day when you want to I 0:02:20.933 --> 0:02:23.693 think the you know, the more you succeed in, the 0:02:23.733 --> 0:02:25.453 more accomplished in life, you just want to like be 0:02:25.933 --> 0:02:28.333 you just want to be normal and real with people. 0:02:28.533 --> 0:02:30.213 And uh so, I don't know. It just is kind 0:02:30.213 --> 0:02:33.973 of like that funny it's like the opposite of what 0:02:34.013 --> 0:02:36.573 you strive your life for. Like you strive your life 0:02:36.613 --> 0:02:39.093 to have like the front of your business card mean something, 0:02:39.693 --> 0:02:41.413 and then once you get there, you kind of just 0:02:41.453 --> 0:02:43.293 want to focus on the back of your business card, 0:02:43.373 --> 0:02:45.333 you know, like the part of the business card no 0:02:45.373 --> 0:02:49.333 one sees, like who you truly are. Wow, And uh yeah, man, 0:02:49.373 --> 0:02:51.373 So I don't know, man, you know you're saying that stuff, 0:02:51.413 --> 0:02:52.973 and it's just kind of like, ah, man, like I 0:02:52.973 --> 0:02:54.893 don't even I don't even know where to begin other 0:02:54.933 --> 0:02:57.293 than like God's good and like I've been humbled my 0:02:57.333 --> 0:03:00.013 whole life just by by like the grace of God, 0:03:00.173 --> 0:03:02.453 you know, not like in a religious way, but just 0:03:02.533 --> 0:03:06.813 like in a way of like humbledness. So it's beautiful. 0:03:06.893 --> 0:03:09.413 Yeah, I think that acknowledgment thing I think sometimes on 0:03:09.493 --> 0:03:12.253 This is sometimes an exercise I will do on my 0:03:12.373 --> 0:03:14.933 retreats often is if somebody's maybe at the end of 0:03:14.933 --> 0:03:17.493 the retreat, someone's sharing something. We would do this like 0:03:17.573 --> 0:03:21.933 thunderous applause, so they would share whatever, a ninety second 0:03:21.973 --> 0:03:24.773 story stand up in front of everybody, which is extremely 0:03:24.853 --> 0:03:27.133 vulnerable and you know, one of the scariest things for 0:03:27.213 --> 0:03:30.333 many people to do and get that thunderous applause, and 0:03:30.333 --> 0:03:32.573 they wanted to they could not get back to their 0:03:32.613 --> 0:03:35.533 seat quicker, you know, or they're crossing their arms, or 0:03:35.573 --> 0:03:39.333 they're getting completely uncomfortable because we're not used to doing it. 0:03:39.373 --> 0:03:43.213 But then there's a whole nother thing around the self worth, 0:03:43.333 --> 0:03:46.013 like are we worthy of this? Or there's the idea 0:03:46.013 --> 0:03:49.373 of like diminishing right and dimming our lights. So yeah, 0:03:49.453 --> 0:03:52.853 I love that you we just dove right into it, man, 0:03:52.853 --> 0:03:56.773 But I want to go back and tell us a 0:03:56.773 --> 0:03:59.533 little bit about your childhood and what it was like 0:03:59.653 --> 0:04:02.373 growing up for you man. 0:04:02.533 --> 0:04:04.933 I know, you guys have a dope podcast joked for 0:04:05.013 --> 0:04:08.693 like you guys' topics and conversations and obviously comeback stories 0:04:08.773 --> 0:04:12.533 and uh yeah, childhood. I mean, man, that's that's a funny. 0:04:12.693 --> 0:04:15.093 That's a funny way to start of just like, yeah, 0:04:15.213 --> 0:04:17.373 never really fit in I guess very similar, you know, 0:04:17.453 --> 0:04:20.093 I was dyslexic ADHD. I moved a lot, so I 0:04:20.173 --> 0:04:23.133 never really had friends. I never really found like a 0:04:23.173 --> 0:04:25.453 core group of dudes. I just moved all throughout the 0:04:25.493 --> 0:04:28.893 country and just feel like I felt like I missed 0:04:28.893 --> 0:04:31.293 a meeting, Like there was like a meeting on how 0:04:31.333 --> 0:04:33.853 to be a human, and I feel like I missed 0:04:33.893 --> 0:04:36.253 it in like third grade or fourth grade, and there 0:04:36.333 --> 0:04:37.893 was all these clicks of people, and I was like, 0:04:37.893 --> 0:04:40.533 did I miss something somewhere? Like why do I feel 0:04:40.613 --> 0:04:43.893 so behind and left out? And I started school young, 0:04:44.133 --> 0:04:47.333 so like I was younger than everyone too. But yeah, man, 0:04:47.373 --> 0:04:49.013 so I guess that was like the biggest part of 0:04:49.013 --> 0:04:51.493 my journey of just being like, damn, I don't feel 0:04:51.533 --> 0:04:53.333 like I fit in or I belong or I don't 0:04:53.333 --> 0:04:56.773 know what I need to wear or do. I tried skateboarding, 0:04:56.813 --> 0:04:58.493 I tried sports. I was like, what do I need 0:04:58.533 --> 0:05:00.333 to do for someone to invite me over for like 0:05:00.333 --> 0:05:03.933 a sleepover? You know what I'm saying. So, yeah, Rose, 0:05:04.053 --> 0:05:05.373 there's a lot journey. 0:05:06.053 --> 0:05:08.533 Did you have, Like can you can you trace back 0:05:08.573 --> 0:05:12.093 to an early childhood memory of pain? 0:05:14.093 --> 0:05:17.733 Oh? Yeah, man, shit, I've done a lot of inner 0:05:17.813 --> 0:05:22.253 child healing work. Man, I don't even know where to start. Uh. Yeah, man, 0:05:22.293 --> 0:05:25.093 I think I think when I was uh, when I 0:05:25.133 --> 0:05:26.693 was left out, you know, like when I was picked, 0:05:26.733 --> 0:05:28.453 when I started to be picked last and I got. 0:05:28.613 --> 0:05:30.333 I got. I was playing football when I was eleven 0:05:30.373 --> 0:05:31.893 and I got a blood clot in my brain. I 0:05:31.933 --> 0:05:34.773 got a concussion and I had to have brain surgery 0:05:34.853 --> 0:05:37.653 at eleven years old, and I almost died. And I 0:05:37.733 --> 0:05:40.853 missed like a month or so of school, and uh, 0:05:40.893 --> 0:05:43.413 I went back to school and all the kids at 0:05:43.413 --> 0:05:45.253 school made fun of my scar. I have like this 0:05:45.533 --> 0:05:48.733 massive scar on the side of my head, and so 0:05:48.813 --> 0:05:50.973 all the kids were making fun of me, and I 0:05:51.133 --> 0:05:55.493 felt like I was in I was in fourth grade 0:05:55.693 --> 0:05:57.573 or I was in fifth grade, and I remember just 0:05:57.933 --> 0:06:00.573 sitting in my desk being like, God, if you can 0:06:00.653 --> 0:06:03.333 make me invisible, like just please make me invisible, Like 0:06:03.573 --> 0:06:06.093 this is the worst I've ever failed my entire life. 0:06:06.133 --> 0:06:08.773 Like everyone looking at my scar. I had like thirty stitches. 0:06:09.093 --> 0:06:12.013 It was ugly, it was nasty, and yeah, that moment 0:06:12.133 --> 0:06:15.533 just wanting to be invisible kind of lived with a 0:06:15.613 --> 0:06:19.013 decade or so of just like that kind of tenderness, 0:06:19.053 --> 0:06:19.253 you know. 0:06:22.053 --> 0:06:26.853 Yeah, I mean our stories kind of sound identical as 0:06:26.853 --> 0:06:31.253 far as like the the source of like I feel 0:06:31.253 --> 0:06:34.013 like an alien here in this world and in these 0:06:34.093 --> 0:06:37.013 environments I'm always in. That's what I always talk about. 0:06:37.133 --> 0:06:39.413 Like the first episode we did on the podcast, Donnie 0:06:39.413 --> 0:06:41.813 interviewed me, and I said, you know, growing up for 0:06:41.893 --> 0:06:45.133 me was confusing because you know, here I am is uh, 0:06:45.653 --> 0:06:49.093 you know, this black kid with his first group of 0:06:49.093 --> 0:06:51.093 friends are white. They're in his neighborhood kind of just 0:06:51.133 --> 0:06:53.293 doing what he likes to do outside, and you know, 0:06:53.333 --> 0:06:56.013 you go to school and everything. I feel like everything 0:06:56.053 --> 0:06:59.133 I did was just like seeing through the eye of 0:06:59.133 --> 0:07:01.813 a microscope from you know, people with my skin coldors, 0:07:01.813 --> 0:07:03.093 like well, why do you do this? Why do you 0:07:03.133 --> 0:07:04.813 talk like that? Why do you listen to this music? 0:07:04.853 --> 0:07:07.333 Why do you Why are you so sensitive? Why are you? 0:07:07.693 --> 0:07:09.653 And it's just like I feel like I couldn't take 0:07:09.653 --> 0:07:14.453 a step from early elementary school without being like, okay, 0:07:14.453 --> 0:07:18.333 how do I arrange every movement, every thought, everything I 0:07:18.413 --> 0:07:22.173 do to let these people know that I'm okay or 0:07:22.213 --> 0:07:24.413 let these people know that I'm normal. 0:07:24.773 --> 0:07:27.093 And it's very exhausting. 0:07:27.093 --> 0:07:29.133 And I mean, here I am thirty one years old, 0:07:30.173 --> 0:07:33.493 still kind of dancing around that inner child work myself 0:07:33.573 --> 0:07:36.773 of really diving, like I feel like I've made some 0:07:36.813 --> 0:07:38.813 progress and acknowledged it, but as far as there's still 0:07:38.853 --> 0:07:40.733 some things that I need to go back for, like 0:07:41.333 --> 0:07:47.213 and so it's I very much relate to your early journey. 0:07:47.213 --> 0:07:49.613 That's why I'm just kind of sitting here just like, man, yeah, 0:07:49.893 --> 0:07:52.413 looking like I'm looking in the mirror thirty one. Man, 0:07:52.413 --> 0:07:53.333 it's young, Donny. 0:07:53.373 --> 0:07:53.893 How old are you? 0:07:54.893 --> 0:07:55.813 I'm forty six. 0:07:56.653 --> 0:08:01.253 Let's go. Okay, you guys got some good diversity. Yeah, 0:08:01.293 --> 0:08:01.893 that's awesome. 0:08:02.533 --> 0:08:05.333 Yeah, what's what's cool? Is your your business card? Analogy? 0:08:05.413 --> 0:08:07.613 I'm thinking about my business card and actually on the. 0:08:07.573 --> 0:08:11.053 Front of it is you know, my information, and on 0:08:11.053 --> 0:08:13.213 the back of it is a QR code for the podcast. 0:08:13.253 --> 0:08:15.293 So I guess that tells you who I am. 0:08:15.373 --> 0:08:18.533 Man. Yeah. Well, I feel like a big part of 0:08:19.093 --> 0:08:21.253 like I said, we I feel like we spend our 0:08:21.333 --> 0:08:24.133 twenties just trying to put on all these badges. We're 0:08:24.173 --> 0:08:27.013 trying to like prove ourselves. We're trying to like validate, 0:08:27.253 --> 0:08:30.573 like we're seeking validation, and then we finally turned thirty 0:08:30.853 --> 0:08:33.373 and we're just like exhausted and we're just we just 0:08:33.413 --> 0:08:36.053 like start peeling off all of these badges we've spent 0:08:36.093 --> 0:08:39.693 our entire adulthood putting on, and we start peeling off 0:08:39.733 --> 0:08:42.653 friendships that don't really serve us anymore. And I truly 0:08:42.693 --> 0:08:45.493 begin our life begins at thirty, Like I believe at 0:08:45.493 --> 0:08:51.013 thirty years old, we actually start unpeeling the layers of authenticity. 0:08:51.653 --> 0:08:54.013 And so, yeah, Darren, like I said, thirty one, man, 0:08:54.053 --> 0:08:56.773 that's I was. I was at thirty one years old. 0:08:56.773 --> 0:08:59.253 I was in the desert for two months by myself, 0:08:59.333 --> 0:09:02.933 with no cell phone, and I found found God. 0:09:02.973 --> 0:09:06.493 Bro, you know, like, tell us more, tell us the story. 0:09:06.533 --> 0:09:07.293 That's amazing. 0:09:07.893 --> 0:09:11.173 Yeah, thirty one years old, COVID happened. LA was shut down. 0:09:11.213 --> 0:09:13.613 I was living in LA for like eight years and 0:09:13.853 --> 0:09:15.733 LA was shut down. So I built out a van. 0:09:16.493 --> 0:09:18.653 And you know, like there's little vans you can live 0:09:18.653 --> 0:09:23.173 in and yeah kind of, but like a big like 0:09:23.213 --> 0:09:26.853 a sprinter one. Oh yeah, yeah yeah. So I built 0:09:26.853 --> 0:09:30.533 out a Sprinter van. One day and I left my 0:09:30.573 --> 0:09:32.333 house in LA with all my friends. I lived with 0:09:32.373 --> 0:09:35.693 all my friends like near the beach, and just drove 0:09:35.733 --> 0:09:38.453 to the desert and turned my phone off, deleted social media, 0:09:39.013 --> 0:09:41.373 and I was just like I got to figure out 0:09:41.493 --> 0:09:45.333 what I need to do to evolve to the next 0:09:45.413 --> 0:09:49.053 level of life. And it was crazy, bro, it was 0:09:49.053 --> 0:09:52.053 a wild journey, man, just two months like pretty almost 0:09:52.053 --> 0:09:55.853 by myself and just yeah, solitude. 0:09:56.773 --> 0:09:57.533 What did you learn? 0:09:58.973 --> 0:10:05.453 Shit? I learned bro, man, dude, it was the whole 0:10:05.893 --> 0:10:09.333 journey of a like ego death of dying. Like I've 0:10:09.333 --> 0:10:11.013 been on this journey for a long time and had 0:10:11.013 --> 0:10:13.173 many different ego deaths. But I think I was still 0:10:13.173 --> 0:10:16.093 getting through, like over a heartbreak from a girlfriend that 0:10:16.133 --> 0:10:17.813 I had that was in LA for a while, and 0:10:18.853 --> 0:10:21.853 I just La is so enticing, man, It's so distracting. 0:10:21.893 --> 0:10:26.093 There's fame everywhere, there's women everywhere, there's like there, It's 0:10:26.133 --> 0:10:29.813 just everything is like so enticing in La. And so 0:10:29.933 --> 0:10:33.053 I was just so distracted for like seven years and 0:10:33.093 --> 0:10:37.173 extremely grateful. But I realized whether it was women or 0:10:37.213 --> 0:10:40.453 success or anything like that, there was no amount of enough. 0:10:40.573 --> 0:10:43.173 It was just more, you know. And so I think 0:10:43.173 --> 0:10:46.533 I got so drunk on arrogance and like my like 0:10:46.573 --> 0:10:48.493 my head was just up my ass trying to figure 0:10:48.533 --> 0:10:51.733 out who I was. So when I went to the desert, 0:10:51.773 --> 0:10:53.413 all my friends thought I was crazy, Like what do 0:10:53.413 --> 0:10:56.133 you mean you have? Like your work is amazing. You know, 0:10:56.213 --> 0:10:58.093 you live on the beach with your friends, and it 0:10:58.133 --> 0:11:01.653 was just my coming to God moment. So yeah, man. 0:11:01.693 --> 0:11:03.893 And then in the desert, like I said, I found 0:11:03.933 --> 0:11:06.533 God and whole new way I didn't I knew God. 0:11:06.573 --> 0:11:08.093 And like I used to be a youth pastor for 0:11:08.093 --> 0:11:10.093 inner city kids when I was in my early twenties, 0:11:10.573 --> 0:11:12.733 so like I was like and I lived with monks. 0:11:12.773 --> 0:11:15.293 I've studied religions and beliefs all around the world and 0:11:15.373 --> 0:11:17.773 I've never I've just done a lot of when it 0:11:17.773 --> 0:11:23.453 comes to spirituality, but I never understood the actual church, 0:11:23.613 --> 0:11:28.373 in my opinion, is nature. Like nature is holds the answers. 0:11:28.413 --> 0:11:28.653 Man. 0:11:28.853 --> 0:11:33.253 I just I've like had encounters with the divine, with God, 0:11:33.293 --> 0:11:35.053 the Holy Spirit. But then I was in nature and 0:11:35.093 --> 0:11:37.133 I was like, oh, this is it. I was like, 0:11:37.253 --> 0:11:39.613 nature holds all the answers to the questions we have. 0:11:40.493 --> 0:11:43.453 And the way nature works, how slow it is, how 0:11:43.493 --> 0:11:47.773 patient it is, how it all communicates with itself. So 0:11:47.933 --> 0:11:50.773 I started leading retreats to nature. Oh yeah, you lead 0:11:50.813 --> 0:11:54.413 retreats to Sedona. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So I started 0:11:54.453 --> 0:11:56.853 bringing just groups, I like started bringing like twenty five 0:11:56.853 --> 0:11:59.053 people on a retreat through nature. After these two months, 0:11:59.053 --> 0:12:00.973 and I didn't know this, I didn't plan on making 0:12:01.013 --> 0:12:04.413 retreats after this. I literally went to nature for two 0:12:04.613 --> 0:12:07.533 months and then God was like, bring people to nature, 0:12:07.533 --> 0:12:10.133 and I started bringing people on retreats into nature and 0:12:11.213 --> 0:12:13.853 it was crazy. It was awesome. No's amazing. 0:12:14.133 --> 0:12:17.893 I get that because I've spent a decent amount of 0:12:17.893 --> 0:12:19.813 time in nature. I've been to Sedona, I've been a 0:12:19.853 --> 0:12:22.213 lot of places, but one place in particular that stuck 0:12:22.213 --> 0:12:24.613 out to me was I went to Zion National Park 0:12:25.893 --> 0:12:30.533 January of twenty twenty two, I guess, and just being 0:12:30.573 --> 0:12:32.613 in that environment and everything that you talked about, but 0:12:32.653 --> 0:12:35.893 also just this feeling of like I've never felt so small, 0:12:36.773 --> 0:12:42.493 but also like never felt like I was more in 0:12:42.573 --> 0:12:44.733 the place that I should have been at that very moment. 0:12:45.093 --> 0:12:47.973 And like you said, like the distractions of La or 0:12:48.093 --> 0:12:51.133 Las Vegas or New York, wherever you may be at 0:12:51.373 --> 0:12:54.173 aren't there. Like nature is still. It's not moving, it's 0:12:54.493 --> 0:12:58.053 stood through time. It's you know, forcing you to kind 0:12:58.053 --> 0:13:01.213 of sit there and do the same and mirror that. 0:13:01.453 --> 0:13:02.973 And it's beautiful. 0:13:02.973 --> 0:13:03.093 Man. 0:13:03.613 --> 0:13:06.493 I always look back on coore things that I value 0:13:06.493 --> 0:13:09.093 and things that kind of fill my cup and when 0:13:09.133 --> 0:13:11.013 I'm not feeling all the way there, I can look 0:13:11.053 --> 0:13:14.573 down and check that list and know that nature is 0:13:14.573 --> 0:13:19.053 probably not being stepped into as I would like to. 0:13:20.533 --> 0:13:22.133 And as soon as I get get out there and 0:13:22.133 --> 0:13:25.133 get in and I'm just like, ah, like deep, excell. 0:13:25.013 --> 0:13:27.373 You know, oh yeah, man, yeah, you guys know, you 0:13:27.373 --> 0:13:29.933 guys have to say, yeah, we led retreats to Sedona 0:13:30.013 --> 0:13:33.893 and Zion and all those places, and yeah, man, it's 0:13:33.933 --> 0:13:35.893 just like the same thing as you go, like, we're 0:13:35.933 --> 0:13:38.293 part of nature, We're part of the animal kingdom in 0:13:38.333 --> 0:13:40.373 a sense, and so like you go to a zoo 0:13:40.613 --> 0:13:43.373 and all of the animals are depressed and anxious and 0:13:43.373 --> 0:13:46.493 on drugs. All the animals look like they're miserable. And 0:13:46.573 --> 0:13:49.613 so you go to an urban jungle the city and 0:13:49.733 --> 0:13:53.413 everyone is on medications and coffee and they're they're they're 0:13:53.533 --> 0:13:57.733 they've lost the vibration, the frequency and connection to their home, 0:13:57.933 --> 0:14:01.133 you know, which is nature. And so yeah, man, it's 0:14:01.213 --> 0:14:03.693 it's so healing, it's so cathartic and therapeutic. 0:14:05.413 --> 0:14:08.613 Darren, didn't you weren't you fasting during that Zion trip 0:14:08.693 --> 0:14:09.613 or was that a different trip? 0:14:13.333 --> 0:14:15.173 I think I might have been. Yeah, that was around 0:14:15.493 --> 0:14:17.573 That was around the time that I started like implementing 0:14:17.653 --> 0:14:19.853 it into my off season, you know. And it's something 0:14:19.853 --> 0:14:25.733 that I miss because with fasting, I mean I kind 0:14:25.733 --> 0:14:28.053 of inspired from a book that I read by a 0:14:28.133 --> 0:14:31.813 Christian pastor, but the way that it was presented at 0:14:31.853 --> 0:14:33.813 the time of me trying to figure out just my 0:14:33.893 --> 0:14:36.893 relationship with lust in general and just like you know, 0:14:37.373 --> 0:14:41.493 being attracted to everything walking and like having to try 0:14:41.533 --> 0:14:45.413 to manipulate, you know, and fasting was presented as a 0:14:45.413 --> 0:14:49.253 way to strengthen my no and to yeah, you know 0:14:49.253 --> 0:14:51.693 what I'm saying, and strengthen my response when it came. 0:14:51.573 --> 0:14:52.493 To what was the book. 0:14:53.413 --> 0:14:56.253 The book is called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by 0:14:56.373 --> 0:14:58.693 John mal Comber, one of the best books I've ever read. 0:14:58.773 --> 0:15:02.853 Always recommend, recommended much times on this show. But I 0:15:02.933 --> 0:15:05.173 did it. I did it for a day the first time, 0:15:05.173 --> 0:15:08.573 and then I started doing one day a week. And 0:15:09.493 --> 0:15:11.733 those days you think like, oh, you're gonna be irritable 0:15:11.773 --> 0:15:14.573 and angry, But once you get past the stomach kind 0:15:14.573 --> 0:15:16.813 of screaming at you and get into the flow of 0:15:16.853 --> 0:15:19.413 your day, like those little trivial anxieties that you think 0:15:19.413 --> 0:15:23.853 about throughout your day are gone, and there's like this 0:15:24.293 --> 0:15:27.013 stillness and clarity that comes from it. I just really enjoyed. 0:15:27.053 --> 0:15:29.653 And I did a three day fast once too, so 0:15:29.693 --> 0:15:31.653 it's just like kind of diving into that and I 0:15:31.653 --> 0:15:34.613 want to see you know. I mean, I'm still playing ball, 0:15:34.733 --> 0:15:37.533 so I can't do it all the time, but that's 0:15:37.533 --> 0:15:39.373 something that's gonna be a part of my routine going 0:15:39.413 --> 0:15:41.253 forward because I just feel like there's such more to 0:15:41.253 --> 0:15:42.373 explore there, you know. 0:15:42.573 --> 0:15:45.973 Dude, it's the most sacred. Fasting is the reason Jesus fast, 0:15:46.013 --> 0:15:49.933 the reason Muslims fast, and Jewish people and Buddhists like 0:15:50.013 --> 0:15:53.613 the reason fasting is in every spiritual practice is because 0:15:53.653 --> 0:15:57.813 your relationship with food is a relation is your relationship 0:15:57.813 --> 0:16:00.533 to everything else in your life. So how you show 0:16:00.613 --> 0:16:03.253 up to food is how you show up to every 0:16:03.293 --> 0:16:05.693 area of your life. So if you don't have discipline 0:16:05.693 --> 0:16:07.653 with food, if you don't have consistency with food, if 0:16:07.693 --> 0:16:11.493 you don't have a good relationship with food, it just 0:16:11.773 --> 0:16:14.013 literally projected into every part of your life. Food is 0:16:14.053 --> 0:16:18.213 the most vulnerable part of our spiritual journey, and so dude, 0:16:18.253 --> 0:16:21.413 it's fast. Fasting is the UH is one of the 0:16:21.453 --> 0:16:24.493 portals bro to uh, to where you need to get 0:16:24.493 --> 0:16:27.053 to this then to get to the promised land of 0:16:27.093 --> 0:16:28.173 that man. That's powerful. 0:16:29.653 --> 0:16:33.213 I've heard, yeah, it was on it was on so 0:16:33.253 --> 0:16:35.693 many different things, bro. But he got to fasting as 0:16:35.773 --> 0:16:40.533 a practice of slowing down or something to implement into it. 0:16:40.613 --> 0:16:43.853 And but yeah, Bro, I highly highly, highly highly recommend 0:16:43.853 --> 0:16:44.173 that book. 0:16:44.293 --> 0:16:45.293 I'm gonna write that one down. 0:16:46.773 --> 0:16:49.933 I've heard you say that to our mission, our number 0:16:49.973 --> 0:16:53.533 one mission is to figure out what you need to 0:16:53.893 --> 0:17:00.173 do to be fully okay with who you are. And yeah, man, 0:17:00.373 --> 0:17:02.733 just like keep going on that one. 0:17:04.013 --> 0:17:06.573 Yeah, I mean, that's that's part of the journey man, 0:17:06.653 --> 0:17:10.373 that we're all on of Just man, why are there things? Well, 0:17:10.413 --> 0:17:11.933 I mean the question the easiest thing is why are 0:17:11.893 --> 0:17:13.893 there things we don't like about people in the world. 0:17:13.973 --> 0:17:18.413 That's easy. Everyone can list people they don't like, politicians, 0:17:18.453 --> 0:17:20.013 they don't like, things they don't like about the world. 0:17:20.053 --> 0:17:21.853 That's the easiest thing you can do. And then people 0:17:21.853 --> 0:17:23.893 can easily list the things they don't like about themselves 0:17:24.373 --> 0:17:28.653 and how those worlds are tied together. And once you start, 0:17:28.653 --> 0:17:30.533 like I said, once you start peeling back the layers, 0:17:30.773 --> 0:17:33.773 you realize everything you don't like about people or you 0:17:34.333 --> 0:17:36.693 or you judge people is just because you don't like 0:17:36.733 --> 0:17:40.453 that about yourself, and so you start to just have 0:17:40.573 --> 0:17:43.133 grace and forgiveness for yourself and you're like, oh, man, 0:17:43.173 --> 0:17:45.213 I don't like that about myself because of this, I 0:17:45.213 --> 0:17:47.613 don't like the way I look because of this, I 0:17:47.693 --> 0:17:49.773 don't like you know, And you just go down the 0:17:49.773 --> 0:17:52.253 list and then you forgive yourself and you have grace 0:17:52.293 --> 0:17:54.053 for yourself, and then you look at everyone else and 0:17:54.093 --> 0:17:57.013 you go, ah, man, I don't need to I don't 0:17:57.013 --> 0:17:59.093 need to be I don't need to make someone feel bad. 0:17:59.133 --> 0:18:00.613 I don't need to judge someone. I don't need to 0:18:00.693 --> 0:18:04.093 change someone, like like when we were young or even now, 0:18:04.133 --> 0:18:06.813 like how how offensive does it feel when someone tries 0:18:06.813 --> 0:18:10.213 to change us? Like it just it feels so like counterproductive. 0:18:10.853 --> 0:18:13.173 If someone's like, oh, you got to change, man, I 0:18:13.213 --> 0:18:14.653 don't like this about you. I don't like this about you. 0:18:14.693 --> 0:18:16.373 I'm not going to be your friend until you change. 0:18:16.733 --> 0:18:18.893 I'm just like, I mean, the only I think, the 0:18:18.893 --> 0:18:21.173 only thing that's ever changed anyone in the history is love. 0:18:21.773 --> 0:18:24.333 And if you can meet people where they're at and 0:18:24.373 --> 0:18:26.293 you can love them where they're at, they'll find the 0:18:26.413 --> 0:18:29.733 safety within themselves to be like, all right, I'm ready 0:18:29.773 --> 0:18:31.693 to change. I'm ready to give up alcohol. I'm ready 0:18:31.733 --> 0:18:34.133 to give up X, Y and Z, you know, and 0:18:34.333 --> 0:18:36.413 all of the judgment, all the shame, all the embarrassment. 0:18:36.413 --> 0:18:38.373 We try to change people. It just doesn't work. It's 0:18:38.413 --> 0:18:38.853 never worked. 0:18:38.893 --> 0:18:42.573 I don't think, Oh my god, bro, that's that's uh 0:18:42.693 --> 0:18:46.213 speaking to me right now, because I feel like I'm 0:18:46.413 --> 0:18:51.453 still a long way from feeling the best I can 0:18:51.493 --> 0:18:53.493 about myself, Like I still feel like there's a long 0:18:53.893 --> 0:18:56.573 way to go there. And one of the reasons is 0:18:56.773 --> 0:19:01.013 because I see a lot of like codependency that shows up, 0:19:01.093 --> 0:19:04.733 like whenever there's little patches in like my man or 0:19:04.733 --> 0:19:08.413 is that happen, I feel like it's because of that. 0:19:08.493 --> 0:19:11.653 And that's like I heard somebody say codependancy is like 0:19:11.693 --> 0:19:15.333 a covert attempt at control. And it's like, I always 0:19:15.453 --> 0:19:17.333 looking at myself and kind of looking around the world. 0:19:17.373 --> 0:19:20.173 It's like, why do we when it comes to issues 0:19:20.213 --> 0:19:23.533 that start and are kind of rooted internally, why do 0:19:23.573 --> 0:19:27.133 we try to control external things to make us feel 0:19:27.133 --> 0:19:29.653 better about ourselves? And I'm just kind of like that's 0:19:29.653 --> 0:19:32.413 something I'm chewing on in the mirror right now because 0:19:33.093 --> 0:19:35.013 I can get on here and say, like, bro, I 0:19:35.013 --> 0:19:36.693 still feel like I gotta do. I still feel like 0:19:36.733 --> 0:19:40.693 I got to show up and provide value in some 0:19:40.773 --> 0:19:43.653 way or otherwise. Like I'm still that kid that's still 0:19:43.653 --> 0:19:46.813 trying to figure out, like how do I just find 0:19:46.813 --> 0:19:47.893 my place out here? You know? 0:19:48.813 --> 0:19:52.813 Yeah, And that's where you know, guys like you, you 0:19:52.933 --> 0:19:55.413 just seek wisdom right from the older players, from the 0:19:55.413 --> 0:19:57.653 people who've gone down your road, and you just and 0:19:57.693 --> 0:19:59.413 you just say, what would you tell your thirty one 0:19:59.493 --> 0:20:01.533 year old self, And every single one of those old 0:20:01.573 --> 0:20:05.933 heads they're just like just rely, just like one day 0:20:05.973 --> 0:20:10.053 at a time, just be ground yourself in gratitude and 0:20:10.813 --> 0:20:13.373 don't walk over people. And all of these guys man, 0:20:13.453 --> 0:20:16.413 the wisdom and the Tom Brady's and all those guys. Man, 0:20:16.573 --> 0:20:19.453 Kobe Bryant's man. You see, like Kobe Bryant like after 0:20:19.493 --> 0:20:23.653 he retired, man became this like Buddha guru man, like 0:20:23.733 --> 0:20:27.373 saying stuff like we were all like what And he 0:20:27.493 --> 0:20:32.933 became so embodied man, and he became so like just 0:20:33.093 --> 0:20:34.853 I don't know, man. The way he was a dad, 0:20:34.973 --> 0:20:36.533 the way he was a leader, the way he was 0:20:36.573 --> 0:20:38.533 an entrepreneur. I think the whole world was just like 0:20:38.573 --> 0:20:40.613 who is this guy? And like where has he been 0:20:40.653 --> 0:20:44.493 hiding this wisdom? And all of these successful Kobe Bryant's, 0:20:44.493 --> 0:20:47.213 Tom Brady's, you know, after they leave the league, they 0:20:47.333 --> 0:20:49.293 just want to let all these young guys know, like, 0:20:50.053 --> 0:20:52.853 you know, put your feet on the ground, pray, meditate, 0:20:53.053 --> 0:20:55.173 journal one day at a time, don't get it, don't 0:20:55.173 --> 0:20:58.733 get your head full of air, you know. And so yeah, man, 0:20:58.973 --> 0:21:01.373 that's powerful. But you're aware, Bro. That's the secret to 0:21:01.413 --> 0:21:03.173 all of it, Bro, is that you're aware. So you're 0:21:03.213 --> 0:21:05.573 already ninety nine you're ahead of ninety nine percent of 0:21:05.573 --> 0:21:07.373 the other thirty one year old or men or people 0:21:07.413 --> 0:21:10.173 in the league because you're aware of what's going on. 0:21:10.933 --> 0:21:14.973 And awareness is the greatest gift you can have. Like, like, 0:21:15.213 --> 0:21:18.013 I work a lot with people in divorce and relationships 0:21:18.013 --> 0:21:21.173 and couples, and I'm always telling women, if your man 0:21:21.293 --> 0:21:25.133 is aware of his struggles and his patterns or unhealthy habits, 0:21:26.053 --> 0:21:28.333 you have to like meet him there because most men 0:21:28.373 --> 0:21:31.373 are so they're just so prideful, you know, right. 0:21:32.693 --> 0:21:34.893 You know you said it earlier about we have to 0:21:34.893 --> 0:21:38.613 meet people where they're at. And it reminds me a 0:21:38.613 --> 0:21:41.333 lot of I say this in yoga in teaching, like 0:21:41.653 --> 0:21:42.893 let the practice. 0:21:42.493 --> 0:21:45.613 Meet you where you're at today. I believe yoga is. 0:21:45.533 --> 0:21:49.333 For everybody, and everybody everybody is different and every day 0:21:49.453 --> 0:21:52.693 is different. And so to be to know where you're at, 0:21:52.733 --> 0:21:54.173 you have to be in your body, and to be 0:21:54.213 --> 0:21:56.613 in your body, you have to connect to your breath. 0:21:56.613 --> 0:21:59.613 And that's why I think, you know, especially with yoga, 0:21:59.733 --> 0:22:02.213 you know, one of the main intentions always needs to 0:22:02.253 --> 0:22:04.973 be self love, so that you're making choices in your 0:22:05.053 --> 0:22:07.933 practice that are rooted in self love, not because the 0:22:07.933 --> 0:22:10.013 person next to you is doing some crazy shit, so 0:22:10.453 --> 0:22:12.253 you know, you think you need to do it right. 0:22:12.293 --> 0:22:15.733 It's like we have to let the practice and until 0:22:15.773 --> 0:22:18.573 we can actually meet us where we're at, we're not 0:22:18.573 --> 0:22:20.533 going to be able to meet anybody else where they're at. 0:22:20.653 --> 0:22:23.333 So it like always comes back to self and it 0:22:23.333 --> 0:22:26.173 always comes back to this whole idea of like, you know, 0:22:27.293 --> 0:22:28.133 loving ourselves. 0:22:28.813 --> 0:22:32.853 Yeah, oh, yoga, dude, Yoga is the medicine the world needs. Man, 0:22:33.013 --> 0:22:35.853 it is it is between you and you in the 0:22:36.013 --> 0:22:38.813 on that mat and like you're if you try to 0:22:38.853 --> 0:22:41.373 go to yoga so you can get a workout game over, 0:22:41.493 --> 0:22:42.533 like you're already. 0:22:42.213 --> 0:22:44.853 Lost, Yeah, and exactly. 0:22:44.373 --> 0:22:46.893 And then you're in yoga and you're, yeah, comparing yourself 0:22:46.893 --> 0:22:49.133 to everyone and you're already lost, and that you and 0:22:49.173 --> 0:22:51.093 the mat and that's like, I mean, that's what most 0:22:51.133 --> 0:22:53.813 you teachers, I think, try to say, between you and 0:22:53.853 --> 0:22:57.053 the mat. But it is uh man, dude, even those 0:22:57.093 --> 0:22:59.933 yin classes where you're holding one stretch for like ten minutes, 0:23:00.173 --> 0:23:02.733 Oh man, that's Shit's medicine. 0:23:03.373 --> 0:23:06.133 I'm thinking about when I first did yoga. How when 0:23:06.173 --> 0:23:10.253 I did it, everything hurt, every posture, heard, everything move, 0:23:10.373 --> 0:23:13.013 And now for me, everything feels good. It is the 0:23:13.133 --> 0:23:16.693 ultimate medicine for me, I would say in my recovery, 0:23:16.733 --> 0:23:19.773 it is probably the most important part. You know, I 0:23:20.893 --> 0:23:24.333 came from a recovery background in twelve steps, but I 0:23:24.333 --> 0:23:26.333 believe the one thing missing in the twelve steps is 0:23:26.373 --> 0:23:29.213 the mind body connection. It's never addressed that our issues 0:23:29.253 --> 0:23:31.933 are in our tissues and that the body remembers everything. 0:23:31.973 --> 0:23:34.693 And it's the twelve steps is so valuable and there's 0:23:34.733 --> 0:23:40.013 so much freedom in those steps. But that's that shit 0:23:40.173 --> 0:23:42.133 is in our body still, and so how do we 0:23:42.173 --> 0:23:44.333 move it? We are how do we Yeah, we move 0:23:44.413 --> 0:23:45.613 it right? We move energy. 0:23:45.693 --> 0:23:48.333 We have to move move mindfully and breathe mindfully. 0:23:49.373 --> 0:23:51.573 I mean, yeah, we listened, dude, We listened to the body. 0:23:51.613 --> 0:23:53.053 And I think a lot of what I talk a 0:23:53.053 --> 0:23:55.973 lot about my trauma work is so many people think 0:23:56.053 --> 0:23:59.693 the brain is in control and the brain is the conductor, 0:24:00.173 --> 0:24:02.493 when in reality, what science has shown us is that 0:24:02.653 --> 0:24:05.653 eighty percent of all the information is our body sending 0:24:05.653 --> 0:24:09.413 information to our brain, and twenty percent is our brain 0:24:09.493 --> 0:24:11.813 sending it to our body. And so when you think 0:24:11.853 --> 0:24:15.053 about we spend eighty percent thinking our brain is controlling everything. 0:24:15.133 --> 0:24:16.933 That's why we don't wake up feel and motivated. That's 0:24:16.933 --> 0:24:19.053 why we feel insecure. We don't like you know, that's 0:24:19.053 --> 0:24:21.333 why we're negative because we think this is in control. 0:24:21.653 --> 0:24:24.373 But when you sit there and you breathe and you 0:24:24.373 --> 0:24:27.933 pray and you meditate and do yoga, your body actually 0:24:27.973 --> 0:24:30.413 is like freaking out and there's a trauma right here. 0:24:30.453 --> 0:24:33.053 And so the biggest thing about trauma is you cannot 0:24:33.253 --> 0:24:36.293 think your way out of pain. Right So you actually, 0:24:36.373 --> 0:24:37.493 what I always say, and I'm sure a lot of 0:24:37.493 --> 0:24:38.973 people say it is you have to feel it to 0:24:39.013 --> 0:24:43.333 heal it. And so, you know, just being able to 0:24:43.853 --> 0:24:47.093 go back to that little boy Darren, that you were, 0:24:47.213 --> 0:24:48.933 you know, when you were a kid, and sit with 0:24:49.093 --> 0:24:52.773 him and listen to him and be guided by like 0:24:53.453 --> 0:24:56.853 just him being seen, him being like not feeling like 0:24:56.893 --> 0:25:01.733 an outcast, you know. And yeah, man, it's it's wild. 0:25:03.893 --> 0:25:06.373 Why do you think we close our eyes when we 0:25:06.453 --> 0:25:07.373 meditate and pray? 0:25:09.013 --> 0:25:11.173 Oh? Man, I think I think our eyes are the 0:25:11.173 --> 0:25:15.453 biggest distraction to the spiritual realm. I think I think 0:25:15.493 --> 0:25:20.133 our eyes separate us. It's our eyes are constantly judging 0:25:20.133 --> 0:25:23.093 people right the skin color, their height, their age, their look. 0:25:23.493 --> 0:25:25.373 But if you ever if you've ever done this thing, 0:25:25.373 --> 0:25:27.413 there's this kind of trend happening. I don't know how 0:25:27.453 --> 0:25:29.413 big of a trend is, but there's dinners you can 0:25:29.453 --> 0:25:32.013 go on where you're blind the entire dinner and there's 0:25:32.053 --> 0:25:34.893 like twenty five people in a room. And so before 0:25:34.933 --> 0:25:37.053 you go into the room, you get blindfolded and it's 0:25:37.053 --> 0:25:40.573 pitch black dark, and you have dinner with like thirty people, 0:25:40.613 --> 0:25:42.253 and you talk to people, and you meet people and 0:25:42.253 --> 0:25:44.813 you have no idea what they look like. And it's 0:25:44.813 --> 0:25:49.533 the most liberating experience you'll ever have because you were 0:25:49.613 --> 0:25:53.653 connecting to their essence and to their voice and to 0:25:54.213 --> 0:25:57.453 the experience much more than your eyes distracting you from 0:25:57.493 --> 0:26:00.053 the pimple on their face or their hair or what 0:26:00.133 --> 0:26:03.293 they could do for you, or if they're attractive. And 0:26:03.373 --> 0:26:05.373 so our eyes and hit with us from looking into 0:26:05.373 --> 0:26:09.093 the spiritual realm. And so it's very sacred to to 0:26:09.093 --> 0:26:13.013 to practice praying and meditating and and flowing with your 0:26:13.013 --> 0:26:16.573 eyes closed. Man, It's it's divine. Even when I don't 0:26:16.573 --> 0:26:18.253 know if you guys have done plant medicines at all, 0:26:18.693 --> 0:26:22.493 but even there's even there's there's times when you're on 0:26:22.533 --> 0:26:25.453 plant medicines and you're you know, it's like daylight out, 0:26:25.493 --> 0:26:27.653 it's like gorgeous out, and your like eyes are closed 0:26:27.693 --> 0:26:30.573 and you literally could sit there for like two hours 0:26:30.613 --> 0:26:33.013 without open your eyes and just be in the most 0:26:33.293 --> 0:26:36.693 magical place you can imagine. And I think that is 0:26:36.773 --> 0:26:41.413 just like the essence of of what, yeah, of just 0:26:41.493 --> 0:26:44.893 what it remembers to disconnect from the distractions. 0:26:44.933 --> 0:26:47.853 You know, did your two months in the desert with 0:26:47.933 --> 0:26:51.653 the ego deaths that involve plant medicine or was that 0:26:51.733 --> 0:26:52.493 a different one? 0:26:53.133 --> 0:26:55.253 No, No, that there was a little bit of plant 0:26:55.253 --> 0:27:00.533 medicine in in those ego deaths. Yeah, yeah, for sure. 0:27:00.413 --> 0:27:01.013 Powerful stuff. 0:27:01.093 --> 0:27:03.453 Darren and I have talked about it, and we when 0:27:03.493 --> 0:27:06.373 we started this journey, we were two guys that had 0:27:06.413 --> 0:27:10.213 been sober and not put any substance, if you will, 0:27:10.373 --> 0:27:13.693 in our systems, and through this process have just found 0:27:13.693 --> 0:27:18.093 some like had some pretty magical experiences. And yeah, we've 0:27:18.093 --> 0:27:20.093 talked about it. We've had our guest, a guest, Don 0:27:20.093 --> 0:27:22.373 bergeron on our show shout out. 0:27:22.253 --> 0:27:25.653 To Don and he and he talked about it. 0:27:25.973 --> 0:27:27.853 I had done it, and you know, it's one of 0:27:27.853 --> 0:27:32.293 those This was Buffo the five O DMT, and it 0:27:32.413 --> 0:27:34.533 was just such a profound experience. And I was doing 0:27:34.533 --> 0:27:36.653 my best not to should all over Darren and like 0:27:36.973 --> 0:27:39.293 telling me, should he should go do this right, because 0:27:39.293 --> 0:27:42.453 it's like so profound and and here's my thing with it, 0:27:42.533 --> 0:27:45.333 my experience for those that hadn't heard the story, is 0:27:45.733 --> 0:27:48.413 my intention in doing it was to get closer to God, 0:27:48.493 --> 0:27:51.373 to have a deeper spiritual connection, because I felt like 0:27:51.413 --> 0:27:54.933 I was talking the talk but not really like having 0:27:54.973 --> 0:27:58.733 a like praying, praying and having an actual meaningful conversation 0:27:59.373 --> 0:28:01.093 to establish a meaningful relationship. 0:28:01.093 --> 0:28:02.013 So that was my intention. 0:28:02.133 --> 0:28:05.973 And as I went in through the journey, I basically 0:28:06.093 --> 0:28:09.093 sat in the presence of God. I didn't see a face, 0:28:09.133 --> 0:28:12.093 but I felt it and I just started saying I'm safe, 0:28:12.253 --> 0:28:15.453 I'm safe out loud, and it made me realize my 0:28:15.493 --> 0:28:18.293 whole life like I felt safe because. 0:28:18.053 --> 0:28:21.133 I was like I was there, like I'm good, like 0:28:21.173 --> 0:28:23.533 I know where I'm going after, like it's all good 0:28:24.093 --> 0:28:26.613 and so feeling so held and safe, it made me 0:28:26.693 --> 0:28:29.213 realize everything I've done, caring what other people think and. 0:28:29.293 --> 0:28:33.733 Validation was all for safety. So this idea of safety, 0:28:33.773 --> 0:28:35.653 and it opened up my eyes to women and how 0:28:35.653 --> 0:28:38.093 they can you know, they walk out to their car 0:28:38.133 --> 0:28:40.413 at ten at PM and they don't feel safe. 0:28:40.453 --> 0:28:41.693 We don't even think about that. 0:28:42.573 --> 0:28:45.053 So that was like so profound for me, Like that 0:28:45.333 --> 0:28:48.973 was the experience for me, and it basically told me 0:28:49.093 --> 0:28:53.773 that everything's gonna be okay and I'm enough, like it's fine, 0:28:53.813 --> 0:28:56.733 so you can't unsee that. So that was my experience. 0:28:56.733 --> 0:28:58.093 For those that hadn't heard. 0:28:58.013 --> 0:29:03.453 It, Amen, man, Yeah, like most of us, most of 0:29:03.453 --> 0:29:06.893 our addictions, all of them, I would say, come from 0:29:06.973 --> 0:29:10.613 wanting to numb our mind right or numb our emotions even, 0:29:10.853 --> 0:29:13.253 and so a lot of us are in fight or flight. 0:29:13.333 --> 0:29:16.653 So we're traumatized as kids, and there's moments where like 0:29:16.693 --> 0:29:18.853 our parents are yelling, or we're in a car accident, 0:29:18.973 --> 0:29:20.773 or we're picked on at school, and then we just 0:29:20.853 --> 0:29:24.413 live our entire life unaligned from our nervous system. And 0:29:24.453 --> 0:29:27.813 so when we discovered cannabis or alcohol or pornography, we 0:29:27.933 --> 0:29:31.053 just fucking eat that shit up because it's it's letting us, 0:29:31.573 --> 0:29:36.413 it's letting us numb the insecurities and the emotions, and 0:29:36.493 --> 0:29:39.053 so we go as far as we can down that 0:29:39.733 --> 0:29:42.813 rabbit hole. And then one day we're fucking exhausted and 0:29:42.813 --> 0:29:45.053 we're like, Okay, well, I'm so numb that I can't 0:29:45.053 --> 0:29:47.533 even feel the positive sides of life. I can't actually 0:29:47.613 --> 0:29:51.493 feel joy or love or freedom because I've been my 0:29:51.533 --> 0:29:54.013 nervous system's been on the line for so long. And 0:29:54.053 --> 0:29:56.853 that's a lot of times where people start doing the work, 0:29:56.893 --> 0:30:02.173 start asking the questions, start feeling the emotions, and plant medicines. 0:30:02.773 --> 0:30:04.653 Like you said, it helps you feel safe, because your 0:30:04.653 --> 0:30:07.373 nervous system can't heal. You can't heal trauma unless you 0:30:07.493 --> 0:30:11.453 first feel safe inside your body. So once this little 0:30:11.493 --> 0:30:14.613 boy inside of you feels safe, because he's a little 0:30:14.613 --> 0:30:17.053 five year old boy, right, so he's fucking terrified. That's 0:30:17.093 --> 0:30:20.373 the reason he's numbing himself and surrounding himself with muscles 0:30:20.373 --> 0:30:23.373 and money and sex and fucking everything else, and so 0:30:24.173 --> 0:30:26.893 he's terrified. So then the boy feels safe to come 0:30:26.933 --> 0:30:30.893 out of that like fucking you know, dark closet and 0:30:31.093 --> 0:30:34.333 just be like okay, it's safe. And then your soul 0:30:34.413 --> 0:30:36.693 is like, yeah, you can come out. And then the 0:30:36.293 --> 0:30:39.013 boys like, am I allowed to cry? And it's like, yeah, 0:30:39.013 --> 0:30:40.893 you can cry. You can cry five year old dren 0:30:40.933 --> 0:30:43.413 you know or whatever that is, you know. And then 0:30:43.693 --> 0:30:46.093 am I allowed to dance? Yeah? You can dance? Am 0:30:46.093 --> 0:30:48.493 I allowed to like be myself? Can I be Goofy? Yeah? 0:30:48.533 --> 0:30:50.613 You could be Goofy. You could play if you want. 0:30:51.013 --> 0:30:53.853 And this five year old, the first time in almost 0:30:53.853 --> 0:30:56.693 his entire life, once into unless you you know, before 0:30:56.693 --> 0:30:59.293 he was a kid, can play again and can laugh 0:30:59.373 --> 0:31:04.773 and can dance and can be goofy. And uh, that's 0:31:04.813 --> 0:31:07.053 like the journey back home. That's that's what the journey is. 0:31:09.773 --> 0:31:15.213 I'm curious what you would say to somebody that maybe 0:31:15.533 --> 0:31:18.053 is because this was me actually, so I'm curious what 0:31:18.093 --> 0:31:22.173 you would say somebody maybe in sobriety that that is 0:31:22.333 --> 0:31:27.053 like never experienced plant medicine and as actually like questioning 0:31:27.493 --> 0:31:32.493 maybe Darren and I sobriety for experience going through this process, 0:31:32.573 --> 0:31:33.453 this healing journey. 0:31:33.493 --> 0:31:36.013 What would you say to those people. 0:31:37.013 --> 0:31:38.533 Man, same thing I would say to a lot of 0:31:38.533 --> 0:31:41.973 these Christians, man. A lot of Christians are or religious 0:31:42.013 --> 0:31:45.773 people or spirit or conservatives. They are just they think 0:31:45.773 --> 0:31:48.093 it's a drug. That's what they've been told. That's what 0:31:48.133 --> 0:31:51.813 it's been labeled. They think plant medicines. That's the that's 0:31:51.813 --> 0:31:55.213 the narrative culture has portrayed. And I thought that for 0:31:55.333 --> 0:31:57.813 my whole life too. I didn't try any drugs pretty 0:31:57.853 --> 0:32:00.413 much until I was thirty years old, and the you know, 0:32:00.893 --> 0:32:04.893 mushrooms and during COVID and uh, because I know I 0:32:04.893 --> 0:32:08.693 have an addictive personality and so I knew whatever I 0:32:08.773 --> 0:32:12.533 danced with I'd be all in. And so so yeah, 0:32:12.573 --> 0:32:15.933 I was about thirty years old. COVID happened March twenty twenty. 0:32:15.973 --> 0:32:17.573 I went into the desert with my friends. Same thing. 0:32:17.613 --> 0:32:18.733 I was like, all right, this is either going to 0:32:18.773 --> 0:32:20.893 get me closer to God or not, and I'll never 0:32:20.933 --> 0:32:22.453 have to do it again if it doesn't, and if 0:32:22.493 --> 0:32:25.933 it does, then that's dope. And it got me the 0:32:25.973 --> 0:32:30.413 closest to God I've ever felt, And I mean you 0:32:30.413 --> 0:32:31.853 can get close, you can get pretty, you can get 0:32:31.853 --> 0:32:34.093 extremely close to God without it, for sure, but there's 0:32:34.253 --> 0:32:39.653 another level of your mind finally detaching from your soul, 0:32:40.373 --> 0:32:43.773 and you're in the present moment. Time doesn't exist right 0:32:43.813 --> 0:32:46.613 when you're on the plant medicine, and so you literally 0:32:46.653 --> 0:32:49.373 sit in the presence. I got satin rivers. Man just 0:32:49.773 --> 0:32:52.133 butt naked in a river with Jesus, and I'm like, 0:32:52.173 --> 0:32:55.093 sitting in this river. It's like full moon dark and 0:32:55.333 --> 0:32:57.333 me and Jesus are talking for like two hours. But 0:32:57.413 --> 0:32:59.733 time doesn't exist, and so two hours in a river 0:33:00.173 --> 0:33:03.693 seems crazy to someone. But I'm just you're separated from 0:33:03.693 --> 0:33:07.133 time for the first time I'm maybe in your life. 0:33:07.653 --> 0:33:10.133 So yeah, plant medicines. I think the bad rep is 0:33:10.293 --> 0:33:15.733 a bad trip, which bad trips don't actually exist. The 0:33:15.773 --> 0:33:18.293 only time someone would have a bad trip is if 0:33:18.413 --> 0:33:21.733 they are suppressing whatever is supposed to come up. And 0:33:21.813 --> 0:33:23.933 so basically, if you're at a if you're at a party, 0:33:23.973 --> 0:33:26.973 if you're at a concert and there's intense people around, 0:33:27.093 --> 0:33:29.733 or you're at a Halloween party and you're on a 0:33:29.773 --> 0:33:31.933 medicine like that, of course you're going to have a 0:33:31.933 --> 0:33:35.133 bad trip because you don't know the energy that's around you. 0:33:35.133 --> 0:33:37.253 You don't know, like can you imagine at a concert 0:33:37.293 --> 0:33:40.333 and you're trying to forgive your dad and you're just like, wait, Dad, 0:33:40.333 --> 0:33:42.373 I don't want to forgive you right now, like I'm 0:33:42.373 --> 0:33:44.413 trying to dance. And so that is what a bad 0:33:44.453 --> 0:33:48.773 trip is. It's you trying to suppress and control the 0:33:48.813 --> 0:33:52.053 emotion that needs to come up. And so I would 0:33:52.133 --> 0:33:55.733 just say to people, be open hearted, open minded that 0:33:55.813 --> 0:33:58.613 this medicine is the cleanest medicine that there is in 0:33:58.653 --> 0:34:01.653 the world, like most pharmaceuticals. Obviously we know that route 0:34:02.293 --> 0:34:07.133 and other dm teas, and you know, there's the mbma's, 0:34:07.173 --> 0:34:09.173 the ketamines. There's so many therapies out there that have 0:34:09.253 --> 0:34:13.493 now been proven in science. But I would say people 0:34:13.813 --> 0:34:17.453 open I mean, nowadays there's documentaries on Netflix and Amazon. 0:34:17.493 --> 0:34:20.013 You could watch millions of films on like how incredible 0:34:20.053 --> 0:34:25.973 mushrooms are and MDMA and psilocybin, all that stuff. 0:34:28.453 --> 0:34:32.453 I've heard you also say how our reality is created 0:34:32.493 --> 0:34:36.573 in two different things. It's attention and intention. So you know, 0:34:36.613 --> 0:34:39.773 it's always our awareness. You talked about this earlier. Awareness 0:34:39.853 --> 0:34:42.093 is the first step in creating any kind of change. 0:34:42.293 --> 0:34:43.853 It's important to have awareness. 0:34:43.893 --> 0:34:44.653 It's also. 0:34:46.253 --> 0:34:48.853 Not it's hard work when you're aware too, when you 0:34:48.893 --> 0:34:51.693 wake up to things like not everything's easy to do 0:34:51.893 --> 0:34:55.493 because too much that's given comes great responsibility. There's like 0:34:55.533 --> 0:34:58.533 a knowing. I'm very confident that us three have probably 0:34:58.893 --> 0:35:02.253 been called like to do the work, whatever that work 0:35:02.333 --> 0:35:05.813 is in our families, right to break to cycles. And 0:35:05.893 --> 0:35:08.733 I think that's why we're here. But for you, you know, 0:35:08.573 --> 0:35:12.253 you said, like your awareness about what's going on around 0:35:12.333 --> 0:35:15.693 you and then your intention to actually do something about it. 0:35:16.173 --> 0:35:18.693 That was like fire. So can you elaborate on that? 0:35:20.053 --> 0:35:21.973 Yeah? Man, I just for me, I just try to 0:35:22.013 --> 0:35:25.293 simplify this world and this perspective for people. I think 0:35:25.333 --> 0:35:28.333 we get so caught up in big words and books 0:35:28.493 --> 0:35:31.333 and there's so much to Like we think that the 0:35:31.413 --> 0:35:37.853 cerebral way is the way to enlightenment or I don't know, 0:35:37.893 --> 0:35:41.253 like some sort of like we're the smarter you are. 0:35:41.333 --> 0:35:44.053 We like like we we idolize Albert Einstein, right, Like 0:35:44.133 --> 0:35:47.613 we're like Albert Einstein the smartest man alive. Like we 0:35:47.853 --> 0:35:52.293 idolize these brilliant minds when reality, the people we actually 0:35:52.373 --> 0:35:56.653 idolize are embodied people the Jesus, the mlk's the gandhis 0:35:56.733 --> 0:36:02.053 people who actually didn't need to be like, didn't need 0:36:02.053 --> 0:36:06.493 to flaunt, you know, in certain ways. And so yeah, 0:36:06.533 --> 0:36:08.253 I just try to I just try to simplify things. 0:36:08.253 --> 0:36:10.573 So when I say, like, your reality is two things, 0:36:10.613 --> 0:36:14.733 your awareness and your your intention and your attention and 0:36:14.853 --> 0:36:17.533 basically your attention to and so that way you don't 0:36:17.573 --> 0:36:20.493 judge people. So your attention to what's going on and 0:36:20.533 --> 0:36:22.573 your intention to do something about it. So like what 0:36:22.613 --> 0:36:24.413 I always use as the reference is you're in high 0:36:24.453 --> 0:36:26.973 school and you're hanging out with your friends and one 0:36:27.013 --> 0:36:29.573 day you see a kid eating alone. That's your attention. 0:36:29.733 --> 0:36:32.493 So you're like, oh, that kid's eating alone, all right, well, 0:36:32.493 --> 0:36:34.293 and then you're gonna keep eating. And then one day 0:36:34.333 --> 0:36:36.453 you go, damn, that kid's eating alone. I guess I 0:36:36.453 --> 0:36:38.533 could invite him over here. I can go eat with him. 0:36:38.933 --> 0:36:41.773 That's your intention. And then that is where you find 0:36:41.813 --> 0:36:45.933 your purpose. Your purpose isn't you embody your purpose? And 0:36:46.013 --> 0:36:48.893 so your attention, oh that car is broken down, Well, 0:36:48.893 --> 0:36:50.573 I got an hour to kill. I could probably pull 0:36:50.573 --> 0:36:52.333 over and help that car. That is where you find 0:36:52.373 --> 0:36:56.133 your purpose. Your purpose isn't some sort of grandiose thing. 0:36:56.293 --> 0:37:00.613 It's actually just you embodying a person that's attention and intentional, 0:37:01.133 --> 0:37:04.973 and that's the formula of purpose and everyone's to seek 0:37:05.013 --> 0:37:06.933 their purpose of Like, am I supposed to change the world? 0:37:07.013 --> 0:37:10.213 And it's like, no, You're supposed to serve the people 0:37:10.293 --> 0:37:12.293 in front of you, whoever it is, if it's the 0:37:12.653 --> 0:37:16.693 person that coffee station or the gas station, the coffee shop, 0:37:17.413 --> 0:37:21.573 You're just supposed to embody a presence of love and action, 0:37:21.773 --> 0:37:21.973 you know. 0:37:23.493 --> 0:37:26.813 Yeah, I mean it makes perfect sense. There's I felt 0:37:26.853 --> 0:37:31.333 there's really no true fulfilling life without purpose. And I 0:37:31.333 --> 0:37:34.173 mean I feel like just with comeback stories like Donnie 0:37:34.173 --> 0:37:38.693 and I, a story that there was no purpose realized 0:37:38.973 --> 0:37:43.133 or stepped into without some level of pain, like things 0:37:43.173 --> 0:37:48.493 along the way that had us in a place of brokenness, 0:37:48.533 --> 0:37:51.173 hopelessness figuring out just like what is going on? Like 0:37:51.173 --> 0:37:53.893 there's got to be more than this. And I see 0:37:53.893 --> 0:37:57.693 I've seen you talk about like twenty thirteen was a 0:37:57.773 --> 0:38:00.373 tough year for you. Could you describe to the people 0:38:00.373 --> 0:38:02.373 that are listening why that why it was tough and 0:38:02.653 --> 0:38:05.053 maybe just the experience that you gained from that year 0:38:05.533 --> 0:38:05.773 for me? 0:38:06.733 --> 0:38:09.173 Yes, Oh okay, I thought you were talking about Donnie. 0:38:09.173 --> 0:38:11.413 I didn't know you knew about my twenty thirteen you're 0:38:11.413 --> 0:38:14.373 talking to me, Yes, I'm talking about about my dad 0:38:14.413 --> 0:38:17.813 passing away. Yeah, oh wow, Okay, I mean I didn't 0:38:17.853 --> 0:38:22.173 know you guys. I didn't know you guys knew that. Yeah. 0:38:22.413 --> 0:38:28.493 Uh yeah man? How yeah you said it. Your pain 0:38:28.733 --> 0:38:31.653 is your purpose. If anyone's searching for what their purpose 0:38:31.733 --> 0:38:33.613 is in life, you just have to go to what 0:38:33.773 --> 0:38:36.733 hurts your heart the most. And because I didn't fit 0:38:36.813 --> 0:38:38.973 in most of my life, because I never felt like 0:38:39.013 --> 0:38:41.813 I belonged, I've spent the second half of my life 0:38:41.853 --> 0:38:44.133 making sure no one ever has to feel like they 0:38:44.133 --> 0:38:45.733 don't fit in. So I used to throw events in 0:38:45.893 --> 0:38:48.293 La and I remember I used to announce on the 0:38:48.333 --> 0:38:50.453 events like no cool people allowed. Like I was like, yo, 0:38:50.493 --> 0:38:52.373 if you're too cool, don't come, you know. I was like, 0:38:52.773 --> 0:38:55.093 I was like, yo, I want to make sure when 0:38:55.093 --> 0:38:57.853 I host an event, I want to make sure everyone 0:38:57.973 --> 0:39:01.453 feels fully seen and celebrated and heard. Because I've been 0:39:01.453 --> 0:39:03.293 to a million events where I feel invisible and I 0:39:03.333 --> 0:39:04.853 feel like I want to just go home, you know. 0:39:05.493 --> 0:39:08.053 And so that's my pain, man, And then my pain 0:39:08.133 --> 0:39:11.733 of losing my dad, and you know, turning that into 0:39:11.773 --> 0:39:14.053 my purpose. Man. Like I said, after I lost my dad, 0:39:14.093 --> 0:39:18.253 I started mentoring inner city kids in Denver, and I 0:39:18.293 --> 0:39:20.813 would say eighty ninety percent of all my kids that 0:39:20.853 --> 0:39:24.093 I mentored for six years never had dads. And so 0:39:24.413 --> 0:39:26.973 I like became a brother figure or even like a 0:39:27.013 --> 0:39:28.773 father figured to a lot of my high school kids 0:39:29.813 --> 0:39:32.413 and ended up getting my inner city kids passports, took 0:39:32.413 --> 0:39:35.493 them around the world, like, got them cameras. Like it's 0:39:35.533 --> 0:39:37.733 like they're like my They're like my little brothers for life. 0:39:37.893 --> 0:39:40.133 It's been a decade now I just got the phone 0:39:40.133 --> 0:39:43.253 with one of them. But uh but yeah, man, so 0:39:43.373 --> 0:39:45.173 you just you got to figure out what breaks your 0:39:45.173 --> 0:39:48.093 heart more than anything. And and you don't need to 0:39:48.133 --> 0:39:49.773 judge people. You don't need to shame people like I 0:39:49.773 --> 0:39:52.053 don't need to convince people like if your if your 0:39:52.093 --> 0:39:56.853 passion is climate change or saving the animals, or helping 0:39:56.853 --> 0:39:59.493 inner city kids, or helping homeless people or helping kids 0:39:59.493 --> 0:40:02.133 in Africa get an education, you just got to choose 0:40:02.173 --> 0:40:04.973 one or choose something, and then you just have to 0:40:05.013 --> 0:40:06.613 stay in your lane. I'm not going to try to 0:40:06.653 --> 0:40:09.733 convince you to care more about homeless people than kids 0:40:09.733 --> 0:40:11.573 in Africa. You know what I'm saying, It's not a competition. 0:40:12.933 --> 0:40:14.573 And I think a lot of people are trying to 0:40:15.293 --> 0:40:18.173 force people to care just as much as they care, 0:40:18.933 --> 0:40:22.973 and I think that negates the whole purpose of purpose, 0:40:23.053 --> 0:40:26.333 right that we need to stay in our lane and 0:40:26.373 --> 0:40:30.213 we need to we all need each other. And yeah, man, 0:40:30.253 --> 0:40:32.493 so my whole, my whole movement, and like my kind 0:40:32.493 --> 0:40:37.173 of my programs called pursuing purpose because we have the 0:40:37.253 --> 0:40:41.173 idea of pursuit of happiness in America. And I realized 0:40:41.373 --> 0:40:44.933 when people are pursuing purpose, all of the knobs that 0:40:44.973 --> 0:40:48.493 are like depression, anxiety, all these things that are like 0:40:48.653 --> 0:40:51.293 struggling with all of your knobs get turned down when 0:40:51.293 --> 0:40:53.933 you're in alignment with your purpose because it's not about you. 0:40:54.693 --> 0:40:56.493 And so you're just kind of like, oh man, this 0:40:56.533 --> 0:40:59.333 life isn't even about me. I'm so stressed and anxious 0:40:59.333 --> 0:41:01.853 and overwhelmed and depressed about me. But then you go 0:41:01.973 --> 0:41:03.813 help someone and you're like, man, I don't even care 0:41:03.853 --> 0:41:05.813 what I look like right now. I'm just like helping 0:41:05.853 --> 0:41:08.373 someone that doesn't have a meal to eat tonight. I'm 0:41:08.413 --> 0:41:10.453 helping a kid in Africa that just wants to learn 0:41:10.533 --> 0:41:13.973 how to read. I'm helping plant trees for the better 0:41:14.013 --> 0:41:16.053 world for tomorrow. And it's like you don't even care 0:41:16.093 --> 0:41:17.653 what you look like. You don't even care why much 0:41:17.653 --> 0:41:19.853 money's in your bank account, you don't care how many 0:41:19.893 --> 0:41:22.693 followers you have. When you're in alignment with your purpose, 0:41:23.533 --> 0:41:27.573 everything of your worries disappears. 0:41:27.613 --> 0:41:31.533 So well said, I've always talked about how purpose is. 0:41:31.653 --> 0:41:35.573 Your purpose isn't static, it's dynamic, right, It's fluid. It's 0:41:35.613 --> 0:41:40.213 not like we declare this purpose statement. So I always said, 0:41:40.253 --> 0:41:43.133 like that word discover, right, discover is to take the 0:41:43.173 --> 0:41:47.253 cover off, to discover. Your purpose is what's been in 0:41:47.293 --> 0:41:49.813 there all along. It's not something outside of us, right, 0:41:49.893 --> 0:41:52.453 It's like everything we'll ever need is already inside of us. 0:41:52.453 --> 0:41:54.653 And I've heard you say it in the beginning. It's 0:41:54.653 --> 0:41:57.093 like we don't need more, we need less. And so 0:41:57.293 --> 0:41:59.813 our work every day is to chip away at all 0:41:59.933 --> 0:42:02.853 the shit that's in the way. You know, you talk 0:42:02.893 --> 0:42:05.893 about the work because the work teaches us that what's 0:42:05.933 --> 0:42:07.053 in the way is the way. 0:42:07.173 --> 0:42:09.893 Right, It's like that the center of the wound is 0:42:10.053 --> 0:42:11.533 it's where our freedom lies. 0:42:12.093 --> 0:42:16.293 And like it's cool because us three and that clip 0:42:16.373 --> 0:42:18.653 of you sharing about your dad was the one that 0:42:18.693 --> 0:42:22.733 I saw that you know, you came across my feed and. 0:42:22.533 --> 0:42:23.693 That's what connected us. 0:42:23.893 --> 0:42:26.973 So you talk about like just how beautiful it is 0:42:27.013 --> 0:42:29.613 and being able to carry the message. And people can 0:42:29.613 --> 0:42:31.693 say whatever they want about social media, but if you 0:42:31.733 --> 0:42:34.293 can and I'm not saying I can, but like, if 0:42:34.333 --> 0:42:36.053 you can manage it the right way and get your 0:42:36.333 --> 0:42:39.493 algorithms in check, you get to like listen to people 0:42:39.573 --> 0:42:41.893 like you every day and it's dude, it's just like 0:42:42.013 --> 0:42:43.173 you do this so well. 0:42:43.253 --> 0:42:45.293 It's been cool to connect with you. 0:42:46.013 --> 0:42:48.213 Thanks man. Yeah, I mean you guys both know this. 0:42:48.373 --> 0:42:52.413 Vulnerability is the way vulnerability is the is the medicine 0:42:52.413 --> 0:42:55.813 the world needs because when you're vulnerable, like like I 0:42:55.893 --> 0:42:58.373 always say, like our passions can connect us, like oh 0:42:58.413 --> 0:43:00.813 you like travel, you like football, that connects us. But 0:43:00.893 --> 0:43:04.893 our pain is what bonds us. It's our adhesive And 0:43:04.933 --> 0:43:06.853 so the moment you say that you didn't fit in 0:43:06.893 --> 0:43:08.573 when you were a kid, or the moment you say 0:43:08.613 --> 0:43:11.333 you've lost your dad or whatever it is, we are 0:43:11.413 --> 0:43:15.213 immediately adhesive, bonded to where like I don't care who 0:43:15.213 --> 0:43:17.093 you voted for, how much money is in your bank account, 0:43:17.133 --> 0:43:18.773 what car you drive. I don't give a shit about 0:43:18.773 --> 0:43:21.733 any of that stuff. I just you lost your dad too. 0:43:21.733 --> 0:43:25.133 I'm like, oh man, we're already connected. And so the 0:43:25.733 --> 0:43:29.413 sooner we can become vulnerable with our audience with people 0:43:29.493 --> 0:43:32.653 like I can make these videos that are like, you know, 0:43:33.253 --> 0:43:38.933 maybe inspiring or cool or helpful about trauma or like educational. 0:43:39.013 --> 0:43:41.453 I can make educational, inspiring videos. But man, the moment 0:43:41.453 --> 0:43:44.373 I'm like sharing about losing my dad or being homeless 0:43:44.533 --> 0:43:49.453 or like all these things, the followers turn to like family, 0:43:50.053 --> 0:43:52.773 and people go from like, oh man, I used to 0:43:52.813 --> 0:43:55.413 follow you because of your content. Now like I'm praying 0:43:55.453 --> 0:43:57.933 with you and for you, and we're connected. And that's 0:43:58.453 --> 0:44:00.973 the level of commitment that we need to with each 0:44:01.013 --> 0:44:03.693 other right now because everything else is vanilla. Everything else 0:44:03.773 --> 0:44:06.853 is like fickle to where like our followers will leave 0:44:06.893 --> 0:44:08.653 us tomorrow if we say the wrong thing, you know. 0:44:09.293 --> 0:44:11.813 And so what we're looking for is we're looking to 0:44:11.893 --> 0:44:15.133 magnetize soul family like you guys, like soul brothers, you know, 0:44:15.213 --> 0:44:17.733 and what you guys are doing in the industry of 0:44:17.973 --> 0:44:21.093 like men talking about this stuff, like dude, you guys 0:44:21.093 --> 0:44:24.333 are man, you guys are paving the way dude, it's 0:44:24.453 --> 0:44:28.053 wild to think that, you know, so many men in 0:44:28.093 --> 0:44:31.693 your guys' fields are doing conversations about like who the 0:44:31.693 --> 0:44:34.533 best basketball player in the world is, which is cool. 0:44:34.573 --> 0:44:37.373 I love that shit too, but like you guys are like, no, no, 0:44:37.493 --> 0:44:42.973 let's talk about childhood and plan medicines and healing and masculinity. Like, dude, 0:44:42.973 --> 0:44:45.533 that shit it's going to change the world. Man, it's wild. 0:44:47.053 --> 0:44:48.933 Well you've said it's like heal the boy and the 0:44:48.973 --> 0:44:51.693 man will appear. Right, what do you feel like for you? 0:44:52.893 --> 0:44:55.253 I've heard you also say, like the question that us 0:44:55.293 --> 0:44:59.333 men can start with asking ourselves or having somebody that 0:44:59.373 --> 0:45:01.893 we trust ask us is is when did you feel 0:45:02.173 --> 0:45:04.253 unsafe or unseen? 0:45:04.973 --> 0:45:07.773 Right? Can we talk about that? I've heard you. I've 0:45:07.813 --> 0:45:10.613 heard you use that as an access point, and I'm like, man, 0:45:11.493 --> 0:45:14.533 so beautiful, Like I'm using that one for every man 0:45:14.613 --> 0:45:17.493 that comes to anything that I do, because it's beautiful. 0:45:17.493 --> 0:45:17.773 Man. 0:45:19.093 --> 0:45:21.293 Yeah, man, I mean it's really simple. Like I said, 0:45:21.413 --> 0:45:24.253 it's a lot simpler than we make it seem when 0:45:24.293 --> 0:45:27.573 it comes to who people are. And you know, one 0:45:27.573 --> 0:45:29.613 of the videos I made I talk about one of 0:45:29.613 --> 0:45:31.613 the first questions I ask people when I first meet 0:45:31.613 --> 0:45:33.733 them or just one of these uncomfortable questions. I aske like, yeah, 0:45:33.733 --> 0:45:35.933 when's last time you cried? And I've been doing this 0:45:35.973 --> 0:45:38.293 for like ten years. And I'll be at events. I'll 0:45:38.333 --> 0:45:40.013 be at like these big events in LA and I'll 0:45:40.173 --> 0:45:41.493 you know people, I'll be like, yoh, one's last time 0:45:41.493 --> 0:45:43.453 you cried, like right when I met them, And it 0:45:43.613 --> 0:45:47.093 just opens up this portal of conversation of someone being like, oh, man, 0:45:47.133 --> 0:45:49.053 I was probably six years old when my dog died, 0:45:49.093 --> 0:45:51.293 and you're like, WHOA, twenty years you even cried. And 0:45:51.333 --> 0:45:52.733 some people are like when I woke up this morning, 0:45:52.733 --> 0:45:56.253 You're like, WHOA, what's going on? And at the end 0:45:56.293 --> 0:45:59.253 of the day, humans want to just like emotionally connect. 0:45:59.293 --> 0:46:02.853 We're emotional beings before we are cerebral beings. I think 0:46:02.853 --> 0:46:05.253 a lot of people think we're very ebel beings because 0:46:05.253 --> 0:46:09.133 we've succeeded in technology. But look at kids like my 0:46:09.413 --> 0:46:12.693 son is one hundred percent pure emotion. Like when he 0:46:12.813 --> 0:46:15.653 is sad, he is crying. When he's happy, he's happy 0:46:15.693 --> 0:46:18.373 when he's he's the most present. He's in the present 0:46:18.413 --> 0:46:21.373 moment at all times. He doesn't know tomorrow exists, and 0:46:21.453 --> 0:46:25.333 so someday teachers start to tell him about homework, and 0:46:25.373 --> 0:46:29.133 then tomorrow exists, and then he someday someone goes, oh, 0:46:29.173 --> 0:46:30.773 you look weird, and then he goes in the mirror 0:46:30.813 --> 0:46:33.013 and he's like, wait, I look different. And then some 0:46:33.133 --> 0:46:35.053 day someone's like, you can't dance, and then he's like, wait, 0:46:35.133 --> 0:46:37.013 I can't dance. I'm the best dancer in the world, 0:46:37.013 --> 0:46:40.813 I thought. And so every moment in the childhood, they 0:46:40.813 --> 0:46:43.213 are told they can't sing, or they can't dance, or 0:46:43.213 --> 0:46:45.293 they look different, or they're not smart because they didn't 0:46:45.293 --> 0:46:48.973 get an A plus. And so every human, all you 0:46:49.013 --> 0:46:51.013 have to do is go back to those moments when 0:46:51.053 --> 0:46:54.013 they first felt like they had to dim their light 0:46:54.253 --> 0:46:57.573 or they had to act a certain way or put 0:46:57.573 --> 0:47:02.053 on a character, you know. And so if you know 0:47:02.173 --> 0:47:04.133 for a fact every human has that, all you have 0:47:04.213 --> 0:47:07.133 to do connected that right away and in different ways 0:47:07.173 --> 0:47:09.933 with questions or anything like that. But you know, when 0:47:09.933 --> 0:47:12.213 I talk to couples about breakups, a lot of the 0:47:12.253 --> 0:47:15.093 person going through a divorce or a breakup, they're so 0:47:15.333 --> 0:47:17.293 they're telling me so much about what the person has 0:47:17.333 --> 0:47:19.893 done and what they're doing, and I'm just like, yoyo, 0:47:20.213 --> 0:47:22.293 I get it, I get it. They did, X, Y, 0:47:22.293 --> 0:47:25.053 and Z. But it has nothing to do with them nothing. 0:47:25.333 --> 0:47:27.773 It has everything to do with how you are feeling, 0:47:28.293 --> 0:47:31.253 what you were experiencing, how you allowed that person in 0:47:31.293 --> 0:47:34.493 your life, and so you have to take that projection 0:47:34.613 --> 0:47:36.893 and bring it all to yourself. How is this a 0:47:36.933 --> 0:47:39.893 gift because you called that person in your life even 0:47:39.893 --> 0:47:43.733 if they cheated on you? And how are you experiencing 0:47:43.733 --> 0:47:45.453 them cheating on you? Because You're not going to change 0:47:45.453 --> 0:47:47.373 my opinion about them. I'm not here, We're not here 0:47:47.373 --> 0:47:50.173 to talk shit about them. But how do you feel? 0:47:50.213 --> 0:47:52.253 What does that make you feel? That they cheated on you? 0:47:52.613 --> 0:47:54.533 And you're like, oh, it makes me feel really like 0:47:54.613 --> 0:47:56.573 pissed and sad. Why is that odd? Because when I 0:47:56.613 --> 0:47:58.973 was young, this girl that I like cheated on you 0:47:59.013 --> 0:48:00.493 know what I'm saying, and you just and it all 0:48:00.493 --> 0:48:04.613 comes back to the personal experience. And so everything that 0:48:04.693 --> 0:48:08.933 makes us mad or triggers us is just showing us 0:48:08.973 --> 0:48:11.973 something that makes that word mad about, you know, or 0:48:12.013 --> 0:48:14.493 that we have an emotion that haven't haven't been met yet. 0:48:15.333 --> 0:48:19.853 I remember, yeah, I remember reading somewhere relatively recently. It's 0:48:19.853 --> 0:48:23.693 like the present moment, like the moment isn't bothering you. 0:48:23.693 --> 0:48:25.293 You're bothering yourself about the moment. 0:48:26.173 --> 0:48:26.493 Hmmm. 0:48:26.853 --> 0:48:32.653 Why Just like looking at that, it's like like, yeah, 0:48:32.733 --> 0:48:33.053 that's it. 0:48:33.213 --> 0:48:36.733 The theme and a lot of what this conversation around, 0:48:36.733 --> 0:48:40.493 I think is just it's its ownership and taking personal 0:48:40.533 --> 0:48:44.173 responsibility for your life and and and to stop stop 0:48:44.253 --> 0:48:47.053 waiting for the right situation or the right circumstance or 0:48:47.133 --> 0:48:51.533 waiting for that person to change. Is my old relationship 0:48:51.613 --> 0:48:55.293 therapist would say, like stop like trying to fix her 0:48:55.373 --> 0:48:58.493 and fix yourself, like be the change you want to see, 0:48:58.533 --> 0:49:01.333 like if you would in my then another therapist was like, 0:49:01.493 --> 0:49:05.093 whatever you're wanting, just go do it, Like stop complaining 0:49:05.133 --> 0:49:07.133 that you're not getting it, and go do it. And 0:49:07.173 --> 0:49:09.293 if you believe in karma, what you put out comes 0:49:09.293 --> 0:49:12.053 back to you, and then if you're putting it out 0:49:12.093 --> 0:49:14.373 and then you're not getting it back, then that's some 0:49:14.533 --> 0:49:17.573 valuable information that you have to make decisions. But like 0:49:18.293 --> 0:49:20.813 you know, I think there's that intention of like why 0:49:20.853 --> 0:49:22.853 are you doing it? Why are you saying I love 0:49:22.893 --> 0:49:24.893 you so you can hear it back. So if I 0:49:24.893 --> 0:49:26.893 don't say it back and you and you say, well 0:49:26.933 --> 0:49:28.733 you didn't say it back, why did you say it 0:49:28.733 --> 0:49:29.013 to me in. 0:49:28.973 --> 0:49:31.893 The first place. So it's that intention part. 0:49:31.653 --> 0:49:36.733 Right, Yeah, and even them cheating on you, you know it. Yeah, 0:49:36.733 --> 0:49:38.493 it all comes back to self. You know. Like my 0:49:38.573 --> 0:49:41.133 favorite thing about Jesus is I believe Jesus was the 0:49:41.133 --> 0:49:45.173 best at asking questions and listening to people. That Jesus 0:49:45.253 --> 0:49:48.773 asked more questions than he spoke. And so like, if 0:49:49.013 --> 0:49:51.773 any human you talk to, if you can get really 0:49:51.813 --> 0:49:54.453 good at asking questions and listening and I'm not talking 0:49:54.493 --> 0:49:57.013 like just fucking listening. I'm talking about listening to what 0:49:57.053 --> 0:50:00.413 they're saying, then you can actually help them get the 0:50:00.493 --> 0:50:04.853 answers that they need without saying a word, Like you 0:50:04.893 --> 0:50:06.453 guys know that, And so it's just you know, and 0:50:06.773 --> 0:50:09.493 that's like what the art of listening is is just 0:50:09.613 --> 0:50:13.053 like continue to like dole down what you want to 0:50:13.053 --> 0:50:15.213 say or what you should say, and just listen a 0:50:15.253 --> 0:50:17.773 little bit deeper, and then you'll just ask another question 0:50:17.933 --> 0:50:20.133 and then one, and then at the end of that thread, 0:50:20.533 --> 0:50:24.733 they'll most likely come to the answer, I mean. 0:50:24.813 --> 0:50:28.733 And it's it's valuable for anybody in any relationship because 0:50:28.733 --> 0:50:31.293 it's people aren't going to remember what you said, They're 0:50:31.293 --> 0:50:32.973 going to remember how you made them feel and everybody 0:50:32.973 --> 0:50:35.013 loves to be heard, and everybody loves. 0:50:34.813 --> 0:50:37.813 To talk about themselves. And I've had to as a teacher, 0:50:37.933 --> 0:50:42.293 yoga teacher in the beginning, a teacher constantly teaching and instructing, 0:50:42.373 --> 0:50:46.173 and then about five years into teaching, I started coaching. 0:50:46.693 --> 0:50:48.733 And it's different. You have to take a step back, 0:50:48.773 --> 0:50:50.893 and I'm grateful for some training through. 0:50:50.773 --> 0:50:54.213 Coactive Training Institute that they teach you to like the 0:50:54.293 --> 0:50:55.173 client has. 0:50:55.013 --> 0:50:56.173 The answers within them. 0:50:56.213 --> 0:50:59.893 Your job is to ask short, powerful questions, you know, 0:50:59.973 --> 0:51:02.533 and the other saying is like God gave us two 0:51:02.573 --> 0:51:04.413 ears and one mouth for a reason, you know. 0:51:05.333 --> 0:51:09.773 Amen. Yeah, man, Yeah, So it's powerful, man, And it's 0:51:09.813 --> 0:51:13.133 just it's just a lot of it's just a lot 0:51:13.133 --> 0:51:16.453 of being vulnerable, being honest, you know, being transparent, like 0:51:16.493 --> 0:51:18.533 having men in your life. You guys have any how'd 0:51:18.533 --> 0:51:19.053 you guys meet? 0:51:20.613 --> 0:51:21.813 I was Darren's Uh. 0:51:21.933 --> 0:51:24.533 Darren was a coaching client of mine, so we had 0:51:24.573 --> 0:51:26.853 connected and I was familiar with his past and my 0:51:26.973 --> 0:51:28.133 past was similar on him. 0:51:28.293 --> 0:51:28.453 You know. 0:51:28.533 --> 0:51:31.373 He was sharing his story on Hard Knocks on HBO 0:51:31.453 --> 0:51:33.533 and I was I was watching it and working with 0:51:33.573 --> 0:51:36.453 athletes back in Phoenix and saw it and saw this 0:51:36.533 --> 0:51:39.453 dude stepping up and sharing his story on like I 0:51:39.533 --> 0:51:42.493 did it in a yoga community in my hometown. He 0:51:42.573 --> 0:51:44.733 did it on you know, for the world to see, 0:51:44.733 --> 0:51:46.253 and I'm like, I gotta meet this dude. 0:51:46.653 --> 0:51:48.853 Yeah, and then it just like well connected from there 0:51:49.413 --> 0:51:50.293 I was twenty nineteen. 0:51:52.253 --> 0:51:57.733 Yeah, whoa, that's amazing, dude. I love that story. Yeah, 0:51:57.893 --> 0:51:58.373 that's cool. 0:51:58.893 --> 0:52:01.133 When we started this, like you know, we are in 0:52:01.253 --> 0:52:04.253 purpose right now as we speak, because we started this 0:52:04.773 --> 0:52:06.693 to reach as many people as possible, to remind them 0:52:06.733 --> 0:52:07.533 that they're not alone. 0:52:07.533 --> 0:52:08.893 And like, you know, when. 0:52:08.773 --> 0:52:13.893 People like might project their image of what a man 0:52:14.053 --> 0:52:16.093 is or like you know, a football player Darren with 0:52:16.133 --> 0:52:18.733 his helmet on, right, and like we're changing the language 0:52:18.773 --> 0:52:21.293 of what it really what I believe it feels it 0:52:21.333 --> 0:52:24.093 sounds like to talk like a real man and talk 0:52:24.093 --> 0:52:28.373 about these things and bring people on and like a 0:52:28.413 --> 0:52:31.173 Michael Phelps or a Darren or people that think they 0:52:31.173 --> 0:52:33.093 have all their shit together and they come in and 0:52:33.133 --> 0:52:35.893 they're talking about their real life mental health struggles that 0:52:35.893 --> 0:52:38.853 they're still having, and so that bankrupts the story for 0:52:38.893 --> 0:52:41.853 the person sitting there thinking their problems are unique or 0:52:41.893 --> 0:52:44.693 that they're alone and that's what we're here to tell 0:52:44.733 --> 0:52:46.813 you that you're not alone. Yeah. 0:52:46.973 --> 0:52:49.293 I mean I think that just bringing that story back 0:52:49.333 --> 0:52:54.253 up kind of ties everything together, right because through me 0:52:54.413 --> 0:52:57.413 being vulnerable and making that choice that one time ultimately 0:52:57.493 --> 0:52:58.573 led me to my purpose. 0:52:59.373 --> 0:52:59.733 Wow. 0:52:59.773 --> 0:53:01.653 And like and you look at the power of like 0:53:02.333 --> 0:53:07.093 small individual choices, Like there was people with the Raiders 0:53:07.093 --> 0:53:09.253 at that time that were as I was going to 0:53:09.293 --> 0:53:10.933 do this interview portion, I was just going there to 0:53:10.933 --> 0:53:13.213 talk and just keep it real about where I had been, 0:53:13.253 --> 0:53:14.693 and there are people like, you know, you don't have 0:53:14.733 --> 0:53:16.253 to do this, you don't have to share, and I 0:53:16.293 --> 0:53:18.013 was just kind of like a, I mean, I'm not 0:53:18.973 --> 0:53:20.933 like that, that fear and that just that weight of 0:53:21.013 --> 0:53:23.293 just like that shame wasn't there anymore. So I just 0:53:23.293 --> 0:53:25.333 went in there and talked and didn't think anything of it. 0:53:25.733 --> 0:53:28.013 And then next thing, you know, it's just like I 0:53:28.093 --> 0:53:30.893 checked Instagram one day and shit, my shit is flooded 0:53:30.973 --> 0:53:35.373 with people just like like you. Like I thought about 0:53:35.613 --> 0:53:38.013 just taking the rest of the pills in this bottle 0:53:38.013 --> 0:53:41.133 and ending it, but I heard you say what you said, 0:53:41.253 --> 0:53:43.893 and now I want to shift. Now I want to pivot, 0:53:43.893 --> 0:53:46.413 And it's just like whoa I wasn't even looking for this, 0:53:46.493 --> 0:53:49.813 but just for somebody that's listening, Like your decision to 0:53:49.853 --> 0:53:52.813 be vulnerable. Who knows what type of scale it may 0:53:52.853 --> 0:53:57.133 be on or the ultimate impact it may have metric wise, 0:53:57.173 --> 0:53:59.693 whatever it may be. Like, the choice you make to 0:53:59.733 --> 0:54:03.653 be vulnerable is going to impact somebody somewhere in your 0:54:03.693 --> 0:54:06.093 world and your spere of influence in a way you 0:54:06.133 --> 0:54:09.293 can't even imagine. So just when it comes to making 0:54:09.293 --> 0:54:13.253 that choice, we hope that you will just show who 0:54:13.253 --> 0:54:16.293 you really are, the scars, the wounds, all of that, man, 0:54:16.413 --> 0:54:20.013 Because it doesn't it doesn't get easier, but you'll start 0:54:20.053 --> 0:54:23.333 to see that your life means that much more to 0:54:23.453 --> 0:54:24.693 you when you do it. 0:54:25.253 --> 0:54:27.853 Mm wow, man. 0:54:27.693 --> 0:54:29.933 Man, so good. I feel like we could go all 0:54:30.013 --> 0:54:32.773 day long with this and BC Man, I feel like 0:54:32.813 --> 0:54:34.853 we're going to have to have you on multiple times, 0:54:34.893 --> 0:54:37.853 probably at least once once a season for sure, because 0:54:37.893 --> 0:54:38.973 it's when. 0:54:38.813 --> 0:54:39.653 I heard you talking. 0:54:39.693 --> 0:54:42.253 I mean, you're you're just speaking everything that we talk about, 0:54:42.293 --> 0:54:44.373 and like I said in the intro, I think you 0:54:44.493 --> 0:54:48.293 just say it in a way that, yeah, your storytelling ability, 0:54:48.493 --> 0:54:49.093 just like. 0:54:49.053 --> 0:54:52.253 You your presence on camera and you're hearing your voice. 0:54:52.293 --> 0:54:54.093 I mean I believe God speaks to the mouths of 0:54:54.133 --> 0:54:55.973 other people, like that's where I hear it, and I 0:54:56.013 --> 0:54:58.893 believe that I can hear and see God through TikTok 0:54:59.173 --> 0:55:00.133 and you. 0:55:00.053 --> 0:55:02.933 Know, and it's beautiful to to have. 0:55:02.893 --> 0:55:05.653 Those moments where it's just like this, this dude has 0:55:05.693 --> 0:55:08.013 something that I want. And that's what I think my 0:55:08.133 --> 0:55:12.653 superpower maybe has been when somebody has something that I want. 0:55:12.853 --> 0:55:14.093 Not the material shit. 0:55:14.133 --> 0:55:17.693 I'm talking about the inner stuff, the inner piece and 0:55:17.733 --> 0:55:19.493 the calm, confidence and the knowing. 0:55:20.893 --> 0:55:23.573 I just get close to him and you know, proximity 0:55:23.653 --> 0:55:24.933 is power. So here we are. 0:55:25.693 --> 0:55:25.853 Yeah. 0:55:25.933 --> 0:55:28.693 Yeah, I mean that's your wisdom, bro. I mean, dude, 0:55:28.733 --> 0:55:32.133 if young people understood what you just said, it's oh, man, dude, 0:55:32.173 --> 0:55:35.613 you gotta Yeah. A lot of people think the success 0:55:35.653 --> 0:55:37.173 they're like, man, if I could just get around these 0:55:37.173 --> 0:55:39.893 wealthy people, I could just get this knowledge and this wisdom, 0:55:39.933 --> 0:55:41.613 and then you're around them and you're like, oh, they've 0:55:41.653 --> 0:55:44.373 just been like playing the system. You're like, oh, these 0:55:44.413 --> 0:55:46.173 wealthy people are just kind of wealthy because they played 0:55:46.213 --> 0:55:49.333 the game. Like the system they like they you know, 0:55:49.373 --> 0:55:51.573 they kind of manipulated the system. And then you kind 0:55:51.573 --> 0:55:53.413 of go, that's not as cool. But then you get 0:55:53.413 --> 0:55:57.213 around embodied people man like my mentor and people I've 0:55:57.293 --> 0:56:00.973 like been mentored by, and you're just like, like, I'll 0:56:00.973 --> 0:56:02.653 just give a story, like, you know, a quick story 0:56:02.653 --> 0:56:05.093 about one of my mentors. He's written three New York 0:56:05.093 --> 0:56:07.053 Prist time selling books. He's not really known like in 0:56:07.093 --> 0:56:08.893 the social media world because he doesn't have social media 0:56:08.933 --> 0:56:10.613 that's so much he doesn't care about it. But his 0:56:10.693 --> 0:56:14.853 name's Tommy Spalding and he writes, he write, He wrote 0:56:14.893 --> 0:56:17.733 a book about how he teaches CEOs of fortune five 0:56:17.813 --> 0:56:20.253 hundred companies how to love their employees better. Like that's 0:56:20.333 --> 0:56:23.293 this guy's level. Like he sits with like these billionaire 0:56:23.373 --> 0:56:25.733 CEOs and he teaches them how to love people better. 0:56:26.453 --> 0:56:28.693 And one time we're at this conference and this was 0:56:28.693 --> 0:56:30.613 like a decade ago, so this was like way before 0:56:30.693 --> 0:56:33.813 vulnerability and masculinity was even a thing. And we're at 0:56:33.813 --> 0:56:35.773 this thing he's speaking at and he's one of the 0:56:35.813 --> 0:56:38.413 keynote speakers, and there's all these businessmen in suits and 0:56:38.453 --> 0:56:41.933 ties and it's this really you know, massive event, and 0:56:42.493 --> 0:56:44.093 like I said, this was over a decade ago, and 0:56:44.133 --> 0:56:46.293 he sees one of his buddies and after everyone's trying 0:56:46.293 --> 0:56:48.333 to get book signing and pictures with him, and he 0:56:48.373 --> 0:56:50.013 goes up and he grabs him by the face and 0:56:50.053 --> 0:56:52.213 just kisses him on each cheek and he like kisses 0:56:52.253 --> 0:56:54.693 his cheek and he just like his entire ore, like 0:56:54.733 --> 0:56:56.253 all these people were like around him, and he just 0:56:56.293 --> 0:56:59.133 and I was like, did that guy just kiss a 0:56:59.213 --> 0:57:02.413 dude on his cheeks and like around all these other 0:57:02.493 --> 0:57:04.773 successful businessmen and suiting ties. And I was like, man, 0:57:04.813 --> 0:57:07.613 I wish I could have that type of masculinity. And 0:57:07.653 --> 0:57:10.093 he's like he's Italian, you know, like at heart, but 0:57:10.173 --> 0:57:11.373 he's not you know, it's not for am Italy, but 0:57:11.413 --> 0:57:12.933 he's like has this Italian heart. But it was just 0:57:13.013 --> 0:57:17.133 so the essence of what he brought into a room 0:57:17.173 --> 0:57:20.613 full of business card kind of men, and I was 0:57:20.693 --> 0:57:22.453 just like, dude, these men are trying to have these 0:57:22.493 --> 0:57:25.613 firm handshakes and this guy just melted into a five 0:57:25.693 --> 0:57:28.893 year old seeing his like lifelong best friend kissed him 0:57:28.893 --> 0:57:32.013 on each cheek and like his aura just surrounded him 0:57:32.013 --> 0:57:33.733 where all these people were around him and no one 0:57:33.773 --> 0:57:36.733 else existed. And I remember just being like I was 0:57:36.773 --> 0:57:38.853 twenty I was I was partly twenty two twenty three, 0:57:38.973 --> 0:57:41.293 just being like I want whatever that is. I want that. 0:57:41.413 --> 0:57:42.813 I was like, I want to figure out how to 0:57:42.893 --> 0:57:44.893 kiss a guy on his cheek in front of one 0:57:44.973 --> 0:57:48.293 hundred and fifty men. And it's like it's just and 0:57:48.333 --> 0:57:49.973 it's I don't know, man, it's just embodied. 0:57:50.053 --> 0:57:54.653 Like I said, dude, tell the audience where they can 0:57:54.733 --> 0:57:55.453 track you down. 0:57:55.533 --> 0:57:57.413 What are you doing? What are your offerings? 0:57:57.413 --> 0:57:59.053 I mean, I feel like you're doing so much and 0:57:59.093 --> 0:58:01.173 I know there's going to be listeners that are gonna. 0:58:00.973 --> 0:58:03.213 Want more of you. So let him know where they 0:58:03.253 --> 0:58:04.373 can track you down. 0:58:05.253 --> 0:58:07.213 Oh man, I appreciate that. I mean, right now, it's 0:58:07.253 --> 0:58:10.733 just my social media is my name BC Serna, and 0:58:10.933 --> 0:58:13.733 I just had another son. I have two kids. I 0:58:13.773 --> 0:58:15.973 have a one year old and a four month year old. 0:58:16.413 --> 0:58:20.493 Crazy but yeah, man, so I'm not doing too much 0:58:20.573 --> 0:58:23.653 right now. I'm doing someone on one like mentorships, some coaching, 0:58:23.773 --> 0:58:26.893 a little bit of like potentially a men's retreat in January, 0:58:27.853 --> 0:58:30.053 so people just stay tuned. But right now, man, I'm 0:58:30.093 --> 0:58:32.533 just doing everything I can to just like spend as 0:58:32.613 --> 0:58:35.853 much quality time with my two sons. I never had 0:58:36.293 --> 0:58:39.693 being a dad on my vision board, but I knew 0:58:39.733 --> 0:58:42.053 I wanted to someday. But my purpose was always my 0:58:42.093 --> 0:58:45.413 message or my focus, my compass. And then when I 0:58:45.453 --> 0:58:47.213 was in the desert, this is the last story I'll tell. 0:58:47.213 --> 0:58:48.573 I know you guys are trying to wrap up, but 0:58:49.013 --> 0:58:52.773 I'm in the desert and one night I am sitting 0:58:52.853 --> 0:58:55.133 there and I'm not on any medicines, but the moon 0:58:55.253 --> 0:58:58.333 comes up over this mountain range and it's this pink moon. 0:58:58.413 --> 0:59:00.853 It's the biggest moon I've ever seen. And I see 0:59:00.893 --> 0:59:02.853 it and like, I just kind of start crying and 0:59:02.893 --> 0:59:05.253 get emotional, and it was weird. I never cried at 0:59:05.293 --> 0:59:06.853 the moon before. I didn't even think that was a thing. 0:59:07.453 --> 0:59:10.613 And I like went through this feminine portal of the moon, 0:59:10.733 --> 0:59:13.053 if that makes sense, and it was like the Holy Spirit, 0:59:13.213 --> 0:59:16.733 and I don't know, there's this term in the Christian 0:59:16.813 --> 0:59:19.093 called the Holy Spirit, and it's like I realized the 0:59:19.133 --> 0:59:22.693 Holy Spirit was feminine, and I realized that all of 0:59:22.733 --> 0:59:25.453 us men came through a feminine portal. We came through 0:59:25.453 --> 0:59:28.253 our mom's feminine portal to get here. And so I 0:59:28.293 --> 0:59:31.613 went through this moon, this full moon, this feminine portal, 0:59:32.093 --> 0:59:34.333 and I started crying for all the feminine women that 0:59:34.373 --> 0:59:37.053 have changed my life, and like my mom my, sister, 0:59:37.213 --> 0:59:41.333 my grandma, and these women that i've also like women 0:59:41.333 --> 0:59:44.213 that I didn't honor in a way that like was 0:59:44.453 --> 0:59:47.053 very honorable in my life. And so I cried on 0:59:47.133 --> 0:59:50.533 behalf of just like asking for forgiveness for them. And 0:59:50.573 --> 0:59:54.813 then God was just like, hey, idiot, if it's not 0:59:54.933 --> 0:59:57.173 your best friend, who else would it be. And at 0:59:57.173 --> 1:00:00.093 the time, Esa was my best friend, my partner, and 1:00:00.493 --> 1:00:02.413 la Is I mean, Issa was my best friend and 1:00:02.453 --> 1:00:05.013 she's beautiful, but like la is La, I was like 1:00:05.133 --> 1:00:08.813 I loved dating women in la and I was still 1:00:08.853 --> 1:00:14.373 getting over a heartbreak. And so God's like, hey, idiot, 1:00:14.413 --> 1:00:16.453 if it's not your best friend, who else would it be? 1:00:16.773 --> 1:00:19.773 And I was like that makes sense? So I uh 1:00:19.933 --> 1:00:22.773 so I called Isa. She was in Lebanon, that's where 1:00:22.813 --> 1:00:25.093 she's from, and she moved into my van with me, 1:00:25.693 --> 1:00:27.813 and we lived in my van for a year and 1:00:27.853 --> 1:00:29.933 then had a baby, and then I built out a 1:00:29.973 --> 1:00:32.253 school bus and then we lived in a school bus, 1:00:32.813 --> 1:00:34.773 and then we had a second baby, and so this 1:00:34.893 --> 1:00:37.493 is our first house we've ever had in North Carolina. 1:00:38.053 --> 1:00:40.733 And we went from a living in a van starting 1:00:40.733 --> 1:00:42.933 our relationship, living in a van for a year and 1:00:42.973 --> 1:00:45.333 then living in a tiny home and then a school 1:00:45.333 --> 1:00:48.413 bus and for two months we've had our first house. 1:00:48.653 --> 1:00:53.973 So it's been it's been a journey. Yeah, man, that's wild. 1:00:53.973 --> 1:00:56.893 We got yeah, we we just barely tapped into your 1:00:56.973 --> 1:00:59.653 your story and all these other cool things you're doing 1:00:59.733 --> 1:01:02.213 and have done because you got just so much good 1:01:03.053 --> 1:01:05.413 quality wisdom. So yeah, we'll dude, we'll definitely have you 1:01:05.493 --> 1:01:07.413 back on. But thank you, thank you for being here, 1:01:07.453 --> 1:01:10.013 thank you for making time. I'm so grateful that we've connected, 1:01:10.053 --> 1:01:13.933 and I trust that our connection, the three of us, 1:01:13.973 --> 1:01:16.013 will only build from here. 1:01:17.013 --> 1:01:19.173 Hey, man, you know I'm praying for you guys, and 1:01:19.533 --> 1:01:21.533 I'm so honored to be on this show with you guys. 1:01:21.533 --> 1:01:24.013 I'm so honored to be in your guys's presence. And man, 1:01:24.093 --> 1:01:27.213 I just can't imagine all the young boys listening to 1:01:27.253 --> 1:01:29.293 you guys, all the young men listening to you guys 1:01:29.373 --> 1:01:33.853 and just finding hope, finding peace, finding clarity, and just 1:01:33.893 --> 1:01:36.373 hopefully feeling like their feet can touch the ground and 1:01:36.493 --> 1:01:38.533 just feeling like they're not alone. So I just I 1:01:38.773 --> 1:01:40.973 celebrate you guys, and I just can't think you guys enough. 1:01:41.053 --> 1:01:41.653 Appreciate you. 1:01:43.533 --> 1:01:47.453 Appreciate you brother man Man Morty Morty. You know, bro, 1:01:47.613 --> 1:01:52.093 like this is the true work. Like that you're what 1:01:52.093 --> 1:01:54.573 you're doing is helping men open their eyes to what 1:01:54.573 --> 1:01:56.493 they don't even know what they want, but deep down 1:01:56.533 --> 1:02:00.013 they truly will want one day and know that will 1:02:00.373 --> 1:02:02.973 be something that will fill that void within them. 1:02:03.013 --> 1:02:03.133 Bro. 1:02:03.293 --> 1:02:07.133 So for that man, big time salute, Bro, Thank you, 1:02:07.213 --> 1:02:07.933 thank you for your time. 1:02:07.973 --> 1:02:11.733 Man. Thanks guys, praying for you, guys, Appreciate you all. 1:02:12.933 --> 1:02:14.733 All Right, We're out, everybody, Suer peace. 1:02:22.653 --> 1:02:26.573 Comeback Stories is a production of Inflection Network and iHeartRadio. 1:02:26.893 --> 1:02:31.573 For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 1:02:31.653 --> 1:02:33.213 or wherever you get your podcasts.