1 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,519 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff Mom Never Told You from how Supports 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 1: and I'm Caroline. And in part two of our Mother's 4 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: Day Week, we're talking about post pregnancy weight loss. In 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: our last episode, we talked about celebrity culture and baby 6 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: bump watches, and today we're talking about another growing aspect 7 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: of tabloid celebrity culture, which is the post pregnancy weight 8 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: loss watch. Yeah, this is yet another but related obsession 9 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: with monitoring women's bodies. Women we don't know in real life, 10 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 1: although as we'll talk about it certainly does bleed into 11 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: real life out of the pages of the tabloids. Um. 12 00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: I mean, celebrity women themselves are sort of damned they do, 13 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: they're damned if they don't. If they gain too much 14 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: weight during pregnancy, they're out of control, they're sloppy. If 15 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: they don't gain enough weight, they're not taking care of 16 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: themselves and they're being selfish and not taking care of 17 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: their future children. But I think when overall, when we 18 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,080 Speaker 1: when we have this discussion, we need to keep in 19 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: mind that generally the celebrities who we are judging have 20 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: enough money to hire professional chefs and trainers that allow 21 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: them to meet crazy expectations that women's bodies should look 22 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: a certain way in a certain period of time post pregnancy. Well, 23 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,559 Speaker 1: and I think too that this whole post pregnancy weight 24 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: loss fascination obviously goes along with a tabloid and paparazzi 25 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: culture and that being more present than ever before via 26 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: celeb blogs and social media. And I think it also 27 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: is an extension of how we love a magical makeover. 28 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: We love before and after. So we now have so 29 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: many photo galleries on so many websites and also featured 30 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: in print of the female celebrity before she had the baby. 31 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: You know, at her at her largest point during pregnancy, 32 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: and then now look at her on the beach. You 33 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: can't even tell she had a baby. How did she 34 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: do it? I mean? But that's key though to this discussion, 35 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: whether it's about baby bumps or post pregnancy weight loss, 36 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: is almost erasing. Is this this pursuit of eracing any 37 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: evidence that a baby was had? And yes, I'm looking 38 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,679 Speaker 1: at you, Victoria's Secret Angels. That's like a huge discussion. 39 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: It seems like every year when that Victoria's Secret fashion 40 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: show rolls around, some angel three hours ago popped out 41 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: a baby, and people are like, Oh, good for her, 42 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: Look at her. You can't even tell look at those abs. 43 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: Oh my god, where's the pooch? It doesn't exist. That 44 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,079 Speaker 1: baby just sort of evaporated out of her wound and 45 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,519 Speaker 1: came back together outside of it. And of course the 46 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: sub the subtext of that is and ladies, you can 47 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: do that too. Yeah, but I mean even celebrities are 48 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: sort of tisk tisking other celebrities. So there was an 49 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: in style photo gallery, one of three billion out there 50 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,519 Speaker 1: on the internet that featured celebrities before and after pictures, 51 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: and one of the celebrities in the gallery was Rebecca 52 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: Remain when she was pregnant with her twins, and the 53 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: accompanying text UH talked about how she she got this 54 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 1: phone call from supermodel L the Body McPherson one day 55 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: and she says, L told me, listen, you have a 56 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: nice body. You should really take care of it. That 57 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: was the best advice I ever got until then. It 58 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: never occurred to me to work out. I have a 59 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: lot of questions regarding that. Um, but yeah, I was 60 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: as surprised to read that as you were, Caroline, because 61 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: I don't know if that was Rebecca remains subtle way 62 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: of throwing shade at El McPherson for calling her and 63 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: having the cajones to say that. Um. But the entire thing, though, 64 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: the entire tone of this in Style and so many 65 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: of these other galleries is applause for these women of 66 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: look at them. So it's just looking fantastic, just looking great. 67 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: She did pilates, she takes long walks around her California ranch, 68 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: the hikes. She only eats spinach. It's perfect. I mean. 69 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: And this also, I mean, the Kardashians are a controversial 70 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: family for us to even mention on this podcast. I 71 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: know that because when we posted a photo of Kim 72 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: Kardashian on our Facebook page, Heavens, the comments section was 73 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: a little disturbing. But they are important to talk about 74 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: in this conversation because, I mean, the focus on their 75 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: bodies pre and post childbirth has been horrendous. There was 76 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:02,799 Speaker 1: one incident with Courtney card Ashian when Okay, Tabloid magazine 77 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: just photoshopped her body completely, erasing all of the weight 78 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 1: that she had gained, and she even came out and 79 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,039 Speaker 1: said that he I haven't lost all that weight that 80 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: was a total photoshop job. Well yeah, because I think 81 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: they published that like five days after she'd given birth 82 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: to her baby, and so she's like, no, hello, no, 83 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: this magazine. I never spoke to this magazine. They never 84 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: took these pictures of me. They just totally in photoshop 85 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: shaved off part of my body. And of course I 86 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,359 Speaker 1: just wonder if this is part of an effort. I wonder, 87 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: but I sort of know that this is an effort 88 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,799 Speaker 1: to just get moms in line at the checkout counter 89 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,719 Speaker 1: to be like, oh my god, she just had that 90 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: baby four hours ago and she's already lost the weight. 91 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: How did she do it? I'm going to buy this 92 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 1: magazine to find out. I mean, it's it's sort of 93 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: a cheap trick to try to do that. And then, 94 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 1: of course, say what you will about Kim Kardashian or 95 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: any of the Kardashians for that matter, but these women 96 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 1: do not deserve the body abuse that they've suffered, particularly Kim, 97 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: because the abuse that she suffered, I mean it was 98 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: this constant, never ending barrage of fat shaming both during 99 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,039 Speaker 1: and after her pregnancy, to which I say, could you 100 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: people please lay off? She is a very short person. 101 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 1: And wait shows up very easily on really short people. 102 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 1: But again it's part of that whole applause factor. E 103 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: featured a story headlined Kim Kardashian Unhappy with post baby body, 104 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:32,039 Speaker 1: with so many exclamation points, and it talks about how 105 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: the mom of one is determined to lose fifteen to 106 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: twenty pounds to get her pre baby body back. And 107 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: that's that's everything. All of those magazines out there were 108 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: talking about the crazy workouts to try to get your 109 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: body back. Well, think about that language, get your body back. No, 110 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 1: you didn't. You give birth to a baby, you didn't like, 111 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: your body didn't leave you. You're not somehow disconnected from 112 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: your body. I mean, I understand what that means. But 113 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, when you pay attention to this language, 114 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: like we talked about in the baby Bump episode, how 115 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: the tabloid term showing off, showing off. Anytime a pregnant 116 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: woman exits her house, she's showing off. She's not just 117 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: going to the grocery store. And it's a similar kind 118 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: of thing. As soon as women have a baby, they're 119 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: immediately trying to get this runaway body back. You know, 120 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: we mentioned Kate Middleton in our in our first episode, 121 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: and she is no stranger to being on the receiving 122 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: end of all this body judgment. Um was she was 123 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: totally put under a microscope both during her pregnancy because 124 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: apparently her baby bump was too small by tabloid standards, 125 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: and then of course the post baby body policing she 126 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 1: faced for her post baby bump. And it actually, though hope, 127 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: you know, filled me with hope. She that actually faced 128 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: a bit of a backlash. It sort of was sparked 129 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: by this British news anchor who posted a picture of 130 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,119 Speaker 1: herself two months after having a baby, and it's like, look, 131 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: this is what you look like after baby. You just 132 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: pushed out of human Just screw everybody else. Yeah. I 133 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: remember very clearly in her first publicity photos after having 134 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: Prince George, she's wearing this blue dress and you can 135 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: see the outline of her stomach and she still has 136 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 1: the bump. And I remember reading probably a post on 137 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: Jezebel or someplace like that saying thank God for this 138 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 1: photo of showing they're like, I'm so glad that she 139 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: came out in public while she still had this bump, 140 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: because everyone thinks that it just disappears. But no, your 141 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: bunner was. There was a human in there hanging out, burrowing, 142 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: and the burrow doesn't just magically go away. Also, I'm 143 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: not a doctor. Clearly I think you got you got 144 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: a little burrow. No, But I mean I think it's 145 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: crazy that that. I think you can argue that much 146 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: of our human population has either been pregnant or been 147 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: around a pregnant person and should logically know and understand 148 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: or at least have it makes sense in your brain 149 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: that that baby bump doesn't just go away magically. But 150 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: we somehow hold famous people to this expectation that they're 151 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: all going to look like a Victoria's Secret Angel after 152 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: they give birth, and it's just not reality. And this 153 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: is something that also came up more recently when a 154 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: Fox News anchor made a whole bunch of nasty comments 155 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 1: about the body of pop star and new mom Kelly Clarkson, 156 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 1: and people, thankfully we're super vocal in their displeasure with 157 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: how like gross and tacky he was, and he ended 158 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: up apologizing because I mean, at that point, you have 159 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: to You've been a jerk and now the whole world 160 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 1: is calling you on it. But still I mean, that 161 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: is just an example of the fact that everybody's looking, 162 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: everybody's judging, and they think they have a right to 163 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:53,839 Speaker 1: for some reason. Well, this also prompts a deeper look 164 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: into this fixation that we clearly have on weight, babies 165 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: and and these women's bodies, because along with all of 166 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: these semi horrific before and after photo galleries on in 167 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: Style and other places, there are plenty of think pieces 168 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,079 Speaker 1: as well trying to analyze our celebrity pregnancy weight obsession, 169 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: and honestly, they're probably warranted considering that level of shaming 170 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 1: that we've been talking about. And it's a similar theme 171 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: that comes up as our previous episode focusing on the 172 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,960 Speaker 1: baby bump. Are we just uncomfortable with what pregnancy means? 173 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: Do we just want no evidence that these women had 174 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: sex whatsoever, but we want them to be sexualized. We 175 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: just don't want to think about them in the context 176 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 1: of sex for the sake of procreation, right, Yeah, I 177 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: think that has a lot to do with it, and 178 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:52,719 Speaker 1: Katie Gentile, writing for Daily Based in January, wrote, it 179 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 1: is chilling to watch the culture become more and more 180 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: obsessed with babies, while the evidence of how these babies 181 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: are created, it is removed from public view. It's like, okay, well, 182 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: you can be a pre pregnancy hot sexual being. During 183 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 1: pregnancy you're allowed to have a very cute, well accessorized 184 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: baby bump in in modest, not too sexy clothes, and 185 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: then post pregnancy you need to get rid of any 186 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: uh flappy skin evidence that you ever created a human Well, 187 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: and you mentioned too, how having the celebrity pregnancies are 188 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,679 Speaker 1: obvious tabloid fodder because it instantly provides at least nine 189 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: months worth of related news in quotes. And the postpartum 190 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: weight is part of that because now that the baby 191 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: has gone well, we can still talk about estimations of 192 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: how much weight did they gain? And it's interesting that 193 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: the weight almost becomes its own entity, like how much 194 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: money did they make last year? How much weight did 195 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,959 Speaker 1: they gain? Well, it's in the same way of compartmentalized 196 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: thing these women into bumps, into weight, into they are 197 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: they're fully human beings anymore, They're just these parts of themselves. Yeah, 198 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: and then those parts are used to sell us diet 199 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: and fitness tips that at best are unrealistic and at 200 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:22,199 Speaker 1: worst are unhealthy. And then we blame the regular women 201 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: around us on the street or in our lives for 202 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 1: failing if they can't achieve that post baby supermodel status. 203 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: And so there's this sort of equation that happens between 204 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:38,199 Speaker 1: empowerment with weight control and making yourself smaller. It's that 205 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,079 Speaker 1: whole getting your body back is supposed to be empowering. 206 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: And while yes, is exercising and eating right and and 207 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 1: feeling good about yourself empowering absolutely, but is forcing yourself 208 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,079 Speaker 1: to go into overdrive to an unhealthy extent to make 209 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: yourself smaller when dude, you just created a human Well, 210 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 1: because it's not about health, it's about a thin ideal 211 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: as empowerment, and the this culture celebrates that so much. 212 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: This was something I was reminded of during this past 213 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: year's Golden Globes when Rosamund Pike start of Gone Girl, 214 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: arrived in this Alexander Way gown that had side cutouts, 215 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 1: and it wasn't shocking necessarily, but it was daring, every 216 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,680 Speaker 1: single fashion person said, because she had had a baby 217 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,959 Speaker 1: five weeks previous, and so they were saying, well, this 218 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: is a daring choice for a woman who has so 219 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: recently had a baby to make, because she's really putting 220 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: a lot of her body on this play. It's like 221 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: people are freaking out. It's like no, no, no, we 222 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 1: don't want you to let us into your lives like that, 223 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: like post nude when you're at your quote unquote normal 224 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: weight or normal body, or when you you have the 225 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 1: big bump and you can do it to me more style, right, 226 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: but like, oh, I don't want to accidentally maybe see 227 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 1: a stretch mark like that might be t m I 228 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 1: for me. So what is this cycle of pregnancy and 229 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,319 Speaker 1: judgments and backlash? Repeat? What is that doing to us? 230 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: Not just celebrities, but how is that impacting just humans 231 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 1: with bodies walking around? Well? I really liked author Claire 232 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:25,120 Speaker 1: Misco's post over at Fusion Talking. She leads off by 233 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: talking about that Fox News anchors comments about Kelly Clarkson's weight, 234 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: and she says that awful comments like this really end 235 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: up reinforcing our own negative feelings, and so I thought 236 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: her post was so on point and so depressing all 237 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 1: at the same time. She says the whole thing mimics 238 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: the internal dialogue that millions of smart, accomplished, bona fide 239 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: feminist women have with ourselves, and she talks about the 240 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 1: cycle of feeling bad because we don't think we're thin 241 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: enough or fit enough, and then we feel even worse 242 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: for getting caught up in that, you know, dumb internal dialogue. 243 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 1: We feel like we should be above that at and 244 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: beyond that. She says, the anchor's words, his unkind words themselves, 245 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: remind us all, even those who those of us who 246 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: feel like we're confident and we can rise above all 247 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 1: of that junk, they remind us that no matter how 248 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 1: hard we work, whether it's working on our outside or 249 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: working on our inside or both, there's a very real 250 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: cloud of appearance based judgment hanging over us. And she says, 251 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: it's not in our heads. People, not only this news anchor, 252 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,440 Speaker 1: He's just one of a million people all over the 253 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: place are looking at your pregnant body or your post 254 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: pregnant body, or you're never been pregnant body, and hurling 255 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 1: judgments at all the time. And it's a terrible reminder 256 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: of that. Yeah. I mean, if we try to post 257 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: this as a chicken egg kind of thing, I don't 258 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 1: necessarily think that celebrity culture is to blame. I don't 259 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: think that that's the chicken that laid the egg. I 260 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: think that it's a reflection of our collective scrutiny, and 261 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 1: tabloid culture is capitalizing on that and absolutely fanning the 262 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 1: flames in quote unquote real life. And we're gonna talk 263 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: more about that in the experience of I r L moms, 264 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 1: moms not living in Hollywood and wearing Alexander Waite gowns 265 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 1: when we come right back from a quick break, now, 266 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: I should emphasize the Rosmund Pike and other other women 267 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: who have children who do wear Alexander wang gowns are 268 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: not not real moms, just me, you know, women who 269 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 1: aren't necessarily going to be in the spotlight of celebrity tabloids, 270 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 1: or women who don't have the money to pay chefs 271 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: and trainers every day. Yeah, and this was something that 272 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: Bethany Newmeyer was writing about in April over the Huffington's 273 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: post about how she faced a list of terrible comments 274 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 1: from people who work and learned about the health of 275 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 1: her fetus because she was apparently too thin in their eyes, 276 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: And she posted a photo of herself and yeah, I 277 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 1: mean she was literally like a you know, a rather 278 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,439 Speaker 1: thin person with a basketball on the front of her. 279 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,919 Speaker 1: But that's also how pregnancy goes for some bodies. Everybody 280 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 1: has a different body. But she pointed out that it's 281 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: not only that she was critiqued for being too thin. 282 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 1: Other people did tell her, God, you're so fat. I know, 283 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: I know, I can't win. You know you can't um 284 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,880 Speaker 1: And a lot of this our perceptions about ourselves and 285 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 1: about other women is really tied up in our own 286 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: attitudes towards weight, fat, food, confidence, and beauty overall. And 287 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 1: this paper in Social Science and Medicine in February two 288 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: thousand looked at what affects weight management and weight concerns 289 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: during the so called motherhood transition, when you're going from 290 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: being pregnant to going to have the baby actually in 291 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 1: your arms, and they found that, not surprisingly, your pre 292 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 1: pregnancy attitudes towards your weight, towards really weight and body 293 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,920 Speaker 1: fat in general ended up being the main influence on 294 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: their attitudes towards weight and physical activity and diet, and 295 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: on postpartum weight outcomes the most, and only a few 296 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,679 Speaker 1: of those thirty six women interviewed in that study diverged 297 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: from their pre pregnancy attitudes towards weight, diet, and exercise. 298 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,439 Speaker 1: And the Journal of Reproductive and Infant psychology took it 299 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 1: further in one study publish in two thousand five looking 300 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,439 Speaker 1: at the effects of disordered eating habits, and this is 301 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: something that we've touched on before an earlier podcast, and 302 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:46,760 Speaker 1: it found that moms with eating disorders were likelier than 303 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: the comparison group to view the external world as negative 304 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 1: and critical about what the study authors described as their 305 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:59,159 Speaker 1: new maternal selves, which is kind of heartbreaking. And I 306 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 1: do know of women who definitely feel that level of 307 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: scrutiny and are very uncomfortable with the pregnancy weight gain 308 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: and want it just like it made them feel like 309 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 1: completely different humans. Yeah, exactly, and when when they compared 310 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 1: the moms who had disordered eat eating habits to moms 311 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,680 Speaker 1: in the comparison group, those moms seemed quote better able 312 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 1: to prioritize and tolerate their baby's dependency on their bodies, 313 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: and they discussed breastfeeding in relation to the needs of 314 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 1: their child rather than their own needs. Unlike circling back 315 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,440 Speaker 1: to tabloids, basically every story about a new mom that's 316 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: ever been written which frames breastfeeding is like a quick 317 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 1: fix to lose weight. Oh yeah, if you read any 318 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: of those stories about well, how did she get back 319 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 1: to that pre baby body which apparently went on vacations. 320 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, Chicabo and all of them always say, well, 321 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: eye breastfed. So I just dropped the weight. And it's like, yeah, 322 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 1: and we'll we'll touch on we'll we'll get into you 323 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: know what realistic expectations for weight loss are, and we 324 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,640 Speaker 1: will touch on breastfeeding. But you just can't look at 325 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: it as a magic fix like that you have to 326 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 1: be able to take care of yourself and your new baby. Well, 327 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 1: it's just unhealthy to promote breastfeeding, not as oh, this 328 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: is a choice that you can have, this is how 329 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,160 Speaker 1: it may or may not impact your health, your baby's health, 330 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 1: but rather as a weight loss tip that seems not 331 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: so healthy. And now we're going to mention the old panopticon, 332 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: Jeremy Bentham's famed panopticon that we discussed in our episode 333 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: on slut shaming. And the panopticon is this idea that 334 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: we are constantly being surveiled not only by everyone around us, 335 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: but also too by ourselves. Yeah, and this is definitely 336 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 1: a relevant philosophy when it comes not only to weight 337 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,680 Speaker 1: and body image, but to pregnancy too. And this is 338 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 1: coming from a chapter in the book Weighty Issues, Fatness 339 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:06,199 Speaker 1: and Thinness of Social Problems by John Germov and Lauren Williams. 340 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 1: And they're really talking about dieting and weight overall in 341 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: general as it pertains to women and women's body image specifically. 342 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 1: But I think so much of it ties so easily 343 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: into this discussion about post pregnancy weight. So they start 344 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 1: off by talking about dieting being a primarily female act. 345 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: It's something normal that women are expected to do. They're 346 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 1: expected to limit food intake and to be dissatisfied with 347 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: their bodies. And so they ask, like, who's normalizing this, 348 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,679 Speaker 1: and they say that, you know, it's the media, it's fashion, 349 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 1: it's the fitness industries. And they point out that there's 350 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: this discourse surrounding the beauty myth and the thin ideal 351 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 1: um that at first glance is sort of evidence of 352 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: this level of patriarchal oppression over women. But the authors say, 353 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,000 Speaker 1: we think there's a little bit more to it than that. Yeah, 354 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: as they start to peel this onion, there's this layer 355 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: of women's excess being measured by appearance, and they write 356 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:07,159 Speaker 1: it's probably not by accident that women's appearance norms have 357 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 1: intensified with the political and economic gains made by women 358 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: in advanced industrialized societies. And it was really fascinating how 359 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 1: they noted that, particularly for say, quote unquote first wave 360 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:27,119 Speaker 1: feminism in the early twentieth century, late nineteenth century, Uh, 361 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: women's suffrage was very much aligned with health, physical health 362 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 1: and exercise and those kinds of regimens because they saw 363 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: that as sort of part of our liberation. And there 364 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:49,159 Speaker 1: is still jumped to today, there is still this I 365 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:53,040 Speaker 1: don't know, there's still lots of body politics obviously embedded 366 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 1: in these conversations we have about feminism. Yeah, and so 367 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 1: you know, they've talked about body image, body expectation, especially 368 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: as women advanced through through an in society. But the 369 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,640 Speaker 1: people profiting off of this thin ideal in in our 370 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 1: case today, we're talking about tabloids and gossip blogs profiting 371 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: not to mention fashion and fitness industries, but to do this, 372 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 1: you standardize a thin ideal of beauty that the majority 373 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 1: of women can never attain, they right, but you make 374 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 1: it look so appealing that they actually seek it out. 375 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 1: And in in this case, that goes back to that 376 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: photoshop to cover image of Courtney Kardashians, so that if 377 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 1: you're that harried mom and the checkout line, you might 378 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: want to pick up that magazine to get those elusive 379 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 1: answers like, oh, maybe it is easy for some people 380 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,199 Speaker 1: to just drop this weight. Oh I will almost always 381 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 1: if there's a grocery store line, I will pick up 382 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: and US Weekly and look at it. If I go 383 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,880 Speaker 1: on a long trip. That is my guilty pleasure look 384 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 1: at those tabloids because they are so I mean, And 385 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,880 Speaker 1: even with all the pregnancy body stuff and even being 386 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 1: a feminist and being totally aware of what's going on 387 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 1: in these magazines, I still look at them absolutely. And 388 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 1: it's all part of what Jermov and Williams talk about 389 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 1: in this chapter about women policing other women as well. 390 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,480 Speaker 1: It's not just you know, the male gaze that is 391 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,640 Speaker 1: at fault here. Yeah. They call it being the bearers 392 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: of our own surveillance. Yeah. And they found that for 393 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: many women, being critical of other women's bodies served to 394 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: boost their own self esteem. Like one woman they quoted 395 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: who said, it makes you feel better if she's got 396 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,879 Speaker 1: something wrong. It makes you realize she's not perfect. And 397 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,679 Speaker 1: I'm just wondering, is that why we love the before 398 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,120 Speaker 1: and after baby pictures so much, like, look at her, 399 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,199 Speaker 1: she gained a bunch of weight. She's not perfect or 400 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 1: she hasn't lost it all yet, she's not perfect. Into that, 401 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: I say, let's all just acknowledge straight up that nobody's perfect. 402 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 1: Let's not have to tie that into trying to tear 403 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 1: someone down to make the realization. Well, and then we 404 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: get into this so called cult of thinness, possibly creating 405 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: a gateway toward cosmetic surgery as well. Um, there's an 406 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: analysis which found that plastic surgery can, beyond signifying oppression quote, 407 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: enable some women to alleviate the unbearable suffering and reappropriate 408 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 1: formerly hated bodies. And this was something that post baby 409 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: Gwyneth Paltrow actually discussed um, saying that she was open 410 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:33,880 Speaker 1: to the idea of a post breastfeeding breast lift. Yeah. 411 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 1: And I mean when I tried to google, because I 412 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,120 Speaker 1: tried to look for the actual quote that she made 413 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 1: in the magazine about being open to it or having 414 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 1: done it or thinking about doing it, and I couldn't 415 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 1: even I couldn't even wade through all of the gossip 416 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 1: blogs that were just talking about did she didn't she 417 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: look at these pictures to her boobs look the same 418 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,199 Speaker 1: as they did back when she was like sixteen. I 419 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 1: don't think so, and it's like, ah, please, let's drop it. 420 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: So like I couldn't. I couldn't even find the actual 421 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 1: article where someone actually interviewed her and got a quote, 422 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: because it was just full of nothing but trash blogs 423 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,679 Speaker 1: posting pictures of her body and commenting. It's like we 424 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 1: secretly hope it's true or not so secretly, so that 425 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 1: we can have something else, especially for Gwyneth Paltrow, we 426 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: can have something, something else to poke at. But let's 427 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 1: get real. Let's step away from the tabloid aisle, and 428 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 1: let's get real in terms of bodies post pregnancy. And 429 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: this is coming not from US Weekly, but thankfully from 430 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: the National Library of Medicine's Medline Plus. Okay, so we 431 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: have some facts, not before and after photos, some actual facts. Yeah. 432 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:47,200 Speaker 1: And so they emphasize setting appropriate expectations, don't get ahead 433 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,159 Speaker 1: of yourself when it comes to losing weight. You have 434 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 1: to be kind to yourself. And I think that's true 435 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: of every aspect in life, including your post baby life. 436 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 1: So they lay out sort of a weight expectations timeline 437 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: that you should plan to hit your you pregnancy weight 438 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:05,120 Speaker 1: or thereabouts about six months post delivery. And they point 439 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 1: out that on average, women lose half their baby weight 440 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: so to speak, by six weeks post baby, while the 441 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 1: rest of it comes off gradually over the next several months. 442 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: And they also point out hopefully, which I was like, huh, yeah, 443 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 1: good point, you'll basically lose ten or so pounds or 444 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,439 Speaker 1: right out of the gate thanks to just birthen your child. 445 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 1: So so there's ten pounds right off the top. And 446 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: they emphasize, as do several other sources, that you should 447 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 1: aim for a weight loss of about one and a 448 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:40,399 Speaker 1: half pounds a week without dropping below your minimum calories 449 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: for the day. But do not exert any effort to 450 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: shed weight too quickly. Give yourself, they say, until you're 451 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: six weeks check up before you actually try to lose weight. 452 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: If you're breastfeeding, wait until your baby is at least 453 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: two months old to give it a go. And why 454 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: because your body needs to recover. It's just done this 455 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 1: pretty incredible thing that also was pretty tough on your body, 456 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: and losing too much weight too fast can hamper the process. 457 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,760 Speaker 1: And also if you are breastfeeding, it could diminish your 458 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:19,520 Speaker 1: milk production. And speaking of breastfeeding, like we mentioned earlier, 459 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 1: be careful treating it like some kind of miracle weight 460 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: loss solution, because yes, it burns calories, but that also 461 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,359 Speaker 1: means that you need to make those calories up, because 462 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,320 Speaker 1: a breastfed baby needs up to eight hundred fifty calories 463 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 1: a day. Oh, that's so cute to sift. It's adorable. 464 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 1: It's not like they're doing a lot of workout. I 465 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,560 Speaker 1: know it's true, And those eight hundred fifty calories come 466 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: from you. That's right, not me. But you can not know, 467 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,840 Speaker 1: not me, you're not you're not taking any of my calories. 468 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: All right, step off. But you also have to face 469 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 1: this new reality because you've got to get out of 470 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 1: your mind the celebrity magazine jargon of getting your body back, 471 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,400 Speaker 1: because the thing is a like christ and said, it 472 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 1: didn't go anywhere. It's just that it's changed. After you 473 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 1: have a baby, you might forever have a slightly softer tummy, 474 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: you might have stretch marks on a larger waistline. This 475 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 1: isn't fodder for you to hate yourself or resent yourself 476 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:18,800 Speaker 1: or feel guilty about not looking a certain way that 477 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: you did beforehand. This is the body that you know 478 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 1: carried a baby and it took. It took some some 479 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: abuse at that baby's expense, including the physical stuff that 480 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,200 Speaker 1: goes into creating that post baby pooch. It is not fat, 481 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: just in case you're wondering. It's caused by the separation 482 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: of the outermost abdominal muscles, which in turn causes the 483 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: connective tissue to stretch sideways and get thinner, and that week, 484 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: all connective tissue is holding up organs instead of stoming muscles. 485 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: So please be gentle with yourself. As someone who's never 486 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 1: carried a child, I ask you all to please be 487 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: gentle with yourselves. And that goes for exercise as well 488 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 1: as sex. Be gentle, let your body heal as you 489 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,760 Speaker 1: do that. And at one point while we were researching Caroline, 490 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 1: I was tempted to start poking around for well, what 491 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 1: is the average amount of weight someone gains while pregnant? 492 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 1: And I stopped myself because the answer is it doesn't 493 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 1: really matter because everybody is different. Every Body is different, 494 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 1: and we tend to forget that, and we tend to 495 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,600 Speaker 1: forget that, Oh, people lose weight at different rates. People 496 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,239 Speaker 1: have different kinds of pre and post pregnancy diets. Some 497 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 1: people might have had a c section versus a vaginal delivery, 498 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: and that's going to impact your recovery as well. So 499 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 1: instead of seeing it as a weight lost journey, as 500 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 1: we were so often primed to do, maybe we should 501 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 1: think about it more in terms of just the recovery period. Yeah, 502 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 1: well yeah, And I mean we need to definitely hear 503 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 1: from moms who've been through it and and how long 504 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,600 Speaker 1: it took them to recover, you know, if at all, 505 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,080 Speaker 1: did you just jump back into work and things like 506 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,720 Speaker 1: that or did you take your time? And some moms 507 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 1: that we can turn to are circling back to those 508 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,840 Speaker 1: celebrity moms. I think people like Kristen Bell and Olivia 509 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: Wilde have some good perspective, including even Jennifer Love Hewitt, 510 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 1: who has been a victim of a whole lot of 511 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:19,240 Speaker 1: celebrity magazine taunting over the years. For instance, Hewett says, 512 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 1: you have to eat to feed your baby. She says, 513 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 1: you know, body sho's get you down. Sometimes I'm not 514 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: going to lie. I've had days where I'm like, Okay, 515 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 1: I wish this was easier, but it's not and that's okay. 516 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,479 Speaker 1: And Kristin Bell points out, Yeah, change is hard no 517 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,120 Speaker 1: matter what it is, especially when it's weight gained. But 518 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 1: you know, it's easy to focus on the negatives and 519 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,160 Speaker 1: completely disregard the fact that you're making another human. You're 520 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: participating in the most beautiful cycle that this earth will allow. 521 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 1: Who cares if you put on weight for a while. 522 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 1: And Olivia Wilde said, I don't want to waste my 523 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: time striving for some subjective definition of perfection in regard 524 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 1: to this drive to erase all what she calls physical 525 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 1: evidence of the child bearing experience. So, I mean, it's 526 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 1: it's great that you know, in a culture that also 527 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: celebrates and uplifts celebrities to the level of being role models, 528 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: that there are some celebrity mom role models out there 529 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 1: who are keeping it real and would like us to 530 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,760 Speaker 1: maybe keep it more real as well. So I definitely 531 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 1: want to hear from some people who have experienced this 532 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,600 Speaker 1: as well, or even been close observers partners of people 533 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: who have been pregnant. We want to hear from you 534 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: as well. Mom Stuff at how stuff works dot Com 535 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: is our email address. You can also tweet us at 536 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 1: mom stuff podcast or messages on Facebook. And we've got 537 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,320 Speaker 1: a couple of messages to share with you when we 538 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 1: come right back from a quick break. Well, I have 539 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 1: a letter here from tell Us about our episode on 540 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: social justice. She says, I, for one, do believe the 541 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 1: internet based activism is vital, especially now with so many 542 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,320 Speaker 1: causes to follow and with most of the world being 543 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,680 Speaker 1: connected to the web. As someone who actively participates in 544 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: Black Lives Matter activism and actions in New York, Twitter 545 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: was imperative. I used it to find locations of actions, 546 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: follow updates from when people took to the streets. As 547 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,960 Speaker 1: the group marches, someone is usually tweeting the cross streets, 548 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 1: and to boost reliable sources and people. The use of 549 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: Twitter and Facebook is also useful with the education based 550 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: activism that I'm involved in, which is based on abolishing 551 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: the education crisis that is a result of institutionalized racism, 552 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: the school to prison pipeline and the defunding of our 553 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 1: public schools no thanks to Governor Cuoma, we have a 554 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 1: lot of work to do. And finally, as a person 555 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 1: who is also active in non GMO anti mon Santo, 556 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,240 Speaker 1: anti big organic activism, social media is also useful to 557 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,640 Speaker 1: stay on top of legislation, brand buyouts, and brands to 558 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 1: support or boost. As these are my main campaigns that 559 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,960 Speaker 1: I personally work on in person and around on the web. 560 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,640 Speaker 1: I could never deal agitimize those who were unable to 561 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 1: get to the streets themselves. On the topic of political correctness, 562 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,400 Speaker 1: I do think it's gotten to a level of ridiculousness, 563 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: but I continue to express my feelings as I'm allowed 564 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,320 Speaker 1: to by being an American. I myself just always probe 565 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,600 Speaker 1: and question people about their opinions when I think they're 566 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,280 Speaker 1: being closed minded or passing microaggressions because some people honestly 567 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,920 Speaker 1: don't know because of their lifestyle. As a young, impoverished, feminist, 568 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,400 Speaker 1: bisexual woman of Irish and Caribbean descent, I have a 569 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 1: lot under my belt to ask people to check their 570 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 1: privilege about. But again, there's a fine line. So thanks 571 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 1: alas well. I gotta let her here from Jessica about 572 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,240 Speaker 1: our science fiction and social justice episode, and she writes, 573 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: I'm an English teacher and wrote my master's thesis on 574 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:49,080 Speaker 1: feminist dysk topic fiction, exploring futures where women's body's, sexuality 575 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,239 Speaker 1: and reproduction were the subject, if not the foundation of 576 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:56,799 Speaker 1: an authoritarian government's control. The Handmaid's Tale was mentioned in 577 00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,360 Speaker 1: your episode and was the key stone piece of my thesis. 578 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: More than that, though, the book completely changed my life. 579 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,080 Speaker 1: I was in the Navy when I first read it, 580 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 1: and in my early twenties trying to figure out what 581 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,359 Speaker 1: to do after my four years was up. A friend 582 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,200 Speaker 1: lent me the book, and after reading it, I knew 583 00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,359 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about it, think about it, write 584 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,000 Speaker 1: about books for a living. I wanted people to be 585 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 1: as inspired by literature as I was. That ended up 586 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 1: leading me to teaching, which is a profession I truly love. 587 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 1: I use science fiction and fantasy, as well as graphic 588 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: novels in my classes all the time. One of the 589 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,280 Speaker 1: most delightful things I've seen in some of my younger 590 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:34,200 Speaker 1: students is that through y a dystopic fiction, they're more 591 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 1: aware of who they are and what they want to 592 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 1: be now and as adults, these novels give them away 593 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,880 Speaker 1: to have a voice and an opinion on subjects of race, gender, class, 594 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 1: environmental protections, and governance which may seem otherwise too far removed. 595 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,239 Speaker 1: Reading about the possibility for change through the lens of 596 00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 1: disaster can really motivate an invested reader to action, and 597 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,279 Speaker 1: that to me is why the dystopias are so fascinating. 598 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 1: They aren't just about the disaster, they're about overcoming it. 599 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 1: This is such a great topic and I would love 600 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,760 Speaker 1: to see you do your summer reading episode on science fiction. 601 00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 1: A few suggestions from a specifically feminist perspective I would 602 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: add would be a Woman on the Edge of Time 603 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 1: by Marge Piercy and Walk to the End of the 604 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 1: World by Susie McKee Sharnas. Thanks so much for your 605 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 1: great show, and thanks for teaching Jessica, and also for 606 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: your great suggestions. And I gotta tell you listeners, we 607 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,880 Speaker 1: have been getting lots of request for us to do 608 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,600 Speaker 1: our summer reading episode on science fiction, so have your 609 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,880 Speaker 1: voices be known. Let us know and if you have 610 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 1: suggestions for books or authors in that genre you want 611 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,920 Speaker 1: us to talk about, please email us Mom Stuff at 612 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: how Stuffwork dot com is the address and blink so 613 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,320 Speaker 1: all of our social media as well as all of 614 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:51,120 Speaker 1: our blogs, videos and podcasts, including this one with our sources. 615 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,439 Speaker 1: So you can read more about the post pregnancy weight 616 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,919 Speaker 1: lost madness around us. Head on over to Stuff Mom 617 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:04,360 Speaker 1: Never Told You dot com. For more on this and 618 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:15,120 Speaker 1: thousands of other topics, visit how staff works dot com.