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Speaker 1: Our word this month on the Velvet Edge podcast is abandon,

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Speaker 1: and I shared this on the First Edge podcast this

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Speaker 1: month that the word abandon makes me think of a

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Speaker 1: recent lesson I've been learning in laying things down, or

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Speaker 1: letting things go, or walking away when things have served

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Speaker 1: their purpose and time in your life.

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Speaker 2: And they're just ready to be released.

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Speaker 1: I used to think that was like quitting, that a

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Speaker 1: mentality like that made me weak, so I would contort

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Speaker 1: and change and rearrange myself and my life to make

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Speaker 1: those things fit or to keep them. I now believe

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Speaker 1: that one of the bravest and most courageous things we

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Speaker 1: can do is walk away and move on to the

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Speaker 1: next evolution of our lives.

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Speaker 2: When we were.

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Speaker 1: Working on the guests this month, I could not stop

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Speaker 1: thinking about a former guest I interviewed last year, Ryan Hayden.

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Speaker 1: Ryan is a writer, speaker, coach, and hypnotist whose journey

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Speaker 1: inspires me almost daily. To me, Ryan's life is a

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Speaker 1: testament of abandoning the things that no longer served her,

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Speaker 1: the mentalities, the coping mechanisms, the addictions, the chaos. Now

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Speaker 1: her life is quite the opposite, and though I'm sure

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Speaker 1: the process was full of pain. I now look to

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Speaker 1: Ryan as an example of someone who has what I want.

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Speaker 1: That desire has nothing to do with anything that she

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Speaker 1: has on the outside, but from the inner piece and

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Speaker 1: clear relationship with herself and a higher power that I

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Speaker 1: find inspiring. Ryan shared lots of her wisdom from experience

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Speaker 1: with me in this conversation.

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Speaker 2: I hope you guys.

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Speaker 3: Enjoy conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. It's the

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Speaker 3: Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson Ryan Hadness here. She

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Speaker 3: is life and spiritual coach and a hypnotherapist, which I'm fascinated.

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Speaker 2: About, so we have to talk about that later.

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Speaker 1: You were a contributor at pooshe Mind, Body, You've done

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Speaker 1: all sorts of work and now you've opened your own

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Speaker 1: space called Sage and Sound. We're you're the programming director,

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Speaker 1: which I'm so excited to hear about that as well.

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Speaker 1: I was just telling you before we started though, that

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Speaker 1: our topic this month is gratitude. You know, we pick

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Speaker 1: a theme each month, and obviously with Thanksgiving, that is

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Speaker 1: a really, really spot on topic, and I guess I

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Speaker 1: would start with saying, is there some way in your

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Speaker 1: practice personal practice that you tie in gratitude on a

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Speaker 1: daily basis.

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Speaker 4: I think gratitude is a frequency, right, okay, And so

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Speaker 4: we want to step into that flow, that frequency of

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Speaker 4: good because when we're edging in gratitude, we kind of

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Speaker 4: view life from a different perspective. We have a more

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Speaker 4: optimistic perspective and more optimistic way of noting good that's

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Speaker 4: happening in real time. So I'm a big fan of

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Speaker 4: working gratitude in And I think that gratitude and fear

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Speaker 4: and more unfavorable emotions can coexist, just like we can

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Speaker 4: love and fear can coexist, or faith and fear, or

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Speaker 4: whoever it is. I think we can just edge in

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Speaker 4: these way in which we want to operate from, and

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Speaker 4: we don't bypass. You know, we talked about that a

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Speaker 4: little bit earlier, you and I about we don't want

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Speaker 4: that fake gratitude. Everything's so great under the surface, we're like,

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Speaker 4: you know, dying and THI dying inside. Like that is

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Speaker 4: over and we're not putting like a false, you know,

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Speaker 4: mask on top of what's true for us. But I

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Speaker 4: think we can acknowledge what's true for us. I feel

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Speaker 4: like shit, I'm really upset, I'm angry, But where can

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Speaker 4: I notice some good unfolding in this now moment? Where

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Speaker 4: is my cup of coffee was really hot? Someone held

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Speaker 4: the door for me. Yeah, that stranger just smiled at me.

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Speaker 4: It's it's really creating that practice of holding both things.

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Speaker 4: Both things are true, and that's when we get some

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Speaker 4: emotional maturity because we're we're not allowing one feeling to

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Speaker 4: run point in our entire life. We're not negating it,

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Speaker 4: We're just holding space for it. Yeah. And also, feelings

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Speaker 4: aren't facts, Like no one told me this as a kid.

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Speaker 4: Like for some reason, when I got you know, and

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Speaker 4: my self development path, it was always like what are

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Speaker 4: you feeling? What are you feeling? And putting all this

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Speaker 4: importance in what we're feeling. So yes, do that note

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Speaker 4: how you're feeling, because we have like thirty to sixty

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Speaker 4: thousand thoughts a day, And that's my hypnotherapist hat on,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 1: Because thirty to sixty thousand is that what you say?

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's what God and.

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Speaker 4: And they're all bubbling up from the subconscious.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So we have all those thoughts and they dictate a mood,

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Speaker 4: they dictate a feeling. Yeah, but they're also not that important.

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Speaker 4: And you know, it's where we stop and grab onto

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Speaker 4: a thought, and one thought comes on the screen, and

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Speaker 4: it's usually those habitual thoughts because they're like neural pathways

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Speaker 4: that have been etched in the mind, and they like

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Speaker 4: they find their little groove. So if it's for you,

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Speaker 4: you kelly with it for someone else, like nobody likes me, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: we likes me, So everything around you keeps calibrating to

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Speaker 4: that truth nobody likes me, so you start seeing it everywhere.

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Speaker 4: So anyway, I digress. There's a lot of different points

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Speaker 4: in what I just said, but truly, truly, we can

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Speaker 4: notice a thought and and we can still try to

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Speaker 4: move through it. See this is true for me right now,

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Speaker 4: I feel angry, and we can also start looking around,

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Speaker 4: like what good is unfolding in this time, in this

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Speaker 4: moment instead of allowing that just runaway train.

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Speaker 1: I love that because when I was reading about you,

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Speaker 1: one of the main things that jumped out to me

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Speaker 1: about your story was that it's not like you present

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Speaker 1: this perfect story of this perfect life, like you've had

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Speaker 1: great moments and you've had really hard moments from what

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Speaker 1: I read, And the bigger piece to me and that

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Speaker 1: the one that really resonates with me is that some

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Speaker 1: of your hardest moments, viewing from the outside, seem to

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Speaker 1: be the catalyst for you to really like grow and evolve.

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Speaker 1: And so looking back, I would imagine there is a

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Speaker 1: sense of gratitude and just like you're saying, you had

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Speaker 1: that like matching feeling of you know, I'm sure those

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Speaker 1: were like very painful.

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Speaker 2: Very sad, very hard. There's a lot of anger, all

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Speaker 2: of the emotions.

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Speaker 1: And now you're like, oh wow, if without that, I

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Speaker 1: could never be where I am.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, right, I mean that's true. Oh yeah, yeah, And

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Speaker 4: that's true for all of us. I think any good

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Speaker 4: practitioner or healer or coach or therapist has. If you're

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Speaker 4: holding space for someone, you have to have walked through

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Speaker 4: the yeah, on the hot coals yourself in some ways.

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Speaker 4: You have to be a way shower, you know, or

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Speaker 4: a light bearer. And that gets into the woolu portion

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Speaker 4: of this. I sure there'll be more. I think you

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Speaker 4: can't hold space for someone else's shadow or darkness truly, truly, truly,

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Speaker 4: I mean, and I can get it through textbooks, but

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Speaker 4: I don't know that people trust that you have you

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Speaker 4: can hold that experience, the depth of that and so

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Speaker 4: I definitely feel it's my privilege and my honor to

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Speaker 4: be able to be one of those people in this time,

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Speaker 4: in this very pivotal time on our planet. And I

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Speaker 4: definitely have been to the dark places. Yeah, I am

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Speaker 4: this week, I have nineteen years in recovery.

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Speaker 2: Wow, congrass, thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 4: Yes. What that means is it just means that nineteen

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Speaker 4: years ago a window of grace opened and I crawled

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Speaker 4: through it because I really truly think that it was

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Speaker 4: a miracle. There was one way, and I could not

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Speaker 4: get out of that darkness. I could not. I couldn't

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Speaker 4: leverage it. I couldn't think my way out of it,

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Speaker 4: I couldn't act my way out of it. It was

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Speaker 4: really truly the depths, the dark night of the soul.

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Speaker 4: And I was in a relationship that was also very dramatic,

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Speaker 4: and so it was that's what happens when two people

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Speaker 4: are in their their cups, and it was, you know,

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Speaker 4: just really hard to see your way out of. And then,

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Speaker 4: like I said, this window of grace open. I don't

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Speaker 4: know why it was just my time. I don't know

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Speaker 4: if it was.

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Speaker 5: Because I had some kic loopholes that I had built

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Speaker 5: up in some karmic you know, bank currency.

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Speaker 4: But it was my time to walk into a new

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Speaker 4: lifestyle and someone way Shower showed me the way this is,

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Speaker 4: try this, And for me it was a program. It

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Speaker 4: was a new blueprint that I could work off of,

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Speaker 4: and I didn't have a blueprint. I felt like I

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Speaker 4: was doing the best I could with the tools I had,

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Speaker 4: which I was using adult tools, and I was using

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Speaker 4: a hammer instead of a screwdriver, and I was I

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Speaker 4: had really no tools. My best thinking got me to

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Speaker 4: that place in my life, and I thought it was

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Speaker 4: about all the outside things, and boy did I do that.

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Speaker 4: I got all the all the people, places and things,

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Speaker 4: and it still couldn't save me from myself.

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Speaker 2: God isn't that I was a thing?

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Speaker 3: Though?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: We always that's the goal of I feel like what

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Speaker 1: society preaches us that or teaches us that life should

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Speaker 1: be is like get the things, get the relationship, get

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Speaker 1: the money, get the status, get whatever it is that

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Speaker 1: looks pretty on the outside. But just like what you

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Speaker 1: were saying earlier, like if the inside doesn't match, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have a problem.

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Speaker 4: You're gonna blow it up, blow You're gonna feel are

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Speaker 4: they Yes? And I thought that it was in mothering.

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Speaker 4: I thought it was in wifing, and I thought it

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Speaker 4: was in red carpeting, and I thought it was in

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Speaker 4: all these other places that we hold up. But truly,

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Speaker 4: I was looking for that relationship with myself. And I

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Speaker 4: know that sounds corny, but I wanted that feeling of

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Speaker 4: connection and I didn't know I've been misled to believe.

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Speaker 4: And I bought it. Yeah, ye, that it was out

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Speaker 4: there and I could just grab onto it. And so

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Speaker 4: I was this greedy, hungry, piggy little girl who was

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Speaker 4: pretending to be an adult and just more more more,

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Speaker 4: I was insatiable. And you really push up against the

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Speaker 4: wall fast when you do that. And I'm so glad

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Speaker 4: that my descent was swift and it was quick, and

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Speaker 4: it was public and it was it really was like

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Speaker 4: this isn't working. Yeah, And so I know there's another

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Speaker 4: window graces. The timing it was, it was a short

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Speaker 4: and tense period of time, and I'm so glad that

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Speaker 4: I crawled through that window of grace. And I do

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Speaker 4: want to say, like I look back on that version

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Speaker 4: of me that almost nine twenty years ago, I guess

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Speaker 4: nineteen years ago, and I like, I love that girl.

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Speaker 4: I love her desperateness, I love all of her. I

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Speaker 4: love her scrappiness, I love her grasping. You know, I've

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Speaker 4: folded her into who I am, and it's I teach

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Speaker 4: from that place of knowing her intimately, just like we

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Speaker 4: talk a lot about the inner child, and we talk

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Speaker 4: a lot about the subconscious. We talk all these aspects

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Speaker 4: of who we are, and this is an aspect of

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Speaker 4: who I am. And I'm not running from her. You know.

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Speaker 4: In my early days of recovery, it was like trying

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Speaker 4: to put as much space between her as possible.

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Speaker 2: We all had that.

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Speaker 4: I want nothing to do with her. Yeah, ahole, she

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Speaker 4: wants to destroy everything. And that was probably true, so

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Speaker 4: that running. But then you stop and you're like, oh Jesus,

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Speaker 4: she's still in there, and that's still that voice. It's

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Speaker 4: like more more, please? Can I have more? Like it's

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Speaker 4: and I know it's her and so and she's dear

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Speaker 4: and sweet and all those good things, and so I

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Speaker 4: have her under you know, I just fold. She just

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Speaker 4: folds into who I am, you know. But I'm so

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Speaker 4: grateful that I've had that experience. I'm so grateful that

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Speaker 4: I burned everything to the ground that way. I mean,

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Speaker 4: I didn't do that on purpose, but that's what hoppured,

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Speaker 4: and from there I could build something else that was solid. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: truly was meaningful. And then in turn, you know, for

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Speaker 4: the rest of my life, what I'm doing one day

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Speaker 4: at a time is really just turning around and offering

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Speaker 4: that back up to someone else. You know, in the

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Speaker 4: beginning I worked with women, was only women, and I

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Speaker 4: still mostly gravitate to women in my practice. And but

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Speaker 4: what a gift, what an honor? Truly, I've said that

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Speaker 4: a few times, but it's true. It really is like

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Speaker 4: what could be? And part of why I burnt out

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Speaker 4: because I was looking for purpose and I couldn't find it,

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Speaker 4: and I couldn't find my purpose. And I knew I

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Speaker 4: had this grand per and I'm I'm fully in it now.

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Speaker 4: But it's so fantastic that purpose came through that dark

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Speaker 4: night of this whole.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I love referring to it as a window of grace

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Speaker 1: that you walked through like that, because again that takes

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Speaker 1: away I think when something is painful, my brain immediately

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Speaker 1: wants to deem it as bad, and it's like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable, but all the emotions in this world are

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Speaker 1: actually for a purpose, I believe, and it's just like,

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Speaker 1: what is it bringing to your attention? And like your

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Speaker 1: work now, I mean you're the spiritual life coach and

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Speaker 1: you know, relationship expert, and like you were saying earlier,

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Speaker 1: if I'm going to someone and I'm like they're saying

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Speaker 1: to me, hey, it's going to be okay, I want

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Speaker 1: to know that they walked through that first and they're okay.

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Speaker 1: Like to see someone else and go, I want what

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Speaker 1: she has because I know she's been down here too.

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Speaker 1: To me, that speaks volumes like that is the thing

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Speaker 1: that draws me in every time. So I want to

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Speaker 1: talk a little bit about relationships because something else you

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Speaker 1: touched on was just the relationship with ourselves and a

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Speaker 1: love where you're mentioning the part about in all of

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Speaker 1: the stuff, like you were looking outside of yourself for

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Speaker 1: all the things. And yes it could sound cheesy for

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Speaker 1: us to say, like but always it was within myself,

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Speaker 1: but it is the truth.

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Speaker 4: The Wizard of Oz had it right.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So how important you know if I'm having you

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Speaker 1: put on your relationship hat here a little bit because

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Speaker 1: I want to talk through some of the stuff that

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Speaker 1: you work with people on. How important would you say

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Speaker 1: the relationship to ourselves is to our relationship with others?

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Speaker 4: Oh, it's everything. It dictates the quality of our relationships.

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Speaker 4: I mean, how do you feel about yourself? Is what

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Speaker 4: you're calling in. And that's not just say that. I

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Speaker 4: haven't had angels show up on my timeline of human

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Speaker 4: beings who loved me because I couldn't love myself yet,

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Speaker 4: so that has happened also, that's also true, okay, But

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Speaker 4: I do feel like our perception of what we're worthy

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Speaker 4: of and the degree to which we allow love in

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Speaker 4: and we allow love to flow out, it is certainly

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Speaker 4: dictated by the inner stability that we have. So you know,

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Speaker 4: we can be someone who gives out a lot, so

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Speaker 4: you know that flow can be imbalanced because we're seeking

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Speaker 4: love through someone else by our giving, and it's really

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Speaker 4: holding and trying to control and manage that relationship. But

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Speaker 4: when you don't have to do that anymore, can you

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Speaker 4: imagine the freedom and you really just trust everyone's coming

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Speaker 4: and going. Like I have four kids, there are all

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Speaker 4: different stages of growth. They're coming and going. You know, relationship,

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Speaker 4: I'm married now, I deeply trust our relationships move and

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Speaker 4: how they're organic. That's not to say I'm not going

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Speaker 4: to fight like hell and I'm not going to work

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Speaker 4: my hardest to be my best within that. But I

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Speaker 4: also just trust the ebb and flow of things, so

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Speaker 4: I'm not holding tight to anything. That's what it feels like,

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Speaker 4: and it feels like fucking freedom is what it feels like.

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Speaker 4: Because I can tell you that there were a few

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Speaker 4: relationships in the span of my in between my marriages

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Speaker 4: where I was working this out, and those were my

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Speaker 4: greatest teachers, those relationships that have in the dating period

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Speaker 4: of time, because I wasn't ready for my relationship with

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Speaker 4: my husband that I have. Now E've been there fifteen years,

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Speaker 4: and longevity is not a gauge of success. I just

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Speaker 4: want to say that we've all known couples that have

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Speaker 4: been together two decades and you're like, it's time.

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Speaker 2: Yesparage, this is a ship show.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's not about who stays together the longest, twins.

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Speaker 4: I think it's about who's using tools okay within the

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Speaker 4: partnership and like putting the lens back on yourself within

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Speaker 4: partnership because we're mirroring to each other all the time

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Speaker 4: and that's when it gets really interesting. So when you're

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Speaker 4: seeing yourself focusing on their behaviors, what they're doing, what

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Speaker 4: they're thinking, what they're saying. If I could just get

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Speaker 4: them to do this, you've lost the plot right not

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Speaker 4: to say that we can't share any and once when

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Speaker 4: you do this, I feel, this's like we want to

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Speaker 4: stand up for ourselves and we want to set boundaries

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Speaker 4: with behavior and things like that. And obviously, if you're

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Speaker 4: in a you know, relationship that's not feeding you and

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Speaker 4: sustaining you in some way, the fuck out, you know

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Speaker 4: it's time to leave. I don't even know if we

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Speaker 4: can swear here, but I'm in, yes, okay, thank you.

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Speaker 4: It's time to leave, right if it's not working and

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Speaker 4: you've and the person is not hearing you listening all

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Speaker 4: those other things, and you may be pulled in the

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Speaker 4: third party, or there's behaviors that are unacceptable. I have

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Speaker 4: to say that, just as like Caviat like stop working,

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Speaker 4: you're working too hard. It's not going to happen because

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Speaker 4: we can only do so much and everyone gets to

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Speaker 4: be how they want to be, but we get to

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Speaker 4: decide who we want to be in relation to that

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Speaker 4: insanity or not right. So there's that. But I think

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Speaker 4: going back to those relationships, I was in these emotionally

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Speaker 4: unavailable relationships and I look like the like the most

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Speaker 4: amazing person in those partnerships because I was like, I'm

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Speaker 4: so loving, I'm just holding space for you whenever you're

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Speaker 4: ready step into this level. And they were like running

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Speaker 4: away and they're you know, it's like I look like

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Speaker 4: the hero. But really what shifted it when I realized

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Speaker 4: is how am I emotionally unavailable to myself? How am

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Speaker 4: I afraid to show up in partnership fully? Because I

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Speaker 4: keep calling in these people. And that's when you get

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Speaker 4: talking about the subconscious. We call in where we need

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Speaker 4: to heal. We call in the partner that helps us

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Speaker 4: to heal that part of ourselves that's still in shadow.

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Speaker 4: This sounds like a lot of gobblety goop, but I

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Speaker 4: can tell you that boots on the ground. When you

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Speaker 4: get that, you're like, oh my god, not them, is me.

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Speaker 4: It's totally me, And I'm creating all of this, yes,

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Speaker 4: so that I can heal. We're like this incredible self

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Speaker 4: healing mechanism, and our subconscious is like managing you could

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Speaker 4: call it the higher self. You could call the subconscious.

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Speaker 4: You know, the subconscious gets a lot of a bad rap,

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Speaker 4: and it's truly moving us into alignment when we start

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Speaker 4: paying attention. So those compulsive behaviors, those patterning, it's about

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Speaker 4: where are the places where you haven't shown the spotlight yet?

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Speaker 4: It's you, sister, like it's you calling this in to highlight.

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Speaker 4: Yet again there's a place here that needs some attention.

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Speaker 4: And so again you're in this deep partnership with yourself

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Speaker 4: where you realize that you're not You think it's the guy.

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Speaker 4: You think it's about getting married, you think, what's having

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Speaker 4: all these other externals that you mentioned before, But it's

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Speaker 4: really about creating these contexts to keep knowing you, to

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Speaker 4: keep expressing more love. And I this mentor that would

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Speaker 4: say to me, how much more can you love yourself

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Speaker 4: right now? With the shit that's going on? And there

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Speaker 4: was always that question, and that would like laser into

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Speaker 4: the story that I was telling myself or that narrative,

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Speaker 4: and I'd be like, oh, yeah, how much more love

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Speaker 4: can I grive to myself? And that would look different

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Speaker 4: at each time. What do I need? That's a novel

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Speaker 4: thing to ask, what do I need?

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Speaker 1: Right now isn't that crazy? That that is the like

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Speaker 1: sometimes the last thing that would ever come to my brain.

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Speaker 4: Total to think about, right, because we're reparenting, right, and

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Speaker 4: that's like, what do you need? You'd say that to

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Speaker 4: your che what do you need right now? It's going

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Speaker 4: on for you, right, It's here really a sat like

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Speaker 4: speaking to yourself in that way. No one's going to

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Speaker 4: do that work. There is no rescue party, no one,

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Speaker 4: no therapist like it's this is when it's just you

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Speaker 4: and your mind, you and your willingness and to get curious,

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Speaker 4: what do you need right now? How can I show

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Speaker 4: up for you? And it sounds selfish because it's me

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Speaker 4: and me me, but ultimately you can't show up and

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Speaker 4: you're not giving from overflow if you're not asking those

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Speaker 4: questions right and tending and tending to that, you know,

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Speaker 4: and asking, listening for the answers and then tending to it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: The mirroring piece of relationships is something that I've it's

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Speaker 1: just been brought into my awareness this past year where

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Speaker 1: I really got it, like I've heard it, but I

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Speaker 1: couldn't quite grasp what that meant. And so it's interesting

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Speaker 1: now though, because it kind of is like you can't

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Speaker 1: actually just bitch about your ex or whatever, like oh,

392
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Speaker 1: he's such an asshole, because it's like, yeah, but you

393
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Speaker 1: still brought him in, so like what was that like?

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Speaker 1: But just having to take that responsibility in and of itself,

395
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Speaker 1: it kind of takes away the like it's not glamorous

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Speaker 1: to bitch about our excess, but like you have to

397
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Speaker 1: face yourself too, and that, to me is such an

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Speaker 1: interesting switch. Like I've started dating now again after a

399
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Speaker 1: year off, and it's so interesting going in with that

400
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Speaker 1: mentality of like why the people that are coming in

401
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Speaker 1: are coming in and also just looking at I love

402
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Speaker 1: that you mentioned the part about how unavailable.

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Speaker 2: We are to ourselves, Like if.

404
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Speaker 1: You're bringing in an unavailable partner, there's a part of

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Speaker 1: you that's unavailable too. And I just couldn't get that

406
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Speaker 1: for a long time because as you have described, like

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Speaker 1: I was a giver and you know, like I thought

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Speaker 1: I was showing up so much in relationship, but I

409
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Speaker 1: wasn't showing up for me at all, Like it was

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Speaker 1: all looking for it outside. Can you talk a little

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Speaker 1: bit about that, like how do we show up for

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Speaker 1: ourselves more?

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Speaker 4: I love everything you just said. I think that's beautifully said.

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Speaker 4: I don't know thank you to add to that. It's

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Speaker 4: a process, it's just yeah. I think the first thing

416
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Speaker 4: is that paradigm shift of it's me, okay, it's me

417
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Speaker 4: showing up in all these partnerships, these things getting reflected back,

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Speaker 4: and then taking it one step further than that, it's

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Speaker 4: why is this here for me? What is this here

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Speaker 4: to show me? So it's that curiosity and then just

421
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Speaker 4: sticking with it. You know, it's not going to happen overnight,

422
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Speaker 4: but I think a lot of times, and here's the

423
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Speaker 4: therapy portion of it. We're working out our primary caregivers.

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Speaker 4: It's not sexy. It's not sexy. Covered outright it is.

425
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Speaker 4: It's all projection, So what part needs healing? And once

426
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Speaker 4: you close those loops, then you start feeling attracted to

427
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 4: different types and so this like I never I don't

428
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Speaker 4: trust the when the sees part and you see someone

429
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Speaker 4: across the room, No, that's just your subconscious and they're

430
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Speaker 4: subconscious to just I mean, there are twin flames and

431
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,360
Speaker 4: soul you know, soulmates and things like that, but let's

432
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Speaker 4: keep it super real. It's rare. Twin flames are rare.

433
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 4: It's become this like it means that two souls are split.

434
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 4: It's just it's not. It's not. And we've just made

435
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 4: it like it's for not give as much win flame. Yeah,

436
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 4: it's not. And I don't actually subscribe to that. You

437
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:21,640
Speaker 4: complete me.

438
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: Oh god, now to me that they're the unhealthiest mentality,

439
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

440
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 4: And you can feel that feeling when you're aligned with someone,

441
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,199
Speaker 4: and but it's like two holes come together and you know,

442
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 4: And so I think we're really we're really pushing against

443
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 4: programming because the matrix that we live in is all

444
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 4: about that. You know, it's all about I'm lost and

445
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 4: and then you found me and then you know, and

446
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 4: this trauma and the real Housewives of it all. It

447
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 4: looks like this, and women relate to each other this way,

448
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 4: and relationships not a relationship until there's like shit flying,

449
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 4: and like that's just when you start to shift the

450
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 4: frequency of that. But just being able to sit in

451
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 4: silence with someone, of just being able to be to

452
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 4: really delight in who you are when you're with someone,

453
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 4: and noticing how you feel and how you feel more

454
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,160
Speaker 4: whole within yourself when you're with them, Like those are

455
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:25,360
Speaker 4: things like you can start breathing life into that's when

456
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 4: you know you're onto something good.

457
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, how do we Like, you've talked a lot about

458
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 1: the subconscious, and I know that's a lot. I mean

459
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: that's what hypnosis is really addressing, right, I mean.

460
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:37,239
Speaker 2: Your work with it.

461
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 4: It's one modality.

462
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So can you what I think I've heard

463
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 1: you say in another interview that something in the ninety

464
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 1: like ninety five percent of our thoughts are coming from

465
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: our subconscious?

466
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 2: Is that right?

467
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 4: Like ninety five percent? I mean people say ninety or

468
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 4: ninety five, but yeah, it's in that.

469
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 1: I mean that is the majority of our thoughts and

470
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,919
Speaker 1: we're just walking around completely unaware.

471
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: Is that? Okay?

472
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 1: Can you explain this to me? Because I just don't,

473
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: Like I'm starting to get it. And then the more

474
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: I'm addressing the like the mirroring and what I'm bringing in,

475
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: like it is clicking. But how do we know? Like

476
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: how can we trust ourselves? Then? Because it's like, what

477
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: part is this old programming that I'm that's driving the

478
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 1: bus of my life? And then what is actually where

479
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: I need to be? And like I'm in alignment with myself?

480
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: Like how do we know.

481
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 4: This is a great question. I think when you have

482
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 4: repetitive thoughts and patterning, and it's safe to say that

483
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 4: that's the subconscious. Okay, that's like rerouting thing. That is

484
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 4: just so just noticing that, Like where what are phrases

485
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 4: that you say to yourself? Is what I'll work when

486
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 4: I'm working with a client, I'll be like, what are

487
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 4: repetitive phrases for you? What are beliefs that you have

488
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 4: that you like, it's just stuff you've picked up from childhood.

489
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,719
Speaker 4: I mean, we are in this and this is the

490
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 4: part where I'm going to explain the different brainwave activities. Yeah,

491
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,639
Speaker 4: it's the science part of this, and it's not just

492
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 4: bear with me. So we're in this beta state right now.

493
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 4: It's really about output. So the brain's moving really quickly

494
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,719
Speaker 4: and these beta waves. Below that's alpha, which is kind

495
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 4: of when we space out when we drive from A

496
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 4: to B and we don't remember how we got there.

497
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 4: We're kind of in alpha. Most times when we go

498
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 4: into meditation, we're in alpha. Below that's theta. Theta is

499
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 4: the magic state where the subconscious is in play, and

500
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 4: then below that is delta. So the brainwave activity just

501
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 4: gets slower and slower and slower. Yeah, so when you

502
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 4: go to sleep at night, you're in delta delta sleep.

503
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 4: Theta is what we drop into when we do hypnosis.

504
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 4: So a great hypnotherapist will drop you into that Theta

505
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 4: state and from there they will upload these new ideas

506
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 4: you have around something okay, like I can attract abundance,

507
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 4: that I am in flow, Oh, that I love myself,

508
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:06,439
Speaker 4: that I can release this harmful way of coping smoking addictions.

509
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 4: Like this is where they'll drop you into the magic

510
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 4: data state and this in the brain way of activity

511
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 4: state that is receptive to new ideas. So context from

512
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 4: the ages of zero to seven, we're in theata. Oh

513
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 4: so yep, we're little sponges. We're just walking around in

514
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 4: data state and after seven we pop out. Then we're

515
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 4: going through these different bringway back to the states. You

516
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 4: can imagine. It makes sense. You land in a human body,

517
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 4: your soul, and you're like, what do I need to

518
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 4: notice survive? Mm right, So you're picking up picking up,

519
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 4: and you're reading what love is, what success is, what

520
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 4: safety feels like, what abundance feels like?

521
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: Just rocked my world. Sorry, that's from zero to seven.

522
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: That doesn't make my whole life makes sense.

523
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 2: Okay, oh goes my life.

524
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,959
Speaker 4: So anything you've picked up from your parents about it,

525
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 4: ideas around money and love and stability and security and

526
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 4: sense of self mm hm would have been through those times.

527
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 4: So it's really easy to if you can go back

528
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 4: to what your parents said during those times and remembering

529
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 4: phrases money doesn't ruin, treats whatever. Those those little phrases,

530
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 4: those are the things that are running your life under there.

531
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 4: Those have been put into the database. That's your hard drive.

532
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 4: It's been wired now, and that's why people feel this helplessness,

533
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 4: this this powerlessness sometimes around their best thinking, their conscious

534
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 4: mind that says, I want this to be different, but

535
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 4: then the subconscious keeps rerouting to that true north of

536
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 4: what it's what's in the hard drive. Yeah, that makes

537
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 4: it frustrating. Sense, Yeah, it is frustrating. But my friends

538
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 4: are getting frustrated with me because like when I talk

539
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 4: about this dating stuff, you know, one of the narratives

540
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 4: amongst my friend Graupe, but I think this is a

541
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 4: lot of women in general, is there are no good

542
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 4: men out there, Like I don't know if you've heard

543
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 4: you know, and oh yeah, and I've lived that way.

544
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 4: That's spent probably my last decade living in that mentality.

545
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 4: And what do you know, all I brought in were

546
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 4: men who validated that narrative, you know, over and over,

547
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 4: and I.

548
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 2: Was just like, see there it is.

549
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 1: It's like, but of course our brains are amazing and

550
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 1: that they will keep doing that. So if we believe that,

551
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: then yes, we're going to pull something in that makes

552
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 1: that true. And so what I've been trying to say

553
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 1: is it's kind of what you were saying about the

554
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: abundance place. Like I come from a place of abundance,

555
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 1: Like love is abundant. There is a scarcity like amount

556
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: of love in this world, you know, like there are

557
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: amazing there's multiple relationships for me, and like whatever I'm

558
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: supposed to be in right now is here to teach

559
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: me something. And like that shift has completely changed dating

560
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: for me, like completely, and it's taken away so much

561
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: of that power go ahead so much.

562
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I was gonna say, quick life hack.

563
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 4: If someone says something like that and you can feel

564
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 4: that it has torque to it, yeah, cancel, cancel, cancel.

565
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 2: Okay, so my brain doesn't yeah, cancel.

566
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 4: Cancel cancer though, Okay, Yeah, And then you can affirm

567
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 4: something to yourself, say my person is making their way

568
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 4: to me, and I'm making my way to them. Yeah,

569
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 4: and I can't wait. The subconscious loves expectation, loves hope.

570
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 4: So you can say, I can't wait to meet my person. Yeah,

571
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 4: I can't wait to step into this flow of love

572
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 4: that's on its way to me. Things like that. Find

573
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 4: your phrasing that that's true to you, because there are

574
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 4: things that I would say to myself because I was

575
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 4: dating in Los Angeles, which is a really small pool,

576
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 4: and it's all about age. Oh yeah, position, you know

577
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 4: all those things, status, youth, yeah said age. Yeah, I can't.

578
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 4: I can't say that enough. And I had, you know,

579
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 4: I was just people would say to me, you have

580
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 4: two kids and you're thirty. I was such a baby.

581
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 4: I was like thirty thirty three years old, just to

582
00:29:55,080 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 4: tell you now fifty. So yeah, I think I think

583
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 4: those things are just these are little ways to disengage

584
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 4: from these beliefs that keep getting perpetuated, you know, And

585
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 4: there is enough and we find each other and there's

586
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 4: a lid for every pot. So I want used to

587
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 4: say that to you. But I love that, and so

588
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 4: you know, if your person isn't showing up just saying

589
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 4: he's getting ready for me. They're getting ready for me.

590
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 4: I'm getting ready for them. They're getting ready for me.

591
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 4: You know we're not ready yet. Yeah, and so, and

592
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 4: this is a beautiful thing because it's like I can

593
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 4: have fun in between, don't need to do shit. All

594
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 4: I have to do is just keep focusing on my

595
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 4: own healing, getting curious about where I'm at, trying to

596
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 4: close loops, noticing patterning, just gently softly. We can't catch

597
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 4: sixty thousand thoughts, but we can notice a mood that

598
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 4: we have, a feeling that we have. Oh what was

599
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 4: I just thinking that created this thought and mood? Yeah,

600
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 4: and then backtracking and say is that true? Yeah, and

601
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 4: just parceling through. And I can tell you that that

602
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 4: work is so precious, It is so dear, And you

603
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 4: can have people light the path. And I've had so

604
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 4: many great mentors littering my path along the way, and

605
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 4: I've had a lot of been very fortunate that way.

606
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 4: But when it comes to this again and again, it's

607
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 4: about this work that you do with yourself, this gentle,

608
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 4: loving lens that you keep bringing to everything and repatterning

609
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 4: the subconscious. You don't have to change it and shift

610
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 4: it and like you know, away from the eye, like

611
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 4: you don't do that. It's just gentle, it's just loving.

612
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 4: And so I just want to go back to one more.

613
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 4: I like to put tools in people's hands. When you

614
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 4: go to sleep at night, when you're going through these

615
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 4: states that I talked about, from beta, alpha, theta into

616
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 4: delta sleep, that is the time to repeat those affirmations.

617
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 4: That is the time to program. You don't need a

618
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 4: subconscious specialist. I'm giving you these these little tools now.

619
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 4: When you're going to sleep, that is the time to

620
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 4: say your affirmations. That is the time to reprogram your

621
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 4: own subconscious mind, because only you can really do that.

622
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 4: It's the degree all hypnosis is self hypnosis. It's the

623
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 4: degree that you allow it. You know, people think you.

624
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 2: Talk about that, what do you mean? It's the degree

625
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 2: we allow it.

626
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 4: Because I'll have clients commit it's to the degree that

627
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 4: they allow themselves to drop into it's their suggestibility. It's

628
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 4: the degree to which they allow themselves to drop into

629
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 4: that data state. So I can navigate, and I have

630
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 4: different ways of doing that, I have different power techniques.

631
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 4: Whatever that is that I learned and that you know

632
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 4: I use, and I also have the tool of my

633
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,479
Speaker 4: voice and those sorts of things. But at the end

634
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 4: of the day, it's the degree to which someone is willing,

635
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 4: and so you are your own best healer. You can

636
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 4: use be deliberate and conscious and mindful about when you

637
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 4: want to drop into this data state, and you can

638
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 4: do it through breath, you can do it through intention.

639
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 4: You're taking three deep breaths and then just counting from

640
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 4: ten down to one in your waking state, that will

641
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 4: drop you into alpha data and then from there to

642
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 4: your affirmations. From there set your intention. But the most

643
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 4: potent times when you're falling asleep, because you definitely have

644
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 4: to move through that state to get into sleep. So

645
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 4: instead what we do is our head hits the pillow

646
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 4: and we're like worrying, thinking about the day tomorrow, how

647
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:13,719
Speaker 4: the day didn't go well. So I would say, keep

648
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,719
Speaker 4: a little journal next to your bed, write out all

649
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 4: the thoughts, get them all out, just let them just

650
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 4: find their way out on paper. And then you talked

651
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 4: about gratitude at the top of this and the theme,

652
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 4: so I would write ten gratitudes. Okay, upledge your frequency up,

653
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 4: level your frequency right, ten things you're grateful for for

654
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 4: the day, and then then you're really setting a tone

655
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 4: for the subconscious as you're going to sleep into that

656
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 4: theta you're in that frequency of good, that frequency of abundance,

657
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 4: because that's what gratitude is. Yeah, and so then you're

658
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 4: going to sleep with that top of mind.

659
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: Okay. I love that you said that the subconscious loves hope,

660
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 1: because I mean, that actually makes so much sense to me.

661
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 1: But I do think specifically we're keeping on the dating topic,

662
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: like that is one of the hard parts of dating,

663
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: right you get excited and then it doesn't work out,

664
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 1: and I think that we're so conditioned to again think

665
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 1: that's a failure or like why why am I not

666
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: meeting this person or whatever? And one of the things

667
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 1: that's really helped me lately is doing exactly what you're saying,

668
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,760
Speaker 1: Like it's just like if something happens and it doesn't

669
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: work out, I'm like the universe is protecting me, Like

670
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: rejection is your biggest protection, you know kind of thing,

671
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 1: and like and also is what am I feeling right now?

672
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: A lot of times I'm just lonely and it's like, Okay,

673
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: but I'm again not talking to myself. I'm having I

674
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,240
Speaker 1: have no connection to myself, and most of the time

675
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 1: I can satisfy that pretty quickly if I actually just

676
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 1: even address like, oh, I'm sorry you're lonely. It's like

677
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: no one else is really going to fully be able

678
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 1: to give me that ever. I mean, I've been in

679
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,800
Speaker 1: relationships and felt that, so I know that to be true.

680
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 1: But why does the subconscious like hope, can you tell

681
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: me a little bit more about that?

682
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 4: Because it's always calculating, it's trying to you know, it's

683
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,720
Speaker 4: trying to it's rerouting to keep you safe. It really

684
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 4: runs the autonomic nervous system. So that's the technical piece,

685
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 4: and so it's fight and flight, you know, fear is

686
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 4: all of those things. So yeah, it's always scanning, it's

687
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 4: always looking, and so when we usually were like thinking

688
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 4: fearful thoughts like this isn't you know if I do this?

689
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 4: And so it's how it can manage, you know, when

690
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,399
Speaker 4: you're trying to get out ahead of something, you can

691
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 4: think the worst so that you can keep your expectations

692
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 4: that way. So and doing that by just constantly like

693
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 4: you're doing. I love how you're reframing and just saying

694
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 4: rejection is God's protection or the universe is protection, right,

695
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 4: and you're just trusting that it's always rerouting for you.

696
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 4: I think the subconscious wants to please us. It wants,

697
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 4: you know, if it had its own quality to it.

698
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 4: It's trying to be faithful based on programming, and so

699
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 4: it really is, you know, I know, it's very moving.

700
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 4: It really is of how we are, this self healing mechanism,

701
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 4: and it's all working for us to move us into

702
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 4: alignment to heal. And so let's just keep feeding it

703
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 4: and nurturing it and giving it things that to chew

704
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 4: on that are actually beneficial other than letting it be unfortunately,

705
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 4: word is unconscious and it's just a runaway train moving

706
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 4: led by the senses. And then that's where you pick

707
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,839
Speaker 4: up bad habits. And see the about nail biting. Let's

708
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 4: use that like someone somehow someone put their finger in

709
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 4: their mouth. They felt a little nail between their teeth.

710
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 4: They've heard that click, and they felt this release of stress,

711
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 4: and so the subconscious took note of that. The subconscious

712
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 4: took note of that that first time and said, oh wow,

713
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 4: this works for her, Oh my God, And then you

714
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 4: find yourself putting your fingers in your own and overrides

715
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 4: the conscious mind, you see. So then you're doing that

716
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 4: and you want you're chasing that first feeling of relief.

717
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 4: That's what happens with the drinker they had that first drink. Yeah,

718
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 4: that's why it's housed in the subconscious. Yeah, because it

719
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,479
Speaker 4: the same thing you took that first drink. You felt

720
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 4: that click, that click, and so people always say, I'm chase,

721
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 4: was chasing that first drunk that first time where I

722
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,319
Speaker 4: felt that buzz. And it's just like it never is

723
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 4: going to be as good as that first time ever. Right,

724
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 4: It's like this exercise in futility in the bottom keeps

725
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 4: dropping lower and lower. It really is this this insane

726
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 4: chase for that first buzz that happened, and the subconscious

727
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 4: had recorded that, and so it's like this is good

728
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 4: for her. Yeah, it wants to please you. So we

729
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 4: just want to keep uploading more positive experiences. And so

730
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 4: when good things happen, say this is good, take note

731
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 4: of this. This is good. When you have a moment

732
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 4: of love with someone, maybe you've had an intimate moment

733
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 4: with them, or maybe just say more of this, please,

734
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 4: more of this, please. You are such a master creator,

735
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 4: you Kelly. Everybody listening like, know your power, step into

736
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 4: your power, my god, stop outsourcing it. We're an incredible mechanism.

737
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 4: It's all available to you. Just pick up more tools

738
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 4: to manage. That's all that's really. It's about self soothing.

739
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 4: And I teach a class here at s Agent Sound

740
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 4: called the Tools, and it's an express class, and I

741
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 4: love that because I just want to put tools in

742
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 4: people's hands, so not everyone wants to sit in a

743
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 4: breath work class or meditation. Will offer all those things

744
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 4: sound experiences, but just give me tools in my hands

745
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 4: so I can figure out ways to self regulate, because

746
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 4: that's everything. When I can do that, then I have

747
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 4: some I have a shot at self mastery. And if

748
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 4: you don't know, it's going to be in the bottom

749
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 4: of a bottle. It's going to be whatever medicator, whatever

750
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 4: it is, the Netflix and chill whatever that's right. You're

751
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 4: going to keep looking there because it's worked at one time,

752
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 4: but it's probably outgrown it and you're ready for more,

753
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 4: but it keeps rerouting to that. So gaining more tools

754
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,360
Speaker 4: is really where it's at. And they're going to change

755
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 4: what worked before, it doesn't work today. You sitting and

756
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 4: doing this meditation, you know it's on you. Keep showing up,

757
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:03,760
Speaker 4: keep doing that excitement around how you self soothe.

758
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: I love just even hearing that about self soothing, because

759
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 1: like you and I have the recovery piece in common.

760
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: And so when I first started recovery, I remember being like, god,

761
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: I just because I was thirty, and I felt like

762
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,240
Speaker 1: just the fuck up kind of you know, like everyone

763
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: else had it kind of figured out, and why wasn't

764
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: anyone else's life falling apart? Why was mine falling apart?

765
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: And it was a very like I guess that's a

766
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 1: victim mentality, but it's also like just it felt so heavy.

767
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 2: And like, oh why me?

768
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 1: And since I've done it for so long now, it's

769
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: sort of like, oh, recovery is just a tool of mine.

770
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 1: Like it's just like the steps give me something tangible

771
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 1: to do when I'm in these you know, really intense

772
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 1: periods of my life or hardships or whatever it is.

773
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: And I always say to people, I wish everyone had

774
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 1: a program and not because like I'm just you know,

775
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: thinking like everyone has to be in twelve step. But

776
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: it's just really great tools for a life, and so

777
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 1: I love you're offering that at Sage and Sound. Can

778
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: you tell us a little bit just about Sage and

779
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: Sound in general, and then what else people could find?

780
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,760
Speaker 4: I will I just want to piggyback on that because

781
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 4: I have another class that I just okay, called the

782
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 4: Spirituality of the Twelve Steps. Okay, So it's distilling just

783
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 4: the essence of each step and how anyone because I've

784
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 4: heard the same thing you've heard. God, I wish I

785
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 4: had a problem. I like, no, you don't, right, trust,

786
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 4: but yes, but it is an incredible blueprint. Yeah, and

787
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 4: so what is the essence of each one? How are you?

788
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 4: How can you admit powerlessness and unmanageability in how you

789
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 4: show up in your life on where you're like less hustle,

790
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 4: more flow, you know? And then what's your relationship to

791
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 4: higher power? How can you tune your will in life

792
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 4: over to it? So it's just like this gentle look

793
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,439
Speaker 4: at sort of what we've all benefited from and we've

794
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 4: built our life from the ashes back with yeah, and

795
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 4: so so that that's been like a particular joy to

796
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 4: create classes around that. But the study is such a

797
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 4: beautiful space within Sage and sound. It's really the hardest

798
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 4: agent sound. This isn't an Upper east Side five thousand

799
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 4: square foot space and so much closed during the pandemic. Yeah,

800
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 4: so much closed, and we've been missing community. I mean,

801
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 4: my practice I had was doing workshops and one on

802
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 4: one all over the world and people showed up during

803
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 4: that period of time just feeling so destabilized and really

804
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,839
Speaker 4: wanting to learn how to anchor into themselves. So I've

805
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 4: been doing that on Zoom off my farm in Pennsylvania.

806
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 4: And so this opportunity came to join these two friends

807
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 4: that were Upper East Siders that kept having to go

808
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 4: downtown to get their acupuncture, all their treatments, their nontoxic

809
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 4: MANI petty, all these different things, and they wanted to

810
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 4: create a space where they could have a meditation and

811
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 4: breath work and sound and then these classes. And so

812
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 4: as programming director, it's been such a joy and a

813
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 4: dream to think about where can we meet people right

814
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 4: where they are on their journey. Someone who doesn't want

815
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 4: to show up for meditation or breath might want to

816
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 4: show up and do a mindful writing class to learn

817
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 4: how to drop into themselves, to learn how to just

818
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 4: be with themselves. Like what could that look and feel like?

819
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 4: We have a class on practical mysticism. Again we keep

820
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 4: going to clairvoyance or other people to pull our taro.

821
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 4: How about you learning how to read your own sun sign?

822
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 4: How about you learning how to pull your own cards?

823
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 4: You know. So we have this incredible astrologer who's like

824
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 4: thirty five years and written books, and so she teaches

825
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 4: a class here as well. And then we have all

826
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 4: kinds of life coaches and authors teaching about how to

827
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 4: manifest abundance, how to heal relationships. You have a men's

828
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 4: class because this space is really saturated with women, yeah

829
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 4: a lot of times, so we had to create men

830
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 4: to have their own space to do that. And he's incredible.

831
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 4: And then we just have these sound practitioners that honestly

832
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 4: just came off of tours with Oprah. We have two

833
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 4: of them. When is Breath and one Nick Nicholas Pratley,

834
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 4: and the other one is Jackie Campwell. And she was

835
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 4: on all the sound this sound tour with her and

836
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 4: now she's actually going to do a sound experience this evening,

837
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 4: which I'm going to benefit from. Amazing, I'm going to

838
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 4: do it.

839
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 1: What do you find the benefit of sound, because I've

840
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 1: done a million sound baths and for me, it is

841
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 1: my entire body feels like it shifts the energy just completely,

842
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 1: like the vibration, Like I feel my entire body vibrate.

843
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 2: Can you come talk people.

844
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: Through that, because I don't know that a lot of

845
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: my listeners are even aware of the healing parts of sound.

846
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 4: Well, everything is vibrating, everything is energy all around us.

847
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:44,800
Speaker 4: It's like just we talked about gratitudes. A frequency. Sound

848
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 4: is a frequency and it really cuts through noise in

849
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 4: the mind and the body, and we're just very sensitive

850
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 4: to it. And so to listen to sound in that way,

851
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:01,360
Speaker 4: it's almost like just an immersion, and it can really

852
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,839
Speaker 4: drop a resistant like someone who can't sit for meditation necessarily,

853
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 4: who has a lot of thoughts. It really can carry

854
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:13,839
Speaker 4: them on this ocean of experience quiet stillness. It can

855
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,399
Speaker 4: really laser threat and a lot of resistant clients who

856
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 4: don't want to meditate and sit in that like my

857
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 4: mind's just too busy, but they can avail themselves to

858
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 4: sound and the frequency of sound. And we offer different practitioners,

859
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 4: so some of them do more Tibetan bowls, and that's

860
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 4: a different sound with gongs, and some of them do

861
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 4: more crystal bowls and that's a different experience. And then

862
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 4: some of them we have laying down, so it's more about,

863
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 4: you know, being in shavasana after yoga class when you

864
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 4: just lay there and you just allow that. And so

865
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:47,359
Speaker 4: we have a different practitioner on Sundays that offers more

866
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 4: to enliven, more to align, more to set intentions. So

867
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 4: it's using sound in different ways, and so it's less

868
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 4: of a sound bath and it's more of a sound meditation.

869
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 4: Oh I like that difference. Yeah.

870
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're listening and you're like, okay, y'all, okay,

871
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 1: sound and soundbles and all this stuff don't not get

872
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 1: so you try it.

873
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 2: Go try answer, Go try it, go try it.

874
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: So Sage and Sound is in New York. If you

875
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 1: guys are up there visiting. Where else can people find you?

876
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:15,359
Speaker 4: Though?

877
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 1: If they aren't in New York and they maybe want

878
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 1: to work with you privately, do you still do the

879
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 1: zoom sessions?

880
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 4: Not as much anymore. I'm really here. My focus has

881
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 4: been here a year, been helping to build this and

882
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 4: it's just so beautiful to come back into community again.

883
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 4: And that's what I'm saying it's like all these things

884
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:33,840
Speaker 4: have been happening online, and there's nothing like the energy

885
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,439
Speaker 4: of being in a room of like minded people. When

886
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 4: you know that from meetings, you know that room, it's

887
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 4: just different. It feels different. And to hear other people

888
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 4: share about where they're at, you even working in vacuums

889
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 4: like online and or with their theravists and our coaches

890
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 4: and oh yeah, and it's something that's so cracking to

891
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 4: have that community again. So that's what I'm really focused

892
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 4: on and building that here. But I write a lot

893
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 4: still on my Instagram page and that's a Ryan dot hav.

894
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 4: That's I'm just constantly using that as a place where

895
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 4: I express thoughts and feelings and things that are going

896
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 4: on and things that I'm working with in the space.

897
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: And yeah, so a lot of healing tools there. You

898
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: guys can follow her there. I'll put her Instagram handle

899
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: in the description of this podcast. And also just the

900
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,399
Speaker 1: Stage and Sound website and your personal website is really

901
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 1: great as well, just telling your.

902
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 2: Story and things like that.

903
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: Of course, thank you so much. This was such a

904
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 1: delight for me this afternoon. Yeah, it on.

905
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 4: Thank you, of.

906
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:34,919
Speaker 1: Course, Thank you guys so much. For listening, and thank

907
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 1: you Ryan for being here.

908
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson,

909
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 3: where we believe everyone has a little velvet in a

910
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:46,280
Speaker 3: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty

911
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 3: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.