Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In August you can find me in Red Bank,
Speaker 1: New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And
Speaker 1: September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New
Speaker 1: York City, Philly and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise,
Speaker 1: Idaho and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in
Speaker 1: San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston,
Speaker 1: Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I
Speaker 1: am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So
Speaker 1: get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High
Speaker 1: and Mighty Tour.
Speaker 2: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
Speaker 3: How is the handsome Spaniard situation over there?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm so focused on my studies. You know that I'm
Speaker 2: not even looking at men. You know me. When I
Speaker 2: have a one focus of attention, it is to learn more.
Speaker 4: The consummate students.
Speaker 5: Estoya Key Para ap there no inter ma Interesa and
Speaker 5: Los Ombres Manana until tomorrow. That is where I'm actually
Speaker 5: being set up with a man, So we'll see how
Speaker 5: that goes.
Speaker 6: Nice.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, we'll check back next week.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm going for a little apparatzivo. How is your
Speaker 5: como tefue vision.
Speaker 7: Wavian weilindo la pisin At the tempo, we were just
Speaker 7: floating in the pool the entire time and did almost
Speaker 7: nothing and it was really lovely. Don't they if we
Speaker 7: stayers and Cancun. Uh so it plamhrs near Cancun and
Speaker 7: it was really lovely.
Speaker 2: Was it hot?
Speaker 1: You know what?
Speaker 3: I was worried it was gonna be like muggy and crazy,
Speaker 3: but it actually was quite comfortable. Like during the day
Speaker 3: you definitely wanted to be like in the pool, in
Speaker 3: the water, but yeah, the evenings were like fine and.
Speaker 6: It was really it was really delightful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 4: It was just like full relaxation.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have to say Madrid is one of the
Speaker 5: most special cities I've ever spent time in. I've been
Speaker 5: here for now for two weeks almost sally Endo Sabado
Speaker 5: el Sabado, and I've been going to school every day
Speaker 5: like a good little girl with my I have people
Speaker 5: in my class.
Speaker 9: It's very cute.
Speaker 5: I go from nine thirty to one pm, and then
Speaker 5: I go and I take myself to some ridiculous meal.
Speaker 2: Where I drink white wine and eat the freshest fish.
Speaker 2: They fly the fresh fish into Madrid. Every day. There's
Speaker 2: fires everywhere, unfortunately.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's the deal, what's going on with that?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: There's fires everywhere in Europe, but this air is pretty bad.
Speaker 5: It's like you can feel it when you're walking around.
Speaker 5: But I'm just enjoying my life, like Elouise at the Plaza.
Speaker 5: I'm staying at a really beautiful hotel. I already have
Speaker 5: set up like all these doctor just close to me.
Speaker 5: I get my backcracked, I get dry needling. I'm like,
Speaker 5: I'm just living my best life until I have to
Speaker 5: come home, and yeah, it's pretty exciting. I'll see everybody
Speaker 5: in Montclair or no red Bank red Bank assault out Montclair,
Speaker 5: and then I have Calgary on the thirteenth of August,
Speaker 5: I believe, or the fourteenth or the fifteenth, it could.
Speaker 2: Be any one of those days. Second say, yeah, it's
Speaker 2: one of those days.
Speaker 4: Yeah, go to Chelseahanler dot com to find out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm coming back on tour. I'm back and on track.
Speaker 2: This has been my reprieve, my respite.
Speaker 4: I can tell you're arrested. Yeah, I can tell you're
Speaker 4: rested and restored.
Speaker 2: I've been sleeping a lot.
Speaker 6: Good.
Speaker 5: That's excellent. Our guest was so fun this week. Oh yeah,
Speaker 5: she's one of my favorites. She's been one of my
Speaker 5: favorite friends for so many years. And I think she's
Speaker 5: coming to my house in my worka next month. So
Speaker 5: that's going to be really fun because I don't think
Speaker 5: we've ever vacationed together. But she is a comic, she's
Speaker 5: an actress, and she's a star of the upcoming Haunted Heist,
Speaker 5: which is in theaters now. Please welcome Tiffany Hattish.
Speaker 6: Oh look you. It reminds me of.
Speaker 10: Mitzvah, reminds me of You're but totally perfect.
Speaker 1: It was really cute.
Speaker 9: That was a party that I'm glad I really didn't miss.
Speaker 6: I'm glad because that was the best party ever.
Speaker 1: It was. It was a great party. Who did I
Speaker 1: sit with Billy Crystal? Billy Crystal and his wife, and
Speaker 1: they were so proud of you.
Speaker 9: It was like they were your parents.
Speaker 1: It was so Sweetlome Who did I go to that?
Speaker 1: Who did I go to your party with Sarah?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 9: Yeah, it was a jew parade.
Speaker 1: You're a bunch of juice parading around a bunch.
Speaker 6: Of Jews, a bunch of black people too. It was
Speaker 6: the perfect civil.
Speaker 1: Rights You're here to promote your new movie, which is
Speaker 1: called Haunted Heist.
Speaker 9: It's gone video on demand.
Speaker 1: First of all, I was watching a bunch of your
Speaker 1: stuff in the last couple of weeks. You like a
Speaker 1: fucking murder mystery, don't you? You love that ship, you
Speaker 1: liked it. You were a detective like three different times.
Speaker 11: I was like, I love I wanted to be the police.
Speaker 11: You know, I slept with so many.
Speaker 9: So many police officers.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I want to be the police.
Speaker 1: With a lot of police officers I have, how many?
Speaker 1: Do you think?
Speaker 6: Probably?
Speaker 9: For really, I don't think that I've ever.
Speaker 1: Slept with a police officer to get out of something.
Speaker 11: No, No, to get into something, to get something out
Speaker 11: of it. And one of them turned into a judge,
Speaker 11: went from police lawyer judge.
Speaker 9: And did you ever get something out of it from them?
Speaker 11: No?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 11: I got some life lessons and I picked up some
Speaker 11: character traits and I'm able to like, I picked up discernment.
Speaker 1: That's right. I've also picked up discernment and later in
Speaker 1: my later years. I didn't get discernment until a couple
Speaker 1: of like years ago. It's pretty recent, and it's kind
Speaker 1: of shocking when you do. When you do achieve discernment,
Speaker 1: you're kind of like, wow, I was really fucking stupid
Speaker 1: before that. Stupid is like and and no one would
Speaker 1: ever look at me or you and think that they were.
Speaker 1: We are easily taken advantage of. But I have been
Speaker 1: taken advantage of by friends, by lovers, by so many people.
Speaker 1: And not that I'm a victim, I'm not saying that,
Speaker 1: but just like you would think I would be smarter
Speaker 1: than that, and I'm not.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well I am a victim.
Speaker 11: I am a victim, and the victim side of me
Speaker 11: has taken all that, all that energy and mutated it
Speaker 11: into something good.
Speaker 1: I know, Well, things are going really well for you.
Speaker 1: Now they're going okay, No, they're going well, okay, they're
Speaker 1: going well. Right, I'm going to say they're going well,
Speaker 1: and that's gonna We're going to invite in the positivity.
Speaker 6: Well, you know, the door is wide open for all
Speaker 6: positives found the negative.
Speaker 1: We you started off this year with your Sports Illustrated cover,
Speaker 1: which was badass. Thank you and you were so excited
Speaker 1: and Chrise. Tiffany with full disclosure, was one of my
Speaker 1: first dinner guest at my house when I had to
Speaker 1: christen it with good vibes. Nice Tiffany, my friend Sarah,
Speaker 1: my friend Jane, Jane Fonda was here, and then Ya
Speaker 1: Minika was here, but she was in a real fucking
Speaker 1: funk that night, so luckily we were like, get the
Speaker 1: fuck out of here. She came downstairs to meet Jane
Speaker 1: Fond and she had a migraine and she didn't even
Speaker 1: acknowledge Jane. She sits down and she just like looks
Speaker 1: up and Jane's like hello, And so that was ridiculous.
Speaker 4: Someone had to bring the bad vibes.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so you helped Chris in my new house
Speaker 1: and put it in the good vibes. But I want
Speaker 1: to talk about your Sports Illustrated because I know you
Speaker 1: were so proud of that, and I was so proud
Speaker 1: of it. When you told me, I was like wow,
Speaker 1: and then I saw it all the time, Like you
Speaker 1: guys did a runway show, do they make you do
Speaker 1: all of this stuff.
Speaker 11: When you're on the cover, they don't make you do it,
Speaker 11: but they definitely would like.
Speaker 6: For you to do everything right. And there was so
Speaker 6: much more.
Speaker 11: I didn't do everything that they wanted because everything counts
Speaker 11: with the big check.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm tipyad.
Speaker 9: Tiffany likes to get for everything.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I do want to be paid. I want to
Speaker 6: be compensated.
Speaker 11: No exploitation without compensation. That is something that I picked
Speaker 11: to discernment.
Speaker 1: But we both at a charity event the other night
Speaker 1: for Jane, and we didn't get paid for that, unless
Speaker 1: you had a side hustle going no, no, we did.
Speaker 6: Not get paid for that.
Speaker 11: But I feel like there was compensation in that because
Speaker 11: we get the friendship of Jamee Fonder and that is
Speaker 11: very valuable. Like I mean, she changed the light switches
Speaker 11: in my house so that I could have demurs.
Speaker 1: She did that night.
Speaker 11: Yes, she said it's too bright in here, and she
Speaker 11: sent a very sexy electrician over and.
Speaker 6: He came through and he changed my switches.
Speaker 1: Wow, Jane is amazing.
Speaker 4: Like she's in there with a screwdriver.
Speaker 6: But she said the very end, it's just amazing. That's
Speaker 6: what real friends do.
Speaker 1: I know, I know she It's amazing to me how
Speaker 1: much shit she gets done every single day, Like she
Speaker 1: is tireless.
Speaker 9: I've never seen anybody like that.
Speaker 11: I think she stares at the wall. Have you heard
Speaker 11: this new? This thing is it's new to me, but
Speaker 11: it's probably as old as time. But when you take
Speaker 11: a break, like actually take a break, like don't do anything,
Speaker 11: don't pick up your phone, don't look at pictures and nothing,
Speaker 11: just stare at the wall or just stare at a tree,
Speaker 11: but just stare at something for like ten to twenty minutes,
Speaker 11: like empty your brain out.
Speaker 1: Just stare at something and then start again and then
Speaker 1: start again. Yeah, that's like meditation.
Speaker 11: Yeah, and I think she does that because I feel
Speaker 11: like she does it in the middle of conversation.
Speaker 6: Sometimes I feel like I'm telling her a story and
Speaker 6: she's like, I've seen it.
Speaker 9: I've definitely seen her look at you like that.
Speaker 8: Sure.
Speaker 9: Okay, so you got married to your you got married this.
Speaker 6: Year to myself? Yeah? Last year?
Speaker 11: Was it?
Speaker 6: The year before?
Speaker 11: I don't know, two your anniversaries coming up?
Speaker 9: It's how did you decide to do that?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 11: I just was really real, like, okay, so everybody sol Tiffany,
Speaker 11: who are you with?
Speaker 6: Who you with? Who you're dating? And that kind of
Speaker 6: bothered me.
Speaker 11: I don't like that because I remember before fame, nobody
Speaker 11: cared who I was dating. I could be whatever kind
Speaker 11: of horror I wanted to be, and nobody thought about it,
Speaker 11: nobody asked questions about it. And then I started like,
Speaker 11: I'm dating these different guys and like they all want
Speaker 11: to be with me so bad, but then I'm not
Speaker 11: wanting them like that, and then they're not like really
Speaker 11: serving me, and then I'm like, how can I expect
Speaker 11: them to make me happy if I don't know exactly
Speaker 11: what makes me happy? And how am I going to
Speaker 11: make a real commitment if I'm not making any commitment.
Speaker 11: I've never made a commitment to myself, except like to
Speaker 11: fulfill my dreams, but nothing like for like let me
Speaker 11: take care of you, let me love on you, Like
Speaker 11: I've never really committed like that, except for I guess
Speaker 11: when I got married for real life to a man
Speaker 11: and then I had the fore clothes on him that
Speaker 11: didn't work out.
Speaker 1: That did not work out, No, I didn't, no, I.
Speaker 6: But discernment came with that lesson.
Speaker 9: So how did you celebrate your wedding to yourself.
Speaker 11: So basically, I invited my best friends and we went
Speaker 11: to Africa and I had a ceremony and marry me
Speaker 11: and then we danced a little bit, ate some food.
Speaker 11: And now every year on my anniversary, I take me
Speaker 11: to like the bel Air hotel.
Speaker 6: I take me.
Speaker 11: Somewhere nice and that has a jacuzzie, and I basically
Speaker 11: buy me flowers and I do all this nice stuff
Speaker 11: for me that I would want my man to do
Speaker 11: for me. And I made a manual basically, and I'm
Speaker 11: about to I think I kind of want to publish it,
Speaker 11: but then I think that might be too much. But
Speaker 11: I'm going to give it to the guy that I
Speaker 11: think is the guy and be like, this is all
Speaker 11: the stuff you got to do to just make me happy.
Speaker 11: This is how you win me over. Yeah, this is
Speaker 11: how you can, you know, get whatever you want out
Speaker 11: of me. This is how you win you know.
Speaker 1: What's really annoying is when you tell people directly what
Speaker 1: you want, especially men that you're dating. If you tell
Speaker 1: them directly what you want and they don't follow that, Like, you're.
Speaker 11: Like, that's why I put it in a manual with
Speaker 11: sketches and stuff, and then like I can. And if
Speaker 11: you can't do this, then we wasn't supposed to be together.
Speaker 11: You can't put this, you can't put this together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. It's like listen, if we're telling you like
Speaker 1: we're self empowered, that means we need that in order
Speaker 1: to stay with you. So if you're not following the manual,
Speaker 1: then you're not going to get to stay with us.
Speaker 1: This is a very frustrating thing. Being direct is like,
Speaker 1: sometimes you think I want to ask you a question.
Speaker 1: I know you've had a lot of breakups, Like I.
Speaker 11: Just went off on somebody earlier today on the way here.
Speaker 6: That might be why I came so early.
Speaker 1: I've never seen you early in your life, so it
Speaker 1: was shocking.
Speaker 11: And I'm always early if I think it's work. If
Speaker 11: it's work, I will show it's true. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 11: and social I behind.
Speaker 6: I'll get there when I get there.
Speaker 1: Between hanging out, why did you do? What happened today?
Speaker 11: So this guy that I've been talking to that lives
Speaker 11: in New York, we've been talking for a while and
Speaker 11: we ended up hooking up, and I was.
Speaker 6: I didn't enjoy it. I didn't enjoy it.
Speaker 11: I just didn't and but I like him as a person.
Speaker 11: But then it just the more he would talk to me,
Speaker 11: the more I just don't want to talk, you know,
Speaker 11: like once to somebody and if it's bad, or it's
Speaker 11: not necessarily bad, it's just good enough for me. It's
Speaker 11: just like, yeah, I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 11: to be bothered. Yeah, I don't want to be bothered.
Speaker 11: And that might be mistakes. Happened like two years ago,
Speaker 11: it has happened since, but I still be like entertaining
Speaker 11: the conversation, and so I'm like, look, I can't keep
Speaker 11: entertaining this no more. Like I'm not into you. I'll
Speaker 11: never be into you. You ain't seen me naked in
Speaker 11: a long ass time. I don't want to see you naked.
Speaker 11: Like and he's a beautiful man, but just don't don't
Speaker 11: don't be putting your hopes on me.
Speaker 6: I hope you got other girls you're talking to you.
Speaker 1: This is the difference between women and men is that
Speaker 1: we will I will put out a flame on behalf
Speaker 1: of the other person. Like what you're saying is you're like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to give you any false hope, right,
Speaker 1: Whereas men want to keep women lingering around so they
Speaker 1: don't definitively tell you when they're not interested, whereas we're
Speaker 1: not trying to waste anybody's time. I don't want to
Speaker 1: break your heart. If you're into this and I'm not
Speaker 1: into this, I want to just cut you loose and
Speaker 1: be respectful of another person, right, be nice if everyone
Speaker 1: behavior yeah.
Speaker 11: Yeah, well, because it's like, well to me, they I
Speaker 11: think they do that case this one that I really
Speaker 11: want to be with, don't want to give me no
Speaker 11: ask today? Maybe this one that I kind of like,
Speaker 11: which is cool.
Speaker 6: I get it. I have dudes that are online for that.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 11: That's just like you know, if I need some I'll
Speaker 11: give you a car. But it's not like I don't
Speaker 11: want to be I don't want to be your thing.
Speaker 11: I don't want to be your main person.
Speaker 1: What is the lowest thing that you've ever done during
Speaker 1: a breakup?
Speaker 6: The lowest thing do you have?
Speaker 8: Do you have a.
Speaker 1: Regret any regrets about the way you've handled a breakup?
Speaker 6: Nah? Really?
Speaker 11: I mean I've shitten in shoes, but I don't regret
Speaker 11: shitting in them shoes I have I have made uh
Speaker 11: sex videos, made copies of the dude sex state that
Speaker 11: he had with the bitch that he was cheating on
Speaker 11: me with.
Speaker 6: I didn't regret that at all.
Speaker 1: You got videos of the affair. Yeah, how did you
Speaker 1: do that?
Speaker 6: He had? He's stupid.
Speaker 11: He was stupid, he he he was dumb as fuck.
Speaker 6: So okay.
Speaker 11: So he was trying to film me. He wants to
Speaker 11: film me and him having sex. This is We're twenty
Speaker 11: one years old. He wanted to film us having sex together.
Speaker 11: And I was like, no, no, I don't want to
Speaker 11: do that. And then one day, this is like a
Speaker 11: few days after my birthday, I wanted to film it.
Speaker 11: I'm like, let's film it. Okay, let's do this. I've
Speaker 11: been thinking about it. Yeah, you know, we only be
Speaker 11: young for so long. We need to capture our bodies
Speaker 11: the way they are now. And I say, so good, Yeah,
Speaker 11: this is gonna be great. And I grab the camera
Speaker 11: and I start to push record. When I grabs the
Speaker 11: camera and it was on top of the TV, he
Speaker 11: yanks the camera from me, scratches my face.
Speaker 6: I still got a scratch on his.
Speaker 11: Cheek from it, and he takes the tape out, goes
Speaker 11: outside in the rain, throws the tape in a dumpster.
Speaker 6: So I'm like, what the hell is on that tape? Right?
Speaker 11: So I play dumb or whatever. We start making out,
Speaker 11: like ooh, my stomach making wear noise.
Speaker 6: Let me go to the bathroom real quick. I go
Speaker 6: to the bathroom.
Speaker 11: I wait like twenty minutes in the bathroom, just staring
Speaker 11: at the wall, deciding how I'm a murder this motherfucker.
Speaker 11: And then I was like, okay, I can't make I'm
Speaker 11: not gonna commit murder. I got a lot of life
Speaker 11: to live. I want to do that. But I'm I'm
Speaker 11: gonna go in that dumpster. So I tell him I'm sick.
Speaker 11: I'm really sick. I cannot do this. I gotta go home.
Speaker 6: I get in my car and I drive.
Speaker 11: About three blocks away, come back around park about a
Speaker 11: half a block away from his place, walk down, go
Speaker 11: down into the garage area where the dumpsters are, and
Speaker 11: I get the dumpster diving.
Speaker 6: It's raining too, it's.
Speaker 1: Nasty, it's outside the yeah.
Speaker 6: And it's raining and it's raining, and I'm out there.
Speaker 6: I find the tape.
Speaker 11: Okay, I needed one of those adapter VHS tapes to
Speaker 11: see what was on there because it's a little high eight.
Speaker 11: So I drove around till three o'clock in the morning
Speaker 11: to every drug store, Walmart, I mean everywhere, Kmart, Target,
Speaker 11: I was driving everywhere CVS.
Speaker 6: I don't even think CVS existed.
Speaker 11: Then I think it was Savin's and Walgreens. Girl, I
Speaker 11: was driving down ever trying to find that damn adapter.
Speaker 11: And then I remember that my homegirl Anna, Anna, had
Speaker 11: the same video camera that he had. I had to
Speaker 11: start going into my memory like who do I know
Speaker 11: they got cameras?
Speaker 6: Who do I know?
Speaker 11: Like literally, when I tell you, I was sitting in
Speaker 11: my Geo Metro trying to manifest the thoughts, trying to
Speaker 11: find trying to the knowledge, and then I was like, oh, Anna,
Speaker 11: Anna has the same sony camera. So I called Anna
Speaker 11: like five in the morning and I said, Anna, I
Speaker 11: will bring you whatever alcohol, beverage you want.
Speaker 6: Whatever weed, tobacco, whatever you need.
Speaker 11: I will bring it to you right now if you
Speaker 11: let me borrow your camera for a couple of days.
Speaker 6: And she said what do you need it for?
Speaker 11: I said, girl, I got this this acting project I'm
Speaker 11: trying to put together. And she said, okay, yeah, just
Speaker 11: bring me. Just bring me like a six pack and
Speaker 11: some six I said, all right, bet what brand you want,
Speaker 11: got her the brand, got her the cist out and
Speaker 11: got her some black and miles, and I got her
Speaker 11: at fifthy Weed.
Speaker 6: I was not playing.
Speaker 11: Okay and bro out of and she gave me the
Speaker 11: camera and I went home. I was home probably about
Speaker 11: about seven in the morning. I plug up the camera,
Speaker 11: I put the taping in. I rewinded all the way
Speaker 11: to the beginning before I push play, now, push play,
Speaker 11: and then I hear me going, come.
Speaker 6: On, let's make a movie. We making this movie. We
Speaker 6: gotta be something sexy. Our body's gonna look so you
Speaker 6: know this.
Speaker 11: And then it cuts to it cuts to him saying, no,
Speaker 11: that's not how Tiffany do it.
Speaker 6: When you do it, you gotta do it like this.
Speaker 6: This is how Tiffany do it.
Speaker 11: And and like he's telling her, he's basically teaching this
Speaker 11: bitch all my moves, and then they're like and then
Speaker 11: it's it's dark, it's dark. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 11: the picture comes up and he's blowing this girl's back
Speaker 11: out and he ain't got no kind of all. And
Speaker 11: I watched it probably fifty times. That was so hard,
Speaker 11: and I I wanted I wanted to I wanted to
Speaker 11: destroy this man soul because it was it was killing
Speaker 11: my soul.
Speaker 6: It was like, HER's so bad.
Speaker 11: So I went to hit and went down to the
Speaker 11: swap meet and uh, and I had got that movie
Speaker 11: Charlie's Angels on bootleg and I was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 11: watch this. This's gonna make me feel better, right. So
Speaker 11: I was watching that and then he called me and
Speaker 11: was like, what's up, y'all?
Speaker 6: You feeling you feeling better? I was like, nah, I'm
Speaker 6: still sick.
Speaker 11: But the more sick I get, the more I just
Speaker 11: think I don't think we should be together no more.
Speaker 11: I want to break up with you. I told him
Speaker 11: my mom break up with him. He told me, I'm crazy.
Speaker 11: Are you tripping? He come banging on my door. I
Speaker 11: don't answer the door, and then he leaves, and he
Speaker 11: leaves like flowers and stuff at the door, like.
Speaker 6: You need you just tripping.
Speaker 11: And then his mama call me, his aunt, he's called me,
Speaker 11: his grandmama call me. They all tell me I'm crazy,
Speaker 11: I got a mental problem. How could you break up
Speaker 11: with him? This man loves you, He'll do anything for you,
Speaker 11: And I'm like, that's bullshit, that's bullshit. But you know
Speaker 11: I still want to honor him, you know. But they
Speaker 11: kept on pressing me, kept pressing, and it was pissing
Speaker 11: me off. How they was pumping this man up.
Speaker 1: And I started, did you tell them the truth?
Speaker 6: Not yet? Now yet yet?
Speaker 8: Not yet?
Speaker 6: I just said, I like when.
Speaker 1: Women aren't reactive and they hold onto their evidence and
Speaker 1: then decide when they're going to.
Speaker 11: I just said to him, you need to talk because
Speaker 11: his sister warned me. His sister two months before told
Speaker 11: me you not my brother cheating on you. You know, my
Speaker 11: brother be sleeping with the neighbor girl, like every time
Speaker 11: you leave for mother here, when my mama go to work,
Speaker 11: keep me with the neighbor girl. He just little Jamaican girl,
Speaker 11: so you know, don't you know he'd be cheating. And
Speaker 11: his sister's like eight, And I'm like, this little girl lying,
Speaker 11: This little girl just don't want.
Speaker 6: Me to be with her brother or whatever.
Speaker 11: But then I just start thinking about it, like, man,
Speaker 11: she's always attached to me. She's like the girl always
Speaker 11: wants to play with me, laugh with me, Like I
Speaker 11: don't think she They'll start being like she might not
Speaker 11: be lying. So then I ask him and he's like
Speaker 11: she's making that up. I don't know where she get
Speaker 11: that from. So, and I want to believe him. I'm
Speaker 11: twenty one, I'm stupid, fully dumb, so whatever he say,
Speaker 11: I believe. But after I saw that video, yes, So,
Speaker 11: then I got so mad. I got so mad, and
Speaker 11: I got so in my head, and I had my
Speaker 11: homegirl come over and watch with me. I said, what
Speaker 11: you think I should do? I think I'm a destroy
Speaker 11: this man. She was like, did you break up with him?
Speaker 11: I said, yeah, we broke up. And I'm like, his
Speaker 11: family keep harassing me, but it's really bothered me. I
Speaker 11: just really want to destroy him, like I feel like
Speaker 11: he's destroyed me. And she said, do what you think
Speaker 11: is right. And he had left some shoes at my house.
Speaker 11: So I do do it in those shoes, I ate corn,
Speaker 11: I do do it in them. But before that, I
Speaker 11: went ahead and I got a bunch of blank of
Speaker 11: VHS tapes. This is the early two thousands, by the way,
Speaker 11: and I took that Charlie's Angels movie, and right in
Speaker 11: the middle of the Charlie's Angels movie, I put his
Speaker 11: sex tape and I made enough copies for every single
Speaker 11: family member that called me and told me this man,
Speaker 11: love you, and for Christmas, I sent it to every
Speaker 11: single one of those family members.
Speaker 1: And did you tell them I was imperative to watch
Speaker 1: the movie because what if they weren't interested in Charlie's Angels?
Speaker 6: No, no, I did not.
Speaker 11: Say it was imperative to either they watch it or
Speaker 11: did don't watch it? And right in there I put
Speaker 11: Corn's angel.
Speaker 1: His name was, His name was Cornelias old us that part,
Speaker 1: that's an important part of the story for you eating
Speaker 1: corn and then taking a shadubi and his shoes. This
Speaker 1: is a strong play, yeah, very strong move. This is
Speaker 1: another level of breaking up.
Speaker 11: Actually, I wrote about that in my book and I
Speaker 11: named him TuS Titus in the book. So his name
Speaker 11: is Titus, middle name Cordinelius.
Speaker 9: Have you had nice breakups with men?
Speaker 6: Yeah, pretty much. Most of my breakups have been pretty nice.
Speaker 1: That's nice.
Speaker 11: But they all turned into a little bit of a
Speaker 11: stalker for a little bit and.
Speaker 9: The yeah, men can be like that.
Speaker 6: And I could too. I might have been a little
Speaker 6: bit of a stoker.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once or twice I went through
Speaker 1: a phase like that once. Tiffany and I, this is
Speaker 1: a story. Tiffany and I I don't remember where we
Speaker 1: were what we were doing, but we were Backsta. We
Speaker 1: were doing something and she was like, you were like,
Speaker 1: come over here, and you were talking about we're talking
Speaker 1: about how much like we pay for other people and
Speaker 1: family members and stuff like that, and she's like, I
Speaker 1: need you to come here and look at my bank
Speaker 1: account balance and she's like, does this seem right to you?
Speaker 10: No, this does not right for the amount that you
Speaker 10: are working, this is not the right balance.
Speaker 1: And I was like, this, something has got to change.
Speaker 11: That was that's because I really admire you, and I
Speaker 11: feel like you should not like you can see my
Speaker 11: career better than yeah. And I'm like, you tell me
Speaker 11: what you think this, if this is right, because I.
Speaker 6: Feel like this is wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 11: Maybe, and maybe I'm crazy, Maybe I'm just over thinking
Speaker 11: too highly of myself or maybe I'm just going extending
Speaker 11: myself too much. And so I was like, can you
Speaker 11: tell me if this is right? And you look at
Speaker 11: them numbers and you said, NAHVI, this is.
Speaker 6: When you were doing your show.
Speaker 10: When you were doing your game show, she was working
Speaker 10: like fucking five shows a day, filming like and I
Speaker 10: was like, there, no, no, we all need I know well,
Speaker 10: women especially need an education and find out.
Speaker 11: What I feel like it was so important for us
Speaker 11: to talk about that though, like I think, women we don't.
Speaker 6: Talk about that with each other.
Speaker 11: Men do and they're like, yeah, man, I'm getting paid this,
Speaker 11: so then they know what to go ask for, but
Speaker 11: we don't do that. So then in that moment, that's
Speaker 11: when I decided I'm finna start asking my friends that
Speaker 11: I think is successful and I know it's doing well
Speaker 11: from my point of view what they see in this
Speaker 11: because maybe I'm tripping and so and you've been so.
Speaker 6: Good with that.
Speaker 1: Thank you with that.
Speaker 11: You're definitely like, no, bitch, you broke right now, that's
Speaker 11: not that's not okay. Somebody is stealing from it.
Speaker 1: Like you, it seems like you've repositioned yourself. You have
Speaker 1: different management, you have different people around. It seems like
Speaker 1: everything is moving in the right direction.
Speaker 12: It is.
Speaker 1: I noticed, I noticed, Okay, we're gonna take some callers, Okay,
Speaker 1: give some advice. Yes, I know, I know, since you
Speaker 1: take a sermon, this one.
Speaker 3: Is really juicy, so we yes.
Speaker 4: He says, Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 3: I started dating my boyfriend about four months ago before
Speaker 3: we slept together for the first time we had a
Speaker 3: conversation about contraception, and I explained to him that I
Speaker 3: wasn't on birth control because my body doesn't react well
Speaker 3: to it. He said that it was no issue at
Speaker 3: all because he'd had of a sectomy. He already had
Speaker 3: two kids from his previous marriage and doesn't want anymore.
Speaker 3: So he said he'd made the decision to get snipped
Speaker 3: or so.
Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, this is like that fucking but documentary
Speaker 1: on Netflix, paternal Instinct woman who did.
Speaker 6: The fine?
Speaker 1: Can you believe? First of all, let's just let's break
Speaker 1: stop down for a second, because we need to discuss
Speaker 1: that maternalist.
Speaker 11: I haven't seen it yet. Oh it's good, Okay, that
Speaker 11: was good. I couldn't take my eyes off of.
Speaker 9: The level of white trash in this country.
Speaker 1: And I listen, I don't use that term loosely, but
Speaker 1: the level of miseducation, Like this guy couldn't even string
Speaker 1: a sentence together. He couldn't even put the right tenses together.
Speaker 4: What's what's the premise?
Speaker 1: Okay? Sorry, sorry, I'm going I'm too upset about the grammar.
Speaker 1: I just couldn't believe the dumb assness of these people.
Speaker 1: It's like, no wonder we have fucking Trump in office
Speaker 1: when people like this are just wandering around our country.
Speaker 1: So the premise is, you want to take.
Speaker 11: A woman two kids already meets handsome cowboy type du
Speaker 11: that Okay, I was, I was dts Anyways, she she
Speaker 11: wants to lock him in.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 11: She's had a topic pregnancies before and had her tubes removed. Okay,
Speaker 11: tubal ligation like she removed it. Oh, they had to
Speaker 11: take the whole uter risk.
Speaker 6: It's the directomy. Okay, she had a full kiss directedmy
Speaker 6: she dating this dude, she trying to trap them. Okay.
Speaker 11: She tells him, okay after a few months, a day,
Speaker 11: not even a whole year, that she's pregnant. Okay, she
Speaker 11: starts pretending to be pregnant, and her family is letting
Speaker 11: us lie. This woman done told a thousand lies. Her
Speaker 11: family is not saying nothing. She had a gender review,
Speaker 11: a baby shower.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 11: Nobody's in her family saying nothing because she got something
Speaker 11: over their.
Speaker 6: Head or whatever. A few people here and there are
Speaker 6: saying some one.
Speaker 1: Of the boy family, it's starting.
Speaker 11: And the mama, the mama, his mama calls up to
Speaker 11: the or one of the friends or sister. Somebody in
Speaker 11: this family calls the doctor's office because it's a small town, right.
Speaker 6: The doctor's office see her posting stuff on Facebook.
Speaker 10: My baby on the way the doctor's office.
Speaker 1: They gave her the hystoryctic and.
Speaker 11: They're like, they're like, she not having no baby nowhere
Speaker 11: else she having a baby, right, And the one of
Speaker 11: the family members called in. They're like, they can't because
Speaker 11: of hippos. They can't say she had to disrect me.
Speaker 6: But they saying.
Speaker 11: Double check, I would pay attention in five of you,
Speaker 11: Like they can't tell that this woman that had to
Speaker 11: disrect me. But and they can't say that she can't
Speaker 11: get pregnant because who knows God makes miracles?
Speaker 6: But no, right, so what she do with.
Speaker 11: This this crazy b She pretend like she pregnant. She
Speaker 11: she just a big girl, right, but then I guess
Speaker 11: she put a little fake belly on.
Speaker 6: But how you hitting that, sir?
Speaker 11: You?
Speaker 9: This is this is what is so dumb asses.
Speaker 11: And like the level foot push it through the belly,
Speaker 11: nothing like babies a.
Speaker 1: Level Some asses in this country is astonished.
Speaker 11: And thinking she ate milk. Maybe she tells the tolerant
Speaker 11: and you know how when you eat milk. You could
Speaker 11: fill that rumble, like.
Speaker 1: She had a fake pregnancy suit on that she ordered.
Speaker 1: But like at some point the husband or the boyfriend
Speaker 1: would see her naked or have sex with her, or
Speaker 1: see her walk into the bathroom.
Speaker 11: Now, but he'd like, pig farmer, dude, that's what I need.
Speaker 11: If he ain't a pig, he don't.
Speaker 1: Know, and he'd be like, I didn't know she had
Speaker 1: she been. He'd be like, I didn't know she'd been expected.
Speaker 1: Like the like the sentence structure was, I couldn't even
Speaker 1: get past people.
Speaker 11: But people talk like this. No he talked, They talked
Speaker 11: like He's like, I don't know how in the hell
Speaker 11: she was, adding, she says she suspected, so we like
Speaker 11: it just sounds very slavey and it's like borderline slavery
Speaker 11: slash like almost for your type.
Speaker 6: It's just bad. It's just bad grammar, bad everything.
Speaker 11: And she basically went and befriended this woman that she befriended,
Speaker 11: took pictures of this woman at her wedding and everything.
Speaker 11: She's a photographer to the woman's the lion ass bitches
Speaker 11: a photographer. Okay, took pictures of her friend at the
Speaker 11: mother fucking wedding after her friend's baby shower at her
Speaker 11: friends party, go over to girl let's.
Speaker 6: Hat tea lest whatever.
Speaker 11: I've come kicking with my friend and all the other friends.
Speaker 11: And the friend is very pregnant. And now she's ten
Speaker 11: months and everybody's like, hey, you fourteen days behind your
Speaker 11: do date?
Speaker 12: What's up?
Speaker 1: Point? Everyone has safe yet, Like even the mother of
Speaker 1: the guy was like, hey this, we don't trust this woman.
Speaker 1: We don't think she's pregnant. We don't believe she's pregnant.
Speaker 1: She passed her due date by like a month, which
Speaker 1: is like, are you an elephant?
Speaker 9: That doesn't happen?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: And and then so they were telling him and he's like,
Speaker 1: oo nude.
Speaker 11: And then and then this bitch go over to the
Speaker 11: homegirl house right when everybody gone to work and stuff,
Speaker 11: and her baby in near sleep, her daughter in there sleep.
Speaker 6: This bitch come over early in the morning, kills her friend,
Speaker 6: slices her baby.
Speaker 11: Out of her bed, okay, leaves her on the floor,
Speaker 11: takes the baby, starts driving a radical lead like she
Speaker 11: had it to the hospital because she told her husband
Speaker 11: to her boyfriend to meet her at the hospital because
Speaker 11: she having a baby.
Speaker 1: The baby still have the umbilical court on. But everyone
Speaker 1: had been kind of red alerted in this town, the
Speaker 1: hospital and the police both because they knew that she
Speaker 1: was lying and everyone knew the story. So when they
Speaker 1: got there, they filmed everything, and and she's like, i mean,
Speaker 1: talk about a dumbouse. She's like, what, like she could
Speaker 1: and they're like, well, let's see your vagina and make
Speaker 1: sure you're okay.
Speaker 9: Basically, you just.
Speaker 6: Deliver the baby. Sure, stupid. She should have did that
Speaker 6: shit when she was all her period.
Speaker 11: Oh wait, you don't have periods because you got a
Speaker 11: hysterict So she didn't even got no blood. You know,
Speaker 11: you got a little blood on your pants, little blood
Speaker 11: on the back of the pajama bottoms or something you
Speaker 11: will be bleeding through.
Speaker 6: She came out of there with just a little bit
Speaker 6: of blood on her shirt from the bleeding.
Speaker 4: The woman survive.
Speaker 6: The doing life in jail. But I'm like, she's so dumb.
Speaker 11: She should have put that blood of the lady all
Speaker 11: between her legs or something like either white, but it
Speaker 11: doesn't matter. Why are you taking somebody else's back?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that, but also, how do you think that plan?
Speaker 1: You think that you're gonna steal someone's baby from their belly,
Speaker 1: take it out of their stomach, and they're not gonna
Speaker 1: find out.
Speaker 4: Right, They're not gonna find a body like what.
Speaker 1: I just don't understand how stupid people are. It's I
Speaker 1: guess you're just so crazy that it supersedes the stupid.
Speaker 1: But then it's like a permanent state of psychosis.
Speaker 11: All your friends, your neighbors, like everybody, like they just
Speaker 11: let you keep talking that ship, like her mom and
Speaker 11: dad said, they we don't deal with her at all.
Speaker 6: She's a pathological lion. We don't deal with her at all.
Speaker 1: What was really sad was after the husband or the boyfriend,
Speaker 1: whatever he is, the farm or the pig farmer he is,
Speaker 1: he's like, you know what was the most touching part
Speaker 1: was how much his mother loved him and was like,
Speaker 1: I just wish he had listened to me, Like I
Speaker 1: warned him. I told him, but he was getting angry
Speaker 1: at the people who were telling him the truths, as
Speaker 1: one does. And then he's been shunned and ostracized by
Speaker 1: the community and society because he was with her.
Speaker 9: And so now this poor guy, and.
Speaker 1: You know who I liked in that documentary, he's best friend,
Speaker 1: he had some fucking soul. He came and he was like,
Speaker 1: you have to listen to me. Forget about all this gossip.
Speaker 1: You have to listen to me, Manda. Man, this woman
Speaker 1: is out. She's not right, something's wrong with her, and
Speaker 1: he couldn't listen to her because it's the power of
Speaker 1: the pussy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, she even.
Speaker 1: Though he wasn't getting any pussy, because if he was,
Speaker 1: he would have known she wasn't.
Speaker 11: Pregnant, right, But he probably don't know the difference between
Speaker 11: pregnant pissy and not pregnant pisty.
Speaker 6: She probably really just.
Speaker 11: Hobbing on a knob and keeping them drunk every night.
Speaker 11: And then she probably had gas, so she's like, look,
Speaker 11: the baby's moving with gas bubbles and stuff it. Then
Speaker 11: I probably gave her liberty to fart and like freely
Speaker 11: and stuff, and he's just thinking, oh, she's making my baby,
Speaker 11: but really she's a nasty, dirty Okay.
Speaker 9: Anyway, that was a slight sidebar.
Speaker 4: A tiny sidebar. Minutes later that is taking this email
Speaker 4: sound very tame. Okay, go, we'll pick back up where
Speaker 4: we left off.
Speaker 3: So you know, she thought that he had He told
Speaker 3: her that he had had a vaseectomy, or so I thought.
Speaker 3: I missed my period this month, but still thought nothing
Speaker 3: of it and assumed it was due to stress or
Speaker 3: lack of sleep. But when I still didn't get it
Speaker 3: weeks later, I decided to take a pregnancy test. Well
Speaker 3: it was positive. I'm hurt and upset that he lied
Speaker 3: about something so serious. I'm not someone who wants to
Speaker 3: carry a child and have never wanted kids. Even though
Speaker 3: I adore his children, I still don't want one of
Speaker 3: my own. Because of this, I've decided to terminate the pregnancy.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to figure out how I should handle these feelings.
Speaker 3: Things haven't been going well for us, and I've been
Speaker 3: wanting to break things off anyway. But do I first
Speaker 3: tell him that I'm pregnant and demand an explanation on
Speaker 3: why he lied to me? Or do I go through
Speaker 3: this alone and keep it to myself. I feel incredibly betrayed,
Speaker 3: and any advice you have in the situation would be
Speaker 3: greatly appreciated.
Speaker 1: What do you think, oh, my nass? Though she wants
Speaker 1: to play a trick on him, I'm evil.
Speaker 6: I'm evil.
Speaker 11: No, I would tell him his vasectomy doesn't work, and
Speaker 11: I would if she wants to terminate the pregnancy, do
Speaker 11: the little peel or whatever.
Speaker 1: But absolutely don't fucking tell him anything. He doesn't get
Speaker 1: to know because he's untrustworthy to lie about something like that.
Speaker 1: It's very deceptive and something's wrong with him. So get
Speaker 1: him out, get rid of him as quickly as possible.
Speaker 1: If you want to confront him after the fact, go ahead.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I know there's some self satisfaction you
Speaker 1: think you're going to get by confronting people, but usually
Speaker 1: no psychopath that you're just going to get moral lies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think if you're already thinking about bringing
Speaker 3: up on him anyway, this is like way way way
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 9: This would be a reason to break up with someone
Speaker 9: if you weren't.
Speaker 4: Even if you weren't totally okay. Can viseectomies not work?
Speaker 4: Don't they like work all of the time?
Speaker 6: Or are there Well, it depends on how they did it.
Speaker 11: Now, if they burnt the ends of the tubes, then
Speaker 11: it should be done, unless he didn't get out eighty
Speaker 11: nuts before.
Speaker 6: But he got to visect me years before he meet.
Speaker 11: So the only other thing is if they tied it
Speaker 11: in a knot, then an could come untied and then
Speaker 11: it could float through the Those are the only two
Speaker 11: ways that I know of.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean well, yeah, wow, I didn't even
Speaker 1: think about that.
Speaker 9: Maybe it didn't work.
Speaker 11: I mean I would, I would handle business and I
Speaker 11: would let him know that I need to go back
Speaker 11: to the doctor. Yeah, and get your stuff checked because
Speaker 11: you because as far as I'm concerned, you're a liar
Speaker 11: or the doctor messed up the malpractice, because that's that
Speaker 11: is not true.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you have a visect me. It's not true.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, d best of luck to you.
Speaker 1: I'm with a lot of medical stuff because I'm a doctor,
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm a doctor.
Speaker 9: I'm a pharmacist or a doctor.
Speaker 1: She's a and I'm a pharmacist. We should of our
Speaker 1: own doctor medical facillin. Allow, we should open one up
Speaker 1: in my work gut.
Speaker 6: We could do it. We could, Yeah, we couldn't.
Speaker 1: Natural men diagnose them and then I prescribed.
Speaker 11: Well.
Speaker 3: Our first caller today is Miles, and Miles says, I
Speaker 3: was in a relationship for fifteen years and when it ended,
Speaker 3: I felt like I lost everything. I lost my wife,
Speaker 3: my house, my family, and the future I thought I
Speaker 3: was going to have. Now I'm living on my own
Speaker 3: for the first time. I'm finding it hard to make
Speaker 3: new friends, and honestly, the silence and loneliness can be overwhelming.
Speaker 3: One of the hardest parts is knowing my ex has
Speaker 3: already moved on and is in a new relationship while
Speaker 3: I'm still trying to figure out who I am on
Speaker 3: my own. How do I learn to be alone without
Speaker 3: feeling lonely? How do I build a new life when
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm starting from scratch? And how do
Speaker 3: I truly move on when the person I thought I'd
Speaker 3: spend my life with has already moved on?
Speaker 1: Miles, Hi, Miles, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello. This is our
Speaker 1: special guest today, Miss Tiffany Hattish is here.
Speaker 6: Hello.
Speaker 12: Oh my god, I saw you recently in Sydney. You're amazing.
Speaker 6: Yes, this person you were with a Bogan.
Speaker 12: Again.
Speaker 11: No, okay, I know, I know you're not all Bogans.
Speaker 6: I know that, I know.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 6: I was just checking.
Speaker 9: Well, that sounds like you're going through a really difficult time.
Speaker 12: It's been a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a lot. I'm reading this book. It's
Speaker 1: called This Is What Happens When Women Read that's the
Speaker 1: name of the book, and it's about someone going through
Speaker 1: not your exact situation, but like a kind of a
Speaker 1: complete like breakdown of what she thought was her life
Speaker 1: and the end of one of, you.
Speaker 9: Know, of a part of her life.
Speaker 1: And while that transition period, like what you're in right
Speaker 1: now is so scary and unknown and like you feel
Speaker 1: so destabilized, I can imagine and this is what you
Speaker 1: expected from your life. This period of time is temporary,
Speaker 1: it's not permanent, and what you do with this time
Speaker 1: time is going to is going to matter for the
Speaker 1: rest of your life. Like how you build and rebuild
Speaker 1: your life from here is going to be really vital
Speaker 1: to how you go through the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: And it's a huge opportunity for intense growth and immense growth,
Speaker 1: Like you want to really just dive in to actually
Speaker 1: sitting alone and being alone with those feelings. Really, I
Speaker 1: know it doesn't sound desirable and it's not fun to
Speaker 1: be feeling this way, but the best way to get
Speaker 1: through these things is to go straight through them and
Speaker 1: not to numb yourself with alcohol or drugs or any
Speaker 1: of that stuff, or exercise or whatever. Like you want
Speaker 1: to do whatever you're doing, but you don't want to
Speaker 1: numb yourself to what you're dealing with, because it's intensely painful,
Speaker 1: I understand, and you want to experience that pain because
Speaker 1: through that darkness you will find your light.
Speaker 9: I promise you.
Speaker 1: Everyone goes through really dark periods in their lives. Some
Speaker 1: are more intense than others. But you have I have
Speaker 1: a choice of how you handle it and how you
Speaker 1: come out the other side.
Speaker 11: And as someone who's been divorced and felt like everything
Speaker 11: like that, when yeah, it felt like it was death,
Speaker 11: death to the relationship in my mind kind of like
Speaker 11: he's dead to me, Like everything was like, yeah, it
Speaker 11: was dark. And what I did was I wallowed around
Speaker 11: in that shit for a little bit. I ain't gonna
Speaker 11: lie to you. I wallowed around in it, and I
Speaker 11: did get drunk, and I did a lot of stupid stuff,
Speaker 11: and I caused myself a lot of problems. Okay, And
Speaker 11: then my grandma snatched me up and she said, like,
Speaker 11: baby girl, baby girl, how long you're gonna be sad
Speaker 11: about this man that's probably not sad about you, that's
Speaker 11: probably already moved on, probably already doing somebody else. Like
Speaker 11: do things that you enjoy. Just start doing things that
Speaker 11: you enjoy, and if you don't enjoy nothing, pretend like
Speaker 11: you enjoy it. So I got myself a little groupine.
Speaker 11: I went to the little paint and sit classes. I
Speaker 11: didn't my girlfriends wanted to take me places, but they
Speaker 11: reminded me of him because that we all hung out together.
Speaker 11: So I didn't want to really be around this that much.
Speaker 11: I went to mail strip clubs. I watched men dance,
Speaker 11: and I threw money at them, twenty dollars. I never
Speaker 11: spent more than twenty dollars.
Speaker 6: And I yelled.
Speaker 11: I yelled really crazy things to them. Made I objectified
Speaker 11: those men, and that made me feel good. Now, probably
Speaker 11: was wrong, Probably should have been nice to those young men,
Speaker 11: but I was not. I let me say that dick
Speaker 11: slang motherfucker, dance better, bitch like. I was yelling stuff
Speaker 11: like that, and it was a good time. And then
Speaker 11: eleven months eleven months, I didn't date anybody else. And
Speaker 11: then I just like kind of like really started figuring
Speaker 11: out what do I want to do with my life,
Speaker 11: what do I want to be? I started getting I
Speaker 11: enrolled in acting classes. I enrolled in a calligraphy class,
Speaker 11: which was weird as hell because I have the worst
Speaker 11: handwriting and it was still bad. I failed back class,
Speaker 11: but also took a voice vocal lessons, a dialect lessons,
Speaker 11: like at speed reading class. I just started taking classes,
Speaker 11: any kind of class. I went to the am the
Speaker 11: AMAX at me.
Speaker 6: You know, they had the speakers and the people that
Speaker 6: teach little things.
Speaker 11: And then like, I went to the community College for
Speaker 11: a little bit, took a grooming dogs class, like and
Speaker 11: I'll just meet people in these classes. And then I
Speaker 11: would get on stage as much as possible because I'm
Speaker 11: a comedian. I would talk about my problems and the
Speaker 11: jokes didn't make no sense.
Speaker 6: Baby, y'all. It was bad. I was bombing, but it's okay.
Speaker 11: I was getting stuff off my chest, and I went
Speaker 11: to therapy. And after eleven months, then I started dating.
Speaker 11: And I started like, it's like the fog finally cleared.
Speaker 9: How long has it been for you?
Speaker 12: Well, it's been twelve months. But we lived together.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, you gotta get out of there.
Speaker 12: Yeah no, no, we're not anymore. So we had to
Speaker 12: live together. We have a five year old boy, so
Speaker 12: we had to sell our house. I moved out in March,
Speaker 12: bought my own place, so you know, I focused on,
Speaker 12: you know, getting in a promotion at work, making sure
Speaker 12: I bought my own place, so of all the right things,
Speaker 12: and then it's you know, now twelve months later, I've
Speaker 12: been living, you know, out on my own since March,
Speaker 12: and then all of a sudden, the craziness stops, and
Speaker 12: you know, all of the things that I wanted to
Speaker 12: achieve I've done, and now it's just like emptiness.
Speaker 11: Oh yeah, Now fill that up with something you always
Speaker 11: wanted to do. Crochet sew when maybe learn how to
Speaker 11: do here. Maybe become a dental high gennis, maybe you
Speaker 11: become a mechanic.
Speaker 6: Just pick up a little thing. You know.
Speaker 11: You went Australia. It's a gang of finance man out there.
Speaker 11: I would be hanging out at the little Is it
Speaker 11: a woman or a man that you're with where you
Speaker 11: were with?
Speaker 12: I was with a woman for fifty I would try
Speaker 12: a man.
Speaker 11: Now, see how I try try something different, Just see
Speaker 11: how it goes.
Speaker 6: You might not like it.
Speaker 11: You might be like, you know what, No, but it
Speaker 11: says a gang of finance min it's a gang of
Speaker 11: finance women too, so I would go enjoy it.
Speaker 12: I definitely have tried that.
Speaker 1: I think listen, first of all, you have to be
Speaker 1: grateful for all of the things that you have, Like
Speaker 1: you're not going through this and having financial struggles. You're
Speaker 1: not going through this and you're unhealthy, or you're sick,
Speaker 1: or you're kids sick or anything like that. Like you're
Speaker 1: feeling emptiness. That's a completely valid human emotion to feel.
Speaker 9: And feel it.
Speaker 1: But because it's not going to last forever, I promise you,
Speaker 1: you have to just feed your soul. You have to
Speaker 1: read books that are going to help you move on
Speaker 1: with your life. And what Tiffany is saying is great.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you did all that shit when you
Speaker 1: were going through your divorce.
Speaker 9: I mean, that's bad ass.
Speaker 1: To fill yourself up, Like do something that you never
Speaker 1: thought you do. Take a sailing class, or go take
Speaker 1: a pottery class, or do something that appeals to you,
Speaker 1: whatever that is. But just start giving to yourself more
Speaker 1: than you're giving in. It's okay to feel empty, it's
Speaker 1: okay to feel lonely, but you have to remember, like
Speaker 1: even the good times aren't permanent, so the bad times
Speaker 1: can't be permanent either.
Speaker 6: Or you could marry yourself. We could have a wedding
Speaker 6: for you, girl. We could put this out there together.
Speaker 1: Definitely just married herself two years ago. She's sending up
Speaker 1: on a two year anniversary.
Speaker 11: I'm coming up on that to year anniversary in August.
Speaker 11: Your congratulations, Yeah, I'm married me.
Speaker 1: Do you have a big support system?
Speaker 9: Do you have a good support system?
Speaker 12: So obviously I have my family, but you know, we
Speaker 12: were together a long time and we built a friendship
Speaker 12: group together. I think when she ended it, I stepped
Speaker 12: away because I didn't want to say anything hurtful or
Speaker 12: mean when I was angry to you know, mutual friends.
Speaker 12: So I'm slowly trying to get back into, you know,
Speaker 12: that friendship group that we had, but it's still awkward
Speaker 12: for me. I do have, you know, three really close friends,
Speaker 12: which is enough. Yeah, But now that I'm sort of
Speaker 12: living in back in the city in Sydney, you know,
Speaker 12: I want to go out and meet new people, but
Speaker 12: it's I feel like I'm not myself. It's just it's awkward.
Speaker 12: I've never been alone. And then obviously, you know, in
Speaker 12: terms of support, I have my son half the time,
Speaker 12: which is incredible.
Speaker 11: But you're a new self. You're not yourself. You're not
Speaker 11: yourself anymore. You're not that woman anymore that was married before.
Speaker 11: You are a new person now, so it's like, yeah,
Speaker 11: it's time to get to know you. It's time to
Speaker 11: get to know what you're really into it. For fifteen years,
Speaker 11: you were always consider it of this other person and
Speaker 11: what they liked and what can we do together? Now
Speaker 11: is what do I like? And what can I do
Speaker 11: with me that other people would want to do with
Speaker 11: me too?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I understand that you're like experiencing this is a
Speaker 1: great loss, but like you have to kind of flip
Speaker 1: the script on this because it's a new beginning in
Speaker 1: your life and even though it's not one that you
Speaker 1: necessarily chose, you have it now. You have all this
Speaker 1: opportunity for a whole new life and that's while that
Speaker 1: can be daunting, it's super fucking exciting also, So like
Speaker 1: you just want to change the way that you're talking
Speaker 1: to yourself about this experience. This is this is this
Speaker 1: can be the beginning of something very positive, and I
Speaker 1: know that it is. Every breakup leads to some rebirth,
Speaker 1: a new experience for people like no one. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's very rare that you hold on to a breakup
Speaker 1: for years and years and years. So I think let
Speaker 1: go of the fact that it's been a year, and
Speaker 1: let go of that time stamp in your head. It's
Speaker 1: not that pertinent. What you want to do is really
Speaker 1: a wake up and write down five things that are
Speaker 1: going well for you in your life. Write down how
Speaker 1: much you love your son. That you're grateful for your job,
Speaker 1: that you're grateful you've got a promotion, that you're financially
Speaker 1: secure and independent, that you have a beautiful house. Write
Speaker 1: down all of these things so you remind yourself of
Speaker 1: how lucky and fortunate you are. You're not sick, you're
Speaker 1: not broke, you're not you know, you have friends, you
Speaker 1: have family, you have wonderful things. You're just holding onto
Speaker 1: the pain, and in order to release the pain, you
Speaker 1: need to remind yourself of what's going well.
Speaker 6: Great advice, and don't be afraid to cry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't yeah, lean out so you laugh, yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: because you will start laughing.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 11: Crying is just a removal of all beliefs and a
Speaker 11: replacement of numans to create some new beliefs.
Speaker 1: But just try to shake off that feeling of awkwardness.
Speaker 1: When you feel that, like, try to let it loose,
Speaker 1: like just like let go of that. That's the old
Speaker 1: you that's somebody who's holding onto the past. So every
Speaker 1: time you think of that, just think of that Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift song. Shake it off, just like literally shake your
Speaker 1: body and be like, no, that's not who I am anymore,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And move through your life
Speaker 1: with that energy and just start uplifting yourself, because really,
Speaker 1: this is all you can ever do is be your
Speaker 1: own best advocate. You can't rely on other people to
Speaker 1: lift you up. You have to do it yourself.
Speaker 6: Now, are you trying to get back out there dating
Speaker 6: again or no? Not yet or what?
Speaker 11: No?
Speaker 12: No, not yet? I mean I have sort of gone
Speaker 12: out and met a few people, but no, I've just
Speaker 12: been trying to focus on my son, make sure he's
Speaker 12: mentally okay.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, focused on that.
Speaker 11: If you decide you want to start dating other people,
Speaker 11: let me know, because I know a few millionaire bitches
Speaker 11: that's you know, popping in Australia.
Speaker 12: You know, I'm not saying don't send them my wife.
Speaker 6: There we go.
Speaker 11: That's there because they know me while I was happy.
Speaker 4: That's the spirit that they were.
Speaker 1: But treat yourself with love and compassion. Okay, you are
Speaker 1: your best advocate and your happiness is important for your
Speaker 1: child happiness. So you got to just wake up every
Speaker 1: day and try and find the gratitude in where you
Speaker 1: are in this moment. And you're going to look back
Speaker 1: at this time in another year or two, I promise,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be like, wow, that was really tough
Speaker 1: and I got through that like a fucking champ.
Speaker 12: Oh you guys are incredible. I'm s so much better already.
Speaker 1: But what promised me that you'll wake up and write
Speaker 1: down five things every day that you're grateful for.
Speaker 12: Absolutely. I do love journaling, so.
Speaker 1: Okay, great, So yeah, do that every day because that
Speaker 1: just sets you up for success for your day. And
Speaker 1: when you get off track and you get sad it,
Speaker 1: do the same thing. Write it down again, write down
Speaker 1: another five things. Just every time you start to feel
Speaker 1: like you're not on your right path and that like
Speaker 1: spirit of like shaking it off and lifting up, then
Speaker 1: just remind yourself that you're healthy, you're strong, you're vibrant,
Speaker 1: you have a son, like things are going well.
Speaker 6: You winning?
Speaker 3: Yeah all right, myles, let us know what you sign
Speaker 3: up for, what you start doing, what you start enjoying
Speaker 3: that you didn't think you would enjoy.
Speaker 12: Yeah, let's see. Let's see, I'm looking forward to meeting
Speaker 12: those millionaire baches.
Speaker 1: We'll send you a direction link to Tiffany's website.
Speaker 6: I got got you.
Speaker 11: I'm for it, all your information information to know you,
Speaker 11: I'm gonna get you.
Speaker 6: You know what, I'm gonna just tell you what. I
Speaker 6: be hanging out.
Speaker 12: So lovely to make you guys.
Speaker 1: Thanks Miles, Thanks Miles, sending you lots of love.
Speaker 12: Na, thank you.
Speaker 4: Oh sweetie.
Speaker 1: It breaks my heart when people's hearts are broken, I know.
Speaker 3: And she's really only like three months out of the
Speaker 3: chaos part of it, so it's interesting that she says, like,
Speaker 3: now it just feels like there's nothing because there is
Speaker 3: some Like it's so stimulating to me in the chaos,
Speaker 3: even though.
Speaker 4: It's like bad. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1: It's like when you realize after a breakup there's a
Speaker 1: drama that comes with the breakup, right, and then when
Speaker 1: that goes away, it's almost like, well, now there's no one,
Speaker 1: you know, like even in the aftermath of the breakup,
Speaker 1: there's a there's a possibility of reconciliation, or there's drama
Speaker 1: attached that keeps the engine going.
Speaker 11: I don't have that much drama after my breakups just
Speaker 11: because I disappeared.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they had to like live together for like nine
Speaker 3: months after.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that would be that's messy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I disappear. You know, I'm a foster kid.
Speaker 11: I know how to evacuate the premises quickly and never
Speaker 11: show up again. I know how to do that. I
Speaker 11: hate that I do that. I hate that I do that,
Speaker 11: But I do that.
Speaker 1: Well, why do you hate that? You do it?
Speaker 11: Because I know that the other person wants to say
Speaker 11: more and do more, but it's like there's nothing else
Speaker 11: that could be said. There's nothing and I would love
Speaker 11: to be that ear for them to like pour their
Speaker 11: little heart out into. So they're not talking about me
Speaker 11: all over the world, but they gonna talk about me anyway,
Speaker 11: So just let it go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes you're Yeah, sometimes there's just too many conversations
Speaker 1: around the breakup.
Speaker 11: Right, And I don't even want to have them when
Speaker 11: I broke up with you know, a few people the
Speaker 11: last like I would say, the last four relationships I had.
Speaker 11: I think they thought I was gonna be like, why
Speaker 11: you don't want to we kept work on this. I'm like, uh,
Speaker 11: this seems like you want this to be over okay, cool,
Speaker 11: let's okay, you got your way.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna go mind and get my little defel bag. Bye.
Speaker 6: And they're like, wait, that's it, that's it, were done.
Speaker 12: Bye.
Speaker 11: See you're around. I'm always smiling. I always say hello
Speaker 11: when I see you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you actually you're right, you're I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously you're right because it's your life. But you aren't
Speaker 1: dramatic with breakups. Yeah, it's much better when it's not dramatic.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's much more assault like.
Speaker 11: It's better because they'd be like, you never really loved me.
Speaker 11: I'm like, but a man, you didn't fight for me.
Speaker 11: I'm not fighting. I'm not fighting for no man. There's
Speaker 11: too many of y'all out here.
Speaker 1: I was looking up the definition the difference between suppress
Speaker 1: and repress earlier because I always get confused by those
Speaker 1: two words, which one is conscious. Suppress is consciously when
Speaker 1: you consciously suppressed it, and repress is uncon I just
Speaker 1: thought i'd throw that out there in relation to what
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 9: And breakups.
Speaker 3: Well, our next question comes from Olivia and she says,
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, I never pictured myself writing into a podcast
Speaker 3: for advice on how to navigate men in the dating world.
Speaker 4: But here we are.
Speaker 3: I'm turning thirty five in May, and I have been
Speaker 3: seriously single for about six years. I have a good job,
Speaker 3: hobbies like camping and film photography, a dog, solived friendships,
Speaker 3: and a wonderful relationship with my family. I have my
Speaker 3: own radio show once a week on one of the
Speaker 3: local community stations here where I play tunes and chat music.
Speaker 3: I feel I have a lot to offer in a partnership,
Speaker 3: and that's exactly what I'm seeking a partner. I moved
Speaker 3: out to California on my own four years ago, and
Speaker 3: now I want someone to explore with. I'm on several
Speaker 3: dating apps, have been for a long time, and also
Speaker 3: try my hardest to put myself out there in the wild.
Speaker 3: But it seems, whether via an app or in person,
Speaker 3: there's no follow through from the guys, and they just
Speaker 3: seem lackluster about dating in general. Yeah, if and when
Speaker 3: I get a match, there is barely any follow through
Speaker 3: from them about wanting to get to know me or
Speaker 3: meet in person. It's beyond discouraging. I'm almost to the
Speaker 3: point where I've decided that my life might be better
Speaker 3: off without a man. I've enjoyed a lot of these
Speaker 3: last six years with just my dog. We have a
Speaker 3: peaceful existence and do as we please. Deep down, as
Speaker 3: much as I tell myself it doesn't matter. In the end,
Speaker 3: I want a partner. How do I keep putting in
Speaker 3: the effort when it feels totally unreciprocated by the opposite sex?
Speaker 1: Olivia, Hi, Olivia, Hello, This is Tiffany Hottish, our special guest.
Speaker 6: Hi girl, Hey, Hi, Hi.
Speaker 9: The good news is you're not alone.
Speaker 1: Many women are feeling this way, and I do think
Speaker 1: the apps and the social media aspect of everything has diminished.
Speaker 11: It's too many prositutes out here. Most of these women
Speaker 11: is prostitutes. Now they're making me so easy.
Speaker 6: No, this is real talk.
Speaker 11: I don't talk about fifty two dudes over the last
Speaker 11: seventeen days, and they all said, it's just really easy
Speaker 11: to just get us hundred dollars, and you can get
Speaker 11: a bed a beautiful woman for two hundred dollars and
Speaker 11: should do nasty things to you and go away.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you would do nasty things to somebody for free.
Speaker 6: So yeah, but it's gonna take them a year for
Speaker 6: me to do.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I would just say, you're open. You've put
Speaker 1: yourself out there, so that's like all you can really do.
Speaker 1: You and you you seem like a go getter. You've
Speaker 1: moved to California on your own, you have your own
Speaker 1: radio show, you have all these things going on for you.
Speaker 1: Like I would really just invest in yourself and just
Speaker 1: know that when the person comes along, they're going to
Speaker 1: come along, and you're gonna be ready for them, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Enjoy your time without the expectation
Speaker 1: of meeting the guy.
Speaker 9: And it's a guy you're looking for, not a woman.
Speaker 8: Yeah, right, I wish it was.
Speaker 9: I know it would be so much easier.
Speaker 8: I feel like it'd be so much easier. Yeah. And
Speaker 8: in fact, I'm back in Connecticut visiting my family right now,
Speaker 8: and I kind of told them that I was going
Speaker 8: to be talking to you guys. And I fight. I
Speaker 8: fight the I feel like oftentimes women are fighting the
Speaker 8: tide of like societal pressure, you know. When I talk
Speaker 8: to Catherine pre interview, I've been happy, like the last
Speaker 8: six years, right doing my thing, moving to California, but
Speaker 8: I do sometimes find myself camping around adventures, saying like
Speaker 8: it would be nice to have someone sitting here with me,
Speaker 8: like drinking a glass of wine, or jumping in this
Speaker 8: lake or sleeping in a tent.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 8: So I'm very confident and fine traveling alone.
Speaker 11: You know.
Speaker 8: I went to Italy for a month last year by myself,
Speaker 8: always just these lit Did you.
Speaker 6: Meet some guys there? And I say they horny Italy?
Speaker 12: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Girl, no what I know? And so oh I got.
Speaker 11: To say, you gotta come hang out with me. I
Speaker 11: gotta see what you're doing in these streets.
Speaker 9: You think you can help her?
Speaker 8: Just think so, sitting on the Spanish steps in Rome,
Speaker 8: saying it'd be nice to like have a glass of
Speaker 8: wine with someone. I'm loving traveling alone, but there are
Speaker 8: moments where I say to myself, it really would be
Speaker 8: nice to I think men too, I find between the
Speaker 8: ages of thirty five and thirty nine, think that have
Speaker 8: this like predisposition to think that women are looking for
Speaker 8: ringing and I just want someone to adventure with, have
Speaker 8: a good time, a committed partner in a way.
Speaker 12: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah I like that, I do.
Speaker 8: And yeah, it's just the last few experience I've had
Speaker 8: have just been a total letdown.
Speaker 1: So why don't you do this? Why don't you get
Speaker 1: off this call and write down the twenty things that
Speaker 1: you want in a man. Write down everything that you're
Speaker 1: looking for. It doesn't matter if it's materialistic or superficial,
Speaker 1: like the way they look. Whatever it is that comes
Speaker 1: into your head, the really most important twenty things to you.
Speaker 1: Write that down on a piece of paper, put it
Speaker 1: in a drawer, and don't look at it again, and
Speaker 1: go about your business and go about your life being
Speaker 1: grateful that you don't have the wrong guy in your life,
Speaker 1: or somebody who's draining you, or somebody you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, that you're not in a toxic relationship, you're free,
Speaker 1: you're independent, you have all this stuff going for you.
Speaker 1: The fact that you went to Italy for a month
Speaker 1: by yourself, that's badass. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: go to Italy by myself for a month. I don't
Speaker 1: even know how to find my way around, you know,
Speaker 1: places like I So like you're crushing life, and any
Speaker 1: guy that would get to be with you is a
Speaker 1: huge addition.
Speaker 9: It has to be a huge addition.
Speaker 1: And so I don't doubt that you're going to meet
Speaker 1: somebody that's going to fit the criteria. But I think
Speaker 1: you need to really put it out there and put
Speaker 1: it in your drawer and just leave it there and
Speaker 1: you can continue on the apps or you cannot, but
Speaker 1: really just enjoy the time that you have by yourself,
Speaker 1: and because it won't be forever, there will be somebody
Speaker 1: that comes along. There always is, whether it's your forever
Speaker 1: person or just somebody for a few months, somebody will
Speaker 1: come into your life.
Speaker 8: I think I go back and forth about the apps
Speaker 8: because they can become a really dark ye at a
Speaker 8: dark place, and so that was also something I wanted
Speaker 8: to pick your brain about the apps, because I know
Speaker 8: I've heard you do your stand up and talk how
Speaker 8: you dabbled in the apps. I think for like a bit,
Speaker 8: and I'm at to the point now where I don't
Speaker 8: want to pay for them anymore and I kind of
Speaker 8: just want to delete them and maybe, like just as
Speaker 8: you were saying, let the chips fall, kind of real
Speaker 8: they will. I just feel like there's no success on there.
Speaker 3: Are you ever asking somebody out when you like are
Speaker 3: out in the wild and you feel a vibe with
Speaker 3: like the cube race.
Speaker 8: Or when I did that. I did that about a
Speaker 8: month ago. I met a guy at a birthday party
Speaker 8: and we hit it off. I was traveling, he was traveling.
Speaker 8: We said, let's get in touch when we get back.
Speaker 8: He got in touch with me. We went to a
Speaker 8: little music festival up the coast. We had a great time,
Speaker 8: invited him back down tour I was living. We didn't
Speaker 8: have sex or anything. We hooked up. He in fact
Speaker 8: said that he was trying to approach his relationships differently
Speaker 8: and take things slow. So I thought, okay, these are
Speaker 8: like green flags and as it goes and what I've
Speaker 8: been experiencing the last last six years. The next morning,
Speaker 8: he was saying how he could. He thought his summer
Speaker 8: was going to be like his alone time and he
Speaker 8: wasn't ready to like commit to anything yet, but that
Speaker 8: we should stay in touch. And you know, I asked
Speaker 8: him to hang out a few more. It was kind
Speaker 8: of just like a ghosting thing, like I asked him
Speaker 8: to hang out again. I told him my coming up
Speaker 8: to San Francisco, and I just never heard from him.
Speaker 6: Girl block that motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Well, she doesn't have to block him because he's not
Speaker 1: to connect with her.
Speaker 8: Tiffany, what this guy still does is he'll like my
Speaker 8: Instagram stories.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is, So are you listening. I hope
Speaker 1: you are sending this episode, because honestly, I hate this
Speaker 1: ship with this idea that a man like this is.
Speaker 1: This is why they I know, but don't.
Speaker 11: That's the hole, okay, And that's what he wanted to
Speaker 11: be was a how did he eat your ask at
Speaker 11: least like at the end of the day, like like,
Speaker 11: and that's why you move on, move on if I
Speaker 11: was you personally, Okay.
Speaker 6: So I like Bumble. I don't know about y'all, but
Speaker 6: I like going on. I like going on Bubble.
Speaker 11: And what I've noticed is okay, So I'll go to
Speaker 11: a new place, uh, and I'll like pick you know,
Speaker 11: you could pick. Look, and so I look for guys
Speaker 11: where I'm going to go, Like I'm going to Louisville,
Speaker 11: Kentucky this week. So I look for guys on there
Speaker 11: and their shock that is me. They're like, don't believe
Speaker 11: it's me. And what I love about Bumble is you
Speaker 11: can FaceTime with them through the app and they never
Speaker 11: have your phone number, right, It's so hard I could tell.
Speaker 11: And I tell them, Look, I'm not trying to have
Speaker 11: no boyfriend. I'm not looking for nothing serious. I'm coming
Speaker 11: to your town. I want to do something fun. I
Speaker 11: want you to take me somewhere in your town that's fun.
Speaker 11: You're gonna have to and it better be a good time.
Speaker 11: And don't be smelling funny, don't be looking crazy. Don't
Speaker 11: be there, because I will talk about you to your face, sir.
Speaker 11: Every single one's like, oh, Mary, challenge accepted, like and
Speaker 11: they show up right and I just give them kind
Speaker 11: of like a criteria of what they gotta do before
Speaker 11: they even like, get in my space if you're trying
Speaker 11: to be in my space, because I think men love challenges,
Speaker 11: men love rules and and rules of engagement, and like,
Speaker 11: oh can I push the boundaries with her? And then
Speaker 11: and then I'll tell them by the end of the
Speaker 11: day that like, hey man, this was super fun. Thanks
Speaker 11: for taking me to this music. Thanks for showing me
Speaker 11: a piece of your town. I don't ever want to
Speaker 11: see you again. They'd be like, what, yeah, I'm cool
Speaker 11: on you, bro, like this, but this was an amazing experience.
Speaker 6: I had a good time.
Speaker 11: Then that guy is constantly sending me messages in Bumble
Speaker 11: like can you hang out again?
Speaker 6: Then he starts following me on.
Speaker 11: Instagram like hey, it was really you, and I really
Speaker 11: want to hang out look to check out this thing,
Speaker 11: and then they're sending me facts about their town and ship
Speaker 11: like and I appreciate it, but that that wasn't the
Speaker 11: guy for me. But also girl farmers only dot com
Speaker 11: if you it's some men with land that know.
Speaker 6: That understands cycles.
Speaker 1: Instinct.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but they understand available patient.
Speaker 11: You could tell them any motherfucking thing you let you
Speaker 11: get away with it, like the guy from.
Speaker 8: No. I don't know about success I have.
Speaker 11: I've had fun. I've had fun. I haven't had sex
Speaker 11: with anybody on there. I don't have a boy friend
Speaker 11: from there. But I've made some really great friends. I've
Speaker 11: learned a lot about the land. I've learned a lot
Speaker 11: about the vessels. And you know, as a business woman,
Speaker 11: you know, I'm always like and I'm into food and stuff,
Speaker 11: so I want to I only want to be around
Speaker 11: people that's into what I'm into. Right, So I've been
Speaker 11: learning so much. I done made some investments too land. Yeah,
Speaker 11: in farmland, not necessarily a guy who I was dating Farmland,
Speaker 11: but like in anyways, it doesn't matter. I made investments
Speaker 11: meeting these guys, and I'm learning. I think I'm learning
Speaker 11: a lot. Like at the end of the day, I'm
Speaker 11: not going into it thinking of, oh, I'm gonna get
Speaker 11: a husband. I'm going in like I want, like you said,
Speaker 11: a partner. I want to grow with somebody. I want
Speaker 11: to learn something. Can you teach me something? Like I
Speaker 11: ask every guy, can what you're gonna teach me today?
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to teach me something.
Speaker 11: I'm like thirsty for knowledge, sir. Some of these women
Speaker 11: out here thirsty for dick. I'm thirsty for knowledge.
Speaker 1: Another thing you can do is can you can geo
Speaker 1: target where you live? You know what I mean? And
Speaker 1: for Instagram and kind of slide into people's dms.
Speaker 8: Oh interesting, you know.
Speaker 1: What I mean, Like look at their profile. That kind
Speaker 1: of gives you a nice full picture of what's happening
Speaker 1: if they're married or if they have a girlfriend, or
Speaker 1: you know what the situation is, and like look within
Speaker 1: your area and just start like you know, browsing, use
Speaker 1: that as a dating app.
Speaker 6: That makes to yet a dmy You're.
Speaker 1: Fully you know, you're you have no problem like approaching
Speaker 1: a man. I mean, listen, you're my hero. From this call.
Speaker 1: You're doing everything fucking right. So like I love it.
Speaker 1: A lot of women don't have the balls to go
Speaker 1: up and ask men like to go out.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 1: I can even be shy around that myself, which doesn't
Speaker 1: really make much sense.
Speaker 9: Yeah, just because yeah, yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: Just girl stuff. But I love what you're doing. I
Speaker 1: love everything you're doing, and it's just like, enjoy yourself.
Speaker 6: Are you afraid to date younger?
Speaker 8: I'm not afraid to date younger, but I do I
Speaker 8: feel like there should. I feel like my cap is
Speaker 8: like twenty eight.
Speaker 11: Because I noticed twenty six year old dude, he's six
Speaker 11: foot two, very hands, he might be six foot fowhere.
Speaker 1: Where do you live in California?
Speaker 8: Santa Cruz, California.
Speaker 6: Oh he's in LA.
Speaker 8: Here's my thing. Like, even guys who are like the
Speaker 8: immaturity just lasts for like so long. So my fear
Speaker 8: with dating younger is like, yeah, I can't even get like.
Speaker 11: But if they're a business man, there's younger business Like,
Speaker 11: there's all souls out here.
Speaker 6: They approached me all the time. There's some young bro
Speaker 6: men out here.
Speaker 8: I think one of my good qualities is that I
Speaker 8: am open.
Speaker 3: So Okay, this might not be your vibe, but just
Speaker 3: hear me out. I think a lot of women who
Speaker 3: are into a masculine guy need to start seeing about
Speaker 3: dating transmen because you have like the personality you have,
Speaker 3: like they were raised right.
Speaker 4: And then you have all the masculine qualities of a man.
Speaker 1: If this is the second time you've brought that up,
Speaker 1: it feels like you want a data transfer. I mean,
Speaker 1: and you're happily married, but you know, I mean, you
Speaker 1: shouldn't really transmit out.
Speaker 8: No, I'm not there's I'm not really like I said,
Speaker 8: I'm very open. It's just the years keep rolling on.
Speaker 9: You know, how old are you?
Speaker 8: She's thirty, I'm thirty five.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 9: I think you're probably going to meet somebody, you know.
Speaker 1: I don't know that you're going to marry someone, but
Speaker 1: you're definitely going to meet a couple more guys in
Speaker 1: your life like that.
Speaker 11: State sales, funerals. It's always vulnerable men at funerals.
Speaker 6: I've met. I've dated a lot of men at.
Speaker 11: From funerals, and they spoil you too because they trying
Speaker 11: to feel better. Uh didn't I say it? Stay sales
Speaker 11: auctions are usually good. There's a lot of good men here.
Speaker 11: Grocery stores near gyms, a place to meet. Your grocery
Speaker 11: store near the gym is the best place, not in
Speaker 11: the gym, but ba.
Speaker 1: So if you're in Santa Cruz, join a biking group
Speaker 1: or join a hiking group or whatever, rock climbing, whatever,
Speaker 1: you're in services and find some you know, find some
Speaker 1: different kind of groups of people that way.
Speaker 8: Yeah, joining groups, that's something. Yeah, I moved there. I've moved.
Speaker 8: I've been in California for four years. I've been in
Speaker 8: Santa Cruz for a little over a year, so still
Speaker 8: kind of I've just now started feeling applimated.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You so you're new to that area, So yeah,
Speaker 1: give it a little bit more time.
Speaker 9: I bet you're going to meet someone.
Speaker 11: Yeah, you're pretty. You're gonna pull fast if you just
Speaker 11: like I just gonna have fun. Ah, yes, she will
Speaker 11: be mine.
Speaker 8: This is a good story to tell. My girlfriends were like,
Speaker 8: you got to tell this story. I met a gay
Speaker 8: a dating app in San Francisco, and it very soon
Speaker 8: into the day. I was like, oh, this is going
Speaker 8: to be a good time, not a long time sort
Speaker 8: of situation, which I was into because again just trying
Speaker 8: to like make connections. We ended up being in Las Vegas,
Speaker 8: at the same time for a concert, and he met
Speaker 8: up with a bunch of my friends and I hadn't
Speaker 8: gotten laid in a really long time, and they were like,
Speaker 8: this is your night, like the guy from San Francisco's
Speaker 8: in Las Vegas, like perfect, perfect, perfect. We go back
Speaker 8: up to the hotel room. We're hooking up. Inches from penetration.
Speaker 8: He tells me has an STD.
Speaker 6: Oh hell, it's not the time.
Speaker 1: At least he told you, I know, But at least
Speaker 1: he told you what was the STD? What was the STD?
Speaker 8: Herpes?
Speaker 1: And was he having an outbreak or herpy outbreak or
Speaker 1: he just.
Speaker 8: He wasn't having an outbreak?
Speaker 1: But oh well, that's very responsible.
Speaker 8: But I wasn't an out But he didn't have a condom?
Speaker 9: Right, yes, but he did the right thing.
Speaker 6: I'm a jack you off.
Speaker 1: But where is that guy now?
Speaker 8: He's traveling the world somewhere.
Speaker 1: Catching more stvs. So okay, well, okay, well, at least
Speaker 1: he told you. So that's not the worst thing in
Speaker 1: the world.
Speaker 8: No, it's not. But between that interaction and the one
Speaker 8: who keeps liking my Instagram stories, I just am like,
Speaker 8: those are the latest interactions I've had with the male species.
Speaker 1: My my Listen, there are a lot better than some
Speaker 1: of the other stories that are out there. And my
Speaker 1: advice to all women is to stop fucking looking to
Speaker 1: check and see who is looking at your Instagram stories.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. If that person wants to contact you,
Speaker 1: there will, and it's not because they're looking through your
Speaker 1: stories like it's like watching someone watching TV. It does
Speaker 1: Does it matter who's looking through your Instagram stories? It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter unless that person sends you a message about
Speaker 1: your Instagram story and then you want to talk, and
Speaker 1: then they're initiating a conversation. So I would just stop
Speaker 1: looking at that.
Speaker 8: You're very right. I think it's just this this kind
Speaker 8: of like maddening, Like Okay, I never heard from him, right,
Speaker 8: and he didn't text me back? Why is he liking
Speaker 8: my story? Like get out of my life? So Tiffany's point,
Speaker 8: I think I'm just gonna like remove him.
Speaker 6: Yeah, mute is as black and black?
Speaker 11: What he what he got to call you to be like, hey,
Speaker 11: I can't see you on the stories more. Well, you're
Speaker 11: not supposed to see me no more. You're a ghost
Speaker 11: boom all right, keep us posted. Will you let us
Speaker 11: know a few months if you meet someone.
Speaker 6: What the vibe is.
Speaker 8: Okay, I will do that, and I am gonna take
Speaker 8: your advice.
Speaker 11: I want to invitation to your baby shower and to
Speaker 11: your wedding. I predict that in two years she will
Speaker 11: be getting married. Okay, it will be very pregnant, and
Speaker 11: I'll make sure invitation. Okay you want, okay, whatever, You're
Speaker 11: gonna be pregnant if you might not have it, but
Speaker 11: in two years, in two years, mark my word, In
Speaker 11: two years, you're gonna be like dang, Tiffany said. I'm
Speaker 11: not saying I'm psychic, but my instincts tell me in
Speaker 11: two years, it's you're gonna be hemmed up. You're gonna
Speaker 11: be cooking and cleaning and all this stuff and happy
Speaker 11: as here.
Speaker 8: Okay, I like that mindset. I'm gonna take your advice, though, Chelsea,
Speaker 8: and write down, put it in a.
Speaker 11: Drawer, write it down, help and right down. Tiffany said,
Speaker 11: in two years, I'm gonna be in a relationship.
Speaker 4: Recorded.
Speaker 11: Yes, I want the invitation to the wedding and the
Speaker 11: baby shower, because I know you say you're not you're
Speaker 11: not thinking about having nobody's but you're gonna have a baby.
Speaker 6: You're gonna have two of them.
Speaker 11: We will come and we will be like the party.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you so much, take care of Thank you.
Speaker 1: That was that was she was awesome.
Speaker 9: She's great. That was great.
Speaker 6: Guests.
Speaker 1: Thank you you you're a great guest. Tiffany, I promise.
Speaker 4: With your nonsense.
Speaker 1: Her full name is Tiffany Sarah Cornelia Hattish.
Speaker 9: Did you know that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I knew that?
Speaker 9: Did you?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And her new movie, Haunted Heist is on video on
Speaker 1: Maya Baby Yea.
Speaker 6: I love you, I love you.
Speaker 3: If you want advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production
Speaker 3: of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler
Speaker 3: and find Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea
Speaker 3: is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law.
Speaker 3: Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and
Speaker 3: get tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahandler dot com