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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: When I hear women say I take care of everybody

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Speaker 2: and not myself, you failed everybody, including yourself, that is

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Speaker 2: the truth in that statement. Nobody likes a mark, nobody

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Speaker 2: appreciates a martyr. So when I hear that, I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: you don't. That's a humble brag, right, And it's not true.

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Speaker 2: It's a bold faced lie, because there's no way you

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Speaker 2: can take care of everybody and not yourself and have

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Speaker 2: those people actually cared for and have those needs actually

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Speaker 2: met and you didn't take care of yourself. It is impossible.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivating her dot com to access

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Speaker 1: our exclusive after show and other bonus content from the

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Speaker 1: Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: You welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to

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Speaker 3: uplifting women like you. We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Bussard,

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Speaker 3: a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 4: five rooids to fake friends and create a safe space

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Speaker 4: where black women can just be Hey, lady, it's Terry

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Speaker 4: here from the Cultivating her Space podcast. I'm hosting a

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Speaker 4: free podcasting masterclass where I'm going to teach you how

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Speaker 4: to create your impactful podcast and how you can generate

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Speaker 4: multiple streams of income. You can visit podcast with Terry

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Speaker 4: dot com to register for free. I hope to see

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Speaker 4: you there. All right, lady, we are super excited about

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Speaker 4: today's guests, so we're just gonna jump right on in, okay.

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Speaker 4: Doctor Lashanda T. Green, NBA is a licensed clinical psychologist

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Speaker 4: who has in her personal savvy and business acumen that'll

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Speaker 4: help you change your life and the way you do business.

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Speaker 4: She earned her doctor in Clinical Psychology from the American

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Speaker 4: Psychological Association at LaSalle University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and as

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Speaker 4: a clinical psychologist, Doctor Lashanda is akin to a hope whisper.

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Speaker 4: Simply put, she Instill's hope. Where there is despondency, worthlessness,

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Speaker 4: and anglessness, you'll find doctor Lashanda creating interventions and earnestly

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Speaker 4: maneuvering through scores of pain and unresolved trauma to provide

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Speaker 4: relief and optimism. So if you need relief and optimism, lady,

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Speaker 4: you are in the right place, Doctor Lashanda. We are

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Speaker 4: so excited to have you here. Welcome to cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, thanks for having me on this wonderful platform.

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Speaker 2: I am honored, thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 3: We I mean, just listening to your bio, I am

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Speaker 3: just I am excited for this conversation. So, doctor Lashanda,

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Speaker 3: we are going to start off with a quote of

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Speaker 3: the day. Now, our quote of the day will sound

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Speaker 3: really familiar to you because we've been all up in

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Speaker 3: your Instagram and on your website and so we have

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Speaker 3: found your words. Lady, if you do not follow doctor

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Speaker 3: Lashanda on Instagram, you need to check her out because

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Speaker 3: on a regular basis, the quotes are just inspirational and

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Speaker 3: help you put yourself in check real quick in a

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Speaker 3: good way.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, for sure out of the.

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Speaker 3: Day you cannot outperform an unhealthy mindset. I'm gonna say

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Speaker 3: that one more time.

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Speaker 2: For those people in the back.

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Speaker 3: You cannot outperform an unhealthy mindset.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, that is absolutely the case. Because the mind is

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Speaker 2: the mind. The brain is the bedrock for behavior. Right,

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Speaker 2: So mostly everything, if not everything, stems from your brain. Right.

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Speaker 2: It is a fascinating organism. And people will innocently think

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Speaker 2: that they can achieve whatever they set their mind to

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Speaker 2: or whatever they want to in terms of what they feel,

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Speaker 2: but not understanding that along with what you feel, your

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Speaker 2: mentality and your thought life has to align with your emotions.

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Speaker 2: Ideally to be able to be productive and effective while

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Speaker 2: you feel one thing and think another is a skill

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Speaker 2: that has to be acquired. So that's not natural, right,

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Speaker 2: that's something you actually have to work on in therapy.

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Speaker 2: But in order to really achieve what you set out

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Speaker 2: to do, your emotions have to align with your thought life.

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Speaker 2: And so if you are carrying around negative thinking, unhealthy

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Speaker 2: thinking patterns, maladapt of cognitions, that's really jargoning. But if

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Speaker 2: you're thinking thinking that I like it, I like a

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Speaker 2: little something. If you have nasty, foul thinking, that self

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Speaker 2: defeating and self destructing your thought life and what you

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Speaker 2: achieve in life is going to reflect what you're thinking.

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Speaker 2: So if you feel self defeated, if you think you cannot,

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Speaker 2: then you absolutely will not. This is not anything new,

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Speaker 2: like literally, there's nothing new under the sun, but it

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Speaker 2: does bear repeating because people continuously underestimate the power of

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Speaker 2: the mind because it's so it's almost too simple, right,

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Speaker 2: And so sometimes in order to excuse away unhealthy behavior,

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Speaker 2: in order to make excuses for poor performance, we would

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Speaker 2: like to over complicate things. That's a thinking disorder, that's

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Speaker 2: a thinking distortion, that's a cognitive distortion. We call that

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Speaker 2: intellectualization when you sort of make something that's very simple

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Speaker 2: and you want to make it complicated and academic and educate,

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Speaker 2: because then that can explain away your lack of motivation,

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Speaker 2: your poor performance, your apathy, your inconsistency. That's when we

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Speaker 2: sort of create this map. That's where that's saying comes from.

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Speaker 2: You can't don't create a mountain out of a mohill.

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Speaker 2: Did I say that right? Yes?

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Speaker 4: Yes, so yes.

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Speaker 2: If you have foul thinking, you're going to have foul results,

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Speaker 2: that's the bottom line. And even if you have healthy

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Speaker 2: thinking and you're right on target with your thought life,

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Speaker 2: even if you make a misstep or a mistake, Having

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Speaker 2: a healthy thought life will allow you to pivot and rebound, right,

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Speaker 2: and grit and resilience has not talked about enough right,

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Speaker 2: which is very different from avoidance. So even if you

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Speaker 2: made a misstep, and I believe that failure does happen,

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Speaker 2: and you failed at something, having a healthy thought life

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Speaker 2: or healthy cognitions or a healthy way of thinking allows

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Speaker 2: you to regroup and allows you to pivot. It allows

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Speaker 2: you to be flexible. Right, Being cognitively flexible, and my

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Speaker 2: God is a superpower. Okay, Oh yes, I love it.

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Speaker 3: I love it.

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Speaker 2: Doctor you are you are?

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Speaker 3: I mean, from the out the gate you have got

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Speaker 3: us going and I appreciate that. But we're gonna rewind

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Speaker 3: just a little bit. Okay, ye I know that Terry

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Speaker 3: at the beginning read your amazing bio right right, But

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Speaker 3: we want to hear from you. What is your origin story?

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Speaker 3: How did you get to be the doctor Lashonda that

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Speaker 3: we see and hear from today.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's a very interesting story. I set out to

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Speaker 2: be and I'm still convinced of this. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: be the CEO president of my own publishing company. I'm

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Speaker 2: convinced someone who produced Living Single Kadija Queena Tifa's character.

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Speaker 2: She has labor magazine. Someone met me and then created

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Speaker 2: that character. I'm fully convinced because I wanted to have

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Speaker 2: my own magazine. I started out wanting to be a

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Speaker 2: mockbreaker like investigative style reporter like twenty twenty. That was

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Speaker 2: my mission. So I have an undergrad associates and communications

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Speaker 2: because I was on my way to being a reporter,

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Speaker 2: because I am a good interviewer. You know, my style

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Speaker 2: is very sort of investigative. So I was on a

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Speaker 2: different path I was going to be. I was going

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Speaker 2: to come over here to New York and work for

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Speaker 2: Condon Ass and I was going to have this fabulous

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Speaker 2: publication and so I had this vision, but it didn't

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Speaker 2: work like that. So one thing after another, I was

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Speaker 2: undergrad and I was like, oh, I need more. I'm

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Speaker 2: very gold driven, right, And that's also a problem because

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Speaker 2: at times I suffer from destination disease and that I'm

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Speaker 2: always striving to destination disease. That's Bishop dal Browner. I

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Speaker 2: got this from him. Let's get credit with credit. That's

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Speaker 2: when you're always striving for something the next thing. I'm

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Speaker 2: very goal oriented, and sometimes my ambitions will allow me

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Speaker 2: to be in the moment and settled. And it's not

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Speaker 2: that I'm trying to compete or trying to get anything.

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Speaker 2: I'm not trying to outshine, right because I don't have

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Speaker 2: a Gucci back. I like last year's Kate Spade from

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Speaker 2: TJ Max, So I don't need I'm not trying to

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Speaker 2: outshine anybody. I just naturally am goal driven. So sometimes

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Speaker 2: destination disease takes over. I'm like learning to be content, right,

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Speaker 2: So I was in the throes of destination disease, I

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Speaker 2: was like, it's more this more, I've got to accomplish more.

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Speaker 2: And so that led me to my MBA and then

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, this is a bunch

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Speaker 2: of numbers.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: When you're an NBA, the mantrat is create shareholder value.

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Speaker 2: It's very much a numbers driven, bottom line quantitative profession.

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Speaker 2: But I was like, I need a social aspect to

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Speaker 2: my profession. While I like numbers because I'm a very

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Speaker 2: bottom line, concrete thinker, I also need the social aspect,

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Speaker 2: the social engagement piece. So after much prayer, because I'm

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Speaker 2: a believer, I said, oh, what is my path? I

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Speaker 2: need my path? And so actually I after much prayer

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Speaker 2: was revealed to me, got revealed to me to go

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Speaker 2: into psychology because I have the gift of healing. And

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Speaker 2: that's I said all that to say healing, That's what

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Speaker 2: I said said. So that's what makes me particularly good

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Speaker 2: because it is divine, it was divinely inspired.

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Speaker 4: I love that you shared your background and I love

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Speaker 4: that even a woman that's you know, achieve what you've

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Speaker 4: achieved talks about destination disorder because I think many of

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Speaker 4: us can relate to that, and Dom and I have

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Speaker 4: talked about it on the podcast too. Can you share

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Speaker 4: some tips that you recommend for black women and entrepreneurs

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Speaker 4: to minimize burnout or destination disorder? Like, what are some

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Speaker 4: of the best practice that you could share?

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Speaker 2: Well, First and foremost, let's start with the mentality right,

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Speaker 2: self care is crucial. Self preservation is key, and self

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Speaker 2: preservation and self care is very different from selfishness.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 2: Selfishness is pathological, is very negative in nature, and what

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Speaker 2: selfishness means is that basically you'll cut the next person's

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Speaker 2: throat and you would do damage and service of your goal.

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Speaker 2: And that's really self Self preservation is when you are

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Speaker 2: meeting your needs in a way that honors you any

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Speaker 2: other person, right, and the people around you, the people

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Speaker 2: you are in business with, the people who love you,

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Speaker 2: the people you love. When your selfish, you're just doing

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Speaker 2: anything to serve you. Right. So, self preservation has a

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Speaker 2: dual function that you are preserving yourself, you're caring for

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Speaker 2: yourself and and then you're caring for yourself, you are

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Speaker 2: allowing yourself to care for other people. When other people

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Speaker 2: that is a love language. When you care for yourself,

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Speaker 2: people who love you value that and it makes them

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Speaker 2: want to love you more because you appreciating you inspires

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Speaker 2: them to appreciate you more. So people need to see

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Speaker 2: that you do love you and that that's the bar

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Speaker 2: that you've set for yourself. The self love is not

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Speaker 2: to say, oh I don't need anybody because I got me.

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Speaker 2: That's not what self love is. Self love is an

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Speaker 2: act of love that inspires other people to join in

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Speaker 2: and say this is where I'm in join me in

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Speaker 2: this love space. But it's definitely not to say it's

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Speaker 2: not exclusionary. It's definitely not exclusionary. And I think it

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Speaker 2: has become that it is taking on that sort of

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Speaker 2: toxic definition, oh I don't need it. I'm so this,

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Speaker 2: I'm so that, But it's not the case. That's not

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Speaker 2: it at all. So no one likes a martyr, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I can't. My pet peeve is when I hear black

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Speaker 2: women say, oh my god, I take care of everybody

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Speaker 2: and not myself. That really is a lie. First of all,

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Speaker 2: when I hear it, I don't believe it. Okay, when

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Speaker 2: I hear it, I don't believe it. I heard. And

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Speaker 2: what really annoys me is like women wear that as

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Speaker 2: a badge of honor. I take care of everyone except myself,

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Speaker 2: and I have nothing. That means you failed everyone, including yourself.

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Speaker 2: That's what I hear when I hear women say I

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Speaker 2: take care of everybody and not myself. You failed everybody,

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Speaker 2: including yourself. That is the truth in that statement. Nobody

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Speaker 2: likes a mark, nobody appreciates a martyr. So when I

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Speaker 2: hear that, I'm like, no, you don't. That's a humble brag, right,

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Speaker 2: And it's not true. It's a bold faced lie because

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Speaker 2: there's no way you can take care of everybody and

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Speaker 2: not yourself and had those people actually cared for and

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Speaker 2: have those needs actually met and you didn't take care

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Speaker 2: of yourself. It is impossible. So I say self preservation

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Speaker 2: is key, and that means get what your mind needs,

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Speaker 2: your body needs, and your soul needs. Right and and

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Speaker 2: so today second knowledge, they don't really subscribe to the

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Speaker 2: soul construct, right, I thowt that in there for people

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Speaker 2: who are not necessarily Christians but have a spiritual self.

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Speaker 2: So you have to get what your mind needs, you

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Speaker 2: have to get with your body needs, you have to

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Speaker 2: get with your soul needs. All three. Now, it is

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Speaker 2: true that you won't meet them to the same degree

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Speaker 2: all of the time, but neither one of those three

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Speaker 2: elements should be gone empty. You can approach zero, but

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Speaker 2: not reach it. So know that you have your mind,

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Speaker 2: your body, and soul. Know that all three have to

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Speaker 2: be met. And although all three of them won't be

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Speaker 2: met to the same degree, neither one, none of the

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Speaker 2: three should ever approach zero.

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Speaker 4: That's a word right there, doctr Lashanda. I do want

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Speaker 4: to say. You know, when you're in church and the

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Speaker 4: pastor says something, and you my pastors to say, if

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Speaker 4: you can't say amen, say out. I feel like a

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Speaker 4: lot of there are gonna be a lot of black

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Speaker 4: women that hear what you just said about I take

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Speaker 4: care of everybody else, but now myself. Can we can

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Speaker 4: we like double tap into that a little bit and

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Speaker 4: can you talk more about it? Because I feel like

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Speaker 4: some people are gonna be a little triggered or a

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Speaker 4: little hurt, So can we talk about that a little

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Speaker 4: bit more?

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Speaker 2: They're gonna be like what out ouch ouch? I think

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Speaker 2: a lot of women think that they're saying something amiable

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Speaker 2: and they're absolutely not your acts telling on yourself because emotionally,

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Speaker 2: that's very immature language.

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Speaker 5: It's really is if you really and it's very arrogant

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Speaker 5: as well, because if you really think that you can

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Speaker 5: pour from an empty cup and you're still going to

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Speaker 5: meet the needs of the people in your life, you.

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Speaker 2: Are a fool. It's not true. And the only way

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Speaker 2: you are continuing to do that is if you're continuing

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Speaker 2: to lie to yourself. Because I can guarantee you the

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Speaker 2: people who are in your circle, who you say you love,

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Speaker 2: who you need to whose needs you need to meet,

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Speaker 2: they're not being honest with you. They're not being honest

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Speaker 2: with you. They either resent you because you believe that

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Speaker 2: they are either angry with you because their needs are

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Speaker 2: not actually being met, and they're very disappointed in you,

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of negativity, So the people who actually

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Speaker 2: see you are not seeing you as the superwoman that

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Speaker 2: you think you are portraying. That's another level. So although

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Speaker 2: in your mind you think you may be coming across

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Speaker 2: as a superwoman, to the people who are looking at you,

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Speaker 2: you very much look like you are struggling and drowning.

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Speaker 2: So there's a huge disconnect. There's no real true self

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Speaker 2: awareness because how you think you're coming across is not

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Speaker 2: the case. What people are actually seeing as you are failing,

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Speaker 2: because it does happen. They see someone who's struggling, who

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Speaker 2: is ill equipped, doesn't have the capacity to meet her

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Speaker 2: needs or the people around her. And so what happens

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Speaker 2: the children rebel, your husband seeks something outside the whole,

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Speaker 2: not saying that that's your fault, but noticing that they're

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Speaker 2: absolutely are consequences and there is a fallout to behavior there.

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Speaker 2: We like to call it a correlation. Yeah, some people

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Speaker 2: are going to be hurt, but that's the true I

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Speaker 2: can't weep this and go on all the days of

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Speaker 2: Aunt Mabeline and Aunt Jemima and all that. No, no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: please let it go. I don't like a martyr, I

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Speaker 2: don't like a martyr. Get your hair done, get your

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Speaker 2: feet done. If you are a married woman or a girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: or you have a partner, it should all be together.

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Speaker 2: It should be together. Find your if you haven't been

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Speaker 2: to a nel salon, find your way, get the hair done,

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Speaker 2: and yes, let's tighten it up for real.

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Speaker 3: And even if you don't have a partner. No, for ourselves, yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: because if you don't like who you see, how can

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Speaker 3: you expect others to like who you see?

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Speaker 2: Well, that is very true, and I would like to

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Speaker 2: also add to that, even if you are not where

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Speaker 2: you want to be psychologic or emotionally, financially in the process,

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Speaker 2: it's still a good criterion. You can still be in

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Speaker 2: the process. Because what we don't want to mistakenly do

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Speaker 2: is tell people that we are unlovable until we've arrived.

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Speaker 2: That's not true. Right, while I'm still working, while I'm

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Speaker 2: still learning, evolving and growing, I'm still worthy of affection, commitment, devotion,

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Speaker 2: and love. I'm still worthy. I'm not there. I am

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Speaker 2: emotionally immature here, and I have some growing to do here.

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Speaker 2: I am not one hundred percent of No one is okay.

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Speaker 2: That's a whole another line, but understanding that even while

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Speaker 2: I'm growing and evolving and working out the kinks, I

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Speaker 2: still deserve for my partner to show up and give

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Speaker 2: me one hundred.

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Speaker 4: And ten perfect That makes perfect sense. I thank you

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Speaker 4: for sharing that. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, people think they have to be at the right education,

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Speaker 2: the right job, the right way, be the right If

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Speaker 2: you're in the process, you're good. Now. If you're in denial,

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Speaker 2: that's another conversation, right, we really need to talk about

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Speaker 2: something else. But if you're in the process, you don't

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Speaker 2: have to sell yourself short and say, well, I'm not ready. Yes,

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Speaker 2: even with your flawed working it out self, you still

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Speaker 2: deserve one hundred and ten percent. Why not work deserves work?

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Speaker 4: I love that Now, Doctor Lashanda, this conversation has already

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Speaker 4: been really good, but we do want to shift up

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Speaker 4: the energy a little bit and then dive back to

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Speaker 4: some more questions for you. So what we're going to

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Speaker 4: do is we're gonna you know it now, let's just

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Speaker 4: dive on in. So, doctor Lashanda, because we recognize, appreciate,

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Speaker 4: and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and we believe that it's

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Speaker 4: okay to be bougie, classy, Rashet all that good stuff,

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Speaker 4: and you can still be elegant and dance to strict

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Speaker 4: club music if you so choose, we want to invite

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Speaker 4: you to the oh you Blatchett segment. So do you

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Speaker 4: take on the challenge?

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's I think I am. I was like, I

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Speaker 2: love this black in my blackch it. I hope I am. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be so now that, now that you've agreed,

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Speaker 2: we got a doct So what we're gonna do this.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna ask you three special questions. We're gonna have

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Speaker 4: three sentence completions for you, and then we are gonna

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Speaker 4: have you choose between let's see one and three because

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Speaker 4: we have three photos pulled up of you and we

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Speaker 4: want you to provide more context about this.

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Speaker 2: God Jesus, we wouldn't know. Okay, okay, okay, this is okay, okay.

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Speaker 4: So number one, the question is what's the best piece

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Speaker 4: of advice or wisdom you've ever received.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is may be triggering, but my uncle told

355
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Speaker 2: me when I was younger, in my early twenties, he

356
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 2: was like this, and you're gonna have to stop talking

357
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,680
Speaker 2: a lot when your relationships. He's gonna have to learn

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Speaker 2: to shut up. Yeah, I was like in my early twenties. Yeah,

359
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 2: and it just so happened that it really works, It

360
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Speaker 2: really does. I don't Well, I'm with all the women

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Speaker 2: because I have an opinion about opinions. My opinions have opinions.

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Speaker 2: I'm never short on opinions. I have opinions and case conceptualizations.

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Speaker 2: I can get a pie chart going, a gramma, you know,

364
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Speaker 2: a diagram, a model, I can grip out it. But

365
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Speaker 2: anything on the white board. But no, no, no, man,

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Speaker 2: that's interested that. Listen. If you talk too much, that

367
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 2: is the erection killer. Being shabby will kill an erection. Okay, okay,

368
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: yes I did. At the end of the day, I

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Speaker 2: have asked myself, will this leads to my man's stick

370
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Speaker 2: getting hard? Yes or no? If it's no, I usually

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Speaker 2: want it.

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Speaker 3: Wait all right, that is yes, I love it.

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Speaker 2: I love it. You know what I'm saying because I

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Speaker 2: think it would be really discussed. I got all these

375
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Speaker 2: degrees and can't keep a man dick card. Something's wrong

376
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Speaker 2: with that. That's not gonna be my legacy. I'm not

377
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Speaker 2: gonna have go to the school, get all this education

378
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Speaker 2: and can't keep my man around that's not gonna be

379
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Speaker 2: my legacy. I refuse it. Wow.

380
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Speaker 3: Then speaking of arouse them, mm hmmm, I have four

381
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Speaker 3: words for you. Okay, I have a feeling which one

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Speaker 3: you're gonna say, but I'm just gonna put it out

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Speaker 3: there anyway, yes, work or two steps?

384
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Speaker 2: Oh both?

385
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 6: Oh?

386
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I know. I'm Auntie. He I get it.

387
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 2: So yes, one of Frankie Berly maids. I will to

388
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Speaker 2: step it. But don't think I can grow it back.

389
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Speaker 2: I can throw it back.

390
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 1: You got it back?

391
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 2: Okay? Oh? I will don't let them and then and

392
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 2: then like you be like o babe, I'd be like

393
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, yes, of course I thought, yes,

394
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 2: I throws it. Listen against real it's getting negros when

395
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Speaker 2: you throw the as on it when it's not supposed

396
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Speaker 2: to be. I throws it. That's how you know.

397
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 7: Okay, it's they now, Doctor Leshana just kind of leading

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Speaker 7: on this path of bleds.

399
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Speaker 4: What is the sexiest item you own?

400
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 2: My handcuffs?

401
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:23,400
Speaker 4: Oh okay, so you talk you you you you coffing

402
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 4: him up and throwing it back.

403
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 2: Okay, I I got you. You should have some come

404
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 2: on now, the handcuffs, the furry handcuffs, yes, the one

405
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 2: I say, you break away, but yes, you should have some. Yes,

406
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 2: I do love the vision.

407
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 3: I got the vision.

408
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 2: I got it, and my cousin said that you should

409
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 2: definitely invest. She swears by this, but I haven't gotten it.

410
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 2: But I've saved this from when he hops the question

411
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 2: if he does listen, the French main costume is killer

412
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Speaker 2: good investment.

413
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 4: First her first, Okay, go ahead of the figure.

414
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 2: The French made one. I love it. I love it. Yes,

415
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 2: the French maid. That's a nice little gift. Don't listen,

416
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 2: go ahead and get that. It was, she said, the frenchman.

417
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 2: She's had she dressed up several, but she said that one.

418
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 2: The French made one. Go ahead and get that, ladies,

419
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,679
Speaker 2: all right, noted noted.

420
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 3: So now we're going to move on to the sentence completion.

421
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 2: Okay, Yes.

422
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Speaker 3: One question or topic I wish people asked me about

423
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 3: more often is.

424
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 2: I would like people to ask me what it was like,

425
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 2: what was the process like for me being in my

426
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 2: doctoral program. A lot of people are fascinated by the

427
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 2: end result, by the degree in the title. A lot

428
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 2: of people get caught up in that, whereas I don't

429
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 2: see it like that. You know, I would like a question, well,

430
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 2: what did it take? How many hours did you spend studying?

431
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 2: Like what did you have to sacrifice? You know, That's

432
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 2: what my education represents for me. It's just been a

433
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 2: series of tremendous sacrifice. And so when people are enamoraged

434
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 2: and become very impressed with the degree, I'm almost annoyed

435
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 2: because I'm like, well, you don't know the whole entire

436
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 2: backstory here, Like, this is not what you should be

437
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 2: congratulating me on. I got stories on stories upon stories.

438
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 2: I do get a little disappointed that people were not

439
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 2: as interested in the struggle the backstory as much as

440
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 2: they are. They stop right at the title and that's it.

441
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 4: Well, the next sentence completion is the most interesting part

442
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 4: of my journey to getting my doctor.

443
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 2: It is when I was getting my doctorate program, there

444
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 2: was a black female professor. Well, girl, when I say

445
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 2: hashtag be your own people, well, I don't know if

446
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 2: she identified with being an American per se, because she

447
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 2: was a ri being American, and that was her first

448
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 2: identification that she was from the Islands and not necessarily

449
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 2: a black American. So that was that distinction. So when

450
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 2: we first met and she came to the program, I

451
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god. I was like, yes, yes,

452
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 2: there's more, there's more of us. And so I was

453
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 2: over familiar and they say, you should not do that.

454
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: You should not assume that it's because you're in a

455
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,439
Speaker 2: president of the black woman in a business setting that

456
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 2: you've got girls of homies. Right, Okay, granted that makes

457
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 2: sense when I was still young, still learning, So she

458
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 2: was very much she set a firm boundary. I said, oh, okay,

459
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 2: I did. I'm begging up what you could announce this?

460
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 2: So I backed up. There was still a sour taste

461
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 2: in my mouth. It was still because I was one

462
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 2: of two black girls, black young ladies in the program,

463
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 2: and I was looking and she had graduated. I think

464
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: we were the same age, but she had graduated from

465
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 2: her program several years prior to me. There's some people

466
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: who come out of undergrad go straight into the doctor program.

467
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 2: I did not. I had a gap because I actually

468
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 2: wanted to be a whole human. So so I was like,

469
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 2: I don't think I liked this woman. But fast forwards

470
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 2: two to three, I mean I was on her clinic

471
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 2: team and everything she was giving me, just the vibe,

472
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 2: like just letting me know you're over there. I'm over here.

473
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 2: We weren't on the same team. We might have been

474
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 2: in the same colorunitess, we weren't on the same team.

475
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 2: So several years later, I was doing my dissertation, so

476
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 2: I participated in a fair. We had a It wasn't

477
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 2: a fair, but it was a conference. It was a

478
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 2: conference on minorities or some sort of minority focused, diversity focused,

479
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 2: the first annual diversity focused conference. What are those things

480
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 2: that we do in society program? The research research board.

481
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was a research poster that I did for

482
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 6: my dissertation, right, And I was like, I did my

483
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 6: research and I had did my research poster and it

484
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 6: was phenomenal.

485
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 2: It was phenomenal. It ended up winning the award. She

486
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 2: at the end of the day several years later, had

487
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:19,640
Speaker 2: to hand me my award for having the best research

488
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 2: poster for the colloquium that she put on that was

489
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 2: by far the most satisfying. Because I was sitting there,

490
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 2: I was like, and she had to give it to me.

491
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,919
Speaker 2: She had to announce me, she had to call me

492
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 2: up on the stage, she had to shake my hand,

493
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 2: because I don't think she thought that I was in

494
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 2: the running. There were clearly other favorites that she had

495
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: that were blonde haired and blue white, and so let's

496
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 2: just put that out there. And so when she called

497
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 2: my name and I won that award, I was it

498
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 2: was I was so stated, It was so wonderful because

499
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 2: she had counted me out. I was looking for a mentor,

500
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: you know, because the higher you go up me maybe

501
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 2: like zero point five percent of the population, you know,

502
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: in terms of black people with doctors and black psychologists.

503
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 2: So I was looking for the camaraderie, sisterhood. And so

504
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 2: it didn't happen like that. I say all that to say,

505
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 2: this professor had to give me a first place award

506
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 2: for my research poster. And that was the most satisfying.

507
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, doctor Lashanda.

508
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 2: Who wanted to reum me in because I could, I

509
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 2: could talk for hours.

510
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 3: We see you, we see you, so our last sentence completion.

511
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 2: Okay.

512
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 3: What I love most about myself is.

513
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 2: The thing that I really love about myself is my

514
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 2: ability to rebound. I think I have a lot of

515
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 2: writs and a lot of resilience. I really liked it

516
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: about myself. I am able to recover, not necessarily quickly,

517
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 2: but I recover, and it's QUI I can recover. I

518
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 2: am one to recover, to shake it off, even if

519
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: I'm like crawling across the finish line, right. You know,

520
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 2: sometimes I didn't run across the finish line. Sometimes I

521
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 2: was crawling, crawling on bloody knees. But I am one

522
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 2: to recover.

523
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 3: You know.

524
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't take l's and just lay down.

525
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: I'm not down for the cow, you know. I am

526
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 2: one to get up and keep getting up, and keep

527
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 2: getting up and keep getting up. So that's the one thing.

528
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, a quality rebound.

529
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 3: All right.

530
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 4: Okay, so doctor Lashonda, before we dive into more questions, Okay,

531
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 4: we have three photos pulled up a few. You're only

532
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 4: going to get a chance to see one photo. So

533
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 4: choose a number between or choose a number out of

534
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 4: one and three, and we'll pull that photo up on

535
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 4: the big screen so you can see it and provide

536
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 4: more context to us about this particular photo. To gage

537
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 4: your number number two. Okay, let's go number two.

538
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 2: Is it a good said?

539
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 4: Let me see, let me see.

540
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 2: Let's see.

541
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 4: Okay, number two, I think it is a good one.

542
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 4: Let's see. Give us more context about this lovely photo.

543
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a cute one. Yes, you know, so I was.

544
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: I was in North Carolina. It was really quick.

545
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 4: Before you before you can see you can you let

546
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 4: people who are not watching, let them know what photo

547
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 4: you're looking at, like the sky, and then give us

548
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 4: the context.

549
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm sitting on the swing. I'm wearing a

550
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 2: musta collar shirt and my hair is just kind of

551
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 2: laid down. It looks like a fade. It looks like

552
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 2: maybe a Caesar. I'm wearing like a dark burgundy lipstick

553
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 2: in this sort of pink fur background black pants. Is

554
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: that a good description? And so I was visiting my

555
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: father and his new bride who's younger than me. That's

556
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 2: another conversation. And for the holidays last year, and it

557
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: was the first time I saw his new house that

558
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 2: he built for his new wife that's younger than me.

559
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 2: And it was a good time.

560
00:31:54,520 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 4: Though, Am I so funny?

561
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 7: Lovely house, lovely house, firs bride who's younger than me?

562
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 4: Hilarious? That was so fun. Thank you for playing. I

563
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 4: think we've determined that you are indeed blatchet like.

564
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 2: Yes, if you have more, I love this game, give

565
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 2: you more. I love this Questions I'll.

566
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 4: Pass it to doctor Donald.

567
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 3: Well, as much as you love these questions that I

568
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 3: know that our audience does too, we do want to

569
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 3: dive back into talking about what mental wellness is important

570
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 3: for our business wellness, and so we want to know

571
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 3: there's a common refrain out there that says, when you

572
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 3: stay ready, you ain't got a ready. Right, So, what

573
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: are some of the things that people can do in

574
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 3: their current nine to five to mentally prepare them for

575
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 3: being an entrepreneur?

576
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's a great question, doctor Domin. I

577
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 2: will say, particularly for black women, if you're going to

578
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: be an entrepreneur, and if you already started and you're

579
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 2: in this space, a conversation needs to be had with

580
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 2: self before you move any further and before you actually

581
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: become a full time, full fledged entrepreneur, where your career

582
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 2: is going to fall in relation to your personal life.

583
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 2: Priorities have to be made from the onset. And there's

584
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 2: a thing we call competing values. Right, So values are

585
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 2: things that we are always striving for love, industry, friendship, relationship, sex, money.

586
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 2: We all have values, we're all pursuing them. But there

587
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 2: are times in life when you can value relationships, you

588
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 2: can value motherhood and you can value your career. Here's

589
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 2: what they don't tell us. You can't achieve some time.

590
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 2: You can't achieve them all at the same time. And

591
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: if you have them all at the same time, you're

592
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 2: not going to have them to the same degree in

593
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 2: terms of your level of enjoyment and your level of

594
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 2: involvement is not going to be at the same degree. So,

595
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: when you become an entrepreneur, where does your career lie.

596
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 2: Is it going to be your first love, your second love,

597
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 2: your third love, Where is it going to be? You

598
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 2: have to decide that, because if that is not a

599
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 2: decision that is made from the onset, then you're going

600
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 2: to be unstable, double minded. You're going to be unstable,

601
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 2: and you're going to be scattered. Because you're going to

602
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 2: want to be one hundred percent invested in your career.

603
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,320
Speaker 2: Then you're going to be one hundred percent invested in

604
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 2: being a parent. Then you're going to be one hundred

605
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 2: percent invested in having the part. There's got to be

606
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 2: some prioritization formerly somewhere written down in either a journal

607
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 2: or nopad in your phone as to the order of

608
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 2: how these things are going to manifest themselves in your life.

609
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 2: It's naive to think that you can have everything you

610
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 2: want at the same time, and to the degree that

611
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 2: you wanted that.

612
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 4: Is so powerful. The word that really sticked out to

613
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 4: me was double minded. I just envisioned what that would

614
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 4: look like, what that looks like in action to be

615
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 4: kind of going to and fro and being tossed with

616
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 4: the wind. And it's just so chaotic, And thank you

617
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 4: for sharing that.

618
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 2: It's really exhausting. And I'm not saying you can't have

619
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 2: a great career, and I'm not saying you can't be

620
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 2: a great parent, and I'm not saying you can't be

621
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 2: a great partner. I am saying that as an adult

622
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:36,719
Speaker 2: in a world of limited resources and meaning ourselves, right,

623
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: we are also limited resources. You don't have endless reserves

624
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 2: of love, you don't have endless reserves of respect. You

625
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 2: have limits, and I respect that right. And so given

626
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 2: that you are a limited individual, and we are all

627
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 2: time bound because we're all going to die, so we

628
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,240
Speaker 2: are all bound by time. We are all working within

629
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: constraints and strengths, we all have limitations, and so understanding

630
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: that when you make this decision about your career, understanding

631
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 2: from the onset where it's going to fall in your

632
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,320
Speaker 2: life is really critical.

633
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 4: Now I do have another question, but I just had

634
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 4: to lean into this. That was so powerful as well,

635
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 4: because I think a lot of times we talked about

636
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,359
Speaker 4: toxic positivity on the podcast, and I think sometimes there's

637
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 4: like this optimism, Oh, I can do everything I can

638
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,280
Speaker 4: do at all, but it's like we do have limits.

639
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 4: That's well, yeah, that's we have time constraints. Everything is

640
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,399
Speaker 4: not just unlimited and I'm going to manifest it because

641
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 4: I want it. And that's not how it works with.

642
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 2: The manifesting word that's wishing. Can we say that's simply wishing?

643
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 2: Oh my, what is manifesting? I cannot stand the word is.

644
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 2: I cannot wait till we trend away from the word.

645
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 2: Why does work hard never trend?

646
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

647
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 2: Anything that requires hard work, sacrifice on lots of tears

648
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: that never trends, you know? So, No, I don't believe

649
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 2: in manifesting because that's similar, that's the synonym for and

650
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:05,280
Speaker 2: I don't wish for anything. No, I work for everything.

651
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 2: I don't wish. I don't wish. I've never because I'm

652
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 2: a scientist. First, we don't wish. We don't believe in wishing.

653
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 2: But absolutely there's no such thing as manifest there's no

654
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 2: such thing that's.

655
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 4: Very scientific for sure that I get it. I get it.

656
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 4: When I saw the secret, I remember the scientists and

657
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 4: the other folks were kind of like battling because they're like, wait, manifestation.

658
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 4: Is this the science? They were like, wait, can you

659
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 4: prove it? Can you write it down? So I understand what?

660
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 3: I get it?

661
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: Where is it manifest Where is it going to manifest

662
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,240
Speaker 2: from like a cloud? Is there a manifestation? Like literally

663
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 2: where I'm looking for? Like where does it? Does it

664
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 2: fall from the sky, does it like materialize in it?

665
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 2: I don't understand the concept. I can't even wrap my

666
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: mind around what that you can manifest it. I don't

667
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 2: even know what that means. But I don't believe in it.

668
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 2: It certainly doesn't exist. It does not exist. Let's do

669
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 2: away with the term it does not exist. It's one

670
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 2: of the biggest lives of that ever been told, and

671
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 2: it's just another way for people to be lazy.

672
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 4: I live in the cloud, so I'm processing everything doctor.

673
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 4: But I hear you. I hear you because I'm definitely

674
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 4: up like, let's manifest at all. But I do want

675
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 4: to I do want to ask you, doctor Lashanda. Yeah,

676
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 4: how does someone's how does someone's trauma wounds? How does

677
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 4: that show up when they're in business and when they're

678
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 4: going to you know, they're doing their day to day

679
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 4: in business. How do those trauma wounds show up?

680
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,800
Speaker 2: Oh? I love trauma. I don't love trauma. But you know,

681
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 2: we have had Black Americans. We've had our fair share

682
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 2: of trauma. You know, ancestors being brought here and the

683
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 2: neighborhood violence trauma. Then there's relationship trauma, Then there's parental trauma,

684
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 2: then this financial trauma. So we have complex, repeated trauma.

685
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 2: You know, Black people in this country, we know our

686
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,399
Speaker 2: fair share trauma. So how does it show up in business? Well,

687
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 2: if you have unresolved trauma to begin with, you are

688
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: likely not making the right to say about the business

689
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 2: that you're going in to begin with. Because sometimes people

690
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:09,280
Speaker 2: create products and businesses to self heal and heal oop,

691
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 2: and that's not it. Maybe, and this is I don't

692
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 2: never had this conversation with the stylist, But for example,

693
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 2: maybe you have the hair salon stylist who was always

694
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 2: told that she was unattractive or she always felt that

695
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 2: she wasn't attractive enough, so she made sure that she

696
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 2: always had great hair, and so appearance became a focal point.

697
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: Appearance being a focal point let her down this path

698
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: of sort of cosmetology, right, and maybe unintentionally, maybe she

699
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 2: wasn't aware she's good at it because she had to be,

700
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 2: because it was a function of insecurity or unmet need.

701
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,800
Speaker 2: Now this should that actually be a business idea? Not

702
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 2: necessarily is she good at it? Possibly? But sometimes people

703
00:39:55,280 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 2: go into fields and it's just self serving, and I

704
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 2: think that puts a band aid over a stabb Wow.

705
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 3: Okay, I think we should take a moment and again

706
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 3: process that. Sit with that for a moment, right, Like, lady,

707
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 3: as you're listening, take a moment and think about your

708
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 3: current career and think about how you got into the

709
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:25,759
Speaker 3: current career that you're on. And for our entrepreneurs out there,

710
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 3: think about the current business that you have or that

711
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 3: you're in the in the process of starting, right and

712
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 3: really ask yourself what is the purpose, the deeper purpose,

713
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 3: not that surface level purpose. Right, of my friends all

714
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 3: told me that I do their hair well and I

715
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 3: made money off of it when we were all living

716
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 3: in dorms in college, but going deeper to it's because

717
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 3: I didn't feel someone made me feel unattracted and I

718
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 3: needed to combat that, right, And I just got good

719
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 3: at what I'm combating.

720
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 2: Exactly, and that itself becomes a skill of people who've

721
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 2: been wounded in relationships and now become dating coaches. Well

722
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 2: where did you get your training, ma'am? I don't understand

723
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,759
Speaker 2: where that is.

724
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 4: I would love to know what you two think about this.

725
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 4: So I think that they're and you let me just say,

726
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,720
Speaker 4: you two are the doctors. So y'all let me know, okay.

727
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 4: I in my experience, I would say that there have

728
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 4: been times where I have found purpose for my pain.

729
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 4: But do you think that if someone is acknowledging the

730
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 4: trauma and they are working through it, you can be

731
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 4: directed to your path by way of that situation, But

732
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 4: you're not using it as like your coping mechanism or

733
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 4: like as you're pacifier, you know what I mean, as

734
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 4: you're working through your life. Does that make sense that

735
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 4: do you think that's possible?

736
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 2: Okay? So I do think it's possible. I do think

737
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 2: that that pain and trauma is very informative, and its

738
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 2: chuck full of a lot of data, and it is rich,

739
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: which is why we do experience suffering, and because it

740
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 2: is very telling, and it is transformative, and it's transformational

741
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 2: and it's very important to our development. So I do

742
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: think there's a lot of data there. Now. What therapy

743
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 2: does come along and help you with is it's because

744
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 2: it really takes someone who's skilled to be able to

745
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 2: identify the nuances within the trauma, to be able to

746
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 2: pinpoint what aspects of the trauma in your experiences. Within

747
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 2: those experiences can lead you to a healthier path. Not

748
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,239
Speaker 2: everything you should take with you. Some things, yes, and

749
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 2: you need help trying to identify, oh, should I take

750
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 2: this with me? Because not all baggage is bad. We

751
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:56,320
Speaker 2: all come up with baggage, So maybe you want to

752
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 2: pick up certain pieces of the baggage because there's no

753
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:03,800
Speaker 2: one that's coming that's baggage free, right But a therapist

754
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,320
Speaker 2: will help you select, okay, what to take with you

755
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: and what you can leave behind, what you can manage

756
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 2: and what you can't, what you really need to resolve,

757
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,800
Speaker 2: and what you kind of stuff for right now. So

758
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 2: therapists will come along and help you find out what's

759
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 2: that important critical information to help you become a better person.

760
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 2: But in terms of how that happens in business, that

761
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 2: to me can be a separate thing. But I see

762
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 2: what you're saying. But not necessarily it depends, is our

763
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 2: favorite answer.

764
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 4: That makes sense? Yes, I love that this is right contextual.

765
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 2: It really is everything. It really depends because behavior occurs

766
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 2: within context. And so when I try to tell people

767
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 2: that that's what I need, I need more context. They

768
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,799
Speaker 2: think I'm trying to avoid their avoid answering the question.

769
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 2: But you haven't given me enough information. And the black

770
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 2: and white thing, well is it this or is it that?

771
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 2: That I hang them with? Well, you know, doesn't have

772
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 2: to It could be an and just replacing or with

773
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 2: and changes the dynamic of a lot of things. And

774
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 2: so people don't even want to do that. They're like, no, no, no,

775
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 2: is it this way? Or I'm like no, it's not

776
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 2: this way or that way. It's both. And so that

777
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 2: in itself is a very interesting Did I even answer

778
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 2: the question, Oh my god, I can talk about I

779
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 2: think you.

780
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 4: I think you did. But what I think you, I

781
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 4: think you really help people think about just the beginning

782
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 4: of the journey, because you said before we even get

783
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 4: into the business, you could be embarking on a journey

784
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 4: that that's that's the stems from the trauma. And so

785
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,359
Speaker 4: I think about, like, you know, how you oftentimes how

786
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 4: you manage your personal finances is usually how are you

787
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 4: going to manage your business finances as well? So it's

788
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,439
Speaker 4: like things are not addressed, they're going to bleed over

789
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 4: into the business. So I think you get on like

790
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 4: the first step of the journey and it's like what

791
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 4: business are you in right?

792
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 2: And why? And why are you even there? And then

793
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 2: we've met I mean, we know scores of talented black

794
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 2: people who opened up shops and businesses and never made

795
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 2: it past maybe the first six months of the year.

796
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 2: And it wasn't for lack of talent or intelligence, but

797
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:15,439
Speaker 2: it was all the other stuff that they weren't able

798
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:18,800
Speaker 2: to clear up a resolve or organize or manage. You know,

799
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 2: we often want cures, they're even medically there are very

800
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 2: few cures, and the same is true for the psychological

801
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 2: phenomenon there well, there are no cures for us, but

802
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 2: medically there are very few cures. And when you tried

803
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: to introduce that concept of no, cures are like no, no, no,

804
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 2: there's an answer, no no no. This management a cure

805
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 2: is different. Yes, I love it.

806
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 3: And so speaking of management, when someone is when particularly

807
00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 3: for black women, what are your top three tips for

808
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 3: them to manage their mental health?

809
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 2: Okay, as they are.

810
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 3: Running a successful business. What so if we think of

811
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:27,280
Speaker 3: the black woman who is has a healthy business mindset?

812
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 2: Right right?

813
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 3: We talked earlier about self care and self preservation.

814
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, what would be two other.

815
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 3: Things that you would recommend for them to be mentally

816
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:45,720
Speaker 3: well as they are running a healthy business?

817
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 2: Okay, so healthy business number two. Go out of your

818
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 2: way to make friends and develop relationships professional relationships with

819
00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 2: people who look nothing like you, with people who don't

820
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,799
Speaker 2: come from your background, people who are not in your

821
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 2: socioeconomic status. Find people who are very different from you,

822
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 2: who have different philosophies, sexual orientations. You want the most

823
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 2: diverse groups of people professionally that you know. And the

824
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,240
Speaker 2: reason why I say that you will learn the most

825
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 2: from people who are different from you. And this has

826
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 2: been proven because people who are different from you will

827
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 2: offer things to you that you've never heard from different

828
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 2: information and the brain. It's been proven. Actually does more

829
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 2: work cognitively taking in different and new information. Then let's

830
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 2: say hearing the same thing over and over and over again. Right,

831
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: So people who don't look like you, who have a

832
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 2: different experience, your brain is going to latch onto what

833
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 2: they're saying. Because this is new stuff. You're going to

834
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 2: process it on a much deeper level. So make it

835
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 2: your business right to join professional organizations and make sure

836
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 2: to form relationships. Not with just other black women, but

837
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 2: you should at least have different people that you know.

838
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 2: They should be different races, different ethnicities, different genders, male,

839
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 2: non binary, and it's okay, get a mentor, have one

840
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 2: and my last one, the several. Get a mentor, get

841
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 2: more than one, and get a male and female. You

842
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 2: want at least one of each. You need mentors. I

843
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 2: do think that other groups of people do this better

844
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 2: than us particularly, But you need mentors. You need peer consultation.

845
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 2: Right in psychology, peer consultation is everything. If you're doing

846
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 2: all of this by yourself, you're absolutely doing it wrong,

847
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 2: and that's an any business right. You're absolutely doing it wrong.

848
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 2: So you need a mentor. You need at least two,

849
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 2: and you need at least one male and one female.

850
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 2: And you should be checking in with each mentor no

851
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 2: less than once a quarter, so that's once every three months.

852
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 2: There should be an in person meeting. I love it

853
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 2: in person meeting. This should be an in person meeting.

854
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 2: It should be formal to some degree, meaning that it

855
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 2: should have a purpose. It should be productive. You should

856
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:19,320
Speaker 2: come with some prepared questions. I definitely do think you

857
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 2: should be current in your field in terms of the

858
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 2: literature right. Staying relevant and staying current is a superpower.

859
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 2: So you want to stay current when it comes to

860
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,840
Speaker 2: the literature, making sure you're subscribing to the right journals

861
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 2: or the right books, are going to the right conferences seminars.

862
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 2: Wanting to keep your skill set sharp and your knowledge

863
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 2: base full.

864
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 4: That is gold, lady. You are getting this information for free. Okay,

865
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:50,280
Speaker 4: please go leave us a review, Go support doctor Lashanda.

866
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 4: That was gold, right there, doctor Lashanda. That is like

867
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 4: pro tip. Yeah, wow, thank you.

868
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,840
Speaker 2: Yes, get you need We need people and be open

869
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 2: to feedback. This sounds a lot easier than it is.

870
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: No one likes feedback, and feedback is another way for

871
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 2: the constructive criticism. You have to be able to hear

872
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,720
Speaker 2: the hard stuff. If you can't hear the hard stuff.

873
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 2: You need to close up shop. You shouldn't be a

874
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 2: business if the only thing that you are listening for

875
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:22,720
Speaker 2: is how great and wonderful you are in your product

876
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 2: or your services. Retire because you're not built for a

877
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 2: competitive capitalist economy. That's number one. This is a free

878
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 2: enterprise market. And if you can't hear the heart stuff,

879
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 2: you are not ready for a free market. You're not

880
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 2: ready for an open market. You're not ready for competition.

881
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 2: You are not ready for competition. If you can handle

882
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 2: the feedback. If all you're listening for is how great

883
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 2: you are, you really need to retire and just stick

884
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,840
Speaker 2: to your pop up shops. Okay, yes I said it.

885
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 4: Yes she said it.

886
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 2: She said it. Y'all just stick to your table and

887
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 2: you're a really nice tablecloth in your pop up shop.

888
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 2: I mean you can.

889
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 4: I appreciate it. You're saying the things that a lot

890
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 4: of people don't want to say, and people are you know,

891
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 4: maybe don't want to hear. But it's necessary and we

892
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 4: appreciate you. Doctor Lashanda.

893
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 3: This was so good.

894
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 4: So please let us know where can our listeners find

895
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 4: you and support you? What are you working on? How

896
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 4: can they How can they show you love right now.

897
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm on Instagram at doctor Lashanda d r l

898
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 2: A s h O n d A. I am on

899
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 2: Facebook doctor Lashanda T. Green And that's what I'm doing

900
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,880
Speaker 2: right now. I'm currently trying to do other things behind

901
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 2: the scenes. Is so much work, but I'm trying to

902
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,399
Speaker 2: I've always envisioned myself on helping a lot of people

903
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 2: on a larger scale, So working with my manager and

904
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 2: trying to do my own thing in terms of getting

905
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 2: out the masses and my message, and we're fine tuning

906
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 2: what that is and what that looks like. I'm in

907
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 2: the work.

908
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 4: We know you're going to be successful.

909
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, Yes, thank you?

910
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:11,280
Speaker 3: And so any final words for that black woman entrepreneur

911
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 3: out there who has been sitting on the edge of

912
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 3: her seat this entire interview. Any because we again we

913
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 3: know that if we follow you on Instagram, we are

914
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:24,800
Speaker 3: constantly getting a good word and just listen to this interview.

915
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 2: We got lots of gems. Thank you.

916
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 3: One last Gym, well, last Jim.

917
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 2: I would say for someone who I think is you know,

918
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 2: I've academically achieved a good many things. I would say

919
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 2: to women entrepreneurs that to be careful not to gain

920
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 2: the world and lose your soul. Academic accolades, business accolades.

921
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 2: You know, that's all well and great, and I love

922
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: those things, and I love the fact that I live

923
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 2: in the country where women can pursue these types of endeavors,

924
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 2: because that's not the case for a lot of countries.

925
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,000
Speaker 2: So I am grateful for that aspect, but understanding that

926
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 2: certain types of success are not free. They are expensive.

927
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:07,240
Speaker 2: Success is very expensive, and before you go down this path,

928
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 2: you really have to count how much are you willing

929
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 2: to pay because this is not a free path. This

930
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 2: is not a free path. And when you've talked to

931
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 2: people who talk to people who are where you are

932
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 2: and ask them, tally this up, tally this up in

933
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 2: terms of tears, time, sacrifice, what you've missed out, divorces. Right,

934
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 2: It's expensive. Success is truly expensive. And you want to

935
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 2: go down this path, know that it's going to cost you,

936
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 2: and know that it's going to be a bloody business.

937
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 4: You heard it here first, lady, Thank you so much

938
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:43,800
Speaker 4: for tuning in.

939
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 3: Hey, lady, is doctor Dom here from the Cultivating her

940
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 3: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

941
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 3: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey well. If so,

942
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 3: please reach out to me a doctor Dominique Brusard dot

943
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 3: com that's d R D O M I N I

944
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:12,800
Speaker 3: q U E b R O U ss ar D

945
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 3: dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I

946
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 3: look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for joining us today.

947
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 3: Please note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

948
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 3: self empowerment, and mental health, but is by no means

949
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 3: meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship

950
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:42,760
Speaker 3: with a trained mental health provider. If you are someone

951
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 3: you know is in need of mental health care, please

952
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:51,320
Speaker 3: visit a Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or

953
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 3: contact your insurance provider.

954
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 1: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

955
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 1: the conversation going, visit our website at Cultivating Hospased dot

956
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 1: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get

957
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 1: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show.

958
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 4: And before we meet again, repeat after me. Just because

959
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 4: I can do it all doesn't mean I have to

960
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 4: do it all.