1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, let it coming at your hands right now. All right, 2 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: thank you, team Tommy. Subject my mother is ruining my future. 3 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: Here Stephen Shirley. I am a black young lady in 4 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: my mid twenties, and I've been in debt since I 5 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:25,480 Speaker 1: graduated from college in twenty sixteen. I assumed I would 6 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 1: be stepping out into the real world and paying a 7 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: few bills, but not as many as I have now. 8 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 1: While I was in college, my mom opened multiple credit 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: cards in my name and proceeded to max them all 10 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: out on her bills and personal items. Fast forward to today, 11 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 1: my credit card debt is well over eighty five hundred 12 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: dollars and I am trying to pay the minimum payments 13 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,560 Speaker 1: on the bills so I can maintain a good credit score. 14 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: I have an accounting degree, but how can I tell 15 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: others how to manage money? And my finances are terrible. 16 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: I am upset and feel like I should not have 17 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: to pay these bills since I didn't open these accounts 18 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: or use the credit cards. But that's not my only problem. 19 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: I'm living with my mom rent free, so if I 20 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 1: complain to her about the creating this illegal credit card debt, 21 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: she tells me, I'm ungrateful, and I need to be 22 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: glad that I have a roof over my head. I 23 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: would much rather pay my own rent instead of paying 24 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: all the high interest rates on all of these credit cards, 25 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: but I can't afford to. My main concern is salvaging 26 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: my credit worthiness. I recently found out that my mom 27 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: is still using one of the cards to buy household 28 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: items and groceries each month. Yes, I do eat the food, 29 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,639 Speaker 1: but I can chip in and pay for the food 30 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: instead of using credit cards. I have asked her again 31 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: to stop using the cards. She got so upset with 32 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: me that she told me to move out of her 33 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: house within two months. I would like to approach her again, 34 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: but I don't know how to do how to without 35 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: her retaliating in this way. I can't afford to move out. 36 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: Please help. Wow, I can't believe your mom is doing this. 37 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't care if you are. I don't 38 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: care if you are staying there rent free. Yeah, this 39 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: is not cool on your mom's part. And uh, you know, 40 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say that you had student loans, 41 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,959 Speaker 1: that's why you were in debt or something like that, 42 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: not because your mom went and got credit cards in 43 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: your name and she's maxim all out. I mean, I 44 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: did that to my mom's credit card when I was, 45 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: you know, eighteen or something, and of course I paid 46 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: her back, but the reverse sounds crazy to me. And 47 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: you know, just a side note, do you have a 48 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: friend or a relative that you could possibly become roommates 49 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,399 Speaker 1: with and share some of these expenses? Because daughter, dear, 50 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,679 Speaker 1: your mom really has you over a barrel right now. 51 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: I cannot believe she is taking advantage of you like this. 52 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: This is a hard one. I mean, how are you 53 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: ever gonna be able to get out of this hole 54 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: if she keeps charging stuff on your card. I'm glad 55 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: that you say you want to have some credit integrity. 56 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: I like that. That must be the accountant in you. 57 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: And uh, with you paying just a minimum amount paying 58 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: it off, it's gonna take quite some time. It's gonna 59 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: take forever. I mean it'll you'll get it done, but 60 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: it's gonna take quite a long time. So there's no 61 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: way you're gonna be free for a while in that respect. 62 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: So um, I do think it's time to put your 63 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: accounting degree to work. Though you are right, how can 64 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: you tell others how to manage their situations, their financial situations, 65 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: and yours are terrible. What would you what would you 66 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: tell your client? You got to become a client, in 67 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: this case, your own Clientum, what would you advise them 68 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: to work out? Wouldn't you say, get a plan together 69 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: to pay off some of these credit cards, consolidate, condense 70 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: them into one. Um, you know you would you would 71 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: tell them something along these lines. I'm thinking, uh, you know, 72 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: and to start saving a little more if you can, 73 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: to get out of your mom's house and all of that, 74 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: get out of her own and get your own apartment. 75 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: Whatever you would tell your clients, be quiet, Steve, finished, 76 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: almost finished. You get so much your turn hold on. 77 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: Whatever you would tell your client as an accountant, that's 78 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: how you deal with this situation for yourself. Okay, now, Steve, 79 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,799 Speaker 1: don't be rude. I wasn't being rude, Shirley. But you breathing. 80 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 1: But Sureley, you so nice. Let's stop you now, this 81 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: is what we're gonna do. Tied, it is here, you know, 82 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: I just you know some of these letters, Shureley, we 83 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 1: ain't gotta take our time with my mother is ruining 84 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: my future. I'm a black young lady, my mid twenties. 85 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 1: I've been in debt since I graduated in twenty sixteen 86 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,559 Speaker 1: from college. You wanted to step out in the real world, 87 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 1: paying a few bial, but not as many as you 88 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 1: have now, because while I was in college, my mom 89 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: open multiple credit cards in my name and proceeded to 90 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 1: max them all out on her bills and personal items. 91 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: Fast forward to today. My credit card that is eighty 92 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: five hundred. I'm trying to pay the minimum payment so 93 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 1: I can have a good credit score. Pay men. Hold up, Shirley, Yeah, 94 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: you've gave the nice version, all right. Now listen to me. 95 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: What I'm about to tell you is not about people. 96 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: This is about mindset. Let's keep that in mind, so 97 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: don't hit me up talking about No, I'm from the ghetto. 98 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 1: I would never do that. I live in a trailer park. 99 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 1: I would never do that. I'm talking about a mindset, 100 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: and y'all know what I'm talking about. We can live 101 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 1: in a ghetto but not think like that. You could 102 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: live in a trailer park but not think like that. 103 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: I'm just talking mindset now, not a place a mentality, Yo, 104 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: Mama to put all these credit cards in their children's name, 105 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: like in the cable putting your baby's name, getting electric 106 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 1: cut on in your baby name did getting electric disconnected? 107 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 1: Twenty years later, his ass can't even get lights turned 108 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: on an apartment. Hold that thought, Steve Hold that heale subject, 109 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: my mother is ruining my future. Translation, my mama is 110 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,239 Speaker 1: trailer park and get on all at the same time. 111 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,119 Speaker 1: That's what this letter is. This woman wise her daughter 112 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: was in college, then put all these credit cards in 113 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 1: this girl's name. She in her early twenties, now her 114 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,039 Speaker 1: hood mama to put all these credit cards in her 115 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: name and ran it up. She eight thousand and five 116 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: hundred dollars in debt. She trying to pay the minimum. 117 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,719 Speaker 1: The girl got an accounting degree and she's trying to 118 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: get her life together by making minimum payments. But she 119 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: can't afford to pay all these minimum payments. And then 120 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: she lives with her mama. She's upset about it, and 121 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 1: she feels like she shouldn't have to pay these bills. 122 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: But only that's not her only problem, because she lived 123 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 1: with her mama rent free. So when you could when 124 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: she complained to her mama about creating the illegal credit cause, 125 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,039 Speaker 1: she tells me, I'm ungrateful. I need to be glad 126 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: I got a roof over my head? What where was 127 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: you gonna stay if you hadn't to run up to 128 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: these credit cards? Wasn't you still gonna have a place 129 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: to stay? Mama? So now I got to be grateful 130 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: because you have stole my social Security number and open 131 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: up these damn credit cards. What do that got to 132 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: do with the roof over here? I needn't die to 133 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: be glad that you got a roof. I would much 134 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: rather pay my own ran instead of paying all these 135 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: high interest rates on these credit cards. But I can't 136 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: now if the girl is concerned about salvage and her credit. 137 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: Now as you recently found out that a mama's still 138 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: using one of the damn cards to buy household items 139 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: and groceries each month. Now that any girl said, yeah, 140 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 1: I do eat the food, but I could chip here 141 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: to pay for the food instead of using these credit cards. 142 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: I've asked her again to stop using the car. She 143 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: got some upset with me. She told me to move 144 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: out of her house within two months. I would like 145 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: to approach her again, but I don't know how without 146 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: retaliating in this way, I can't afford to move out. 147 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: Please help, Okay, here's what you gotta do. First thing, 148 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: the cards is in your name. Call all these credit 149 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: people and stop charging capabilities. That's the first thing you 150 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: gotta do, because your mama ain't listening. She steady charging stuff. 151 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 1: Cut the damn credit cards off when your mama asked 152 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: about them. Remember now there in your name. So ain't 153 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: nothing you got to do except turn them off. That way, 154 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 1: she can't run it up no more because you gotta 155 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 1: stop the bleeding. She's not gonna stop the bleeding, so 156 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: you have to stop the bleeding. Next thing, when she 157 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: tell you to move out her house, don't move squat. 158 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: She ain't gonna throw y'all become a squatter. Yeah yeah, See, 159 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: one illegal move deserves another illegal move. You illegally stolen, 160 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: got eas illegal credit card. Now she's telling you you 161 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: gotta move in two months. You ain't moving. No damn well, 162 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 1: my MoMA ain't got nowhere to move. I can't move nowhere. 163 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 1: I'm coming right here. If she changed a lot, just 164 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: beat on the door till she comes to the dough 165 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 1: she coming. Can't nobody lay up in there while you 166 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: just beating a mama and mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mam. 167 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 1: Every parent can't stand for their child and be somewhere 168 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: and keep calling their name, mama, mama. Dad gets on 169 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: your dad and hey dad, dad, ay, it gets on 170 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: your last damn name. So she's not gonna lock you out. 171 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: And that's how you stop the bleeding from the credit. 172 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 1: You keep staying there rent free, and you get these 173 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: credit cards paid down. Now, if I wish you like 174 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:27,479 Speaker 1: Shirley said, I would do some type of bill consolidation 175 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: so you can just get one note at a lower 176 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 1: rate and let's get this stuff paid off and in 177 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 1: two years you'll be in good shape. But I want 178 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: you to squat in your mama's house for at least 179 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: two years. And if your mama say anything to your body, 180 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: report her to her job. Take her down to the 181 00:10:55,360 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: church and tell the pastor all. Go on Facebook, old people, yeah, 182 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 1: old ass people, its own Facebook. Go to her Facebook page, 183 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 1: post it down on the bulletin board and her job. 184 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 1: My mama trying to put me out? Can I stay 185 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: with one of y'all? You know I had a little 186 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,319 Speaker 1: pin ups on the wall, my mom my, mama, Dolores 187 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: is trying to put me out. Can I stay with 188 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: one of y'all? Yeah? I know she got one of 189 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: them named my mama, Harriet, my mama, Gwen, my Mama, Stella, 190 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 1: my mama, Dorothy Bobar my mama, and tell on her ass. 191 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: But you got plenty of time. She ain't called her bluff. 192 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: She said, I want you out of my house. I'm 193 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 1: not going no damn where I can't move because I'm 194 00:11:54,120 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 1: paying your credit card bills. Mama. Thank you, sir. Post 195 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 1: your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook 196 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,440 Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM, and check out the Strawberry Letter 197 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 1: podcast on demand. I noticed half ain't posted nothing on 198 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: my favorites. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show