Speaker 1: Lincoln sell Food, Holland Bellevue Fitness for foodies from carb
Speaker 1: loving meat eaters to vegan and everything in between. We've
Speaker 1: got you covered. Grab a quick lunch or come for
Speaker 1: Happy Hour. You'll leave craving more. Order online at Lincoln
Speaker 1: sah dot com Rooking Jebels. Second Date Update. A listener
Speaker 1: named Hannah is on the phone through a Second Date
Speaker 1: Update today and her situation is kind of unique. She
Speaker 1: sent an email in she talked about her date. Everything
Speaker 1: went great, they got along great. Even after that they
Speaker 1: talked on the phone. Things were going great, and then
Speaker 1: something happened and now things are not going great. We'll
Speaker 1: good to that in just a second. But what's that, Hannah?
Speaker 1: How are you? Hey? How's it coming? Guys? Pretty good?
Speaker 1: I like when people know the exact moment things went wrong,
Speaker 1: because that's what it sounds like for you. Yeah, I mean, okay,
Speaker 1: so let me explain what happened first before I get
Speaker 1: to it. Okay, what's his name? First of all, his
Speaker 1: name's Mark Mark. All right, So I'm at Mark at
Speaker 1: the airport, getting ready, you know, bord a flight. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was looking for a place to charge my phone
Speaker 1: and there were no open outlets. So you know, I
Speaker 1: met this nice guy. He was like, hey, you want
Speaker 1: to borrow mine? I was like, oh, that's awesome, thanks.
Speaker 1: But it sat down, and uh we started chatting randomly,
Speaker 1: and he was super cute and really nice and and
Speaker 1: he obviously thought the same of you, because there's no
Speaker 1: way he's going to let you use a charger. If
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a good opening pipe, I'm never use
Speaker 1: my charge Yeah, keep your hands off. I guess yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean he was cool though, So you started chatting
Speaker 1: and turned to win the plane. I was hoping, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe he'd be on the same flight and you know,
Speaker 1: I would get a chance to maybe sit close to
Speaker 1: him and keep talking. But it turned out he was
Speaker 1: actually on a different flight, of course. But he asked me.
Speaker 1: He's like, are you from here? I was like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: So he asked me from my number, which I was
Speaker 1: super excited about. I was hoping he was going to
Speaker 1: call me and everything. But if he didn't, I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, too bad, that sucks. He's really cute, so
Speaker 1: it wasn't one of those things where you're like some
Speaker 1: people who instantly thought that he was your soul mate.
Speaker 1: And if he doesn't call you, the whole world is
Speaker 1: going to end. You were He was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: hope he called him, but if he doesn't, not the
Speaker 1: end of the world. I was hoping he was going
Speaker 1: to call me, but but no, not the end of
Speaker 1: the world. Obviously he called because you went out on
Speaker 1: a date. Yeah, so we've kept chatting on the phone.
Speaker 1: We talked a few times and set up plans. So
Speaker 1: when we booke up back from our trips and you know,
Speaker 1: went to the Space far and got some drinks and
Speaker 1: he came to us in the Sioux and looked really nice,
Speaker 1: you know, like handsome, it all done up. So we
Speaker 1: had this amazing time and then by the end of
Speaker 1: the night we ended up making out. Okay, so that's
Speaker 1: good at all. Good at this point, what are you
Speaker 1: thinking of him? I mean, because obviously he's moved from
Speaker 1: just like the random guy at the airport to now
Speaker 1: potential boyfriend. I wouldn't say that I was sure he
Speaker 1: was boyfriend right away, but I mean definitely interested, you know,
Speaker 1: definitely potential. You know, that's good. You made out with him,
Speaker 1: so I would hope you would be hoping for some
Speaker 1: pot Yeah, there's nothing with this guy. I'm not even
Speaker 1: attracted to him, but let's make out real quick. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I don't know, Like things went really well, and
Speaker 1: we talked for a few times on the phone and
Speaker 1: kept chatting, and so here's I guess where things kind
Speaker 1: of get a little bit strange. Like I know that
Speaker 1: I wanted to keep seeing him and see where things go,
Speaker 1: and I think that he did too. So I told him,
Speaker 1: you know, the last time we chatted that I've been
Speaker 1: I've been hurt really really bad before with some crazy
Speaker 1: XS and some bad situations. So you know, I told him.
Speaker 1: I was like, I have this thing that is like
Speaker 1: a safety net for me. But it's basically like a
Speaker 1: dating contract. What okay? And what does that mean? It's
Speaker 1: like something that I wrote up to Kila help protect
Speaker 1: myself about like things that he has to reveal to me,
Speaker 1: like do you have any crazy psycho access, do you
Speaker 1: have any dependent children? Do you have any STDs? This
Speaker 1: is an actual written document that you have, Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: like it's not like I sent it to my lawyer,
Speaker 1: but it's like a paper that I wrote up because
Speaker 1: I want to be respect did and like there's some
Speaker 1: weirdos out there, like and you never know, and like
Speaker 1: I want to know what I'm getting myself into, I guess.
Speaker 1: And on one side, they always say you need to
Speaker 1: be clear with what your expectations are, and that's a
Speaker 1: very clear way to do it. That's very true. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I emailed it over to him and I said,
Speaker 1: you know, like take a look. This is kind of
Speaker 1: like what I'm about and s important to me. But
Speaker 1: I know it's not a normal thing. And I said that,
Speaker 1: but you know, I just thought he would take a look,
Speaker 1: and I was up front everything was there. Have you
Speaker 1: given that to other dudes before and they've been cool
Speaker 1: with it, to be honest, this is the first time
Speaker 1: that I've done it, but it's because like I've been
Speaker 1: hurt so bad from the other one. So yeah, so
Speaker 1: it is it? Like what was his response to that.
Speaker 1: He chatted with me a couple of times, but it
Speaker 1: was kind of like brief, like he said he was
Speaker 1: busy and how to go to work, and then like
Speaker 1: I haven't seen him in like I haven't scheduled any dates.
Speaker 1: And I really like this guy. So I was like
Speaker 1: really concerned and I didn't want to scare them away,
Speaker 1: but I don't scare him away, but I gave him
Speaker 1: a contract. I say that could be a little done, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like the thing is, like, I can understand why
Speaker 1: you did it, and you're reasoning, but if you were
Speaker 1: to receive one for me, If I ever got one
Speaker 1: of those, it would be a huge red flag that
Speaker 1: the person I was about to date has major trust issues.
Speaker 1: It wasn't my intention to scare him away. And I guess,
Speaker 1: you know, with what you guys said that maybe maybe
Speaker 1: it did. But I really like this guy, like I
Speaker 1: had serious intentions of, you know, wanting to see where
Speaker 1: it goes. Okay, well, at least we can get him
Speaker 1: on the phone and maybe you can make your case,
Speaker 1: like if that's the thing that did scare him off,
Speaker 1: which probably was, then you can try to reassure him
Speaker 1: that you're not crazy. You've just been hurt before. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well play a song and then come back and call
Speaker 1: them and get your second day update. Okay, Oh okay,
Speaker 1: thanks guys, All right, hang frooking jubil in the morning.
Speaker 1: Nothing says true love like contract negotiations. That's right. I
Speaker 1: know everybody probably just swooned when I said that. Heavy
Speaker 1: And that's what Hannahs they with right now because she
Speaker 1: went on on a date with some dude named Mark.
Speaker 1: They liked each other a lot, even made out at
Speaker 1: the end of the day and continued to talk on
Speaker 1: the phone trying to set up another date, and then
Speaker 1: she dropped her dating contract on him. Apparently she wrote
Speaker 1: up a contract for dating her because she's been burned
Speaker 1: in the past. She emailed it over to him, and
Speaker 1: since then he's kind of seemed not interested. So we're
Speaker 1: about to call him and find out if it is
Speaker 1: the dating contract that turned him off, you know, Hannah,
Speaker 1: everything about Maybe he's got it with his lawyers right
Speaker 1: now and they're reviewing it and he's gonna make account.
Speaker 1: I think that's taking it a little too far, But
Speaker 1: I think you need to realize, even if this one
Speaker 1: doesn't turn out, it is a very good lesson since
Speaker 1: he's the first guy you've given this too, to maybe
Speaker 1: do a better job explaining how you're trying to be
Speaker 1: honest with your expectations beforehand so he doesn't take it
Speaker 1: the wrong way. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I honestly
Speaker 1: don't think it's anything past, you know, like what I
Speaker 1: would expect in a relationship. But we'll see. That's why
Speaker 1: I have you guys to help me. All right, well,
Speaker 1: we'll see what we can do that. I'm a Dallas
Speaker 1: one of me right now. Okay, okay, all right, here
Speaker 1: we go. Hello, Hi, guys, speaks to Mark. Please. This
Speaker 1: is him? Hey, Mark, how are you? This is Jewel
Speaker 1: from Brooke and Jewel in the Morning. Who Jewil from
Speaker 1: Brook and Jewel in the Morning. It's a radio program
Speaker 1: show Graham on the radio in the morning. On the
Speaker 1: radio show. I don't really listen to the radio. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't blame you. Well, it's a radio show called Brooke
Speaker 1: and Jewel in the Morning. And one of our listeners
Speaker 1: emailed us about you. That's why I'm calling you. Somebody
Speaker 1: about me? Who who is? I don't understand? Good question. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with the who is first? Okay. Hannah
Speaker 1: emailed us about you. Hannah. Oh oh, okay, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, it sounded pleasurable. Okay, I don't understand
Speaker 1: what's going on here. I can tell and I'm starting
Speaker 1: to not understand either. And I've done this like a
Speaker 1: million times. She emailed us because we do a segment
Speaker 1: on our show called the Second Date Update. That's where
Speaker 1: if you go out on a date with somebody and
Speaker 1: then end up not calling them back, they can email
Speaker 1: us to get you on the phone and figure out
Speaker 1: what happened. And she says that you guys have been
Speaker 1: talking a lot. You met, you had a really cool
Speaker 1: first date, you made out, and you guys were talking
Speaker 1: a bunch of things were going great, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, it seems like you're not interested. So
Speaker 1: she wants to know why. Yeah, but does that laugh
Speaker 1: mean that she should already know why you're not calling
Speaker 1: her back. I would think that she would so weird.
Speaker 1: She was cool and yeah, we like mete out at
Speaker 1: the end, so that was promising. But like we're talking
Speaker 1: on the phone and she's like, oh, just one little thing,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna send you something, And she sends me this
Speaker 1: three page document of a contract, like a dating contract.
Speaker 1: Three pages. It's at three full pages of rules and conditions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she told us that she sent that to you. I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that it was three pages long, though I
Speaker 1: thought it was. Someone just said, hey man, it's Hannah,
Speaker 1: Please don't hurt me. Sound on the dotted line. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh no. It was a whole list of things I
Speaker 1: had to do, like disclosed crazy excess, asking you if
Speaker 1: I had STDs. Hold on, let me, I'm gonna pull
Speaker 1: it up. It's still on my phone home. Sweet, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what's in there. While you pull
Speaker 1: it up, I feel like you should understand. Like from
Speaker 1: her side, she says that she was just trying to
Speaker 1: be honest and upfront with what her expectations for dating
Speaker 1: are because she hasn't been in the past and it
Speaker 1: hasn't turned out. Well, I get that everybody's been burned.
Speaker 1: Hold on, look look at this. Okay, STDs disclosed political beliefs. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's tough. I mean, I guess that's okay. She would
Speaker 1: just want to date somebody who doesn't align with herically,
Speaker 1: So you guys aren't arguing about that all the time. Well,
Speaker 1: and usually that just happens organically, Like you figure that out. Well,
Speaker 1: that's the point of dating, right, Like, that's probably why
Speaker 1: you were upset. Yeah, But then it gets into like
Speaker 1: more behavioral stuff like you have to text or call
Speaker 1: once a day to check in. Okay, now we're getting Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can see that would start to throw up some
Speaker 1: flags for me that we've got two hours notice if
Speaker 1: you want to cancel a date, oh my gosh, dentist appointment? Yeah,
Speaker 1: come on, yeah, you guys are always getting mad at
Speaker 1: women who maybe we can't tell what you want. You
Speaker 1: know what you want. I mean that is true. You
Speaker 1: got it there in writing. And if she ever tries
Speaker 1: to give you a crap about something and be like, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, I am completely within my contract. I
Speaker 1: canceled the date, but it was with it, it was
Speaker 1: for two hours. I'm good. You can't get mad about this.
Speaker 1: It could be nice. Actually, honestly, if it was just
Speaker 1: those things, I would probably agree to it. But this
Speaker 1: list keeps going. There's worse things in it. How about
Speaker 1: this when fighting, no silent treatment is allowed or any
Speaker 1: passive aggressive behavior. Dude, She's never going to be a
Speaker 1: relationship with expectations like this. And then below that there's
Speaker 1: an amendment saying all disagreements must be fully discussed, even
Speaker 1: if we agree to disagree. Oh that sounds good actually,
Speaker 1: with tiring a lot, a lot of long conversations, I
Speaker 1: would imagine Boston, though, what line was it that really
Speaker 1: made you completely decide you weren't going to ever call
Speaker 1: her back again? I can't choose one, but this one's
Speaker 1: definitely a bad one. Mandatory presence for Christmas, Valentine's and
Speaker 1: all major anniversaries. Yeah you should be doing that, but
Speaker 1: put that in writing saying very detailed though. Okay, you guys,
Speaker 1: it's a nuts thing that she did, really, but you
Speaker 1: liked her, and if she could like disregard this contract,
Speaker 1: would you still be interested in seeing her? I don't know,
Speaker 1: like this thing, like how you guys are trying to
Speaker 1: pull any sort of positive that I'm like, if there
Speaker 1: wasn't a huge giant red Yeah, you don't want it,
Speaker 1: give me, guys. I don't really understand what the problem is.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to protect myself. I don't really see
Speaker 1: this as like a bad thing. Who's Oh, Mark, I
Speaker 1: forgot to tell you. That's Hannah. She's actually on the
Speaker 1: other line listing and wants to talk to you. I
Speaker 1: should have been in the contracts. Sorry about that? No, no, no, yeah, no, Mark, Mark,
Speaker 1: I honestly like, I feel like, you know, having this
Speaker 1: communication was so important for like a relationship to like
Speaker 1: last that we you know, we're on the same page
Speaker 1: and you know what I want, Like, what is wrong
Speaker 1: with you agreeing to those things, like, are you hiding
Speaker 1: something that's like stuff that normal boyfriend relationships do? Look
Speaker 1: like everybody has been hurt by somebody before, but this
Speaker 1: is not the way to handle it. Well, most of
Speaker 1: those people didn't sign a contract beforehand, and that's probably why. Mark, No,
Speaker 1: but this is really excessive. Like We've been on one
Speaker 1: date and now I'm supposed to sign a contract that
Speaker 1: puts me on the hook for a bunch of presents
Speaker 1: and like calls every day. I mean, at least I
Speaker 1: didn't put like the amount of the present that you
Speaker 1: had to buy me, like the price, but you had
Speaker 1: an amount in mind, didn't you. I mean, I like
Speaker 1: nice things, what girl doesn't. But like what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is I'm not crazy, Like I think I'm being pretty reasonable.
Speaker 1: I've been totally one up front of you. I feel
Speaker 1: like in a relationship, you want to know those things
Speaker 1: so you know what I would like it in a
Speaker 1: relationship though, Yeah, but this is like all expectations. It
Speaker 1: takes the romance out of it that I'm contractually obligated
Speaker 1: to do these things with you. Right. Well, look, if
Speaker 1: you were like an actual stand up guy, it wouldn't
Speaker 1: feel like a contractual obligation. Those would be like normal
Speaker 1: things that you would want to do. Yeah, they would be.
Speaker 1: But now if this is so weird, like I don't
Speaker 1: want to have an anything to do with it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it'd be weird if like President Day is coming up,
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, where's that contract? I gotta figure out
Speaker 1: if I need to get your a gift or something.
Speaker 1: What happens if I breaks the contract but you just fail?
Speaker 1: That's a good question too. Yeah, what's the out on
Speaker 1: that contract? Hannah? Well, I mean it depends on what
Speaker 1: it is. Like if you ghost me and they'll talk
Speaker 1: to me for four or five days, then I might
Speaker 1: think about it because I want somebody who's going to
Speaker 1: be there and communicate with me and make me feel secure.
Speaker 1: But you want someone to do that because they want to.
Speaker 1: You don't want them to do it because you've made them.
Speaker 1: That's not a healthy relationship for you either, Like, this
Speaker 1: isn't a good way to start things. I get what
Speaker 1: you're saying, but I really liked you, Like we have
Speaker 1: a lot of fun, and you're charming and you're smart
Speaker 1: and honestly, Mark, Like that's why I gave this to you.
Speaker 1: Like I've never done this before I thought about taking
Speaker 1: this to the next level. So that's why I wanted
Speaker 1: to be prepared, Mark, Mark, what do you think would
Speaker 1: you like to go on a second date with her?
Speaker 1: We'll pay for it and maybe she can take back
Speaker 1: the contract stuff and you guys can talk it out
Speaker 1: a bit more. Would you do that though? Would you
Speaker 1: take back the contract? I mean maybe we can delay
Speaker 1: the signing until like the third date. Oh, go, Mark,
Speaker 1: what do you think just out of curiosity? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would definitely go on another date. Really, but like, I'm
Speaker 1: never going to sign a contract. Oh oh damn. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you want these things, we can talk about it,
Speaker 1: Like we can just talk about it and come to
Speaker 1: a verbal agreement, but ack negotiation. I know this is exciting.
Speaker 1: Oh you guys, I feel like I'm at the table
Speaker 1: with like some pro athletes and an agent. Hannah, Seriously,
Speaker 1: that is a big deal that he said. Yes, I
Speaker 1: think that he's a stand up guy. Without the contract, Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: well leeve the contract for now. I am happy we're
Speaker 1: gonna go out again. Awesome. I do like you. But
Speaker 1: we got to talk about this last rule on the contract,
Speaker 1: which one if a breakup becomes necessary It must be
Speaker 1: done face to face and not via text, own or FaceTime.
Speaker 1: You'd rather have a tax breakup broken jupil in the morning,