Speaker 1: Okay, we need to talk about Teresa's wedding. Teresa Jude's wedding,
Speaker 1: so her hair is a big topic. And of course
Speaker 1: when I saw her, I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: The hair. The hair was was its own being getting
Speaker 1: married right, And people are like why what wait, how
Speaker 1: and being critical and she and her hairdresser are defending
Speaker 1: it and it had fifteen million bobby pins and all
Speaker 1: this different stuff. Okay, I need to say this. Teresa
Speaker 1: started off that show by paying for furniture in Jersey
Speaker 1: and her castle, her Jersey castle, with wads of cash.
Speaker 1: So I love the fact that Teresa is now with
Speaker 1: this long sort of massive, you know, zutopia crown hair do,
Speaker 1: with this lavish, elaborate party that is a circus that
Speaker 1: at her dress is so ornate, like she's over fifty,
Speaker 1: it's over the top. Like good for her as she's happy.
Speaker 1: I met the guy who seems really nice, Paul, and
Speaker 1: I met him at the MTV Awards, and Paul was like,
Speaker 1: he was a really nice guy. I don't know anything
Speaker 1: about him or what it was like on the show
Speaker 1: or what their deal is. I know there's been like
Speaker 1: some sort of scandal surrounding him. But I have no
Speaker 1: idea what it is, nor do I care. And she's
Speaker 1: definitely familiar with scandal, so who gives a shit about
Speaker 1: that anyway? UM, I do know that there was no
Speaker 1: prenup because that was mentioned on Watch What Happens Live,
Speaker 1: and I said, I'm going to crawl through my phone
Speaker 1: because I don't you have to have a prenup. But
Speaker 1: that's not my business. And it's her life and her
Speaker 1: choice and her marriage. And she seems happy and she's
Speaker 1: in love and she did not change. She knows where
Speaker 1: she came from. She's an Italian broad from Jersey, paid
Speaker 1: for all her furniture season one in cash, and season
Speaker 1: ninety nine, she's getting married on television with a giant,
Speaker 1: fifteen million Bobbypin hairstyle. Yes, how annoyed would we be
Speaker 1: if she was like she was wearing you know, uh Javon,
Speaker 1: She could no valid imagine TERSA. She's being interviewed by
Speaker 1: Extra Access Hollywood and she's like, it's Valentino couture. Would
Speaker 1: be like, oh fuck yourself, you affected broad. We would
Speaker 1: think like or now now her hair is being done
Speaker 1: by you know, Sally Hershberger. She got her hair done
Speaker 1: from her Jersey hairstylist. And she's the same Theresa that
Speaker 1: walked in with the cash to pay for the furniture.
Speaker 1: So yes, I'm here for it. I want more. And
Speaker 1: I think fifteen million Bobby Pins is not nearly enough.
Speaker 1: I mean they're probably stuck in her Italian scalp. And
Speaker 1: I love it. So she's being who she is, she's
Speaker 1: staying true to her Jersey roots, and she's buying golden
Speaker 1: crusted furniture. And I and and the girls are wearing
Speaker 1: pink bridesmaid satin dresses. Go for yours. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love everything about it. It was a Bravo circus.
Speaker 1: It was literally a Bravo circus every I mean, the
Speaker 1: fact that they allowed cell phones at that event is hysterical,
Speaker 1: Like it was like competing Instagram profiles and stories, and
Speaker 1: I mean, I bet you know it was even paying
Speaker 1: attention to the wedding. They were like, how do I
Speaker 1: get my moment? How do I get my moment? How
Speaker 1: do I get my social how do I get my picture?
Speaker 1: How do I get me this? Oh my god, take
Speaker 1: a picture with me, Take a picture with her, Take
Speaker 1: a picture of you. If it must have been crazy crazy.
Speaker 1: One thing I'll say is, you know, you make a
Speaker 1: deal with the devil going on the Housewives. Her there her,
Speaker 1: your own brother is not at your wedding. And by
Speaker 1: the way I understand it, a it's content for the show,
Speaker 1: be its drama on the show. The show. You cannot
Speaker 1: be on a show like that with family. It's just
Speaker 1: there is absolutely no way that you can be on
Speaker 1: the Housewives with family. I probably wouldn't be speaking to
Speaker 1: my own daughter, Okay, if I was on the Housewives
Speaker 1: with her. It's a ship show. It's toxic. So you know,
Speaker 1: this is the deal you made. But you made the
Speaker 1: deal with the devil. I was there. I was in
Speaker 1: I was in the seventh circle of hell myself with
Speaker 1: my own deal with the devil. When you're in there
Speaker 1: and you're getting paid, it all seems real, and it
Speaker 1: makes the circus bigger, and the cameras and and and
Speaker 1: the pictures and the makeup and the hair. Of course,
Speaker 1: the hair got bigger. Everything gets bigger. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like those makeup sponges that you you put water on
Speaker 1: them too. They just expand and swell anything you're doing.
Speaker 1: If you are if you are excited, about getting married,
Speaker 1: and it seems public and it's in the press, it
Speaker 1: seems bigger. It seems more exciting because you're doing it
Speaker 1: with the audience. If you're in an argument with somebody,
Speaker 1: it seems bigger because you're doing it with an audience.
Speaker 1: It's an absolute disaster. But they have all they have dove.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's a sentence. They all
Speaker 1: dove eye lash deep, eyebrow deep. There maybe like a
Speaker 1: scalp hair that's not all the way and they are
Speaker 1: all the way in. So I'm surprised somebody didn't get
Speaker 1: shot at the wedding. That would have been great for ratings.
Speaker 1: Fucking bust a cap and somebody. So that's what that is.
Speaker 1: Teresa's hair was big, the wedding was big, The storyline
Speaker 1: is big, the drama's big, the arguments big, The housewife
Speaker 1: ratio to civilian ratio is big. It's all big and
Speaker 1: all Bravo. Cash your fucking checks, everybody. So also with
Speaker 1: the Theresa thing, I love that she knows she remembers
Speaker 1: where she came from, the Italian broad from Jersey, getting
Speaker 1: married in a big, elaborate, lavish wedding. She should be
Speaker 1: eating blue mashed potatoes. He should be in a ruffled tuxedo.
Speaker 1: There was this place, Russo's on the Bay and Queens
Speaker 1: where people would come in Italian weddings. People would come
Speaker 1: out of the floor like enveloped in smoke and like
Speaker 1: they would have these money trees where you were passing
Speaker 1: around the money you gave to the bride in the groom.
Speaker 1: And I loved it because it was authentically Italian and
Speaker 1: the food was insane, like you know, the Theresa probably
Speaker 1: had like Zeppela's flying this Italian fried pastry, like like
Speaker 1: flying in like the craziest food. So I like someone
Speaker 1: who remembers where they came from. I like that. She's
Speaker 1: not like in vintage Valentino, you know, with like a
Speaker 1: caviar tasting menu with some bullshit. She's being who she
Speaker 1: always was, and that's what we want. We hate when
Speaker 1: someone remember. We hate when someone forgets where they came from.
Speaker 1: Does Victoria Beckham seemed like she remembers where she came
Speaker 1: from as a spice girl? Just does she seem to
Speaker 1: want to rinse it like she's just an aristocrat from
Speaker 1: grape Um, an aristocrat from Great Britain like that, you know,
Speaker 1: She's totally evolved into something completely different. Kim Kardashian doesn't
Speaker 1: even resemble someone wearing the bandage dresses, pushing Paris Hilton
Speaker 1: out of the way to get her picture taken with
Speaker 1: Nick Lasha. You know, pre all her plastic surgery and
Speaker 1: all this fashion styling from Kanye. You know. Now it's
Speaker 1: all you know and a wind toour and we're all
Speaker 1: so high fashion. I mean, I like the tersays, you
Speaker 1: know it's deck. It's over a decade later, and she's
Speaker 1: the same person she wasn't she walked in. I like that.
Speaker 1: I like to think that I'm very similar to when
Speaker 1: I walked in. Yes, I have more money, I'm not broke,
Speaker 1: I'm not. But I'm still the fucking crazy bitch I am.
Speaker 1: I still post pictures, my gray hairs, my frizzy I'm
Speaker 1: still the same exact person who walks into t J
Speaker 1: Max like a crazy person, you know, filling up my card.
Speaker 1: I don't want to change. That's who I was born.
Speaker 1: Everybody else wants to cover themselves in somebody different, So
Speaker 1: Teresa yea, and it happens with everybody on the Housewives.
Speaker 1: They all want to evolve. Look at look at look
Speaker 1: at even the people look at Dorine on season one
Speaker 1: of Her Housewives, and now now with all the elaborate
Speaker 1: hairstyles and the matching Gucci had to look at Liza
Speaker 1: Rina with what she used to wear. She used to
Speaker 1: wear like a cheap dress. Now it's always like all
Speaker 1: labels and logos, and you know, it's just different. It's
Speaker 1: just not the same. I like someone who's walking at it.
Speaker 1: Here the way she came in, she's walking down that aisle,
Speaker 1: the way she walked in. She's not leaving Jersey behind.
Speaker 1: And I respect that. I don't love you know, Meg
Speaker 1: and Marco doesn't remember taking pictures in front of Buckingham
Speaker 1: Palace because she had no idea who Prince Harry was.
Speaker 1: Like all these people are so full of ship with
Speaker 1: their bag of of like their bag of filter bullshit.
Speaker 1: Teresa is the same girl she was before. She's got
Speaker 1: more makeup on. You know, it's better glam, but still
Speaker 1: so I like it. I think she should have had
Speaker 1: ten million Bobby pins. I think the hair was not
Speaker 1: big enough. I don't think there was enough lace. And
Speaker 1: I love that it was a fucking media circus. I
Speaker 1: love it. She walked in. She walked in with a circus,
Speaker 1: and she walked down that aisle with a circus, And
Speaker 1: I'm fully here for Teresa mazl. They're all so full
Speaker 1: of shit. It you think they call Richie remembers what
Speaker 1: she looked like on a simple life, you know? Or
Speaker 1: does she remember she it's all post Rachel Zome fashion makeover.
Speaker 1: Everybody takes themselves so seriously. Chloe Carnagen doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: she remembers where she started. Just remember where you came from.
Speaker 1: It's the spirit of who you are. Everybody wants to
Speaker 1: be a fake, modern, fancier version of themselves, and it's boring.
Speaker 1: It's not interesting, it's not textual, textual. I love it.
Speaker 1: Find me five celebrities who are still who they walked
Speaker 1: in as. Find them for me. I want to see them.
Speaker 1: Those are the people I respect. Amy Schumer is the
Speaker 1: same fucking broad Is when she walked in, same thing.
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer is the same I know, Cia Sea, the
Speaker 1: same god damn broad Is when she walked in. Just
Speaker 1: you gotta find those people. I love those people. They're
Speaker 1: the same person as when they walked in. They just
Speaker 1: don't change. I love that. I mean, I know we're
Speaker 1: supposed to expect their privacy during this very difficult time.
Speaker 1: But Pete and Can have broken up, and it's so
Speaker 1: funny the way the wind blows. Everyone's like, oh, like
Speaker 1: we ever knew it was gonna last fucking stop. So
Speaker 1: many young girls like they're really she's really in love
Speaker 1: with him. She's just I think they're gonna get engaged.
Speaker 1: They're gonna have kids soon, he's gonna everybody did believe
Speaker 1: the fucking bullshit hype? Okay they did. I did not,
Speaker 1: And you know I didn't because I said on here,
Speaker 1: Pete is a star fucker, and I that's just the
Speaker 1: fact of the matter. He and it's a literal fact.
Speaker 1: He has fucked many stars. He has a star fucker.
Speaker 1: I apologize for any confusion, but he has leveled up
Speaker 1: every time. So I don't know who he could possibly date.
Speaker 1: Now I need to understand who could he could date? Like,
Speaker 1: who could he date? He hasn't. If it's for money,
Speaker 1: he could go date Melinda Gates. If it's for fame,
Speaker 1: who's more famous than Kim Kardashian. I think if the
Speaker 1: fate date, I think, if the date two famous people
Speaker 1: at the same time, and like put them together to
Speaker 1: equal one famous person who can eat it, who's more
Speaker 1: famous than Kim Kardashian. He could date like Tom Cruise,
Speaker 1: like be with a famous man. Then that really, like
Speaker 1: that takes it to another level. I just don't know
Speaker 1: who the man could date now, I really don't know,
Speaker 1: you know, or you go back down to the sticks.
Speaker 1: Take it down to the sticks. I don't know who
Speaker 1: you date. Maybe going a different category. Charlie Damilia one
Speaker 1: of these guls. I don't know. I don't know what
Speaker 1: he's supposed to do. Now he's hit the fucking wall.
Speaker 1: You gotta take small bites because then you you run
Speaker 1: out of road. He has run out of celebrity road.
Speaker 1: But more important than any of that, Okay, And by
Speaker 1: the way, he's a love bomber, like he's always been.
Speaker 1: Like he's he's he's like chee a relationship. He gets
Speaker 1: involved with somebody. The next day they're madly in love.
Speaker 1: They've tattooed each other all over each other, they're engaged,
Speaker 1: they're married, they're they're flaunting it. It's always very public.
Speaker 1: Guess what the most famous people in the world can
Speaker 1: avoid the paparazzi. I swear to you. I know this.
Speaker 1: It is a fact. Everybody getting papped all the time
Speaker 1: wants to get papped all the time. You know where
Speaker 1: to go, where not to go, stay fucking home, you
Speaker 1: know what time to go. Trust and but leave. That's
Speaker 1: the story, which is why j Lo and Ben are
Speaker 1: papped all the time because they go on a very
Speaker 1: public eloping, in public honeymoon in Paris. They're not like
Speaker 1: hiding in the Seychelles or in you know, the depths
Speaker 1: of Bora Bora. So if you want to if you're
Speaker 1: being photographed, you want to be photographs. So Pete and
Speaker 1: Kim wanted to be photographed for whatever reason, not my business.
Speaker 1: But he seems to go high and low and have
Speaker 1: some emotional challenges and um, we just were forced fed
Speaker 1: that relationship and we all have to like then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, now be like we're very sorry. I
Speaker 1: want respect your privacy during this difficult time. It's it's crazy.
Speaker 1: So that's Pete and Kim. Kanye does whatever the funk
Speaker 1: Kanye wants and it's respectable. And people will get mad
Speaker 1: at me, and you can get mad at me. I
Speaker 1: just think it's liberating for a person. I relate to
Speaker 1: this a little bit. I don't go all the way.
Speaker 1: He goes all the way, raw dog. He doesn't give
Speaker 1: a fuck. Is the honey badger. Honey badger, don't give
Speaker 1: a fuck, Kanye, don't give a fuck. Kanye is the
Speaker 1: honey badger. He he did something and someone approved that
Speaker 1: it was graphics. Is unless Kanye himself knows how to
Speaker 1: like put together that New York Times cover that said
Speaker 1: Skeet Davidson dies at eight or whatever he said, and
Speaker 1: then something about kid kid Cutty at the bottom. He
Speaker 1: is a guxter. He doesn't care. He gives so few foxs.
Speaker 1: I find it liberating in the world of filtering and covering.
Speaker 1: And I know he's got his own orchestration of the
Speaker 1: media and his own bullshit, and he wants everyone to
Speaker 1: believe all his bullshit and it is bullshit. I just
Speaker 1: I'm team Kanye. I'm sorry you can get fucking mad
Speaker 1: at me. And this round. In the round, when he
Speaker 1: was like trolling her, I was not team Kanye because
Speaker 1: he was risking the custody of his kids and you
Speaker 1: don't funk around with that. But in this round and
Speaker 1: just taking one last little slap, I'm team Kanye. I
Speaker 1: am team fucking Kanye, and Pete is having emotional issue
Speaker 1: from the abuse, Well, guess what, Pete, don't date a
Speaker 1: fucking the most famous person in the world. If you
Speaker 1: have emotional mental issues, you don't go put yourself and
Speaker 1: blast yourself in the middle of God's damn the Time
Speaker 1: Square universe and then not think they're gonna be backlash.
Speaker 1: I could get guess what, I'm fairly sane. If I
Speaker 1: was in a relationship with Kim Kardashian, I would be
Speaker 1: in a mental institution right now. Okay. I would not
Speaker 1: be okay. I would not I would have seen so
Speaker 1: many things and experience such a high and the fumes
Speaker 1: and the outfits and the met Ball and the media
Speaker 1: and SNL and becoming famous instantly and having Kim Kardashian
Speaker 1: come to my basement in Staten Island to eat pizza
Speaker 1: old school. I would be unwell. I would not be okay.
Speaker 1: I would be in a straight jacket, eating parade foods,
Speaker 1: in a mental institution. So you don't fucking get in
Speaker 1: a relationship with the most famous woman on the planet
Speaker 1: if you have some emotional shortcomings, stop So I don't.
Speaker 1: I just can't have sympathy. It's ridiculous, And I'm team Kanye.
Speaker 1: That's it. Sue me, cancel me, hate me this round
Speaker 1: of the fight. I'm team Kanye. I said it. I
Speaker 1: said what I said, and the words of the famous
Speaker 1: prophet Ninie Leaks, I said what I said. Listen to me.
Speaker 1: Pete brands in her name, Pete Brandon, Kim's name on
Speaker 1: his body. It's like a fucking Grand Central bathroom stall.
Speaker 1: Who gives a ship. It's just some more writing somebody
Speaker 1: wrote on there, just anybody. It doesn't seem like he
Speaker 1: gives a lot of shit about his body. I mean,
Speaker 1: if he tattooed his penis his most famous asset, then
Speaker 1: we'd be worried. But it's a part of his body
Speaker 1: that seems to be covered with a lot of other
Speaker 1: clutter too. And he's gone to the top of the
Speaker 1: food chain and fame. He doesn't have any room for
Speaker 1: anybody else's initials. And you listen, this is it. You
Speaker 1: peaked in high school and that's it. You can't go
Speaker 1: higher than Kim Kardashian. Take a fucking nap. There's nobody
Speaker 1: more famous than Kim. We did it. We went from
Speaker 1: Larry David's daughter to Ariana Grande, to cape Beck and sale,
Speaker 1: a little dabble with Kaya Gerber and fucking Kim Kardashian
Speaker 1: and oh sorry, and a dabble with somebody from that show.
Speaker 1: We all love with the sex scenes. It's like Britain Briggerton,
Speaker 1: whatever he was with that girl. We we did it.
Speaker 1: We're full. We saw the buffet, we ate it. You
Speaker 1: had a good time. Go take a long winter's nap
Speaker 1: with the bears because you're expired.