1 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: Take a deep breath in through your nose. 2 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 2: Holds it. 3 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 3: Now, release slowly again deep in, helle. 4 00:00:51,360 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: Hold release, repeating internally to yourself as you connect to 5 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: my voice. I am deeply well. I am deeply well. 6 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: I am deeply I'm Debbie Brown and this is the 7 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,559 Speaker 1: Deeply Well Podcast. 8 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 4: Welcome back to the show. I'm Debbie Brown. As always, 9 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 4: thank you so much for being here. I hope this 10 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 4: season in your life is moving with alignment, with. 11 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 5: Ease, and with some softening to it. 12 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 4: Wherever you are in the world, however, this particular season 13 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 4: of life and this holiday season is affecting you. I 14 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 4: know for so many of us, there are a lot 15 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 4: of different unique challenges in this time of year. So 16 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 4: wherever you are, I hope that you are finding ways 17 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 4: to be with yourself, to nourish yourself and to support yourself. 18 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 4: All right, this episode, we have another very special episode. 19 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 4: This past October, we gathered for the fourth annual Mental 20 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 4: Wealth Expo. That is one of the big flagship events 21 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 4: that we do every year for the Mental Wealth Alliance, 22 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 4: which is an incredible foundation that is founded by my 23 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 4: brother Charlotte Mane the God and that I am a 24 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 4: very proud board member on. So this year I had 25 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 4: the honor of the privilege of hosting and creating two 26 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 4: really wonderful conversations that we at the stage with at 27 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 4: the expo, and I'm so grateful to share another one 28 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 4: with you here today. Today's episode is a beautiful exploration 29 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 4: of communication, the heartbeat of every single relationship that we hold, 30 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 4: whether with our loved ones, our communities, or within ourselves. 31 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 4: Many of us did not necessarily grow up with emotional 32 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 4: language or tools to process feelings and communicate without defensiveness 33 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 4: or tools to communicate what our truth is with ease. 34 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 4: So often breakdowns and connections come not from a lack 35 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 4: of love, but from an unprocessed emotion, from reactivity, or 36 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 4: from old patterns that we just haven't yet examined or 37 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 4: had the chance to garner technique or tools to transcend. 38 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 4: I'm joined today. I'm joined on this panel, I should say, 39 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 4: by two amazing women with amazing, really important work that 40 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 4: they bring to the world, Doctor Key Holman and DANAE. Logan, 41 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 4: two powerful voices in relational growth and communal healing. Together 42 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 4: we explore what conscious communication looks like in practice, responding 43 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 4: with clarity instead of reaction and choosing love over ego, 44 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 4: asking ourselves in moments of tension, do I want to 45 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,679 Speaker 4: be right or do I want to be in relationship. 46 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 4: I've had the pleasure of having both of these dynamic 47 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 4: women on the show previously, so if you get a chance, 48 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 4: look back in earlier episodes to check out the conversation 49 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 4: that I had with Dannay Logan from about two seasons ago, 50 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,559 Speaker 4: and a conversation I had earlier this season with Doctor 51 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 4: Key Holman. 52 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 3: So. 53 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,360 Speaker 4: Doctor Key is an entrepreneur and an author of No 54 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 4: One Is Self Made. Doctor Key empowers leaders to build 55 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 4: sustainable community rooted businessiness is through her village model. Dnay 56 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 4: Logan is a Los Angeles based marriage and family therapist 57 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 4: and author of Sovereign Love, A guide to healing relationships 58 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 4: by reclaiming the masculine and feminine within. Dnay blends shadow work, mindfulness, 59 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 4: and ritual to help people show up more authentically in 60 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 4: both relationships and self connection. In this episode, we talk 61 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 4: about honoring the gift of this generation, the ability to 62 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:33,799 Speaker 4: name our emotions, talk about our inner worlds, and heal 63 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 4: patterns our families may never have had the language for. 64 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 4: We discuss accountability as an act of love relationships as 65 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 4: sacred mirrors, and how self awareness and emotional responsibility deepen 66 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 4: our capacity to truly connect. This conversation invites us to 67 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 4: pause before we react, lead with curiosity, and practice repair 68 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 4: when miscommunication happens. It's about owning our patterns without shame, 69 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 4: releasing perfectionism, and choosing growth again and again. Towards the 70 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,559 Speaker 4: end of this conversation, doctor Key and in A share 71 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 4: personal practices from their work, from walking with God and 72 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:21,839 Speaker 4: nature to radical self compassion, to supporting you and communicating 73 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 4: with more present grace and heart in your own life 74 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 4: without further ado. Welcome to our beautiful conversation. So if 75 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 4: you can hear the sound of my voice, I want 76 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 4: to invite you to get uncrossed in your seat, straight spine, 77 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 4: soft belly, and we'll just ground into this moment with 78 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 4: one nice, full deep brah. Okay, we're going to do 79 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,479 Speaker 4: it in through the nose. We'll do it out with 80 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 4: her slips. 81 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 6: It'll sound like this. 82 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 4: Let it come all the way in and all the 83 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,119 Speaker 4: way out, all right. Go ahead and begin your deep 84 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 4: in hell through your nose. 85 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 6: Hold it at the top and let it out, all right. 86 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 6: How are you feeling good. 87 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 4: Let's begin this next restorative, juicy, full conversation. So today's 88 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 4: conversation is on effective communication. How many people wish either 89 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 4: the people around you could communicate better or would like 90 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 4: to find more tools for really, really excellent communication. Yeah, 91 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 4: thank you. Well, we are in for it because we 92 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 4: have some incredible women here to teach you in a 93 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 4: very deep way. In this conversation that we're having, we're 94 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 4: going to be unpacking emotional processing, emotional language, the art 95 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 4: of communicating without reacting or getting defensive or deflective. And 96 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 4: we're going to explore how to expand our emotional vocabularies 97 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 4: to really be able to talk about what. 98 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 6: And how we are feeling. 99 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 4: So I am so so so so deeply honored to 100 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 4: be joined by two powerful teachers for this conversation. Our 101 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 4: first amazing teacher and panelists is doctor Key Hallman. She 102 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,439 Speaker 4: is an entrepreneur and author of No One Is Self Made. 103 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 4: Doctor Key empowers leaders all over the country and world 104 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 4: to build sustainable, community rooted businesses through her village model. 105 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 4: Thank you so much for being here, Yes, thank you. 106 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 4: We are also joined by DANAE. 107 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 6: Logan. She is a Los Angeles based. 108 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 4: Marriage and family theorypist and author of Sovereign Love, A 109 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 4: Guide to healing relationships by reclaiming the masculine and feminine 110 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 4: within Dina Blend's shadow Work, mindfulness and ritual to help 111 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 4: people show up more authentically in both relationships and self connection. 112 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:17,839 Speaker 5: Thank you. 113 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 4: So together in this conversation, and before I get into 114 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 4: the questions we're going to impact, what does it even 115 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 4: mean to effectively communicate? What does that actually look like 116 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 4: in daily practice, whether it's in our families and homes 117 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 4: and our partnerships, our relationships that are most important to us, 118 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 4: or within our communities and the work we do and 119 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 4: the people we work with. So as a baseline to 120 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 4: really just kind of set this conversation is just to 121 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 4: acknowledge that many of us never learned emotional vocabulary or 122 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,719 Speaker 4: tools for healthy communication for so many reasons, but none 123 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 4: of those reasons do we have to be in judgment 124 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 4: of our selves because of communication breakdowns often come from 125 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 4: our own unprocessed emotions. Reactivity usually happens defensiveness, deflection, and 126 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 4: effective communication. When we really get to learn it and 127 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 4: be in practice with it, it strengthens not just our 128 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 4: personal relationships that we have with people but also the 129 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 4: health of our greater community and the organization organizations that 130 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 4: we are part of. 131 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 6: So I want to start. I'll start with you, doctor Key. 132 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 4: Many of us seem to really default to reactivity and conflict. 133 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 4: What practices help us or how do we begin to 134 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 4: kind of train our minds to help us slow down 135 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 4: a little bit so that we can respond to the 136 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 4: people near us with clarity. 137 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 5: deVie started with a hard question, y'all, that was hard. 138 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 5: That was honestly hard. So thanks Debby, I love you 139 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 5: for that. This is what I say. I think we 140 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 5: all have been in a moment where we responded by 141 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 5: how we felt more than processing how someone will receive 142 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 5: what we're saying. So just to make it plain, when 143 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 5: you start doing this and then you hit sind real 144 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:25,319 Speaker 5: hard and you take a moment and it was like, oh, 145 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 5: I wish I could take it back. The reality is 146 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 5: that we all have been there. If it's people that 147 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 5: we work with, if it's people that we love, folks 148 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 5: that we just like, sometimes, we all have been there. 149 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,199 Speaker 5: And we also see it a lot on social media, 150 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 5: where we used to call it Twitter fingers, but I 151 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 5: don't think that exists anymore. What works for me, and 152 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 5: what has worked is that I'm always in a place 153 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 5: that am I honoring myself? And how I respond to this? 154 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 5: Am I honoring the vessel of me being here? Am 155 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 5: I honoring myself when I hit respond or if I 156 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 5: hit sin? Because my greatest responsibility and how I'm trying 157 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 5: to show up in the world is I want to 158 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 5: show up in the world honorably. So that takes a 159 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 5: level of discipline to operate in honor. So if I 160 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 5: can give you all just a practice, before you hit sin, 161 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 5: you ask your You ask yourself and am I honoring 162 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 5: the highest of my being in this response? Am I 163 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,479 Speaker 5: responding from a place that my light is being illuminated? 164 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 5: Or is this or is this my darkness? Every time 165 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 5: I've asked myself those questions, I've had to sit my 166 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 5: own self down, put the phone down what Ericabadu said, 167 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 5: and I've had to say and wait before I respond. 168 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 5: So I hope those two things that you can just 169 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,719 Speaker 5: ask yourself the high use of my vibration? Am I responding? 170 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 5: Am I honoring myself? And how I'm responding? 171 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 6: That is so so good? 172 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 4: Could I ask you a part A to that question? 173 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 4: What about in the moments that we're convinced we're right 174 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 4: where you feel like, now, I gotta get this off 175 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 4: because I am right in this situation. 176 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 6: I know what I'm talking about. 177 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 5: Absolutely, we can be right, and we can be right 178 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 5: with love. So we're not responding from a place of 179 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 5: being inauthentic even when we're right. But it's this weapon 180 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 5: of our response. Is it meant to cause harm in 181 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 5: our rightness? These are the questions that we have to 182 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 5: ask ourselves. So I am emphatic when I think I'm right. 183 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 5: I just want you all to be clear. I sit 184 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:59,079 Speaker 5: up different too. I'm ready. But my work has given 185 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 5: me the discipline and that when whatever I put out 186 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 5: in the world, while I'm right, while i'm direct, I 187 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 5: make sure that it's coded in love, love for myself, 188 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 5: love for how I want to be held, and also 189 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 5: if this was reverse the way that I will want 190 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 5: to receive that type of love. Because we get give, 191 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 5: we give get, So I'm always in the cycle for 192 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 5: my own self love and self preservation. 193 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 6: Thank you. 194 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 4: Yes, I'm like, these are the things that like change 195 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 4: our lives, you know, Like That's what I've really been 196 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 4: taking away from this whole day, is like these are 197 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 4: the things. 198 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 6: This is what changes your life, you know that moment. 199 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 7: I'm laughing when you were working director key because I 200 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 7: think they say, you know you're growing when you're like 201 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 7: typing out the whole text message and then you start 202 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 7: to press delete, delete, like you know what, never mind, 203 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 7: because that's growth. 204 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, when you can make the paragraph like a sentence, 205 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 4: or get on the phone and kind of talk it out. 206 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, or not respond at all in that moment. 207 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, right, you don't have to have to And sometimes 208 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 4: in situations it's like, I don't have to participate with this. 209 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 4: This may be the energy you're giving me or what 210 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 4: you want to bring out of me, But it's always 211 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 4: that choice. 212 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 2: Can I add to that. 213 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 7: I think there's an old couple's therapy adage, and I 214 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 7: primarily work as a couple's therapist, and it's do I 215 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 7: want to be right or do I want to be 216 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 7: in relationship? And a lot of times we're prioritizing the 217 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 7: right and sacrificing the relationship and the harmony and the relationship. 218 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 7: And I think a lot of times the truth doesn't 219 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 7: need defense to the extent that we think it does. 220 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 2: Right, And so it's like things sort of play out 221 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 2: but if I need to be right. 222 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 7: A lot of times what I'm doing is creating ruptures 223 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 7: in our relationships that aren't really necessary for us to create. 224 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 6: So true, thank you, I'll see with you right now, Denay. 225 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 4: How do cultural or generational differences shape the way people 226 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 4: communicate their emotions and how can we bridge that space 227 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 4: that gap with some compassion? And I mean in the 228 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 4: sense that we're all navigating intergenerational relationships right, Like certain 229 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 4: things we wish our parents could just get, Like why 230 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 4: don't they get that? Or our children or you know 231 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 4: that plays such a role. 232 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that question. 233 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 7: I think that's something we were talking about earlier today, 234 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 7: that there's a lot of ways that in terms of 235 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 7: mental health and the processing and the tools that so 236 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 7: many of us are doing so much work to accumulate. 237 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 7: Our parents didn't have a lot of access to that. 238 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 7: Our parents' parents didn't have a lot of access to that, 239 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 7: and it was sort of a lot of times in 240 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 7: other generations children should be seen and not heard and 241 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 7: like compliant child is a good child and things of 242 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 7: that nature. That we understand more about what that's doing 243 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 7: to our emotional health, and I think we have to 244 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 7: give a lot of grace to those of our family 245 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 7: members who for really good reason and a lot of 246 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 7: times we're afraid of seeing a therapist or you know, 247 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 7: there are aspects of what that meant within Black communities 248 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 7: that we have to be really honest about that haven't 249 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 7: been talked about in terms of our mental health. And 250 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 7: so yeah, I mean, we're here and we're doing this work, 251 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 7: and I think at the same time we have to 252 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,359 Speaker 7: I don't know. Just sitting here and seeing all of 253 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 7: you gather to talk about mental health makes my heart 254 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 7: so happy because I feel like ten years ago there 255 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,160 Speaker 7: was still so much stigma, especially in the black community 256 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 7: around I'm struggling, I'm overwhelmed. I'm really struggling with anxiety 257 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 7: or depression or whatever it was. And I think we 258 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 7: were really doing a lot of work to put a 259 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 7: lot of that down. 260 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 4: Truly, like the way the landscape has shifted, the way 261 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 4: that we're able to be with each other or just 262 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,640 Speaker 4: call a thing a thing sometimes is like what we 263 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 4: were held back from doctor Key. 264 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 5: Yes, I would love to add to that, we were 265 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 5: having a conversation upstairs. What I want us to understand 266 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 5: to even be in this space today as a privilege. 267 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 5: So while we're here to talk about wellness and to 268 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 5: get tools about being well, the work stops if you 269 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 5: only came here to get something and to not share 270 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 5: what you learn. The gift of our generation is that 271 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 5: we have the privilege to know different communication modalities. We 272 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 5: have the gift of being able to convene on a 273 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 5: Saturday morning and talk about our feelings and talk about communicating. 274 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 5: I think if we take life in these moments as 275 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,719 Speaker 5: gifts and privilege, then we would have grace and compassion 276 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 5: for the things that our mothers and grandmothers and great 277 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:48,439 Speaker 5: grandmothers and fathers could not do. Because I don't know 278 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 5: all about y'all. Me and my mother rest in peace. But 279 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 5: on Saturdays she was working, and I can imagine that 280 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 5: she dreamt of spaces like this, and even in her 281 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 5: wildest dreams, she didn't even know in the moment of 282 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 5: her working and trying to take care of my siblings 283 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,639 Speaker 5: and I that when she was exhausted, she was a 284 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 5: little bit more harsh. When she was fatigued, she was 285 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:18,879 Speaker 5: a little bit more impatient when life was wearing her down. 286 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,360 Speaker 5: Sometimes she just couldn't physically show up because her vessel 287 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 5: was tired, and I sit on this stage today and 288 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 5: I know the gift of my life is the privilege 289 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 5: of her sacrifices. And so what I am welcoming for 290 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:42,360 Speaker 5: my nephews is the privilege of them understanding that their 291 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 5: greatest self exists if they take whatever I pour into 292 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 5: them to take it further. So I'm hoping that you 293 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 5: all take these moments today, all these conversations, drop it 294 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,680 Speaker 5: in your household and in your friend group. But then 295 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,679 Speaker 5: you have to push and say, we gotta take it 296 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,880 Speaker 5: first there, because that is why we are here. 297 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, wow, wow, we can. I know we can all 298 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,800 Speaker 4: deeply relate to that. And that level of grace and 299 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:15,880 Speaker 4: compassion is so important, especially in our family relationships because 300 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 4: those really deserve it. You know, our family relationships are 301 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:23,640 Speaker 4: often the hardest. It's our spiritual curriculum. It's where it starts, 302 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 4: you know. But being able to bring grace to that 303 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:38,880 Speaker 4: and dignity to the experience and understanding is so important. 304 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 3: Deeply. 305 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:42,639 Speaker 4: Well, I want to ask, so we're giving tools, right, Like, 306 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 4: we're talking about some tools and processes, but ultimately change 307 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 4: doesn't really occur without a greater sense of personal self 308 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,959 Speaker 4: awareness of like what your role is in life and 309 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 4: your conversation. So from each of you, I'd love and 310 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 4: I'll start with you Tonnay. What what is the role 311 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 4: of self awareness? How important is that personal work overall, 312 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 4: and how you're able to do this more community based 313 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 4: in a personal relationship work. 314 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 7: Yeah, I think the personal work and what I like 315 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 7: to talk about a lot is personal responsibility is everything 316 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 7: because we can only meet another to the extent that 317 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 7: we've met ourselves, right, So if we're really hard on ourselves, 318 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 7: it's really hard for us to be compassionate with other people. 319 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 7: And I think whenever we're talking about relationships, so much 320 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 7: of what we were talking about like we want to 321 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 7: be understood, we want to be right, we want to 322 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 7: sort of defend the. 323 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 2: Truth as we see it. 324 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,199 Speaker 7: And something I come back to a lot is like 325 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 7: our work is to pause and really try to understand 326 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 7: before being understood, right, And if I can make that 327 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 7: the practice and almost sometimes like the mantra, seek to 328 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 7: understand before seeking to be understood, Like I will say 329 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 7: that to myself in relationship dynamics, But there's something that 330 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 7: happens when we're in a relationship with another person, when 331 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 7: they feel seen and heard by us. Instantly, the defenses 332 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,119 Speaker 7: start to drop a little bit and we start to soften, 333 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 7: and we're in conversation versus sort of like battling it 334 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,640 Speaker 7: out to be understood. Right, So I think, if I 335 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 7: can just really take responsibility for myself and am I 336 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 7: really trying to understand or am I demanding that this 337 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 7: person see me and understand me, it just takes things 338 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 7: a lot further in terms of how we're able to 339 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 7: connect with one another. 340 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, deeply. And I'm hearing too. It's like how holistic 341 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,359 Speaker 4: it all is. 342 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 5: Right. 343 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 4: It's like, as you're doing that work with another, you 344 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 4: are also doing your own inner work, whether you're thinking 345 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 4: about it or not. 346 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:36,640 Speaker 6: Yeah. 347 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 7: And I think if we see these relationships as sacred 348 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 7: mirrors a lot of times and showing us to ourselves. 349 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,399 Speaker 7: And when I feel really activated or when I feel 350 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 7: really like it's difficult to tolerate the way this person 351 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 7: is showing up, why is that so hard for me? 352 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 2: Can I be curious? 353 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 7: Not judging myself, But like I always say, if it's 354 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 7: hysterical within me, there's something historical, And so there's probably 355 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 7: a story I'm telling myself about something I felt in 356 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 7: the past. That is really making me defend against what 357 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 7: I'm feeling now. But normally it's not about what's going 358 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 7: on right now. It's something historic that's coming up for me. 359 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 3: You know. 360 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so important that distinction, Like what did I 361 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 4: walk into the room with already? 362 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 5: Absolutely? 363 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you doctor key. 364 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,679 Speaker 5: So y'all do this thing every every night before I 365 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 5: go to sleep, right before I send my prayers, I 366 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 5: asked myself, were there moments in the day that I 367 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,640 Speaker 5: could have been more kinder to myself? There are moments 368 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 5: in a day that I should have just given myself 369 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,679 Speaker 5: a little bit more grace. But there are moments in 370 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 5: a day that I wish I did not hear seeing 371 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 5: on ned tacks. Were there are moments in the day 372 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,439 Speaker 5: that the way I showed up was really not my 373 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 5: highest self. And however, I answer those questions where all 374 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 5: my yeses are all my nose I look at as 375 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 5: an invitation that awareness only grants and open the door 376 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 5: for us to be better. So like, if you have 377 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 5: the muscle of awareness, like you see yourself, like you 378 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 5: know it's you when you being toxic? Okay, and say 379 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 5: that again, hold on y'all listening. We know it's us 380 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 5: when we're being toxic. If you are aware in this 381 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 5: moment like, oh, that was me, I want you to 382 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 5: see it as an invitation that you have the gift 383 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,400 Speaker 5: of awareness to know is you, and it's only an 384 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 5: invitation for you to do better next time, and also 385 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:46,440 Speaker 5: to go back and for me, I apologize, because an 386 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 5: apology is all also an invitation to tell another person 387 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 5: it was me. And I hope what I'm mirroring back 388 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,960 Speaker 5: to another person that when is them, it empowers them 389 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 5: to do the same. Do these self assessments, but I 390 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,439 Speaker 5: want to share that there were times in my life 391 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 5: when I did my own self assessments and I was 392 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:12,119 Speaker 5: far too hard on myself. People who are perfectionists and 393 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 5: I'm a recovering one, that a plus plus student. That 394 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:21,679 Speaker 5: was me. But I had to learn that even in 395 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 5: a pursuit of perfection, was distorting my own vision for 396 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,159 Speaker 5: who I'm meant to be. And so I had to 397 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 5: let perfectionism go and I just allowed myself to just 398 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 5: be emphatically who I am, all the nuance and even 399 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,639 Speaker 5: the contradictions, all the love and all the light and 400 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,639 Speaker 5: in moments some dark, because we all are a spectrum 401 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 5: But because I do this self assessment work. Every time 402 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,679 Speaker 5: I wake up in the morning, I look at myself 403 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 5: in the mirror. I know the woman that's looking back 404 00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,160 Speaker 5: at me, and I love the person that I'm seeing, 405 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 5: the work assessed, the work of us doing our work. 406 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 5: It's truly just an invitation so we can be our 407 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,719 Speaker 5: highest selves. And then we get to meet people along 408 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 5: the journey and we get to show up illuminating our light. 409 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,760 Speaker 5: And a thing about light is either going to run 410 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:24,399 Speaker 5: somebody away or draw more people to us. That is 411 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 5: the gift of light. 412 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 4: Come on, wow, Yeah. 413 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 6: Why is accountability so hard for people? 414 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 2: You know, it's funny. 415 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 7: As you were talking, doctor K I was thinking that 416 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,200 Speaker 7: there's a part of us, our ego mind. A lot 417 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 7: of times, the part of us that I always say 418 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,880 Speaker 7: edges God out or edges like that we are beyond 419 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,960 Speaker 7: just these human bodies, right, that we are eternal. But 420 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 7: it really struggles with the idea that I'm not diminished 421 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 7: in any way by being wrong, and that we came here. 422 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 7: I believe in this life school to like work, it 423 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 7: out to be valuable to make mistakes, and that's a 424 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 7: part of how we learn. We can't learn by being perfect, 425 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 7: Like I have not learned a lot in my life 426 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,880 Speaker 7: in the times when I got things perfect. It's normally 427 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 7: when I, you know, I fall a little short, and 428 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 7: I forgive myself and I try again next time. But 429 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,119 Speaker 7: I think when we're apologizing and taking accountability for the 430 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 7: way that we showed up and like I wish I 431 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,919 Speaker 7: would have done that better, it's really like I have 432 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 7: to remind myself no part of me is diminished by 433 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 7: being human. Like I think a lot of times we're 434 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:33,199 Speaker 7: expecting something beyond our humanity, and it really requires that 435 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 7: we start there, like, yes, I'm going to mess up. 436 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,640 Speaker 2: That's a part of this human experience, you. 437 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 6: Know, yes, and we all will yes. 438 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,399 Speaker 5: I think you know, many of us was raised in 439 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 5: how American society is designed, even from our early years 440 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 5: in school. There's rules for everything. There's right, there's wrong, 441 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 5: and so so much of what we were taught about 442 00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 5: accountability only came up in moments that we were told 443 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:04,399 Speaker 5: we were wrong. So they're there when accountability shows up 444 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 5: at our door. I think our defenses come up because 445 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,840 Speaker 5: we feel that we are wrong, and when we respond 446 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 5: from a place of being defensive, ego is there trying 447 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,359 Speaker 5: to protect us. The little girl little boy who is 448 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,159 Speaker 5: always told that they were wrong or different shows up 449 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,000 Speaker 5: trying to protect us. So there is so much in 450 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 5: society that has constructed the way that we think, and 451 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 5: because we are we have been programmed to think and 452 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 5: feel a certain way that we don't even understand that 453 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,760 Speaker 5: I'm showing up in this way of not being able 454 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,560 Speaker 5: to be held accountable because I am in my programming. 455 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 5: So what I'm what helps me is that I'm always 456 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 5: working to deprogram the societal things that has been seeped 457 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 5: into my spirit. I'm always working to to say, kid, 458 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 5: is this how you feel? Is this the way you 459 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,760 Speaker 5: are taught to feel? This is this is how is 460 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 5: this is in the essence of your being? Or it's 461 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 5: just a product of this societal programming. But accountability, if 462 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 5: we can tell ego to chill out for a minute, 463 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 5: we can tell our little girl a little boy selves 464 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 5: we're safe, and to say that accountability is only an 465 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 5: opportunity to level up. Every time that I get to 466 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,400 Speaker 5: be held accountable for something that I could have done differently, 467 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,160 Speaker 5: It's only a door for me to level up. Don't 468 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 5: we all simply want to level up from day to day, 469 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 5: season to season, year to year, birthday to birthday. So 470 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 5: if you look at accountability as an invitation to level up, 471 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 5: I tell you all to accept it fully because we're 472 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 5: meant and we are here to be our highest selves. 473 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 5: To hold accountability as an honor and tell your little 474 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 5: girl little boy self, you're good, you're safe, you're understood, 475 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,160 Speaker 5: and even if you didn't have right in this moment, 476 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 5: you steel okay, oh. 477 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 4: Wow, thank you both like that. That that's some of 478 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 4: our deepest work, you know. And I think nothing kind 479 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 4: of destroys the trust in any relationship more than like 480 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 4: passive apologies and passive accountability. 481 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,760 Speaker 7: Yeah, And I think so often why we don't apologize 482 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,520 Speaker 7: or we're not accountable is when we apologize a lot 483 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 7: of times, instead of the like acceptance of the apology, 484 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 7: the person will be like, yeah. 485 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 2: And when you did that, da no da da da, 486 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 2: And so it's like not going. 487 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,720 Speaker 7: To not do that right because all of us will 488 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 7: defend against shame, right. 489 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 2: I think you're right. 490 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,680 Speaker 7: So often our earliest experiences of accountability were really rooted 491 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 7: in shame, and as humans, no matter what, we're going 492 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,000 Speaker 7: to defend against the way shame feels at all costs 493 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 7: so understanding that I don't have to be perfect in 494 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 7: order to be worthy of love. I'm already worthy. But yeah, 495 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,040 Speaker 7: it's a little like, even when people can't receive my 496 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 7: apology or my accountability, I'm proud of me for doing 497 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 7: the thing and saying the thing, you know. 498 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, because we can be wrong and not be like 499 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,320 Speaker 4: fundamentally wrong as a being, as a person. 500 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 5: You know. 501 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 4: Like one of the things that drives me nuts is 502 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 4: when people will be like, well, if you if you 503 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 4: did feel any kind of way about such and such, 504 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 4: then I'm no, you know, you made the person. 505 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 6: Feel that way. Like, let's just say it, you know, 506 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 6: and create space for that. 507 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 4: But thank you both so much. We are so close 508 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,560 Speaker 4: to being out of time, but I'm gonna push my 509 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 4: limits because I really want to get these questions. So 510 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 4: my next question for each of you is what does 511 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:44,000 Speaker 4: it look like to begin to reset or repair a 512 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 4: relationship that is stuck in constant miscommunication? 513 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 5: I'll take it. 514 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 2: Constant miscommunication. 515 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 7: Thinking about that, you know, I think if I'm I'm 516 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 7: in this space where I like to do a thing 517 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,600 Speaker 7: called segment intending, right, and it's a little bit I 518 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,960 Speaker 7: really am intentional around the energy that I want to 519 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 7: bring into this space between me and this person. 520 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 2: I do this with my kids dad a lot, right, 521 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,000 Speaker 2: So it'll be like, before. 522 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 7: I go into this, I know that we have a 523 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,479 Speaker 7: tendency to get in conflict about certain things. Now, there 524 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 7: are ways that a lot of times when we are 525 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,880 Speaker 7: in our most intimate relationships, that's actually where we feel 526 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 7: safest to get in these patterns of conflict. Any of 527 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 7: you who have children know when you drop them off 528 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 7: at you know, primary school or whatever, they'll be like. 529 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 2: Oh, that child is a little angel. And then they'll 530 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 2: bring the child back to you and you'll be like, 531 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,360 Speaker 2: what angel, because they like wow. 532 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 7: When they get home to you, because you're their safe space. 533 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,480 Speaker 7: You're the place where they can be their fullest expression 534 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,600 Speaker 7: of selves. But that's actually what happens in our most 535 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 7: intimate relationships as well. It's like I feel safe sometimes 536 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:57,920 Speaker 7: being not the highest self version of me. But if 537 00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,800 Speaker 7: we can really say, like, I want to take so 538 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,560 Speaker 7: much much responsibility for the way that I am showing 539 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 7: up in our dynamic, the energy that I bring, and 540 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 7: we can do a pause and reset at any moment. 541 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,760 Speaker 7: So I will tell couples all the time if you 542 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 7: feel like I've lost it and I'm just not proud 543 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:14,800 Speaker 7: of the way I'm showing up. Just say to your 544 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 7: partner or whoever the person is, you know it, give 545 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 7: me five minutes. I'm going to into the bathroom. I 546 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,239 Speaker 7: need a pause, I need a break, and then like 547 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,360 Speaker 7: have another moment of like segment and tending when I 548 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 7: go back in there. 549 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 2: Here's how I want to show up. 550 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 7: Here's the way I want to be energetically in our interaction, 551 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 7: and we can do that at any time. But I 552 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:37,240 Speaker 7: also think curiosity is really important because when we're really 553 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,560 Speaker 7: intimate with someone else and we know one another really well, 554 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 7: we think that we know what they're going to say 555 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,440 Speaker 7: before they say it, and we start finishing their sentences 556 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,200 Speaker 7: and rolling our eyes. It's just it's human stuff when 557 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 7: we're really close to people. But if I can just 558 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 7: be so curious about your experience and what's happening for 559 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,920 Speaker 7: you and not draw my own conclusions, I think that's 560 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 7: how we break those patterns of communication because a lot 561 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 7: of times we're not curious, so we're not really hearing 562 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,160 Speaker 7: one another anymore. 563 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:09,480 Speaker 6: You know that's so good? Yeah, so true. 564 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 4: I'll ask you both, what is one daily practice that 565 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,200 Speaker 4: you recommend from each of your teachings and books, which, 566 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,840 Speaker 4: by the way, if I haven't said this already, both 567 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:24,680 Speaker 4: of these women have phenomenal, phenomenal books that are out. 568 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,760 Speaker 4: So I really encourage everyone to get on their pages 569 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 4: and order the things. But what is a practice from 570 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 4: each of your teachings that the audience can start today 571 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 4: to kind of get them into a space for better 572 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 4: communication but also just a better lived experience. 573 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:46,120 Speaker 5: In chapter six of my book, I talk about and 574 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 5: for entrepreneurs and small business owners or builders, even folks 575 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,719 Speaker 5: who are in corporate companies and say, you know, I'm 576 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:57,080 Speaker 5: just trying to show up differently. I wrote a book 577 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 5: with how we can do that as a collective, How 578 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,120 Speaker 5: we can move away from individualism because I think it 579 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,799 Speaker 5: is has led to the breaking down of our community, 580 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 5: and how do we get back to collectivism. While a 581 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 5: lot of my work is centered on economic liberation, what 582 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 5: I know for sure is that if we do not 583 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,280 Speaker 5: take care of our minds, body, and spirit, the money 584 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:26,800 Speaker 5: is for not. We can invest an over index and 585 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,520 Speaker 5: want of our business and our endeavors and our careers 586 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:33,239 Speaker 5: to scale, but we don't want our souls to scale up. 587 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,799 Speaker 5: So I write about these things, but I share the 588 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 5: things that I do. Debbie open with One of the 589 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 5: things that I do, especially when I get stressed or 590 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 5: if I am getting ready and if I'm having a 591 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,799 Speaker 5: tougher conversation with someone that we do not communicate the best, 592 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:57,200 Speaker 5: I always take a deep breath because that deep breath 593 00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 5: centers and calms my nervous system and it's me back 594 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,120 Speaker 5: in my body again and I remember who and whose 595 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:08,160 Speaker 5: I am in that moment. Another thing that I do 596 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 5: every day beyond me taking my deep breasts and if 597 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,399 Speaker 5: you can and you have access to it, and if 598 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 5: your body allows, I go outside and I go for 599 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,719 Speaker 5: my walks, y'all. I'll be out there hugging trees and everything. 600 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:27,399 Speaker 5: But my walks center me the things. And I don't 601 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 5: listen to anything. I don't talk on the phone. I'm 602 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:34,840 Speaker 5: just allowing myself to be freely disconnected but connected to 603 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:41,240 Speaker 5: the source. And while I am, I'm a deeply spiritual person. 604 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 5: So I always feel a part of my journey is 605 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:51,120 Speaker 5: I'm always looking for God in the things. So seeing 606 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,799 Speaker 5: in the spring flowers blooming, I'd be like, I see you, guy, 607 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,879 Speaker 5: and I know you see me, and I look at 608 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,719 Speaker 5: these trees, and magnolia trees are my faces. When I 609 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,040 Speaker 5: see I see the face of God, and it centers 610 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:08,160 Speaker 5: me every single time. Y'all, so things that we have power, 611 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,840 Speaker 5: We can control our breathing. And when you find yourself 612 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,520 Speaker 5: about to go there, you about to say that thing, 613 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 5: always remember your higher self and take a breath and 614 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,399 Speaker 5: hold it for a moment. You got to remember who 615 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,399 Speaker 5: you are and if your life allows it, and if 616 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,920 Speaker 5: your body allows it, if you can get outside. If 617 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,279 Speaker 5: it's not every day, I deploy upon you to get 618 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,600 Speaker 5: outside and take a walk around your neighborhood or wherever 619 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 5: you may live. And while you're not, if you can 620 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:44,120 Speaker 5: disconnect from talking to people and allow yourself to be 621 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 5: heard and held by nature and by God. This helps me. 622 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:54,000 Speaker 5: I'm only here today because I have these practices. 623 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:56,719 Speaker 6: Be'tiful? 624 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:00,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. 625 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,840 Speaker 7: For me, the most effective tool in my toolbox, honestly 626 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 7: is radical self compassion. And I think my entire life 627 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 7: shifted the day that I decided that I get to 628 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,920 Speaker 7: be a work in progress. And I always say I 629 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,600 Speaker 7: forgive myself for everything. I forgive myself for the person 630 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,520 Speaker 7: I was five minutes ago. I'm a new denay, and 631 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,280 Speaker 7: I think with every breath we get to begin again, 632 00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,439 Speaker 7: and that's the power of really being in presence, right, 633 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,319 Speaker 7: and that everything is here to teach me. 634 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,840 Speaker 2: This is my soul's curriculum, I believe. 635 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,040 Speaker 5: But yeah, I. 636 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:37,399 Speaker 7: Think in the world, so much of the chaos and 637 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 7: the polarization and the real difficulty seeing other people I 638 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,200 Speaker 7: think comes from how much we demand perfection of ourselves. 639 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,719 Speaker 7: And I think the extent to which I can be 640 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,440 Speaker 7: compassionate with myself, I just find myself able to be 641 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,440 Speaker 7: so much more compassionate with those around me. So yeah, 642 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,120 Speaker 7: I think if we can just decide, like you get 643 00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,800 Speaker 7: to be human, you get to fall short and forgive 644 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,440 Speaker 7: yourself and begin again as many times as you need to, 645 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:07,400 Speaker 7: forever and ever. Amen, That to me has been the 646 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 7: game changer. 647 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,239 Speaker 6: Thank you so much. 648 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, the practices each of you shared, I mean they 649 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,359 Speaker 4: really are life changing, and I just want to share 650 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 4: with everyone here. Sometimes we think our story is too 651 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,760 Speaker 4: hard or too dark, or the thing we're going through 652 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,400 Speaker 4: with ourselves or with the person with us, that it's 653 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,840 Speaker 4: so big that stopping to like be with nature or 654 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,400 Speaker 4: take that breath or take that moment, that can't do it. 655 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,759 Speaker 4: That just won't be enough to heal or fix this. 656 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,839 Speaker 4: But the truth is, like that is really those are 657 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,719 Speaker 4: the only things that really can because it's about you 658 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 4: being in your body, observing your life, having your experience. 659 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,520 Speaker 4: So they are just such essential things to consider to 660 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,279 Speaker 4: slowly add into your life that breath we did when 661 00:39:55,280 --> 00:40:01,480 Speaker 4: we came out. Fifteen seconds. You got fifteen seconds, right. 662 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,279 Speaker 4: We can spend a couple minutes on ourselves and our 663 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,640 Speaker 4: bodies because Lord knows, we give our energy and we 664 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,759 Speaker 4: give ourselves to so many other things that we don't 665 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,360 Speaker 4: get an investment back on, you know, like scrolling or 666 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,239 Speaker 4: binge watching. But thank you both so much for this 667 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,040 Speaker 4: powerful conversation, and I want to further echo before we 668 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:27,080 Speaker 4: leave this stage. You know, even using these tools, you 669 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:32,399 Speaker 4: might get it wrong sometimes, but it's practicing, it's doing 670 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,959 Speaker 4: it different the next time. It's not getting it wrong, 671 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 4: and then just saying well, this is the way it's 672 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,720 Speaker 4: going to be, this is how I am. It's every 673 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 4: time you get a chance to practice, you get to 674 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,080 Speaker 4: experiment with these tools and these new ways of being 675 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,040 Speaker 4: with the people in your life and with yourself. So 676 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,480 Speaker 4: I just want to shout out one more time, doctor 677 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,760 Speaker 4: Key's latest book new book is No One Is Self 678 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,440 Speaker 4: Made and DANAE. Logan's book is Sovereign Love. Thank you 679 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:01,480 Speaker 4: both so much for joining us. DEVI, what's the name 680 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,719 Speaker 4: of your book? Yes, I have a new book out too. 681 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,200 Speaker 4: It's called Living in Wisdom and it's a guide for 682 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:12,840 Speaker 4: embracing grief and developing self mastery. So grief is constant, 683 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 4: joy is there too? How do we make harmony with 684 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:17,799 Speaker 4: both in our life? Thank you so much. 685 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,359 Speaker 6: Thank you everyone, Thank you for being here. 686 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:27,879 Speaker 4: M okay, yes, I adore them. Thank you everyone for 687 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,799 Speaker 4: spending time with us today. Thank you so much to 688 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:35,520 Speaker 4: doctor Key and today yet again for saying yes to 689 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:37,400 Speaker 4: this when I ask them to be a part. 690 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:40,840 Speaker 6: Of this conversation, to fly to New Jersey. 691 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,520 Speaker 4: To spend time away from their lives to join us 692 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,840 Speaker 4: in community. With the thousands of people in the Triceda 693 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 4: area that joined us for this incredible half day of programming, 694 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,480 Speaker 4: I cannot say thank you enough. They joined me with 695 00:41:55,440 --> 00:42:00,200 Speaker 4: just the true care of their hearts and generosity as 696 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:05,440 Speaker 4: we did this for the community. As everyone moves forward 697 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,800 Speaker 4: from listening to this conversation, I really invite you to notice, 698 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 4: as soul work the moments that you feel activated, the 699 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:18,120 Speaker 4: moments where defensiveness rises, when urgency wants to take over, 700 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:23,279 Speaker 4: when being right feels more important than being connected. These 701 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,760 Speaker 4: are all sacred invitations and opportunities to pause, to soften, 702 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,760 Speaker 4: to breathe, and to choose again. We get to honor 703 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,960 Speaker 4: all of the generations that came before us who didn't 704 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,640 Speaker 4: have this language, while still using our voices to build 705 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 4: new patterns of honesty, compassion, and repair. Share this episode 706 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 4: with a friend who needs it in your life. Who 707 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,200 Speaker 4: would this be a great icebreaker for? 708 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,560 Speaker 6: Where are things unsaid? 709 00:42:53,760 --> 00:43:02,040 Speaker 4: Where are conversations unfinished and not completed? Maybe this podcast 710 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,840 Speaker 4: episode can be the olive branch. Please share with me 711 00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:11,239 Speaker 4: how it landed, how you're using this conversation, Share it 712 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 4: on threads, on ig anywhere else that you like to 713 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 4: share the deeper things. And I can't wait to be 714 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,920 Speaker 4: back with you next week. Thank you so much for listening. 715 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 4: Please give us a five star review, a written review 716 00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 4: on Apple, and we'll be back now. 717 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:30,600 Speaker 6: I'm that mistay. 718 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:37,400 Speaker 4: The content presented on Deeply Well serves solely for educational 719 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:41,200 Speaker 4: and informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement 720 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:45,359 Speaker 4: for personalized medical or mental health guidance and does not 721 00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:50,400 Speaker 4: constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, it is advisable 722 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,840 Speaker 4: to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for 723 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:58,960 Speaker 4: any specific concerns or questions that you may have. Connect 724 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:03,000 Speaker 4: with me on social at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram, 725 00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:06,120 Speaker 4: or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. 726 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,839 Speaker 4: And if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, 727 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:13,160 Speaker 4: don't forget, Please rate, review, and subscribe and send this 728 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:16,200 Speaker 4: episode to a friend. Deeply Well is a production of 729 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 4: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas, 730 00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:25,360 Speaker 4: Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown. The Beautiful Soundbath You 731 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:30,440 Speaker 4: Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more 732 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,759 Speaker 4: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you 733 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,400 Speaker 4: listen to your favorite shows.