1 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk. This is a new 2 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: weekly series that is a part of my I've Never 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: said this before podcasts where I am talking about things 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: that I've never really publicly talked about before. Right, I'm 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,959 Speaker 1: giving you a little glimpse into my brain for once 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: instead of all the guests that I bring on. And 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: today's topic is when to let go of a friendship? Now, 8 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 1: this is something that I think is very relatable as 9 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: we all continue to get older and older. It's something 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: I've never really had to experience until lately. To be honest, 11 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: there are two friendships in my life that sally are 12 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: no longer what they once were, and it's a little 13 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: jarring when it happens. It kind of takes you off guard, 14 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: especially if you're somebody like me who really prides himself 15 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: on fostering relationships and being good to the people in 16 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: your life and holding on to those that you really love. 17 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: It really kind of rocks your world when it does happen. 18 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: But here's the thing, you, guys. If a friendship is 19 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: no longer serving you, if it's becoming unhealthy for you, 20 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 1: if the same old things keep happening over and over 21 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: and over, again, if you're not getting what you need 22 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: out of it, it's time to really really take stock 23 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: of who those people are in your life. It's not easy, 24 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: it's not always fun, but I think it's really necessary 25 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: and important for your own well being and your own 26 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: mental health. And there are people in your life who 27 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: I'm sure you've been friends with forever, maybe for the 28 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: whole duration of your life. I have those people, and 29 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 1: we barely have ever had one problem or one fight 30 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 1: or anything serious at least like stupid stuff when you're kids, right, 31 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: But when I think about the serious side of life, 32 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: there are people I've never had one single issue with. 33 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: And then there are people who I think you would 34 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: agree with me on that like to cause issues for 35 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: no reason, and that's just not fun. Life is way 36 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: too short to deal with the drama. I am not 37 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: dinto drama. I think we have enough that life throws 38 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: our way, So why in the world are we going 39 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: to sit here and welcome unnecessary drama. That's one big 40 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: thing for me. That's a huge red flag for me. 41 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: If somebody likes to create drama all the time, it 42 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: makes your life a little bit. 43 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 2: More stressful or difficult. 44 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: Ooh, I don't know, You've got to really consider who 45 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: that person is in your life, so when to know 46 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 1: when it's time to let go of a friendship. Like 47 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: I said earlier, I have two people, unfortunately in my 48 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: life where this happened to and admittedly I don't believe 49 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: there was anything on my side that I did to 50 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: deserve the treatment that I received. And that's what makes 51 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: everything really sad. 52 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: When you have to let go of a friendship. 53 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 1: It's because when you know you've been there for somebody 54 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: and you've been by their side, and you've done nothing 55 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: but lift them up and support them and show up 56 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: for them over and over and over and over again, 57 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: and then you get treated a certain way with zero 58 00:02:55,720 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: remorse or zero awareness that that's not right. It's a problem. 59 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: And listen, I'm not somebody who's like you have to 60 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: write off everybody, or if anybody wronged you, like cut 61 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: them out immediately. I'm talking about patterns. When you see 62 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 1: something that repeatedly happens over and over again, you have 63 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: to take stock of that. It's not fair to you. 64 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: It really isn't fair to you. And I'm a pretty, 65 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: I don't know, easy, low key, undemanding friend. I have 66 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 1: friends that live across the country. You don't need to 67 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: text me or call me every day or even every week. 68 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: We can pick up where we left off, and I'm 69 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: cool with that. Like, I have very very little demands 70 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 1: in a friendship, And I think that's also important to say, 71 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: because you have to be realistic with someone, Like if 72 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: you're not being realistic with the person you're upset with, 73 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: you also have to look at yourself, right, But when 74 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: somebody is proving to be I guess the word, and 75 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: it's a harsh word. Is selfish repeatedly, that's something that's 76 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: not fair to you. Okay, So is there somebody in 77 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: your life who you're always there for. You're always asking 78 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: how they are, You're always showing up for them, You're 79 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: always wrapping them in a big hug because they need 80 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: help or support or guidance, but you haven't really received 81 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: the same. 82 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 83 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's something that has happened to me recently. And 84 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: here's the thing. We all go through a lot in 85 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,840 Speaker 1: our lives, and maybe we don't share everything we go 86 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: through with the people that are close to us and 87 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: the people that we do love, But that doesn't mean 88 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: they shouldn't be checking in and asking one simple thing, 89 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: which is how are you doing? 90 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 2: How are you right? 91 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: That's kind of the minimum I feel like in a 92 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: friendship is just ask me how I'm doing. But then 93 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: for me specifically, when I tell you something really personal, 94 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: and something personal was that my mom went through breast cancer. 95 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: She is fine, she did radiation, she got a lumpek 96 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: to me, and she's okay. And I didn't tell a 97 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 1: lot of people that, but a few people I did tell, 98 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: and one of the people I told never once followed 99 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: up on that, never once asked me how she is, 100 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: never once checked in on me, never once said are 101 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: you okay? I know this is really scary nothing, And 102 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: this is somebody who at the time I considered one 103 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: of my greatest friends. So that's an example of a 104 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 1: red flag, and a red flag meaning there's just basic 105 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: things you do in a friendship. If you're so close 106 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: to somebody to show that you're there for them, that 107 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: you need to kind of show up and do right, 108 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: and it's disappointing. It's disappointing when things like that don't happen. 109 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: So that's I'm not here to air anyone's names or 110 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: really dive into what the problem is. But I kind 111 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: of want this to be a signal or a sign 112 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 1: for you if you're listening today, that there are certain 113 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,479 Speaker 1: things that you need to recognize if a friendship is 114 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: no longer serving you, and you can't go on forever 115 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: acting like it is, because that's just. 116 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 2: Not healthy for you. 117 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: Life is short, I always say, all of us collectively 118 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: have such limited time between work and engagements that were 119 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 1: already obliged to and whatever the case may be, that 120 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: when we do a free time, we want to spend 121 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: it with people that fill our cups. And if you're 122 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 1: not filling that cup, why are you spending time with 123 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: that person? So for me, when to know a friendship 124 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: has run its course or when you have to let 125 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: go of it is a the person has severely changed 126 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: and it's not the person that you've known forever, and 127 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: the changes aren't necessarily for the good. And when you 128 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: bring something up or address it, they don't want to 129 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: hear it. That's not good. That's not the person you 130 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 1: fell in love with as a friend, right, And we 131 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 1: all grow and evolve and change, but hopefully it's for 132 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: the better, and hopefully it's for the greater good. But 133 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,159 Speaker 1: when you're not seeing that happen with somebody, that's a 134 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,360 Speaker 1: red flag. And if they don't want to talk about 135 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 1: that or acknowledge that they're not exhibiting behaviors that are 136 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: on par with who they are as a human, or 137 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: that they are changing in these really weird, maybe darker 138 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 1: negative ways, that's an issue. So that's I think one 139 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: of the biggest red flags for me is when somebody 140 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: is so severely changing but kind of digressing in their 141 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 1: life and not wanting to address or talk about it right. 142 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: Another thing is selfishness. If somebody is not ever checking 143 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: in with you, how are you? 144 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 2: Are you okay? 145 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: When you tell them something personal like what I just 146 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: told you about my mom and you don't follow up 147 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: with me at all, that's another red flag because you 148 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: can't be in a one way friendship if you're always 149 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: there for someone and always showing up and always making 150 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: sure that they're supported and lifted, but you don't get 151 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: that in return. 152 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: I mean, that's not healthy for you either, because guess what, 153 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 2: there's six other people. 154 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: In your life who will give you that, and that's 155 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: who you want to focus on. 156 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: It's not right. One way friendship is not right. 157 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: I'm sure as you're listening, there's somebody in your life 158 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: you're like, God, I am always always showing up for 159 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: that person, and it's a battery drain, and it's not 160 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: it's not right. That's the only way I can say it. 161 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: And I think it's hard to sometimes look at yourself 162 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: in a mirror and say, wow, I deserve better and 163 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: and that isn't cool because you have such a history 164 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: with someone, but it's not right. So that's another red flag, right, 165 00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: the selfishness, the one way nature of a friendship not 166 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: cool at all. And I think for me, another super 167 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 1: super big point of contention in friendship sometimes or at 168 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: least two that unfortunately are no longer a part of. 169 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 2: My life, is that. 170 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: The gaslighting can be pretty extreme. And when you try 171 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: to have an honest conversation with a friend about something 172 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: and then they turn it around and totally gaslight you 173 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: and make it seem like whatever you just brought up 174 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: is your fault, that's a problem. That's a problem because 175 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: friendship should be open and honest. And if you're going 176 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 1: to go to somebody and say, hey, listen, this is 177 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 1: what's going on, let's talk about it, and they flip 178 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: the script and make it seem like you're the villain. Well, 179 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: that's just not okay either, Right. So, I think that 180 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: all of those feelings combined left me feeling very bad 181 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: about myself. It made me feel sad. It made me 182 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: grieve the loss of a person that I realized was 183 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: no longer there anymore. It's easy for me to think 184 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 1: about the tons and tons of memories we had that 185 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: were so wonder and oh my gosh, because of those, 186 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: Am I really willing to kind of let go of 187 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: this friendship and give this person space and move on 188 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 1: in healthy ways for me? 189 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 2: I don't know should I? 190 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: And the answer is yes, because you can't just base 191 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: who somebody is today on what you and their past 192 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: were was. Like, I know that wasn't eloquent at all, 193 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 1: but you can't kind of erase how you're being treated 194 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: based on good times that you've had together if something 195 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 1: is a constant pattern in your life. Right, I'm not 196 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: somebody that holds grudges. I don't like to be like, oh, 197 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 1: this is so unforgivable, because I think forgiveness is very important. 198 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: But I think forgiveness is important for you, like the 199 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: people who I'm referring to aren't necessarily big parts of 200 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 1: my life anymore. But I honestly don't have any ill 201 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 1: will towards them. I hope they go and find what 202 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 1: they want in life. I hope they're happy. I genuinely do, 203 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: and I think it's important to wish that on everybody. 204 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean I need to have you in 205 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 1: my orbit. If you're causing me stress and not making 206 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 1: me feel good about myself, it's just not It's not 207 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: fair to me. It's not fair to who I want 208 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: to be in the future. It's not fair to any 209 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: of it. So you have to look at those warning 210 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 1: signs because it's just not fair to you going forward. 211 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,599 Speaker 1: And look, people change. People change. Sometimes the friend that 212 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: you had for a few years or decades or two 213 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: decades is not the same person anymore, and that's okay. 214 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: But you can't keep buring your head in the sand 215 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: and acting like everything's okay when it's not. It's sad 216 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: when a friendship is lost, Trust me, it's really really sad. 217 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: But I kind of think it helps to think of 218 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: it as the person is no longer there that you 219 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: were once friends with. Right, It's just as simple as that, 220 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,079 Speaker 1: and if you're not getting what you need out of 221 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: the friendship and you're feeling worse with this person in 222 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 1: your life, what's the point? What's the point? You can't 223 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: hold on to something that once was when it's no 224 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: longer that anymore. So I just hope everybody kind of 225 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: takes into account in their lives when they're going through something, 226 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: or if you're going through something right now, it's okay 227 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:57,679 Speaker 1: to make the difficult decision to step back from a friendship. 228 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: It really is, as hard as it may be. If 229 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: you are struggling with somebody and you realize you're not 230 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: getting what you want in life, it's okay. And guess what, 231 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: it kind of opens you up to making space for 232 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: other people to walk into your life that you never 233 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: could have imagined. 234 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 2: You do, treat you how you deserve to be treated. 235 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: You never know what the universe, what God, what life 236 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: will put in front of you. And I've had people 237 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: come into my life later in life that I never 238 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: could have imagined stepping into my life and I can't 239 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: imagine living without. So when you kind of prioritize yourself 240 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: sometimes and make space for who you want and the 241 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 1: energy you need in your life, some of the most 242 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 1: magical friendships and relationships will come. So all of this 243 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: is to say on this Tommy Talk is losing a 244 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: friendship is hard. It's not an easy decision to make. 245 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: But rather than going through years or five years or 246 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: ten years of this back and forth ping pong game 247 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 1: of allowing somebody who isn't the most healthy for you 248 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 1: in your life, start taking stock of how you feel 249 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: when people treat you a certain way, and if you 250 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: see a pattern, if you're not getting what you need, 251 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,000 Speaker 1: if you haven't been getting what you need, it's okay 252 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: to take a step back. It really really is. And 253 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 1: it doesn't say anything about about who you are. It 254 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 1: just means that you're prioritizing your needs and that's okay. 255 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: So here is to surrounding ourselves with people who lift 256 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: us up, who make us feel good, and who we 257 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: want to continue sharing our lives with. I hope you 258 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 1: enjoyed this Tommy Talk. More to come and keep being 259 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 1: your badass selves. I've never said this before. Is hosted 260 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: by Me Tommy Dedario. This podcast is executive produced by 261 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing 262 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: by Joshua Colaudney. I've never said this before is part 263 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 1: of the Elvis Duran podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts for more, rate, 264 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: review and subscribe to our show and if you liked 265 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 1: this episode, tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy 266 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: de Dario