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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.

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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stump Mom never told you?

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Speaker 1: From house Stop works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Molly. So Molly, I

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Speaker 1: have a new request for any any bows out there

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Speaker 1: who might be wishing to court me. Okay, obviously the

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Speaker 1: forum to air them. Yes, yes, because I have gotten

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Speaker 1: many a date through this podcast. Lie. Um, Now, when

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Speaker 1: you know if he wants to, if he wants to

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Speaker 1: take me out, there's uh, you know, there's one thing

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Speaker 1: that he's going to need to start bringing along on

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Speaker 1: the first date. Chocolate flowers. No, that was a both

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Speaker 1: cliche for the for the woman of two thousand ten.

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Speaker 1: You need the man to bring along a worn, dirty

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Speaker 1: undershirt so you can do his laundry. Yeah, that's very modern.

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Speaker 1: More way, no way, I just want I just want

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Speaker 1: to take a whiff of his dirty laundry, of his

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Speaker 1: dirty laundry, see how it smells, and uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: if I like it, then we can proceed. And if

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Speaker 1: you don't, then that's it. Well maybe it depends on

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Speaker 1: who's gonna pay. Oh again, another statement from the modern woman. Zing, Um,

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Speaker 1: I see where you're going with this, Christian because it

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Speaker 1: relates to the topic we're going to talk about today,

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Speaker 1: believe it or not, which is whether opposites really attract Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there are all these studies that have been done that

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Speaker 1: have basically concluded that women are attracted to men who

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Speaker 1: have vastly different genes than they do, which makes sense

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Speaker 1: because we want to you know, we don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: want a bunch of in breeding going on. Right, And

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Speaker 1: there's the specific type of gene complex called the major

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Speaker 1: histo compatibility complex, which has a lot to do with

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Speaker 1: UM forming our immune systems, and scientists think that women

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Speaker 1: are innately well head of sexual women are innately attracted

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Speaker 1: by smell to men who have UM different mc H genes, right,

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Speaker 1: because these forms such a large proper immune system. The

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Speaker 1: thinking goes that women are sniffing out um different immune

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Speaker 1: systems from their own so that they can sort of

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Speaker 1: load their future child up with the best immune system possible,

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Speaker 1: because the thinking goes that if you give your child

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Speaker 1: exposure to more immune system genes, they can fight off

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Speaker 1: more diseases later on down the line. Yeah, and these

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Speaker 1: studies were done with men who were asked to wear

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Speaker 1: these undershirts for two days and to not shower where deodor,

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Speaker 1: inter cologne or anything like that, so we could really

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Speaker 1: absorb the natural musk get a with and without having

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Speaker 1: seen the men. They would have the women come in

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Speaker 1: and sniff the shirts and then rate the attractiveness of

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Speaker 1: the scent, and they always, like consistently pick the shirt

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Speaker 1: that smells that had belongs the man who has the

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Speaker 1: most different genes. And so it plays a role obviously

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Speaker 1: in sexual attraction, but it can also play a role

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Speaker 1: once you get married. Yeah. There was a study in

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Speaker 1: two thousand seven conducted by Christine gavar Apgar of the

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Speaker 1: University of New Mexico, and she looked at the satisfaction

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Speaker 1: of forty eight heterosexual marriages and she found that the

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Speaker 1: women who had those vastly different MHC genes from their

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Speaker 1: husband or most likely to report sexual satisfaction and fidelity

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Speaker 1: in their relationship. And building on that um, there was

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Speaker 1: a correlation of up to fifty less chance of a

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Speaker 1: woman cheating, wanting to cheat, or actually cheating on her

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Speaker 1: husband if they had that different genetic makeup. Right, and

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Speaker 1: the women who had gotten married to a man who

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Speaker 1: did have similar mhc jeanes to themselves, they were much

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Speaker 1: more likely to have either reported thinking about an affair

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Speaker 1: or having one whoa So if you're looking for the

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Speaker 1: key to a happy, non adulterous marriage, maybe get a

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Speaker 1: gene test done. Yeah, because there's actually a UM in

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Speaker 1: this day and age of online dating. This one company

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Speaker 1: is taking it up UM the next level to combine

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Speaker 1: all those like personality tests you do with online dating

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Speaker 1: with a cheek swab to sample your genetic makeup. Right

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Speaker 1: there was this article by Charlotte Hunt group grub I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure exactly how you say her name in the

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Speaker 1: Sunday Times UM in England and she went through this.

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Speaker 1: She basically got cheek swaps from some guys around her

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Speaker 1: building and she went on a date with one who

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Speaker 1: had an She was told they'd have an eight chance

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Speaker 1: of being just great matches because their genes were so different. Um.

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Speaker 1: And in her write up you kind of get the

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Speaker 1: sense that the guy is a bit of a jerk. Um.

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Speaker 1: He's he's sort of bragging about the fact that the

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Speaker 1: girls like to sleep in his old T shirt. So

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Speaker 1: he he doesn't you know, he must give off a

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Speaker 1: good sort of immune system scent um. But you know,

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Speaker 1: one of the reasons, like we said that you would

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Speaker 1: want someone who's a different genetic match than you is

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Speaker 1: for success in child rearing, Well, this guy had a vasectomy,

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Speaker 1: so it's sort of you know, there are some things

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Speaker 1: that a genetic test cannot tell you. Yeah, because going

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Speaker 1: into this date, she thought it was going to go

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Speaker 1: pretty well, because this matching service said that they had

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Speaker 1: a biological compatibility including a very high symmetry of attraction,

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Speaker 1: high type of interest, and a high probability of a

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Speaker 1: successful pregnancy, which he probably hadn't checked a box saying

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Speaker 1: that he had the sectomy except wanted change those results.

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Speaker 1: But this was developed by a Croatian geneticist named Tamara

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Speaker 1: brown Um who's based in Zurich, and it sounds it

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Speaker 1: sounds like an interesting proposition. You know, you get all

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Speaker 1: the personality test, but then you get this other scientific

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Speaker 1: aspect to it to maybe lockdown the perfect match that

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Speaker 1: everybody is hoping for. But at the same time, this

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Speaker 1: article also talks about how um, it's kind of questionable

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Speaker 1: putting all of this genetic information about yourself out there

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Speaker 1: because it could be used against you down the line too,

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Speaker 1: of course, And I don't know if it's the most

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Speaker 1: romantic thing to give a cheek swab when you're doing

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Speaker 1: a dating service, but she does say that, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you go on that first date and you say, oh,

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Speaker 1: there was a spark or there wasn't a spark, she

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Speaker 1: thinks that spark may be related to that whif of

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Speaker 1: the gene system that you get. So that's why you'd

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Speaker 1: want to go on a date with someone that you're

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Speaker 1: predestined genetically to have this spark with. So that's what

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Speaker 1: they're saying. I mean, she thinks this is the future

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Speaker 1: of online dating is that she wants to build up

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Speaker 1: all these social networks. She's done part ownerships with Facebook. UM,

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Speaker 1: so that if like you're in London, let's say, all

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Speaker 1: the people in London who have given their cheek swab,

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Speaker 1: will um be available for matching, DNA matching, or you

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Speaker 1: could just be like me and request an old undershirt

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Speaker 1: upon first date. I mean, if someone's willing to give

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Speaker 1: a cheek swab, they're probably not unaccustomed to weird requests

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Speaker 1: like that one Kristen, you know, um, but one thing

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Speaker 1: that might throw all of this out of balance birth control. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and you know we have I think several listeners have

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Speaker 1: sent us this article UM when we started doing podcasts

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Speaker 1: about birth control and libido and and all other things

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Speaker 1: about why you want a non hormonal form of birth control.

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Speaker 1: But they've done some studies where women who take the

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Speaker 1: birth control pill lose this ability to sniff out different

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Speaker 1: gene pools than the ones that they have. Yeah. Finally enough,

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Speaker 1: based on a two thousand eight British study UM conducted

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Speaker 1: by Craig Roberts found that interestingly enough, these women who

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Speaker 1: are on the pill, instead of being attracted to the

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Speaker 1: men with the different mhc jenes, were actually more attracted

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Speaker 1: to men with more similar mhc jenes. It's flip flop

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Speaker 1: the whole thing, right, And so you know, the researchers

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Speaker 1: are thinking that these women are making bad matches when

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Speaker 1: they're on the pill, and there's the possibility that once

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Speaker 1: they go off the pill, then all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: that romantic attraction will fade, the love will die because

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Speaker 1: these someone will realize once they get a true whiff

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Speaker 1: of the guy, that they've made a bad decision. Right,

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Speaker 1: And they think that this might be happening because birth

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Speaker 1: control is essentially tricking the woman's body into thinking that

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Speaker 1: it's pregnant, and so she is subconsciously going for more

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Speaker 1: of a relative or caregiver type who will be able

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Speaker 1: to take care of her yet to be born, yet

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Speaker 1: to be conceived, yet to be conceived bambino. Right. So

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Speaker 1: that's it's possibly one one danger of taking out birth control,

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Speaker 1: a breke control pill that tricks your body into thinking

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Speaker 1: it's pregnant. Yeah, but all these things, I do think

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Speaker 1: we have to point out though all these studies are

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Speaker 1: focused solely on women's sniffing out men. Okay, and you

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Speaker 1: know there's nothing about like on the flip side for

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Speaker 1: for men or even for you know, women's sniffing out

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Speaker 1: women's right that arcle we were talking about from the

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Speaker 1: from the Times with Dr Tamara Brown. She eventually wants

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Speaker 1: to come up with the formulation of how to measure

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Speaker 1: this for gay couples. Um But right now, like you said,

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Speaker 1: all the research is on head sexual couples, and so

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Speaker 1: far that the data suggests that men, you know, if

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Speaker 1: they can sniff this out, don't seem to be affected

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Speaker 1: by it. You know that that um stat that Christen

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Speaker 1: was talking about, you know, if you've got fifty percent

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Speaker 1: of the same MHC. Jeans, that that woman is fifty

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Speaker 1: more likely to have had an affair, makes no difference

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Speaker 1: with the men. Yeah, we've got to investigate why they cheat.

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Speaker 1: Whold different, whole different podcasts. But at this point, Molly,

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Speaker 1: since this is solely focused on you know, heterosexual women's

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Speaker 1: sniffing out heterosexual woman, I think it would be a

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Speaker 1: good time to maybe if we really want to answer

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Speaker 1: this general question of whether opposite attract for everybody, you know,

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Speaker 1: I think it'd be a good time to take a

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Speaker 1: more broader view of this issue. Yeah, since all the

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Speaker 1: data on jeans has had our sexual let's just go

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Speaker 1: with like personality traits, because you know, you watch movies

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Speaker 1: and you see, you know, the odd couple like Burton Ernie,

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Speaker 1: like people who are just different making a life together. Right,

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Speaker 1: Molly and H and Paula Abdul even recorded a hit

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Speaker 1: about this very topic, and I think you printed out

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Speaker 1: some of the lyrics. I certainly you have been looking

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Speaker 1: forward to sharing for quite a while. You know, this

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Speaker 1: is one music video that has burned onto my retinas

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Speaker 1: because if you haven't seen the music video, Like, stop

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Speaker 1: listening to this podcast right now and go to YouTube

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Speaker 1: and watch it. Well, I've never seen it. You haven't

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Speaker 1: seen it, all right, I'll describe it for you. It's

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Speaker 1: Paula Abdul dancing with an Annam made a cat. Oh

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Speaker 1: I have seen it? Okay, of course you have everyone

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Speaker 1: seen this. And um, it's all about the romance between

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Speaker 1: her and the cat. And as she says, opposites attract.

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Speaker 1: Now Here are some of the things they don't have

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Speaker 1: that you know that they're different on. Um, one person

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Speaker 1: likes the movies and the other likes TV. Are you

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Speaker 1: like TV? Do you mind? This is the eighties that

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Speaker 1: might have been a big difference back then. Go ahead, Um,

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Speaker 1: one party goes to bed early. One likes the party

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Speaker 1: all night. That could get awkward. Um, she makes the bed,

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Speaker 1: he steals the cover. She and he stands with job

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Speaker 1: like most cats do. Cats are so crazy. The cat

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Speaker 1: also likes to smoke, whereas Paula Abdul does not like cigarettes.

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Speaker 1: That don't like but when they get together they have

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Speaker 1: nothing but fun. I mean, how could you not fun

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Speaker 1: with a cover of stealing smoking cat? I mean that

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Speaker 1: is a question for the ages Kristen a question for

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Speaker 1: the ages, and I don't think that sense has ever

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Speaker 1: been said before. But you know, uh, Paula Abdul, I

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Speaker 1: think you might have been a little off the mark

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Speaker 1: with scat cat. Apparently. Yeah. No, no study can prove

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Speaker 1: the accuracy of Paula abdul lyrics as of yet. Um.

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Speaker 1: The thing is is, even though we tend to want

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Speaker 1: someone who balances out maybeing what we consider our worst traits.

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Speaker 1: Like let's say that I'm really anxious, so I want

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Speaker 1: someone who's really calm all the time, um, or vice versa.

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Speaker 1: If I'm really calm, I don't want someone who can

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Speaker 1: we want, it turns out that is not what we

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Speaker 1: actually end up seeking out in this big old dating world. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: There was a two thousand three study published in the

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Speaker 1: Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in which respond

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Speaker 1: is ranked um and how important certain traits were in

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Speaker 1: to which they thought that they exhibited those specific traits.

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Speaker 1: So the study found that basically with traits that they wanted,

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Speaker 1: they also rated themselves high on for instance, if you

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Speaker 1: wanted financial stability in a partner, you were more likely

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Speaker 1: to have more money. Or if you wanted someone who

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Speaker 1: was real fine, you probably thought that you were a

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Speaker 1: hot to Molly as well. Right, And if you didn't

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Speaker 1: inser yourself very close with your family, then you didn't

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Speaker 1: care if the potential partner was very close with their family. Basically,

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Speaker 1: people were seeking, you know, mirror images of themselves. I

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Speaker 1: think that makes sense. I think that, you know, we

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Speaker 1: seek out people who can justify all the beliefs and

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Speaker 1: things we've put into our lives. And a two thousand

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Speaker 1: nine study of online daters confirmed this as well. Like

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Speaker 1: people went through and like checked off all of these

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Speaker 1: opposite traits that they want, but at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, they ended up dating people who are more

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Speaker 1: similar to themselves. Right, But they're saying that, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: these personality traits, the neuroticism, if you're an extrovert and

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Speaker 1: introvert anxiety, that's more important just than the um outer

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Speaker 1: you know, outer sort of attitude things like oh we

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Speaker 1: both like cars, yeah, or we both like tattoos, like

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Speaker 1: you can. It's more important that your personalities are the

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Speaker 1: same in terms of finding a match, is what these

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Speaker 1: studies are saying than actually, you know, looking alike, you know, yess,

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Speaker 1: they'll be Jack Sprat who could eat no fat and

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Speaker 1: his wife who could eat no lean, as long as

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Speaker 1: you were both sort of the same level of extroverts exactly.

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Speaker 1: So basically, when it comes to whether opposites attract, we

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Speaker 1: want their gene pools to be completely opposite. But for personality,

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Speaker 1: you're probably gonna stick pretty close to what you already

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Speaker 1: have because you got a jive with someone, you know,

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Speaker 1: you've got to build a life, yeah, relationship. But what

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Speaker 1: I'm betting, Kristen is that we've got a ton of

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Speaker 1: listeners who think that they're in sort of opposites attract

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Speaker 1: kind of situation. And if you are, we want to

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Speaker 1: hear from you. How are you different from your partner?

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Speaker 1: How are you the same? Tell us your love stories? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and uh, I feel like seling Dion all the suden

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Speaker 1: And I'm also curious if anyone was specifically attracted to

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Speaker 1: the person they're with because of their scent. I'm just wondering,

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Speaker 1: And if you have any other musings about love and attraction,

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Speaker 1: please send them our way. At mom stuff at how

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Speaker 1: stuffworks dot com. And speaking of which, let's do some

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Speaker 1: list or mails. Okay, christ and this is one that

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Speaker 1: you definitely must read. Okay, oh all right, all right.

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Speaker 1: This comes from Heather and she is The subject line

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Speaker 1: is homeschooling. Now I see why you wanted me to

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Speaker 1: read this, Um, she said. I just want to say

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Speaker 1: that making jokes is one of the best part of

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Speaker 1: being a K through twelve homeschool graduate. I mean, there's

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Speaker 1: so much humor in it. Plus it's a great way

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Speaker 1: to deal with the negative stereotypes that I think everythinking

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Speaker 1: person knows are just stereotypes. It's always fun to do

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Speaker 1: the homeschool high five for others a k a. Hitting

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Speaker 1: your own hands together because there's no one else in

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Speaker 1: your class to high five, or telling people that you

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Speaker 1: are in the top of your class and voted most

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Speaker 1: likely to become president, etcetera. Also, I personally think the

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Speaker 1: word dorc should be really looked into. I would consider

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Speaker 1: myself a proud dork, and I'm always confused why people

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Speaker 1: think this is a problem. So thank you, Heather. Um,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I actually had not heard of the

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Speaker 1: home school high five before, but that didn't mean she

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Speaker 1: didn't try it and demonstrate it. For me, it was

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Speaker 1: pretty awesome. Yeah, so thank you Heather for forum that

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Speaker 1: that joke that I well, that l O L as

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Speaker 1: the kids say, yes, all right. This one is from

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Speaker 1: Leah and she wrote about the episode on how We'll

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Speaker 1: have children in the future, and um, you know in

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Speaker 1: the very title says how will we have children? And

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Speaker 1: she's all like, who is this we Here's what she writes.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to encourage you to our mind listeners about

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Speaker 1: the terribly unequal access women have to quality basic meta

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Speaker 1: weal care in the US and around the world. It

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Speaker 1: stricts me that the kinds of expensive and electric procedures

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Speaker 1: you discussed in the podcast will only be available to

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Speaker 1: a vary select group of wealthy couples and individuals. That means,

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Speaker 1: among other things, that poor families have children the old

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Speaker 1: fashioned way will be the ones who bear the financial

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Speaker 1: and emotional costs of genetic illnesses, while wealthy families won't

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Speaker 1: experience these burdens they can sort of buy their way out.

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Speaker 1: This could potentially have unfortunate social consequences, resulting and ever

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Speaker 1: more stratification between haves and have nots. On the other hand,

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Speaker 1: families or individuals who can afford the genetic manipulation or

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Speaker 1: testing you discuss will continue to have greater levels of

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Speaker 1: genetic variation, resulting in overall healthier offspring. So there we go.

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Speaker 1: That's from Leah Well. Folks. Thank you for all of

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Speaker 1: your emails, Keep them coming, Moms stuff at how stuffworks

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Speaker 1: dot com and during the week, if you'd like to

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Speaker 1: head over to our blog, it's called how to Stuff

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Speaker 1: and we tell you how to do stuff. And if

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Speaker 1: you want to read the forthcoming stellar article by our

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Speaker 1: very own Molly Edmonds called do Opposites Really Attract you

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Speaker 1: should definitely head on over to how stuff works dot

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Speaker 1: com for more on this and thousands of other topics.

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Speaker 1: Is it how stuff works dot com. Want more how

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Speaker 1: stuff works, check out our blogs on the house. Stuff

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Speaker 1: works dot com home page. Brought to you by the

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Speaker 1: reinvented two thousand twelve camera. It's ready, are you