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Speaker 1: My step son is hospitalized and my family doesn't care.

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Speaker 1: Should I go no contact? Sam?

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Speaker 2: Should it be go no contact?

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Speaker 3: I mean, if they don't care about your son, then maybe.

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Speaker 2: You know I was. I had my hair appointment. That's

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Speaker 2: a red flag. I had my hair appointment and it

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Speaker 2: was important. Okay, do you actually have a hair appointment? Uh?

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Speaker 2: In this hypothetical world, I do? Do you have hair appointments?

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Speaker 1: And no, no, I don't. I went like a year

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Speaker 1: without cutting my hair, but now it ends. Now in

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Speaker 1: this hypothetical world, I'm getting taken care of my wit

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Speaker 1: ends and I can't be bothered about your step son.

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Speaker 1: Are you going no contact with me?

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Speaker 3: That's how good the hair looks, because I might forgive

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Speaker 3: you if it looks freaking amazing.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know there's only one way to find out.

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Speaker 2: Spill that d So.

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Speaker 1: This actually comes from our slash Okop show. If you

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Speaker 1: want to submit your own story and have it read

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Speaker 1: like this, go to our slash Okop show.

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Speaker 3: Or call four four zero five zero eight six five

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Speaker 3: six seven. But John tell me that juicy story.

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Speaker 1: So Buffalo cheddar Biscuit says the post was too long

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Speaker 1: for most am Ida whole pages. So I figured here

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Speaker 1: would be a good spot for some judgment, and you.

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Speaker 2: Figured I'll give you that judgment. Oh yes.

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Speaker 1: This week has been a whirlwind of insanity, all of

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Speaker 1: which I wish was made up for a while. My

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Speaker 1: steps on twenty three mail has had some serious symptoms

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Speaker 1: that he finally got checked out, with results shared to

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Speaker 1: him earlier this week. Our family, me my husband, stepson's

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Speaker 1: biological mom, and the bio mom's partner, and my stepdaughter

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Speaker 1: rushed three states away, driving through the night to meet

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Speaker 1: at one of the country's top neurocare hospital.

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Speaker 3: Which is what you should do if that ever happens, right,

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Speaker 3: So that is what like a good family does.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely nothing but green flags, which I think we need

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Speaker 1: some flights.

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Speaker 2: Read. Oh we do, we do.

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Speaker 1: We gotta bring those up, we bring those up. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, honestly, it seems like a green flag that

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Speaker 1: it does. These are green if it's not showing through.

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Speaker 1: Our family rushed three states away, driving through the night

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Speaker 1: to me at one of the country's top neurocare hospitals,

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Speaker 1: where my step son was admitted and surgery was performed

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Speaker 1: the very next day. Turns out he had hydrophallis caused

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Speaker 1: by a brain tumor that we now know is cancer.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, they removed almost two leaders of spinal fluid

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Speaker 1: build up, and doctors confirmed that had he waited longer,

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Speaker 1: he might have passed away.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: My family was scared out of our minds. No one

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Speaker 1: could sleep, pretty much walking the corridors like zombies. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can imagine a little more background. I have gone

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Speaker 1: no contact with a large portion of the family. I

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Speaker 1: grew up with my full blood sisters, my mom, etc.

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Speaker 1: I am low contact with my brother, but reached out

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Speaker 1: to let him know what's been going on before we

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Speaker 1: headed to the hospital, and also to give him updates

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Speaker 1: during the trip. I also reached out to one of

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Speaker 1: my sisters. She had asked me to send her a

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Speaker 1: recipe for a gift for my niece, and I messaged

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Speaker 1: saying that I couldn't participate something had come up. She

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Speaker 1: tried to push me to still send the recipe.

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Speaker 2: Bro Well, she doesn't know yet.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't know yet, which is when I said I

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Speaker 1: had a family emergency and wasn't sure when I'd be

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Speaker 1: back in town, to which she never replied.

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Speaker 2: Totally fair to not reply to.

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Speaker 1: Totally fair that you know OPI's doing the most by

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Speaker 1: even responding, here, it's a crazy situation. Who cares about

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Speaker 1: your freaking recipe. About midway through the trip, I broke

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Speaker 1: down and I called my mom, who she was no

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Speaker 1: contact and we don't know why yet, we don't know why.

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Speaker 1: While I was trying to give updates, she insisted I

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Speaker 1: visit the famous Mormon temple in that city and walk

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Speaker 1: the grounds. And I called the temple to get my

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Speaker 1: steps on on their prayer slash blessings list.

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Speaker 2: So so I imagine Opie is Mormon.

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Speaker 1: We're inferring that they that they are Mormon, could very

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Speaker 1: well could be. I shot the suggestions down very quickly,

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Speaker 1: and while my mother was arguing that I need to

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Speaker 1: do it for my own solace, I told her that

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Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna bother tracking down information while I can

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Speaker 1: barely function, only for the Mormons to use it to

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Speaker 1: show up either at our house or at the hospital,

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Speaker 1: and that we are not Mormon.

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Speaker 2: Oh so Obi is not? Mom? Obi is not, but

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Speaker 2: maybe the mom is. Yeah, if she's not, that'd be

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Speaker 2: the weirdest.

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Speaker 3: I should check out the Mormon I mean, the Mormon

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Speaker 3: temples are pretty sick, that's true.

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Speaker 2: They do a good job. They do a good job.

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Speaker 1: She tried to argue, which is when I told her

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Speaker 1: to shut up and let me give you the updates

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Speaker 1: on my steps on his condition, I gave the bare bones,

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Speaker 1: at which point my mom started telling me I needed

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Speaker 1: to dissolve my four to oh one K to start

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Speaker 1: paying for things.

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Speaker 2: What the fuck? And that is what I was there for.

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Speaker 1: I think she was worried I was going to start

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Speaker 1: asking for money, which is strange as I have always

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Speaker 1: done everything I can to be as independent from her

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Speaker 1: as possible. She likes to use money as a manipulation tactic.

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Speaker 1: I jumped off the call as my mom was making

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Speaker 1: a big deal about checking the mail for her Christmas car,

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Speaker 1: and I had to stop and explain it is a

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Speaker 1: terrible time to be making a fuss about that, as

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Speaker 1: we will resume normal life once we return home, but

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Speaker 1: can't do anything about it right now. She's worried about

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Speaker 1: the Christmas card while.

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Speaker 3: HERR step son is dying. Like what priorities? Priorities serious?

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Speaker 2: Like you would?

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Speaker 3: God, it seem so obvious, like how do you how

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Speaker 3: do you have your priorities so out of whack?

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Speaker 1: I mean, just it's just unfathomable, how out of order

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Speaker 1: they are. Then I touched base with my brother. I

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Speaker 1: told my brother I had broken down and called my mom,

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Speaker 1: and he mentioned that he was glad. She answered, and

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Speaker 1: he had mentioned to my mother it's time to put

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Speaker 1: the petty bs aside, and what I am going through

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Speaker 1: is any parent's worst nightmare. I thought it was a

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Speaker 1: bit strange, but pretty much on par for my mother.

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Speaker 1: Surgery went well, the brain drain worked, and we were

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Speaker 1: then just waiting a few days for our steps on

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Speaker 1: to be released. Oh wow, yeah, big weight off their shoulders.

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Speaker 2: I imagine.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I said our goodbyes to head back home.

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Speaker 1: It was then the sister I messaged days earlier, finally

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Speaker 1: reached out, saying she heard the news from our mom

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Speaker 1: about my husband's son and wanted to let me know

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Speaker 1: that she was praying. I said, thank you, but my

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Speaker 1: blood started to boil. There's been a lot of bad

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Speaker 1: blood between my sister and I. She has done several

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Speaker 1: tactics intending to cause me extra hurt. After my sisters

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Speaker 1: had been the one to choose no contact. So this

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Speaker 1: was them going no contact with OP, not the other

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Speaker 1: way around, which is.

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Speaker 3: They you know, why. I imagine maybe Ope left the

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Speaker 3: Mormon church.

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Speaker 2: There we go. That is sense.

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Speaker 1: I would put on the tinfoil hat, but that seems

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Speaker 1: very likely, very likely. There's been a lot of bad

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Speaker 1: blood between my sister and I, as she has done

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Speaker 1: several tactics intending to cause me extra hurt. After my

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Speaker 1: sisters had been the one to choose no contact, told

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Speaker 1: me that we already had one dead sister, they were

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Speaker 1: fine with another. Wo what, Oh my god? And they

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Speaker 1: got mad when I held them to the no contact

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Speaker 1: and tried to punish me.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: I mean, there's not many ways to come back from

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Speaker 3: saying something like that.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So I asked my sister if she even knew my

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Speaker 1: stepson's name. I told her that this wasn't just my

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Speaker 1: husband's son, that this was my stepson, her nephew, and

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Speaker 1: our mother's grandson. She started to get huffy and defensive

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Speaker 1: and said that she wanted me to know that she

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Speaker 1: was praying and that we can stop the conversation right there.

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Speaker 2: That's okay too.

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Speaker 3: Like, how can you be praying and then at the

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Speaker 3: same time say the worst thing possible.

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Speaker 2: It makes no sense, divorce your family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, please red flag to which I promptly asked to

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Speaker 1: end the conversation as a relationship was too broken. She

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Speaker 1: responded that she was reaching out to let me know

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Speaker 1: that she was praying insincerity and she wasn't trying to

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Speaker 1: mend our relationship. I snapped and told her prayers are

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Speaker 1: meant for the Lord's ears, not mineoo Hey, men's sister,

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Speaker 1: bless your heart. Tell it to the choir, and told

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Speaker 1: her not to contact me on personal matters again. The

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Speaker 1: following day, I was messaging with my mother on a

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Speaker 1: few updates, at which point my mom told me she

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Speaker 1: knows how I feel, as she always worries when my

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Speaker 1: stepdad goes in for surgery, and that we need to

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Speaker 1: check the mail for her Christmas card.

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Speaker 3: This is not the time to ask for these favors.

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Speaker 3: I lost it again.

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Speaker 1: I told my mom that the only comparison is had

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Speaker 1: her daughter, who died in a scene at a car

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Speaker 1: wreck made it to the hospital and her life hung

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Speaker 1: in the balance, and that my stepdad's surgeries didn't compare

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Speaker 1: as they are mainly elected orthopedic surgeries knee replacements until

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Speaker 1: he got tired of them and then opted for amputation.

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Speaker 1: It's all apples and oranges, and that reaching out to

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Speaker 1: her was a mistake that I won't make again, so

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Speaker 1: really quick. It basically seems like the step mom, or

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Speaker 1: the mom rather was like hey, like check my Christmas

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Speaker 1: card and also saying like, oh, well, you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: we were in touch when you know your stepfather had

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Speaker 1: these surgeries and whatnot. And Op's like that isn't comparable,

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Speaker 1: Like this was like a knee surgery and then later

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Speaker 1: an amputation, not life threatening exactly.

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Speaker 3: Life don't know whether the stepson is going to be

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Speaker 3: okay or.

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Speaker 1: Not exactly, And this is, you know, I'm no medical expert,

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Speaker 1: a lot more pre planned than this, which was the.

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Speaker 2: Just murgency of all emergencies.

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Speaker 1: I know that a lot of my frustrations are from

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Speaker 1: the helplessness of the situation, but my side has rarely,

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Speaker 1: if ever been there for me in ways that are real.

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Speaker 1: This is the closest thing my mother has to real empathy.

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Speaker 1: But my sister knew from the very beginning all of this,

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Speaker 1: and I had a family emergency even before my brother knew,

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Speaker 1: but couldn't be bothered to ask and reached out to

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Speaker 1: let me know she was praying because she wanted me

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Speaker 1: to know, but couldn't even tell me my own step

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Speaker 1: son's name. My mother seemed more concerned with the Christmas card.

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Speaker 1: She spends twenty five dollars on a Starbucks card most years,

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Speaker 1: which is what she wants me to have. But I mean,

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Speaker 1: come the hell on context of what's going on in

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Speaker 1: my life, caring more about that than her grandson. I've

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Speaker 1: tried to keep this mainly about myself, as my step

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Speaker 1: son is entitled to his privacy from strangers and he

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Speaker 1: is currently doing better, but not out of the woods entirely.

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Speaker 2: So please tell me, am I hate the ael.

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Speaker 3: I mean laughing say it together. No, I feel like

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Speaker 3: we always swap.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, one three, ready one two three, No, there

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Speaker 1: you go.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean this.

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Speaker 1: Is one of the most clear cut things of not

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Speaker 1: the a hole.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like, these the things that your mom

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Speaker 3: has asked you to do are not big things, right, Like,

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Speaker 3: they're not big things, and under any other circumstances, probably

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Speaker 3: totally fine to ask check the mail.

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Speaker 2: And also but also don't be mad about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but like totally but but if your step son

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Speaker 3: is their life is in danger, I'm not gonna be

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Speaker 3: freaking checking the mail.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna do it.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna be tending to my step son. So read

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Speaker 3: the room, read the contacts. Mom OPI, you are not

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Speaker 3: the A hole. I am curious because this is a

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Speaker 3: member of the Okay fam. Yes, the a a an

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Speaker 3: Okay biscuit. Some might say a tea biscuit. People didn't

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Speaker 3: want to be called tea bags, so I think tea biscuits.

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Speaker 3: It's off off the table, our own little tea biscuit.

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Speaker 3: Where are you, ex Mormon? I would love to know

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Speaker 3: if that that's true. That's like something that John and

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Speaker 3: I are kind of thinking. But let us know in

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Speaker 3: the comments if you're watching.

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Speaker 1: This true and and praying everything is going better, that

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Speaker 1: you get solace from your insane family, and and just

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Speaker 1: supporting you in the decision of like, you.

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Speaker 2: Don't need to talk to these family members. They are

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Speaker 2: not here to.

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Speaker 3: Start exactly, and like your family, like what your family

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Speaker 3: should do is love you. Because what your family should

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Speaker 3: do is love you. But if you love us, make

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Speaker 3: sure just subscribe We love you and see you tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: This is an episode from Deep Within the Archives. Time

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Speaker 2: for okop.

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Speaker 1: Reelam am I the a hole for refusing to let

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Speaker 1: my husband's infertile friend name our son.

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Speaker 3: If she infertile, then she don't deserve a turtle.

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Speaker 2: That's right. If you can't, if you can't squirtle, then

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Speaker 2: you're infertile. Then you're a hurdle.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, So my husband, male thirty three's best friend,

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Speaker 1: male thirty seven, will is infertile.

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Speaker 3: How's that common knowledge?

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Speaker 1: It's funny, yeah, bus when people just walk around like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know old Willie, his his will don't

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Speaker 1: work because Willy ain't.

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Speaker 2: It's so hot, ain't it.

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Speaker 1: He got divorced two times because of it, because he

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Speaker 1: lied and hid his infertilla two times.

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Speaker 3: Way, so he's like thirty seven now, yeah, thirty seven

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Speaker 3: and lying about his Willy.

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Speaker 2: Like that's that's way too much.

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Speaker 1: Like come on, I get it sucks, but you can't

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Speaker 1: lie about it to your partner.

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Speaker 2: Of all people. Yeah, you want to be long term?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And his life was not the same the day

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Speaker 1: he was told he couldn't have kids. He'd always had

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Speaker 1: a soft spot for children, and when he found out

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Speaker 1: that my husband and I are expecting, he was so thrilled.

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Speaker 1: He started buying his gifts and making decore pieces from

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Speaker 1: his woodwork for the baby.

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Speaker 3: That's super cute, which is taking woodworking decore pieces like man?

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Speaker 2: I do like that? Yeah, man, Man, Man's Karen, he's caring. Allegedly,

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Speaker 2: we'll see.

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Speaker 1: My husband thinks that those are real nice gestures. But

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Speaker 1: I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, especially with how.

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Speaker 2: Much he keeps mentioning the baby.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if there's any reason to feel on

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Speaker 3: right trying.

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Speaker 1: To garner some sort of rumpel Stiltsk situation my would

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Speaker 1: work for your child. No, that was a good reference.

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Speaker 1: A few days ago, my husband and I found out

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Speaker 1: the gender of the baby. The minute we told Will,

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Speaker 1: he started calling the baby a random name he had picked,

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Speaker 1: the one that he would give to his baby if

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Speaker 1: he wasn't infertile.

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Speaker 2: A little weird. That's strange, weird Will.

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Speaker 1: He then started begging us to use this name, and

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Speaker 1: my husband said, hey, buddy, it's a done deal.

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Speaker 2: What yes? What I mean? What's the name? Though? Like?

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Speaker 2: What is it?

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Speaker 1: Is it.

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Speaker 2: Classic?

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Speaker 1: I refuse, but my husband called me heartless and asked

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Speaker 1: me to do this one small eatsy weeds, tiny nice gesture.

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Speaker 2: That's a whole less name. That's like a huge decision.

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Speaker 2: That's a big gesture.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for his friends struggling to give him closure and

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Speaker 1: honor him after all the things he's done for us.

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Speaker 2: He has done a lot. Here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: Imagine though the kids like, you know, mommy, where did

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Speaker 1: I get my name from? It's like, well, you see,

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Speaker 1: uncle Will, his penis doesn't work. So because his penis

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Speaker 1: doesn't work, we were like, hey, let's name.

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Speaker 2: Him the name. Name you the name he wants? What

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Speaker 2: is that name? Though?

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Speaker 1: That's true, they need to tell what other. I flipped

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Speaker 1: out and said, it's my baby, not his. True Will

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Speaker 1: heard this and he left immediately. My husband yelled at me,

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Speaker 1: saying it's his baby too, and my behavior towards Will

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Speaker 1: was abhorrent. He left after him and didn't come back

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Speaker 1: until the morning. He kept saying the same thing and

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Speaker 1: pressuring me to agree on the name.

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Speaker 2: But I refuse. Am I the ahole for choosing this

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Speaker 2: hill to die on? I mean no? But what if?

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Speaker 3: I mean it's like if the husband likes the name,

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Speaker 3: that's one thing, like, you know, just very strange name.

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Speaker 3: Like you're choosing a name should be a joint decision.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, of of the parents, Like.

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Speaker 3: Maybe like like friends can have input and give suggestions,

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Speaker 3: but it's ultimately the parents that get or.

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Speaker 1: Like, let's say there was someone who was like really

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Speaker 1: like was like this guy was like a brother to

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Speaker 1: Opate and then he like passed away.

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Speaker 2: Like maybe that's more. That's a lot more of his

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Speaker 2: dation work. His Willy just eight. Willian so not the ahole.