WEBVTT - Bowen Yang on why he ditched a medical career for comedy 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:06.120 What do you do when life doesn't go according to 0:00:06.200 --> 0:00:09.760 plan that moment you lose a job, or a loved one, 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.080 or even a piece of yourself. I'm Brookshields and this 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:18.759 is now What, a podcast about pivotal moments as told 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:19.480 by people. 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:20.400 Who lived them. 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:22.680 Each week, I sit down with a guest to talk 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.440 about the times they were knocked off course and what 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:30.440 they did to move forward. Some stories are funny, others 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:36.720 are gut wrenching, but all are unapologetically human and remind 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:40.720 us that every success and every setback is accompanied by 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:44.080 a choice, and that choice answers one question. 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:45.800 Now, what. 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:53.000 Will Ferrell now technically is one of my employers, and 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.320 he's a lovely friend, and like that's bizarre. It's like 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:58.920 it's weird to be among them now and to have 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:00.000 relationships with them. 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.760 So I've spent much time with him. 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:06.880 Yes, because Chris, my husband, was one of the three 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:10.240 people that ran ran the company and started Funnier Die. 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:10.920 Wow. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:14.759 They just came, he and his wife and sons came 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:17.840 to my daughter's basketball game, you know, and I thought, Okay, 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:20.360 I hope everybody's cool. When Will walks into the state, 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.080 you know, to the watch the game, and so. 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:24.880 Everybody was like fine. 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:28.160 Then we started listening to the girls and the girls 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:30.280 were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know that's Will Ferrell, 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:35.080 but oh my god, his son is hot career. My 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.400 younger one was like, mom, all your all your friends' 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:41.880 kids have grown up to be like super hot and 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.440 they were. You know, there went from these skinny little 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:52.120 boys that were annoying to these like honky guys. Hello listeners, 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:55.960 did you miss me? I'm excited to announce that now 0:01:56.000 --> 0:02:00.320 what is back? After an eventful September break, spent the 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:04.840 month performing my one woman show, previously owned by Burke Shields. 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.000 It's been a whirlwind, but I am very grateful to 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:11.679 have worked on something deeply meaningful, and I've loved being 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:15.200 back on stage making people laugh and hopefully giving them 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:18.880 a little bit of entertainment. Speaking of making people laugh, 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:21.600 my guest today is very funny. 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.840 Bowen Yang is a comedian. 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:27.239 A writer, an actor, and the co host of the 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:33.400 critically acclaimed podcast Last Culturistess. He has a fascinating story 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:35.600 filled with the most unexpected pivots. 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:36.640 Case in point. 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:40.440 He worked as a graphic designer until twenty eighteen, when, 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:44.080 after years of writing and performing comedy on the side. 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.760 He got a job at Saturday Night Live. Bowen is 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:50.760 one of the most thoughtful people I've interviewed, and I 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:54.960 was blown away by his patients and his generosity. So 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.120 without further ado, here's Bowen Yang. 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:03.720 Bohen Yang. So nice to know you. 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:07.360 I'm doing the thing right now that I that I 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:10.600 always think I'm not going to do. But I feel 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:12.720 like I know you because I watch you and you 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:16.280 I laugh with you, and you're in my home and 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:20.280 so I'm like, oh, hi, but we don't know each other. 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:22.880 So nice to meet you. 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:25.200 Nice to meet you. What if we're like both coming 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:27.560 from that same place? Though, Like, isn't do we skip 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:29.880 a couple of steps? I feel like we're allowed to. 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.840 I think, you do? I think? And where you live 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:34.760 in New York? Correct? 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:36.800 I do? I do? Where are you right now? 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:37.800 I'm in New York. 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:43.040 I'm born and bred raised in Manhattan Night, so I'm 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:46.000 a native New York Right, And where were you raised? 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:50.520 I was raised in mostly an Aurora, Colorado. But before that, 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:54.000 so between Australia and Colorado, I was in Brisbane for 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:57.040 six months, so I barely so I don't remember a 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.520 single thing. But then we moved to Canada. Oh wow, 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:02.080 we did a lot of moving between, Like we moved 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:04.680 a lot within Canada, and then when we moved from 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:07.400 Montreal to Colorado, that was like a huge shift. 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:07.880 God. 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.760 I remember taking French in school and then I had 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:14.480 to like really to like really understand, like, oh okay, 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:17.320 I get, like English is the language you're gonna be speaking. Now. 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:19.120 What were you like as a little kid. 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.479 I mean, don't we all like as adults, like look 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:24.840 back on ourselves as kids and go like, I was 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:27.760 pretty precocious. But no, it's like we were just we 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:31.120 were we were we were kids when we were kids. 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.159 Does that make sense. I feel like I had to 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.680 toorialize my childhood in a way sometimes when I talk 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:38.840 about it, and I need to be honest with you 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:42.640 Brookshields about how like I was like just a pretty 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:47.880 normal kid and hammy. But that was like the way 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:52.920 the way into like the new schools in these new 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:56.560 social environments was just to be like silly and goofy, 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:58.800 and as soon as you ran out of your own material, 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:00.839 you would like go home and wat TV shows and 0:05:00.880 --> 0:05:05.360 like I would watch SNL and Seinfeld and like the 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:08.800 Simpsons and Friends, and Matt TV and like and you 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:11.520 know Drew Carey Show, and like I just like consumed 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.840 all of that to like regurgitate it the next day 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:17.320 at school. And that was like the cycle for me. 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:21.120 That was my favorite thing to do is just be 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:24.880 alone in my room and the complete dark watching SNL. 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:28.800 Oh and it's interesting that you mentioned SNL because I 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:32.400 was fascinated to learn that you were actually pre med 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:33.560 in college. 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:37.120 I was, yeah, this is and this is like I 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:42.080 still like always think about this sort of time and 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:44.400 like this is this is my like now what like 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:47.320 this is the thing that like defines like so much 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:49.240 about like the way my life is gone is like 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:51.800 it could have gone like the sliding doors of it 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:56.120 could have really gone another way. And yeah, it's it 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.320 was it was I was pre med and then uh, 0:05:58.640 --> 0:06:02.880 comedy was just this like hobby I was doing in college. 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:06.680 But I would always hang out with like the comedy kids, 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:08.240 like the people who were in the sketch groups, the 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.200 people who were in the improv groups, and like we 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:13.760 would go to each other shows, like throw each other parties. 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.600 Like it was like that was like my reality, Like 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:19.880 that was what I was going into. That was what 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:23.160 I was surrounded by every day. And then I don't 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:26.279 know if like that's what like seeped in or if 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:29.520 that's like something that I just like naturally gravitated towards. 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:33.880 Was there fear surrounding sort of pursuing acting professionally? 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:37.080 Oh yeah, and like fe fear in the ways of 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:40.919 like I'm not being educated or trained in this, and 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:43.560 then fear and then and then just the baseline fear 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:46.359 that comes with like working in this business anyway, but 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:47.920 like applies to everybody. 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:51.320 Did your parents support support it? This is a big 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:53.120 shift for their son totally? 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:55.960 Well, they they kind of they sort of saw it coming. 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.400 They like they would ask about how school was going, 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:01.520 and all I would talk about was, you know, doing 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:04.000 comedy festivals or something. And then they were like, okay, 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:08.000 but we mean, like you know, like classes and you know, 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:10.600 you're extracurriculars and like med school and like all this stuff. 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:12.160 And I would just be like, oh, right, did they 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:13.560 want you to go to pre med? I mean, did 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:14.640 they want you to be a doctor? 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:18.400 If you ask them now, they would say no, they 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:21.520 did not care either way. But of course, like they 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:24.000 say that because it all worked out. But I think, right, 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:26.160 But I think. I mean, at the time, there was 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.960 there was some pressure I do I do need to 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:31.320 give them more credit. Now I find it sort of 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:34.200 convenient in my own mind to be like, oh, well, 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.200 they were hard on me and they like pressured me 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.360 to like go into this. But I mean, at the 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.720 end of the day, they were like any other parent 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:42.000 where they were just like, we just want you to 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.440 be happy. And so when I told them, and there 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:45.760 was a there was a moment where I was taking 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:49.600 my mcat the second time at one one pen Plaza, 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.840 like right next to MSG. It was during the written 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:55.480 section that I got to, like the written section of 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.360 the test. And then I remembered this interview that Steve 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:02.720 Carell had done out filling out his law school applications 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:05.600 because like comedy wasn't really working out for him in Chicago, 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:07.240 and he was like applying to law school and then 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.120 he got to the written section of his law school 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:12.720 application and said, I can't do this, like the comedy 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:15.360 is the only thing I can do, and then he 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:17.720 just didn't he just didn't finish the application. And then 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:21.480 I flashed back so clearly to that interview, to reading 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.560 that like a year or two ago, that I was like, 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.920 I can't do this, and then I nullified. I avoided 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:31.080 my exam. I told the proctor I was like I 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:34.240 need to leave, like I don't think I can finish this. 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:36.160 And they were like, oh, so you got up in 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:39.439 the middle and just yeah, put your pencil down and 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:44.520 just said what a revelation in that moment and how 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.680 you had the guts to actually get up and walk out. 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.640 But I was in this like weird day's fugue and 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:52.840 then like I remember just like walking down to the street, 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:54.920 like getting out of the building and calling my parents 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:57.959 and being like mom, Dad, like I just did this 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:00.360 thing and I think it's I think I I think 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:02.120 I have to do it. And they were like, and 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:03.640 this is the moment where I think I need to 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:06.559 give them some credit work because they were just like, Okay, 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:10.360 well if you feel that it's what you have to do, 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:11.280 then we believe you. 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:14.719 Did you panic after oh yeah, I think I think 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:15.120 I was. 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:17.400 Oh gosh, I'm so bad at these things and I 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:19.080 need to talk to my therapist about this more. But 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.000 like I can't quite identify like what. 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:22.120 That's okay, I'm here. 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:24.920 How much should I Billy? You? Are you in network. 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.120 No, you know, first one's on the house. 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:30.079 Oh great, great, great, thank goodness. I but yeah, I 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:34.679 think it was like some sort of anxiety moment, an 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:38.640 episode of something where I was just like rocketing out 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.240 of this situation that I'd been in for four years 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:42.960 where it's like I'm going to be I'm on this path, 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:44.760 I'm on the rails to like be this doctor. And 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.760 then it just and this critical moment, I was just 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:50.119 like no, like it cannot continue. 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:54.760 So you decide you're going to you make that huge pivot, 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:59.839 which is truly an amazing not what moment? What did 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:05.200 you do to break in so to speak to the business. 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:08.280 Yeah, I mean I well, first of all, my parents 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:10.200 were like, we're gonna help you with like your rent 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:11.840 for another like a few months. 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:14.440 And then after that, you were they living in Colorado? Still? 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.040 Yes, yes, and they still are. They're they're they're they're 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:19.360 having a great time. There, lots of nature for them 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:23.480 to enjoy. They were like, you sort of have to 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:25.800 figure it out in New York and then if you 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.400 can't really hack it in a year, then you should 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:31.200 move back home with us. And so there were stakes 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:35.000 involved immediately, obviously, not that there weren't already, but at 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.760 that point I had been pretty aimless. I was taking 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:42.120 classes at this theater in the city, the Upper Citizens Brigade. 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:45.599 I love UCP, Yeah, uc B, Yeah, it was I 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:49.400 just I've done some of their their nighttime shows. 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.960 That's right. The yeah, I remember you did monologues for 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:55.120 like the Harold or the ass Cat or like yeah 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:59.440 those shows. Yeah, and so yeah, like it was, it 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:00.720 was I was trying. I was like I was like 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:04.320 finding people within that little coterie of like people who 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:05.880 were taking classes at the same time as me, and 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:09.319 then we started little sketch groups andprop groups and then 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.080 and then we were just fortunate enough that like you know, 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:15.280 management sort of like took notice and they would come 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:19.439 to shows, they would sign people, and people would get 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:21.959 plucked up and you know, raptured into like the sky. 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.720 And then like I I was like pounding the papent 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:27.200 for like a few years like they were. It was 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:30.880 about like five ish years of just like doing shows, 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:34.000 not knowing if anybody would come, not knowing if anybody cared, 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.880 booking people, just trying to make it work. But then 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:38.800 the thing that you don't realize is you developed that 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:42.000 is you develop reps. You like put in the hard yards. 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:45.200 You like you've bombed enough times that you're not scared 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:48.360 of bombing anymore. You have met people that you don't 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:50.280 realize you're gonna work with for the rest of your life. 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.840 And I mean it's all these really nice things that 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:56.160 build up with time and with like experience. 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:07.000 Well, you've talked about your parents and the more positive 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:11.679 relationship that that you had with them and the support 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:13.760 that they gave you over the years for your career, 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.600 but then you've also been very open about a more 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:19.120 fraught time in your relationship with them, which is when 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:19.800 you came out. 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:21.440 Can you talk a little bit about that. 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:25.440 Yeah, I mean I came out not quite on my 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:29.199 own terms. Mom came home one day, used the family computer, 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:33.840 remember those like you used the family computer computer? Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:38.160 And then like you know, saw some like proof or whatever, 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:39.520 and like there was no there was no there was 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:44.800 it was irrefutable evidence, and so you know, my parents 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:49.120 were these are these two very scientific people. And then 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:51.959 I think I think in some ways, like scientific people 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.280 end up being a little bit more dogmatic sometimes, right, 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:57.960 and they feel like there are solutions to problems or 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.400 that there are like axioms that have to be like 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:02.720 addressed in a certain way. And they I think they 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:06.360 saw my sexuality, my queerness is something that had to 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:10.640 be like addressed rather than you know, understood or celebrated. 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:12.400 I think they I think they saw it as like 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:16.800 this anomalous thing. And I don't fully I don't fully 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.560 blame them. I think they were I mean, what they 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:21.800 were telling me was they were like, we never we 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:25.199 did not grow up around any people like this when 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.520 we were kids. And I kept saying, even as a teenager, 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:29.920 I was I knew. I was like, no, you did. 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:32.640 You just didn't ever hear about them because you were 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:36.800 living in this like culture that like never incentivized or 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.760 motivated people to do this or to be public about this, right, 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:43.840 And so they it was just a lot of I'd 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:46.920 seen the pain I had caused, and then at a certain 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.079 point I convinced myself, like I have to do something 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:51.360 to like solve this, like I'd seen my dad cry 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:52.720 once before. 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:55.480 And then but what you said, the pain you caused 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:58.560 just by being you, Well, yeah, that's the way you 0:13:58.640 --> 0:13:59.480 interpreted it. 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:01.560 That's the way at the time. At the time, it 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:03.720 felt like it was my fault that my dad was 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:07.640 crying every single day, and so my parents, my dad 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:10.240 would drive me down to Colorado Springs, a home of 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.480 like the megachurches and you know, focus on the family 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:15.640 and all this stuff, where there's there's just like a 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:20.000 pretty interesting community of like conversion therapists there. I mean 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.560 there aren't there anymore. It's been it's been made illegal 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:26.120 now thankfully, but at the time very much this like 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:33.040 weirdly legitimized school of thought within like psychology or whatever 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:37.840 of like clinical psychology, and went to go see this doctor. 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:42.040 Basically it was eight weeks of this. It was getting 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:45.920 pathologized on like my desire, which like you know, I've 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.520 like since then spend a lot of time like sort 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.560 of healing from. And but I will say, like the 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:56.560 the now, what of that really has Like it's put 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:58.200 me in a position now where I like I never 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:01.440 second guess, I never questioned anything about myself. Now it's 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:06.280 like if like, especially when it comes to like my 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.480 my queerness, I'm just like no, Like this is like 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:11.080 it's been I've I've been at war with myself, you know, 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:13.000 and like I want. 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.960 Do you remember the tipping point when you when you 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.880 decided to tell your parents this is who I am 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:21.280 and I won't. 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:25.680 Change it was it was end of college because basically 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:29.080 this this all happened senior year of high school and 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.200 they gave me this ultimate and they were like, you're 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:35.000 gonna go and then you're gonna go to New York 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:38.120 where your sister is, and like she had this very 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:42.720 unenviable job of being like the intermediary between my parents 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:46.040 and me, and she was put in a really tough position. 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:48.200 But then she left and then I came back out 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:51.160 again in college to everybody, and then by senior year, 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:54.200 I was just like this is there's no like I 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.080 can't hide this. It just it really was like a 0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:01.600 daily exercise of a daily strain of being like, all right, 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:03.680 what am I going to say to my parents about this? 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:05.760 And you know what am I going to say when 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.280 they ask me about that? And it just became this 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:12.080 like wait and it just it just at a certain time, 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:13.400 it's a little too much to bear. 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:16.600 Literally, does your relationship readily heal? 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:21.040 No, certainly not. It took a while, but then but 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:22.960 then it was like and like my parents had like 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.680 never asked me about anyone I was dating, even before 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:27.440 I was out of the closet. They like they were 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:31.200 not interested in that at all. And then like I 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:32.640 think it was two summers ago, I just went to 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:34.600 the grocery store with my mom and Atlanta. My sister 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:39.320 lives in Atlanta now she's got three kids. Just like 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.360 everyone's doing great. But yeah, we went to my mom 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:42.720 and I went to the grocery store and then she 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:44.080 just asked out an nowhere. She was like, are you 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.320 seeing anybody? Are you have a boyfriend? I was like no, 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:51.200 But there was something so like there was just something 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:55.840 so emotionally impactful about that about her just being curious 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:59.640 about her asking me unprompted, like, you know, what's your life? Like, 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.000 that's incredible that it was nice. 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.560 I'd love to talk to you about SNL because it's yeah, 0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:06.959 dream come true for so many people. 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:09.080 How did that come about? So? 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:11.840 I was in this sketch group in New York for 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:15.119 a while and then one of our members sent in 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.600 a packet to submit herself as a writer. Her named 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.520 Sudie Green. She worked there for six years. She was 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:24.320 a writing supervisor, very prolific person in her time there. 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.439 But she was the first person we were like twenty three. 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.120 She was the first person to get sort of like 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:30.119 I'm going to use this sword again, like raptured up 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:32.919 into the spaceship that was like SNL. We were like, 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:34.800 oh my god, like someone's made it. Like it was 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:37.280 such a moment, you know, we were like, is this 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.159 like a rising tide sort of thing, like you know, 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:43.679 are we all gonna like come up with her or whatever? 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.080 And it seemed for a second like we just needed 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:48.280 to give her time to like develop, because I mean, 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:51.760 her first year at SNL was really tough, and it 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:54.120 always is for everybody, but especially for her. I think 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.120 like she was entering the show at a time when 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:59.639 it was super competitive within the show, like this is 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.800 right way, and like Kate McKinnon was doing Hillary, and 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:04.719 like you know, there were so many eyes on it. 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.280 So I didn't ever consider being on the show or 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:10.639 being involved in any way. As someone who grew up 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:13.800 loving it, obsessed with it. I would bring vhs is 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:16.560 to school the next day, not of like the best ofs, 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:18.520 but I would just I would just record the night 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:21.359 before or that or that weekend's SNL and bring it 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:25.680 to school. For like certain teachers, that's illegal. It's illegal, No, 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:26.720 I was I wasn't. 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:30.359 Distributing criminal Oh okay, you were distributing all right. 0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:32.239 Good, yeah, there you go. I was just like, I 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:33.800 was just like prass, like did you see this? I 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:39.280 brought a tape like so so corny. But anyway, my 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.720 manager at the time was like, you know, SNL is 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.119 looking at cast members if you want to send in 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:47.040 a five minute tape of stuff. I was like, they're 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:51.960 never gonna hire an effeminate Asian man. What do I 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:55.480 have to lose? I should just like challenge myself to 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:59.520 make five minutes of stuff of like impressions, characters, whatever. 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:02.840 Let me just try it as an exercise. And I did. 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:04.639 I did not do it. I did not make it 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:08.479 with the intention of it being seen by anybody of 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:12.000 it like getting me anywhere. And I think that's sort 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:14.720 of what was like nice about it was because I 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:17.919 was the stakes were completely off and I was like, 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:19.560 let me do what I think is funny. 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:21.040 Do you remember what you did? 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:24.040 Yeah? I did. I did. I did this trade minister 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:25.760 character that I did on the show that I ended 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:27.960 up doing on the show. I did the soul cycle 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:30.080 instructor that I ended up doing on the show. I 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:34.160 did the model for like those choking posters that ended 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.879 up being on the show. I did like a George 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:40.200 Taque impression. I had like a very limited set of 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.760 things to work with, like they wanted impressions and I 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:44.959 was like, there are only a handful of Asian public 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:46.600 figures that I can like mimic here. 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:49.480 And what was the process like that? What do they 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:51.320 call you right after that? Or do you have to 0:19:51.359 --> 0:19:53.000 go in in person. 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:54.920 After this submission? Like I hear back a couple of 0:19:54.960 --> 0:19:57.600