WEBVTT - Reckless Replay: Unholy Matrimony 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.120 Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:04.559 and the Black effects. 0:00:15.880 --> 0:00:17.640 Man. Just like that, we back on the air. 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:20.560 Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with Sugarl 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:21.680 just hilarious. 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:24.160 Listen, y'all, it's been a lot going on. 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:28.640 For those who don't know, I actually had the pleasure 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:34.040 of hosting Jocelyn's Cabot season four reunion. 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:35.479 Y'all, y'all gotta get into it. 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.880 Make sure if y'all don't got zoos, make sure y'all download. 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:41.800 Yeah, sure, I have to pay a prescription. It's like 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:42.800 a subscription. 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.400 Make sure y'all paid a subscription. Gonna watch y'all, good 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.040 old Sis host that reunion. It's something I've never ever 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:50.919 done before. Now that this is the show where they 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:53.480 be fighting, but it ain't like batties where you gotta 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:56.080 fight to be on it. It's actually some good, enlightening 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.080 shit like I'm proud of Joscelyn. I can't wait for 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:00.840 y'all to see because it's one thing that you would 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:03.200 expect about Jocelyn is to always see her beat the 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:05.480 shit off of mine, and she actually shocked the fuck 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:06.920 out of me. So I need y'all to go ahead 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:10.679 and watch souone into that. That will be coming very soon, y'all, 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:14.080 but we're gonna jump right into fixing the mess now. 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:18.679 This is the lady from a few episodes back that 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:21.559 she called herself checking me, you know, because I didn't 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:25.280 know the laws and I guess the rights of bisexual 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:28.920 women per se, so she called herself checking me. I 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:30.880 did tell her that I knew everything that she was 0:01:30.880 --> 0:01:34.640 telling me, and that that still didn't change what I 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:36.679 thought or what I said to the woman that I 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:40.000 was giving the advice to. And this is what she 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:41.800 has said back, because this was the woman that told 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:43.960 me that she didn't even finish the whole episode because 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.840 I basically I she didn't say I disgusted her, but 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.360 she got upset so she couldn't even finish it. So 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:50.480 how the fuck are you gonna come at me? You 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:52.520 didn't even finish the fucking episode. But this is what 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:53.160 she said. 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:54.680 I haven't listened to it. This is my first time. 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:56.560 I'm listening to it, just like it'll be y'all first time. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:00.800 So here we go, Jess. I hope your day has 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:01.480 gone well. 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:04.960 Yes, ma'am, I'm just hitting you up today just for 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:09.520 two reasons. Firstly, to thank you for listening to my 0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:13.880 last messages to you and responding to them, responding to 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:17.040 me directly and using it and the fix my mess 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:20.400 for last week. It was very enlightening to be able 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:22.840 to hear that. I didn't even know you would use it. 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:24.920 So I just wanted to thank you once again just 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:29.200 for taking the time well yeah, your day, to even respond, 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:33.040 you know, and get back with me on that about 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:36.000 how I was feeling about that particular topic. So I 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:39.320 thank you so much for that first off. And then 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:42.520 also you told me not to contact you again. But 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:45.280 I'm just honestly quite glad that you didn't lock me, 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:48.440 which I expected, just so that I could have this 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:51.400 opportunity to reach back out to you, and thank you 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:52.680 once again for listening. 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:55.040 I also want to. 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:57.640 I ain't gonna block you, girl. No, I ain't say 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:00.040 I was gonna block you. I did tell you I 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.000 don't reach back out to me, now, y'all. I did 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:06.399 say that, now that there is audio of me saying that. 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:08.480 But I was just so upset because I'm like, damn, 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:10.000 how you gonna come at me hear? 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.320 And you finished listening to what I said, I don't 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:13.680 give biased advice. 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:15.360 If I and if I feel like I don't know 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:19.040 that much on a topic, one thing I ain't gonna 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:20.399 do is stick my foot of my mouth. 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:21.040 Because I don't know. 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.080 I don't know the ins and outs of everything that 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:26.240 I'm asked, You know what I mean. But I only 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:29.480 give advice on my own experience and my own wisdom, 0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:29.840 you know. 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:31.560 So if it's anything I don't know. 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.640 I will gladly tell you I can't help you, or 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:36.560 it won't be on an episode because I'm not going 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:38.480 to put your business out there if I can't advise you. 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.560 So, yeah, this is also what she said. 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:45.640 I also want to issue a formal apology to you 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:47.360 for offending you. 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:48.880 And I can't. 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:52.240 Clearly tell by your response to me directly and when 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:55.680 you were doing the fix my mess that I clearly 0:03:56.120 --> 0:04:00.880 offended you by trying to critique your advice. 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:01.360 To someone else. 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:04.960 And I also want to thank you for mirroring back 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:08.640 to me how important word choice is when you're trying 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:12.480 to convey something in a conversation, because I clearly now 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:16.640 recognize let me using the term check you in the 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:20.640 beginning of the conversation. Yeah, definitely put everything in a 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:24.320 more negative light and put you on the defense, rightfully, 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.279 So just a little bit, just a little bit, I 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:29.880 feel like I definitely could have used the better term, 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:33.520 because when I use the word check, I didn't mean 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:36.479 that as in correction. I definitely did mean it as 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.719 in education or just to try to give you another perspective. 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:44.000 Yes, ma'am, see this is what grown women can do. 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:50.640 I love this, Thank you girl, what I've seen done. Okay, 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:54.359 one of her voice notes are not playing, but actually 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:55.560 listen to all of it. 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.839 It was about thirty four minutes, I believe, and stop 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:02.039 when there was just not minutes left. So when I 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:03.960 got your response saying that I needed to listen to 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:05.839 the rest of it, I went ahead and went back 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:07.400 to it, and you know, it picked right. 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.480 Back up where it was, and I realized, you know, 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:10.719 it was just nine minutes left. 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.720 So the last part of what I heard was just you, 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:14.039 you know, giving her more advice. 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.520 Then you did the you know in your pam voice piece. 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.080 The next set of advertisements came on, and then that 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:23.839 was the end of it. So I actually did get 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:27.560 the whole bulk message and that whole session. 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.279 So my apologies for misquoting that as well. 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:33.359 I actually had listened to the majority of it before 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:37.000 I would had applied excuse me, replied, So I can 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:40.800 hopeordily understand how you thinking I only meant because of 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:43.880 my misspeaking, You thinking that I had only listened to 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:46.159 nine minutes and then trying to judge everything. I would 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.400 have been off put by that as well, So I 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:51.280 absolutely get it. So I just wanted to correct that 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:52.400 one point. 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:55.920 Right there, right there you go with the jail right there, 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:56.560 and then. 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:57.640 To answer your question. 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:02.800 So you asked when what I mentioned being triggered, Let 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.640 me also explain what I meant by that. I did 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:09.320 not mean about that specific situation. 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:11.520 I meant in more general terms. 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:16.520 It just seems like in society today, in past and present, 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:20.719 that US women get blamed for a lot that the 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:24.640 men do and not a lot of accountability is placed 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:28.240 on the man. There's a lot of double standards, I mean, 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:30.120 and I know you see it. You see every day 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:33.520 in social media, the different posts they come about, different 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:38.400 podcast conversations between opposite sexes. It just seems like women 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.800 can never do right. You know what I'm saying, And 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.880 that's what I was triggered by not by this particular situation, 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:48.039 just those double standards and how us women have to 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:51.560 take so much on the chin and in my reality 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:51.920 and my. 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:57.160 You know, I wonder why all her voice notes are 0:06:57.200 --> 0:07:02.479 not playing our sisters frustrating me because she heard. 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.080 Some good things to say. 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:06.520 So that's basically it. 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:08.520 I mean, there were some other things that you mentioned, 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.640 but you did mention that you did not want to 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.360 get into it back and forth, so I'm just gonna 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.800 let those things go by the wayside. We can agree 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.640 to disagree on this particular topic, but please know that 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.200 it's not going to stop me from listening to your 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.480 fix my message. I still love them, I still love 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:30.200 you and thank you for everything that you do. And 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:34.080 please know I was not at all offended by anything 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:36.600 that you said or anything thank you, she said in 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.160 response to me, at all, not at all, thank you. 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:40.520 I like to debate. 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.000 I've been on the debate team in schools and things 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:46.360 like that, so that conversation, even though we weren't talking 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.000 directly back and forth to one another, I felt like 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:51.720 that what was going on, and that feeds me, so. 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:53.760 I wholeheartedly appreciate it. 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:56.800 Never took offense to anything, and I still love you, 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:00.640 just the same, just the same. Last I want to 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.320 say is and then I'll get off her because I 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:03.960 need to eat lunch. 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.520 The last thing I want to say is you may 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:09.680 not be aware, but. 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:11.520 I'm sure you can see my picture when I write you, 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.000 I do look very youthful, so I don't know. 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:14.920 Yes you do. 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:18.520 Responding to me as baby girl is meant in. 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:21.480 A oh no no. 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.200 But I'm actually a few years older than you, so 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:25.640 I just wanted to point that out. 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:26.480 That's it. 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:29.680 But once again, Jess, you are awesome. Keep doing what 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:33.000 you do, my sister. You are a voice for the people. 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.920 I love your platform. I will continue to listen, and 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:37.760 I hope you have a beautiful, blessed day. 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:41.200 Love. But bye, Hey mss ma'am. 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:44.520 No, no, no, no, no, no, I literally call if 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:47.560 you listen all the time like you say you do, 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:51.439 I say baby, I call a lot of my women 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.840 baby girl, just because I don't know the ages that 0:08:56.120 --> 0:09:00.640 you women are. Yes, you do look a lot youthful. 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:04.240 You look you look very very youthful, and you're a 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:09.200 photo very nice and curvy too. But yeah, you know, 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.959 you know, little petite, slim little thing, But yeah, you 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.880 do look young, so that that's the only reason that 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:17.920 I call you baby girl. 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:20.160 Not to be smart. I ain't one of those that 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:22.960 be a baby girl, a sweetie. Uh yea. No, not 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:26.360 to be smart. No, I'm not. I literally wasn't. I 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:27.240 do want to. 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:31.160 Thank you, and I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:36.920 actually reach back out after me saying don't be you know, 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:38.800 don't reach back out to me and all of that. 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:40.640 I was just very upset because I was like, no, 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:43.400 she did not call herself checking me. Yes, it does 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:46.800 put a negative connosation on things when you say things, 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:47.719 so I'm checking you. 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:48.280 You know what I mean. 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:52.800 Just these days, wordplace, so it can mean so many 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:56.600 different things. If you're not directly talking to a person 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:59.960 one on one, anything can get misconstrued or misin turn, 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:00.840 bitter or anything. 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:03.439 When you're sending voice notes or when you're sending. 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:06.960 Text messages, like if you're not in the same like 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.400 area as a person, if you're not talking one on one, 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:12.920 she can kind of get lost in translation. You know, 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:16.480 people can assume things. I'm so happy that you were 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:18.680 not offended by anything I said. I'm so happy that 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:21.240 you did hit me back. Guys, I did send her 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:23.400 a message that I did not preview you guys too, 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.640 because I felt like that was for me and her 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:30.040 and not for you guys. Basically, just you know, telling 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.080 her that you know, I hurt my feelings. I ain't 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:34.040 think that she you know, she critiqued me and came 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:35.640 at me and all of that. You know, check me, 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:38.360 But she ain't listened to the whole thing. And and see, 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.240 this is why communication is good as well. I didn't 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:43.480 know that she listened to twenty one minutes of it. 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:44.920 She didn't listen to nine minutes. 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:45.240 I thought. 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:47.080 She said she listened to only nine minutes of it. 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:50.640 So yes, but I appreciate you girl. Keep on going 0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:51.959 back and forth with me, and if you got any 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:55.040 more mess for me to fix, let me know. Hold up, 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.040 hold up, I know this shit getting good, But listen 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:58.920 to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:00.280 If you love me, you'll listen. 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:05.640 All right, Moving on to the next story, here we go, Hey, Jess, 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:08.160 am I wrong? So my best friend of fifteen years 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:10.280 just got engaged and she asked me to be her 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:13.520 maid of honor. I respectfully declined because I know that 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:16.320 she's cheating on her. Now fiance and has no plans 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:16.880 of stopping. 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:17.600 Damn. 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:21.600 I told her I can't support her nor attend the wedding. 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:25.280 She said, if I don't come, it will raise red flags? 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:29.000 Am I wrong? Or should I stand my ground? M 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:31.960 all right? So look check this out right. 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:35.080 What I think is this is a very complex story, 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:38.079 and this can tear you as a best friend and 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:40.200 then as a woman, because as a woman, you standing 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:43.880 on dignity, you standing on integrity, you standing on morals. 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:45.560 You know what I'm saying, and what you believe in. 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.880 What you believe is that when you're marrying somebody, you 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:51.360 have to be faithful, and. 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.160 Upon getting married, you're you're riding your vows. 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:58.800 This is a covenant, you know, of commitment that we're 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:02.280 about to you know, signed before God. 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.439 You know what I'm saying. Aka, this is a contract, Nigga. 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:07.079 You can't you can't fuck this up. 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:12.839 Basically, and in God's eyes, this is a sacred contract, 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.880 a covenant of commitment to be together forever, for better 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:18.720 or for worse. This bitch is already a how worse? 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:20.000 God? Damn? 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:25.640 So basically, your best friend is cheating on her husband, 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:27.680 on her soon to be husband who's now you know 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:31.360 her fiance, you don't want to attend the wedding because 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:35.040 it goes against what you believe, which is you have 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:38.880 to be faithful within your vowels, within your relationship, within 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.640 your marriage. But you know she ain't gonna stop cheating, 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:43.760 so you like, don't. I don't even want to be 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:44.720 a part of this shit. 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:45.720 Hmm. 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:48.880 As a woman, you are doing the right thing. As 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:53.800 a best friend, you are doing the right thing. I'm sorry. 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:58.920 I'm sorry. If it were me and my best friend 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:01.160 was going up to be married and I knew she 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:04.960 was cheating on her husband or her wife, you know, 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:09.360 because my best friend is gay, I don't. I would say, 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:14.800 I'm not gonna lie. I wouldn't not be in the 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:19.520 wedding just because my bond with my best friend trumps everything. 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.840 Like it, I put my bond with her over everything. 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.520 My best friend is my girl, like that's my ride 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.800 or die. And y'all know how much I hate that term, 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:33.000 that phrase ride or god. No, this is my real 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:38.959 life of a half type best friendshit. Like best friend 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:43.600 is used very loosely these days. The term friend in 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:44.600 general is. 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:46.520 Used very loosely these days. 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:51.200 I feel like to defined friend that that gotta be, man, 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.199 you're confidant. The person that tells you when you're wrong, 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.000 the person that you run to for advice, the person 0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:01.280 that runs to you for advice, person that loves you 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.400 in and out, that loves you no matter what you 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.640 got in your bank account, that loves you no matter 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:12.400 what obstacles are throwing your way and shit like that's 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:13.319 that's a friend. 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:14.360 That's a friend. 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:17.280 And a person that holds you down, man, no matter 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:19.440 what you're going through. A person that spots you, that 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.600 can see when something is wrong, a person that doesn't 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.920 ignore you, that sees you for who you are, no 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.920 matter what what's going on, whether that's good or bad. 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:31.800 They with you in your times of ups as they're 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:35.480 with you in your times of down. So that's what 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.280 a friend is for me. That's what a That's what 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:41.440 a best friend is that I just described. And her 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:48.440 cheating on her fiance still would not make me decline 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:50.080 being her. 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:51.360 Maid of honor at her wedding. 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.720 Now, will there be a conversation put in place prior 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:57.640 to the wedding and what I think she should do, 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:04.360 what I feel she's up against, and how bad I 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:09.080 feel as a woman standing up there, knowing what you're doing, 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:12.120 knowing that you are already breaking your vowals, knowing that 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.640 you that you're up here living a fucking lie. You're 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:18.280 living in sin before God and your wife and you know, 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:21.320 and or husband. Whatever that's gonna bother me, It's not 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:23.040 gonna bother me to the point where I'm gonna say 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:25.520 I'm not gonna be in a wedding, but hmm, it 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:27.400 will bother me a great deal, or yes it would, 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:29.800 but she would definitely know how I feel before she 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.080 walked down that owl. You know what I'm saying, whether 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.720 she still want to go with it or not, whether 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:36.760 she gonna keep it real with her damn self or not. 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:39.800 To be honest, I would object. 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:41.080 I'm not gonna lie. 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:43.320 I'm gonna be one of them to object. I Am 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:47.240 not going to not be there again. I want to 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.680 stress this. I'm not gonna not stand there as her 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:52.640 maid of honor. But what I'm going to do is 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:55.160 tell her what the plan is. Look, I'm gonna stand 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:58.760 up there with you. But if you let that preacher 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:03.200 or pastor whoever or whoever is marrying you, guys, if 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.320 you let him include that one little part where he say, 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.760 speak now, will forever hold your peace? If you feel 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:12.280 you know that these two shouldn't get married, I'm gonna say, Okay, listen, 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:16.120 I do I feel like they shouldn't. I feel like 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:18.600 they shouldn't. I don't feel like they ready yet. And 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.960 then the husband or the wife would be like, yes, 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.320 I am, and then look at my best friend, like, 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:26.360 why is your best friend stepping out of line saying 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:29.560 this shit? And she gonna have to tell that nigga 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:33.040 or tell that woman right there, because she knows something 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.240 that the rest of you don't know. She knows something 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:37.360 that you don't know. I'm cheating on you currently and 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:40.200 I didn't plan to stop. And so my best friend 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:43.680 had a problem with that, and she's actually battling her 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:48.240 morals standing here next to me today marrying you knowing 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:52.000 damn well, I cheat and I'm not gonna stop now. 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:54.840 She may not say it like that shit. It ain't 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:57.720 my place to tell him. It's definitely my place to object. 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:00.920 It's your place to tell him. So yeah, while I'll 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:03.720 be there with ringing bells, bright out and bushy tailed, 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:09.360 supporting my girl, I'm going to give that objection. 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:12.520 I don't think that she's ready. I do not think 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:14.960 that she's ready, And I'm. 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.280 Sorry if she choose to be like, I don't know 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.240 what she's talking about, I'm ready, I'll be like, all right, 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.960 that's fine, and then I will. 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:22.800 Step back in line. 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:28.280 So niggas, no niggas, could just try to stop the shit, 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.560 so that way that the voice won't look so ugly, 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:34.119 the voice won't look like it just came out of 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:37.520 fucking nowhere because just tried the warners. 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:37.960 Period. 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:40.440 Now we got a commercial, and if you click off 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:42.480 this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:43.119 Listen. 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:48.280 Now, I know a lot of my listeners are gonna 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.199 be like, Jess is lying. She is not about to 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.119 stand up there against our best friend and say no 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:54.240 bullshit like that. 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:57.359 And da da da da da da da, and said, listen, 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:59.280 you shitn't me? You shitting me? 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:04.280 Absolutely understand as a best friend the position that you're 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:07.040 put in. And I honestly feel like you should have 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:09.359 a conversation with your girls. She says, sh don't want to, 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:13.080 She don't, she ain't gonna stop, don't be in a wedding. 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:14.520 I honestly feel. 0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:16.560 Like that I just gave you what I would do, 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:21.240 and what I would do would probably embarrass her much more, 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:25.080 you know, embarrass her furthermore. But it's better to get 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:28.639 that shit out the way then then later on break 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:32.160 this man's heart over something that could have been prevented, 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:32.880 you know what I mean. 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:33.679 I know the wedding is. 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.880 Already probably paid for. She wants to have a cake 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.280 and eat it too, and shit like that, and. 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:41.320 I know that. 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:45.719 But you know, obviously you are a woman of deep morale, 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:48.240 and you just don't. 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:49.120 You don't. 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.560 You don't like certain shit, you don't stand for certain shit. 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:53.320 And I feel like as a woman, you're doing the 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.600 right thing, and as a best friend, you're doing an 0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:59.440 even wright thing. Just have that conversation. This may put 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:03.000 a wedge, drop a wedge between you and your best friend, 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.760 but when it's for the greater good and the bigger picture, 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:07.480 I don't see anything wrong with that. 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:09.400 And if it ain't gonna physically. 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.280 Hurt you or mentally hurt you or emotionally hurt you 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:15.000