Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central, YEW. If you've been tuning
Speaker 1: out the presidential campaign so far, I get it. It's boring.
Speaker 1: I mean, my grandpa is also a rambling eighty year
Speaker 1: old man, and let me tell you, I keep half
Speaker 1: an ear open for the word inheritance and I just
Speaker 1: ignore everything else. But the presidential campaign won't be boring
Speaker 1: for long because this week Trump and Biden will be
Speaker 1: rambling face to face. That's right. Thursday is the first
Speaker 1: presidential debate, and these men are going toe to toe,
Speaker 1: and if you've ever met or seen old men's toes,
Speaker 1: you know that's going to be a dirty fight. Finally,
Speaker 1: the American people will have something to judge these candidates
Speaker 1: on aside from the four years that they were both
Speaker 1: president already. And Joe Biden, for one, he's ready for
Speaker 1: battle the president.
Speaker 2: This morning, it continues to be hunkered down at Camp David,
Speaker 2: fine tuning his messaging, honing his attack lines. That he's
Speaker 2: huddling there with over a dozen advisors, and over the
Speaker 2: coming days his prep is expected to evolve from gaming
Speaker 2: out questions and answers to holding ninety minute mock debates.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the most dubious thumbs up I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: That's the football player as he's being carted off the field.
Speaker 1: He's gonna be okay, folks, his thumb is working well,
Speaker 1: that's right. Joe Biden is holding up at Camp David
Speaker 1: and doing ninety minute mock debates, although most of that
Speaker 1: is just him walking up to the podium. And if
Speaker 1: you're wondering who could possibly prepare him for debating Donald Trump,
Speaker 1: will Joe Biden has just the guy.
Speaker 3: Attorney Bob Bauer would be standing in for Trump during
Speaker 3: mock debate sessions, yelling insults at Biden and trying to
Speaker 3: get under his skin.
Speaker 2: When you're playing a role, you're trying to make the
Speaker 2: experience as realistic for the person you're working with as possible.
Speaker 1: Really, the guy who plays Santa Claus at the bad Mall,
Speaker 1: this is your Trump. I don't know if he can
Speaker 1: replicate the unhinged madness of debating Donald Trump. The only
Speaker 1: Biden staffer who could pull that off is that dog
Speaker 1: that keeps biting everyone in the face. But regardless of
Speaker 1: how he prepares, there's one thing Biden can be sure of,
Speaker 1: where exactly he's going to be on that stage.
Speaker 3: We're getting more details today about how the high stakes
Speaker 3: debate stage will look. Biden won the coin toss and
Speaker 3: chose to stand on the right side of the stage.
Speaker 3: Why the right, There's actually a scientific reason. When there
Speaker 3: are two people on stage TV viewers' eyes are drawn
Speaker 3: to the right side.
Speaker 1: Wow, thank you science. I mean, hey, any news on
Speaker 1: a cancer cure? No, maybe, whenever you're done debating left
Speaker 1: or right? Possibly, Hey, it may usually be true that viewers'
Speaker 1: eyes are drawn to the right, but in this case
Speaker 1: there'll be even more drawn to the neon man ranting
Speaker 1: about how toilets don't flush anymore thanks to transgender swimmers.
Speaker 1: But I do like this coin toss thing. You know,
Speaker 1: why stop with the debate side. Let's have the coin
Speaker 1: determine who wins the election. Yeah, it would be so
Speaker 1: much less stressful than five months of campaigning. Just flip
Speaker 1: the coin heads, it's Trump, tails, it's Biden. If the
Speaker 1: coin bounces and rolls into the sewer, it's RFK Junior. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's what Joe Biden is up to. But preparing for
Speaker 1: the debate is not the only way to prepare for
Speaker 1: the debate, Because Joe Biden's opponent. Well, he's taking a
Speaker 1: different approach.
Speaker 4: Almost everything that President Biden is doing, Donald Trump is not.
Speaker 4: There are no mock debates, There are no rehearse punchlines
Speaker 4: or pivot points. The poor president also didn't take any
Speaker 4: time away from the campaign trail.
Speaker 1: Tell me a.
Speaker 4: Little bit about how you're preparing for the debate, right
Speaker 4: because we see that President Biden is out of camp. David,
Speaker 4: you're on the campaign trail. What's your strategy for the debate?
Speaker 1: Well, this is really the best strategy right here.
Speaker 5: We have all these people's screaming questions.
Speaker 1: Okay, first of all, no one's screaming questions. You're elevated
Speaker 1: on a platform talking at people the whole time. And
Speaker 1: how convenient is it that Trump's debate prep is holding
Speaker 1: rallies the thing he wants to do. Anyway, It's like
Speaker 1: when finals were coming up and you had that one
Speaker 1: friend who would say, you know, I retained information better
Speaker 1: when I'm high. You know, It's like, just to be clear,
Speaker 1: that was my friend, that wasn't me.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 1: Of course, when you don't prepare for a debate, you
Speaker 1: run the risk of losing the debate. So it helps
Speaker 1: to lower expectations a little bit.
Speaker 7: Trump appears to be lowering expectations and making excuses ahead of.
Speaker 1: The upcoming presidential debate with President Biden.
Speaker 5: So I'm not underestimating him. I'm not underestimating him.
Speaker 8: I assume he's going to be somebody that will be
Speaker 8: a word the debater.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm better of losing the debate. I'll lose the
Speaker 1: debate on purpose. Maybe I'll do something like that, all right,
Speaker 1: don't lower expectations that far. Maybe I'll lose the debate.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll shit my pants and run off stage crying
Speaker 1: about how much shit is actually in my pants. That's
Speaker 1: how you'll know I've won. But this brings up an
Speaker 1: interesting quandary for the Trump campaign. Right now, Trump is
Speaker 1: saying Biden is a worthy debater, but don't forget for
Speaker 1: the past three and a half years, he's been saying
Speaker 1: Biden is a demented moron with the brain power of
Speaker 1: a Love Island contestant. So how are Republicans going to
Speaker 1: explain it if a guy they say has jello for
Speaker 1: brains really does beat Trump, Well, don't worry. They have
Speaker 1: a plan. The Trump campaign and the Trump allies. They
Speaker 1: keep floating this conspiracy that Biden is going to be
Speaker 1: amped up on drugs. They're going to need to goose
Speaker 1: him and juice in.
Speaker 9: For a lot of Red bull, a lot of caffeine pills.
Speaker 1: He's on adderall, He's on riddle.
Speaker 5: In etcrin that has caffeine in it, hopped up on
Speaker 5: B twelve ivy fluids, Monster Energy track or something or something.
Speaker 8: Whatever happened to all that cocaine that was missing a
Speaker 8: month ago from the lay.
Speaker 1: Whatever happened. Look, look we all know what happened. That
Speaker 1: dog snorted it before a bit someone's face off. Certainly
Speaker 1: it's conservative media now just wildly speculating that the president
Speaker 1: is on drugs. Could be cocaine, could be adderall, maybe both.
Speaker 1: I mean, at this point, Fox News is basically my
Speaker 1: friend's group chat about Justin timberleg So. So yes, the
Speaker 1: Republican talking point is that if Biden does well, it's
Speaker 1: because he's taking performance enhanching drugs, which is just such
Speaker 1: a stupid conspiracy theory, because first off, if Biden's body
Speaker 1: could handle even half of what they're saying, he's the
Speaker 1: strongest man alive. You know, he'll win the presidency and
Speaker 1: the Kentucky Derby. Now, just by the way, Trump isn't
Speaker 1: I really wanted to talk because in the same speech
Speaker 1: where he claimed Biden is mentally incapacitated, he was going
Speaker 1: around saying things like this.
Speaker 5: And my stupid people.
Speaker 8: When I wanted to refute it, they should sure don't
Speaker 8: dignify it with a refuddle, refutal or refunnel.
Speaker 1: What the hell word would that be? Refunnled?
Speaker 8: Do what they'll say, he didn't know refuddle or refutal,
Speaker 8: But they don't know either.
Speaker 1: It's neither. It's neither of those words. What do you
Speaker 1: mean they don't know? No, I don't know what fake
Speaker 1: word you're trying to say. This dude's entire brain is
Speaker 1: just squiggly red spell check lines, and then his mouth
Speaker 1: always tries to refuddle every thought he has. That's the
Speaker 1: big difference between Biden and Trump. When they make a mistake,
Speaker 1: Biden will correct himself, whereas Trump will deflect and call
Speaker 1: everyone else an idiot, which, to be honest, is more relatable.
Speaker 1: And it's like when I get to and then I
Speaker 1: accuse everyone else of being drunk instead of just focusing
Speaker 1: on the road. Right, So thank you for laughing. So,
Speaker 1: on one hand, Biden's taking the whole week to prepare it,
Speaker 1: and on the other hand, Trump's raw dog in it.
Speaker 1: Two very different approaches, but which one's right. For more
Speaker 1: on the debate over whether to prepare for a debate
Speaker 1: or just to wing it, let's go to Desi Lideck
Speaker 1: and Troy.
Speaker 7: Awada Ya Desi, Desi, you're for preparation.
Speaker 1: Why is that better? Thank you, Michael.
Speaker 10: Preparation is the better approach because it gives you the
Speaker 10: tools you need to lay out your position, project confidence
Speaker 10: and do this thing with your thumb. Because, as Thomas
Speaker 10: Edison said, genius is one percent inspiration and ninety nine
Speaker 10: percent perspiration.
Speaker 1: Thank you the wise Troy. Why are you pro winging it?
Speaker 1: Because I'm not a dork.
Speaker 11: While Desi was in the nerd zone, I was eating
Speaker 11: a double cheeseburger in a pool, staring at a cloud
Speaker 11: that looked like a double cheeseburger.
Speaker 1: And what did all that studying do for her?
Speaker 11: I can also quote Thomas Edison, if you build it,
Speaker 11: he will come.
Speaker 10: He did not say that. That's from Field of Dreams.
Speaker 1: You know I did like that movie. I'm going to
Speaker 1: give a point to Troy for that. Now does he
Speaker 1: try again.
Speaker 10: Okay, okay, okay. Preparation gives you the best chance of
Speaker 10: crafting your answer, all right, and I will prove it.
Speaker 10: If I were prepping Joe Biden to answer a debate
Speaker 10: question on inflation, here's what I do. I'd arm him
Speaker 10: with a six point economic plan that addresses rising costs,
Speaker 10: job creation, affordable housing, tuition costs, abortion rights, and always
Speaker 10: always landing on a charming story about a factory worker
Speaker 10: named Jack.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. Blah blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah.
Speaker 11: Do you do you really want the queen of Library
Speaker 11: town talking about a plan or do you want someone
Speaker 11: like me who just says, don't worry, I got this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, See, Deisy, it seems like he's got this point
Speaker 1: to Troy. You know.
Speaker 10: That is not a point for Troy when he's saying
Speaker 10: is empty. Someone who prepares for debate is someone who
Speaker 10: prepares for everything, and that's what you want a president.
Speaker 11: Look at this cat that I drew. It has swords
Speaker 11: for arms. It's not cool, dude, that is awesome.
Speaker 1: I'm not equine for toy cats. Yeah, you're not selling
Speaker 1: me on preparation right now.
Speaker 10: Okay, okay, fine, you know what, I'm nimble. I can
Speaker 10: see that being unprepared is winning this debate. So let
Speaker 10: me tell you this. In my preparation for being prepared,
Speaker 10: I also prepared a scenario where I am unprepared.
Speaker 6: Huh, okay, look at me.
Speaker 10: I don't really care about this. I'm an easy, breezy
Speaker 10: lemon squeeze.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me just let me just stop me there.
Speaker 1: That was so bad. I'm going to give another point
Speaker 1: to Troy. I mean I agree. Seriously.
Speaker 10: Look, yes, okay, policy is boring, preparation is nerdy, but
Speaker 10: this country needs people that are prepared to run it.
Speaker 10: A debate isn't some Bravo reunion. It's where candidates outline
Speaker 10: their policies and platforms, their belief systems. So yes, running
Speaker 10: the country is the one test you have to study.
Speaker 11: For counterpoint, I'm on the right side of the TV screen.
Speaker 1: You know what, Troy wins. Troy wins, Desney Lioneck and
Speaker 1: Troy A wanna everybody.
Speaker 6: Show.
Speaker 1: My word is John Stewart.
Speaker 9: Thank you Ausin very much for joining us. We are
Speaker 9: coming to you live.
Speaker 1: You may say, we.
Speaker 12: Just watched what you watched.
Speaker 9: We just witnessed a debate between President Joseph Robinette Biden
Speaker 9: versus former President Donald Robinette Trump. It was a highly
Speaker 9: anticipated affair, according to the network that was running it.
Speaker 5: The first Biden Trump debate a little over one month away.
Speaker 1: Right here on.
Speaker 11: CNN, we are less than two weeks away from the
Speaker 11: first presidential debate, just.
Speaker 1: One week from today.
Speaker 6: Welcome to the.
Speaker 11: First work day of the most important week of the
Speaker 11: presidential campaign.
Speaker 1: Three days and counting just two days. Now, we're about
Speaker 1: thirty hour, thirty ish hours.
Speaker 12: Just over twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: Twelve and a half hours.
Speaker 12: Say the words, It's debate.
Speaker 1: Day in America.
Speaker 9: The candidates must have been so excited to know that
Speaker 9: they haven't missed it.
Speaker 12: I imagine old man Biden opening.
Speaker 9: His window and shouting at the street below, you're that boy,
Speaker 9: What day is today? Why it's debate day? Then there's
Speaker 9: still time prepare the debate, goose. Prior to the event,
Speaker 9: what did the political class believe would be the criteria
Speaker 9: for each candidate to be successful in the debate?
Speaker 12: First, Donald Trump.
Speaker 7: Trump has to show that he's not going to end democracy.
Speaker 2: Don't respond in a way that the suburban mothers wouldn't like, donatterrupt,
Speaker 2: Joe Biden, don't take debate, don't look like a bully,
Speaker 2: don't get angry, portray normalness.
Speaker 12: Can't you just pretend to be normal for ninety minutes?
Speaker 12: How is that advice for a presidential debate?
Speaker 9: And not what you would say say to your parents
Speaker 9: when you bring home a date for.
Speaker 1: The first time?
Speaker 12: Can you not talk about January sixth?
Speaker 9: And please don't do your Asian voice.
Speaker 12: I really like this girl, but that's Trump.
Speaker 9: Surely the expectations on President Biden will be higher.
Speaker 1: He absolutely cannot have a senior moment, a.
Speaker 2: Physical or verbal stumble him forgetting something.
Speaker 5: Any of his kind of freezing moments.
Speaker 9: Stay alert, to stay engaged, and to stay awake.
Speaker 2: President Biden has to show that he can stand there
Speaker 2: for an extended period of time, remain.
Speaker 6: Upright, remain.
Speaker 12: Upright to be president.
Speaker 9: You know, I may be mistaken, but I believe those
Speaker 9: are the same qualifications needed to be scarecrow. Tonight, the
Speaker 9: president must show the country that he can keep our
Speaker 9: corn safe. But then it was time for the actual debate.
Speaker 9: And let's see how it began. Both men came out
Speaker 9: and oh yes, okay, And then, of course both men
Speaker 9: are ambulatory they are both upright.
Speaker 12: Level one cleared.
Speaker 9: It's going to be an important discussion between two important men.
Speaker 6: What are the rules?
Speaker 7: You want to share the rules of the debate with
Speaker 7: the audience at home.
Speaker 1: Each candidate will have two minutes to.
Speaker 9: Answer a question and one minute each for responses and rebuttals.
Speaker 12: What can you do it to a minute?
Speaker 9: I can't even articulate what's wrong with your entire setup
Speaker 9: to this debate? An ad break to watch a Whulu
Speaker 9: show is three minute?
Speaker 12: What can you do in two minutes?
Speaker 9: But all right, that's gonna winnow out anything that might
Speaker 9: be interesting or substance.
Speaker 12: But let's begin.
Speaker 9: We know the bar that's been set up for each
Speaker 9: to pass. Biden has to not look old and not
Speaker 9: have a senior moment.
Speaker 13: Making sure that we're able to make every single solitary
Speaker 13: person eligible for what I've been able to do with
Speaker 13: the UH, with the COVID, I excuse me with dealing
Speaker 13: with everything we have to do with if we finally
Speaker 13: beat medicare, Thank.
Speaker 1: You, President Biden.
Speaker 9: I need to call a real estate agent in New Zealand.
Speaker 12: Okay, high pressure situation.
Speaker 9: A lot of times you can confuse saving Medicare with
Speaker 9: beating it. I'm sure it's not something that repeated throughout
Speaker 9: the debate, causing Democrats across the country to either jump
Speaker 9: out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling
Speaker 9: Then anybody can talking, how did Biden do?
Speaker 12: Not talking?
Speaker 1: How close the police are there?
Speaker 5: Almost every police group in the nation from every state,
Speaker 5: and everybody wanted.
Speaker 1: To get it back to the States everybody.
Speaker 5: And China nothing, and Russia nothing, in India nothing.
Speaker 1: I will have that reporter out.
Speaker 5: He should have had him out a long time ago
Speaker 5: because I didn't have legislation.
Speaker 12: I said, close the border.
Speaker 14: We had the safest border in history.
Speaker 9: Not great, but uh, A lot of people have resting
Speaker 9: twenty fifth Amendment face. I'm not a political expert, but
Speaker 9: while Biden was preparing at Camp David for a week,
Speaker 9: did anyone mention he would also be on camera on
Speaker 9: the split screen? Is there any moment here that can
Speaker 9: save Biden.
Speaker 2: This is the first presidential election since the Supreme Court
Speaker 2: overturned Rob Wade.
Speaker 12: Oh shit, we're back baby.
Speaker 1: Abortion. Ain't to the B to the O, to the AWE,
Speaker 1: to the D to the the repeal of rov Wade.
Speaker 12: That is Trump's weakest issue.
Speaker 1: It's been a great thing.
Speaker 6: Oh he is, it's a great thing.
Speaker 1: Hit him, Joey, I'm a terrible thing. What you've done,
Speaker 1: this is awesome.
Speaker 9: We are done here tk oh no, no, no, Joe, Joe, Joe,
Speaker 9: don't say anything else, Joey.
Speaker 13: The idea that states are able to do this is
Speaker 13: a little like saying we're going to turn civil rights
Speaker 13: back to the states. Let each state have a different rule. Look,
Speaker 13: there's so many young women who have been including a
Speaker 13: young woman who just was murdered and he went to
Speaker 13: the funeral. The idea that she was murdered by an
Speaker 13: immigrant coming in they talk about that.
Speaker 12: Did you just immigration?
Speaker 1: Abortion?
Speaker 14: Yeah?
Speaker 12: I know, abortion, it is one of our strongest issues.
Speaker 9: But let me for a moment talk about immigrants killing
Speaker 9: and righting people.
Speaker 1: It's one of the weakest folks.
Speaker 9: I think sportsmanship would insist that an opponent not sees
Speaker 9: on a opportunities such as this.
Speaker 5: There have been many young women murdered by the same
Speaker 5: people he allows to come across our border.
Speaker 12: So how do we do this?
Speaker 9: Now? Do I take his car back to the White
Speaker 9: House tonight? I mean, gam on, we done with this shit?
Speaker 9: Do I use ups his stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean, game on. That was crazy what he did
Speaker 1: just now.
Speaker 9: So Biden perhaps not on top of his game. Maybe
Speaker 9: I will check out this young upstart Donald Trump. Obviously,
Speaker 9: the election is a binary choice, so let me see
Speaker 9: what this Trump fella is about. As we learned earlier,
Speaker 9: he just had to come in there and not be
Speaker 9: an asshole.
Speaker 1: He doesn't care about our veterans. He doesn't care.
Speaker 5: He doesn't like the military at all. Probably the worst
Speaker 5: administration in history, the worst presidency in the history of
Speaker 5: our country. This shouldn't be a debate. He's the worst resident.
Speaker 5: I really don't know what he said at the end
Speaker 5: of this. I don't think he knows what he said either.
Speaker 1: He challenged me to a golf match.
Speaker 5: He can't hit about fifty yards.
Speaker 9: Does not appear to have passed the asshole test. See
Speaker 9: me after debate. All right, Trumper, what do you got
Speaker 9: on substance?
Speaker 5: We had the greatest economy in the history of our country,
Speaker 5: a lot of credit for the military, and no wars
Speaker 5: and so many other things.
Speaker 6: Everything was rock and good.
Speaker 5: But the thing we never got the credit for and
Speaker 5: we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess.
Speaker 5: He allowed millions of people to come in here from prisons, jails,
Speaker 5: and mental institutions. The only jobs he created are for
Speaker 5: illegal immigrants. We had the lowest taxes ever. I didn't
Speaker 5: have sex with the porn star.
Speaker 9: She was a porn character actor at best. I'm not
Speaker 9: saying she couldn't open a movie. But so just so
Speaker 9: we're all clear, everything that Donald Trump said in that
Speaker 9: clip is a lie, blatant and full. And we were
Speaker 9: tight on time putting this together. There's plenty more. It
Speaker 9: really makes you wonder, what's RFK.
Speaker 12: Junior doing tonight. Maybe he's got some w what's up?
Speaker 9: I'm sorry, Oh, vaccines, No, I see that's but yeah,
Speaker 9: sure there's sie effects to all of them, okay, and
Speaker 9: a wormware okay, fair enough.
Speaker 12: He's vice president, she'll running. They donated, okay.
Speaker 9: Anyway, there was, of course a moment where I kind
Speaker 9: of thought we were getting substantive.
Speaker 13: I was recently in France from D Day, and I
Speaker 13: spoke all about those heroes that died. I went to
Speaker 13: the World War II cemetery, World War One cemetery. Refused
Speaker 13: to go to. He was standing with his four star
Speaker 13: general and he told me, said, I don't want to
Speaker 13: go in there because they are much of a loser
Speaker 13: and suckers. My son was not a loser, was not
Speaker 13: a sucker. You're the sucker.
Speaker 1: You're the loser.
Speaker 12: Shit just got real.
Speaker 1: The first of all, that was a made up quote, a.
Speaker 9: Made up quote, which I think a trump land means.
Speaker 1: That's a real quote.
Speaker 6: That's a quote.
Speaker 9: But this is about our nation's veterans foreign policy. This
Speaker 9: is important to Biden.
Speaker 13: Come on, brother wor Star general stand your side was
Speaker 13: on your.
Speaker 6: Staff who said you said?
Speaker 13: Period, We've done more for veterans than any president has
Speaker 13: in American history. The only sacred obligation we have as
Speaker 13: a country is to care for our veterans when they
Speaker 13: come home and their families and equip them when they
Speaker 13: go to war. That's what we're doing. That's what the
Speaker 13: VA is doing now. They're doing more for veterans than
Speaker 13: ever before in our history.
Speaker 6: All right, thank you.
Speaker 10: So much for let's move to the topic of foreign policy.
Speaker 1: Wait what, move on?
Speaker 12: No, we don't move to stay on that topic. Not
Speaker 12: move on, dot No, don't go moving on. Who came
Speaker 12: up with these.
Speaker 9: Dumb ass rules and why would any of.
Speaker 12: These people agree to them?
Speaker 9: The one thing that we did prove tonight is that
Speaker 9: the MAGA conspiracy theory about Biden's upcoming debate performance was nonsense.
Speaker 5: A little before debate time, he gets a shot.
Speaker 1: In the ass.
Speaker 3: They are giving the president some sort of a stimulant,
Speaker 3: an add drug adderall riddling.
Speaker 1: New drugs that are out there.
Speaker 11: They are specifically for Alzheimer's or Parkinson's, a.
Speaker 9: Lot of caffeine pills E twelve debate viagriate, Well, certainly
Speaker 9: there are drugs that can be used to energize a
Speaker 9: person in that state. I apologize for how fast I'm
Speaker 9: talking now I'm on those drugs. Let me just say,
Speaker 9: after watching tonight's debate, both of these men should be
Speaker 9: using performance enhancing drugs.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I told you.
Speaker 9: As much of it as they can get, as many
Speaker 9: times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance
Speaker 9: enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and,
Speaker 9: in one of the candidates cases, improve their truthfulness, morality
Speaker 9: and malignant narcissism.
Speaker 12: Then suppository away.
Speaker 9: Guess what, everybody, They should be taken whatever magical drugs
Speaker 9: can kick their brains into gear.
Speaker 12: Because this ain't Olympics.
Speaker 1: Swimming.
Speaker 12: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 9: Oh, he solved the Middle East, but he was doping,
Speaker 9: So it doesn't doubt there's gonna be an asterisk next
Speaker 9: to his presidency. And by the way, if those drugs
Speaker 9: don't exist, if there aren't actually performance enhancing drugs for
Speaker 9: these candidates, I could sure use some recreational ones right now,
Speaker 9: because this cannot be real life.
Speaker 1: It just can't.
Speaker 12: We're America God.
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