1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,679 Speaker 1: But the most important things in our life, the things 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: that are the most valuable, we are willing to do 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: just about anything for right. We're willing to spend that 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: higher dollar. We're willing to spend the time. When it 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: comes to ourselves, we have to acknowledge where we are. 6 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: Are we investing in ourselves? Do we find worth in 7 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 1: ourself enough to invest in ourselfs? 8 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily body here. You are listening to another 9 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 2: installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle, a Whileness focus podcast 10 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 2: where I connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to 11 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 2: top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments, 12 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 2: and everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life, 13 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 2: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you 14 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 2: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that 15 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,040 Speaker 2: you can stride towards your own big potential and of 16 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 2: course have some fun along the way. For today's episode, 17 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 2: I am so elated to bring you the light that 18 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 2: is my good friend Vanessa Bryant. She's the founder of Unleashed, 19 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 2: which is a woman's empowerment concept. 20 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 3: I talked about it on the show not all that 21 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 3: long ago. 22 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 2: She recently held her first weekend event over in Salt 23 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 2: Lake City. She's also an author and a wellness advocate and, 24 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 2: like I said, just such a light and a dear 25 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 2: friend of mine, So I'm honored to have her on 26 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 2: the show. 27 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 3: Today we are chatting. 28 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 2: All about how to strategically build self worth. Vanessa lets 29 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 2: us in on her journey, talking about a low point, 30 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,279 Speaker 2: a hurdle moment in her life after having her daughter, 31 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 2: where she felt as though she had to. 32 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 3: Re exis the woman that she had become. 33 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 2: You know, there are so many different chapters that we 34 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 2: all undergo on our journey, and during those chapters we 35 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 2: closely relate or identify with different titles. 36 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 3: So upon becoming a mother, Vanessa. 37 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 2: Realized that she needed to take a step back and 38 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 2: really examine what was truly important in her life and 39 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 2: how she wanted to continue to show up not just at. 40 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,359 Speaker 3: Home, but also in her work. 41 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 2: Now spoiler alert, that journey helped her massively build her 42 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 2: own self worth, so that is why she is here. 43 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 3: To talk to us about that topic today. 44 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 2: In doing so, she reveals four actionable tips and suggestions 45 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 2: that we can all use when it comes to becoming 46 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 2: our own biggest hype man, hype woman, hype human, and. 47 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 3: Trust me, all of these tips. 48 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 2: Are ones that you can easily implement into your routine 49 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,839 Speaker 2: within the next couple of weeks, and if you do, 50 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 2: I promise you're going to see a major difference. Listen, 51 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 2: Just like the said at the top of this episode, 52 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 2: investing in yourself is one of the best choices that 53 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 2: you can make so that you can not only show 54 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 2: up for you, but then pour into the cups of 55 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 2: the ones that you love. 56 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 3: Loved this convo. 57 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 2: Grateful to Vanessa for making the time and excited to 58 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 2: bring it to the feed. Make sure you are following 59 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 2: along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle Podcast. I am over 60 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 2: at Emily a Body, and I'd love to feature you 61 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 2: in an upcoming weekly hurdle via the Hurdler Spotlight. To 62 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 2: submit yourself to be featured, head on over to the 63 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 2: show notes and click submit a Hurdler Spotlight. I feature 64 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 2: one new hurdler in every Friday newsletter and with that, 65 00:03:54,920 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 2: let's get to hurdling. Today. I am chatting with my 66 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 2: dear friend Vanessa Bryant. She is the founder of Unleash, 67 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 2: a woman's empowerment concept as well as. 68 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 3: An author and a wellness advocate. 69 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,479 Speaker 4: How you do, mness, I'm so good. I'm here with you. 70 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 4: Thank you, m yay. 71 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 2: I know, I'm so excited that this is finally happening 72 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 2: for us. 73 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 3: How are you? How are you really right now? How 74 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 3: are you doing? 75 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 4: That's a good question. I am really good. 76 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: Just came off a high from Unleash, which you were 77 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 1: with me, and that was so amazing. I think I'm 78 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: in a state of what next, and that's exciting. It's 79 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: also a little overwhelming, But I'm great, I'm good. 80 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 2: I think a lot of people listening to this can 81 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 2: probably relate to that idea of the come down from 82 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,840 Speaker 2: something that you were so diligently toward. You had been 83 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 2: planning Unleash for the better part of a year. As 84 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 2: I mentioned at the top half of this, a woman's 85 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 2: empowerment concept. We had a weekend of events, so much 86 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 2: fun out in Salt Lake City just last month. And 87 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 2: now being in this place where you're asking yourself, where 88 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 2: do I go from here? 89 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 3: It can't be really overwhelming. 90 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: Absolutely, and I think it's beautiful in the sense of 91 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 1: you can create anything right out of the possibility, and 92 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: I think that's what Unleashed showed me and proved to 93 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: me really that one there's space for this, there's a 94 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: need for this. The way the women and even us 95 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 1: as facilitators of the event absorbed all of that information, 96 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: on all of that content and really just needed that moment. 97 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: I think it was confirmation that I need to do 98 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: more of this and that this is the space that 99 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: I am in fact supposed to be in. And you 100 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: do like come off of that high of Okay, this 101 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: is it. But then after you've spent so many months 102 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,839 Speaker 1: planning something and then it's over, you're like, Okay, what 103 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: next do I jump right into the next thing. Of course, 104 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: women who were with us were like, we can't wait 105 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,280 Speaker 1: a whole nother year, you know, for this again. So 106 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,599 Speaker 1: when we're doing it again. 107 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 4: And I'm like, hold on a second, I'm not ready for. 108 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 3: All that, You're like, honey, this took a long time. 109 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 3: It's a lot right now. Yeah, exactly. 110 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: So it is a little bit overwhelming, but in the 111 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 1: best of ways, because I, like I said, it's it's 112 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: understanding that the possibilities are endless and the need is there, 113 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: and so with that you just take what you can 114 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: from it and you and you create, and you and 115 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: you move on to the next thing, and you and 116 00:06:57,839 --> 00:06:58,239 Speaker 1: you build. 117 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 2: And the great thing about also as you move forward 118 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 2: informed by what you went through, by your experiences. Right, 119 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 2: So although you carry that with you, you also have 120 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 2: the opportunity to start anew, regardless of what the situation 121 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: might be. So here you and I are chatting about 122 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 2: perhaps your next adventure, putting together another weekend conference of sorts. 123 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 2: But someone listening to this who maybe just ran their 124 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: first five K yeah, finished a certification course, or work 125 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 2: toward a huge presentation at their job, like you have 126 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 2: the opportunity now to sit down and ask yourself, what 127 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 2: is it that. 128 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 3: I truly want going forward? 129 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 2: What about this hurdle that I just overcame feels really 130 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 2: exciting to me? 131 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 3: And what about that maybe didn't serve me? 132 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 2: And how can I use that information to start anew? 133 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 3: Which is really awesome. 134 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: Absolutely I love that, and I think you're absolutely right. 135 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: Life is full of start and stops, right, and it 136 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: always we're always presented new opportunities for a fresh start, 137 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: for a new beginning, to take with us something that 138 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: we've learned from past experiences and carry it into whatever 139 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: is next. For us, and I think that, especially when 140 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: we talk about accomplishments, right, we work so hard for 141 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: whatever it is that we, like you said, maybe it's 142 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: a five K, or maybe it's a project, or maybe you, 143 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:33,959 Speaker 1: like me, started a new business adventure and you're approaching 144 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: different hurdles or you've overcome certain hurdles, and then after 145 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: that you have a moment to reflect and to ask 146 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 1: yourself what is next? And I think the most important 147 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 1: thing from that is to say, Okay, what have I 148 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: learned from everything I've done thus far? And just understand 149 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: that you have full authority over where you go from here. 150 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 4: Can I do it again? Yes? 151 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,760 Speaker 1: If you would like to do, I have to do it. No, 152 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: if you don't want to. You know, whatever it is 153 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: that is you feel that serves you, you have an 154 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: opportunity to take that with you and to build a 155 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,839 Speaker 1: new I think in the space that we're both in 156 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: where we do this work for ourselves but also to 157 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:22,000 Speaker 1: impact others, there's inherently this I want to keep going. 158 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, there really is. 159 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 2: And that step that you mentioned, that audit is one 160 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 2: that can be really easy to skip over. Right, I'm 161 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 2: certainly guilty of this, definitely in my past, I either 162 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 2: won't take the time to celebrate something, or I will 163 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 2: just speed into the next thing without really stopping to 164 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: be like, what was good, what was bad? 165 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,679 Speaker 3: What would I change, how would I pivot? Et cetera, 166 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 3: et cetera. 167 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 2: This easily segues us into learning a little bit more 168 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 2: about you, because you yourself made a pretty decent pivot when 169 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 2: you started writing books and getting more into this work. 170 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,559 Speaker 3: From what I know, you studied in college. 171 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 2: So why don't you give us a little bit of 172 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:09,319 Speaker 2: your background before we dive headfirst into chatting about self worth? 173 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 4: Love that? 174 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely so my background. I actually studied nursing. I 175 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: got my bachelor's degree in nursing. I was a pediatric 176 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: oncology nurse for eight years. Had my daughter, and was 177 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: never on a path of I want to be a 178 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 1: stay at home mom. 179 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 4: That was never in my foresight. Actually, when I. 180 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:39,559 Speaker 1: Had her, I was set on becoming an administrator in health, 181 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: and so I went back to school. I got my 182 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: master's in business administration, and I just knew that I 183 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: was going to be a chief nursing officer of a 184 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: hospital one day. That was what I had my vision 185 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 1: set on. And as we know, life presents us with 186 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,439 Speaker 1: different challenges. After having my daughter, I went back to work, 187 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: has been traveled a lot for work, and I just 188 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:09,200 Speaker 1: sincerely felt like I wasn't able to do anything at 189 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: my best. I felt like I was pulled as a 190 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: new mom from my ability to really focus on that 191 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: part of who I was and learning that new part 192 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: of who I was was a struggle. So I felt 193 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,839 Speaker 1: like I was failing there and at work because I 194 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: was emotionally not present and emotionally pulled. I really struggled 195 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: at work feeling like I was able to succeed. And 196 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: then I was going through school, and as we all know, 197 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: school is so heavy, busy, lots to do, and so 198 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: I just had to have a moment to step back 199 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: and to ask myself and ASA, what is it that 200 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: you really want out a life? And I think really 201 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: the decision was tough because. 202 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,000 Speaker 4: It was this. 203 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: I had worked so hard and told myself so long 204 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 1: that my worth was attached to my job. So when 205 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 1: I sat and reflected, and what came up for me 206 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: was you need to pause your career. And in the 207 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: nursing world, most nurses understand you pause your nursing career. 208 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: You have to start all over again. You always have it, 209 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,679 Speaker 1: but you kind of have to start from the ground up. 210 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: So what I had built, I was really saying, I'm 211 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 1: ready to let go of that. But it was scary, 212 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: and it was scary for you know, the right reasons. 213 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,439 Speaker 1: It was scary for the wrong reasons. And the wrong 214 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,079 Speaker 1: reasons for me was that I was scared of losing 215 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,400 Speaker 1: that attachment that I had built my self worth on 216 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 1: and that was my career. And so I did make 217 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,439 Speaker 1: the decision to stay at home to focus on her, 218 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: to finish school, and in that space, I just really 219 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: struggled with knowing who I was. And so that's where 220 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:07,680 Speaker 1: writing happened. That was an outlet for me to release 221 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: and to process and to be honest about myself. It 222 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: wasn't until you know, year a year probably into writing, 223 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: that I was even able to have conversations like this 224 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: where I could say, I feel like a failure, you know, 225 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: And from the outside looking in, a lot of my 226 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: friends didn't see that. They saw, you know, a powerful woman, 227 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: somebody who was willing to make a sacrifice, somebody who 228 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: was still you know, juggling all of the things. But 229 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: for me, it was gosh, if they can do it, 230 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 1: why can't I do it? It was that comparison and 231 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: my self worth was extremely low at that point in 232 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 1: my life, and so again writing was a way for 233 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: me to process, and through writing, I was able to 234 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 1: finally realize, you know what, there's more women, women especially 235 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 1: men too, that need to hear that it's okay, you 236 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 1: know that one your self worth shouldn't be attached to 237 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 1: your jobs, your accolades, your title, or anything else. It 238 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 1: comes from within. But it's also okay to feel not 239 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: okay and to be able to have a space to 240 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 1: reflect on that, to understand where it's derived from, and 241 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: to feel like you can open up so that you 242 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: can figure out where to go for sure. 243 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 2: And that vulnerability is just so important both for you 244 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 2: to move forward at the time in your own journey 245 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 2: toward building self worth, but also generally right for us 246 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 2: to know that whatever you may be seeing a highlight 247 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,479 Speaker 2: reel or walking down the street. 248 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 3: Nothing is likely as it seems. 249 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 2: So to come out with it and be like, hey, 250 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 2: I'm struggling, ninety nine point nine percent of the time, 251 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 2: everybody else around you is struggling in some way too. 252 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: You know, absolutely absolutely, and what you said is so important. 253 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: This highlight reel is so true. Like I said, from 254 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: the outside looking in, people would say, you're married, you 255 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: have a daughter, you have a successful you know, you 256 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 1: had a successful career. You can still go back to that, 257 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: you're making money. All of the things that you know 258 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: from the outside looking in sound like fulfillment, right, you 259 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: can still be unfulfilled in self, especially if your self 260 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: worth is so low. And so for me, that's where 261 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 1: I recognize that even though writing was a way for 262 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: me to process and for me to find healing and contentment, 263 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 1: I recognize that, you know what, there's more women that 264 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: need to hear this so that they don't feel alone, 265 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: so that they can understand the other side of the 266 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 1: story and to hear somebody say basically me too. You 267 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: know me to sis, I'm going through it just like 268 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: you are. Might be in a different way. But that 269 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: was kind of the goal for me and why I 270 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: made the decision to publish a book. And I'm like, 271 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to publish a book. I have no background 272 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 1: in writing. You know, I enjoy it, but it's not 273 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,760 Speaker 1: something I was trained in. But at that point in 274 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: my life, I was at the point where I could say. 275 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 4: You know what, why not me? You know, why not me? 276 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 4: And so I did. 277 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 1: I self publish a book, which Amazon thankfully makes it 278 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: very easy to do, and it was really well received. 279 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: And I think after that was you know, when you're 280 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: doing your book parties and book releases and book celebrations, right, 281 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: it was that moment where I was gathering women, especially 282 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: together and hearing their stories as they heard mine, that 283 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: I realized that I want to create more spaces for 284 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: women to come together and to share our stories because 285 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: we all have that inner magic, we all have inner medicine. 286 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: I feel that if we give an opportunity to share it, 287 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 1: somebody is going to be impacted and healed from that sharing. 288 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,879 Speaker 1: And I certainly was. I was healed by hearing these others, 289 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,439 Speaker 1: the other women, and their stories and how they've found 290 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:27,160 Speaker 1: help and healing and wholeness. And I think that they 291 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:31,359 Speaker 1: were impacted in a beautiful way by me, by hearing 292 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: my story. 293 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,360 Speaker 3: I'm sure that they have been. I have been. 294 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,560 Speaker 2: Oh. Thanks. You know, when we when we chatted about 295 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,840 Speaker 2: what we really wanted to focus in on here today, 296 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 2: you said that something you're super passionate about, as you 297 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 2: really homed in on telling us about your background is 298 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 2: how to strategically build self worth? 299 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 3: And what really struck me. 300 00:17:54,720 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 2: About this topic was having a plan how to build 301 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 2: yourself up, which seems as though I'm sure the same 302 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 2: plan won't work in the same ways for everyone, but 303 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:14,119 Speaker 2: having certain action items I actually feel to make the 304 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 2: concept I feel makes the concept a little less overwhelming. 305 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 2: So when you say strategically building self worth, what do 306 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:23,400 Speaker 2: you mean by that? 307 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,119 Speaker 4: This is what I mean. I mean exactly what you said. 308 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: We plan so much of our lives, right, and for me, 309 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,119 Speaker 1: I am a constant planner. When I had those moments 310 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 1: of self reflection to say, why is your self worth solo? Well, 311 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: I hadn't done enough to build it up right, And 312 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,439 Speaker 1: there's a lot of us in the world that I feel, 313 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: go around assuming that self self belief, self confidence is 314 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: derived naturally, like people are just innately born with that, 315 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: and it's so far from the truth. Being that I 316 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 1: have a scientific background, of course, I do deep dives 317 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 1: into research and all these things, there's no research that 318 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 1: supports that self believe, self confidence, self worth is something 319 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 1: that is genetically given inherent. Does environments help it and 320 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: influence it, absolutely, but genetically no so then what is 321 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,959 Speaker 1: it what separates one really self confident person from one 322 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: who really struggles with self confidence? And that to me 323 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 1: is just having a plan, having a plan that is 324 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 1: building you up, pouring back into yourself. The things that 325 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: we care about the most in our life we invest in. 326 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: And so for me, it was, Hey, Vanessa, if you 327 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: want to build your self worth, we need to be 328 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: strategically making sure every single day we are doing something 329 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,159 Speaker 1: to build that up. And just like when you're in 330 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 1: the gym, right you have a workout plan. You know 331 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: you want to work up, work on your upper body, 332 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:06,960 Speaker 1: you want to build strength there, you have a plan 333 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: to do so. Lower body you have a plan to 334 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,400 Speaker 1: do so when m is training for all of these marathons, 335 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 1: you've got a plan to do so and to get 336 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: you there. You don't go from zero to one hundred 337 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 1: in a day. You build it. And so that is 338 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: something that I've been advocating for a lot, especially with women, 339 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 1: is that. 340 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 4: We need to be. 341 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:34,040 Speaker 1: Very intentional about how we invest back into ourselves and 342 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,640 Speaker 1: how we build up our self worth. 343 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 4: So I've got some action items we love. 344 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,679 Speaker 3: An action item one planner talking to other planner. 345 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 2: Both include Google calendar invites like, I'm here with you, 346 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 2: and I love this idea of investing in the things 347 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 2: that we care about, and that we need to think 348 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 2: about ourself as a priority on the list of things 349 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 2: that we care about, which is so easy. 350 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 3: At times to kind of put by the wayside. 351 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 2: Lets slip by the wayside, this idea that oh, I 352 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 2: need to take care of myself if. 353 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 3: I want to do X, Y, and Z. 354 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 2: Well, right, that concept of putting your oxygen mask on 355 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 2: first before you can help somebody else out super super important. 356 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,439 Speaker 2: So we've got action items and I want to hear 357 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,640 Speaker 2: about that. Where do we start? Where do we start? 358 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:20,120 Speaker 3: Vanessa? 359 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,400 Speaker 1: I think the first one and the most important one, 360 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 1: is to talk to yourself and talk about yourself in 361 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 1: a way that validates your worth. So how many times 362 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 1: immediately when you wake up in the morning, look in 363 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: the mirror, you're like, you know, what is that self talk? 364 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 1: Like I had to be really honest with myself. My 365 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,919 Speaker 1: self talk was crap, you know. It was what I 366 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: was saying to myself internally and even externally, it wasn't 367 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 1: validating my worth. And so where I say you have 368 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: to start is to really start being intentional about the 369 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,680 Speaker 1: things that you are saying to yourself when people are 370 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: listening and when they aren't listening. 371 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 4: And I think an. 372 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: Easy way to start is through affirmations. And so you know, 373 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,679 Speaker 1: I am big on affirmations, but looking at yourself in 374 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: the mirror saying out loud, I am worthy. Start with 375 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 1: that one and over time it may seem really difficult 376 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: at first, but over time you're going to start believing it. 377 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 1: And therefore, when other people say things about you, especially 378 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: when they're good. 379 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 4: You'll believe it. But you won't rely on. 380 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 1: Other people to give you that feedback to know that 381 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 1: you're good, to know that you're worthy. And that's where 382 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 1: I was as well. I would rely on the affirmations 383 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,679 Speaker 1: from other people to build my self worth, and then 384 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 1: when those don't come, all of the sudden, your self 385 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 1: worth is go on. 386 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you 387 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 2: about my sponsor at AG one from Athletic Greens, a 388 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 2: long standing partner of the podcast, something that I have 389 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,399 Speaker 2: been using goodness for well over three years now. AG 390 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 2: one is my favorite because it supports energy focus, gut health, 391 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 2: digestion and immune system without. 392 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,199 Speaker 3: The need to take multiple products or pills. 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But let me make sure I say this, 403 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 2: you don't have to be a professional athlete to benefit 404 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 2: from AG one. It has so much goodness packed into 405 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,680 Speaker 2: that one scoop and it helps me feel better regularly 406 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,119 Speaker 2: in my body. 407 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 1: Now. 408 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 2: Of course, AG one has a deal for you. Head 409 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,880 Speaker 2: on over to athleticgreens dot com slash hurdle to get 410 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,120 Speaker 2: a year's supply of Vitamin D three K two as 411 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 2: well as five travel packs for free with your purchase. Again, 412 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 2: that is Athleticgreens dot com slash hurdle to get a 413 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 2: year's supply of Vitamin D absolutely free plus five free 414 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 2: travel packs to your point about the affirmations that we 415 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,120 Speaker 2: start with. I love that example that you gave. I 416 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 2: am worthy. This doesn't need to be you feeding yourself bs. 417 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 2: You don't need to say I am the most beautiful 418 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:17,640 Speaker 2: woman in a twelve block radius, or my shoulders are 419 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 2: absolutely stunning when you don't feel that way. I'm not 420 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 2: saying stare in the mirror and hype yourself up to 421 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 2: a level that feels unobtainable or fake. I'm saying, dig 422 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:33,640 Speaker 2: into your soul and be honest with yourself about what 423 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 2: you deserve and who you really are. 424 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 4: I couldn't agree more. 425 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: I had to start with actually doing it with my 426 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 1: kids because it was easier for me to when my 427 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: self worth was so low, it was easier for me 428 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,400 Speaker 1: to say, I don't want my kids to feel anything 429 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: but worthy, and I don't want them to find themselves 430 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,719 Speaker 1: as an adult and don't understand their self worth. I 431 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: want them to know it for themselves from a very 432 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 1: young age. 433 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 4: And it's so funny that kids are. 434 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 1: Like the most confident human beings ever, you know, like 435 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,640 Speaker 1: they just are, And it's like, what point in life 436 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 1: do we lose that? 437 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 3: Oh, when people start beating jerks right. 438 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 1: And so I'm like, I just wanted to just put 439 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 1: it in a capsule. So we really started to do affirmations, 440 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: and because I wanted them to do it, I was 441 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 1: doing it. And they'll make up their own but or 442 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 1: I'll stay repeat after me. But we always end with 443 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,359 Speaker 1: With my daughter, we always say I am a girl 444 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 1: and I can do anything. And with my son, he'll 445 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 1: say I am a boy and I can do anything, 446 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 1: and that I can do anything. Simple, just like you said, 447 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: simple but so effective, so effective, and all of a sudden, 448 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 1: you feel lighter and your shoulders roll back and your 449 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: head is tilted up a little higher, and you start 450 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,399 Speaker 1: to believe it day after day. So simple, I agree, 451 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 1: Keep it simple, keep it light, keep it believable. 452 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,160 Speaker 3: That first one I love. 453 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 2: Then talking to yourself, starting to build yourself up using affirmations. 454 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,199 Speaker 2: Where do we go from there? Once you have some 455 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,480 Speaker 2: sort of an affirmation process. 456 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 1: Once you have an affirmation process, the next part and 457 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,479 Speaker 1: the most important part we talked about it earlier. You 458 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 1: have to invest in yourself. That can be through time, 459 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: that can be through money. 460 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 4: You have to decide. 461 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 1: But the most important things in our life, the things 462 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:38,679 Speaker 1: that are the most valuable. We are willing to do 463 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: just about anything for right. We're willing to spend that 464 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,840 Speaker 1: higher dollar. We're willing to spend the time. When it 465 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 1: comes to ourselves, we have to acknowledge where we are. 466 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:54,000 Speaker 1: Are we investing in ourselves? Do we find worth in 467 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: ourself enough to invest in ourself? And when we can 468 00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 1: take a moment to say, how can I do this better? 469 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,400 Speaker 1: How can I invest in myself so that I get 470 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: a return on my investment? 471 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 3: Right? 472 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 1: Think about it like you think about your finances and 473 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 1: sincerely be honest with yourself. Is there an ability for 474 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: me to invest back into myself on a deeper level? 475 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 4: For me, it's time. 476 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 1: It's creating time and opportunity to just connect back to 477 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,719 Speaker 1: myself again. As a mom, as somebody who is always 478 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 1: juggling seventeen irons in the fire, it is very easy 479 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,919 Speaker 1: to put myself at the very end of the to 480 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 1: do list. You know, I'm like, I know I need 481 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 1: self care, whatever that looks like. Maybe it's reading a book, 482 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 1: maybe it's taking a bath, maybe it's working out, maybe 483 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 1: it's coffee with a friend. But I always put it 484 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, and then it's like 485 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: if I get to it, great, If not, oh well, no, 486 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: you need to be making sure that you put yourself 487 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,720 Speaker 1: at the top of your to do list. So I 488 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,240 Speaker 1: have started to at least a couple times a week 489 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: ensure that I put myself at the top of the list. 490 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: That is my accountability to ensure that I am investing 491 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,760 Speaker 1: in myself in that day. And then if you're like, 492 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 1: I don't know where where to start with investing in myself? 493 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: Do I need to you know, spend more money out myself? 494 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: Do I need to spend more time? What does it 495 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: look like? 496 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 4: I would just ask you to ask. 497 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 1: Yourself, when do you feel your best? That's where you 498 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 1: should probably pour your time, your money, your resources into 499 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 1: a little bit more and say, okay, I feel my 500 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 1: best when? So how do I execute how to invest 501 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: more time into that space? 502 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 4: So invest in yourself. 503 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 3: That's such a good tip. 504 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting and you and I had a 505 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 2: conversation about this the other day. Sometimes we get so 506 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 2: caught up in behaviors that may not be the best 507 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:03,080 Speaker 2: for us because of convenience or pattern. Right, So you 508 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 2: and I both sharing some sentiments the other day about 509 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 2: wanting to treat our bodies a little bit better. And 510 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 2: for me, when I think about when I feel my best, 511 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 2: it's when I'm not treating my body this way. But 512 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 2: I'm in this pattern of maybe going out to one 513 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 2: too many dinners and having one too many glasses of 514 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,520 Speaker 2: wine during the week at home, and just not nourishing 515 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,680 Speaker 2: my body in a way that feels right for me. 516 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 2: And so when I take that step back and get 517 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 2: okay with being a little uncomfortable being honest about the 518 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 2: behaviors that maybe aren't serving me, then I can step 519 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,720 Speaker 2: into this place where I truly am investing in myself, 520 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,960 Speaker 2: prioritizing myself, prioritizing my. 521 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 3: Own health and well being and mental health as well. 522 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think that you know, 523 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: when we ask ourselves what we're willing to make time for, 524 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 1: it is so funny. How often are us being put 525 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 1: on the list ourselves? Is not is not common. We 526 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 1: don't you know, we'll put. 527 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 4: Just about anything else on the list, but ourselves. We 528 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 4: have to learn how to do that. 529 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 1: And I think that creating even time for reflection, like 530 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: you said, m to say, Hey, I've been creating this 531 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 1: new pattern of behaviors and it's actually not contributing. You know, 532 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 1: it's not pouring back into my investing of myself. It's 533 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 1: pulling away from why did I start doing that? And 534 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: then it's it makes it a little bit easier to 535 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: make the pivot so that you can make sure that 536 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,959 Speaker 1: the habits that you are creating actually contribute to your 537 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 1: investment of yourself. 538 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, that question, the why did I start doing that? 539 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 2: Is the hard question, right It's the question that you 540 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 2: never want to answer. You don't want to get honest 541 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 2: about where things in your life may be really difficult 542 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 2: and you're trying to compensate for something. It's a feeling, 543 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 2: a question that something that we've all had to navigate. 544 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:07,240 Speaker 3: So know that. 545 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 2: Answering it isn't going to be easy all the time, 546 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 2: but answering it is the first step to getting toward 547 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 2: where you want to be and starting to do things 548 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 2: that may serve you more than the patterns that you 549 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 2: were developing. We have investing in yourself. What happens next? 550 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 4: You gotta doubt your doubts. 551 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 3: Ooh, doubt your doubts? What does that mean? 552 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 1: You got to acknowledge that you're already worthy. So for me, 553 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 1: almost immediately when I do an affirmation like I am worthy. 554 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,479 Speaker 1: You can hear this other little thought that wants to 555 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 1: combat what you were just saying, and you need to 556 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:59,360 Speaker 1: come back to that thought and say, but why so 557 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,760 Speaker 1: when you have when you have self doubt, which we 558 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: all do, it's important to question where that thought comes from. 559 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 1: And almost immediately when you start to do that, when 560 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,719 Speaker 1: you question your doubt of yourself, you realize that it 561 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 1: has no validation. It comes from no place at all. 562 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: It's just it's just a negative thought to be to 563 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 1: that we we create in our mind, but it has 564 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,640 Speaker 1: no foundation. But the more that we can challenge those thoughts, 565 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: the more that we can recognize that. 566 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 4: It's just there. 567 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,680 Speaker 1: If we choose to believe it, if we choose to 568 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 1: hold on to it, if we choose to attach to it, 569 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 1: then it's our choice. But if we choose to let 570 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 1: it go, to acknowledge that it was there and to 571 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 1: say you don't serve a purpose here anymore, this is 572 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:59,239 Speaker 1: where I'm going. I think we do ourselves, you know, 573 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: a better, We do better for ourselves in that space. 574 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,960 Speaker 4: So, for instance, we talked about where do I go 575 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:06,520 Speaker 4: from here? 576 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 3: Right? 577 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 1: And I think it's easy to say, well, you won't 578 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: be able to do that again. Why can't I do 579 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,560 Speaker 1: that again? That's where you need to doubt your doubts 580 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: and just create that habit of questioning anything that pops 581 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,520 Speaker 1: up that makes you feel not worthy. 582 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,280 Speaker 3: Doubt your doubts. 583 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:31,320 Speaker 2: Okay, so we've got three really great actionable tips already, 584 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 2: but is there something else that we can implement when 585 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,800 Speaker 2: it comes to strategically building our self worth. 586 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 1: I think the last one, and it's not last because 587 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 1: it lacks value. It's one of the most important things 588 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,200 Speaker 1: that we all can do is ensuring that you're surrounding 589 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,120 Speaker 1: yourself with the right people. 590 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,160 Speaker 4: And the right people are people. 591 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,719 Speaker 1: That are going to challenge you, they're going to support you, 592 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 1: they're going to love you, and they're going to hold 593 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:01,040 Speaker 1: you accountable. These people are going to to be the 594 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:05,920 Speaker 1: echo back to you when your self worth meaner might 595 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,600 Speaker 1: be running a little low. They'll say to you, hey girl, 596 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,680 Speaker 1: let me hold up this marror. Let me show you 597 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,319 Speaker 1: how good you look, let me show you how much 598 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,839 Speaker 1: you've done. And that has pulled me out of some 599 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 1: deep dark places is to have those people that love me, 600 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:26,000 Speaker 1: that care about me, that when I have struggled to 601 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:30,040 Speaker 1: be able to remind myself of my worth they have 602 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,279 Speaker 1: pulled me back into a space that does or they'll 603 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:37,880 Speaker 1: challenge me to keep going, they'll encourage me out of 604 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:42,120 Speaker 1: that space. And so ensuring that we have circles that 605 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 1: are healthy is really important. And I think that again, 606 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: and like all of these other things that can be 607 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 1: on it, it can be hard to be honest with 608 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 1: yourself as you self reflect. 609 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,600 Speaker 4: Relationships especially, it can be hard to let go of. 610 00:35:55,480 --> 00:36:00,880 Speaker 1: But when you realize the value of letting go of 611 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,479 Speaker 1: some of those toxic relationships so that you can create 612 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:08,520 Speaker 1: room and create space for the positive, the firming, the 613 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:13,960 Speaker 1: encouraging ones, you realize how much value add that is 614 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 1: to our self worth. 615 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,320 Speaker 2: I also think it's when you get to a place 616 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,920 Speaker 2: where you're more focused on what you do have instead 617 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,919 Speaker 2: of being maybe angry or frustrated about what you don't have. 618 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:30,799 Speaker 2: Stopping the easy comparison that can be to perhaps one 619 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,239 Speaker 2: person's social circle or a group of friends or relationship 620 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 2: that you find admirable. When you stop comparing those things 621 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:39,840 Speaker 2: to what you do have and focus on the beauty 622 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,360 Speaker 2: that you do have in your life, that kind of 623 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,759 Speaker 2: unlocks a lot of doors and perspective for you. 624 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:49,680 Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely, The grass is not always greener right right. 625 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,040 Speaker 4: The grass is greener. 626 00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,680 Speaker 1: Where you water it, and you don't have to have 627 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,680 Speaker 1: a whole lot of grass, you know. I think that 628 00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:01,839 Speaker 1: that is so true. There's such beauty and honoring and 629 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: acknowledging where you are right now today, what you have 630 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,840 Speaker 1: right now today, not compared to anybody else. This is 631 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:12,520 Speaker 1: my journey and my journey alone. And when you realize that, 632 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: when you recognize that, it gives us an ability to 633 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,839 Speaker 1: see ourselves. And when we see ourselves, we can see 634 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: our worth. 635 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,440 Speaker 3: We love it, We love self worth, and we love 636 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 3: strategically building it with the help of you, my love. 637 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,720 Speaker 2: Anything else you want to add here before I reach 638 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,279 Speaker 2: you back to your kiddos. 639 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,719 Speaker 1: Oh, I just love you and thank you so much 640 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:37,680 Speaker 1: for having me I do. I just appreciate all that 641 00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:41,640 Speaker 1: you've done, Hurtle is changing lives, and I am so 642 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,200 Speaker 1: grateful to have had this opportunity to have a conversation 643 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 1: with you. 644 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,800 Speaker 4: And I'm so grateful. 645 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: For you and for you coming to Unleashed and helping 646 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 1: us create such a special and fun and beautiful and 647 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 1: life changing experience. 648 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 4: So I hope we get to do it more. Hell yeah, 649 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:02,320 Speaker 4: hell yeah. 650 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,880 Speaker 2: Hey guys, you meet people in your circle that speak 651 00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:10,640 Speaker 2: to you this way. I'm just saying, follow along with you. 652 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 2: How they keep up with you? Give us your details. 653 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,399 Speaker 1: Yes, they can find me on ig. You can find 654 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: me at the Soulfully Spoken or Unleashed Underscore SLC if 655 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,040 Speaker 1: you wanted to see what was up with that. They 656 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 1: can also check out my website at the soulfully Spoken 657 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:29,200 Speaker 1: dot com. 658 00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 2: Beautiful I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle 659 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,719 Speaker 2: Podcast Another Hurdle Conquered. 660 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time