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Speaker 1: I think they get paralyzed by the fear of failure,

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Speaker 1: and that's the case, and they're afraid to take the

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Speaker 1: chances they might need to take to get to the

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Speaker 1: next level too. Because if they're afraid of sailing everything,

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Speaker 1: you know, operating from this point of fear instead of

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Speaker 1: going after what they want, um, then I think that

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Speaker 1: can be paralyzing in terms of getting to that next level.

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Speaker 1: This is the Reformed Sports Project, a podcast about restoring

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Speaker 1: healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through

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Speaker 1: education and advocacy. Hi, this is Nick Bonacoor from the

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Speaker 1: Reform Sports Project podcast. With me today is Lorie Hennis,

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Speaker 1: head coach of the women's cross country and track and

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Speaker 1: field programs at North Carolina State University. Hennis led the

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Speaker 1: n c state cross country team to an n c

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Speaker 1: A A national title in and was named the U

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Speaker 1: S t F C c c A National Coach of

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Speaker 1: the Year. As a former standout student athlete for the

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Speaker 1: wolf Pack herself, Laurie was an n c A champion,

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Speaker 1: a six time All American, and a three time All

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Speaker 1: a c C performer in track and field. Coach Hennis

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Speaker 1: and I discuss how kids can learn to develop intrinsic motivation,

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Speaker 1: how fair or failure often prevents athletes from getting to

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Speaker 1: the next level, and the importance of teaching athletes to

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Speaker 1: take responsibility for their goals. Man, I am once again

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Speaker 1: fired up. I have another phenomenal guest. She has just

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Speaker 1: unbelievable amounts of experience from many different angles. I can

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Speaker 1: wait to dig in whether or just had a ridiculous

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Speaker 1: year winning the cross country national championship. The head coach

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Speaker 1: at the cross country and Track and Field women's track

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Speaker 1: and field from NC State University of the wolf Pack.

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Speaker 1: I'm throwing off the wolf Pack sign on my hand

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Speaker 1: right now. So coach Laurie Hennis, coach, thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for hopping on. Yeah, thanks for having me so

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Speaker 1: coming off of a national title, I mean, like, what

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Speaker 1: is that real quick? Like, what's how's that feel? Awesome? Uh?

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Speaker 1: This is just an amazing group of women. You know,

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Speaker 1: with the kind of COVID extraligibility. We we had a

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Speaker 1: good number of seniors on the team, and that that

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Speaker 1: has been their goal for the you know, their whole career,

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Speaker 1: and so it's just really awesome to see them be

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Speaker 1: able to accomplish that. You know, we finished second, you know,

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Speaker 1: last year, and so I think a lot of that

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Speaker 1: was kind of a build to this, UM, and so

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Speaker 1: it was just awesome to see them our top five,

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Speaker 1: which is how you you know, the scoring and cross

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Speaker 1: country works. Just really have um a great day all

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Speaker 1: at the same time. Amazing, amazing. I love it. UM.

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Speaker 1: I'm really glad to be able to speak with you,

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Speaker 1: and we'll kind of to get into that a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but we're talking obviously youth sports athletic development. Here is

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Speaker 1: something you know a lot about. Uh, you're obviously a

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Speaker 1: sports parent, as we just touched on, and coach kind

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Speaker 1: of where I want to and I will tell you

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Speaker 1: this is I think one of my one of my

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Speaker 1: first interviews with I interviewed Steve magnus UM. But other

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Speaker 1: than that, I have very limited and I like to run. Coach,

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Speaker 1: I run like I try to run myself, like twenty

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Speaker 1: two to twenty five miles a week. I'm terrible, UM,

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Speaker 1: but it keeps me in good shape. I've actually grown

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Speaker 1: customed to it and I love it. So just tell

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Speaker 1: me this coach. You know, my older boys wrestle, and

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Speaker 1: I'm bringing this up because I've never wrestled a day

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Speaker 1: in my life, but I have found and wrestling coaches

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Speaker 1: have told me, and they also recommend to some kids

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Speaker 1: run cross country in the off season. There's a major

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Speaker 1: correlation in the mental training or the mental edge that

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Speaker 1: you get with cross country and on the wrestling mat.

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Speaker 1: You know, completely different animals, but there's something in the

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Speaker 1: mental that I've been told. Can you talk about the crossover?

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Speaker 1: A lot of people out there are questioning whether or

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Speaker 1: not their kids should specialize early at young ages or

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Speaker 1: you know, dabble in different sports and be diversified. Every

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Speaker 1: coach I speak which says they love multi sport athletes,

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Speaker 1: love kids that dabble in different things. Can you talk

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Speaker 1: about crossover in sports? Maybe from your own experience as

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Speaker 1: a coach, as an athlete as well, and also your daughter. Sure, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think that's an interesting comparison you made

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Speaker 1: between wrestling and cross country there. I think there are

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Speaker 1: kind of those sports are Director of program Raleig Geiger,

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Speaker 1: who's been here forever, likes to say, you know, you

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Speaker 1: play soccer, you play basketball, you play football. You don't

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Speaker 1: play cross country or wrestling really or swimming. You know,

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Speaker 1: some of those sports where you have the individual aspect. UM.

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Speaker 1: I think it's awesome because there's like you know, personal

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Speaker 1: accountability and those things. But UM, I think it's really

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Speaker 1: great to dabble in both types of sports, you know,

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Speaker 1: UM much of my daughter certainly did, and we find

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Speaker 1: a lot of our high level um plates. I think

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Speaker 1: of the trying to think of the top five in

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Speaker 1: that national championship team, UM, one played basketball into high school,

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Speaker 1: two played soccer, UM. And so I think I love

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Speaker 1: I love finding people that really got the team aspect,

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Speaker 1: you know, not to see individual sport part of play

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Speaker 1: cross country, your track as as a younger athletes, and

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Speaker 1: then also you know, dabbled like you said, or had

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Speaker 1: experience in a little bit more individual sportsman cross country.

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Speaker 1: At the end of the day, like your top five

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Speaker 1: have to run well in the same day to be successful.

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Speaker 1: So it's very much a team sport. But you know,

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Speaker 1: you're not passing the ball to anyone or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: It's you have to get your individual performance at a

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Speaker 1: certain level for the team to do well. So I

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Speaker 1: think kind of that crossover between sports is awesome for

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Speaker 1: people to have experience UM on both ends of that spectrum.

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Speaker 1: That's a great point that person I actually had that

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Speaker 1: brought up because I have actually made you know, plenty

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Speaker 1: of posts on social media and that that word you said,

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Speaker 1: play wrestling or play obviously that that doesn't make any

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Speaker 1: you know, doesn't make any sense. You either wrestle or

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Speaker 1: you run cross country, but you play basketball, you play

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Speaker 1: baseball and talk to coaches who love there's like a

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Speaker 1: major correlation between soccer players and also basketball, Like it's

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Speaker 1: almost the same sport, just different field, different core, different ball,

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Speaker 1: But you're the spatial awareness, the movement um. You know.

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Speaker 1: You brought up the word accountability, and I have yet

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Speaker 1: to find a sport, you know, from my own experience

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Speaker 1: as a sports parent that brings up the accountability piece

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Speaker 1: as much as wrestling the mental I see the preparation

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Speaker 1: that goes into the discipline, that goes into the diet

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Speaker 1: and all of these things. With wrestling, I would imagine

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Speaker 1: there's gotta be a lot of similarities in cross country.

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Speaker 1: I would love it if you can kind of dig

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Speaker 1: into that and how some of these kids out there

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Speaker 1: and parents, like a lot of times we hold our

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Speaker 1: kids hands, you know, we don't let them become accountable

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Speaker 1: on their own. How much of sport comes from intrinsic motivation.

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Speaker 1: Is where I'm going with this coach that that kids

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Speaker 1: do they can they learn that or is that something

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Speaker 1: that can be taught. I definitely think they can learn that,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I think the key to them learning

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Speaker 1: that is is to, you know, allow them to sail

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Speaker 1: and figure out, you know, how how to move on

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Speaker 1: from that and how to get better. Um. I think

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Speaker 1: as a parent hardest thing to do this is, you know,

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Speaker 1: I coached for a lot longer than I was a

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Speaker 1: parent of a of an athlete at a high level,

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Speaker 1: and as a parent, it's so hard to let your

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Speaker 1: child fail to see that something that they're doing is

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Speaker 1: not going to lead to the result that they want.

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Speaker 1: But I think it's way too easy to step in

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Speaker 1: and fix it. And I don't I don't even think

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Speaker 1: that's you know, unique to sports. I think in this

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Speaker 1: current climate, you know, when we're recruiting and parents academically

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Speaker 1: are so worried about the kids. A kid getting a

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Speaker 1: B you're not getting the SAP score they need to

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Speaker 1: get into a certain school, and you just step in

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Speaker 1: and you and you fix this, and then we get

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Speaker 1: athletes at the college level who just don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do when they get a b for the first time.

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Speaker 1: And I think that it's it's it's super hard for

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Speaker 1: parents to do, but I think stepping back and letting,

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Speaker 1: you know, your child figure out how to how to

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Speaker 1: manage things on their own. And I don't say that

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Speaker 1: in terms of if there's something that's being done it's

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Speaker 1: going to cause your child to get hurt or it's dangerous. Certainly,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying ignore, you know, don't step

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Speaker 1: them for something like that, but I say that that

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Speaker 1: accountability piece. You know, running at a high level, there's

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Speaker 1: so many other things that go into it. Wrestling, I

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Speaker 1: believe is similar. Um. And it's like, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: all these things. I mean, diet, but that that I

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Speaker 1: feel like, sleep, recovery, those things are the most important

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Speaker 1: at a really high level. It's something that a lot

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Speaker 1: of younger athletes are missing to this rush to take

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Speaker 1: as many AP courses as you can and um, and

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Speaker 1: you know, do all these things in high school. And

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Speaker 1: you know, to me, you go to college to go

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Speaker 1: to college, So don't try to do that in high

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Speaker 1: school or beforehand or specialize at that level. One of

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Speaker 1: the things my daughter who want an NC double a

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Speaker 1: title last year. It would frustrate me as a parent.

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Speaker 1: She would say, Mom, I'm not going to do everything

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Speaker 1: right yet, I want to leave myself room to uh

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Speaker 1: to make this the next thing I do so I

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Speaker 1: can reach the next level. And sometimes it was frustrating

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Speaker 1: because of your sixteen seventeen asking and like you need

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Speaker 1: sleep more, you need dee better, you see those things.

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Speaker 1: But um, you know, she developed that intrinsic motivation, um,

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Speaker 1: and it was really kind of a team thing. I

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Speaker 1: think you get on these high level teams and um,

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Speaker 1: you want to perform well for other people, for something

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Speaker 1: bigger than yourself. And so I think that where you know,

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Speaker 1: you you find people that are motivated by that doing

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Speaker 1: something bigger than just themselves or individually, and that's how

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Speaker 1: you have success at this level. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I answered your question. I kind of talked around a

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Speaker 1: lot of things there, but hopefully that kind of answered it.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting because I don't know if there is you know,

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Speaker 1: one of the things. Everyone has their own ideology. Most importantly,

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Speaker 1: everyone has their own experience, you know, And I'm listening

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Speaker 1: to it, I'm thinking, as you're talking, I'm going, you know,

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Speaker 1: my older son's gonna wrestle in college. But the case

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Speaker 1: in point you brought up the academic piece ofven. We're

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Speaker 1: talking about accountability. And you know, my wife and I

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Speaker 1: try at times, each kids a little bit different. We

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Speaker 1: have six children, um, and and each kids a little different, right,

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Speaker 1: and they all fortunately we're very lucky, they're there, for

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Speaker 1: the most part, on a very good path. Well, my

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Speaker 1: older son, I'm not I'm gonna blow up spot here

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Speaker 1: a little bit. You know, he's doing well in the class.

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Speaker 1: He actually is taking a college course, right, and he's

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Speaker 1: doing well with it. But the problem is he struggles

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Speaker 1: with a little attention deficit disorder, all right. And what

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Speaker 1: I mean by that is it's something he's had and

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Speaker 1: he has to work through it, and it takes effort.

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Speaker 1: You know, where is it that takes effort for a

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Speaker 1: couple of my other kids to like be be willing

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Speaker 1: to get into the weight room and do certain other things.

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Speaker 1: He is very easy in that regard, but when it

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Speaker 1: comes to being organized, he at times has struggled, you know,

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Speaker 1: and we've kind of held his hand a little probably

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Speaker 1: a little bit too long. The one thing this college

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Speaker 1: course has done is it given him the freedom. It's

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Speaker 1: given him the freedom, meaning to hey, your paper is

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Speaker 1: not do until later on. So what does he do?

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Speaker 1: He procrastinates And the teachers have been very flexible with

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Speaker 1: handing in late work, probably because of the COVID circumstances.

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Speaker 1: So you know, So with that said, um, he's a

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Speaker 1: high school student taking a college course. But his grades

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Speaker 1: and all of exams are eighties and eighty eights, and

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Speaker 1: you know, he's doing very well, but there's one portion

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Speaker 1: of it that requires individual work on his own time.

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Speaker 1: Five or six of the assignments for late and then

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Speaker 1: he decided he made a conscious decision because his grade

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Speaker 1: was like a high beat. He had an assignment to

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Speaker 1: like a week and a half ago, and he had

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Speaker 1: other things going on. He just said, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do it, right, He made a contient.

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Speaker 1: We didn't know this, and then he made a conscious

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Speaker 1: decision to basically just own a zero, not knowing how

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Speaker 1: much that was gonna affect his grade. And what I

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Speaker 1: do it pull it onto a seven right now it's

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Speaker 1: like a seventy nine point whatever. And he's like, I

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Speaker 1: can't believe it now. My wife and I want to

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Speaker 1: get mad, but that's the natural consequence. Like what do

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Speaker 1: we you're you're you're almost seventeen years old. My point

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Speaker 1: is we have to take the handcuffs off. Is that?

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Speaker 1: Can you talk about that like as because it is

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Speaker 1: hard to do. Yeah, and you hit the exact words

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Speaker 1: I didn't bring up the first time. Natural consequences. And

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Speaker 1: you know, you read parenting books and stuff as I did,

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Speaker 1: and they all tell you, you know, to kind of

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Speaker 1: let the natural consequences play out. And like you said,

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Speaker 1: with the COVID situation and all this going on right now,

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Speaker 1: sometimes the natural consequences you assume are going to be

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Speaker 1: there aren't because people are so lenient, and then you

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Speaker 1: get into the situation where maybe somebody isn't. But you know,

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Speaker 1: those are the kind of decisions um students and athletes

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Speaker 1: need to make in college. You know, sometimes everything is

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Speaker 1: hard and you do make a decision to do that,

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Speaker 1: and you have to understand what the consequences are going

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Speaker 1: to be. Or you know, you've got a national championship

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Speaker 1: coming up, and you decide that you're going to get

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Speaker 1: your eight or nine hours of sleep, and maybe you

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Speaker 1: take a bee on a paper that you would have

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Speaker 1: liked to have gotten an A on, but you have

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Speaker 1: to make this decision between those two things. And I

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Speaker 1: say so many, UM, young athletes are kind of paralyzed

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Speaker 1: by the inability to make those choices or understand what

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Speaker 1: the consequences are going to be. And you know, we

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Speaker 1: just talked to our athletes all the time. I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, you certainly you want your We want our

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Speaker 1: athletes to do the best that they can in the classroom,

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Speaker 1: and as a parent, I want my kids to do that.

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Speaker 1: But one of the things we say all the times, like,

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Speaker 1: what's going to happen if you get a Your parents

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Speaker 1: are still gonna love you, You're still gonna be fine.

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Speaker 1: You know, they're like paralyzed by this, Oh, now, what's

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Speaker 1: going to happen if I if I fail? And I

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Speaker 1: think they get paralyzed by the fear of failure. And

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Speaker 1: if that's the case and they're afraid to take the

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Speaker 1: chances they might need to take to get into the

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Speaker 1: next level too, because if they're afraid of failing everything,

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Speaker 1: and you know, operating from this point of fear instead

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Speaker 1: of going after what they want, UM, then I think

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Speaker 1: that can be paralyzing in terms of getting to that

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Speaker 1: next level. What a great point you just you almost

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Speaker 1: made me feel like I'm a better parent than I

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Speaker 1: probably am because we But it's it's true, it really is.

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Speaker 1: There's no money. How many books you read or how

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Speaker 1: many experiences you go through, you always feel like your

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Speaker 1: second guests your decisions. But at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: there's really not much control I have over you know,

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Speaker 1: the decision making of a sixteen seven. You hope you

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Speaker 1: prepare them. And I think that's where I want to

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Speaker 1: get into and why I love getting into these conversations.

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Speaker 1: You know, that's the old adage, you know, prepare the

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Speaker 1: kids for the path, don't prepare the path to the kids.

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Speaker 1: And and there's so many circumstances now where you know,

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Speaker 1: and I'm a baseball background where so and so's ten

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Speaker 1: year old not starting shortstop on his team, So mom

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Speaker 1: or Dad just go ahead and start their own team, right,

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Speaker 1: And that is like so prevalent, And you can honestly

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Speaker 1: trace that potentially and say that's why there's a transfer

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Speaker 1: portal today? Can you talk about you know, why it's

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Speaker 1: so critical to allow not just from an athletic standpoint,

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Speaker 1: but and I know we're kind of touching on it now,

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Speaker 1: but kind of digging more about why the decision making.

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Speaker 1: Why listen, hey you're not starting on this team instead

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Speaker 1: of hey, let's go start Auntie. Let's let's work through

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Speaker 1: that and maybe become more versatile. Maybe there's a different position,

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Speaker 1: like let's let's problem solve. Aren't these life lessons that

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Speaker 1: we can extract from sports and apply in the real world, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure. And one of the things, like in the

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Speaker 1: team sports situation we talk about two is everybody has

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Speaker 1: a role, and those roles can be different at different times,

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Speaker 1: you know. And so because we we can only line

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Speaker 1: up seven people and we have a roster of almost twenty,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, we lined up different people at

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Speaker 1: our regional meet and our national meet, which you know,

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Speaker 1: not a lot of programs did. We were lucky, fortunate

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Speaker 1: and lucky, I think, you know, to have that kind

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Speaker 1: of depth to do that. But we build that, and

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Speaker 1: we build that by you know, hopefully talking a lot

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Speaker 1: about you know, some people's role at this point is

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Speaker 1: to be an All American and finish in the top

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Speaker 1: ten and nationals and that's how we're gonna win. But

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Speaker 1: you know, some people's roll right now is to help

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Speaker 1: people get better in workouts and make sure that they're

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Speaker 1: you know, making that progress to be in that position

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Speaker 1: in a year or so. But um, I think I

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Speaker 1: feel like I was involved in new sports, you know

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Speaker 1: along obviously a long time ago, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: that patience is people have lost kind of that ability

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Speaker 1: to be patient and figure out what they need to

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Speaker 1: do to be successful in the situation there in. But

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't I don't want to get to

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Speaker 1: where it sounds that we're blaming kids for jumping around too.

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously coaches do. So people have to find

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Speaker 1: the best situation for them. You know, sometimes you are

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Speaker 1: in a situation that stuck for you. But UM, I

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Speaker 1: think that you know, being able to step back and say, like,

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Speaker 1: that's not my role right now, but this is what

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Speaker 1: my goals are, and that what do I need to

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Speaker 1: do to get there is something that yeah, not a

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Speaker 1: lot of UM athletes are necessarily equipped with. For instance, Ellie,

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Speaker 1: my oldest daughter, who who did win the national title, Like,

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Speaker 1: she played youth soccer for a long time and she

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Speaker 1: was getting close to that classic level before she switched

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Speaker 1: over to running, And UM, I remember sitting in the

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Speaker 1: stands with parents and they're like, don't you think she's

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Speaker 1: playing the wrong position. Don't you think she should be

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Speaker 1: doing this? Don't you think that? And I'm kind of like,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna try to do my best to just

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Speaker 1: sit here and cheer. But they thought because I was coaching,

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Speaker 1: but I would be a good person to ask those

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Speaker 1: questions too, And I was kind of like the opposite.

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Speaker 1: You know, just go in there and get really fit,

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Speaker 1: get work on your skills, and you know, when they

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Speaker 1: put you into the best you can and go from there.

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Speaker 1: So I think it is interesting that and I'm sure

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Speaker 1: that rubs off on the on the students as well.

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Speaker 1: You know, when parents are going home saying like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're playing the wrong position or they're not playing you

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Speaker 1: enough for those kind of things, and um, I think

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Speaker 1: that's tough, you know that doesn't The thing about our

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Speaker 1: sport is the number as are so obvious. It's it's

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Speaker 1: you know, you ends up being most of the time

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Speaker 1: fairly obvious. Who gets the playing time right? As lou

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Speaker 1: you would call it, because it's it's there's no um,

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Speaker 1: the coach's decision on him running better. It's its head

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Speaker 1: to head when we return, Coach Hennis and I talked

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Speaker 1: about accountability and the importance of striving to control the process,

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Speaker 1: not the outcome. Welcome back where Coach Hennis and I

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Speaker 1: left off. We were about to discuss responsibility and how

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Speaker 1: prioritizing fun often leads to winning. I want to circle back.

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Speaker 1: You mentioned your perspective, and I think that is fascinating.

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Speaker 1: I feel the same way. And I've heard so many

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Speaker 1: coaches at your level, obviously high level Power five, Division

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Speaker 1: one coaches say when they're at their kids events, whatever

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Speaker 1: sport it is, people almost look to them like hey,

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Speaker 1: and they tend to be the quietest ones. Remember there

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Speaker 1: was a very famous and I interviewed Frank Martin, right,

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Speaker 1: head men's basketball coach at South Carolina. You may have

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Speaker 1: seen the video. It was a few years ago. He

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Speaker 1: went on a rant in an interview how passionate he

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Speaker 1: was with with sports parents or whomever, like getting on

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Speaker 1: referees at basket youth basketball games like you know, just

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Speaker 1: being and it happens all the time, you know, and

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Speaker 1: and tearing down the coaches all over the referees. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's a shortage in referees, in umpires and things like that.

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Speaker 1: And I don't want to say, like you said, I

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Speaker 1: want to sit there and tear down or blame parents

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Speaker 1: and all that. But there are elements where people are,

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Speaker 1: you know, don't you think this, Don't you think that

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Speaker 1: coach is making a bad decision? Here you are someone

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Speaker 1: who's paid and a professional is taking a step back

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Speaker 1: and just being quiet. Why is that? Is it? Clearly

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Speaker 1: you have some sort of you know, knowing of what

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Speaker 1: that other you know that youth coaches going through. Why

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Speaker 1: would you, as a coach at the highest level feel

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Speaker 1: the need or want to just step back and let

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Speaker 1: your kid be coached by whomever is leading the way. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I mean I think it's just because once

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Speaker 1: you've done this at this level for a long time,

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Speaker 1: you can see that that's um that the kids who

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Speaker 1: you know come to this level either having a tendency

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Speaker 1: to again it's it's at least in our sports are

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Speaker 1: to blame something else, right, But but it's not really

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Speaker 1: because you can say my training was wrong, doesn't know

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Speaker 1: what they're doing kind of thing. And and it's back

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Speaker 1: to that accountability thing. I think like at some point

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Speaker 1: you have to take responsibility for the level that you

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Speaker 1: get to and certainly there are things that can happen

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Speaker 1: that can be out of your control, right and and

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Speaker 1: so you know, you don't sometimes injuries or just injuries

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Speaker 1: and nobody necessarily cause them, and and and so you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes things do happen out of the athletes control. But

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Speaker 1: I think as a coach at this level, UM, we

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Speaker 1: want people who, you know, if they don't have the

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Speaker 1: outcome they want, they just want to learn from it

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Speaker 1: and what can I do better? And how can I

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Speaker 1: get there? And so I think that you know, allowing

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Speaker 1: that to happen with use athletes to trying to figure

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Speaker 1: it out on their own. And again for really young kids,

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Speaker 1: they can't figure a lot of that stuff out on

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Speaker 1: their own. I understand that, and trying to help um,

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Speaker 1: you know, really young athletes navigate through that. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: it's a little bit different. But as they get older,

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Speaker 1: I think that you know, just trying to help your

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Speaker 1: own children or use athletes you know at that level

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Speaker 1: figure out what do I need to do to get better?

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Speaker 1: Probad of it depends on goals to you know, we

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Speaker 1: really talk to our athletes were at this in this

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Speaker 1: unique position where some of them and my daughter is

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Speaker 1: doing now want to run professionally and that's their goal.

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Speaker 1: Their goal is I want to be great when a

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Speaker 1: twenty five and try to make Olympic teams. And that's

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Speaker 1: a little bit different goal than um, you know, somebody

430
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,879
Speaker 1: who wants to run in college at a high level

431
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,119
Speaker 1: but then wants to go onto their professional career right away. Like,

432
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,040
Speaker 1: just as a coach, I might do something different with

433
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 1: those two people because I want to leave enough room

434
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 1: for someone whose goal is to you know, try to

435
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 1: make the Olympic human their twenty five, to train harder

436
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 1: and do more things. And so I think that's even

437
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 1: true at a younger level. You know, what is the

438
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 1: goal and what level are we playing at? You know,

439
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,679
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes the way you approach some of

440
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 1: the training can be different. Um and you know, obviously

441
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, ten eleven year olds don't

442
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 1: know what their goals are. But as they get older,

443
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,359
Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, making sure that you're not

444
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: projecting your goals onto either your kids or youth athletes,

445
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 1: like letting them come into what what do they want

446
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,160
Speaker 1: out of the sport. I mean, I think everyone should

447
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 1: be trying to have fun with this and learn from it,

448
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 1: that's what sports are for everyone, but you know, for

449
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,240
Speaker 1: some people it might be a career and for some

450
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,920
Speaker 1: people that's not what their goals are at all. And

451
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 1: and being honest with somebody about whether that seems like

452
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 1: a realistical I think that's one of my jobs collegiately

453
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,639
Speaker 1: as a coach, like is it's realistic? And if it is,

454
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,920
Speaker 1: how can we get there? But you know, figuring out

455
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,800
Speaker 1: what you're trying to get out of it too. I mean,

456
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 1: obviously for most younger athletes, I think, you know, learning

457
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,439
Speaker 1: these life lessons and having found are the most important things,

458
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,879
Speaker 1: and then after that, you know, taking responsibility for what

459
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 1: your goals are and what level you want to get to.

460
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 1: I watched the fascinating biography last night or you know

461
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,239
Speaker 1: whatever I was on demand about Sarah Blakeley found her

462
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 1: up spanks, you know, one of the first women billionaires,

463
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 1: um And she was talking about her childhood and her

464
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 1: dad used to sit around the dinner table and literally

465
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 1: like he was an eternal optimist, it sounds like, and

466
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,639
Speaker 1: literally speak to the kids about failing, like, hey, what

467
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 1: did you fail at today? You know, like that's where

468
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 1: you're gonna grow, Like from the time they were little,

469
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 1: and I'm listening to you, going, how do we educate

470
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 1: parents to let them know that it's okay to fail,

471
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,120
Speaker 1: you know, in a positive way, like to use that

472
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 1: because a lot of times and I've been guilty of this, coach,

473
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 1: you know, years ago, you start valuing your own worth

474
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 1: as up here in based on your kids performance in

475
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,439
Speaker 1: a sport. Sometimes like, God, I must suck as a

476
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 1: parent because my kids are struck out three times. I mean,

477
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,439
Speaker 1: it sounds crazy, but it's not um. And then you

478
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,639
Speaker 1: project that anger, agitation, frustration onto your kid and I

479
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 1: think that's why people get get frustrated. So how do

480
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,879
Speaker 1: we educate parents? What are I guess a piece of

481
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 1: advice that you say, Hey, parents, it's okay to let

482
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 1: your kids fail. You know, why is that so vital?

483
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 1: And why should we as parents, you know, give the

484
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 1: kids the freedom to do that? Well, I think eventually,

485
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 1: at at some level that there's always going to be

486
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 1: somebody who's more talented or at a higher level, Like

487
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,360
Speaker 1: that's just going to happen. In my opinion, if if

488
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,920
Speaker 1: athletes don't realize that kind of younger, that not everything

489
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,960
Speaker 1: is going to be perfect. This is a long road

490
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 1: if you want to do sport for a long time

491
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 1: or anything really and um, that you're going to have

492
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 1: these setbacks and um. One of the things we always

493
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 1: say to athletes is that you can't control everything, but

494
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 1: you can control your response to it. And so I

495
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 1: think we just try to preach that early. And I

496
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 1: think that's a piece of advice for you know, for

497
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,520
Speaker 1: younger athletes, like any sports where a rough call might

498
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 1: not be great, or you might not be getting the

499
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 1: playing time you seem to deserve. You can't control everything,

500
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 1: you can control your response to it. And learning that

501
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 1: young is huge, you know. Um, you know, for us,

502
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: this was a team that was really hard to make individually,

503
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 1: and there are people coming into the season saying like,

504
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 1: I can't control how other people are going to run

505
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 1: or what they're going to do, but I can control

506
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 1: what I'm going to do, and that's that's all I

507
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 1: can do, and being okay with I'm controlling everything I

508
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 1: can control. I can't always control the outcome, but I

509
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: can control the process, and I can control my reaction

510
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 1: to what happens to me. I think it is something

511
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 1: that's huge to learn and actually is really evident in

512
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 1: the people at the highest level. I don't think the

513
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 1: people that get to the highest level get them without

514
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 1: realizing that. So I think it's something that the earlier

515
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: people can realize that the better and and the other

516
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: thing we always say is like to me, and I

517
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 1: think this is very true and youth athletics, it's very true.

518
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: Even at our level. You know, people say winning is fun,

519
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 1: and it is, and then it's fun to win a

520
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 1: national title. But I think we win because we have fun.

521
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 1: I think you start with that. You want people to

522
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 1: really truly enjoy being around each other doing something bigger

523
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 1: than themselves. Those are the teams that win. They win

524
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 1: because of that, I think, And so fostering that at

525
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 1: a young age, people understanding that when they get to

526
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: the next level, I think is huge. Coach and I

527
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: love that. It's a great way to end. I cannot

528
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: thank you enough. Lori Hanni's head cross country coach women's

529
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: track and field NC State University the wolf Pack a

530
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 1: CC coach. Where can they find you? You know, parents, kids,

531
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 1: they want to they want to come run for the

532
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 1: wolf Pack. You know, what, what do they got to do?

533
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 1: How can they connect with you? Well, you know, we

534
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 1: don't really do any of that until like you know,

535
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 1: after sophomore year. But um, you know, I'm not one

536
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 1: of the big social media people. I know I should

537
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: do more of it. Um, But they get on our website,

538
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 1: you know, go path. We have questionnaires to fill out

539
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: in my email and contact is all on there. So

540
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 1: definitely people can reach out and find out that we

541
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: have some standards up there, what we normally look for

542
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 1: for athletes coming into the program and what exactly what

543
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 1: are those standards? Real quick, if you're a minute and

544
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 1: a half, what are you looking for the kids that

545
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: want to have the wolf Pack on the radar their

546
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 1: sophomores and above um, what are things that you're looking for? Well,

547
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: we have we know, we have marks up there in

548
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 1: each event, but beyond that we you know, when I

549
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 1: when I'm recruiting, Um, certainly we have to look at

550
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 1: the marks. And again, like we said, in certain supports,

551
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: those are out there and it's easy to look at

552
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 1: who can be competitive at this level. But we want

553
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: good students who love the sport and have a lot

554
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: of fun with it and want to be a good teammate.

555
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: I love it, Coach Hennis the best. This is awesome.

556
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,159
Speaker 1: I cannot thank you enough for coming on. This has

557
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: been truly in honor. Well, that's a great thing you've

558
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: got going on here, so thanks for having me. That's

559
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: Lori Hannis, head women's cross country and track and field

560
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 1: coach at NC State University. Thanks for listening to the

561
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: Reform Sports Project podcast dom Nick Bonicore and our goal

562
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 1: is to restore a healthy balance and perspective in all

563
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 1: areas of sports through education and advocacy. For updates, please

564
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or check out

565
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 1: our website by searching for the Reform Sports Project