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Speaker 1: Hi there, and welcome back to another new episode of

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Speaker 1: Couch Talks. My name is Kat and I'm the host.

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Speaker 1: If your new couch Talks is the special bonus episode

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Speaker 1: of You Need Therapy where I can't answer questions that

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Speaker 1: you guys send into me, and you can send those

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Speaker 1: questions into Catherine at You Need Therapy podcast dot com.

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Speaker 1: Anybody can send them. You can send them ever you want,

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Speaker 1: and hopefully maybe one day I will answer your question.

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Speaker 1: Before we get into today's episode, quick reminder that this

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Speaker 1: is not therapy, although I am a therapist now. While yes,

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Speaker 1: usually we do answer a question that you guys send

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Speaker 1: into me, I thought today we would take some time

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Speaker 1: to talk about something that has been on my mind. Instead.

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Speaker 1: For some of you, you may know if you fall

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Speaker 1: on me on Instagram, that I finally got COVID and

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Speaker 1: that is one of the reasons that I ended up

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Speaker 1: putting out an episode that came out last year on Monday,

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Speaker 1: which if you haven't listened to that, please go listen

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Speaker 1: to it. It's with Hannah Brencher. She's an amazing author.

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Speaker 1: She also has a really awesome Instagram account, so I'd

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Speaker 1: recommend following her at Hannah Brencher. But it's a really

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Speaker 1: good episode about mental health and depression and how it

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Speaker 1: doesn't actually define who you are and you are somebody

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Speaker 1: outside of that. So good. I cannot recommend listening to

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Speaker 1: her speak enough. However, that's one of the reasons why

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Speaker 1: that happened. I had to change some things. I got COVID.

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Speaker 1: I really thought I was gonna, you know, get away

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Speaker 1: from it because it's been two years and I never

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Speaker 1: got it, and I had the vaccine and I got

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Speaker 1: a booster, and you know, it caught up. It got me,

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Speaker 1: It got me. Luckily, my case was pretty mild. It

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Speaker 1: felt like I had a cold, and I really just

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Speaker 1: thought that I had a cold, but just in case,

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Speaker 1: I took multiple tests and eventually I tested positive. The

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Speaker 1: worst thing was I lost my taste and smell. But

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Speaker 1: I'm already starting to get that back, so I don't

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Speaker 1: know how much of that was from the cold. Although

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Speaker 1: the day that I lost it completely, the first day,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it was so sad. I'll tell you

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Speaker 1: how I lost it or how I found out I

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Speaker 1: lost it. I don't know what day it was, but

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Speaker 1: I just was like feeling really lonely and all my

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Speaker 1: friends were hanging out and one of them had dropped

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Speaker 1: some stuff off and I was like, oh, what are

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Speaker 1: you guys doing, and they're like, oh, we ordered Crumble

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Speaker 1: and we're going to go to so and so's house.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I want to feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm with you guys, So I ordered Crumble for myself.

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Speaker 1: Crumble cookies. If you have not had Crumble cookies, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, it's you need to do that immediately. They

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Speaker 1: deliver these huge warm cookies that and the flavors are

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Speaker 1: different every single week, and they deliver them to your

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Speaker 1: house warm. It's amazing. But I got them delivered. They

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Speaker 1: came like pretty fast, and I was so excited, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm eating these before I eat dinner.

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Speaker 1: And I sat down and opened the box and I

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Speaker 1: took a bite out of one and I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: these are bland this week. This is disappointing. And I

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Speaker 1: like up taking bites out of different ones and I

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Speaker 1: was like these all tastes like nothing, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I can't taste anything. So then I

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Speaker 1: started like going around and smelling things and I had

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Speaker 1: just gotten a bunch of these Anthropology candles delivered. Couldn't

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Speaker 1: smell them at all. I mean, it was so weird.

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Speaker 1: I brushed my teeth and you couldn't I couldn't taste

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Speaker 1: the tooth. It was so weird. And at first I

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Speaker 1: thought that it was part of like maybe it was

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Speaker 1: like the cold that I had. But the day that

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Speaker 1: I lost my smell and taste completely, that day, my

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Speaker 1: like cold symptoms had subsided and I really just was tired.

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Speaker 1: I really wasn't that congested, so I was like, this

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Speaker 1: is so weird. Luckily, I'm starting to get some of

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Speaker 1: that back, and I can taste, it's just like really faint,

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Speaker 1: and I can smell like really strong things. I can

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Speaker 1: smell tequila. I can smell that because I opened up

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Speaker 1: the bottle to see and I can. I can definitely

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Speaker 1: spell no polish. That's starting to already come back after

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Speaker 1: a couple of days, So that's great. I'm very happy

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Speaker 1: about that. Anyway, that that's not really what I wanted

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Speaker 1: to talk about today. I don't really want to talk

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Speaker 1: about code experience. And I will say I really did

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Speaker 1: not have that bad of an experience. Was it was

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Speaker 1: a mild case and I live alone, so I was

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Speaker 1: able to move around my house and do whatever I

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Speaker 1: want and not have the anxiety of getting Sunday. I

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Speaker 1: was sick, so that was awesome. However, I did feel

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Speaker 1: a little frustrated and like annoyed and just like you know,

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Speaker 1: like I feel fine, I feel like I just have

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Speaker 1: a cold, and a cold that I normally pre COVID

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Speaker 1: would like work straight through. Like I wouldn't take a

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Speaker 1: day off work. I would I might take a rest

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Speaker 1: day from working out, but like I would usually just

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Speaker 1: go along with my life as I normally would. And

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Speaker 1: so what I want to actually talk about today is

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Speaker 1: why rest is so hard, because that was the hardest

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Speaker 1: part about this whole experience, is resting and like doing

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Speaker 1: nothing and laying down and and not working out even

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Speaker 1: just because I was bored. And now this won't apply

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Speaker 1: to everyone personally, but everybody at least knows somebody who

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Speaker 1: struggles with take team breaks um and taking time off

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Speaker 1: and or sleeping in or skipping a workout or skipping

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Speaker 1: a work day and taking a death work. We all

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Speaker 1: know those people, even if you were not one of

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Speaker 1: those people. And I think there are certain reasons that

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Speaker 1: certain people are this way. I think that not everybody

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Speaker 1: is going to resonate with what I'm going to say,

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Speaker 1: but I do want to talk about one specific reason,

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Speaker 1: and it's one that I resonate with a lot. I

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Speaker 1: know some people also struggle with this because of this,

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Speaker 1: so I thought we would just talk about it for

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Speaker 1: a second. It's the idea that to deserve or need rest,

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Speaker 1: something has to be like super serious, like if it's

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Speaker 1: not broke, you're okay. And that's kind of how I

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Speaker 1: grew up. I grew up in my house of athletes

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Speaker 1: and a parent who started his own company and and

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Speaker 1: and worked a lot and had really really strong, great

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Speaker 1: work ethic. And this was not just my my home.

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Speaker 1: This was also like the sports teams I was on

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Speaker 1: and the things that I did outside of my house

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Speaker 1: and outside of school. Is if something's not broken, then

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Speaker 1: you can walk it off like you'll be okay, Like

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Speaker 1: you can still do what it is that we need

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Speaker 1: you to do. And this isn't always a bad way

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Speaker 1: to live. I do want to say that I I

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Speaker 1: have a really good high pain tolerance, and I have

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Speaker 1: a really nice work ethic which I appreciate, and I

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Speaker 1: really think come a lot from kind of how I

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Speaker 1: was raised in these environments, and also I can tend

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Speaker 1: to overlook some of my needs. Now. When we don't

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Speaker 1: look at recovery as part of our set of needs,

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Speaker 1: then we create this framework that encourages us to overwork ourselves,

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Speaker 1: wear ourselves out, and abuse our bodies resiliency. And I

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Speaker 1: always remember this phone call I had with my uncle

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Speaker 1: before my first marathon. A little bit before it, I

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Speaker 1: had hurt my ankle and I never went to the

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Speaker 1: actual doctor to check it out, I don't think, but

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Speaker 1: I rolled it running. I think I was like turning

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Speaker 1: around and I like was in grass and I rolled

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Speaker 1: it and it swelled up pretty bad and it hurt.

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Speaker 1: And I was like talking to him about how I

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Speaker 1: was frustrated, and I think the race was pretty soon,

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Speaker 1: and he asked me, he was like, do you want

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Speaker 1: to run this marathon or do you want to be

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Speaker 1: able to run for the rest of your life? And

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Speaker 1: to be honest, I was annoyed by that question because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, this isn't going to make

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Speaker 1: me not be able to run the rest of my life.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to hurt it that bad by

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Speaker 1: running on this sprained ankle. And that's just where my

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Speaker 1: mind was that. I'm like, no, it's almost like you

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Speaker 1: have this false sense of like the superhero quality of

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Speaker 1: like I'm the exception to like these rules of how

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Speaker 1: we should take care of our bodies, Like, yeah, somebody

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Speaker 1: might do that, but like, I'll be fine, Like that

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Speaker 1: won't happen to me. And the thing is, we can

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Speaker 1: only be so resilient. Our bodies can only handle so much,

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Speaker 1: and what might get us ahead in the short term

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Speaker 1: will wear us out in the long term. You may

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Speaker 1: be able to bounce back easy now, or pull up

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Speaker 1: all nighters now, or ignore your self care and now,

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Speaker 1: but that might be setting you up to fail later

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Speaker 1: down the road. You might be depleting your body of

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Speaker 1: its ability to recover by overworking it now. And this

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Speaker 1: really hit me this weekend. I don't know what day,

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Speaker 1: or honestly, when I say weekend, I mean the last

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Speaker 1: ten days of my life. I don't remember what day

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Speaker 1: this was, but there was one day specifically when I

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Speaker 1: was just like itching to do something. I had like

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Speaker 1: probably been in isolation for a couple of days. At

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Speaker 1: this point I had spent hours on this puzzle already

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Speaker 1: that I was like stuck on. I had watched like multiple,

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Speaker 1: like full series of shows. I probably watched more TV

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Speaker 1: in that couple of days, and I haven't like the

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Speaker 1: last year, and so I just wanted something to do.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm gonna go work out because honestly,

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Speaker 1: I really do feel fine, and I have a gym

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Speaker 1: in my basement, and so I'm gonna go do like

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Speaker 1: a little like circuit and you know, give myself something

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Speaker 1: to preoccupy myself. And I even texted my group of

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Speaker 1: friends and I said I was going to go to

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Speaker 1: the basement workout, and one of them responded and was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: just don't overdo it. And my response jokingly back was

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Speaker 1: like who me overdo it? Like being like sarcastic, because

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Speaker 1: of course I would be the one to do that.

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Speaker 1: And then about like ten minutes in, I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting extremely winded from barely doing anything. And I

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Speaker 1: wasn't doing any kind of like cardio workout. I was

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Speaker 1: doing like pretty simple easy movements and I was getting

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Speaker 1: out of breath, and so I didn't end up finishing it,

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Speaker 1: full disclosure, probably did it longer than I should have.

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Speaker 1: But then I was like, this is kind of too

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Speaker 1: much and so I didn't finish it, and I just

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Speaker 1: was like, WHOA. I think it was like a wake

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Speaker 1: up call for just like my body and what it

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Speaker 1: was going through, because on the outside I looked fine

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Speaker 1: at that point, I sounded fine, I felt fine, but

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Speaker 1: I also didn't know the fullness of what was actually

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Speaker 1: going on inside of my body. My body wasn't fine.

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Speaker 1: My body had virus. And I probably felt fine because

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Speaker 1: my body was doing such a good job of fighting

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Speaker 1: the virus off. And so I had to ask myself,

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Speaker 1: why what I feel the need to put my body

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Speaker 1: in extra distress when it's working so hard right now,

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Speaker 1: and that's why I feel okay now. After I sat

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Speaker 1: with that for not that long long enough and I

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Speaker 1: texted one of my friends and marine and was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, like this is so crazy how the

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Speaker 1: body is. And we were just talking about like recovery

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Speaker 1: and rest and all that. After I had that conversation,

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Speaker 1: I didn't feel the need to do anything extra. The

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Speaker 1: next day, I was like, I'm happily going to sit

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Speaker 1: on the couch all day. I'm going to let my

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Speaker 1: body do what it needs to do, and if I

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Speaker 1: feel up for it, I'll go for a leisurely walk

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Speaker 1: just to breathe some fresh air. But I finally was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: my body actually does need to recover. But rest is

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Speaker 1: hard when you have received so much praise for not

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Speaker 1: needing to rest. Right, So taking easy is really tough

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Speaker 1: when you have received so much praise for working hard.

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Speaker 1: Needing a break is tough when you've received so much

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Speaker 1: praise for not needing a break. Praise elevates our self esteem.

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Speaker 1: So basically, when we elevate our self esteem off of something,

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Speaker 1: it's hard to go against that thing because well, well

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Speaker 1: then what's going to happen to your self esteem? Like,

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Speaker 1: and if your self esteem plummets, what's going to happen

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Speaker 1: to you? And this right here is when self compassion

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Speaker 1: becomes so much more important than self esteem. Self esteem

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Speaker 1: is not bad, but how we get it can really

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Speaker 1: trip us up. And it's an out early focused thing.

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Speaker 1: We get self esteem from experiences we have about how

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Speaker 1: we're perceived, and sometimes that's not the most important thing.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes how we're perceived is not the most important thing.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes the most important thing is being kind to myself,

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Speaker 1: Like it's more important to be kind to myself than

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Speaker 1: someone being impressed by my will power. And I think

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Speaker 1: that is one of the reasons why it is so

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Speaker 1: so tough for people to relax these days, so so

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Speaker 1: hard for us to actually take the recovery time we need,

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Speaker 1: because we get so much of our being from this

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Speaker 1: self esteem and our worth and our value from the

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Speaker 1: self esteem, when really our worth and our value doesn't

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Speaker 1: change ever, no matter how much self esteem we have,

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Speaker 1: our worth and our value doesn't never change, which is

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Speaker 1: so crazy. And once we realize that, when we have

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Speaker 1: days when we're feeling kind of icky about ourselves, they're

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Speaker 1: easier to sit with because I'm like, oh, I'm not

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Speaker 1: feeling great about myself today, and I know I'm just

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Speaker 1: as valuable as I was three days ago when I

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Speaker 1: was feeling on top of the world. So if you're

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Speaker 1: one of those people, I want to encourage you, and

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Speaker 1: I want to just let you know that one I

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Speaker 1: feel this with you, so you're not alone. We at

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Speaker 1: least know there's one other person that feels this way.

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Speaker 1: But it's okay sometimes to like put some of that

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Speaker 1: stuff down own and pick something else up. It's okay

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Speaker 1: to put the self esteem down for a second and

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Speaker 1: realize that, like I'm not a superhero, and I can

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Speaker 1: get hurt. My body can only handle so much, and

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Speaker 1: I don't gain value from not needing something that every

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Speaker 1: human being actually does need, rest recovery. Our recovery processes

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Speaker 1: are just as important as all of the work we do,

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Speaker 1: because the reason we can actually long term do that

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Speaker 1: work is because of our recovery processes. And nobody's an

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Speaker 1: exception to that rule, and if they are, then there's

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Speaker 1: something fishy going on. I just have to say, so

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Speaker 1: thank you for letting me go off of what we

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Speaker 1: normally do this week and talk about what's on my

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Speaker 1: brain rather than pick a question. I sometimes enjoy doing

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Speaker 1: that because sometimes I just like to talk about things,

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Speaker 1: but nobody asks about it, and so I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to talk about this. So, if you guys have had

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Speaker 1: COVID recently, I know it's everywhere right now, I'm with you.

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Speaker 1: I thought that I was going to be one of

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Speaker 1: the exceptions here, and yet again I was not. And

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Speaker 1: if you're one of those people that has had a

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Speaker 1: mild case, then like this might be something that you

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Speaker 1: needed to hear that, Like it's okay to have a

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Speaker 1: mild case on the outside, but still need the same

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Speaker 1: kind of rest that anybody else would need, and your

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Speaker 1: body deserves that because it's doing some crazy powerful things

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Speaker 1: to like get you feeling up to where you used

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Speaker 1: to or even to get you feeling how you feel now,

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Speaker 1: which might not be like the worst, but might not

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Speaker 1: be like where you used to be. So I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: not continue to ramble about this and I'm gonna um

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Speaker 1: let you, guys go and get on with whatever it

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Speaker 1: is you have going on today. With that being said,

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Speaker 1: I hope you have the day that you need to

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Speaker 1: have and I will be back with a brand new

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Speaker 1: episode for you on Monday. By guys