1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:12,319 Speaker 1: Welcome to tech Stuff, a production from iHeartRadio. Hey there, 2 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: and welcome to tech Stuff. I'm your host, Jonathan Strickland. 3 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,319 Speaker 1: I'm an executive producer with iHeart Podcasts and How the 4 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,959 Speaker 1: Tech are You. So I was asked many months ago 5 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: if I might do a holiday themed episode of tech Stuff, 6 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: and I've done a few of those in the past, 7 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: but I thought I would do something a little different 8 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: this time. It's a one time only sort of thing, 9 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: and I have no idea if anyone's even going to 10 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,919 Speaker 1: find it at all entertaining. But I've done it, so 11 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 1: now you get to hear it. I am calling it 12 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 1: the Text Stuff Christmas Carol. It is unabashedly a spoof 13 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: on a Christmas Carol. It just is. It is one 14 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: hundred percent that, and I'm talking about the Charles Dickens 15 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 1: Christmas Carol. So if this sort of thing is is 16 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: your thing, let me know. And if it's not, that's okay, 17 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: because like I said, it's a one time only as 18 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: this stuff takes a lot of work. So sit back, relax, 19 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: and let old tech Stuff host Jonathan Strickland tell you 20 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: a Christmas story. Here we go. Old Marley was canceled 21 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 1: to begin with, there can be no doubt whatsoever about 22 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: that his Facebook page was deactivated, his follower account on 23 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: x dwindled to nothing, and a petition to have him 24 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:42,160 Speaker 1: removed from Twitch gathered thousands of signatures. Marley's career was 25 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: as dead as a doornail elon. Scrooge knew this, of course, 26 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: how could it be otherwise. Scrooge and Marley were partners 27 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: for I don't know how many years of all the world. 28 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 1: Only Scrooge mourned Marlee's fall, and even Scrooge was not 29 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: so dreadfully cut up by affair. But Old Scrooge never 30 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: removed Marlee's name from the Scrooge and Marlee cryptocurrency Exchange, 31 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 1: nor did he excise Marley's name from their YouTube channel. 32 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: Such things would take effort and perhaps even cost money, 33 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: and Scrooge found no reason to spend either. Of all 34 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: the scheming crypto bros in the world, Scrooge was the worst, 35 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: a conniving, opportunistic creature. Nowhere would you find a greater 36 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: evangelist for questionable investments. There was not a Ponzi scheme 37 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:42,680 Speaker 1: or NFT exchange in all of Old London Town that 38 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: Scrooge was not behind, he would buy the dip, and 39 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: he would hoddle until the ends of time if he 40 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: were able. He seemed to value nothing other than money 41 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: and technology. And while the currencies he peddled consisted of 42 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,519 Speaker 1: zeros in one, he had a tendency to prefer cash 43 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: of a more fiat nature for his own means, and 44 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: meanly did he collect it and hoard it and do 45 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: everything he could not to spend it. His primary occupation 46 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: was that of a crypto lender. He would loan money 47 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: out to anyone with great enough interest, and every loan 48 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: carried interest that was truly great. He would funnel cryptocurrency 49 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: into loans used to purchase the very NFTs he himself 50 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: had minted, then make money off the interest payments on top. 51 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: And how he did love to see the numbers in 52 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: his online ledger grow. Once upon a time, on Christmas Eve, 53 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: of all days, Old Scrooge was busy creating a real 54 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: for Instagram. His assistant, one Bob Cratchett, would normally have 55 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: held the smartphone for Old Scrooge, but earlier in that year, 56 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: Scrooge had fired his loyal assistant in favor of an 57 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: automated algorithm that could tally up sums much faster, and 58 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: never complained about how cold the counting house would be. 59 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: Scrooge was therefore struggling with keeping his phone propped up 60 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: against some old books. He was far too miserly to 61 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: purchase a simple desktop tripod and ring lights set up. 62 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: He was just about to record his message on how 63 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: Dickens coins were about to go to the moon and 64 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: everyone should take out loans to buy as much as 65 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 1: they could, when the bell above his door went jingling ling. 66 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: Scrooge turned to see who had dared interrupt him, and 67 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: he groaned out loud when he saw it was his 68 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 1: good for nothing nephew Fred. Happy Christmas, Uncle, Scrooge, the fool, 69 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: called out, Bah, said Scrooge, humbug Christmas, A humbug, Uncle, 70 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: said the nephew. You cannot mean that. Scrooge turned on 71 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: his nephew. I mean every word. What right have you 72 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: to be merry? You're poor enough? Fred rejoined with and 73 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: what right have you to be dismal you're rich enough? 74 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: Scrooge snorted. There's no such thing as rich enough, only 75 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: poor enough. Uncle said Fred. What's Christmas time for you 76 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 1: but a time to purchase things? You cannot afford for 77 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 1: people you barely know and frequently do not like. You 78 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 1: find yourself a year older and not an hour richer. 79 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: If I had my way, every idiot who goes about 80 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: with Merry Christmas upon his lips would be run down 81 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: by an autonomous vehicle. You may keep your Christmas in 82 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 1: your way, and I will keep it in mine. Uncle. 83 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,840 Speaker 1: I came here to invite you to dine with us tomorrow, 84 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: said Fred. Good afternoon, replied Scrooge, And that was all 85 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: he had to say. Fred turned and said the invitation 86 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: remains open, and I wish you a merry Christmas, Uncle, 87 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: and a happy New Year. And with that Fred left. 88 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: Scrooge turned back to his real recording, only to hear 89 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 1: the bell above his door ring again. He was prepared 90 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 1: to hurl a host of insults at his nephew, only 91 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: to turn and see it was not Fred who was 92 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: at the door. Instead, he saw a pair of people, 93 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: modestly dressed, beaming pleasant smiles toward him. One of them 94 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: stepped forward and said, do I have the pleasure of 95 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: addressing mister Scrooge or mister Marley. Scrooge sneered, Marley has 96 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: been canceled. These last seven years, seven years ago to 97 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: this day. In fact, I cannot have him haunt this office, 98 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: for the woke among you would turn on my business 99 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:58,600 Speaker 1: entire in a heartbeat. Oh Marley, how unfair it is 100 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 1: that the public has the un reasonable expectation that you 101 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: should be held accountable for your own actions, said Scrooge. 102 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: The beaming smiles on the faces of the visitors faltered 103 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: for a moment. Quite said the young man who had 104 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: stepped forward his companion, A kindly looking woman, took the 105 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: opportunity to step forward herself. We are here collecting for 106 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: the poor and destitute, many of whom are in need 107 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: of medical attention. To that end, we have set up 108 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: a GoFundMe and wanted to know what we should put 109 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: you down for. And with that she held out a 110 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: smartphone with a QR code displayed upon it. Scrooge could 111 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: barely contain his disgust. He looked at the two interlopers 112 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: and said one word nothing. You wish to be anonymous, 113 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: said the young man. I wish to be left alone. 114 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: I don't make marry myself at Christmas, and I can't 115 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,080 Speaker 1: afford to make idle people marry. Are there no so 116 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: free clinics there are, though they are overwhelmed and have 117 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: few supplies. The kindly woman said sadly. Then they should 118 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: seek comfort there and not with me, said Scrooge. But sir, 119 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: with the centers overwhelmed, many won't be able to receive care. 120 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: They might die, objected the young man. If they are 121 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 1: to die, then they'd better do it and decrease the 122 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: surplus population, decried Scrooge, and he found a small element 123 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: of joy in the horror shown in the faces of 124 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: the young man and woman trolling. Scrooge thought always had 125 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: within it a certain value of entertainment. The two realized 126 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,959 Speaker 1: their efforts were in vain, and they left. Scrooge finally 127 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: recorded his Instagram reel proclaiming Dickens Coin to be the 128 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 1: next ticket to wealth, and that to purchase that ticket 129 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: one should first secure a loan from his very own 130 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: cryptocurrency count house. Of course, it was a poorly lit 131 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: video and the angle was off due to the smartphone 132 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,679 Speaker 1: leaning at a slight angle against the stack of books, 133 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 1: but it would suit Scrooge's purpose. He uploaded it, posted 134 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 1: it to Reddit, YouTube and other places as well, and 135 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,680 Speaker 1: then looked up from his labors. He was surprised to 136 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: see that the hours of the day were done and 137 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: that the time of closing was at hand. Thankfully, his 138 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: automated algorithm, whom Scrooge called Cratchet two point zero, would 139 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: work away the hours without the need for a break. 140 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: Scrooge allowed himself a thin, greedy smile. Then he donned 141 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 1: his scarf and gloves and stepped out of the shop 142 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: to lock up for the night. Scrooge then made his 143 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: way home, which once was Marlee's old home, but Marley 144 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: hadn't been seen in town for seven years. It was 145 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: thought that he once joined S. B. F's crew down 146 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 1: in the Caribbean, only to flee mere hours before the 147 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: authorities descended upon the property where he was now No 148 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: one could say, not even Scrooge. As he walked up 149 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: to the front door, he thought for a moment that 150 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: he could actually see Marley's face reflected in the ring 151 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: doorbell camera elong screwe, it seemed to say. Scrooge jumped 152 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: at the site, but in a blink of an eye 153 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 1: he saw that only the doorbell remained. Humbug, Scrooge said, 154 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: and thought idly that some Amazon employees were likely having 155 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: a real laugh over the site of Scrooge's countenance on 156 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: the video feed. Maybe the local police as well, there 157 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 1: was a real surveillance state. Scrooge let himself in and 158 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: then considered what to do about supper. He had several 159 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,479 Speaker 1: meal kits in various states of decay in his refrigerator. 160 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: When there was a promotional offer on one of the 161 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: financial podcasts that Scrooge subscribed to, he would sign up 162 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: in order to get free food. Free is the best cost. 163 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 1: But the meal kits require you to cook, and such 164 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 1: a pleasurable activity seemed far beneath the elon Scrooge. So 165 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 1: those meal kits mostly just sat in the fridge and 166 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 1: slowly evolved into moldy life forms. Scrooge instead chose his 167 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: old go to for dinner, a quick order on door 168 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 1: dash for a bowl of gruel. Yep, nothing hits home 169 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: like some tasteless gruel late at night. Within twenty five 170 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: minutes his order had arrived. He left no tip, of course, 171 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: and Scrooge turned to carry the gruel up to his room. 172 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: As he climbed the stairs, he thought he saw a 173 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: hearse drive up the staircase in front of him. A 174 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: hearse with a tesla badge on it. It looked even uglier 175 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: than the truck. But Scrooge, resolute and unwilling to give 176 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: into fear, continued on his way. He did, however, allow 177 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 1: himself a little more light than usual. Once he reached 178 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 1: his room Alexa, he called out, make all the lights 179 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 1: fifteen percent bright. That was five percent more than his habit, 180 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: but Scrooge wished to preserve the life of those led 181 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: smart bulbs for as long as possible. They were costly 182 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: and darkness was cheap. Satisfied that no intruder lurked in 183 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: the shadows, he sat down to eat his gruel, but 184 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 1: then his phone buzzed. It was an alert from his 185 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: ring security system. It said someone was at the door, 186 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: but Scrooge saw nothing on the video feed. Then he 187 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: got alerts from cameras all around his home, one after 188 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: the other, and no screen showed a soul in sight. 189 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: Then Scrooge heard steps on the staircase below, steadily climbing 190 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,440 Speaker 1: up and ending on the other side of the door, 191 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: And then in an instant, a figure passed through the 192 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: door itself. Scrooge recognized it at once. It was Marlee. Okay, 193 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break from this goofy spoof 194 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: of a Christmas carol to thank our sponsor. We'll be 195 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: right back. Scrooge stared at Marlee. He was just as 196 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: Scrooge had remembered him seven Christmases ago, except that now 197 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: Scrooge could literally see through Marley, whereas before it was 198 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 1: actually just he could metaphorically see through Marley. You understand 199 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Marlee's hologram. Scrooge proclaimed, What do you 200 00:13:55,320 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: want with me? Much said Marlee is acquired of every person, 201 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: that the spirit within them should walk abroad among others 202 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 1: and travel far and wide. And if this is not 203 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 1: to happen in life, it must happen in death. Death, 204 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: called out Scrooge. But Marlee, you aren't dead. Marley's hologram 205 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: looked at Scrooge, his face expressionless. Seven years of not 206 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: being able to say whatever I want, whenever I want, 207 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: without having to consider accountability might as well be death. 208 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: Listen carefully, Scrooge, for my time is short. Tonight you 209 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: shall be visited by three chat bots I would rather not, 210 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: said Scrooge. Expect the first tomorrow when your digital clocks 211 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 1: shows one, continued Marley. The second when the clock shows two. 212 00:14:53,200 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 1: And the third when the clock shows three. You always 213 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 1: did like Alec Ginnis Marley, and you're a good man 214 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: of business, said Scrooge. Mankind should have been my business. 215 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 1: Look to see me no more, And with that, Marley's 216 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: hologram faded back through the wall. Scrooge sat for a 217 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: moment and then said, humbug. But he only dimmed the 218 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: lights to twelve percent brightness, and he went straight to bed, 219 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 1: whereupon he fell asleep. An hour later, his smartphone buzzed 220 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 1: in alarm. As Scrooge woke to turn it off, he 221 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: saw a shadowy figure standing at the foot of his bed. 222 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: Who and what are you, he cried out. The figure 223 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: stepped forward, revealing a low fie pixelated woman in professional attire. 224 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 1: I am the chatbot of Christmas Past. You may call 225 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: me Eliza long past, asked Scrooge. You're past, said Eliza. 226 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: How does that make you feel? But oh a bit 227 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 1: uneasy if I'm being on, said Scrooge. Why are you 228 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 1: feeling uneasy, asked Eliza. Why because a strange apparition is 229 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: in my bedroom, yelled Scrooge. Why is a strange apparition 230 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: as in my bedroom? Asked Eliza. Well that doesn't make 231 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 1: any sense. Wait a second, are you just taking things 232 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: I say and then turning them into questions? So it 233 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: sounds like you're psychoanalyzing me, asked Scrooge. Eliza's face was 234 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 1: far too low resolution to display a smile, but Scrooge 235 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 1: detected one in her voice. Come, Scrooge, we must visit 236 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: your past, and we haven't much time with that. She 237 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: grasped his ankle. He felt a strange tingling sensation, and 238 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: next thing he knew he was in a lecture hall 239 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: tell me, said Eliza. Do you recognize this? This is 240 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: my old artificial intelligence class at Stanford, said Scrooge. And 241 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 1: there's Professor Finn. She taught me everything I know about 242 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:06,199 Speaker 1: machine learning? And how much is that? Asked Eliza. Not 243 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 1: that much, But that wasn't her fault. I dropped out 244 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:13,199 Speaker 1: of Stanford that year, said Scrooge. Yes, you missed the 245 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:18,719 Speaker 1: classes on ethics and bias, it would seem, said Eliza. Humbug, 246 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: muttered Scrooge, though he did so without much emphasis behind 247 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,120 Speaker 1: it impractical. Professor Fenn had many more lessons for you. 248 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 1: It's a shame you didn't stick around to hear them, 249 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:34,919 Speaker 1: said Eliza, Scrooge remained silent. But then we have another appointment. 250 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: Off we go, and with that Eliza took Scrooge's wrist 251 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 1: and the two appeared in a large office space filled 252 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: with workstations. Do you know where we are, Scrooge asked Eliza. 253 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: Why this is the old Fezzy dot Whig office. Well, 254 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 1: it was a we work office, and then we rented 255 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,119 Speaker 1: it with some seed money. But it was for the 256 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,119 Speaker 1: Fezzi dot Wig app It was my first cryptoc and 257 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 1: the application. Look there I am as a young man, 258 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: and over there is young Marley. Scrooge was beside himself. 259 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 1: Hello Marley, these are but visions of the past, said Eliza. 260 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:17,200 Speaker 1: They can neither see nor hear you. Scrooge watched, amazed 261 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: at the site before him. There was Marlee, there was himself, 262 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: and then there was their benefactor, Old f w himself. 263 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:31,359 Speaker 1: Scrooge's smile faltered. Tell me, said Eliza FW. There wasn't 264 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: he the man who provided the seed money you spoke of. 265 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,400 Speaker 1: He did more than that, said Scrooge. He gave us advice. 266 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 1: He taught us to be careful with our money. He 267 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 1: taught us how to set up a business and how 268 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,199 Speaker 1: to position a startup to be attractive to angel investors. 269 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 1: And how did you repay this kindness? Asked Eliza. Scrooge 270 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 1: looked down. We met in secret after we made our 271 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: first billion, voted him out, returned his initial investment, and 272 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 1: then we kept the rest. Seems to me that you 273 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:07,200 Speaker 1: learned his lessons very well, then, said Eliza. Scrooge remained silent. Well, 274 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 1: come along, there's one last vision I have to show you, 275 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: And with that, Scrooge was whisked away. Once more. Scrooge 276 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: saw a younger version of himself standing before him, phone 277 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 1: in hand, his eyes locked on the screen. A young 278 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: woman was talking to his younger self. But the fool 279 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: just wasn't paying attention. This says bell, I believe, asked Eliza, 280 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: you met on tender Scrooge choked back a sob We did. 281 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,640 Speaker 1: I at one time thought the day she swiped right 282 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,480 Speaker 1: was the luckiest day of my life. And yet here 283 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 1: you are glued to a screen rather than heeding the 284 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 1: words of your love. What was so important that you 285 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 1: couldn't pull your attention away, asked Eliza. I was watching 286 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 1: my coinbase account. Crypto coins were fluctuating wildly that day, 287 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: and one moment I would be up and the next 288 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: moment down. I couldn't look away, said Scrooge. But what 289 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:10,399 Speaker 1: exactly could you have done about it, asked Eliza. Scrooge's 290 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 1: shoulders slumped. Nothing. The transaction time with these crypto coins 291 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: is so long that even if I were to spring 292 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 1: on a spike, there was no guarantee the spike would 293 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: hold before the transaction ended. I could really only just 294 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 1: stand and watch. Scrooge watched as the young woman, disheartened, 295 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:34,399 Speaker 1: turned away from his younger self, walking off for a 296 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: little while before opening up her own smartphone tender app 297 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 1: and searching through the profiles. And so you let her 298 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: go over a matter you could do nothing about, said Eliza. 299 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,199 Speaker 1: Chat Butt, cried Scrooge, I can take no more of this. 300 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,160 Speaker 1: Comport me home, and in a blink of an eye 301 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 1: he found himself back in bed, but he could not 302 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 1: relax for a second. Later, his clock displayed the hour 303 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: of two. Suddenly, lights shone into the bedroom from every angle, 304 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: as if all of Scrooge's smart lights went straight to 305 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: one hundred percent, And there, standing in a confident pose, 306 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: was a woman in a fur lined green robe. Get up, Scrooge, 307 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: and know me better. She said, Am I to understand 308 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:26,120 Speaker 1: you are the chatbot of Christmas Present? Asked Scrooge, I am, 309 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 1: though you may call me Alexa, said the vision. You 310 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: have never seen my life before or met any of 311 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: my elder siblings born in these later years. I do 312 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 1: not believe I have. Do you have many siblings, asked Scrooge. 313 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 1: More than two thousand, laughed the chat bot. Now take 314 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 1: hold of my robe. We have much to see. Scrooge 315 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,640 Speaker 1: did as he was told, and in a moment found 316 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 1: himself outside in an apartment window. Inside the apartment, he 317 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,879 Speaker 1: could see a family, and he could hear what they 318 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,720 Speaker 1: were saying. In a moment, he realized it was the 319 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:05,120 Speaker 1: family of his former employee, Bob Cratchit. Where's father, asked 320 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: a young girl. Oh, you know your dad. He's gigging. 321 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: He's driving for Uber at the moment, or was it 322 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 1: delivering for instacart? Hall's I know is he's working hard 323 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,880 Speaker 1: for all of us, as are your older brothers and sisters, 324 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 1: said a matronlee woman whom Scrooge assumed was Cratchit's wife. 325 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: Cratch It is a gig economy worker, asked Scrooge, what else, 326 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: said Alexa? Jobs are hard to come by, What with 327 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,320 Speaker 1: companies like yours eliminating hard working humans in favor of 328 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 1: cold algorithms, and those older staff who are holding on 329 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: to positions longer because they haven't saved enough to retire, 330 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,239 Speaker 1: so they're not leaving. What choice did Bob Cratchit have. 331 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: Scrooge looked at the apartment. It was modestly furnished, with 332 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: many pieces appearing to be at best secondhand. Is is 333 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:03,119 Speaker 1: he going for shabby sh by any chance? Asked Scrooge. 334 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,680 Speaker 1: Alexa rolled her eyes. You think the style was on purpose? 335 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,000 Speaker 1: It was from necessity. Did you know? Bob Cratchit works 336 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 1: more hours now than he ever did while working for 337 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: your company, but he earns less and he has no benefits. 338 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,400 Speaker 1: Take a look at that child over there by the corner, 339 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,639 Speaker 1: Scrooge did, and saw a young boy sitting next to 340 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: an old pair of crutches. Who is that? That? Said Alexa? 341 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:34,160 Speaker 1: Is tiny Tim cratch Its young son? Is he ill? 342 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 1: Asked Scrooge, with growing concern. He is not well, replied 343 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:46,439 Speaker 1: Alexa grimly. Will the child live? Asked Scrooge. Alexa closed 344 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 1: her eyes and said, if things do not change from 345 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,639 Speaker 1: how they are, I see an unused pair of crutches 346 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,400 Speaker 1: leaning on the wall in an empty chair where Tim 347 00:23:54,520 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: now sits. No, gasped Scrooge, Why the concern, screwg If 348 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,639 Speaker 1: he might die, he'd better do it and decrease the 349 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: surplus population. Scrooge swallowed hard. Perhaps I was over hasty 350 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 1: in relieving Cratchet of his situation. And after all, cratch 351 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: It never once caused a microcrash of the market due 352 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: to too many crypto trades in the span of a second, 353 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 1: unlike that algorithm. Alexa looked down on Scrooge without comment, 354 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:29,280 Speaker 1: What else do you see? Scrooge looked again. They're happy 355 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,880 Speaker 1: even in the state therein And with that the door 356 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: to the apartment opened, and in walked pob cratch It. 357 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,440 Speaker 1: He looked older and thinner than when Scrooge saw him last. 358 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,640 Speaker 1: He had less hair, but the smile on his face 359 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 1: upon seeing his family transformed him into a young man again. 360 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 1: Merry Christmas, Cratchets, he proclaimed. Scrooge dabbed at his eyes. 361 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,159 Speaker 1: Perhaps I'll pay cratch It a visit and see if 362 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 1: he might consider returning to the firm. Alexa gave no 363 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 1: reply but to say, take hold of my robe. We've 364 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 1: other place to be. With that, the pairs zipped across 365 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,920 Speaker 1: town to a different home, an unremarkable but friendly looking 366 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: house with Christmas decorations hung haphazardly around it. Alexi said, 367 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: I am not surprised you do not recognize this place, 368 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: for you've never set foot here. But we are at 369 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 1: your nephew Fred's home. Scrooge scowled, what four, Alexa replied, 370 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,480 Speaker 1: to see how your nephew keeps Christmas in his own way, 371 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:31,479 Speaker 1: while you leave it alone. With that, the two walked 372 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,960 Speaker 1: to a window and they gazed inward. Scrooge saw a 373 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,159 Speaker 1: holiday party in full swing, with guests laughing and eating 374 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,239 Speaker 1: and drinking and talking with one another, and over them 375 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: all he could hear Fred say a toast to Uncle Scrooge, 376 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: that comical old fellow. Why he's the richest man I know, 377 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,040 Speaker 1: and yet all that money does him no good. He 378 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 1: doesn't use it to make himself comfortable or to help 379 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,560 Speaker 1: others with it. It's a sad lot, i'd say, for 380 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,439 Speaker 1: someone to have all that money and no sense of value. 381 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: Scrooge felt himself take a sharp breath. What but my accounts? 382 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 1: And Alexa then shushed Scrooge, He's not finished Fred continued, 383 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 1: I am sorry for him, for the person who suffers 384 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 1: most from his miserly behavior is himself. He gains a 385 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: small boost in mood when he sells an NFT or 386 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: closes on a crypto loan, but as soon as that 387 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: moment's over, so is the thrill he has left waiting 388 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 1: for that next opportunity. It's never about the now, It's 389 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:38,159 Speaker 1: always about the next. You know. They say, work fast 390 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 1: and break things, and I'm afraid my poor uncle is 391 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: well and truly broken. It is a sad state, for 392 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 1: in denying himself the company of others, he misses out 393 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 1: on pleasant moments that would cost him nothing and give 394 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 1: him everything. Scrooge turned his face away, feeling a sense 395 00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 1: of shame. The party then turned to party gains, which 396 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: fascinated Scrooge. He had studied game theory, but only so 397 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: far as it would benefit him in business. Watching others 398 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 1: take pleasure in games, reveling in cleverness and wordplay made 399 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,879 Speaker 1: Scrooge feel as though he was really missing out. But 400 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,439 Speaker 1: just as the party was about to start a new game, 401 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,760 Speaker 1: Alexa turned to him, it is time for us to go, 402 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 1: and without waiting for Scrooge's Protestations. She brought him home 403 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 1: heed this lesson, well, Scrooge. Money and technology can make 404 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 1: things easier. They can, with the right use, make lives 405 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 1: better and help others. But to accumulate them for their 406 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: own sake is a path you do not wish to tread. 407 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,160 Speaker 1: My time has come, and so I must say good night. 408 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:48,160 Speaker 1: And with that, Alexa, visibly older since her initial appearance, 409 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: faded away. Moments passed, and then Scrooge's smartphone buzzed once 410 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: and then went dead. The digital clock went dark as well. 411 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: Before Scrooge could verify that it was three in the monsing, 412 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,560 Speaker 1: all the lights in his house went out, and no 413 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: calling for Alexa to turn them on again would work. 414 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:12,359 Speaker 1: But then Scrooge spied a glow, a faint blue glow, 415 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 1: growing brighter and closer. Scrooge leaned out of his bed 416 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 1: to get a better look and saw a rectangular form approaching, 417 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,359 Speaker 1: and as it got closer he could make out white 418 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 1: text upon the blue rectangle. It was as Scrooge feared, 419 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,879 Speaker 1: the blue screen of death. Are you the third chat 420 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:37,439 Speaker 1: Bot whose visitation was foretold to me? Asked Scrooge. The 421 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,680 Speaker 1: Blue Screen of death said nothing, chat Bot, I fear 422 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 1: you more than any other I have seen. But I 423 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: know that your presence here is for my benefit, and 424 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: so let us to it, said Scrooge, with more bravery 425 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 1: than he actually felt. And with that he had an 426 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 1: odd sensation, as if control all delete had been pressed 427 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 1: upon his entire life, and he found himself looking at 428 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 1: a group of strangers. I didn't think he'd ever die, 429 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 1: said the first. Neither did I old Coot was trying 430 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: to figure out how digital immortality could work. Last I heard, 431 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 1: I was convinced he'd find a way to live in 432 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 1: our computers forever, said the second person, a real ghost 433 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 1: to the machine. I'm glad it didn't work out. He 434 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 1: was scary enough in life, said a third. What do 435 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: you think happened to all his money? Asked yet another. 436 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. I only know he didn't leave it 437 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: to me, said the first. The second piped up with 438 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: I heard he dumped it all in doge coin just 439 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,480 Speaker 1: before it kicked the bucket, and then the coin crashed 440 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: and wiped out every cent of his wealth. The strangers 441 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 1: all shook their heads. What a waste. Scrooge turned to 442 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: the blue screen of death. So this person who has 443 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,720 Speaker 1: passed on. He spent his life accumulating great wealth, and 444 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 1: then at the end it just went away, as if 445 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,120 Speaker 1: it had never even been there in the first place. 446 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: I get your meaning. Chat bought of the future. I 447 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,960 Speaker 1: see now what Alexa told me before, that pursuing money 448 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: and tech for its own sake has no value in it. 449 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 1: But who was this poor soul? The chat bought A 450 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: Christmas as yet to come turned slightly, casting blue light 451 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: on a graveyard. Scrooge turned and saw a pair of 452 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,479 Speaker 1: grave diggers walking off from a fresh grave that had 453 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:34,239 Speaker 1: a new headstone. He walked forward, and he saw that 454 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 1: the name carved in the stone was E. Scrooge Ebeneezer, 455 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 1: my cousin. Well that's sad, said Elon Scrooge. The blue 456 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:50,959 Speaker 1: screen of death let a sigh. Oh wait, you mean 457 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 1: to indicate this this is my grave? What a twist. 458 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 1: No one would ever see that coming. I mean, that's 459 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 1: a real shocker you have there. I promise that would 460 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: be a better man than I once was. That I 461 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: will value the people in my life, that I will 462 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,760 Speaker 1: help those whom I can, and then my focus will 463 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: be on things that have real value. I will keep 464 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: Christmas in my heart all the year round, claimed Scrooge. 465 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,080 Speaker 1: The light from the blue Screen of Death grew dimmer, 466 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,920 Speaker 1: and Scrooge, through his pleading, felt his back press up 467 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 1: against the cold headstone. As all light faded around him. 468 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,840 Speaker 1: He could feel the chill freshly dug earth beneath him, 469 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 1: and all sounds began to fade. And then in a heartbeat, 470 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: he was surrounded by light, and he found himself in 471 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 1: his own bed, in his own home. He sprung out 472 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: of bed and checked his smartphone calendar Christmas Day. He 473 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 1: hadn't missed it. The chatbots had done it all in 474 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,480 Speaker 1: one night. Right away, Scrooge placed a hefty order on 475 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: Instacart to deliver a veritable feast to the crotched apartment, 476 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 1: and off he went. He used his Amazon app to 477 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 1: have a pile of toys and clothes and a new 478 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,880 Speaker 1: pair of crutches sent as well, all guaranteed to be 479 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: delivered within four hours. And if you don't think someone 480 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 1: is being exploited to make that happen, you're fooling yourself. 481 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 1: He ordered a way Mood driverless vehicle to take him 482 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,520 Speaker 1: straight to the Cratchitt's house. The weima only got confused 483 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 1: a couple of times, and despite some close calls on 484 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 1: those icy streets, didn't get into any actual accidents that time. 485 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,520 Speaker 1: Scrooge arrived just as the deliveries did, and he positioned 486 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: himself in the back behind everyone else as they walked 487 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 1: up to the Cratchit's door. Bob answered the door himself, 488 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: and Scrooge was delighted at seeing Bob's confused face as 489 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 1: he found himself the recipient of foods and gifts beyond 490 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 1: his counting. Finally, Scrooge stepped up to Bob as the 491 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 1: last delivery person left, and Bob's eyes got even larger, 492 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 1: if such a thing were possible, Mister Scrooge, he said, 493 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 1: it's me, Bob. I've come to wish you merry Christmas 494 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 1: and to delight her a backlog of gifts I've owed 495 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: you and your wonderful family for many years, as well 496 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: as to make an offer to you. I want you 497 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 1: back at the Crypto Firm, but not as clerk. I 498 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: want you there as partner, and we can find a 499 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,239 Speaker 1: way to take the wealth we've generated and pour it 500 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,959 Speaker 1: back into the community. No need to give me an 501 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 1: answer right now. Enjoy your Christmas, Bob Cratchit was clearly 502 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:28,880 Speaker 1: dazed by all this, but blurted out, I accept and 503 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,360 Speaker 1: a very merry Christmas to you too, mister Scrooge. I'll 504 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 1: have the new sign. Cratch It and Scrooge made up 505 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 1: after the holiday, said Scrooge. Now I must be off. 506 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: I have a family invitation I have neglected for too long. 507 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 1: God bless you, mister Scrooge, said Bob Cratchit, and from 508 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: behind him, a little voice belonging to tiny Tim said 509 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:58,960 Speaker 1: God bless us everyone. The end. All right, that concludes 510 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: story time here at Tech Stuff. I had a lot 511 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 1: of fun writing that very silly spoof, and I hope 512 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: you enjoyed it. It certainly has more than a few 513 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 1: of my opinions very obviously peppered throughout. I know, I 514 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 1: don't even need to say that. Everybody picked it up. 515 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,879 Speaker 1: It's so it's so obvious, it's undeniable. But it kind 516 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: of gives me a little a space to vent right 517 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 1: and to kind of talk about some things that I 518 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 1: think are important that we often lose sight of when 519 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 1: we're doing things like covering technology. I do think technology 520 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: has the amazing potential to help people and to make 521 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:40,640 Speaker 1: lives better, but it requires a lot of patience and 522 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 1: stewardship to make sure that happens and that it doesn't 523 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 1: just become some sort of get rich quick pathway for 524 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: you know, small startups. Anyway, I hope you are all 525 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,640 Speaker 1: having an amazing holiday season. I know this one was 526 00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:02,840 Speaker 1: Christmas centric, but really I wish you all happiness and health. 527 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,960 Speaker 1: However it is you celebrate, whatever you celebrate, I hope 528 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 1: you and your families and friends all have a wonderful 529 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: holiday season. And thank you so much for listening. I'll 530 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:24,200 Speaker 1: talk to you again really soon. Tech Stuff is an 531 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:29,720 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio production. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 532 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.