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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host.

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Speaker 2: And we got some great stories coming up. Before that,

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Speaker 2: we have a quick two minute break from the sponsors

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Speaker 2: that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 3: My fiance wants to cancel our wedding because of a

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Speaker 3: failed handstand attempt.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes a handstands so bad you gotta clear your entire day.

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Speaker 3: We have to go into hiding. My fiance and I

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Speaker 3: were invited to a barbecue at the new home of

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Speaker 3: one of her bridesmaids slash best friends, and there were

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Speaker 3: a lot of games there too. After everyone ate, Naomi

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Speaker 3: and her husband gathered everyone for an impromptu talent show

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Speaker 3: and encouraged everyone to participate. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from throw Amelia too on the Okay Storytime Separate it.

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Speaker 3: So a few people didn't play, but my fiance did

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Speaker 3: as a few of her friends did too. In my

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Speaker 3: first post, I forgot to mention that she knew about

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Speaker 3: the games beforehand, so she already had her act in

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Speaker 3: mind before the party. When it was her turn, she

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Speaker 3: tried to use a chair to do a handstand slash

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Speaker 3: headstand on the grass, placing her head on the base

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Speaker 3: of the chair and holding the armrest with her hands

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Speaker 3: seems really dangerous. The chair tipped backward as she fell

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Speaker 3: on her back, and a few of us ran over,

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Speaker 3: including myself, to make sure she was okay. She was

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Speaker 3: crying after it happened before me and one of her

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Speaker 3: bridesmaids helped assist her to the bathroom away from everyone,

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Speaker 3: and when we were inside, she said she wanted to leave. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I feel like she could have come back from that,

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Speaker 3: and told her that I'd get her things so that

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Speaker 3: she wouldn't have to see anyone anymore, and the bridesmaid

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Speaker 3: slash best friend stayed with her by the car as

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Speaker 3: I did this. She was still crying on the drive back,

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Speaker 3: and when we got home she wanted to be left alone.

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Speaker 3: I figured it was best not to push her into talking,

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Speaker 3: so I tried my best to give her the space

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Speaker 3: she wanted. She didn't talk about it until the next day,

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Speaker 3: when she told me that she wanted to uninvite everyone

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Speaker 3: at the party that saw her fall, and that was

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Speaker 3: our first conversation. I told her that while I understood

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Speaker 3: it was embarrassing and couldn't understand what she was feeling,

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Speaker 3: uninviting everyone seemed like a bit much and might be

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Speaker 3: emotional thinking too. But after I that, she said that

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Speaker 3: she wanted to postpone the wedding, and I told her

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Speaker 3: that she should take more time because she might feel

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Speaker 3: differently in a few days, and she didn't find solace

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Speaker 3: when I told her that no one would care in

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Speaker 3: a couple of days too. She then said she didn't

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Speaker 3: want to talk anymore and decided to sleep downstairs and

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Speaker 3: eat separately from that night on. And it really hurt

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Speaker 3: when she did that. However, she also decided to contact

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Speaker 3: the wedding planner and tell her that we decided to

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Speaker 3: cancel behind my back. This is a child. You don't

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Speaker 3: want to marry this child. And that was what made

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Speaker 3: me write my first post. When I tried to talk

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Speaker 3: to her after finding out, she yelled at me and

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Speaker 3: told me to leave her alone. And that was when

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Speaker 3: I reached out to my parents, who suggested that I

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Speaker 3: try to contact hers. And this is where we get

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Speaker 3: the backstory, where it's like when.

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Speaker 4: I was a child, I did a handstand on a

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Speaker 4: chair and I fell and everyone laughed at me. And

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Speaker 4: now whenever it happens again, I'm scarred, I'm traumatized.

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Speaker 2: Whenever it happens again on a full moon. I get

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Speaker 2: crazy and I call off my wedding.

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Speaker 3: But there is an update. After ignoring me and telling

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Speaker 3: the planner we were canceling, I felt that was her

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Speaker 3: way of saying we were done, despite not officially saying

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Speaker 3: it to me. I mean, she canceled your wedding behind

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Speaker 3: your back. That's kind of yeah, you can read into that.

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Speaker 3: I tried to reach out to her parents numerous times

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Speaker 3: before my post. They missed every call and never return

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Speaker 3: my detailed email about what had happened in the week

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Speaker 3: since the party. A few people commented that I wasn't

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Speaker 3: being considerate of her feelings. I think Opee was incredibly considerate,

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Speaker 3: But I feel like I tried my best to support her,

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Speaker 3: from helping her leave without seeing anyone slash getting her things,

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Speaker 3: and not pushing her to talk until she was ready.

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Speaker 3: I don't feel like I was pushy at all. A

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Speaker 3: few people also said that she could have suffered brain

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Speaker 3: injury from falling from the chair height and never visiting

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Speaker 3: a doctor, stating how side effects don't always show immediately,

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Speaker 3: but that she should still get checked out. Everyone's like

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Speaker 3: that response was so crazy that she probably was concussed.

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Speaker 1: She knocked her brain loose.

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Speaker 3: She's clinically there's something clinically wrong with her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know about that.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I hate to be this guy, but this just

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Speaker 2: sounds like somebody who their whole life has always been

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Speaker 2: able to get what they want by just being like

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Speaker 2: I'm done, yeah, and like this is what happens. I

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Speaker 2: guess when you entertain that behavior for someone's entire existence.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It was almost a week from the party when I

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Speaker 3: wrote my first post, and in my edit I said

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Speaker 3: that I would try to call Slash email her parents

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Speaker 3: again because my top priority was making sure she was

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Speaker 3: okay and hoping that they can convince her to see

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Speaker 3: a doctor since she refused when I asked. I've since

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Speaker 3: tried to call email them numerous times, but I've since

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Speaker 3: been blocked as my email has not been returned either.

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Speaker 3: I've tried to talk to my fiance since two, but

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Speaker 3: she said that she'd be leaving to stay with her

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Speaker 3: sister after she gathered everything she wanted to leave.

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Speaker 2: This woman literally, don't just do you now disappear as well.

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Speaker 3: Don't marry her because she's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Can you imagine if she did this like three years

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Speaker 2: into your marriage, you guys have a kid, and.

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Speaker 3: She's like, I gotta go. Well, all her kids sees

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Speaker 3: her fall in this handstand and she's like, gotta get

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Speaker 3: rid of this kid. We got to put it up

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Speaker 3: for adoption. I guess I took the kid to the farm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's going to live there for the rest

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Speaker 2: of it's life.

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Speaker 3: I'll get back to that in a moment. But in

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Speaker 3: my last post, I mentioned how her best friend slash

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Speaker 3: bridesmaids reached out to me to ask me how she

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Speaker 3: was doing since the fall, and they also told me

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Speaker 3: that she had ghosted their text slash calls and that

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Speaker 3: they were concerned about her. I was surprised because some

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Speaker 3: of them were her best friends and if she'd vent

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Speaker 3: to anyone, I figured it be them. They were also

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Speaker 3: concerned that she didn't get checked and had left their

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Speaker 3: messages on read, but as of writing this, she has

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Speaker 3: also blocked them too. This is insane behavior. However, one

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Speaker 3: of her best friends sent me a text that my

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Speaker 3: fiance sent to her about the bridesmaid who helped her

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Speaker 3: to the bathroom, and as far as I know, she's

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Speaker 3: the only one who received a response so far. Long

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Speaker 3: story short, my fiance vented to her about how she

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Speaker 3: didn't want help when she and a few others, including myself,

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Speaker 3: over after she fell, and she also vented about how

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Speaker 3: Naomi and her husband were show offs for hosting a

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Speaker 3: barbecue in their new home, among other things.

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Speaker 1: This person has a lot of personal growth to do.

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Speaker 3: What she's like. No one can have a barbecue that's

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Speaker 3: showing off. You didn't have to show up. And also

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Speaker 3: she's mad that people tried to help her. However, when

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Speaker 3: the best friend told her that no one was thinking

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Speaker 3: about her fall and that everyone who ran over was

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Speaker 3: genuinely concerned about her and that she should get herself checked,

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Speaker 3: that's when she blocked her and didn't respond. As of

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Speaker 3: right now, my ex fiance is staying with her sister

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Speaker 3: after she came over to help her with her things,

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Speaker 3: and it was only when she was there that my

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Speaker 3: fiance finally decided to say that she was done. I

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Speaker 3: told her that I received the message when she told

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Speaker 3: the planner we had canceled behind my back, But some

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Speaker 3: of her best friends told me that they were sorry

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Speaker 3: for me and that they were surprised with their actions too.

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Speaker 3: After hearing about how she treated me at home. I

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Speaker 3: personally thought it was connected to her pride of currently

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Speaker 3: doing yoga and being a former gymnast, But some things

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Speaker 3: I guess I'll never know. It still hurts a lot

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Speaker 3: with the sudden shock, but some people recommended talking to

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Speaker 3: a therapist, and it's something I'm trying to consider with

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Speaker 3: my insurance. Wedding stuff is complicated, but I just want

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Speaker 3: it to be over soon. Dad's just being a lawyer

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Speaker 3: and that's where we're looking at right now. Although it

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Speaker 3: still hurts like hell, but you know, one never hurts

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Speaker 3: joining us live every week Death three pm PST on YouTube,

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Speaker 3: Facebook and TikTok.

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Speaker 1: Just never file.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't hurt it all. It's easy. Just takes a

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Speaker 2: couple of taps and you're there, apps.

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Speaker 3: And the taps down her. There is a little bit

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Speaker 3: left to this tale.

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Speaker 2: But what do you think I feel proud of myself

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Speaker 2: for being like she definitely had a gymnast background for

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Speaker 2: this to be a big of a deal.

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Speaker 3: Got it.

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Speaker 2: But you don't want to be married to someone who's

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Speaker 2: willing to cut off all of their friends and cancel

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Speaker 2: their wedding and then break off their engagement.

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Speaker 3: With you over being slightly embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, who knows what she's thinking.

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Speaker 2: There's got to be more to it than that, But

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Speaker 2: like whatever it is is, it's irrelevant.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because no, I mean you are embarrassed. I mean

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Speaker 3: I am. I get embarrassed by things probably like at

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Speaker 3: least three to four times a week, you know, maybe

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Speaker 3: two times a day. There's probably something I've done that's

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Speaker 3: embarrassing or something, and you just got to keep going.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's the whole thing is.

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Speaker 2: It's like, I feel like she was embarrassed about this

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Speaker 2: and then literally did.

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Speaker 3: Everything like take every box to make.

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Speaker 2: Every single person who was involved remember it for the

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Speaker 2: rest of their lives. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean if I was at a party and someone

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Speaker 3: fell and they just kind of like got up, or

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Speaker 3: like even if they like shed a few tears, I'd

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Speaker 3: be like, oh my god, I hope they're okay. If

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Speaker 3: I was at a party someone fell ran out crying,

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Speaker 3: then they never came back, and then I hear from

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Speaker 3: everyone that she canceled her wedding and blocked all our friends.

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Speaker 3: I would never forget.

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Speaker 2: That's a core memory for me, for every single person there.

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Speaker 2: So have fun with that. Op's ex fiance. We're gonna

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Speaker 2: remember it too forever.

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Speaker 3: But there is an edit. Our wedding was scheduled for

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Speaker 3: the summer, and we had been together for a few

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Speaker 3: years since around post college, after knowing each other in college.

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Speaker 3: This was the first that I had ever seen her

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Speaker 3: embarrassed in front of other people in such a way.

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Speaker 3: But when others asked if she had shown similar reactions

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Speaker 3: to things not going her way in the past, this

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Speaker 3: was the first embarrassment like this. I don't know if

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Speaker 3: she's faced similar things at her job, but she does

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Speaker 3: not work at a customer facing company and never told

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Speaker 3: me if she ever did. In some of his comments,

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Speaker 3: Obi seemed to come to terms with how he made

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Speaker 3: never find all of the answers to what happened. Obi says,

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Speaker 3: I really don't know what else I could have done,

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Speaker 3: and that I would have been wrong to just watch

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Speaker 3: and do nothing and assume she was fine, as her

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Speaker 3: texts apparently wanted the fact that she fell and didn't

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Speaker 3: want help and got mad over people coming to help,

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Speaker 3: or made me think it was pride, although someone else

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Speaker 3: suggested that maybe it triggered an old memory of a

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Speaker 3: gymnastics fall or something some people recommended therapy, and I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to see what slash if my insurance covers. But

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Speaker 3: I'm still trying to get past everything and trying to

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Speaker 3: understan that I'll probably never know all of the answers,

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Speaker 3: which sucks for closure, but still like people are gonna

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Speaker 3: be like, oh, like, if you ever get into another relationship,

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Speaker 3: they're gonna be like, what happened to your last relationship?

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Speaker 3: And you're like, yeah, I almost got married and then

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Speaker 3: she fell at a party and blocked everyone, so you.

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Speaker 1: Know it's silver lining.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you didn't marry a dumb nerd who can't do

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Speaker 2: a handstand, even after she hyped herself up.

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Speaker 3: And that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: My fiance revealed his secret child. Whow, I'm already pregnant Ooo?

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Speaker 3: Was it before the engagement or after?

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Speaker 1: Oh well, let's find out.

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Speaker 2: I've been with my fiance for a year and three

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Speaker 2: months and I am six months pregnant. I know we

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Speaker 2: moved very fast with our engagement and getting pregnant. And

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Speaker 2: by the way, this comes from user throwaway known ice

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Speaker 2: eight on the r slash okay storytime sub rereddit, so

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Speaker 2: I know it was not a very rational decision, but

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Speaker 2: somehow it seemed right at the time. We have had

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Speaker 2: some fights, but in general things deemed good and we

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Speaker 2: have been very excited about meeting our baby soon. Yesterday,

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Speaker 2: my fiance sat me down and told me we needed

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Speaker 2: to talk about something. He told me he was very

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Speaker 2: sorry he did not tell me sooner, and that he

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Speaker 2: was afraid I might leave and he was ashamed. He

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Speaker 2: also told me that he understands that I might leave

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Speaker 2: after what he tells me. He told me that he

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Speaker 2: has a child with his ex. They were together years

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Speaker 2: ago for eight years, but met up several years later

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Speaker 2: and had some casualists spicy times, and she got pregnant unexpectedly.

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Speaker 2: They did not get together after that, but she wanted

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Speaker 2: to keep the baby. He started dating someone else that

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Speaker 2: did not work, and then he met me. The child

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Speaker 2: is one year and three months old. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: it's the same amount of time since they started dating.

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Speaker 2: So she was born right around the time we had

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Speaker 2: started dating, but we had been dating for.

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Speaker 1: About two weeks. Back then.

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Speaker 2: He told me he had to go on a week

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Speaker 2: long business trip, but actually he was at the hospital

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Speaker 2: and his daughter was born. He has told me that

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Speaker 2: he goes to the gym almost every day for about

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Speaker 2: three hours, but in reality, he also used that time

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Speaker 2: to see his daughter. The mother of his child does

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Speaker 2: not know he's engaged with me and that I am pregnant.

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Speaker 2: He tells me they just do not talk about these

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Speaker 2: kinds of things. She has also blocked me on Facebook,

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Speaker 2: even though I have never tried to contact her. He

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Speaker 2: told me she does not want to know anything about me,

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Speaker 2: and that she would probably want to be with him,

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Speaker 2: but he does not have feelings for her. I asked him,

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Speaker 2: how come she still has feelings for him if he's

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Speaker 2: been clear with her that he doesn't want a relationship

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Speaker 2: and it's been two years since their casualist spices sleep.

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Speaker 1: He told me quote, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I guess I'm just that gy I'm having a hard

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Speaker 2: time processing all of this. My fiance said he feels

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Speaker 2: better now after getting it off of his chest. He

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Speaker 2: says he understands I need time to think about the situation,

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Speaker 2: but he also says he doesn't want to wait forever

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Speaker 2: for me to decide whether I want to continue this

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Speaker 2: relationship or not. He wanted me to his daughter today,

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Speaker 2: but I said it was too soon for me now.

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Speaker 2: He has bought some diapers and other stuff for when

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Speaker 2: she comes over. He asked me if I would be

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Speaker 2: ready tomorrow. We have not yet bought much for the

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Speaker 2: nursery for our baby, but now he suddenly wants to

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Speaker 2: hurry up and buy a bed for the nursery so

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Speaker 2: that his daughter could stay the night before our baby

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Speaker 2: is born.

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Speaker 1: Is this like a hustle?

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Speaker 2: He's like, I'll have one baby with this woman, and

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Speaker 2: then I'll have another woman who I'm also having a

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Speaker 2: baby with.

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Speaker 1: And make the nursery for my first kid.

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Speaker 2: Then I'll leave the second woman and have a third

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Speaker 2: woman take care of my second child. It's like a

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00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:39,199
Speaker 2: multi level marketing scheme for having children baby.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy.

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00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,840
Speaker 2: I feel overwhelmed trying to process all this information and

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00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,240
Speaker 2: also sad that the nursery I have been planning for

307
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,240
Speaker 2: our baby will not just be for our baby. This

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00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,520
Speaker 2: is not how I imagined having my first child. What

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Speaker 2: are your thoughts on this? Has anyone ever been in

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00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,880
Speaker 2: a similar situation? How to process all this and to

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Speaker 2: move forward? And we do have some comments and unfortunately

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00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,360
Speaker 2: for op, but I guess fortunately for me, I have

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Speaker 2: not been in this situation.

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Speaker 3: I honestly think this is these I mean obviously showing

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00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 3: giant yacht full of red flags, like the biggest boat

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Speaker 3: full of red flags.

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Speaker 2: Just like a meteor in the shape of a red flag,

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Speaker 2: exactly like you're watching through a telescope.

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Speaker 3: No, this is a continent full of red flags. And

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Speaker 3: I usually i'd be like, you know, maybe we can

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Speaker 3: figure you're about to have a baby. Maybe you could

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Speaker 3: figure it out. I don't know if you can. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: This is the fact that his reaction to him lying

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Speaker 3: for a year and a half to you is, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm so glad I got that off my chest.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what can you see my baby?

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Speaker 3: And you're like, give me a second to breathe and

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Speaker 3: take this in and he's like, okay tomorrow. What.

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00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy. This guy is.

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Speaker 2: He is red.

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Speaker 3: I would say like, if you could go to therapy

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00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,040
Speaker 3: just for to work on being co parents, maybe you

333
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 3: can get full custody. But I was say separation or

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00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 3: divorce or not. You're not even divorce, just be a breakup. Yeah,

335
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,200
Speaker 3: tell you here's the comment. I'm that great, bro, get

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00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,040
Speaker 3: over yourself.

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00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,560
Speaker 2: I think you need to find a way to reach

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00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 2: out to his ex to confirm his story, because it's

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00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,640
Speaker 2: all pretty convenient that you can't reach out to her,

340
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,920
Speaker 2: and that he was already broken up when you guys met,

341
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,320
Speaker 2: but she was still pregnant. It's also convenient that he

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00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 2: got the courage to tell you about this after you

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00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:23,400
Speaker 2: couldn't terminate anymore. He sounds like he's baby trapping you.

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00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,000
Speaker 2: I'm not sure, so please please please reach out to

345
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,000
Speaker 2: the X. There is definitely more to the story. He

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00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,120
Speaker 2: wants you to be a babysitter for his kid when

347
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,200
Speaker 2: he's one hundred percent still sleeping with the X. Tell

348
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,600
Speaker 2: him his kid can come to your house after you

349
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 2: meet the mama in person. Watch how quickly he tries

350
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 2: to squirm out of that. You need to find and

351
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,600
Speaker 2: talk to this woman. He's lying to both of you, Oh,

352
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:49,040
Speaker 2: he says. I told him I want to contact her,

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00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,160
Speaker 2: either by writing to her or face to face. He

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00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,040
Speaker 2: told me he will tell her tomorrow that I would

355
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 2: like to meet face to face. Also, I found her

356
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 2: Instagram and he saw that. He got upset and told

357
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,680
Speaker 2: me I should not right to her on there, even

358
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 2: though I was not planning on doing it right away.

359
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,800
Speaker 2: I told him that if she does not agree to

360
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:09,680
Speaker 2: meet in person, I am going to contact her on Instagram.

361
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 2: He said, I'm being a bully because she has said

362
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,880
Speaker 2: she doesn't want to talk to me. He said, I'm

363
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 2: treating him badly by threatening to contact her, and that

364
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,080
Speaker 2: it's not my place to tell her things. Yeah, look

365
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 2: at that guy just immediately trying to weasel. Ah. Wait, no,

366
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 2: don't talk to her because then you'd be a bully.

367
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 2: And trust me, she doesn't want to talk to you,

368
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 2: so you don't want to be mean.

369
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 3: Are you being so mean to me?

370
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 2: You're hurting my feelings. He also said she's mentally unstable

371
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,440
Speaker 2: and has threatened self harm in the past.

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00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 1: He said he's.

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Speaker 2: Afraid of how it will affect her when I contact her,

374
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,640
Speaker 2: that she might want to continue this behavior, or that

375
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 2: she might start to keep his daughter from him, which hey,

376
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 2: she probably should, you gross scumbag.

377
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,480
Speaker 3: Yeah. Also dependent on the custody agreement, she wouldn't be

378
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,800
Speaker 3: able to do that unless she had full custody, and

379
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,920
Speaker 3: if she had full custody, maybe there's a reason for that.

380
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,480
Speaker 2: Firstly, I want to thank everyone who responded to my

381
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,080
Speaker 2: original post. There were so many comments and I tried

382
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 2: to read through all of them. Many of you recommended

383
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,080
Speaker 2: that I find a way to contact the mother of

384
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,480
Speaker 2: his child, as she has blocked me on Facebook, I

385
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,320
Speaker 2: couldn't message her there. I did message her on Instagram,

386
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,200
Speaker 2: but she didn't respond. I don't know if she even

387
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 2: saw my message request. I told my fiance that it

388
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,000
Speaker 2: was necessary for me to talk to her, either on

389
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,240
Speaker 2: the phone or in person. He told me she didn't

390
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 2: want to talk to me, but as I insisted on it,

391
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:26,399
Speaker 2: he convinced her. When he was visiting her and his daughter,

392
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,119
Speaker 2: he called me and let me talk to her on speakerphone.

393
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,400
Speaker 2: She confirmed that she had blocked me because she had

394
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,640
Speaker 2: blocked all of his girlfriends because she does not want

395
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:34,439
Speaker 2: any communication.

396
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,640
Speaker 3: Really quick, I'm imagining, he goes, yeah, you can talk

397
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:43,480
Speaker 3: to her one sec. Hello, this is Opie's fiance's X. Yeah,

398
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,520
Speaker 3: it's definitely not Opie's fiance. Yeah, yeah, Oh, OPI's fiance

399
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,639
Speaker 3: is so handsome.

400
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 2: Or literally just hiring any other woman to just pretend,

401
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,480
Speaker 2: because Opie has no frame of reference for that person.

402
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,720
Speaker 2: She told me they have not been together since the

403
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 2: third month of her pregnant, but there were some false

404
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 2: hopes involved. She said she now has found out we

405
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,480
Speaker 2: are engaged and I'm pregnant, and before that, she just

406
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 2: blocked me because she saw me calling him once. He

407
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 2: has told me she has always said she does not

408
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 2: want to know anything about his personal life, and that

409
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,480
Speaker 2: is why he has hidden that he lives with me

410
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,000
Speaker 2: and everything else about us. I asked her if she

411
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,560
Speaker 2: would be willing to unblock me on Facebook so that

412
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 2: we can talk some more, and she said she does

413
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,119
Speaker 2: not want to intervene, But I want to intervene right

414
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,399
Speaker 2: now to let all of you know that you can

415
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 2: join us when we go live every weekday on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok,

416
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,639
Speaker 2: and Twitch. All you have to do is tap on

417
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,800
Speaker 2: our profile little tip tap, tippity tap.

418
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,359
Speaker 3: Wait until three PMPSD, and then go tiptap it.

419
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,200
Speaker 1: We might even be live right now.

420
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 2: Good tech, you are watching this, but before you check,

421
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,160
Speaker 2: we are going to finish this story.

422
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 1: I think where we're at right now is you don't

423
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 1: want to be with this guy. I don't think you.

424
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,440
Speaker 1: I don't know that the X is also giving me

425
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 1: weird vibes.

426
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 3: Shady I'm getting shady vibes from her.

427
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, I'm still questioning if that X is

428
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 1: even really the real X.

429
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 3: I don't buy it.

430
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 1: I think that's fishy on here.

431
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 2: Oh he needs all right, let's finish this story from

432
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 2: now on. He has been very open about when she

433
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,440
Speaker 2: calls or messages him. They have only talked about their child,

434
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 2: and he agreed to share his location with me all

435
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,479
Speaker 2: the time, suggested going to couples counseling, and has been

436
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,160
Speaker 2: extra attentive towards me these past days. He has apologized

437
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 2: to me countless times and asked me what he can

438
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 2: do to rebuild trust between us. I do not know

439
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,440
Speaker 2: if there is a way to get trust back. It

440
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 2: seems to me that he was not having an affair,

441
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 2: but hiding his child from me and hiding me from

442
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 2: the mother of his child is still a huge lie.

443
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,200
Speaker 2: I cannot believe he would do something like this. And

444
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,320
Speaker 2: there's a comment here, are you going to be the

445
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 2: new ex he has a secret child with while he

446
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 2: starts going to the gym for six hours, while he

447
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,199
Speaker 2: stays with a new woman to impregnate the There were

448
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,360
Speaker 2: some false hopes involved. Yeah, I think all that to say,

449
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 2: you can leave this man. I don't know if there

450
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,119
Speaker 2: is a way to rebuild the trust of secret child

451
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 2: that was born the moment we started dating that was

452
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 2: actually his child's mother on the phone, too much, lying

453
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 2: over too long a period of time, and all of

454
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,919
Speaker 2: a sudden, he wants you to start believing him. Now

455
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 2: he's offering up his location and his phone. He's just

456
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 2: gotten better at hiding it. He has you where he

457
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 2: wants you, pregnant and dependent on him. Don't delude yourself.

458
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

459
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,400
Speaker 1: And I agree.

460
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 2: Wholeheartedly with both of those comments to me too, please

461
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,959
Speaker 2: leave and if you want to do anything, maybe try

462
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 2: to figure out co parenting. But also that is the

463
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 2: end of that story.

464
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 3: My parents keep criticizing my fiance, and I feel guilty

465
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 3: that I can't defend him. It's time to challenge your

466
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,640
Speaker 3: parents to do at non Hello everybody. I usually lurk

467
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 3: in communities as I'm a huge introvert off and online,

468
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 3: but I started to question myself about how good of

469
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 3: a partner I am for my fiance. Hence why I

470
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 3: ask for your judgment and you will receive it. No

471
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,239
Speaker 3: real name are used, and please excuse my English as

472
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 3: it's not my native tongue. My fiance, Jeosh thirty male,

473
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 3: and I thirty female, met around seven years ago in Europe,

474
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 3: where I immigrated and worked in my family small business.

475
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 3: While I was not love at first sight, we slowly

476
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 3: fell for each other and after a year we became

477
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 3: official and exclusive. By the way, this comes from Mamumsnoso

478
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 3: on the Okay storytime suppered it. So I introduced Josh

479
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 3: to my parents, which is not the norm in my culture.

480
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 3: Usually people of my native country introduced their partners when

481
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 3: they decide to marry and ask their parents permission. However,

482
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 3: my ex had once kidnapped me and none of my

483
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,639
Speaker 3: family knew where I was or who I was with.

484
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:43,679
Speaker 3: That's crazy.

485
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, well maybe good thing that guy's your ex. That's

486
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 2: got to be a pretty universal red flag, right.

487
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 3: I decided to introduce each other and ask them to

488
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 3: exchange contacts in case something happens to me. After the introduction,

489
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 3: I openly told my parents where and when I was

490
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 3: meeting Josh for safety reason. My parents were happy about

491
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 3: our relationship for about six months. Then everything spiled downwards.

492
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 3: I don't quite remember what started the argument, but it

493
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 3: had led to my mom finding out that I had

494
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 3: spent time over at Josh's place. She called me in

495
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 3: oar for it, and my mind went blank. After being excused,

496
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 3: I went to my room, crying and messaging Josh about

497
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,159
Speaker 3: how my mom and I had an argument and how

498
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 3: it really hurt me. Josh got angry and wrote a

499
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 3: respectful message to my mom about how he hopes that

500
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,359
Speaker 3: my mom and I can settle our differences, but calling

501
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 3: me names was out of line good partner. My mom

502
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 3: flipped out, screaming that he had no right to talk

503
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 3: to her like that and to tell the elders what

504
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 3: to do. Immediately, my parents started giving me more work

505
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 3: and business trips and asking me to take care of

506
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 3: my brother while they were on business trips. I was

507
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,959
Speaker 3: very overworked and stressed, and I was only excused from

508
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 3: all of it when my brother needed help. Furthermore, my

509
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 3: parents would give me so many stupid reasons on why

510
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 3: Josh and I should break up, such as financial differences

511
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 3: or that I would date sash Mary, someone of my nationality.

512
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 3: In the height of stress, I once did try to

513
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 3: break it off with Josh, but he wanted to stay

514
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 3: in the relationship even though he knew that he was

515
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 3: not welcomed in my family. It was then when I

516
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 3: noticed how much I loved Josh and how grateful I

517
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 3: am for him. I told him that I want to

518
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 3: try again, but that I cannot keep up with all

519
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 3: the stress and pressure that my parents were giving me.

520
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 3: For the next two years, Josh taught me a valuable

521
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 3: lesson in boundaries and taking care of my mental slash

522
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 3: physical health. Whenever I tried to put them into practice,

523
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,880
Speaker 3: my mom would alaim how her lovely daughter has changed

524
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 3: due to Josh's bad influence. Tension kept rising till one

525
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 3: day things erupted. I won't go into more details because

526
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 3: the post is already pretty long and this is just backstory.

527
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 3: Long story short. I moved out of my parents' house

528
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 3: after they said they'll put my two rescue cats in

529
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 3: their transport box and throw them out in the middle

530
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 3: of winter.

531
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: Them's there's fotten words for me, don't touch my kitty.

532
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 3: I tried to take my cats out of my house,

533
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 3: but my parents caught me and started getting physical. Josh

534
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 3: heard me screaming while he was waiting outside and called

535
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 3: the police. I think, honestly, maybe you need to cut

536
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 3: your parents off.

537
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: This sounds like a kind of leave and say I'll

538
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: never see you again.

539
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 3: And you also have a really great support system in Josh,

540
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,880
Speaker 3: who seems to time after time being supportive, and also

541
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 3: the fact that he's like, you try to break up

542
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: on it and he's like, no, that's not what you want.

543
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 3: Your parents are trying. The next few months were hazy

544
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 3: for me. I moved into Josh's small apartment and immediately

545
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 3: started looking for jobs so I can finally be independent

546
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 3: and away from my parents. Also, after much convincing from Josh,

547
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 3: I went to a psychiatrist and therapist and was diagnosed

548
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 3: with severe depression and anxiety with PTSD. I mean, like OP,

549
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 3: he's gone through so much this year. I am living

550
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 3: together with Josh and are two cats and a dog.

551
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 3: I'm still getting treatments, but years of masking my depression

552
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 3: and anxiety caught up to the point where I was

553
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 3: deemed no longer fit to work. Josh was happy to

554
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 3: be the breadwinner of the household, and I had enough

555
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 3: savings to help out with half of the bills and

556
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 3: all costs regarding our pets. My parents begrudgingly accepted Josh

557
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 3: as my partner and acted civil around him. They still

558
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,199
Speaker 3: are upset with Josh calling the police for a family

559
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 3: dispute where you were attacking opee.

560
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 1: It's all in the family, Josh, you don't understand. Well,

561
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: that's what it seems like.

562
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 3: It seems like they want complete control over Ope and

563
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 3: anyone who tries to push back against that is supposing.

564
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 2: Them, which is toxic.

565
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 3: A f and told me that they will never forgive

566
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 3: him for it, but are willing to be nice as

567
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 3: long as Josh and I are in a relationship. They

568
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 3: were also insistent on me moving back to my native

569
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 3: country for a tryout. Throughout the years, I was unwilling

570
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: to move back due to all the support network system

571
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,239
Speaker 3: that Josh and I made with the big help from

572
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 3: his family. Also, I also knew that my country's culture

573
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 3: and view on mental health did not fit me. But

574
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 3: after years of talking and our about it, I decided

575
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 3: I will try living in my country for one year

576
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 3: with the condition that I live with my partner. Josh,

577
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 3: being the best partner ever, dropped everything to go to

578
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 3: my country for a year. He understood that my parents

579
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 3: will never drop the subject until I try it for

580
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 3: a year. Furthermore, it was a good opportunity for him

581
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 3: to have a one year break and focus on healing

582
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 3: his recent development of disc prolapse. We also made several

583
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 3: conditions on when we should move back to Europe a SAP.

584
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 3: It has been about half a year since we moved

585
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 3: to the country, and not surprisingly, my mental health deteriorated

586
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 3: to the point where I am struggling with work once more.

587
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,719
Speaker 1: Parents suck boo.

588
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 3: The answer is very much not moved back to where

589
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 3: your parents have more of a you know, more control

590
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 3: over you. I think you need more distance from them.

591
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 3: Josh is doing everything to support me and help me.

592
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 3: He would wake up early every day to make breakfast,

593
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 3: wake me up, help me go to work. As I

594
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 3: started to struggle with daily tasks. While I work, Josh

595
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 3: would clean, take care of her pets, work on his

596
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 3: physical rehab, and do some side work. There are also

597
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 3: days when I'm alone due to Josh traveling. During his travel,

598
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 3: I would ask my parents to come and help me.

599
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 3: This works perfectly because Josh gets to travel around Asia

600
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 3: as he always wanted, and also meet his friends and

601
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 3: family whenever they visit. As much as I need support,

602
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 3: we both know that he also needs time to enjoy himself.

603
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 3: A few months ago, I was unable to work for

604
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 3: two weeks due to my depression worsening. My parents found

605
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 3: out about my condition as I'm getting treatment from a

606
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 3: psychiatrist who is also a very close family friend. That

607
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 3: seems illegal. They shouldn't be sharing that information with your parents.

608
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 3: In our country, it is not illegal to share parents

609
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 3: information with a guardian. In this case, my parents, how

610
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 3: how old are you? They're not your guardian anymore. I

611
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 3: had to make an emergency call to my psychiatrist due

612
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 3: to my worsening condition, which led to my psychiatrists notifying

613
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 3: my parents. Every time my mom and I called, she

614
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 3: would say how Josh is no out help and that

615
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 3: he should have forced me to work or dragged me

616
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 3: out of bed.

617
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 2: Real nice portrait of why, oh, he shouldn't be living

618
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 2: with you guys, Like, that's not how that works.

619
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 3: You need to get so far away from these people.

620
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,719
Speaker 3: I got upset and told her everything that Josh has

621
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 3: done for me and that she should be happy because

622
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 3: if it wasn't for Josh, I wouldn't even try living

623
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 3: in the country. After several times of mom berating Josh again,

624
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 3: I finally snapped and told her that what Josh is

625
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 3: doing may not be enough through the lens of a mother,

626
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 3: but he is absolutely doing the best he can He

627
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,479
Speaker 3: always asked what he should do to help me get up,

628
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 3: how he can help, and so on. I listed all

629
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 3: the things Josh has done for me throughout and how

630
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 3: much he helped me. I told my mom that I

631
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 3: would not have been alive if it wasn't for Josh

632
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 3: pushing me to get help. Even his family supported and

633
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 3: stayed with me when Josh was not available. As I

634
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 3: was discrediting her arguments on Josh's lack of support, she

635
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 3: kept on making different reasons on why Josh was not

636
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 3: a good partner. In the end, she said that I'm

637
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 3: the protector of our relationship, whereas Josh should be the

638
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 3: one to do all the protecting. I think my interpretation

639
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 3: of that is like you need to make the home

640
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 3: nice and like make him want to stay with you,

641
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 3: but he needs to protect you from all outside problems

642
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 3: and stuff like be the man of the relationship.

643
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 2: I'm almost interpreting it as like she's trying to do

644
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 2: like the gotcha where it's like, shouldn't Josh be the

645
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 2: one defending you guys instead of you because you're the

646
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 2: one defending your relationship to me, And it's like it's

647
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: because you're the one asking me all the time and

648
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: trying to tell me that Josh sucks.

649
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like, I don't know.

650
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: You don't have a real argument there, I don't know.

651
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 3: I reminded her that Josh quit his job, left his

652
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 3: friends and family in Europe to come with me, where

653
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 3: he is absolutely no support except for me. That is

654
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 3: my duty as a partner to protect him. Although my

655
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 3: mom at the last word, because the argument will never

656
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 3: end unless she does, I thought my mom would finally

657
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: realize that her complaints about Josh are not welcomed. After

658
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 3: our argument, she kept saying how she'll bey to Josh

659
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 3: as long as I love him and am in a

660
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 3: relationship with him.

661
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 2: I'm believing immediately like she's like, I'll just put up

662
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 2: with this guy that you love and want to spend

663
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 2: like maybe your life with. It's like, yeah, bye bye,

664
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: I'm going back to Europe with to his family who

665
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 2: actually loves both of us.

666
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 3: Skip forward to last week. I could no longer be active.

667
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 3: I stopped driving in fear of causing accidents and struggled

668
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 3: to walk my dog every day. I couldn't go to

669
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 3: places because everything became overwhelming and everything was too loud. Again,

670
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 3: this led to me not going to work again. Josh

671
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 3: got super worried, but I wanted him to spend quality

672
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 3: time with his sister, who visited all the way from Europe,

673
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 3: and told him not to worry about me and go travel. Yesterday,

674
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 3: my mom found me lying down on the sofa, unable

675
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 3: to welcome her. She looked around the apartment where everything

676
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 3: was a mess, and started shouting at me that Josh

677
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 3: never cleans. She then went on with her argument about

678
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 3: it Josh is abandoning me because he prioritizes his enjoyment

679
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 3: over my well being and so on. I don't remember

680
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 3: everything she said, but I was just too tired to

681
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 3: say anything and just listen to everything as she kept

682
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 3: talking about how Josh is a horrible person and is

683
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 3: not a good partner for me. This went on for

684
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 3: three hours. You need to go limited or no contact

685
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 3: with your parents.

686
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: Can you imagine talking at someone for three hours, not one,

687
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 2: not two, three hours of blah blah blah blah blah

688
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah, and the other.

689
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: Person is just stone faced, not acknowledging you insane.

690
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 3: After that, she got a call, so I took mine

691
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 3: and her dog for a walk as I started walking,

692
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 3: my foggy mind began to clear, and I noticed I

693
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 3: did not stand up for Josh. I immediately texted Josh,

694
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 3: telling the situation that I was really sorry that I

695
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 3: didn't defend his honor. I felt horrible because I knew

696
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 3: that Josh would have defended me in whatever situation. Pausing

697
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 3: really quick, it seems like almost the whole story, you

698
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 3: have been defending him. Yeah, And I don't know if

699
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 3: it would have helped you to be like, well, that's

700
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 3: not true when your mom is ranting for three hours.

701
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 3: I don't think it would have changed her mind.

702
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: Impossible. At this point, I.

703
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 3: Remembered how everyone who supports him is in Europe and

704
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 3: that I'm the only one who he can rely on.

705
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 3: I am so grateful that he dropped everything to help

706
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 3: me to support me, but I didn't do the same

707
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 3: for him. Josh replied that he's completely fine that I

708
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 3: didn't stand up for him because he understands my complicated

709
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 3: relationship with my mom. But I can't stop feeling bad

710
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,479
Speaker 3: about it. The worst part is I don't know if

711
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 3: I'll have the energy to keep standing up for my

712
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 3: partner while my mom is here. I really want to

713
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 3: but I don't know if I can. I feel really

714
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 3: conflicted about this and immense guilt feeling like a horrible

715
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 3: partner for Josh. So would I be a bad partner

716
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 3: if I don't have the mental energy to stand up

717
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 3: for my partner? And there is an update, But any

718
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 3: final thoughts before we get into that.

719
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 2: Clearly, the answer there is no, it doesn't make you

720
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 2: a bad person. It's like, even if you had the

721
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: best defense lawyer on the planet, I'm sure they wouldn't

722
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 2: be able to convince your mom that Josh is anything

723
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: but a bad dude.

724
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 3: Because I mean, like I think sometimes when you have

725
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 3: parents or just people like this who are so set

726
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 3: in their way, facts aren't going to change their mind.

727
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 3: They're gonna stick where they are.

728
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: And it doesn't sound like you're in a position either

729
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 2: where you can just be like, please stop, because then

730
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: she just go look at now, Josh is making you

731
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 2: argue with me, and it's like, you.

732
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 3: Don't respect your mom, and this is Josh's influence.

733
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 1: You're a mom that doesn't deserve respect.

734
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

735
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I think that you need to put some

736
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 3: distance between you and your parents because it's not healthy

737
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 3: for you and it seems to be negatively impacting you

738
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 3: a lot. There's an update. I noticed many of you

739
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 3: saying that I should go back to Europe asap. Josh

740
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 3: and I already discussed leaving the country earlier than the

741
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 3: one year mark that I have promised to try out.

742
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 3: We're still figuring out when, since there are issues with

743
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 3: the apartment contract and all the furniture that we have

744
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 3: to get rid of before we terminate the contract. I'm

745
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 3: also going to try telling my parents about our decision,

746
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 3: which is going to require a lot of courage for me. Sorry,

747
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 3: I didn't make this clear from the start. I thought

748
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 3: this information was not required for the post.

749
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 2: Update two.

750
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 3: Just wanted to make things clear. I had a great

751
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 3: mental health support in Europe. Josh and his family helped

752
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 3: me find a good fitting psychiatrist and therapist that I

753
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 3: eventually settled on after meeting a few The reason why

754
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 3: I'm getting treatment by a family friend is because my

755
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 3: mom as complete trust in her, and she's the psychiatrist

756
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 3: that finally got my mom to understand the severity of

757
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: my mental health. Well, she apparently doesn't understand how to

758
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 3: not make it worse.

759
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,760
Speaker 1: Your mom doesn't understand shit about mental health.

760
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 3: Like she may understand that it exists, but that's the

761
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 3: extent of it.

762
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 2: She understands that she doesn't really care about it because

763
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 2: she's like your husband should have been dragging you out

764
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 2: of bed and telling you to get back to work.

765
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 3: She doesn't care, like doesn't want to understand. Also, I

766
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 3: do need a psychiatrist to get a prescription and a

767
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 3: professional to make sure that I'm safely in taking meds.

768
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 3: By the way, we want to make sure that you're

769
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 3: safely joining us live every weekday three pmpst on YouTube,

770
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 3: Facebook and TikTok.

771
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 2: Yes, please don't do it while you I have a

772
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: little vehicle, little any other such activities. Do tell me

773
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 2: you have got your free, your hands free, Sit down

774
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 2: in a nice comfortable spot, maybe in your house or

775
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 2: at the park, sit underneath a nice shady tree on

776
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 2: a hot summer day, and then tap our profile and

777
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 2: tap that profile.

778
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 3: There is a little bit left to the story. Do

779
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 3: you have any other final thoughts?

780
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: I think we've hit them all pretty squarely.

781
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 3: My original psychiatrist and therapist are always happy to talk

782
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 3: to me via phone and email to give me further advice.

783
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 3: But there's only so much they can do when they're

784
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:34,800
Speaker 3: almost ten thousand kilometers away. Mental health facilities are not

785
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 3: as developed in my country that you just need a

786
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 3: six month course to be certified to become a therapist.

787
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 3: I am currently just seeing a psychiatrist who has a

788
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,399
Speaker 3: doctorate degree. But after I learned that she was telling

789
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 3: my mom about my private info, I don't talk to

790
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 3: her about myself as much except for any conditions related

791
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,240
Speaker 3: to meds. And that is the end of that story.

792
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 3: But man, oh man, go back to Europe with your partner.

793
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 1: I hope it's the beginning of the story of op

794
00:35:58,840 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: going back.

795
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 3: To your I sure, hope. So that is the end

796
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 3: of that story.

797
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

798
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,439
Speaker 2: Here. We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

799
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 2: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

800
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 3: My girlfriend and I are having intimacy problems and now

801
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,720
Speaker 3: she wants to explore with women.

802
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 2: You get the best of both worlds.

803
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 3: I thirty nine male, was told yesterday by my bye

804
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 3: partner let's call her Jane, that she thirty seven female,

805
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 3: wants to be able to exploit her explore her by

806
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 3: aspect with women. By the way, this comes from median

807
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 3: Guy thirteen on the Okay Storytime subvered it. So she's

808
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,320
Speaker 3: never been with a woman before and grew up in

809
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 3: a standard, repressed Midwestern household and really only came to

810
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 3: terms with her bonus about five five ish years ago.

811
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 3: Some background. We've been struggling with our spicy sleep life

812
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,320
Speaker 3: for around seven years now due to a libido mismatch.

813
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 3: I would like to have spicy sleep more often than

814
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 3: we do, which is around once or twice a month.

815
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:00,800
Speaker 3: We have talked about this quite a bit and have

816
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 3: been trying to work on it together. When we do

817
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 3: have spicy sleep, we both enjoy ourselves, I believe, but

818
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 3: the past few years have been a struggle for me,

819
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 3: and my self esteem around my looks has been in

820
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:11,800
Speaker 3: the dumpster.

821
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 2: Oh man, that sucks.

822
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 3: A few weeks ago, Jane brought up the idea of

823
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 3: seeing a spicy sleep therapist to help us with counseling

824
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 3: as a couple and to work on what I thought

825
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 3: was the libido mispatch. I was a little reticent, but

826
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 3: I thought that improving our communication could only be helpful,

827
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 3: so I agreed. We set up an initial console with

828
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 3: a person that was scheduled yesterday Monday. On Friday, night.

829
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 3: We were cuddling with the intention of having spicy sleep,

830
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: when suddenly she started blurting out how we would be

831
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 3: working on some really new things in our relationship with

832
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 3: the therapist, but we could talk about it. Then I

833
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 3: stopped her and told her that it felt kind of

834
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 3: cruel to drop a statement like that for me to

835
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 3: ste with for forty eight hours. Jane then said that

836
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 3: it was really nothing new and that she had just

837
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 3: had a hard time talking about her BIS with me.

838
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 3: I let it drop at that, and I was as

839
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 3: I was caught off guards since I already knew she

840
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 3: was by years prior. We had not great spicy sleep,

841
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 3: which was because I was distracted. Several times over the weekend,

842
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 3: Jane tried to initiate spicy sleep with me, which was

843
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 3: a lot for her, but I politely declined. Finally, on Sunday,

844
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 3: she asked me if we were okay, and I replied,

845
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 3: I don't know. You tell me. She told me that

846
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,320
Speaker 3: she loves me and isn't going to go anywhere. She

847
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 3: loves our life together. I left it at that.

848
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, if you've got like twice a month

849
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 2: for seven years, y'all, probably you have to love each other.

850
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, yesterday Monday, we were scheduled for our initial consul

851
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 3: with the therapist. About an hour before, Jane asked me

852
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 3: if I want to talk? So I say yes, let's

853
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 3: I ask her what's going on. She reiterates that she

854
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 3: loves me and the life we've built, but that she

855
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 3: wants to explore her that she wants to explore her

856
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 3: byeness with women, and that she doesn't want to have

857
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 3: any regrets when she's seventy. This devastated me. After all

858
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 3: the effort to try and improve her spicy sleep life,

859
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 3: to be told basically, I'd like to f other people

860
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 3: has left me totally passed away inside. We have not

861
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 3: discussed this further since that conversation because I really needed

862
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 3: time to process as honestly, my initial reaction was just

863
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 3: to end it right there.

864
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 2: Wow.

865
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 3: I felt bad for the therapist as I was completely

866
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 3: disengaged the whole discussion. I thought we were meeting with

867
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 3: the therapist to work on our libido mismatch, and I

868
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 3: find out that really Jane wants to open up the relationship,

869
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,800
Speaker 3: which is also just like so messed up to go

870
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 3: into I mean, she she kind of warned him but

871
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 3: in a really ineffective way where he was just stressed

872
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 3: and was like, I don't know what we're going into,

873
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 3: and then they get there and it's a completely different

874
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 3: topic than what he expected. Yeah, I feel like the

875
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 3: whole thing was set up under false pretenses. A big

876
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 3: reason this all has caught me off guard is that

877
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 3: Jane has always been super sensitive about infidelity. She used

878
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 3: to be hyper jealous in the early years, and as

879
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 3: significantly improved, but still occasionally cracks jokes about other women

880
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 3: hitting on me, honestly, a thing which does not happen. Also,

881
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,839
Speaker 3: to be clear, there has been no cheating on my part,

882
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 3: and I am a very boring guy who spends his

883
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 3: time on hobbies or work. To wrap up, our relationship

884
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 3: has been a really good one and I love Jane.

885
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 3: I hate the idea of breaking up. But even if

886
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 3: our talk on Monday wasn't an ultimatum, I don't know

887
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 3: that I can get over being told if you don't

888
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 3: open up this relationship, I'm going to have regrets in

889
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 3: old age, which is fair? Which is fair? I mean, yeah,

890
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 3: since it has come up a few times, we have

891
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 3: not discussed if it would be opened both ways. I

892
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 3: assume she's going to pitch opening it up for both

893
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 3: of us. In the past, the topic has come up

894
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 3: as we have some married friends that open up their

895
00:40:55,960 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 3: relationship as well as well as several polyamorous friends. And

896
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,760
Speaker 3: so she knows I'm uninterested in that type of setup.

897
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,800
Speaker 3: And there is an update, So let's just jump in.

898
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 3: Let's let's start swimming through it updates. I took last

899
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 3: night off work so that Jane and I could sit

900
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 3: and have an in depth conversation. I told her that

901
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 3: I felt like there was a lot of that there

902
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 3: was a lot she was holding back, so we dug

903
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:24,959
Speaker 3: into her feelings about her spicy sleep, reuality, and other women.

904
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 3: After a bit of back and forth, we arrived at

905
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 3: that she wants to be able to have spicy sleep

906
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,919
Speaker 3: with other women and that she has already picked them out.

907
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 2: Wow, she's got a pinch.

908
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 3: Oh, it gets worse, It gets worse. No, No, that

909
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 3: is that's not what you want to hear.

910
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be hard ding.

911
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 3: She thought that last point would make me better. That

912
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 3: would make me better, maybe feel better that she's not

913
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 3: just picking out randos on Tinder, but honestly knowing that

914
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: she already has them lined up. Made me feel even crappier.

915
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough.

916
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 3: I mean, she's telling you that not only is she

917
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 3: not satisfied in your relationship, but that she has other

918
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 3: people in her life who she thinks could fill that void.

919
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 3: And that's pretty harsh.

920
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, And if you want to do the worst possible thing,

921
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 2: now's the time that you try to mimic all of

922
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,720
Speaker 2: them so that she can be the one that she wants.

923
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 3: Super healthy way to go back.

924
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, don't do that. Yeah, don't do that.

925
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 3: She was also very clear that she wanted to work

926
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 3: on us with the therapist before introducing the open relationship,

927
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 3: however long that may take. We also address several other things,

928
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 3: such as her introducing those these ideas very poorly and

929
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,319
Speaker 3: setting up the therapist in a very poor manner, which

930
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 3: she readily apologized for. At least there's that I pitched

931
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 3: to her. I pitched to her a hypothetical that we

932
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 3: put in the work with the therapist. But what if

933
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 3: after some time, I say I'm not okay opening up

934
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,919
Speaker 3: the relationship. Her reply was something along the lines of, well,

935
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 3: we need to unpack why you feel this way.

936
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 2: It's just it's you break up.

937
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like not a thing.

938
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 2: If this was like not just a thought, like if

939
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 2: you have a whole roster that you've already built, like

940
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 2: you just and and and your partners like, no, I'm not,

941
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,720
Speaker 2: then it's time to you already have the roster.

942
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

943
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: Go.

944
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: The thing is like, you don't need to unpack why

945
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 3: you don't want to be in an open relationship, like

946
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 3: he's already said why. He's like, I'm committed to you,

947
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 3: and I've already like they've already had conversations in the

948
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 3: past with about their friends who are polyamorous and or

949
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 3: or are in open relationships and Nope, he's already expressed

950
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 3: that he doesn't want to do that. So it's like,

951
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 3: you can't you can't just push someone into this. No,

952
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 3: So I think breakup is the way to go. Yes,

953
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 3: being as emotional as I am, I'm having a hard

954
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 3: time knowing how rational I'm being, But it really felt

955
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 3: like she was. But it really felt like what she

956
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 3: was suggesting was using therapy to change my mind on

957
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 3: something that not only as a firmly held belief monogamy,

958
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 3: but that has been the basis of our relationship for

959
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 3: the past fifteen years. I don't need to f and

960
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 3: unpack why I want to relate a monogamous relationship anymore

961
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 3: that I need to unpack why I f and prefer

962
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 3: women over men. I just ff and do that's not true.

963
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:14,879
Speaker 2: It goes.

964
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,800
Speaker 3: I am so tired and heartbroken. I started hunting for

965
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 3: places to live this morning. Several of you brought up divorce.

966
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 3: But I don't believe in the institution of marriage, so

967
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 3: we never got married.

968
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,879
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I guess that smooths the process over.

969
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 3: This is very normal. But I do think it's just

970
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 3: the way that I hope you phrase that. It's funny.

971
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 3: I don't believe in the institution marriage. Don't worry about that.

972
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 3: We don't have to get divorce.

973
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 2: That's literally how my old history teacher used to phrase that.

974
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 3: That's funny. Yeah, I guess that makes things a lot cleaner.

975
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 3: Thanks to everyone for your feedback. And there is another edit.

976
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 3: A few people have brought up whether the relationship was

977
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,879
Speaker 3: going to be opened both ways. I did not ask

978
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 3: because I don't give a crap. I was not looking

979
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 3: to catch her in some kind of gottcha hypocrisy. I

980
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 3: just wanted to know if my relationship was over. Others

981
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 3: have been asking me about just having antoine. I am

982
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 3: sure twenty year old me is going to pass away inside.

983
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 3: But here's the answer I posted below. By the way,

984
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 3: you can post it with us every week. I have

985
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 3: three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok. Just top our profile.

986
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: Just yeah, just tap us. We might even be live

987
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 2: right now.

988
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:22,359
Speaker 3: We probably are.

989
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 2: Before you go check on that.

990
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,439
Speaker 3: There's a little bit more to the story. But any

991
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 3: final thoughts before we finish it off.

992
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:33,280
Speaker 2: Sometimes people just like fundamentally disagree about stuff in a relationship,

993
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 2: and that just is you know, that's just the Endea.

994
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 2: Sometimes if you can't reach a compromise or something, it's

995
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 2: it's just the end of it. You don't have to

996
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: make your partner go to therapy to try to just

997
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 2: conform to the way you want them to exactly.

998
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:48,879
Speaker 3: You can't change. Yeah, you can't just bully someone into

999
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 3: changing their mind.

1000
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1001
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 3: Ah, And Pursy Greeba says, the joke is even better

1002
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,840
Speaker 3: when you explained it, Sophia.

1003
00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 2: Haha, thanks, that's the best. All the best jokes are

1004
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 2: the ones that are explained.

1005
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 3: I'm not interested in that, to be honest. My ego

1006
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 3: with regards to my spicy sleep, reality is at an

1007
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,399
Speaker 3: all time low. I'm clearly not enough for Jane ough.

1008
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 3: So even if we bring another woman into our bedroom,

1009
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 3: am I really going to enjoy that fantasy? I think

1010
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 3: it's unlikely.

1011
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 2: Well, it's not your fantasy. It's not your fantasy.

1012
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 3: It will be something new and fun for her, but

1013
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: I won't ever be able to unsee that fact or

1014
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 3: compete with it. I think this would probably wreck me

1015
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 3: even further. Dang, so yeah, youch yeah. I think I

1016
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 3: think it's time to break up.

1017
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:43,239
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, my boyfriend has strained my finances. I'm sick of

1018
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 2: arguing about money. If this post turns into rambling, oh no,

1019
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 2: I have a lot to unpack. For purposes of this post,

1020
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 2: I will be calling my boyfriend Jay thirty mail and

1021
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 2: my kid's father d thirty five male. Let's do gems

1022
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:02,839
Speaker 2: Gems and Dan Yeah, James and Derek Yeah, and Derek

1023
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 2: James Baxter. By the way, this comes from user fund

1024
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 2: mental forty two to fifty one on the r slash

1025
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 2: Okay storytime subpred it. So my boyfriend and I thirty

1026
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 2: one female got together at the end of July in

1027
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one. We met online and quickly fell for

1028
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 2: each other. Needless to say, we rushed into things and

1029
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 2: I moved four hours away to be with him. It

1030
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 2: was tricky at first because there were five kids to

1031
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 2: manage between the two of us, but we eventually made

1032
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 2: it work.

1033
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:32,359
Speaker 3: Dang.

1034
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,360
Speaker 2: When we got together, I had been separated from Derek

1035
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 2: for over a year and we were preparing for divorce.

1036
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 2: The hard part of the divorce was that the custody

1037
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 2: was not established beforehand, and it turned into a hot mess.

1038
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 2: But more on that later.

1039
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 3: Okay.

1040
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 1: When James and.

1041
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 2: I moved in together, I was working and he was

1042
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 2: receiving unemployment from COVID, so we were both able to

1043
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 2: contribute to the household until his unemployment benefits ended in

1044
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,280
Speaker 2: September of time twenty twenty one. We were all aware

1045
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 2: that this was going to happen, so we planned on

1046
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 2: him getting a job to be financially supportive and assist

1047
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 2: with the upkeep on expenses. We had agreed everything was

1048
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 2: going to be fifty to fifty and that's what happened.

1049
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 2: Fast forward to April of twenty twenty three, and he

1050
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,839
Speaker 2: had worked a total of seven days from twenty twenty

1051
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 2: one to twenty twenty three. Oh my god, yeah, I

1052
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 2: don't know how you're going to get fifty to fifty

1053
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 2: off of one week secur in days. At this point

1054
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 2: I was at my wits end, and I told him,

1055
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 2: either he gets a job or we're done. I moved

1056
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 2: in with him under the consideration, sorry, I moved in

1057
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 2: with him under the consideration that we are going to

1058
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 2: be partners with the same goals and ambitions. But that

1059
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,839
Speaker 2: was not happening, and it was very frustrating. A month

1060
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 2: after I gave the ultimatum, he had a job lined

1061
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 2: up and has since held it since June of twenty

1062
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 2: twenty three. This was supposed to be a good thing.

1063
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,840
Speaker 2: He promised, without any prompting, that he would keep one

1064
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 2: hundred dollars out of his paycheck and give me the

1065
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 2: rest for expenses due to not working for the first

1066
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 2: half of our relationship. I made it clear that I

1067
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,320
Speaker 2: wouldn't hold him to it, and that all I wanted

1068
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 2: was for him to send me half of whatever the

1069
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 2: bills were and then help with household items, which would

1070
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 2: have left him with more than what he planned on keeping.

1071
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 2: I also told him that I understood the excitement of

1072
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 2: getting your first check after not working for a long time,

1073
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 2: and told him he could keep all of the first

1074
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 2: check and start contributing after look at that hope. He

1075
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 2: was like, Hey, I don't know what it feels like

1076
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 2: to get a little money for the first times. Well,

1077
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 2: every single time I've asked for a bill, money has

1078
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 2: been the argument. At least ninety five percent of the time,

1079
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 2: I'm fronting the bills and get maybe ten percent of

1080
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 2: what I have shelled out to keep us afloat, if

1081
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 2: you could call it that.

1082
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 3: Oh, like like as an he's giving ten percent back.

1083
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're giving like ninety five percent of the bills

1084
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 2: and he's giving you ten percent back.

1085
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous.

1086
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 2: I tried speaking with him on it, and things would

1087
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 2: get better every time I talked to him, but not

1088
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 2: for long, so they wouldn't get better, is what you

1089
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 2: meant to say.

1090
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 3: So I was like, yeah, maybe I'll do that, and

1091
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,279
Speaker 3: I'll be like okay, yeah, I got provement, and then

1092
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 3: it doesn't happen.

1093
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 2: Skip ahead to summer of twenty twenty four and things

1094
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 2: take a turn for the worse. We worked for the

1095
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 2: same company and it was a nightmare for both of

1096
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 2: us because we were only able to work a maximum

1097
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 2: of two hours a day due to system issues.

1098
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my god.

1099
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 1: I wonder what kind of job they did that that

1100
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: could be a thing.

1101
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 2: This lack of hours led to all of our bills

1102
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 2: falling behind, and we are not able to crawl out

1103
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,359
Speaker 2: of the hole due to not working well. Nearly two

1104
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 2: months ago, I was able to get back to working

1105
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 2: full time, and a little over a week ago the

1106
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 2: system was fixed. This is because every single day I

1107
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,320
Speaker 2: would working at it, trying to make sure that I

1108
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 2: would be able to work. In this time, we had

1109
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 2: received an eviction notice, but I was able to work

1110
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 2: out a payment plan with the landlord that both James

1111
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 2: and I agreed on. I had communicated to him that

1112
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 2: I needed him to contribute to rent by remaining diligent

1113
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 2: with solving these tech issues. But most days he sleeped

1114
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 2: through his alarms and doesn't go in.

1115
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 3: He's not doing anything. This is a teenager that you

1116
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 3: shouldn't have to wake him up. You shouldn't have to

1117
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 3: like pressure him to go to work. He should be

1118
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 3: able to do that himself.

1119
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 2: He was thrown a line by his supervisor to help

1120
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 2: with his situation. He was told he would only need

1121
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 2: to come in two hours for four days, and the

1122
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,280
Speaker 2: rest of the time he would be able to claim unemployment.

1123
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 2: I urged him to get on top of it, because

1124
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 2: otherwise he would drag his feet or find a different job.

1125
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 2: I explained to him that it was too much of

1126
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 2: a strain to handle one hundred percent of our financial

1127
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 2: responsibility and I need him to put in the effort.

1128
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 1: Currently, he still has not.

1129
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 2: Applied for unemployment and he wants to focus on streaming

1130
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 2: video games.

1131
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 3: Why is this the classic? Like, I feel like we

1132
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 3: read so many stories where these guys are just like

1133
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 3: not doing jobs or not working at all, and then

1134
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 3: they're like, you know what, I'm gonna become a streamer.

1135
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:23,800
Speaker 2: I understand that we both got into this position, and

1136
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 2: I also understand that hard times happen, But with the

1137
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 2: previous extended term of unemployment and the issues we're having now,

1138
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 2: it seems like a pattern. There's the burp. So now

1139
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,359
Speaker 2: that the financial issues are out of the way, it's

1140
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:43,239
Speaker 2: time to backtrack to the custody situation with Derek. Oh no, oh,

1141
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 2: you're doing so much escape. You're getting from all angles.

1142
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 3: Right, It's also gonna be really messy because if op

1143
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:53,879
Speaker 3: he's trying to get custody and has eviction hanging over

1144
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 3: her and also doesn't have seemingly enough like a stable job,

1145
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 3: or maybe Derek.

1146
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 2: Can throw some support into the mix.

1147
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 3: Well yeah, but but if they're battling with custody, then

1148
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,240
Speaker 3: they're not going to give her custody if she doesn't

1149
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 3: have a place to live or a job. And I

1150
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 3: think that's the issue.

1151
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 2: Oh, it is fair. I mean, she does have the job,

1152
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 2: though he's the one without the job. Her hours are back, she's.

1153
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 3: Back on it, that's true. He's the one that's like,

1154
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 3: it's just.

1155
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 2: The boss is literally like, you can work for eight

1156
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 2: hours a week and then you can also claim full

1157
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:27,760
Speaker 2: unemployment benefits.

1158
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: And he's like, I don't wanna.

1159
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 3: To turn something into paperwork.

1160
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: Na boom.

1161
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 2: Now that the financial issues are out of the way,

1162
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:43,320
Speaker 2: we're going back to the custody situation with Derek. At first,

1163
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 2: Derek and I were amicable. They were conflicting parenting, parenting

1164
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 2: styles and some issues with cleanliness, but I was willing

1165
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 2: to work with him for the sake of my kids. Well,

1166
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 2: James took being amicable as me still having feelings for

1167
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 2: Derek and turned into a terror. This guy just keeps

1168
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 2: getting worse. I didn't do anything wrong here. I never

1169
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:07,840
Speaker 2: insinuated anything, and I was always open with James regarding

1170
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 2: my conversations with Derek. There was never any touching. But

1171
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 2: according to James, because I did not scream at him

1172
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:18,399
Speaker 2: and call him names, I could not have I could

1173
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,800
Speaker 2: not have the hatred for Derek as I claimed. I

1174
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 2: left Derek because he was manipulative, a compulsive liar, a cheater,

1175
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 2: and had been arrested on multiple occasions for theft. And

1176
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:33,359
Speaker 2: somehow this guy still feels better than.

1177
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 3: James, like, at least he's like bringing money.

1178
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 2: The spiral that ensued from being with Derek ended up

1179
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 2: with me saying in a staying in an inpatient facility

1180
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,799
Speaker 2: under supervision for seven days. It was a nightmare.

1181
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 3: James worked.

1182
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 2: Yeah those sorry, Uh yeah, that actually was pretty good.

1183
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 2: James knew all of this and told me he under stood.

1184
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 2: But I don't see how he could with assuming the

1185
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 2: worst of me. The longer James and I were together,

1186
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 2: the more he would showcase his jealousy. Examples, I couldn't

1187
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,880
Speaker 2: take my phone with me to the bathroom. What are

1188
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 2: you supposed to do in the bathroom, break up with him.

1189
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 2: I couldn't go to bed before him, break up, break up,

1190
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 2: the charge of your bedtime. I couldn't talk to anyone

1191
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 2: without him hovering over my shoulder.

1192
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 3: Break up.

1193
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:28,320
Speaker 2: Right around the time the issues turned into arguments, my

1194
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 2: children were living with me while custody was being sorted out.

1195
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 2: Due to the aforementioned cleanliness issues in Derek's home, the

1196
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:39,160
Speaker 2: court's got Child Protective Services involved with both homes, whoa

1197
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 2: The night before they came to our home, James and

1198
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 2: I had another argument which resulted in name calling in

1199
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 2: him taking off. We hadn't had a chance to clear

1200
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 2: the air with the kids after resolving the issue, so

1201
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 2: they took the case worker. So they told the caseworker

1202
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 2: he was mean to me, even though he was never

1203
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 2: aggressive towards me and I have never feared for my safety.

1204
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 2: They took their word over mine. It's understandable seeing that

1205
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 2: DV is nothing to mess around with, especially with kids involved,

1206
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 2: but this was different. Unfortunately, the argument lost me full

1207
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 2: custody with the kids, and I have struggled to cope

1208
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 2: with it. Since you mean, I'm.

1209
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 3: Sorry at that point, why have you not broken out

1210
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:22,359
Speaker 3: with them?

1211
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,239
Speaker 2: I have fought to get them back, And yes, my

1212
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 2: children want to live with me, And yes, I have

1213
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 2: spoken with Derek about the situation and we have repaired

1214
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:34,200
Speaker 2: an amicable yet distanced relationship. I have my kids over

1215
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:37,360
Speaker 2: the summer and every other weekend. It has been heartbreaking,

1216
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 2: but it's also been beneficial for the kids to remain

1217
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 2: with their friends and not have to switch schools. If

1218
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,839
Speaker 2: I leave my boyfriend, if when when?

1219
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 3: When?

1220
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it should be when. If I leave my boyfriend,

1221
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 2: there is a predetermined agreement that I will have them

1222
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 2: over half of the time and get and and things

1223
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:03,240
Speaker 2: will get better. Otherwise I go back to court for custody,

1224
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 2: which I know I will win. Please don't be harsh.

1225
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 2: Everyone walks their own paths now Here's where I may

1226
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 2: be the a hole for leaving my boyfriend.

1227
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 3: No, the good thing to do, you mean was this person?

1228
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 2: This person had to have been parentified.

1229
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 3: I feel like I just don't understand.

1230
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 2: First, we have discussed the jealousy at great lengths, and

1231
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 2: he has come a very long way from that person.

1232
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 2: He doesn't jump to conclusions, and I can have private

1233
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 2: conversations to an extent.

1234
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 3: He's come so far, Like honestly, steps This feels like

1235
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 3: a mother talking about their child, like he's doing really well.

1236
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, my kids love him and his son. Yeah, probably

1237
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 2: because he's also a kid.

1238
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, he plays the video games.

1239
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 2: It wasn't always easy between them but the past, but

1240
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 2: the past three years, the seven of us have built

1241
00:57:56,520 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 2: a familial bond that is imperfect but beautiful. Even talked

1242
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 2: about marriage. If you can never buy a ring, for

1243
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 2: the love of God, do not marry marry him, don't.

1244
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 2: I don't care. I don't care. If your kids say

1245
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 2: that he is the best, he's better than video games.

1246
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:13,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't care.

1247
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 2: They don't worship him like he's the god of the

1248
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 2: sun and they're an ancient Mayan culture.

1249
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 3: No, do not do that.

1250
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 2: But you know what you should do. You should join

1251
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 2: our live stream every week day at three pm PST

1252
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 2: when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch.

1253
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 2: All you gotta do is tap our profile on any

1254
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 2: one of those platforms and you are in the live.

1255
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 3: You're in the live.

1256
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:40,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, stop it. Yeah, And if you're watching this in

1257
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 2: the future, we might even be live right now, which

1258
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 2: you should go check on right after this. I don't

1259
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 2: even know if we need to discuss anyhow.

1260
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:52,120
Speaker 3: It's break up, Like, why is there any like, why

1261
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 3: is there any confusion? What's the delay?

1262
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 1: Chat?

1263
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,919
Speaker 2: If you have any theories on why this woman could

1264
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 2: possibly be staying with this guy, Like.

1265
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 3: He's controlling, he's useless. Literally, he's probably ugly. Break up

1266
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 3: with him.

1267
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 2: Honestly, he's probably the opposite. It's he's probably not ugly.

1268
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 3: Maybe he is hot.

1269
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 2: Maybe that's got that's got factor. This guy might just

1270
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 2: really just a dumb hotty, a dumb hotty with nowhork epic. Yeah,

1271
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 2: which is not okay. It's okay maybe if you're like twenty, yeah,

1272
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 2: but not when you're got thirty you got to have children. Yeah.

1273
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 1: Third reason is.

1274
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 2: That I have already been applying for apartments and creating

1275
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 2: carts online with all of the things I would need

1276
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 2: to move out in a couple of months, including booking

1277
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:46,479
Speaker 2: a moving truck, and I have not said a single

1278
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,200
Speaker 2: thing to him about it. I have told my sister,

1279
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 2: but I haven't spoken to anyone else in case I

1280
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 2: changed my mind? Why would I change my mind? Don't

1281
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:56,440
Speaker 2: whoa did OPI just become self aware?

1282
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: Wait?

1283
00:59:57,880 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 2: Why would I change my mind? I I don't like

1284
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:00,640
Speaker 2: to s I hate him.

1285
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 3: This guy sucks.

1286
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 2: Uh, because if there's a will, there's a way. I

1287
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 2: just don't know if I have the will to stay

1288
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 2: in this position. I'm not perfect, but I am loyal clearly,

1289
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 2: and I always try to provide for those I love,

1290
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 2: especially my kids. What do I do reddit I have

1291
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 2: no one else to discuss this with, and I'm desperate

1292
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 2: for guidance. Leave him, move out, take your kids, never

1293
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 2: speak to him again until him.

1294
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:32,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, easy, easy. The easiest answer I have for you

1295
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 3: is leave him now, leave him, and then you don't

1296
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 3: have to worry about him, and you get your kids

1297
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 3: back and you don't have to go to freaking like

1298
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 3: oh he was saying. I think the options where either

1299
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 3: she leaves him and then she gets custo, she gets

1300
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 3: half cut, split custody, or she doesn't leave him and

1301
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 3: she goes to court.

1302
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 2: Like leave him, leave him, leave him? Yeah, A V

1303
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 2: E H I M.

1304
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 3: September Davidson says, I've been a relationship like that worst

1305
01:00:58,440 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 3: mistake of my life.

1306
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 2: Dump there you go. You you heard September Davidson, dump him,

1307
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 2: dump him. But that is the end of that story.

1308
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 2: Hey's John, youre og host here We're gonna get back

1309
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 2: to the stories, but here's a quick three minute break

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01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 2: of ass from our sponsors.

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01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 3: My boyfriend gave me an ultimatum regarding my audio books,

1312
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 3: so I gave them one two. My boyfriend and I

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01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 3: have been together for around three years and we've had

1314
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 3: a pretty easy going relationship, no big fights or anything

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01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 3: until now, which is why I'm questioning myself so much.

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01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 3: By the way this comes from, it was midnight suns

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01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 3: May on the Okay storytime, separate it. So I listened

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01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 3: to audio books, not erotic once. I doubt it because

1319
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,840
Speaker 3: this becomes because as becomes important later. I have a

1320
01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 3: thing for nice voices me too, Me too, But somehow

1321
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 3: someone just reading smut off a page feels weird for

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01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 3: me to listen to. No judgment to anyone else, of course,

1323
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 3: just not my thing. My boyfriend has recently got a

1324
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 3: bug up his butt about me listening to them, especially

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01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 3: when he's home. Even though I always use headphones.

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01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 2: She said, the volume is just so loud he can

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01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:10,800
Speaker 2: hear everything being said through the headphones.

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01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 3: He's like, don't dutch me with rats, please, and do

1329
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:17,800
Speaker 3: my best not to disturb him. Also, before anyone says it,

1330
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 3: my audible account comes directly out of my bank account.

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01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 3: He has no reason to think it will affect his

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01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 3: finances anyway. He only ever gave a little snide remarks

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01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:31,680
Speaker 3: until latest time, so I let it go. Most recently,

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01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 3: I have been making us dinner and cleaning up behind

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01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 3: myself as I did it. And because he was playing

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01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,440
Speaker 3: video games and I get bored doing those kinds of

1337
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 3: things without someone else to think about, something else to

1338
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,919
Speaker 3: think about, I turned on my favorite audiobook and picked

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01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 3: up where I had been listening the week before. I

1340
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 3: didn't realize he was in the kitchen until he yanked

1341
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 3: the cord on my headphones. Oh heck, no, no you're not,

1342
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:59,000
Speaker 3: and asked if I was doing it again. I asked

1343
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,800
Speaker 3: what he was taught talking about, and he just sighed

1344
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 3: and said that he needed to talk to me. We

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01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:07,160
Speaker 3: sat down, and I'll admit I was pretty pissed he

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01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 3: had yanked my headphones and not super willing to listen

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01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 3: to anything. Right then, another reason I might be an

1348
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 3: a whole No, he's the ahle. He said that it

1349
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 3: really bothered him when I listened to audiobooks from a

1350
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 3: man's perspective, because he knows about my voice thing, and

1351
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 3: that it makes him uncomfortable.

1352
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 2: So, you know a matter voice thing. Why don't you

1353
01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:28,760
Speaker 2: work on your voice, buddy boy?

1354
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:30,920
Speaker 3: I asked why, and he said that he couldn't get

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01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 3: it out of his head that I was thinking mixtual

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01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:36,920
Speaker 3: things about the characters, and that along with the romantic elements,

1357
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 3: made him and that, along with the romantic elements made

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01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 3: him really upset and felt almost like I wasn't fully

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01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 3: committed to him.

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01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 2: Uh.

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01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 3: I asked if he realized I was listening to a

1362
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:50,120
Speaker 3: book for teens written by a literal Mormon. Is she

1363
01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 3: reading Twilight? And that none of the books I listened

1364
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 3: to have smut. He said that it didn't matter and

1365
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 3: started getting angry again, which just made me angrier, and

1366
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,520
Speaker 3: he dropped the ultimatum that he wanted me to stop

1367
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 3: or else we would need to break up. I was

1368
01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:06,760
Speaker 3: so pissed at this point that I just shrugged and said,

1369
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 3: gladly the minute you stopped watching it, I'll never touch

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01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 3: any of it again, which had him pissed because he

1371
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:16,440
Speaker 3: claimed he never said anything about spicy content, only romantic

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01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 3: and spicy sleep parts of the books I listened to,

1373
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 3: or schmectual parts I listened to. I said that if

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01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:26,280
Speaker 3: he was allowed to make ultimatums of favorite pastimes, why

1375
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 3: can't I. Then I asked if he would rather give

1376
01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 3: up video games, since that's closer to what audiobooks mean

1377
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,840
Speaker 3: to me. He ended up just saying to effing forget

1378
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:40,080
Speaker 3: it and went to bed. I talked to my friends

1379
01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 3: about the situation, got mixed answers, so I wanted to

1380
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:47,960
Speaker 3: try with strangers as well. Relevant comments. Cool b Helzi

1381
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 3: says this is a big red flag to me. Is

1382
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:52,720
Speaker 3: he so insecure that he can't stand the idea of

1383
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:57,160
Speaker 3: you listening to, gasp another man? You weren't even listening

1384
01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 3: to another to anything provocative when he did this, and

1385
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 3: he had that kind of reaction, Where is all of

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01:05:02,680 --> 01:05:05,000
Speaker 3: his anger coming from the fact that he dropped an

1387
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:09,720
Speaker 3: ultimatum books for f's sake or breaking up? Is insane

1388
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 3: to me. This seems like such an odd thing for

1389
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:14,720
Speaker 3: him to want to have control over. You're wearing headphones,

1390
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,760
Speaker 3: not listening to it on a speakerphone, and you're minding

1391
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:20,200
Speaker 3: your own business and he has the audacity to be

1392
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:23,520
Speaker 3: upset you're doing that. Personally, I would cut ties, But

1393
01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 3: if you feel like he's a good partner to you

1394
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 3: in other aspects, and he isn't controlling about other things

1395
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:30,240
Speaker 3: you do, i e. What you wear, who you hang

1396
01:05:30,320 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 3: out with, et cetera. Then maybe try talking it out

1397
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 3: when he's calm. Opie says. He did try to explain

1398
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:39,120
Speaker 3: that he felt as if I was reacting to the

1399
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 3: romantic parts in ways I don't react to him, which

1400
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:45,880
Speaker 3: almost made sense. But then all I can think is, yeah,

1401
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 3: of course I do. This kind of romantic thing doesn't

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01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,400
Speaker 3: exist in real life, and I don't expect it to,

1403
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:52,480
Speaker 3: but to hear about it is enough to make me

1404
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 3: blush or laugh because it's cute. Yeah. Like sometimes I'll

1405
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:59,880
Speaker 3: read romantic books or like, you know, little rom com things,

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01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 3: and I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like, it's almost like when you read books or hear books,

1408
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,920
Speaker 2: they make you think thoughts and feel feelings.

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01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never expected him to be an over the

1410
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,560
Speaker 3: top romantic. I don't think I would enjoy it in

1411
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:13,120
Speaker 3: real life. It would more than likely overwhelm me, but

1412
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,920
Speaker 3: I do like to hear about it. I guess this

1413
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 3: part does make me feel a little bad because at

1414
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 3: the time I was so angry about the headphone pulling.

1415
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:21,880
Speaker 3: I don't know why it set me off so bad.

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01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,120
Speaker 3: No one has ever done it to me before, but

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01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:27,240
Speaker 3: for some reason it had me pissed. I couldn't even

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01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:29,560
Speaker 3: react to it like I should have. I honestly maybe

1419
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,680
Speaker 3: should have asked to wait. The more I think about it,

1420
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:36,760
Speaker 3: and b Helsy says, he put his hands on you, girl, diddy,

1421
01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:38,640
Speaker 3: I mean he took bad punds.

1422
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he yanked, he yanked.

1423
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:44,080
Speaker 3: He's getting mad of her fictional character slash stories. I

1424
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:46,240
Speaker 3: think long and hard about what you want to do

1425
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:50,680
Speaker 3: going forward. Sparks Girl twelve twenty three says he's weirdly

1426
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 3: hung up on this voice thing. Pleasant voices are soothing

1427
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 3: and relaxing, et cetera. It's not like you stopped cooking

1428
01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:00,280
Speaker 3: dinner to masquerades spread eagle on the counter while owning

1429
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:04,000
Speaker 3: the narrator's voice. Yeesh. I feel your ultimatum is fair.

1430
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:07,320
Speaker 3: So it's been a while. I don't think I would update,

1431
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 3: because the original update would have been mostly us talking

1432
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,720
Speaker 3: and working things out, agreeing that whenever he felt insecure,

1433
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:15,040
Speaker 3: he could tell me and I could focus my attention

1434
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:16,880
Speaker 3: on him for a while. It worked really great.

1435
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 2: Okay, that doesn't see that seems like the reaction of

1436
01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:21,160
Speaker 2: like a dog walking up to you and being like,

1437
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,960
Speaker 2: can I have attention you look while you're cooking, give

1438
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:25,920
Speaker 2: me attention. You're doing this, give me attention.

1439
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:31,040
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, and docent end there well, until I found out

1440
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:34,240
Speaker 3: he had been effing as coworker. That is, it was

1441
01:07:34,440 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 3: projection all along. No, it was projection all all along, all.

1442
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:44,800
Speaker 2: Of the empathy I had for this person. No into

1443
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:48,560
Speaker 2: the sun with thee into the sun man.

1444
01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:52,560
Speaker 3: Well, I don't have the details. I don't want the details.

1445
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:55,280
Speaker 3: But he admitted to it in the end, so he

1446
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 3: did it. That's enough. He wanted to work it out

1447
01:07:58,080 --> 01:08:03,400
Speaker 3: and apologized, begged for a chance. But honestly, the idea

1448
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:06,640
Speaker 3: that he said a word to me about an audio

1449
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:08,880
Speaker 3: book about Edward freaking calling.

1450
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:12,560
Speaker 2: I was right, yeah, yeah, freaking nail that, yep.

1451
01:08:12,400 --> 01:08:14,520
Speaker 3: While he was getting strange on the side.

1452
01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:23,879
Speaker 2: Ah ah. If I knew a twilight quote, I would quote.

1453
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:26,679
Speaker 3: It right now, Bella, where have you been? Loca?

1454
01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:31,639
Speaker 2: Hella? Were you yo? I know that was Jacob though, yeah,

1455
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:32,400
Speaker 2: I knew that.

1456
01:08:32,960 --> 01:08:37,520
Speaker 3: It destroyed an opportunity for forgive, any opportunity for forgiveness

1457
01:08:37,560 --> 01:08:40,679
Speaker 3: I had inside of me. It was so ridiculous. I left.

1458
01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:43,240
Speaker 3: Thinking about it now and it's been a month since

1459
01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:45,879
Speaker 3: we broke up, like, it makes me feel so insane.

1460
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:48,280
Speaker 3: It's funny he was yelling at me for listening to

1461
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 3: a book about Mormon vampires while he was cheating on me.

1462
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:55,320
Speaker 3: X Dy, I cannot make this crap up. By the way,

1463
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:57,720
Speaker 3: I can't make up that. You can join his live

1464
01:08:57,920 --> 01:09:01,080
Speaker 3: every weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook and Dick

1465
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:04,640
Speaker 3: Dog just top our profile. Uh, and there is a

1466
01:09:04,680 --> 01:09:08,280
Speaker 3: little bit left. But then, yeah, Leaf, you should have honestly,

1467
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:12,879
Speaker 3: I mean, hindsight's twenty twenty. But anytime someone starts controlling

1468
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:19,080
Speaker 3: your hobbies that are very you know, very simple and innocent.

1469
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:21,800
Speaker 3: Mm hm, you gotta leave.

1470
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:27,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. A big red flag, A big red fuh Clifford,

1471
01:09:27,439 --> 01:09:30,720
Speaker 2: the big red dog. A big red flag. To me

1472
01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:34,160
Speaker 2: was that after y'all had that conversation that you kind

1473
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:37,960
Speaker 2: of skipped over, he said that, you know, the solution

1474
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 2: was whenever he felt insecure, you would just give him attention,

1475
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:43,920
Speaker 2: which is him putting his own stuff outside of himself.

1476
01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:47,000
Speaker 2: Like his insecurities aren't coming from you reading the book. Yeah,

1477
01:09:47,040 --> 01:09:49,519
Speaker 2: his insecurities are coming from his own thoughts. That he

1478
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:52,920
Speaker 2: would direct it himself, whether it's that he's not good

1479
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:55,800
Speaker 2: enough or that he you know, he whatever it is.

1480
01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:58,880
Speaker 2: But instead of being like, I'll work on my issues,

1481
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:02,519
Speaker 2: he's like, actually, it's your job un make me feel

1482
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:04,639
Speaker 2: not insecure, which is not how that works.

1483
01:10:04,720 --> 01:10:06,360
Speaker 3: It just yeah, it was just putting it more on

1484
01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:11,759
Speaker 3: op which is ridiculous. Bubbles. Marisa's fifty Shades was originally

1485
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:13,960
Speaker 3: a Twilight fan fit called Master of the Universe.

1486
01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:16,200
Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, like he.

1487
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:24,639
Speaker 1: Mad, I have the power to write Twilight fan fiction.

1488
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:30,280
Speaker 2: You sound like uh he man. No, yes, I sound

1489
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 2: like man, I have a sword right here.

1490
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:40,559
Speaker 3: No, you sound like uh jfk in Clone High.

1491
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:43,160
Speaker 2: Oh that's actually I like that.

1492
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:45,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what does he what's the line from that?

1493
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:50,240
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I have a John F. Kennedy

1494
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:51,680
Speaker 2: a little bit, I have.

1495
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,720
Speaker 3: I have the power one hundred points to ever said

1496
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:00,920
Speaker 3: projection the first time I posted. I can't remember if

1497
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,960
Speaker 3: it was a commoner message, but you were right. I

1498
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:05,839
Speaker 3: wish I had a cookie. Thanks for the help anyway,

1499
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:08,519
Speaker 3: even if the relationship is abus now, I really do

1500
01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:10,960
Speaker 3: appreciate you all. And that is the end of that story.

1501
01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:11,400
Speaker 3: Oh