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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy Guys Designer guest

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Speaker 1: still for Kpe who is traversing the world. Let's meet everybody, shally.

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Speaker 1: First up, it's James Heinie. Hey, what was your favorite

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Speaker 1: book when you're a kid. I really liked The Hubbit

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Speaker 1: it was so good, and then I would try over

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Speaker 1: and over to read Lord of the Rings, but I

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Speaker 1: could never get through the Fellowship of the Ring to

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Speaker 1: high school. Kind of some reason, subconsciously, I knew that

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Speaker 1: was gonna be your book. It's very on brand for you.

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Speaker 1: Love it. Next up, Jackie Gonzalez de Ruthie. Jackie, what's

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Speaker 1: the one food or drink you can't live without other

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Speaker 1: than water? Obviously? That's that's a rice, rice, just a

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Speaker 1: general rice. I need it. I have it almost every

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Speaker 1: day in different iterations. That's fair. That's a good competent answer.

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Speaker 1: What else to say? Uh? Next up, you know him,

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Speaker 1: he was just hitting the waves. Chris Alvarado is here. Chris,

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Speaker 1: what's a pet peeve that you have? Mm hm? You

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Speaker 1: know I, oh, come on, I hate indecisiveness. I'm afraid

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Speaker 1: of the times I pranked you because I know you

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Speaker 1: hate that. You know I don't like pranks, dude, I

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Speaker 1: don't like pranks. That's a pet peeve of mine. I

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Speaker 1: was talking to somebody today about that too. I said,

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Speaker 1: you know, your pranks or you're good at pranking because

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Speaker 1: you're funny, but also because you're kind of mean. I

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Speaker 1: don't think that about you, James. I think there could

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Speaker 1: be uh, we'll go with that. Don't prank me, that's me.

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Speaker 1: Franks are bad, thank you. I'm on board with that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, good prank would be like a surprise birthday party. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: prank or like whoop be cushion type stuff. I'm fine with.

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Speaker 1: But it's like, you know, like James be like open

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Speaker 1: this now, oh ship and open the email and it's

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Speaker 1: like a funny picture. I'm like, oh god. It was like,

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Speaker 1: we need to talk. I think I set you a

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Speaker 1: message like we need to talk. Nobody wants to get

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Speaker 1: that message. Nobody wants so you guys here, we have

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Speaker 1: open permission to do whoopee question stuff to Chris. It's

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Speaker 1: hard on it's hard to do that, not impossible. Go

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Speaker 1: to this address. Sit down here. We need to sit

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Speaker 1: down here now, freaking ology all right. Next up, it's

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Speaker 1: Craig Katkoski, Craig, You've done a good amount of TV work.

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Speaker 1: What's the best set you've ever been on? Almost the

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Speaker 1: most joyful? Oh man, so many to choose. Um, I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you what. Like when we we wrapped season five

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Speaker 1: of Drunk History a couple of years ago, and like

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Speaker 1: that show, like over its course, like gradually got a

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Speaker 1: little more budgets and you know, got kind of nicer

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Speaker 1: and nicer, and like I was really kind of proud

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Speaker 1: of like where we just gotten to. You know, I

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Speaker 1: was like, Wow, We've got like a crew of like

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Speaker 1: a hundred people. Like this feels like really professional, like

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Speaker 1: to see that show evolved. And then right after I

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Speaker 1: wrapped that, I was brought back on VP and like

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Speaker 1: and I was on an HBO set and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh god, we're fucking amateur just craft services where you

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Speaker 1: can tell the difference of like what the food available

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Speaker 1: is and like, uh, when when you're on like a

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Speaker 1: show like VP, you're like, oh that this is real money.

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Speaker 1: This is not Comedy Central money. So it was a

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Speaker 1: lobster buffet or what were we talking about? Lobster buffet?

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Speaker 1: Lobster for breast. So when you ask what's the best set.

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Speaker 1: My mind immediately goes to food. Last, but not least,

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Speaker 1: it's Joey Graare Joey, we all hear that you're close

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Speaker 1: to launching your app. What does it do? Well? I've

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Speaker 1: had to actually go back to the drawing board because

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Speaker 1: apparently a mail service already exists. I did not know that,

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Speaker 1: but what kin, Yeah, okay, exactly, yeah, yeah yeah. So

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Speaker 1: Google apparently has like this hard line role that I'm

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Speaker 1: not allowed to use Gmail. I can't say Gmail, even

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Speaker 1: though it's greer mail. That's the whole thing, but like

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Speaker 1: I can't use it. I have to go back and

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Speaker 1: have to figure someone else out, so I can't do

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Speaker 1: the mail service anymore. So I'm thinking of of like

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Speaker 1: creating an app that allows users to find different locations

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Speaker 1: of eggs. So like if there's an egg outside, or

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Speaker 1: if you see an egg in the story, you're able

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Speaker 1: to drop a pin and people can like go go

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Speaker 1: to that place. And I gotta work on a timer

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Speaker 1: because I imagine that that egg would like, you know,

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Speaker 1: go away, So I gotta figure that out. But it's

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Speaker 1: just like an egg locational follow up? Are these um

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Speaker 1: shelled eggs or open uncooked raw? Uh? These are all

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Speaker 1: of the above, the uncooked draw egg that that kind

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Speaker 1: of filter. So this is like I'm pivoting, but I

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Speaker 1: want to say, in the you know, in the eight world,

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Speaker 1: you can have this. Just call it the exact locator,

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Speaker 1: you know. Can I use it? Or do I gotta

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Speaker 1: pay you? Now? I literally just said you could have it? Literally,

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Speaker 1: all right, let's do a DAP show, shall we. All

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Speaker 1: of our scenes suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails, or

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Speaker 1: from our Patreon v I P. S. To become a

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Speaker 1: Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content and

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Speaker 1: other perks, just head on over to Patreon dot com

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Speaker 1: slash alchemy this. If you'd like to submit a scene

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Speaker 1: suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at our

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Speaker 1: new email address. Welcome you. This email at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's okay dot com. Scene one is from Patreon v

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Speaker 1: I P. Craig Nichols, who wrote, Hello friends, thanks for

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Speaker 1: all the amazing content. Scene suggestion prison Warden tries to

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Speaker 1: brighten the mood by replacing all the stairs with slides.

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Speaker 1: Don't ever change the way you are, Craig. We have

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Speaker 1: to do something different, something difference, sir, sir, Please don't

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Speaker 1: It's just that when you say different, it ends up

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Speaker 1: being a lot of work for us, and often the

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Speaker 1: plans don't excuse me, these are sharp. I gotta put

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Speaker 1: these down, coming through points coming through. Look, that's already happening.

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Speaker 1: You understand. We're taking the stairs out. We're gonna put

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Speaker 1: in slide. I think it's gonna boost morale and also

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Speaker 1: a little fun for us, don't you think. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that does sound kind of fun. And how quickly can

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Speaker 1: you get down if there's a riot? And so how

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Speaker 1: do we get back up? Just go up the slide? Chocolate?

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Speaker 1: Is there chocolate around? Chocolate? Yeah? I got dark chocolate, Oh,

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Speaker 1: white chocolate, milk, chocolate, anything you need? Caramel? It's not chocolate.

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Speaker 1: I don't have it. Do you have chocolate filled with caramel? Oh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this one might have. One of these has it for sure?

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Speaker 1: I don't know which one. They're all felt a different things.

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Speaker 1: Let me just say something, what is this a cherry?

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Speaker 1: Hey murder? Mike? How's your how's your day going in

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Speaker 1: the cell? Yeah? Okay, that's fair. Listen, um. Look, for

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Speaker 1: all intents and purposes, you've been a pretty good, you know, prisoner,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like you and I have built a relationship.

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Speaker 1: I know I do most of the talking. Um, I

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Speaker 1: want to give your heads up. Maybe you could tell

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Speaker 1: some of the guys on the yard that they're gonna

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Speaker 1: be some changes, some structural changes, Um, around the facility.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, am I not the chocolate teer anymore. I

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Speaker 1: really like that job so much better than making license plates.

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Speaker 1: Yeah no, you're still You're still the chocolate tear blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah. How does this affect murder Mike, Um, well

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Speaker 1: being as you have such that have that respect most

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Speaker 1: of the prisoners here on the yard. I thought maybe

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Speaker 1: I could give you a test run of some of

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Speaker 1: the new additions, and if you could spread a positive

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Speaker 1: word that would really help. Because the warden is all

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Speaker 1: the wardens on one again. Okay, walk me through it. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I will literally walk you through it. Um, open gate

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Speaker 1: to four it Murder Mike. I'm having a hard I'm

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Speaker 1: going to sleep. Tell me a story. Okay, new fish, Michael.

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Speaker 1: Let's see. Well, it was a long time ago when

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Speaker 1: I was just Mike. Ah, good night. Look you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm a contractor. I I I do what I do,

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Speaker 1: you know, and and I do specialize in converting stairs

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Speaker 1: into slides. Uh but uh, you know everything here is

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Speaker 1: pretty level. You know, it's a prison. There's not a

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Speaker 1: lot of not a lot of staircases. This isn't lift

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Speaker 1: the prison. Let's just go from the bottom lifted. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So you want to raise the entire building, you raise

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Speaker 1: me up so I can slide down a slide. You

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Speaker 1: get it. We can do it together. It'll be fine. Okay.

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Speaker 1: But if you raise the entire building, then you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have staircases that lead up to the prison, which means

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have slides coming out of the prison. I

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Speaker 1: was thinking maybe instead of raising the prison, we just

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Speaker 1: make floors down below. Okay, I really want to raise

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Speaker 1: the prison. I really want to. It's just a lot

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Speaker 1: of work, right, Rod, I mean it's more realistic to

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Speaker 1: dig down. Okay, So you want to lower the prison,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I sorry, I know, I'm he's my boss.

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Speaker 1: So if this doesn't sound right, but I'm thinking, we

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Speaker 1: just make uh floor underneath it. We don't have to

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Speaker 1: lower the prison. This will just be the top floor.

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Speaker 1: Then warded, hold on, hold hold one second, hold on

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Speaker 1: one second, and the final piece, Oh my god, it's Paris.

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Speaker 1: I look at this. It's great. It's great. If you like,

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Speaker 1: we're there. We didn't take a moment with me. Take

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Speaker 1: a moment with me, all. I don't want to hold

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Speaker 1: your hand if I don't cover ball there. That's okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: it's just chocolate. Just melt the chocolate. Okay. Um um.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually bringing more good news warden. If you kind

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Speaker 1: of turn on this, monu, my god, let me guess.

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Speaker 1: Let me guess. Is it um? Is it? Ah? Don't

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Speaker 1: tell me? Is it um? Do you hear this? Those sounds,

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Speaker 1: those are weeze coming from the prisoners. Listen here one prisoner,

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Speaker 1: m it's another. Open your eyes. But you know, I

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Speaker 1: know no, Look at the monitor. They're using your slide.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, they built their own slides. We didn't

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Speaker 1: even have the contract build their own slides. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, my gosh. This is amazing. What the

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Speaker 1: bad news means. If they built their own slide, that

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Speaker 1: means they have intel from the inside, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, someone's someone's telling the prisoners your plans, and

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Speaker 1: I don't that's not good. I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: don't know, if that's good. I don't know if that's

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Speaker 1: good anyway. Well, I mean or bones, You're hello, goodbye

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Speaker 1: to murder Mike, she said, And I never went back

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Speaker 1: to Paris again. Oh, I told the story through the night.

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Speaker 1: Looks like you're waking up now. Ah yeah, great, I

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Speaker 1: slept like a rock. I haven't slept that good since

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Speaker 1: my last roommate died. Yeah, you out it off when

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Speaker 1: I immediately started telling the story. But I I felt

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Speaker 1: like I had to go through the whole thing. And

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Speaker 1: it is about seven hours long, and it was almost

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Speaker 1: like a white noise machine for me, just keeping me

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Speaker 1: there in a perfect state of ram. Well maybe I'll

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Speaker 1: look into that when I get out of this place,

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Speaker 1: because I'm getting out next Thursday at four. Me and

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Speaker 1: the guys have figured out how to put slides together

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Speaker 1: to get on out of this place. I like to come.

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Speaker 1: I would really love to come. And just know that

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Speaker 1: when I come, I can either be with you or

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Speaker 1: I can even go my own separate weight. But if

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Speaker 1: you needed help, I'm actually very good at that. I'm

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Speaker 1: very handy. Contractor, Contractor Connor, I need your attention. Please

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Speaker 1: in my person. You will have the title and name

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Speaker 1: given to you. Do you understand now I've got some

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Speaker 1: information that is really tickling my ass. It seems like

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Speaker 1: some of the prisoners have built a slide. How would

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Speaker 1: they have done that? Contractor Connor? Like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how the how they got the equipment Warden, but it

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Speaker 1: looks like they're using utensils and plates and different platters

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Speaker 1: from the cafeteria. How do you think they got that?

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Speaker 1: Contractor Conor? What? What were you saying, Tony? Well, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to get us in trouble, but I had

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Speaker 1: brought all the tools to the yards that we could

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Speaker 1: out of the van, so we didn't have to take

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Speaker 1: one tool at a time. It could be my fault. Yeah, Tony,

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Speaker 1: I told you one tool at a time. This is

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Speaker 1: a prison. Yeah, it's just that I figured one one

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Speaker 1: tool the type inside. I just put a pile of

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Speaker 1: tools and all of the slide material in. They're telling

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Speaker 1: me the materials you brought in were utensils from the

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Speaker 1: cafeteria as well as trays and plates. Well, they could

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Speaker 1: use some utensils from the cafeteria, because that's exactly that

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Speaker 1: is exactly what the slide is being made up. Do

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Speaker 1: you understand that those are my materials. We're supposed to

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Speaker 1: have a pizza party. Now we can't because all the

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Speaker 1: race plates and utensils are gone a contractor. I'd like you,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna go to my party? Okay, and now I

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Speaker 1: don't know, so what's going on? I really don't have

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Speaker 1: time to go to your party, Warden. Sorry, Hey, murder Mike, murderer, Mike.

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Speaker 1: So Thursday is the big day, huh it is. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna miss you, guys. I'm gonna miss you too. You

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Speaker 1: always treated us real good. I'm very afraid of you.

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Speaker 1: I'm very afraid of you. What's gonna be your first

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Speaker 1: stop on the outside? Oh wow? You know, all these

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Speaker 1: years I and even thought what I would do when

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Speaker 1: I got out. But I'll be able to adjust to

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Speaker 1: be an outside of this place. You know, I've I

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Speaker 1: wanted to go to this be wanting to go back

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Speaker 1: to Paris. It's the last place that I was happy. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's a beautiful sentiment. It just seems like that might

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Speaker 1: be a difficult thing for you to do. That's like

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Speaker 1: getting a passport and getting like playing fair and like

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Speaker 1: getting a place. Even Airbnb is outside of Paris is

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Speaker 1: like really expensive. You know, I was thinking maybe you

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Speaker 1: might want to hold up in the barn. The barn

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Speaker 1: really feels like I'm settling. Well, I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what you want to want me to do. I

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Speaker 1: can't give you more supplies. Man, you took them off.

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Speaker 1: That's just how it is. Look, my my idiot cousin,

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Speaker 1: uh left a whole bunch of tools in the prison

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Speaker 1: yard and uh yeah, and now the prisoners building slides

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Speaker 1: and also killing each other with the tools. Look. I

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Speaker 1: already did you a favor, alright by giving you the

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Speaker 1: stuff I had already. I can't give you anymore. Run.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just like this is this is the

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Speaker 1: biggest contract I've had in years. We're we're both raising

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Speaker 1: the prison and lowering it. I would you do that?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. They're the guys crazy. Oh then you

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Speaker 1: look hard. But have you slept recently or I've not slept.

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Speaker 1: I I got it apart it at the prison. Wait

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Speaker 1: a minute, I think I'm living in a prison cell. God. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to you. This glass partitioning? Are you? I mean,

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Speaker 1: do you need anything? You want your toothpaste? Look, I

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Speaker 1: do need a guy who can get me things. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean I already think you that favor.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Look if if if you didn't get

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Speaker 1: me a porno maggot, I really appreciate it. That hard

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Speaker 1: to come by around here. All right, I go, I

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Speaker 1: gotta go, all right, hey, chocolate your Michael, Yeah, I gotta.

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Speaker 1: I gotta check the spread we have today for the wardens.

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Speaker 1: So if you can just tell me what's on the menu. Okay, great? Um,

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Speaker 1: I made scrambled eggs but out of chocolate, along with

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Speaker 1: a hot cup of Joe made of chocolate, and um

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Speaker 1: and long uh what looks like bacon, but of course

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Speaker 1: is actually chocolate. There's all different varieties of chocolate. Sure, listen,

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Speaker 1: I want to tell you. I don't know if the

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Speaker 1: warden has expressed his gradit here, but you were doing

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Speaker 1: a great job. Thank you, Thank you so much. It

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Speaker 1: would be a shame if you left anytime soon. You

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Well, you know the whabilitating this

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Speaker 1: warden wants you to stick around. On what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I just feel here, hold onto this saw, but just

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Speaker 1: hold the saw for one second. Okay, now you've got

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Speaker 1: us all Yeah, thanks man? Okay, right, right, I'll be

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Speaker 1: bringing you in this afternoon for the chocolate spread again.

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Speaker 1: That's scrambled eggs. That are chocolate, that's um. And am

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Speaker 1: I getting paid in sharp tools now? Because that is

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Speaker 1: so much better than time in the yard. The warden

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Speaker 1: wants you around. Alright, boys, will one slide away from

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Speaker 1: the outside chocolate? Here? Drop that saw. We don't need that.

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Speaker 1: We have these things all made up for us to

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Speaker 1: take the slides out of murder Mike, Oh no, murder Mike.

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Speaker 1: Can I just get your ear for a second, please? Okay,

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Speaker 1: go ahead. Are you awake? Yes, I'm awake. Are you

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Speaker 1: sure you're awake. I'm just not talking to a sleepy

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Speaker 1: boy who's just talking to me because there's a sleep No,

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Speaker 1: I'm awake. Board. Oh good. I don't know what to do, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I don't know who to talk to her or where

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Speaker 1: to go. I'm just so so lost. Should I leave? Well?

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Speaker 1: That reminds me of a story. It's back when I

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Speaker 1: was just Michael. Alright, boys, Warden's out, let's go. Let's go.

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Speaker 1: Morning Warden, Good morning, good morning. I brought your satin slippers,

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Speaker 1: thank you. You know what today I want to walk

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Speaker 1: the grounds I'm feeling so good. Okay, what if you

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Speaker 1: got the barn? Okay, the board and I want to

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Speaker 1: bring contractor Connor. I think he's one. Okay, he's in

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Speaker 1: he's in cell Block D. As you know, the water

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Speaker 1: tank well keeps committing more and more crimes. Well in here,

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Speaker 1: and it's weird, but we gotta keep him now. But

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Speaker 1: I can go. He's in the water tank. Off. Um,

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Speaker 1: all prisoners have been accounted for. It's going to be

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Speaker 1: a lovely day at the prison. Oh good, good. I

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Speaker 1: can't deal with any kind of stress today. No, of course, not.

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Speaker 1: Let me go grab contract Excuse me. I have an appointment. Well,

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Speaker 1: and it's not really an appointment with the warden, but

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Speaker 1: I'd like to talk with the warden. Now, listen, warden,

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Speaker 1: how did you get here? Well? I walked, I had

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Speaker 1: I had my I had my carriage, and then I

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Speaker 1: walked from there. Let me tell you my boys. My

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Speaker 1: boys are in my carriage, and we're ready to raise

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Speaker 1: this jail. And we don't usually raise jails, but we're

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Speaker 1: ready to raise this jail for you. But here I

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Speaker 1: am hearing things that you don't even need me anymore.

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Speaker 1: I've got Jebediah, Josiah, Abigail. We're all already. I've told

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Speaker 1: you several times the Amish community is welcome to raise

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Speaker 1: this prison, and that's our first. You introduced the Amish.

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Speaker 1: You gotta move One two is from listener Chris, who wrote,

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Speaker 1: howdy Alchemists. Before I go onto my suggestion, I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to give a sincere thanks for your bi weekly

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Speaker 1: gifts of comedy. I've been an avid listener for years

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Speaker 1: now and just recently became a VACK member simply because

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Speaker 1: you guys never failed to put a smile on my pace.

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Speaker 1: As per tradition, my tedious job involves animal research on

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Speaker 1: concussions and treatments for Alzheimer's. Despite the depressing, albeit necessary

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Speaker 1: nature of animal research, your show has kept me my

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Speaker 1: sanity afloat and inspired me to pursue a more creative

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Speaker 1: endeavor in user experience design. Keep up their great work. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: back to my scene suggestion, bomb threat at the Skeptics convention.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for the laughs. Us Nelson from Richmond H. James

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Speaker 1: another prank call. Let's say there's a bomb in here?

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Speaker 1: Should we report that? Or No? They're just trying to

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Speaker 1: ruffle our feathers. They don't like skeptics. They don't like

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Speaker 1: our conference. You know what, if you're not skeptical about

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Speaker 1: what's going on around you, then you're not paying attention.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm kind of I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you're telling the truth. Just put the just put the

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Speaker 1: tinsel up on the ARCT. What do you mean you

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Speaker 1: don't think I'm telling the truth? I don't know, man,

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Speaker 1: Are you sure this is the is the right tinsel?

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Speaker 1: Hold on a second. Are you saying you don't think

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Speaker 1: I got the phone call? Or are you saying you

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Speaker 1: don't think I should disregard the phone call? Brian? What

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Speaker 1: I think is that you got the phone call. But

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Speaker 1: what I also think is that maybe there wasn't a

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Speaker 1: bomb threat. Really you don't think I heard what I said?

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Speaker 1: I heard? No, No, I don't start Star sixty nine Okay, fine, okay,

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Speaker 1: finn okay, what is the star? Is the star? The

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Speaker 1: at the little thing that looks like a like a

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Speaker 1: firework exploding? Okay? Well the nine? Is that what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about? Star six nine? Hold on six okay? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Is it ringing? I'm not telling you it's ringing? Hello

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Speaker 1: macavoy at one to four more Park Street. How can

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Speaker 1: I help you? Is this a message? Did I get?

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Speaker 1: Are you there? Are you there? Or is this a message? No?

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Speaker 1: This is Peter. How can I help you? Are you sure?

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Speaker 1: Are you talking to a machine? How can I help you? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to a machine right now. Anything. I'm talking

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Speaker 1: to Peter McAvoy. Sure you are? Yeah, I am. Oh.

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Speaker 1: Let me guess this is the macavoy that does all

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Speaker 1: the anti virus stuff on computers. Huh, that's the different name.

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Speaker 1: That's mccaffee. I think, yeah, sure it is, sure it is.

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Speaker 1: So let me get this shrew. You called in? You

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Speaker 1: called in about a little a bomb threat. It's all right,

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Speaker 1: Yes I did, right, you did. Yeah, I have hidden

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Speaker 1: two bombs at your conference. You can't see me, but

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Speaker 1: I'm putting up quotes air quotes around the word conference.

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Speaker 1: It is a conference? No, not to me, it isn't Peter.

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Speaker 1: Did I just hear you right on the phone? What

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Speaker 1: what's up? Did you just answer and give our address?

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Speaker 1: Is that my towel? I mean it's our towel. I

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Speaker 1: mean though it's like the household towel just feels like

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Speaker 1: that one I use more than you do. You're picking

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Speaker 1: fights with me again, and I just want to let

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Speaker 1: you know that I heard you, and that of everything

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Speaker 1: that you said in that calm versation, I am very

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Speaker 1: upset about you giving away our address. Do you know

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Speaker 1: how it's like to be a woman in the city,

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Speaker 1: in the big city. It's terrifying, terrifying. I could never

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Speaker 1: give away my address because somebody might come and steal

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Speaker 1: me or worse. Just why do I stay with you? Why?

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Speaker 1: That was pretty convincing, Tad. But at the same time,

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Speaker 1: you should take acting classes. I could tell nobody else

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Speaker 1: was on the phone. He's told that there are two

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Speaker 1: bombs in the convention. Downs stand two bombs. Okay, we

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Speaker 1: gotta call off the convention. We just stop it, Stop it, Tad.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you what helps me. I'm not score the tincil,

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Speaker 1: you dumbask We gotta we gotta do something about the bombs. Okay,

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do something. As soon as I start getting

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Speaker 1: worked up, then you're gonna tell me to prank. Okay, sorry, interrupt,

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Speaker 1: Just want to let you know there's a panel on

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Speaker 1: faked moon landing starting at one pm. Okay, and our

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Speaker 1: wristband gets us into that as well. Since we're exhibitors,

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00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 1: it does where nobody's really attending the panel right now,

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Speaker 1: because I think people don't respond well to to authority,

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Speaker 1: and I guess the schedule for the convention is kind

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Speaker 1: of indicative of authority. But so we'll start at one

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Speaker 1: or two or three. Whenever people show up. We'll show

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Speaker 1: when we want to show up. Okay, we'll show up

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Speaker 1: what we wash up. And let me just tell you something, buddy.

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Speaker 1: All right, we're bombs here. My name is Kurt. Oh hey, Kurt,

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Speaker 1: know that you don't look like a Kurt Well for

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Speaker 1: this weekend. My name is Kurt. Okay, there are bombs here. Okay,

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Speaker 1: there are bombs at the convention, all right, they're here.

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Speaker 1: Peter McAfee, the anti virus guy. He put bombs here. Wait,

416
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: Peter McAfee, yes, the anti virus guy. But he put

417
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: bombs here. Okay. I I've been hearing these theories about

418
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: Peter McAfee for years, uh and a lot of people

419
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: think that he's not even in uh the US right

420
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,679
Speaker 1: now that he has a start star sixty nine this

421
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 1: phone right now, just please do Kurt Pete walk away

422
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: from Ricky Peter. Stop fooling around with this anti virus

423
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: stuff and come learn to make bombs with the rest

424
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: of your family. All right, Pete, walk away? Okay, okay, okay, sorry,

425
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: I just what if we were in put here to do? Good? Pete?

426
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,120
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? The mcafees have been anarchists.

427
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 1: I don't like centuries. I don't like this one pit. Listen,

428
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: dear mother, this is your side of the family, Sean,

429
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: this is your side of the family, right, I'm going

430
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:58,679
Speaker 1: with the maca voice side of the family. No you're not.

431
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: You're going with Mike side of the family. Don't ear.

432
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: Don't pull my ear in. You you going to pull

433
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: your eye out. I'm not gonna do that. You gonna

434
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 1: scoop your eye out with my thumb? Is it so

435
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: wrong to want to help pet Look, we can't help

436
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 1: who we are, all right. You got a little bit

437
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 1: of me, and you get a little bit of your mom,

438
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 1: and you too. You are Peter McAfee McAvoy all right.

439
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 1: I don't know why you hyphenated and we didn't, but

440
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: that's just the way it is. Okay, because I don't

441
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 1: have two names, and neither do you. He does. Hey, dead, Yes,

442
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 1: I are you handing that detonator. You got it? You

443
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,880
Speaker 1: want to go throw it around outside? Peter, We've got

444
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 1: to talk your parents. You said that they were just

445
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 1: coming for the weekend. They've been here for months. I

446
00:27:53,240 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: need my space for what to do. What you constantly

447
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 1: making bad? Okay, alright, just tell me one thing you

448
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: want to do alone. I want to not eat rancid

449
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: meat that's been left on the counter and pointed out

450
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,199
Speaker 1: and then still left on the counter, because you know,

451
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: if I see meat, I'm going to eat it. I'm

452
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 1: gonna eat it. I know, babe. Do you think maybe

453
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: my parents being here is what's driving a wedge between us?

454
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 1: I think a lot of things at this point are

455
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: driving a lot of different wedges. Do you want to

456
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: answer that? Yes, let me show you how it's done. Okay, Hello,

457
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: Tina Lasagna, Kirk, Kirk Ticke, kurt uh Hi? Who is this?

458
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 1: This Tina Hi? This is Kurd at the Skeptics Convention? Oh? Hi,

459
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: how is it? How are you? Okay? I was told

460
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: that I was going to talk to Peter McAfee if

461
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: I called this number, and you're saying, in fact, you

462
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: are Tina Lasagna. I am Tina Lasagna. Um, there is

463
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: a Peter who lives here. Um, Peter McAfee the middle

464
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: of the Pacific Ocean. Excuse me, what are you trying

465
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: to get my address from me? I don't give that, Okay.

466
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: I'm a woman in the big city. I don't just

467
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 1: give away my address to random men so that you

468
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: could come find me, steal me and chop me up,

469
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: knocking knock a Tina surprised you your parents? This is

470
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: your badest. Tina Lasagna? Se your badests? Do you do

471
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: you have to go? Um? No? Actually, could you stay

472
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 1: on the line with me? I really don't want to

473
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: have to deal with these people? Hi, Mom, Hi Dad,

474
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: just one moment, I'm on the phone. Very important, Okay.

475
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: I think clearly she's hired actors who are doing like

476
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: a really broad your next, That's what I thought. I mean,

477
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: I didn't hear theirs, but I didn't think there was

478
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: even a name such as Tina Lasagna. Are we sure

479
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: they're Italian? They might be friends? Huh why would they

480
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: be French? Tina Lasagna. I'm just saying you could have

481
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: Lasgna anywhere. Kids slide to notice the shadows on the

482
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: rocket slide three? Oh, excuse me? Can you explain why

483
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: the shadows in the rocket really proved that those pictures

484
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: are fake? Let me move on to slide three and

485
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: you'll see if I zoom in here. Isn't it kind

486
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 1: of nuts that this guy's using slides like there's a

487
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: projector right there. It's like, I think he's showing us

488
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 1: the original film, But I feel like that the original

489
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 1: films can always be doctored. You can't. You can't manipulate

490
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: anything online as a fact. Do you think since it's

491
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,719
Speaker 1: just us to watch you, we could probably go up

492
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: there and see it for ourselves? You think he'd mind?

493
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: What do you mean to see it for ourselves? Ask

494
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: good when you come up there? And what do you

495
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: mean to see it for ourself? Like? Get up there

496
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: and look at the slides before they're projected. Oh my god,

497
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: you're saying that he's manipulating at somehow. I don't know

498
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: that he's not. I don't know that he's not. God,

499
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 1: it's crazy. Yes, of course, excuse me slides? Yes? Uh?

500
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: Is there a way for us to see the slides

501
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: have verify that that's actually the image being projected? I

502
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: cannot help you there. Huh funny slide seven. Did I

503
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 1: think you're right? I think, hey, you guys as a

504
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: bored as I am by this, Yeah, hey, I got

505
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 1: I got the original as a pruder moon Landing film.

506
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: What you know, as a pruder shot that Kennedy assassination

507
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: he also shut. He also shut the moon land That's

508
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: what I always believe that I knew that four years later.

509
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, do the math? Do the math? One?

510
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: When was the assassination? When was a Kennedy assassination? Yeah,

511
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: but they'll tell they'll tell you it was Ninette. But

512
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: in fact that he was not assassinate until nineteen sixty five,

513
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 1: not successfully. God, And so wait four years after sixty five?

514
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: Was a moon landing sixty nine sixty nine? But but

515
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: reverse those numbers and what else happened in ninety six? Stock? No, well,

516
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: yeah that was there was a wood Stock, right, there

517
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 1: was a wood Stock ninety six that between the wood

518
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: stuck ninety four and ninety nine, it was successful. It

519
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 1: was a good wood stock. Don't talk about talking about

520
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 1: They don't talk about that one. Talking about the Prouder film. Yeah,

521
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: which one, don't get me started. I had seven? You

522
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: got seven? It is you guys want to bull this place.

523
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: There's a there's another speaker down the road. He's talking

524
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: about the new Matrix movie. That wasn't a Bob No,

525
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: not Lasagna, just how it's just how it sounds. L

526
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: A z O n y A. Tina Lasagna, Tina Lasagna. Okay,

527
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: just checking the records here, and I'm not going to

528
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 1: give that on air. I'm just here to give you

529
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: an interview. I understand this is before you go on air.

530
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: I just need to have your information, so before you're

531
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 1: able to go on air. I see the red light

532
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: on that camera, and I know that you're recording for

533
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: that station that's recording the actual news that's going on

534
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 1: right now. Are you trying to Are you trying to

535
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 1: get a scavenger hunt from my dismembered body going, I mean,

536
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: what do you think is going to exactly happen? Once

537
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:59,239
Speaker 1: I give everyone my address? You're just giving me. This

538
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 1: is confidential information. I need to be able to send

539
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 1: you your your tax information. That that's why we're paying

540
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 1: you for this. You're paying I'm so sorry. I thought

541
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: that this was I thought I was getting interviewed for

542
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 1: the local news about what I know about the bomb

543
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: as I was dating the bomber. But yes, we were

544
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: paying you for that. We pay everyone that gets on

545
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 1: the local news. Hey, pet, I can hear the sirens come,

546
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: and let's just throw this detonator around while we still

547
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: can son. Thanks pops. Hey, good news is the the prison.

548
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: It's got new slides, so I could be fun. Yeah,

549
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 1: I'll come visit you. Well, I will slide down together,

550
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,800
Speaker 1: so I don't know if that'll be possible. But thanks.

551
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: You got a kid, and that's our seconds alright. Three

552
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 1: is from listen or. Andrew Laramie wrote, Hello, Kevin. I've

553
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: been listening since the beginning, and it's always a joy

554
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 1: to hear all of you get no wacky situations. The

555
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,919
Speaker 1: chemistry you all have is helpable and it really set

556
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 1: your podcasts apart from the rest. My suggestion is as follows.

557
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 1: McDonald's gets a bad batch of frying oil and it

558
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: starts turning the fries into hungry a sentient beings. I

559
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 1: hope you're all keeping safe and healthy. Andrew Laramie from Montreal,

560
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: what do you want me to put this? Put a

561
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: right in the tank, idiot, Just open it up and

562
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 1: put it in the tank. It doesn't look like the

563
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: other one. The oil you know why, I don't know

564
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: why they made us pay you a minimum? Way, you're dough.

565
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 1: Just pour it into fryer, jesus, I'm just dropping it off,

566
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: my god, put it in the front. Don't just drop

567
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,839
Speaker 1: it off. Put it in the fryer. Did you hear

568
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: the glug? Glug? I was doing it? What is wrong

569
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 1: with you? Manute? I'm just gonna manatur. Okay, I'm like,

570
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: pretty big deal here. I can fucking fire you. I

571
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 1: don't work for you. Do you understand that I'm an

572
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,720
Speaker 1: independent concert bring this? Did she not bring the oil

573
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:14,240
Speaker 1: in today? Yes? Who do you think you did it for?

574
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: For the franchise? The owner, not the manager of this McDonald's. Yeah, well,

575
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: my dad's the franchise e owner. And when my dad died,

576
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fucking imposs to this place. So if

577
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: you're not fired now, just wait till my dad passes

578
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: and you're fucking out of here. You know what, man,

579
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: I I really will hope your dad has a long life,

580
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: and I hope you know, I hope you have a

581
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: real shitty day. Will work all right? Once some water here? No,

582
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: I just you know, what that was pretty hurtful. I

583
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 1: hope I have a shitty day at work. I'm trying

584
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: to please a bunch of people with hap meals over here.

585
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 1: I'm out of here, man, I'm gonna go. I don't

586
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: give a ship. Alright, I dropped off the oil. Thank

587
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 1: you for putting it. Take you're putting it in? Yeah? Whatever, man, whatever,

588
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. You're done. You're done here. Well, well,

589
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: well look who's back from his run? Took you long

590
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 1: enough out there? I mean, how many places did you

591
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: have to stop today? Huh? Just one place? Just that,

592
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 1: Psycho McDonald's all right, jesus, Well listen, we need you

593
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: back here in a time timely manner. Yeah, I'm dispatch here,

594
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 1: I know, so when I call you, it's like you

595
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 1: know your dad runs his dispatch. Okay, yeah, one day

596
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: I will yeah, one day you will be right now,

597
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 1: here's my boss. All right, all right, I need you

598
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 1: to take the special Scary oil now to the big

599
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: industrial complex. Okay, okay, all right, she'd be right over.

600
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,359
Speaker 1: Is that the official name for it? Is that? Like

601
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 1: the actual name they gave it, special scary, special scary Oil?

602
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: What did I say? You said special scary. It's just crazy.

603
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 1: But that that's like what they would right. Is it

604
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 1: just me or is that oil a little bit less

605
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: uh or more opaque than it usually is? I believe

606
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 1: it means that you can It's like it's got like

607
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: a flatness to it. I can't see very deep inside

608
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: of it. Usually you can see the price that are

609
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: down below because translucent. Instead it's the oil they gave us.

610
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: So yeah, I know I saw it. Hello Brian, Hello

611
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: with anybody here at Hello, going, Bryan, get the going

612
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: very sad. My child needs a happy meal. There's I'll

613
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: handle us. I'll handle us. Hey, I welcome to McDonald's. Um.

614
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: Before you ask, the only happy Meal toy we have

615
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 1: left in the space Jam collection is Bab's Bunny. God

616
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 1: damn it, you have seven, but that's all they allocated

617
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: to us. We've got so many Bab's Bunnies and that

618
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 1: is what is in the happy Meal currently. Well, let

619
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 1: me just say we we ate here a couple of

620
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: weeks ago, and I want to make a return on

621
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,760
Speaker 1: the fries. The fries just want to make a return

622
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,399
Speaker 1: on the fries, like a full refund, and I want

623
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 1: a new fry. Now do you have a received No,

624
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 1: I don't. Is that a problem or do you want

625
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 1: me to sue you? Um? This is just weird for me.

626
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 1: I usually I guess we can give you fry credit.

627
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,479
Speaker 1: Look at my child, Look at my child. I'm so sad. Hey,

628
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 1: um jerry um am. I the only one hearing like

629
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: hundreds of tiny cries coming from this friar. I think

630
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: that's just the sound of its sizzling. It's probably because

631
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 1: they're so frosty. When they go down, it's just the

632
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:43,280
Speaker 1: whistle of the ice. It sounds like hundreds of souls

633
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 1: crying out. Negaty. I've never heard crying out negaty. Up.

634
00:39:49,520 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 1: Pull it out, pull it out, pull it out right? Okay, okay,

635
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: all these fries have have little faces all over the place.

636
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 1: I need to fry. I need a fry's dad. I

637
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,919
Speaker 1: got a very unhappy mother and child out there. We're

638
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: trying to catch the fries. They're running around like one

639
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 1: like whole and based on the data that we have

640
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: right now, gentlemen, we're gonna be able to use this

641
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: oil to create any kind of sentience in any non

642
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: organic life form. He sounds so rich, right, he just

643
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 1: sounds rich. I can hear you, Brian, what's up? I

644
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: can hear it. I was just I am rich? You

645
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: sound rich? I am like, how does that happen? Plain?

646
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: Let me just clarify. Are we going to put super

647
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 1: scary on the label or is that just more of

648
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,479
Speaker 1: an in house nickname for sounds rich too? I feel

649
00:40:56,480 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 1: as though it simplifies the product, just super scary. Yes,

650
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 1: originally it was compound fourteen nine, but we just kind

651
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: of none descripted exactly what kind of compound is that?

652
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 1: But super scary oil seemed to be right to the point, gentlemen,

653
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 1: where will be our first market for super scary oil?

654
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 1: Where should we deploy it? Doesn't sound that's a great question.

655
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: And if you look at the slides, just exactly where

656
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 1: let me just go to slide one least wealthy, that's

657
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: super rich, but well, slide to where is this? Why

658
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 1: is it not going? Hold on? I don't know what

659
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 1: order there? You sound like the help you? It was

660
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:34,439
Speaker 1: like a hundred slides in here. I'm not sure which

661
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: one had the I'm supposed to help with this. I'm sorry. Here,

662
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 1: would you like me to let's see here? This is

663
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 1: the folder you need? Okay, it should be working now,

664
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: so I don't. I don't need your laptop. I'm working

665
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 1: on the slides here. Okay, So well, I've got all

666
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: the slides converted into JPEGs and pdpps into this laptop.

667
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 1: Do you think I want a jpeg? I paid good

668
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 1: money for this vintage slide, said, and we're going to

669
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 1: use it. Oh pake oh p a m m. I'm done.

670
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: I'm not done. Okay, can I get the language of origin?

671
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 1: Are you kidding? Can she get the language of origin?

672
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: Language of origin? As you suck? Yeah, that's not very nice.

673
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 1: She's a child. That really makes me so sad. You

674
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: suck s u q u E right, she's a kid. Guys,

675
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: she's not a good speller. I think that was a clue,

676
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 1: because there's no way that fifty year old man doesn't

677
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 1: know how to spell suck. I'm ready to go. Oh

678
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: p a q you Okay, you've passed the tests. You've

679
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:04,280
Speaker 1: passed the asked my child. This is yes, the Wizards

680
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 1: of Spelling. Sorry, sorry we had to be so harsh

681
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: that this is incredible. I always thought that I was

682
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: doomed to have a boring life here in Salem's so

683
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:25,080
Speaker 1: boring and be sad all the time. You know you

684
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: are the chosen one. Did you see those French fresh

685
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 1: better her? I thought they were straight worms. Gentlemen, this

686
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 1: is a wizard in ceremony. Please please show respect ward

687
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: like a wizard. Are you two not wizards? We were supposed? Yes?

688
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 1: How why how did you get in here? Who speak? Now?

689
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: But we will turn you into I am a wizard

690
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: from four and he is a Is that what you think?

691
00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: Wizards sound like? I'm a wizard from near m what

692
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: hero wizards? All we do is read that this isn't

693
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: What order do you come from? Huh? Order of antelope?

694
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: Oh god, Jerry's dead and nobody please fry guys, just

695
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: let me go. Stop trying me to the ground. And

696
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:28,839
Speaker 1: this the soft ser machine is broken again. I don't

697
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: think it has anything to do with the sentries. Maybe

698
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: we can strike up a deal. Maybe what do you want?

699
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 1: And keep in mind that we're McDonald's employees. There's not

700
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 1: allowed we can bring to the table here. Gave a car,

701
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: I have an electric bike? M I get dropped off

702
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 1: by my mom? What else? What else? I think one

703
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,479
Speaker 1: thing we could say? We want to stop in cook

704
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: to live? Can't we at least have that the table.

705
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: No more burning us alive, no more French fries. Okay, um,

706
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 1: you guys have to tell that to the lady out there. Though.

707
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: If you're not French fries, then you're just raw potatoes.

708
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:20,479
Speaker 1: And I mean that's kind of It's weird, right because

709
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 1: you won't become sentient until you're putting the oil. But

710
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 1: if you're putting the oil, then you become fries. So

711
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 1: you are fries and you're saying no fries. Okay, Well,

712
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 1: feel like an existential crisis. We've always been sentient, we've

713
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: just been given the chance to talk about it. Now.

714
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 1: You've been burning her potato people for years, so you

715
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: want to stay raw, raw, raw. In fact, I'd rather

716
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 1: not even be cut up. I'd rather stay potato. I'd

717
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 1: rather be left in the soil. But you were cut up,

718
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: so yeah, you look, the data is clear, Okay, the

719
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 1: data is clear of how the oil works. I don't

720
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: think this needs an explanation, all right. The slides will

721
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 1: tell you if I can figure it out. Damn it.

722
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: Where where you're talking visual slides or like we we slides? Yes, yes,

723
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: we we we slides yes yes yes, Now look we

724
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: still need funding, all right, So we're still gonna have

725
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: to go out there and knock on doors and ask

726
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: our neighbors, friends and family for as much money as

727
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 1: I possibly give us. Okay, so why don't we start

728
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 1: that now, everyone in the boardroom and pass on a

729
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 1: little hat. Then the hat has been dipped in oil.

730
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: So it is this is a tiny hat. A little happen,

731
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. Credit cards are fine in there. If

732
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 1: you stack them up, it won't be that you know. Also,

733
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: if you hold the bills, there's ways to get it.

734
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: It's it's the size. That's a really small hat. Mom.

735
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you. There are no

736
00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 1: fries today, that's what. There are fries to Star Friday. Now,

737
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 1: why don't you use a little wizard power of yours

738
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 1: turn everyone into a little umbrella. I'm not allowed to

739
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 1: use it in public until I turn fifteen. Oh, don't

740
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 1: worry about that. You're fine. Just hi, no, hollo you right? Okay.

741
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 1: Oh it's sad. This makes this is not a happy

742
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:40,320
Speaker 1: meal at all. My daughter is sad again. My daughter

743
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: is sad. I need to talk to somebody now now,

744
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 1: is there no one gonna help you? Mike's first day

745
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:53,799
Speaker 1: on the job. Hello, murder Mike, beautiful name, Thank you.

746
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 1: I just want to say I want to make a complaint. Okay,

747
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 1: are you ready? You gonna run it down? Nope, make

748
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: it okay's just gonna memorize it. Well, I want to

749
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,399
Speaker 1: complain about you too. Number one, there were no friends.

750
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,839
Speaker 1: We didn't eat. The fries were running around, disgusting. Some

751
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 1: of them were on the floor. And secondly, now we

752
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 1: get individual who's murder Mike come in here and tell

753
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: us that he's not going to write down I my

754
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 1: hour complaint. Very upset, very I want to refund. You

755
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: want to refund? Okay, I can process that. Let me

756
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 1: just refund you with my Oh my god, oh my god,

757
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: oh my god. I have the power to heal you.

758
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 1: But I shouldn't do it in public until in fifteen.

759
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: Oh god, what do I do? Dispatch coming through? I

760
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: guess whose dad dined? I'm now the boss there. So

761
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: a couple of things are gonna change. One, you're not

762
00:48:54,200 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: gonna call me big Babo big babo. That's official. And uh,

763
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: second of all, no, we're gonna start there big Babo,

764
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 1: big Babo out ah. Feeling pretty good? All right? You

765
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: some inventory now, cooking oil, cooking oil, special scary oils

766
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 1: special Wait, cooking oil, cooking oil, special scary oils. What

767
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 1: the hell? Oh Dad, I wish you were alive. I

768
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 1: wish you were alive to help me in this moment.

769
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Obviously oil has been

770
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: the wrong oil has been given to the wrong place,

771
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: and surely they're gonna be grave. You're still on. Oh yeah,

772
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 1: we heard all of that. Baba. We're gonna unionize if

773
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: we're gonna use this against you. Man, I'm sorry. I

774
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 1: just had to be upfront about it. Man, I just

775
00:49:56,760 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 1: want you to know. No, all right, all right, m

776
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:10,359
Speaker 1: you're still on. Man. I know that the slide thing

777
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 1: was a big mistake. But one thing I don't know

778
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 1: if we've thought through, is if we put the scary

779
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 1: oil in a container, won't that container then become sentient? Actually,

780
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 1: it's like glue, right, you know how glue doesn't stick

781
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,360
Speaker 1: to itself in the bottle. You're starting to sound more wealthy.

782
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Well, check out my four oh one K.

783
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 1: That is a four, a one and a K. Look

784
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:40,439
Speaker 1: at that. So as I was saying, glue doesn't stick

785
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:44,319
Speaker 1: to the inside of a bottle, does it? It does not.

786
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 1: If you leave it open, it becomes a solid like

787
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 1: trust me, I've got I am full of I don't

788
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 1: trust you. I don't trust you because just got a

789
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: big package from an investor something McAfee. Why don't I

790
00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: go ahead and open that? You can, I'll see what

791
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 1: inside and that's our show. Everybody, let's thank her. How

792
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: can we see what they're up to? Chris Savarado. I

793
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 1: just wish that girl would have used her powers, you

794
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 1: know what I mean. She could have helped her mom,

795
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:22,919
Speaker 1: so in my mind she did, but then her mom

796
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: came back and started complaining, so then she reversed it,

797
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: and then she's still got in trouble with the Wizarding Council.

798
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 1: A lot of stuff happened to my that makes sense. Um,

799
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 1: I'm just hanging out, Cole happen to have happy to

800
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: be playing and having a good time with everybody. Noise Greigkowski, Hey,

801
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 1: I was slightly taken it back when that second suggestion

802
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: said that we were that we were a bi weekly podcast.

803
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, we're not every other week. We are a

804
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 1: semi semi weekly podcast twice a week. That sounds so wrong.

805
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 1: Bye week by means too every two weeks is bi

806
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 1: weekly twice a week. You're semi weekly half a week.

807
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my god, here you go. We've

808
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:18,439
Speaker 1: learned something today A semi truck like twice as long. Boy,

809
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: my mind is blown. J C d j oh. Thanks

810
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 1: for having me. I know that I get to be

811
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,399
Speaker 1: here quite often that every week I'm wondering if it's

812
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:32,359
Speaker 1: the last. Um, thanks for having me. Check me up,

813
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 1: check me out a game front on YouTube. I believe

814
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:39,359
Speaker 1: you have first bright of refusal in every episode. There

815
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 1: you go, Jackie ganzals do Ruthie. Oh, yes, thank you

816
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 1: for having me. Um. I have a weekly podcast coming.

817
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 1: It is weekly, and then so it comes out the

818
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 1: last week of October, and it's weekly for November, the

819
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 1: most wonderful part of the year, reviewing Christmas movies. But

820
00:52:56,920 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: then it becomes semi weekly in December. We ramp it

821
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:04,399
Speaker 1: up as the season, you know, as the day comes near,

822
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,320
Speaker 1: we gotta ramp it up. And then what about February

823
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 1: and it is gone. It is no non weekly. It's

824
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:18,320
Speaker 1: a limited a limited time adventure. Does that make sense?

825
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 1: I'm at Jackie TRUTHI yet on things. Thank you nice

826
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 1: Joey Greer. That's how you say it. Check out Alchemy.

827
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 1: This is Instagram and Alchemy this pod on Reddit. People

828
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: are talking about stuff. People are, you know, discovering new

829
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 1: Check it out, check it out nice. I'm at Cole Stratton,

830
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Speaker 1: Rat Stratton, Cole on socials. Good to sketch Fest dot

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Speaker 1: com our twenty anniversary festival. It's coming in January. Lineup

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00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: will be announced November night, TA tickets on sale two

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Speaker 1: days later. Uh. There will be at least two performers

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Speaker 1: um probably a thousand, but we shall see as things

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Speaker 1: are starting to come together, so go check that out.

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Speaker 1: Let's thank our engineering producer Doug Babe and the fine

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Speaker 1: folks at I Heart Media dot com. Please write to

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Speaker 1: us at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's

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Speaker 1: dot com. Until next time,