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Speaker 1: This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some spectacular stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: real quick, we got a two minute break from our

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Speaker 1: lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend scheduled a mole removal procedure without talking to me.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he talked to the mole in the background. I

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Speaker 2: have a mole on the outside of my private area.

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Speaker 2: It's about the size of a pencil eraser. It's never

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Speaker 2: been a problem for me, and I don't mind it.

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Speaker 2: It's hidden even in the skimpiest of bikini bottoms, doesn't

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Speaker 2: hurt or get in the way of anything. It isn't lumpy,

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Speaker 2: doesn't grow any weird hair, et cetera. It's just a

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Speaker 2: harmless little bump on the side of my volva that

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Speaker 2: I've had since I was born. Even when I'm entirely unclothed,

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Speaker 2: it isn't visible unless my legs are spread. So it's

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Speaker 2: the kind of thing only me and my spicy sleet

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Speaker 2: partners have ever seen. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: Throwaway fourteen fifty two on the Okay Storytime Separate. So

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Speaker 2: I've had an inkling that my boyfriend has never been

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Speaker 2: a fan of this mole, but he won't admit it.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes he'll absent mindedly rub it between his fingers with

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Speaker 2: his nose crinkled like an expression.

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Speaker 1: He's like just he just goes out. He hits you

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Speaker 1: at the h.

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Speaker 2: But when I asked him about it two different times,

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Speaker 2: he insisted the not quite disgusted facial expression was unrelated.

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Speaker 2: I assumed that he didn't like it, but knew it

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Speaker 2: was none of his business or concern, and probably didn't

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Speaker 2: want to say it because he didn't want to sound rude.

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Speaker 2: He's asked me once if I've ever thought about removing it,

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Speaker 2: to which I replied that it's always been a part

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Speaker 2: of me and I wasn't interested in removal the problem.

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Speaker 2: My birthday was a few weeks ago. I've been getting

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Speaker 2: Brazilian waxes since I was a teenager. It's just my

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Speaker 2: personal preference. As a birthday present, my boyfriend prepaid for

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Speaker 2: almost a year's worth of waxes at the medspa I've

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Speaker 2: always gone to. This seems like a great gift, useful, thoughtful,

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Speaker 2: and saves me a ton of money. This Medspa does

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Speaker 2: a variety of other surfaces as well as waxing, they

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Speaker 2: do tattoo removal, laser hair removal, makeup tattoos, botox, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: I've had a standing appointment there every three weeks for years.

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Speaker 2: This morning I went to my regular appointment. My wax are,

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Speaker 2: who I've known for years, gushed about how kind of

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend it was to call in for my services,

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Speaker 2: and we went about the wax as normal. There's an

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Speaker 2: oil she uses that helps to soothe the skin after

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Speaker 2: the wax, and I was waiting for that to soak

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Speaker 2: in when she brought out a wand that I was

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Speaker 2: not familiar with. I asked her what it was for,

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Speaker 2: and she said the freezing. Like I've had stuff removed

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Speaker 2: with the freezing.

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Speaker 1: Thing, Yeah, already know? Does it hurt?

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Speaker 2: I assume she was prepping for her next client and

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Speaker 2: stayed on the table. Then she began wiping the oil

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Speaker 2: off and applied a cream directly over my mole. At

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Speaker 2: this point I sat up and asked her what she

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Speaker 2: was doing. She said, oh, this cream helps to now

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Speaker 2: the area before I freeze the mole. Then we'll cut

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Speaker 2: it off and you'll just need a stitch or two

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Speaker 2: in a bandage, and then you'll be ready to go. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: I would break up over this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you raise. This isn't even a discussion,

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Speaker 3: and it's just like you tried to low key do

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Speaker 3: this like with her acknowledgment or consent.

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Speaker 1: It's like ridiculos honestly disgusting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, go remove your own moles. We fumbled through the

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Speaker 2: awkward conversation that followed, and the bottom line is that

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend had paid for my mole to be removed

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Speaker 2: as well two hundred dollars without telling me. The receptionist

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Speaker 2: who books the appointments assumed that I knew and I

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Speaker 2: sign a yearly waiver for all services from them, so

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Speaker 2: it was basically just slipped in. The receptionist said that

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend asked about the process over the phone, so

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Speaker 2: he was aware that this procedure involved cutting something off

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Speaker 2: my body and would involve anesthetic and stitches. Easy.

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Speaker 1: Not really a universe in which this is, okay.

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Speaker 2: Zero universe, No, zero universe. No, guys, I'm furious and

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Speaker 2: cannot tell if my reaction is justified or if I'm

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Speaker 2: seeing read for no real reason. This feels like such

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Speaker 2: a breach of my personal boundaries. Not to mention disrespectful

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Speaker 2: of my bodily autonomy. Indeed, Yeah, I know it's small,

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Speaker 2: but it's plastic surgery. There is no medical backing to

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Speaker 2: having this mole removed. It would be entirely cosmetic. I

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Speaker 2: obviously it didn't go forward with the procedure, and now

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Speaker 2: I'm struggling with whether my anger is appropriate to the situation.

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Speaker 2: I have not talked to him about this yet. It

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Speaker 2: happened this morning, and I will be seeing him this

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Speaker 2: evening when I get home from work. Right now, I'm

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Speaker 2: thinking of breaking up with him, but feel like that

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Speaker 2: may be an overaction and can't tell if my judgment

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Speaker 2: is clouded. What would be an appropriate way to address

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Speaker 2: the situation. Break up with him?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, break up with him. I mean, look, yes, break

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Speaker 3: up with him. But like, if you feel like you

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Speaker 3: don't want to to make this guy see the light,

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Speaker 3: you need to start being like, all right, well, let's

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Speaker 3: do a little bit of an enlargement procedure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah no, I no.

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Speaker 2: Every time every time you're having spices sleep, you go mmmm.

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Speaker 3: And then maybe he'll understand that that's just not how you.

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Speaker 3: It's pretty messy interact with your partner. It could be

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Speaker 3: a conversation, I think, but like, it can't be something

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Speaker 3: that you do without her approval. And I feel like

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Speaker 3: the reason that it was done like that was because

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Speaker 3: he got a sense that she'd be like, well, no,

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to do that.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he can do whatever she wants. Oh, we can

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Speaker 2: only offer advice. But because it has progressed to literally

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Speaker 2: trying to sneak a surgery in without her consent, I think.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yep, it's it's very extreme. Yeah. Update.

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Speaker 2: First off, I just want to thank everyone for their

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Speaker 2: support and validation of what I was feeling. I was

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Speaker 2: second guessing myself and feeling like I was overreacting, But

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Speaker 2: after more reflection and what happened later on the evening,

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Speaker 2: I feel vindicated in my anger. I got home and

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Speaker 2: he nonchalantly asked me how my appointment went. I managed

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Speaker 2: to stay calm and told him how angry I was

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Speaker 2: that he tried to arrange for the mole to be

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Speaker 2: removed without my consent and knowledge, especially because I found

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Speaker 2: out that he was informed while booking the appointment that

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Speaker 2: it would involve anesthetic and stitches. He said that he

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Speaker 2: wasn't sorry because he thought he was doing me a

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Speaker 2: favor by forcing me to bite the bullet and get

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Speaker 2: it done.

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Speaker 3: Whoa break up, break up twice, break up, get back

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Speaker 3: together immediately, and then bring up with him again.

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Speaker 2: He said, the only thing that he was sorry about

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Speaker 2: was signing my name on the waiver, because he knows

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Speaker 2: he should not have done that. Record scratch at my appointment,

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Speaker 2: my waxer it said something along the lines of, but

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Speaker 2: you signed the waiver. When I was blindsided by her

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Speaker 2: prepping for the mole removal, she was confused that I

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Speaker 2: was not aware of the mole removal plant. I had

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Speaker 2: assumed she was talking about the waiver I had signed

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Speaker 2: just a few weeks ago that I have to sign

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Speaker 2: every year for my services performed at the medspot. I

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Speaker 2: was in a hurry to get out of there, so

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Speaker 2: I didn't press further. Just made it clear that I

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Speaker 2: did not want a mole removal, and gathered my clothes

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Speaker 2: and left. As it turns out, she was not talking

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Speaker 2: about the annual general waiver. When my boyfriend booked the appointment,

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Speaker 2: a waiver was emailed over which he signed as me

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Speaker 2: and sent back to them. We are in a South

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Speaker 2: American country where plastic surgery is extremely common I am

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Speaker 2: the only woman in my office without breast implants. I

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Speaker 2: was born in America and haven't quite subscribed to this

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Speaker 2: aspect of the culture. So things are a lot more

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Speaker 2: laxier than I imagine they are in the US. So not

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Speaker 2: only did he schedule and pay for plastic surgery on

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Speaker 2: my private area, he forged my signature on a legal

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Speaker 2: document giving permission for it to be done. There is

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Speaker 2: no coming back from this, and I told him so,

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Speaker 2: started crying.

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Speaker 1: Oh boo hoo, and saying that.

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Speaker 2: He just wanted me to be the most beautiful I

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Speaker 2: could be.

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Speaker 1: Have you Oh my god, I block you suck dude,

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Speaker 1: How do you see that?

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Speaker 4: See?

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Speaker 2: How does it come out of his mouth? And he's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's that's totally fun. Thankfully, I was too angry to

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Speaker 2: cry in front of him, and I just told him

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Speaker 2: to leave. He packed some clothes and I put the

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Speaker 2: rest of his belongings in a detached garage that he

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Speaker 2: has a key to. I made him leave his house

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Speaker 2: keys and told him that the garage locks would be

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Speaker 2: changed by the end of the week. I own the house,

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Speaker 2: thank god, and I'm changing the locks on the door

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Speaker 2: this evening, except for the garage. I'm giving him the

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Speaker 2: week to clear out the rest of his things from there.

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Speaker 2: I haven't blocked on social media and feel very refreshed,

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Speaker 2: Like a weight has been lifted, and a weight would

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Speaker 2: be lifted from you if you join us live every

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Speaker 2: week to have three pmpst on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok.

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Speaker 2: And there is a little bit more. But like, so

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Speaker 2: obviously a breakup and you did it so good. Just

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Speaker 2: moral of the story before we fully finish it. Don't

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Speaker 2: comment on your partners. Just keep your.

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Speaker 3: Mouth shut, certainly not in that kind of way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, there is a difference between saying like you

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Speaker 2: could maybe get away with saying something along the lines

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Speaker 2: of like, oh my god, I noticed that you have

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Speaker 2: a lump and maybe it's cancerous.

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Speaker 1: You should go get it checked out.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, if you do care to the extent where

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Speaker 3: it's going to drive you to the point of forging

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Speaker 3: documents and signing her up for plastic surgery, you need

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Speaker 3: to leave her because you have weird priorities and you

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Speaker 3: can't just force that onto somebody else.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, Like, multiple times in my life I've had

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Speaker 2: a person in comment about something like about my body.

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Speaker 2: It made me very insecure about it. I'm like, just

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Speaker 2: shut up, like, don't say that, hush now, please, why

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Speaker 2: are we bringing it up. I'm sure I will be

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Speaker 2: hurting later and missing him, but this showed me a

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Speaker 2: side of him that I absolutely cannot live with.

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Speaker 1: I may not be as.

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Speaker 2: Tan or as smooth or as busty as all the

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Speaker 2: women around here, but I deserve better. I know that much.

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Speaker 2: And now my mole and I are going to settle

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Speaker 2: down with a bottle of wine and low tinder.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, thank you again for everything. Don't do that.

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Speaker 2: Do that. It's it's sometimes you gotta go through it

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Speaker 2: and then you're like, okay, now I'm done.

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Speaker 1: We get it.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, there's two different tenders. There's tender for women and

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Speaker 3: there's tender for men. Tinder for women is an extremely

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Speaker 3: different experience than tender for men. But either way, I

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Speaker 3: don't support either of them. They're bad for everyone's brains.

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Speaker 1: I don't like them.

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Speaker 2: But you know, it works for some people. I mean

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Speaker 2: it can depending on some people. Are surprisingly worse.

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Speaker 1: For hot people.

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Speaker 3: Actually, I just went through like an entire so don't

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Speaker 3: do not come at me for saying that.

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Speaker 1: Because my sources have sources.

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Speaker 2: I've got source.

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Speaker 1: Tinder is a fundamentally different experience.

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Speaker 3: You can even take out whether it's between men or women,

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Speaker 3: it's between whether you're super hot or not. It's like,

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Speaker 3: I think it's something like three percent of Tinder profiles

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Speaker 3: take ninety five percent of all likes.

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Speaker 2: I think my experience on dating apps is mostly that

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Speaker 2: I just get really bored really quickly. Like I think

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Speaker 2: it's like an ADHD thing of just being like, okay,

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Speaker 2: can't interact with people.

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Speaker 3: I think the most that you should have in terms

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Speaker 3: of converse on the app should be like, hey, you

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Speaker 3: look cool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so do you Hey, do.

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Speaker 3: You want to meet here and like hang out or

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Speaker 3: like get a coffee or do this?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Sure done, Now you're talking in real life.

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Speaker 2: I think it makes sense. But also as a woman,

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Speaker 2: I would like I need to suss out their vibes.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's why you need to learn martial arts.

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Speaker 2: But also this is why I don't use the dating

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Speaker 2: apps for me, because I don't think they work for me,

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Speaker 2: but I know they work for other people.

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Speaker 1: And also, this is the end of this story.

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Speaker 4: My boyfriend was trying to cook. He didn't even put

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Speaker 4: it in the oil. I thirty female have been dating

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Speaker 4: this guy thirty three mal for one year now. He

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Speaker 4: moved into my house right away. I cook for him

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Speaker 4: practically daily for the entire year, despite having a very

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Speaker 4: busy job. He's also very messy, so I'm clean up

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Speaker 4: after him all the time. He never offered to help

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Speaker 4: with cooking. His reasons, I don't have talent for cooking

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Speaker 4: like you do.

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Speaker 2: I freaking hate that reason.

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Speaker 4: Cleaning or any chores around the house.

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Speaker 2: You're his mother.

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Speaker 4: He did help to do some minor things like putting

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Speaker 4: the dishes in the dishwasher taking them out, but only

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Speaker 4: after I asked him repeatedly, never voluntarily living with the

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Speaker 4: manchild leave, I just want you to want to do

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Speaker 4: the dishes. By the way, this comes from Impossible Angel

258
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,800
Speaker 4: thirty six on the r slash ok storytime Subredded. So

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Speaker 4: sometimes I'm baffled at how much common sense he is

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Speaker 4: lacking in general. For example, the one time he did

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Speaker 4: try to cook, he didn't even put the oil in.

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Speaker 4: He claimed he didn't know about cooking oil's existence. How

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Speaker 4: did this man exist for this many years resulting in

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Speaker 4: complete ruin of the pots? In fact, he doesn't even

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Speaker 4: know how to use a ty twister to seal the

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Speaker 4: bread back. It's not like his family is super rich

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Speaker 4: or anything for him to get away with this much ignorance.

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Speaker 4: Even the Kardashians know how to cook. I try to

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Speaker 4: teach him how to do simple cooking many times, but

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Speaker 4: he doesn't really want to learn. We live in a

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Speaker 4: rather small city, so if I don't cook, it's going

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Speaker 4: to be fast food or greasy fake Asian food that day.

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Speaker 4: On top of it, he's a picky eater too.

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Speaker 2: Ah.

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Speaker 4: I'm okay with eating leftovers for multiple days in a row,

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Speaker 4: but he wants fresh and different food every day, so

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Speaker 4: I have to cook daily. I complain to him, begging

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Speaker 4: him to cook, just some simple things like pasta, air fry,

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Speaker 4: salmon or salad once in a while to help out,

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Speaker 4: But he said he talked to.

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Speaker 1: His mother about it.

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Speaker 4: She said, if he doesn't like cooking, then he doesn't

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Speaker 4: have to do it. There are two people in a relationship,

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Speaker 4: one has to cook more than the other. What does

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Speaker 4: she mean by that statement? Do they expect me to

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Speaker 4: cook and do the chores all the time because I'm

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Speaker 4: a woman. I work twelve hours per day. Is it

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Speaker 4: so horrible to ask my boyfriend and chip him for

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Speaker 4: some help to share the housework. I'm just so stressed

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Speaker 4: out to think how nightmarish my life will be once

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Speaker 4: we have kids.

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Speaker 1: Girl, don't have kids. You're only a year in.

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Speaker 2: You're a year in. Leave him.

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Speaker 4: I saw a nice little test to see if you

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Speaker 4: want to have kids with a person, and you basically

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Speaker 4: ask yourself, would you want a version of your partner copied? Like,

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Speaker 4: would you want like a small version of the ear

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Speaker 4: part you want.

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Speaker 2: To keep seeing your partner? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And I'm.

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Speaker 4: Gonna say o, Pete, I don't think you want to

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Speaker 4: see a little carbon copy of your.

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Speaker 2: Partner, especially because if you have sons, this is how

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Speaker 2: they're gonna think.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I will take care of it.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it, and then you're gonna be picking up

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Speaker 2: after everyone.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Updates.

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Speaker 4: Oh. To summarize, I thirty females started dating a man

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Speaker 4: thirty three mail about a year ago. He was my

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Speaker 4: first boyfriend slash relationship, so I was very committed and involved,

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Speaker 4: but for him I was his fourth girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: That's the thing I think sometimes when you're in your

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Speaker 2: first relationship, you're like, I'll just let anything slide.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 2: It's fine.

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Speaker 4: Yep, great, get out, get out, get out. We met

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Speaker 4: right through work. He moved in with me right away,

320
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Speaker 4: and he recently moved to a different city nearby for

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Speaker 4: a job. I encountered many issues during this relationship, including

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Speaker 4: but not limited to him not wanting to cook, clean,

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Speaker 4: or help with any chores. This continued even after he

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Speaker 4: moved to the new apartment, so whenever I would go

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Speaker 4: there to visit him, I was still doing those things

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Speaker 4: for him.

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Speaker 2: That's insane.

328
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Speaker 4: Essentially doing chores for two places.

329
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Speaker 1: That's insane.

330
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,560
Speaker 2: Oh nice, Why are you dating this man?

331
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Speaker 4: He also didn't want to tell his parents about me.

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00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,600
Speaker 4: Eventually he told them after I threatened to leave, leave,

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00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,640
Speaker 4: but he still doesn't want to mention me at all

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00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,520
Speaker 4: during his phone conversations with them.

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Speaker 1: This isn't really how it goes.

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Speaker 2: The thing is. Also, it's so concerning that he moved

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00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,960
Speaker 2: in that quickly, because she said right away. I don't

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00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,200
Speaker 2: even know what right away means.

339
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Speaker 4: Was he like in between places because he isn't he

340
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,479
Speaker 4: did have an apartment.

341
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, see, he probably was in between places. And he's like,

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00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 2: I need a place to stay, and she was like, well,

343
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,240
Speaker 2: you can stay with me, and then they kind of

344
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:38,320
Speaker 2: cemented this dynamic of her doing everything for him.

345
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Speaker 4: Yeah, he used to live with his mom, then he

346
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,520
Speaker 4: found a new mom. Yeah, and now now his mom

347
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,640
Speaker 4: visits him to clean.

348
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Speaker 2: Up for him.

349
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:48,360
Speaker 4: Some people accuse me of making up stories. I wish sadly,

350
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,200
Speaker 4: this is my life.

351
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Speaker 1: You always got real sad about it.

352
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,400
Speaker 2: Leave him.

353
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,120
Speaker 4: In fact, I haven't even told half of the outrageous

354
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 4: things that happened to our relationship. Oh, we got more

355
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,680
Speaker 4: to answer some question questions. Do I stay with him

356
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,240
Speaker 4: for money?

357
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:02,480
Speaker 3: No?

358
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 4: I make much more than he does, so I practically

359
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,880
Speaker 4: paid for everything, including the furniture in his new apartment,

360
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 4: new phone, even a seven thousand dollars overseas vacation canceled

361
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,280
Speaker 4: last minute because we started a fight.

362
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Speaker 1: At that point.

363
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,880
Speaker 4: Girl Girl, He did offer to pay for meals when

364
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,760
Speaker 4: we went out to eat about once a week. I

365
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,880
Speaker 4: always picked something cheap like pizza or burger, saving money.

366
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,920
Speaker 4: Ooh do I stay with him for Okay?

367
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:26,240
Speaker 2: No?

368
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,800
Speaker 1: In bed, he is very selfish, only taking to his

369
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,080
Speaker 1: own pleasure. Never asked if I was happy.

370
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 4: When I asked for spicy mouth stuff, he said it

371
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 4: was dirty and he has a phobia. But he has

372
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 4: no problem with me performing spicy mouth stuff on him.

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00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,680
Speaker 4: Hate this, man, Yeah, that's why you need to clean it.

374
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Speaker 1: They can't hate this. I can't. I cant talk about

375
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,640
Speaker 1: this your oh man.

376
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 4: Did I stay with him because he's very handsome and attactive?

377
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,320
Speaker 1: No, girl, you are zero for three with him.

378
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 4: He is only he is only considered cute at best,

379
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,280
Speaker 4: short of than me, has a beer belly, and has

380
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,040
Speaker 4: a physical defect that I'd rather not disclose due to privacy.

381
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,400
Speaker 4: Quite the opposite. I was told I could be a

382
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 4: model if I wanted to.

383
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,600
Speaker 2: Girl, Okay, I literally don't understand. She's like, I hate

384
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,880
Speaker 2: this man. He's the worst. He's ugly.

385
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I could be a model.

386
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:15,720
Speaker 2: Why are we with him?

387
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 1: What are we doing here?

388
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 4: I think the real reason I stayed with him in

389
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 4: this horrible situation is because he's my first relationship and

390
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 4: we are colleague slash friends before this, so I keep

391
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,680
Speaker 4: wanting to give him one more chance. He also has

392
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 4: one positive trait going for him, nice or rather passive

393
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 4: slash flat temperament. For example, whenever I yell at him

394
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 4: or become frustrated with him, he doesn't yell back, always

395
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 4: promising to do better. Next time, but you never did.

396
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,480
Speaker 4: So he's not even gonna fight for himself or the relationship.

397
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 2: He doesn't care about any part of this relationship. He

398
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,400
Speaker 2: doesn't care about you. You just want some maid. You

399
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 2: guys are absolutely right. This is weaponized incompetence, and I

400
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:52,920
Speaker 2: was enabling him.

401
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000
Speaker 1: I just broke up with him.

402
00:16:54,080 --> 00:17:00,040
Speaker 2: Finally, finally, Let's goodness. He hadn't laid out all of

403
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 2: those things of like, you know, horrible aspects about him

404
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,160
Speaker 2: and was like, but I'm staying with them. I would

405
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,560
Speaker 2: have been like, you're at the ale.

406
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh absolutely, I will admit I did yell at

407
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,159
Speaker 4: him during the breakup over the phone because I was

408
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 4: so disappointed, sad and angry. I told him I cooked

409
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,760
Speaker 4: clean and brought all those things for him because I

410
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,240
Speaker 4: loved him. To me, love is a verb. I wanted

411
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,920
Speaker 4: him to know that I show my love through my actions,

412
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,119
Speaker 4: but I could not feel his love. However, he accused

413
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:29,640
Speaker 4: me of keeping scores. It's easy to keep scores when

414
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,920
Speaker 4: when you're a zero the point of the zero, you

415
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,919
Speaker 4: have to count your points. If you really love me,

416
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 4: why are you keeping track of things you did for me?

417
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 4: I didn't ask you to do or buy me any

418
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:44,320
Speaker 4: of those things. I'm not a vindictive person, but at

419
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 4: that point I was so angry. I told him I

420
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,639
Speaker 4: want to take back the things I purchased in his

421
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 4: new apartment. Initially he was okay with me coming to

422
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 4: get a few things, but after he realized I wanted

423
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,680
Speaker 4: to get everything. I literally brought everything in that apartment.

424
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 4: He's said, I don't want you to come to my place.

425
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,920
Speaker 4: If a couple breaks up, they should not see each

426
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,640
Speaker 4: other anymore. Okay, then don't be in the apartment when

427
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 4: I come.

428
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't you just close your freaking eyes.

429
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, go with the corner, close your eyes around where

430
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,800
Speaker 4: done's cap, and you have time out.

431
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 1: Everything will be gone.

432
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 4: When I insisted I wanted to get my things, he

433
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,880
Speaker 4: refused to budge. I will talk to my parents. We'll

434
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,560
Speaker 4: drop off your TV together at your place. Do not

435
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 4: come to my place. Oh, conspiracy theory. He's already got

436
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 4: another chick there. He's got someone scrubbing the floors.

437
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,200
Speaker 2: Honest, I can see it.

438
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 4: I don't understand why he suddenly wants his parents involved

439
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 4: at this stage of our relationship, because he also has

440
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,360
Speaker 4: someone else, and he's told him about her, and they said, Hey,

441
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,000
Speaker 4: we've already broke up with my other ex.

442
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. They're enabling him in every corner

443
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:44,879
Speaker 2: of the story.

444
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,879
Speaker 4: He never even bothered to mention me to them or

445
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,919
Speaker 4: them to me before. And he claimed we should not

446
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 4: see each other. But when they return my things to me,

447
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 4: I assume that they will, we will see each other.

448
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 4: So what's the point. Also, he only mentioned the TV

449
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,639
Speaker 4: and nothing else. But you know what, nothing else matters

450
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,440
Speaker 4: in this world. If you don't join us live every

451
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 4: weekday at three PMPSC on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch,

452
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 4: all you gotta do is to have a profile go bit. Yeah,

453
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,200
Speaker 4: he's being enabled every single part of this.

454
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've already given my thoughts and Op has taken them.

455
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 2: She's breaking up with this man. But uh, I don't

456
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: trust him as far as I could throw him, which

457
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,159
Speaker 2: I'm not that strong, so it's probably not that far.

458
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,679
Speaker 2: I think there is the thing chance. Well, yeah, I

459
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 2: was just gonna say, I think there's a huge chance

460
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,199
Speaker 2: that he's already cheating on you.

461
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 1: Maybe, Oh yeah, I.

462
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 2: Mean I wouldn't put a bast him. He doesn't seem

463
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,360
Speaker 2: like the best.

464
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 4: Moral, you know, compass kind of guy. Yeah, my parents

465
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 4: told me to forget about it and move on, but

466
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 4: I'm just so angry at now. I honestly don't care

467
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 4: about money. Likely I will throw everything I purchase for

468
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 4: his apartment to the dumpster. Slish Street Dude girl eBay

469
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,160
Speaker 4: craigslis Ebe. I just don't want him to have them

470
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 4: anymore because they represent my love that he carelessly tossed aside.

471
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 4: What do you suggest I do? I don't feel comfortable

472
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 4: meeting with him and his family called the police to

473
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 4: get my things, or do you think my parents it's

474
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,199
Speaker 4: all right and I should forget about it. Yeah, I

475
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 4: would let them drop it off at your place. Get

476
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 4: everything you can have a friend with you Facebook Marketplace.

477
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also if you can get like an itemized list

478
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 2: of stuff and be like, these are the things that

479
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 2: I want you to bring over.

480
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 1: Yep.

481
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 4: But op, good luck, and this is your first breakup too, She's.

482
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,639
Speaker 2: Going, Yeah, it's tough, so it's okay, get through it.

483
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 1: You'll get through it.

484
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 2: You've seemed like a way better person and hotter and

485
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 2: have more money, so you'll be fine.

486
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,560
Speaker 1: The odds are in your favor, Opie in favor.

487
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 2: Yes, but that's the end of the story. So let's

488
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: get into the next one.

489
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 1: Boom boom boom.

490
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 2: My girlfriend called me by a nickname that she used

491
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 2: for her ex.

492
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: Boyfriend cucumbers supplier.

493
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 2: So, long story short, I've been with my girlfriend for

494
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 2: a while now and she has this cute nickname for me,

495
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,440
Speaker 2: which is kind of cringe, but I see it makes

496
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: her really happy when I let her call me it,

497
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 2: so I've always been okay with it. The problem is

498
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 2: that I've asked her out of curiosity how she even

499
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,159
Speaker 2: came up with this nickname, and she told me that

500
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,880
Speaker 2: she originally made it for her ex after he won

501
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 2: her a prize at a funfair.

502
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 1: Ooh, that sounds like an inside joke for you and

503
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 1: your head.

504
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,240
Speaker 2: That is the thing, because it's like, it's different than like, babe,

505
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 2: because this is an inside joke that doesn't really apply

506
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:08,880
Speaker 2: to this.

507
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: Person anybody else soap. It would be weird.

508
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 2: It would be weird. They'd be like, why are you

509
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 2: calling me soap? And You're like, you don't get it.

510
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 4: So my roommates name Sophia.

511
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Stop Banning Me sixteen

512
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 2: hundred on the Okay Storytime Separate. So this has really

513
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,160
Speaker 2: pissed me off because she's using a name she made

514
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,479
Speaker 2: for her ex after they specifically shared a moment together.

515
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 2: For me, the part that annoys me the most is

516
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 2: that every time she uses that name, her ex will

517
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 2: one hundred percent come up in her mind, as the

518
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 2: nickname is specific to a certain event shared between the

519
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 2: two of them. I've spoken to her and raised my

520
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 2: concerns about this, and in fairness, she is understanding. She

521
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,640
Speaker 2: got annoyed with me at first, but has since stopped

522
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,119
Speaker 2: using the nickname. The part that makes me feel slightly

523
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 2: guilty is that since she stopped using the nickname, she

524
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 2: clearly hasn't had the same smile she once had. But

525
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 2: that's because she was thinking about her ex.

526
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 4: She probably realized he's so funny. This guy looks just

527
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 4: like her ex, and she can't call him his ex's

528
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 4: nickname Dan.

529
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like basically she's calling you her ex's name.

530
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,439
Speaker 2: To be honest, I think she wants to use that

531
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 2: nickname so much so that in her head she can

532
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 2: try to replace me with her ex. But I am

533
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: an overthinker, so maybe I'm completely wrong. Here am I

534
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 2: the ale and there are some relevant comments, but I

535
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 2: don't think you're the ale nah.

536
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 1: And doesn't only overthinking here.

537
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 2: I don't think that either. I think that this is

538
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 2: kind of weird. Penal says, I know you spoke about it,

539
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 2: Otherwise you wouldn't know where the name came from. I

540
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 2: meant to talk about her losing the smile, Like you said,

541
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 2: I can see her being sad about not being able

542
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 2: to call you a certain name anymore, but seeing the history,

543
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 2: she should realize why not, like you don't have a

544
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 2: valid reason for disliking being called that name. I'd ask

545
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 2: her why she insisted on calling you knowing the history

546
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 2: of where the name came from. I usually want to

547
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 2: overthink everything and always assume the worst, but I don't know.

548
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,640
Speaker 2: I think there's more to it here somehow. I hope

549
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: you guys can work it out. Opie says overthinking is

550
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 2: genuinely the worst, and I do feel guilty about this.

551
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 2: In my mind, I thought that maybe she was cheating

552
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 2: or something, But if I'm being fully rational, I think

553
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 2: that's a slim chance. I've been cheated on in the past,

554
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 2: so I'm not arrogant in thinking that could never happen

555
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 2: to me. But she doesn't show any signs and she's

556
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: always spamming me throughout the day of whatever she's doing,

557
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 2: and she's over at mine a lot, so I do

558
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 2: doubt there's something fishy going on, and there is an update. Yeah,

559
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's necessarily like she's.

560
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: Cheating or something, but I think it's fantasizing.

561
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 2: I think that's my thought process here, That's what I'm

562
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 2: gooding at because to me, if I had an ex

563
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 2: that you know, I had a name for, and then

564
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 2: I got with a new person, I would just I

565
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 2: would want to come up with a new name that

566
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 2: was specific to them. I think there's I think there's

567
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 2: fun in finding a nickname. Mm hm. I'm actually not

568
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 2: really a nickname person, Angie girl. I honestly don't call

569
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 2: people their names a lot, especially when I star.

570
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 4: Say my name all the time, Riley, Riley.

571
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,919
Speaker 2: There are some people that I say their names all

572
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 2: the time, but when I first start meeting people, I'm

573
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 2: really hesitant to say their name.

574
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to get it wrong.

575
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 4: Dude, I didn't say Angie's name on the first day

576
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 4: because I did not know how to say it.

577
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 2: It's like, well, I know how to say their name,

578
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 2: but I'm just like, I don't know why I get

579
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 2: in my head about it. It's really weird.

580
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, but they're always like people are always.

581
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: Like Sophia or like Sophia Donners. So so many people

582
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,719
Speaker 2: say that to me, they're always like Sophia Donner.

583
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 1: I've had so many people say that. Oh wow, Now

584
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 1: let's get into the update.

585
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 2: So first of all, I'd like to just say thanks

586
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 2: to everyone who gave me their advice. It was genuinely

587
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 2: helpful and I'm so thankful. Now onto the updates. Oh boy,

588
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: So my girlfriend came over tonight as expected, and she

589
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 2: actually bought me Call of Duty m W three, which

590
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting at all, but massive w.

591
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, do we forget about the issue right now?

592
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: She's like buying, She's trying to buy your silence.

593
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 4: Sometimes whenever I don't do this, you can be bought.

594
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 4: With previous relationships, if I messed up, I would get

595
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 4: them flowers and like, we don't really talk about it anymore.

596
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: After that.

597
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 2: Well, I think that if it's an apology gift, it

598
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 2: should also be accompanied with a conversation about the problem.

599
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 4: Or just like I'm sorry, and then you guys are good.

600
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then everything's well. I ordered some food and

601
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 2: we sat down and just did what normal couples do

602
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 2: for like the first hour, because, to be honest, me

603
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 2: being the idiot I am, forgot I had something serious

604
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 2: to speak to her about.

605
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: He's like shiny Gabo.

606
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 2: There was a point where I could tell she wanted

607
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 2: to use the nickname for me during our conversation, and

608
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 2: then I saw her stop herself and she looked kind

609
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: of upset, And it was at that moment I realized

610
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 2: I was meant to bring up this issue.

611
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 4: Okay, and basically the guy probably like passed in a

612
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 4: car accident.

613
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, I can't. I need to. His memory

614
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,199
Speaker 2: needs to live on.

615
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: Cucumber monster must live on.

616
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 2: Save you guys from all the boring details. I basically

617
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 2: started off by telling her I needed to speak to

618
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 2: her about something, and she just sat and listened to me.

619
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 2: I started off by telling her I do love her

620
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 2: very much, as per the advice given to me here,

621
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 2: and then I want her to tell me exactly how

622
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 2: she feels about this nickname situation, because I can clearly

623
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 2: see it's been bothering her. And the last thing I

624
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 2: want is for her to feel down. She basically told

625
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: me that I shouldn't be surprised that she was bothered

626
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 2: by the situation because I know that pet names are

627
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 2: her love language, and because I told her that she

628
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 2: shouldn't use nicknames with me anymore, I was basically stopping

629
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: her from showing me affection in the way she loves.

630
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: Any nicknames anymore. I did not catch that.

631
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 2: That is not what he said. He said, don't use

632
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 2: the nickname that you used for your ex.

633
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: Oh, I see, I see.

634
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 2: Well, No, I agree, like I think that she's kind

635
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 2: of maybe overblowing it. Got it. She said she didn't

636
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 2: mind not using the nickname that I had an issue with,

637
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 2: but she felt I didn't have to stop her from

638
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 2: using any type of nickname with me. I was completely

639
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 2: lost at this point, because I never told her that

640
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 2: she couldn't use nicknames. I just said, don't use that

641
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 2: specific one she made for her ex. And then we

642
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 2: both realized this was one big misunderstanding. Aw she was

643
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 2: under the assumption that I had told her to stop

644
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: the whole nickname thing entirely, which wasn't the case. Honestly,

645
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: the way her face lit up when she realized that

646
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 2: she could still use pet names with me. It made

647
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 2: me so bloody happy. All okay, would you we're back.

648
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: We're so back right now.

649
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,120
Speaker 2: After we cleared up the mast, I decided to ask

650
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 2: her why she kept using the nickname with me despite

651
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: her making it for her ex. She told me that

652
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 2: she never really saw it like that when she was

653
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 2: using the nickname. She said that the nickname was just

654
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 2: something she found really cute and it captured a moment

655
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 2: where her man made her feel incredibly happy. She also

656
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 2: said that because she wasn't with her X for that

657
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 2: long about three months they dated, she didn't feel that

658
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 2: it really belonged to him because that nickname was only

659
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 2: made about a month before they broke up. She also

660
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 2: told me that she uses this nickname with me far

661
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,439
Speaker 2: more often than she did with the X because I

662
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 2: always make her laugh and smile, which is what this

663
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 2: nickname embodies for her. She then reassured me that she

664
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 2: absolutely wholeheartedly loves me, and when I told her about

665
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 2: me overthinking this as her trying to replace me with

666
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,880
Speaker 2: the X, she let out a small giggle, saying how

667
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 2: incredibly silly I was for thinking that. Now that I

668
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 2: look back on it. I was an idiot for thinking that.

669
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 2: I don't think you were an idiot.

670
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of a pair assumption. Yeah, we

671
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 1: read read its stories.

672
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 2: She told me that not once did her ex pop

673
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: up in her mind when using the nickname. She just

674
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 2: genuinely felt it belonged to me, and that I am

675
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 2: the only person worthy to be called that in her eyes. Anyways,

676
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 2: we both let out a massive sigh of relief, and

677
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 2: I finished this conversation by telling her that after hearing

678
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 2: all this, I wasn't just okay with it if she

679
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 2: still wanted to use a nickname, but it would be honored.

680
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: And she told me that she wants to give me

681
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: a new nickname, one that's fresh, just for me, because

682
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,239
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, I make her one

683
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 2: hundred times happier on my worst day than her ex

684
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 2: could make her on his best day. That's really cute.

685
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: And so the nickname she was using wasn't strong enough

686
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 2: to show just how happy I made her. Want to

687
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 2: come back.

688
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: Wow, what a come back. I feel good. I feel great.

689
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: Moral of the story.

690
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 2: Speak to your partner asap if you ever have an issue,

691
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 2: because one simple conversation could solve it all. Also, one

692
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 2: thing I've learned from this is that my girlfriend really

693
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 2: takes this nickname thing seriously. Like I always thought it

694
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: was just a cute thing for her, but she really

695
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 2: does put a lot of emotion behind.

696
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: The name aw and you can it.

697
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: Would make me emotional if you guys joined us live

698
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 2: every weekday at three PMPSD on Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch.

699
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 4: My nicknames for Angie turtle she eats really slows a turtle,

700
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 4: and they call her that growing up. She's like, don't

701
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 4: call me turtle. I'm like, you can't tell a Southern

702
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 4: boy not to call you by a critter name.

703
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: You know, you're just turtle, turtle, angy girl. And then

704
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: like like babe, like all that stuff.

705
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 5: Babe yet Yeah, Yeah, the up, Sophia, We're on the up,

706
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 5: and you're gonna see this on Facebook like a few

707
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 5: months like ooh.

708
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 2: But there's a little bit more. Ps What gift do

709
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 2: I get her now? Because I wasn't expecting her to

710
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 2: get me MW three and I have to get her

711
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: something because there's no way I'm letting myself take her

712
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 2: gift and not surprise her with something in return.

713
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 4: Get her a candle warmer with a candle a nice

714
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 4: candles depending on lighters, electric gliders. And then you also

715
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 4: get her a makeup brush cleaner, because that's really good.

716
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 4: If she's like really into makeup, get her some like

717
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 4: like nice little like facial cleansers or like nice little

718
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 4: fun things like do a little spa day if you

719
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 4: really want to throw it out of the park and

720
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 4: experience they that stuff like mud and then you like

721
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 4: you just you get all of it, you get nerdy. Yeah,

722
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 4: the candle warmer is the top one.

723
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 2: I like books.

724
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 1: He gets Sophia X books.

725
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 4: I specifically about dystopian books about the world's ending and

726
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 4: that a human needs to communicate with an alien life

727
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 4: form in order to save both of their worlds. Yeah,

728
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 4: that's her favorite kind of books.

729
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 2: How I to his books or chock hah. But that

730
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:25,959
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

731
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 1: Hey, Sam, we're gonna get back to the stories. But

732
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

733
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 3: My husband got drunk and insisted he's gay. My husband

734
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 3: and I have been married for four years. I'm twenty

735
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: six and he's thirty. In the six years we've been together,

736
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 3: I've never had the suspicion that he was gay, assuming

737
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 3: he actually is. By the way this comes from She's

738
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 3: just like, if.

739
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: He actually is, we don't know if he was telling

740
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 2: the truth, it could have been a joke.

741
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user Christy eighty three

742
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 3: on the r slash Okay story time subredit. So the

743
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,479
Speaker 3: only signs I can really think of is that it

744
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 3: took him a while to initiate zispas asleep.

745
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: I always thought he was just shy, like he said.

746
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 3: I still have to initiate zispas often because he'll only

747
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 3: do it like once a week, and sometimes he won't

748
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 3: even get to the end credits there. Spicy sleep is

749
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 3: over once I've I've reached my end credits, and we

750
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,719
Speaker 3: barely have any of the fun time before. He always

751
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 3: said he was under pressure and work takes a toll

752
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 3: on him.

753
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 1: I never questioned it.

754
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 3: I mean, he's a paramedic and I know it's a

755
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 3: stressful job. Two days ago, him and I were invited

756
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 3: to a friend's get together. While there, he drinks a

757
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 3: lot with the guys and is completely hammered by the

758
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 3: time we need to leave. He doesn't drink much normally either.

759
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 3: One of his friends had to even come with me

760
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 3: so he can help my husband walk from the car

761
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 3: to the apartment, walk someone to their car, walk someone

762
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 3: into their apartment. Oh and that sucked, and that was

763
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 3: the last time I did that.

764
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: They barfed in my car. That was a quick fun

765
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 1: okay story time.

766
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 3: When we get inside, he asks me for more whiskey,

767
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: so I gave it to him since he didn't have work.

768
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 3: The next day, he drinks quite a bit of it.

769
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 3: I'm tired, so I decide to hit off to bed.

770
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 3: I go to give him a kiss like usual, and

771
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 3: as soon as I start bringing my face closer to his,

772
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 3: he leaned back so far he almost fell off the chair.

773
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 3: Well that might also have to do with something like,

774
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 3: you know, giving him a bottle of whiskey. He had

775
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 3: this really confused, disgusted look on his face, and I

776
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 3: laughed at first, but then when I went to kiss

777
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 3: him on his cheek, he pushed my face away. Then

778
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 3: he looked at me really shocked and said, no, I'm gay.

779
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 3: I think your husband's gay.

780
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 2: I think I think he I think he told you

781
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 2: that he's gay. I think your husband I think that

782
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 2: we can assume that maybe he's gay.

783
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: So for all those who don't know. This is how

784
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: getting drunk works.

785
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 3: Getting drunk doesn't make you stupid, It doesn't make you

786
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 3: like a fool. What it does is it removes your inhibitions,

787
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 3: so you no longer feel insecure or you no longer

788
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 3: have a problem saying that you're gay, when as when

789
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 3: you weren't hammered, you would never say that.

790
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: However, now that you are, you're.

791
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 3: Just like, I don't even care, don't kiss me, wife,

792
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 3: I'm gay.

793
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 2: I want to know, Like, I wonder where they are living,

794
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 2: you know, like, what's he got whiskey?

795
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: So I bet they're in the States.

796
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 3: Not that you can't have whiskey anywhere else, but I

797
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,719
Speaker 3: feel like that's a very American n I don't know beverage.

798
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 2: Uh tapped into the alcohol.

799
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true for those tapped into the alcohol community, y'all. No, okay,

800
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 3: let's go. So I backed off and went to bed.

801
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 3: I couldn't sleep all night after six years together.

802
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: Why would he say that now?

803
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 3: But now that I think about it, I wouldn't be

804
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 3: surprised if he was. The Next day, we were having

805
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 3: breakfast and he was extremely hungover. I start telling him

806
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 3: how wasted he was last night, and he just laughs.

807
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 3: Then I told him about what he did Slash said,

808
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 3: and he looked straight up at me, really worried. I

809
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 3: must have looked really upset, because right after he said,

810
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 3: everyone says stupid things when they get wasted. Forget about it.

811
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 3: He then walked off, saying he needs a shower. He's

812
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 3: been a little distant ever since. Dang, he outed himself.

813
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know my I mean, buddy Cakes is

814
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,240
Speaker 2: maybe thousands by, which is always that was my thought.

815
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 2: But it's not what he said, so we can only

816
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 2: really go off his words.

817
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, or maybe he just.

818
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,919
Speaker 3: Maybe for this guy, once he gets a certain amount

819
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 3: of drunk, he stops being by. He just starts being

820
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 3: only guilt.

821
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,280
Speaker 2: I don't need women in my life.

822
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: Yo, up, gay, now get away from me.

823
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 2: Why it just switches up?

824
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: I'm gay?

825
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: Probably?

826
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, Probably I'm putting an impression. Maybe I'm reading into

827
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 3: this a little too much. I don't know. It's bothering

828
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 3: me a lot, and for some reason, I feel very hurt.

829
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 3: I'd appreciate some help. We have an update. What happens,

830
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 3: what's going on? What's gonna happen here?

831
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:57,439
Speaker 1: Sophie?

832
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: I think he's gonna She's gonna come to him and

833
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: be like, hey, I want you to feel comfortable talking

834
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 2: to me. Is this you know, is this how you're feeling?

835
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: And he's gonna be like no, no, like it was

836
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 2: just I just was you know, I had a lot

837
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 2: to drink. It's a whiskey, and she's.

838
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 3: Like no, Like I want you to tell me, babe,

839
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 3: I just get gay when I drink a lot.

840
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 1: I just get you know, I get gay when.

841
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 2: I drink whiskey, babe, And when I drink tequila, I'm

842
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: by yeah, you know that.

843
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 1: You know the whiskey gets me gay.

844
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 2: If you did it, now you do now you're aware.

845
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 2: I think I think perhaps there is a potential that,

846
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 2: like someone said, Birbie says, maybe it was a religious thing.

847
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: There's a potential that he grew up like very religious.

848
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,319
Speaker 2: Well there's potentials here.

849
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,720
Speaker 3: I hope that the end of this is is uh

850
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 3: Opie's boyfriend and you know, having a sort of you know,

851
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 3: I don't know if you could call it beautiful with

852
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 3: the you know, the binge drinking going on here, but yeah,

853
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 3: sort of a yeah, stepping into his own power and

854
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 3: realizing I am gay and that means I probably shouldn't

855
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 3: have a wife.

856
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 2: Or maybe yeah, he figures out he's buying just when

857
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 2: he's so.

858
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 1: You're in camp by, I'm in camp gay.

859
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, I've got two different camps over here,

860
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 3: all right. Ever since I confronted him about what he

861
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 3: said wile wasted, he had been ignoring me and giving

862
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 3: me one word answers all day, and today he's been

863
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 3: looking extremely tired, worn out, sad, and stressed. I didn't

864
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 3: want to push him to talk to me about it

865
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 3: because I thought it would make him explode. But it's

866
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,240
Speaker 3: been eating at me ever since, and I couldn't control

867
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,800
Speaker 3: myself and I burst out crying while he was getting

868
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 3: ready for bet. I told him I needed answers because

869
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 3: I didn't want our relationship to be like this. He

870
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 3: was really hesitant to talk to me and tried leaving

871
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 3: it at you don't need to cry, it's okay. But

872
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 3: then I asked him if he was attracted to me,

873
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,959
Speaker 3: and he gave me a look of pity without giving

874
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 3: an answer. Then I asked him about women in general,

875
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 3: and he gave me the same look. Turns out, you

876
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 3: guys were right, he's gay. Oh Man said he was

877
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 3: meaning to tell me sometime soon.

878
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: Did he just like not figure it out?

879
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 3: I guess he had been well said from the very

880
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 3: beginning that there was hesitation. I'm sure that this I

881
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 3: bet you that this is like a situation where it

882
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 3: was like, you know, pressured to be of traditional values,

883
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 3: depending on what part of the country they're in, probably

884
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 3: some religious values, YadA, YadA, YadA, could be family pressure.

885
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 2: And then he was trying to, you know, push the

886
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 2: down that part of himself. And then over the course

887
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 2: of his time in the marriage, realized that.

888
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,760
Speaker 3: And one bottle of whiskey later on top of whatever

889
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 3: else he was drinking that night, Yeah you've Yeah, there

890
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 3: you go.

891
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: Well good.

892
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,919
Speaker 3: You know, it sucks that it took you six years

893
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 3: of marriage, but it's hard.

894
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: It's always hard to live a lie. Yeah, it's not.

895
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 2: Like you can't obviously can't really like if you didn't

896
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 2: know before, if you were repressing, that can't help that.

897
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 3: Yep, as long as you weren't. Yeah, once you see

898
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 3: the truth, yeah, you know what you must do. You

899
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 3: must break out with you're with and there we have it,

900
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 3: he said. He drove himself crazy thinking about it and

901
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 3: finding the right way to tell me that it came

902
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 3: out while wasted instead.

903
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can imagine he was thinking about that for

904
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: like how to tell her for a while.

905
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 3: You're gonna love this one, he said. When we first

906
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 3: started dating, he thought he was by so he went

907
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 3: on with it.

908
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 2: Which is, Yeah, I mean, like sometimes it's a especially

909
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 2: like it's compulsive heterosexuality. You think, well, obviously compulsive, you know,

910
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,720
Speaker 2: not heterosexuality, but there is that kind of thing of like, okay,

911
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 2: well I'm trying to fit into the norm, so I

912
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 2: guess I can also you know, maybe I like women too. Yeah,

913
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 2: and then it's like, okay, well now when you figure

914
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 2: it out, Yeah, yeah, no, I feel that's a Barbie says,

915
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 2: I feel sorry for him. Must have been a hard struggle. Yeah, yeah,

916
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: figure yourself out, especially when you're not in like necessarily

917
00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 2: the most supportive area or like supportive family and stuff.

918
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 2: That's really hard.

919
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 3: He slowly came to realize he was gay, but dug

920
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 3: himself into a much deeper hole by then. He said

921
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 3: he was diagnosed with major depression and was prescribed antidepressants,

922
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 3: but he couldn't take them because the side effects interfered

923
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 3: with work. He also assured me that he's never cheated

924
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 3: on me, flirted with other guys, or been to any

925
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,760
Speaker 3: gay bars or clubs, and said he had no intention.

926
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 2: To good good because just because you realize that you are,

927
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: you know, not attracted to your partner, you can't just

928
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 2: cheat on that.

929
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't give you a green light for infidelity.

930
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 3: I believe him because I know he's not that kind

931
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 3: of person, but also because his daily routines are the same,

932
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 3: work Jim in the apartment and then straight home. He

933
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 3: barely uses his phone for any other purpose but calls,

934
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 3: and it doesn't have a passcode on it either, and

935
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,760
Speaker 3: he leaves it laying around everywhere. For some odd reason,

936
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 3: I don't feel as angry and upset as I thought

937
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 3: I would now that I know what's been going on.

938
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 3: But I feel like I'm handling this too well and

939
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 3: might break down sooner or later. He said the only

940
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,399
Speaker 3: way he can be fair to me at this point

941
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 3: is if we get a divorce, so we agreed on that.

942
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 3: He said he'd tell his friends, his family, and my

943
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 3: family exactly what happens, so nothing is left in the dark.

944
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: That's nice, mm hmm. And by the way, we don't

945
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: want to leave you in the dark.

946
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 3: So you should just join us every weekday three pm

947
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 3: PSD on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. All I gotta

948
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 3: do is tap on our profile and any one of

949
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 3: those respective platforms and you will be.

950
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 1: In the life and in the light and in the light.

951
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 2: It seems like this story is hopeful in that it

952
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: seems like they're both kind of the truth is out

953
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 2: in the open and they're proceeding in an amicable way.

954
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 2: But as Percy Greeba says, it's hard for both of them. Absolutely,

955
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,840
Speaker 2: I mean to Opie's point of like, it feels like

956
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 2: I'm taking it too well. Yes, there's definitely at some point,

957
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:58,280
Speaker 2: almost almost definitely going to be this kind of swing

958
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 2: around ationally because you know, emotions don't always work the

959
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 2: way that we expect them to, or you know, we

960
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:09,319
Speaker 2: don't process them in the way in a straightforward way. Yeah,

961
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 2: And there's also probably gonna be this kind of feeling

962
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 2: of guilt for being upset about it, because it's like, oh, well,

963
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,399
Speaker 2: I want him to live his truth and I want

964
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 2: him to live authentically. But also knowing like you know,

965
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,720
Speaker 2: this is a hard thing for you. You were losing someone

966
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 2: who you thought loved you and someone you were in

967
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: love with.

968
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

969
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 2: So, yeah, it's going to take a minute.

970
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 1: It's it's gonna hit at some point. Yeah.

971
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

972
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 2: It is hard when you can't when you feel like

973
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: you can't be mad at someone, but.

974
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 1: You guys will be better off in the long run regardless.

975
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's finish this story though. I guess it

976
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 3: all makes sense now. When I first met him, he

977
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 3: was a really happy, slash spirited person, and when I

978
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 3: look at him now, it's completely gone.

979
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: Thanks for the advice.

980
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 3: It really helped prepare me for what went down today

981
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 3: and I appreciate it now. Any tips on moving on

982
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 3: would also be of help. And that is the end

983
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:03,959
Speaker 3: of that story.

984
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: My husband is in a codependent relationship with his ex wife.

985
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 2: My husband thirty six male, and I thirty four female,

986
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 2: had been married for eight years together for fourteen and

987
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 2: we have a four year old daughter that is our

988
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 2: whole life. By the way, this comes from Jazz like

989
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 2: Sugar seven two oh nine on the OK Storytime suburt it.

990
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 2: So he's been married before with Eliza, his best friend.

991
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 2: They married at eighteen and lasted two years and divorced.

992
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 2: They remained best friends and when we started dating Eliza,

993
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 2: my husband's other best friend, Jack, and my husband were

994
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 2: a tight knit Eliza was one of the bros, and

995
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 2: I always was the girlfriend and later the wife, always

996
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 2: an outsider. His two friends are single, so our house

997
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 2: was always a place to crash, even since we moved together.

998
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 2: They would show up unannounced and do their own thing

999
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,359
Speaker 2: while I made snacks and full meals. For the first year,

1000
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: I tried my best to integrate into their clique, but

1001
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,240
Speaker 2: never worked out. It was always awkward and I felt

1002
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 2: I was inserting myself where I didn't belong. So I

1003
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 2: stopped trying and relegated myself to being a great host

1004
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 2: and letting them do their thing. I hate that I

1005
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 2: didn't notice at first, but over the years resentment had built.

1006
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 2: I felt like a fifties housewife serving drinks and lighting cigarettes.

1007
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 2: To me, exactly what I'm thinking, That's what it sounds like.

1008
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 2: My husband on his own is amazing and love him.

1009
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,919
Speaker 2: He has been a great partner and my best friend

1010
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,280
Speaker 2: during this fourteen years. Problem is I'm not his best

1011
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 2: friend Eliza's. Every single thing that happens in our life

1012
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 2: has to be discussed and analyzed with Eliza. Early in

1013
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 2: our relationship, I got pregnant.

1014
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 1: I took the.

1015
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 2: Test early in the night, and we were really scared.

1016
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 2: Despite this, he was so reassuring with me, holding me

1017
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 2: the whole night and told me he was ready to

1018
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 2: do whatever I wanted to do. I said I needed

1019
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 2: to think about it. Next day we went to our

1020
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: classes and agreed to lunch together. When we met, he

1021
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 2: asked me how I was and all then told me

1022
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 2: that he had the contact of a doctor who did terminations.

1023
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 2: It was illegal back then. I asked how he found

1024
00:43:58,120 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 2: one so fast when he wasn't sure what to do.

1025
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 2: Answer he called Eliza early in the morning and she

1026
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 2: had a friend. I felt so betrayed because this was

1027
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 2: something that belonged to me and he went and shared

1028
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 2: it with someone else. Not just someone else, it's Eliza,

1029
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:14,399
Speaker 2: Come on, he said. During the next days, every time

1030
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 2: I saw him, he has new information from Eliza and

1031
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 2: Eliza's friend. I was so scared and confused, and Eliza

1032
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 2: convinced my boyfriend we needed to do it fast because

1033
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: it would be easier. It was so much pressure. I agreed.

1034
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 2: Long story short, It was a rat hole doctor office

1035
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,840
Speaker 2: and I almost passed away there. To this day, I

1036
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 2: don't know if I should have kept the baby or not,

1037
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: but better not to think about it. When my boyfriend proposed,

1038
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: Eliza was fake mad that he didn't tell her first

1039
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 2: that he was going to propose to me. The only

1040
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 2: way to placate her was to have her as his

1041
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 2: best man. Despite my husband having a male best friend,

1042
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 2: every little or major event in our life turn into yeah,

1043
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell now, Eliza, you know as she gets

1044
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 2: I was assaulted as a child and told us to

1045
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 2: my husband. He was the first person I talked to

1046
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 2: about it. Months later, Eliza and I were alone in

1047
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 2: our kitchen and she started to talk about something she

1048
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: heard in the news about a girl been attacked by

1049
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 2: a family member, and then hugged me. That is awful

1050
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,359
Speaker 2: to tell someone else, regardless of whether or not it's

1051
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 2: your best friend, about a incredibly personal and traumatic story

1052
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 2: that is not yours to tell.

1053
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 1: That is disgusting.

1054
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 2: When I started to try for a child, I got pregnant.

1055
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 2: I asked my husband to keep this for us for

1056
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 2: a little. It was Wednesday Sunday when I saw Eliza.

1057
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 2: She congratulated me. I ended up miscaring. I started to

1058
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 2: look for a doctor to help me deal with my

1059
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 2: depression again, something I wanted to keep to myself. Eliza

1060
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,280
Speaker 2: was so understanding. When I was pregnant with my daughter,

1061
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 2: Eliza came full of advice on things I should do.

1062
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 2: I told her to mind her own business, which really

1063
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 2: hurt her feelings. Honestly, Eliza, obviously you know needs to

1064
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 2: step back. But this is at this point you need

1065
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 2: to have a huge conversation with your husband because that

1066
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 2: is his fault or your partner. At the time. I

1067
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 2: think that is full his fault. He should not be

1068
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 2: telling anything to Eliza, and the fact that he has

1069
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 2: done it not once, but like five times at this

1070
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: point is ridiculous about things that have deeply affected you. Disgusting.

1071
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 2: I stood on my ground and told my husband I

1072
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 2: wasn't going to raise my kid with Eliza, and I

1073
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 2: didn't want to hear any advice from her. This was

1074
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 2: a big fight with my husband because I was rude

1075
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 2: and Eliza's family and already considered herself an auntie. This

1076
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 2: had been the only time I had given an ultimatum

1077
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 2: to my husband, Eliza better keep herself away from my

1078
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 2: motherhood or I will leave. Now resentment has reached a

1079
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 2: point when I don't want her near me, or my

1080
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 2: house or my husband. I feel like she's more married

1081
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: to my husband than I. My whole life feels like

1082
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 2: I'm living a best friends to love her drama. I'm

1083
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 2: not sure why I'm writing this, probably because I'm alone

1084
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,760
Speaker 2: in a coffee shop and thinking I want my husband

1085
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 2: to be my husband and not feel like a lame

1086
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 2: love interest in someone else's epic love story.

1087
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: It sounds like you know exactly why you're writing it over.

1088
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you need to leave. I think that's there is more.

1089
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 2: Let's see if theres an update. Though in the past

1090
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 2: my husband thought I was being childish despite loving him.

1091
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 2: I can't keep being married like this. I don't feel

1092
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 2: I can trust to talk to him again without involving Eliza.

1093
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 2: I don't want to hold any ultimatums. And there is

1094
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 2: an update, But as Duchess Casana says, I think divorce

1095
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 2: might be on the way because you've had multiple conversations

1096
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 2: with your partner and your husband about you not wanting

1097
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 2: Eliza to be involved in your conversations and your secrets

1098
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 2: and these hard moments in your marriage, and she is involved,

1099
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 2: and she keeps giving her unwonted advice, and even though

1100
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 2: you're uncomfortable with that, your husband keeps doing it. Ye,

1101
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 2: and that's ridiculous. And also he could have had a

1102
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 2: you know, you probably would have been totally fine with

1103
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: their friendship had he not kept involving her in like

1104
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 2: crossing your roundways. It's not even like, oh, yeah, I

1105
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 2: have a female friend. It's that you have a friend

1106
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 2: who's constantly involving themselves inserting themselves a friend. It's your

1107
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 2: ex wife, that's all that's I yeah, yeah, so that

1108
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 2: this is his ex wife. So it's like even be

1109
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:09,400
Speaker 2: one step beyond that.

1110
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 3: It's like, yes, that's it's absolutely absurd to have to

1111
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 3: deal with any of this from someone who's supposed to

1112
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 3: be your partner. Meanwhile, they're allowing someone who's their ex

1113
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:23,360
Speaker 3: partner to actually trample all over your boundaries.

1114
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. After writing my post and reading how most people

1115
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 2: felt about it, my head was full of doubts and sadness.

1116
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,320
Speaker 2: Your opinion isn't a surprise, since most of my friends

1117
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 2: and family had voiced the same At one point. I

1118
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 2: guess I'm too slow and need to be punched harder

1119
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 2: to understand.

1120
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:39,879
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? What do you mean?

1121
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Push.

1122
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 1: What opinion are people saying that you're wrong?

1123
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 3: Or is she saying that I'm sure everyone's being like, no,

1124
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 3: your husband sucks, and she's like, yeah, I guess everyone's

1125
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 3: told me that already, and they haven't told me hard enough.

1126
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 2: A few days after my post, I took a pregnancy

1127
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 2: test and it was positive. Having a large family is

1128
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 2: what I sash, we always wanted, and ever since my termination,

1129
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 2: I was left with a feeling of having empty arms.

1130
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 2: So holding my daughter in my arms was like feeling

1131
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 2: whole again. And I know I need to grow my

1132
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 2: arms even more to hold my new baby too. But

1133
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 2: after the initial happiness, an ugly feeling started to grow

1134
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 2: in my stomach. I didn't want Eliza in our life.

1135
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 2: It felt like taking my innocence glasses out and I

1136
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 2: was able to see her, like really see her. How

1137
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:28,240
Speaker 2: every smile was so dank, fake. Every compliment was always

1138
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 2: mean spirited or kind of a self compliment. Nice potato salad,

1139
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 2: it was great. Oh remember to my husband that potato

1140
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 2: salad I made. It was kind of a un unbelievable

1141
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah, or nice outfit. I love how

1142
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 2: confident you are I can't leave the house without making

1143
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 2: sure my outfit is flawless. A reaction to my first pregnancy, wedding, travels,

1144
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,720
Speaker 2: my second pregnancy, buying a house. How everything that should

1145
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:55,279
Speaker 2: be between my husband and I always included her, like

1146
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 2: if our life was a play, she should write and direct.

1147
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 2: On our first Christmas together, she came when we were decorating,

1148
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 2: and with all of his positive critics, I ended up

1149
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 2: sitting in a corner drinking wine while she and my

1150
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 2: husband decorated.

1151
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,439
Speaker 1: What this is an? Absolutely?

1152
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 2: Is she so involved on fly?

1153
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 5: Uh?

1154
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 3: It rents a car, by a train, take some other

1155
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 3: mode automobile, Get one of those uh uh those those

1156
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 3: boats that like are on hydrofoil.

1157
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 1: Get a hydrofoil. Uh. Any mode of.

1158
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:34,240
Speaker 2: Transportation, anything that takes takes you out of that really.

1159
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 1: One of those jet pack hover packs that they have now,

1160
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 1: which I want.

1161
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 2: She is always here, and by here I mean in

1162
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 2: my life. She has to say and everything in my life,

1163
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 2: to the point that when my husband's voice is his opinion,

1164
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,879
Speaker 2: I can say when these are his words and when

1165
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,879
Speaker 2: they are Eliza's. I'm not saying that. Since I wrote

1166
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,439
Speaker 2: the last post, everybody turned into ultimately evils. But thinking

1167
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 2: and rethinking about my life with my husband. I had

1168
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 2: always been a passive character. It's like my husband got

1169
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 2: himself a p and he and Eliza are going to

1170
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 2: be endgame when they both realized they never stopped loving

1171
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,839
Speaker 2: each other. Some of you, as my sister will say,

1172
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 2: I'm a doormat. I guess I am. I have let

1173
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 2: this go for so long that it became normal. My

1174
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 2: life isn't bad. My husband hasn't been a bad husband,

1175
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 2: and Eliza isn't so bad. If the bar is she

1176
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 2: hasn't tried to unlive me yet. I know it's clear

1177
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,920
Speaker 2: to you all, but to me it's been my life

1178
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 2: for years, my day to day. I learned to look

1179
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 2: away and make myself small so I don't make others uncomfortable.

1180
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 1: You don't have to do that. You shouldn't do that.

1181
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: I didn't have to do that.

1182
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 1: Never never does smother you shine for somebody else.

1183
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 2: Maybe because I'm pregnant and hormonal, but I'm tired of this.

1184
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 2: I love my husband, but I feel he can't fully

1185
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 2: love me with Eliza whispering in his ear and him

1186
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 2: running like a gold retriever to please her. So after

1187
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 2: all that thinking and rethinking. I sat my husband down

1188
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 2: and told him we needed to set some strong boundaries

1189
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 2: because our marriage wasn't working and I didn't feel loved

1190
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 2: or respected like a wife or even a person. I

1191
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 2: explain more or less what I said here. My husband

1192
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 2: denied everything. You can't deny what op he's feeling you?

1193
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 3: Literally, your ex wife is is following you around like

1194
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 3: a pet.

1195
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 2: Try to explain himself, saying Eliza was like a sister

1196
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 2: to it.

1197
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:15,320
Speaker 1: She's your ex wife.

1198
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 2: Can't tell me that's crazy, she's fole your ex wife?

1199
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 1: Did you did you marry your sister?

1200
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 2: Stupid? That's crazy? Come on. It was back and forth

1201
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 2: with him making me doubt if maybe I was in

1202
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 2: fact trying to control who was or wasn't in his life,

1203
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 2: wanting to monitor his friends, his friends, and even joke

1204
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 2: if we need to slip away and have a drink

1205
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,240
Speaker 2: with his butts for a moment. He made me feel

1206
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 2: that I was in fact crazy. No, but I was firm.

1207
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 2: I stood my ground.

1208
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 3: I was firm into my ground. Ground like that actually

1209
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 3: my ground. I was firm in that ground.

1210
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 2: If he wanted to keep this marriage, Eliza needs to

1211
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 2: be gone from our life. At first, I thought low

1212
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 2: contact was good, but seeing his reaction, I knew that

1213
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,840
Speaker 2: wasn't going to be enough. Maybe I wouldn't be seeing Eliza,

1214
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 2: but he certainly will or and I would be antagonized

1215
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 2: and mocked. Honestly, knowing this made me realize my marriage

1216
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 2: was over. So I asked important questions and pressed what

1217
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 2: is real? Feelings were why they divorced? If they were

1218
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 2: so hung up on each other, why wouldn't he leave

1219
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 2: me sooner? Did he love Eliza more than me? What

1220
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,719
Speaker 2: is it that I don't have and she does that

1221
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,799
Speaker 2: makes her impossible to leave? In a summary, he loves her,

1222
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 2: but he loves me. He doesn't understand how both of

1223
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 2: us brings something he doesn't want to miss. Oh, so

1224
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,880
Speaker 2: he fully admitted that he is in love with Eliza.

1225
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:33,719
Speaker 1: I would have never guessed that I've only been hanging

1226
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 1: out your ex wife.

1227
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:35,839
Speaker 2: Fourteen freaking years.

1228
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:36,919
Speaker 1: Dude, that's cool.

1229
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 2: What he is not sure if he wants a life

1230
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,800
Speaker 2: with Eliza like the one We have a marriage, a family,

1231
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 2: but she is his soulmate. They divorced because between then

1232
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 2: it was so much fire. They were burning each other.

1233
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 2: With me, he has calm peace and loving place to

1234
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 2: come back to.

1235
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 3: I hate this guy so much, so much. It's like,

1236
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 3: you're just entirely selfish.

1237
00:53:58,280 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 2: So selfish. He's like, oh well you were.

1238
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 3: Like yeah, you were like just like a nice, quiet,

1239
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 3: pliable little pit stop I could make while never ceasing

1240
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 3: my interactions with my ex wife, who's my real soulmate.

1241
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:16,759
Speaker 2: He never cheated, but insists he sometimes fantasizes her being

1242
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 2: me and me.

1243
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 3: He fantasizes about the switch roles being swapped, so he

1244
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 3: like he wants his wife to be his best friend.

1245
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 3: He wants his best friend who's his ex wife, to

1246
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:27,879
Speaker 3: be his wife again.

1247
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 2: They often talk about them having this life, but agreed

1248
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 2: that being together would break their bond.

1249
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 1: All left up. My god.

1250
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 2: I know it's kind of obvious to you all in

1251
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 2: my first post, and it should have been obvious to me.

1252
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 2: But hearing my husband say he loves another woman that

1253
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 2: is his soulmate and he put her in the center

1254
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 2: of his life, made her an aunty to our daughter

1255
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 2: and some kind of sister in law to me, a

1256
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 2: supposed family friend. I'm not gonna lie. It broke me.

1257
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 2: Oh no, I threw myself on the floor and hugged

1258
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 2: his legs and asked him what I needed to do

1259
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 2: for him to love me, only love me. I feel so,

1260
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,799
Speaker 2: but I believed everything was worth saving because I valued

1261
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 2: this marriage. I cried and cried and cried, and the

1262
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 2: hardest part was to hear there was nothing I could do.

1263
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:11,640
Speaker 2: But there is one thing that you guys can do.

1264
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 2: Join us live every weekdad three pmpst on YouTube, Facebook

1265
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 2: and TikTok.

1266
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 1: Is nothing hard about that.

1267
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 3: It only takes one or maybe two depending on if

1268
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 3: you're what device you're on. It only takes at the

1269
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 3: most a couple of tasks live at three PMPSD.

1270
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 2: This is so hard.

1271
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, honestly, I know that that's hard and that hurts.

1272
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 3: And the heart is a funny thing. This feels like

1273
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 3: one of those I don't know if anyone else has

1274
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:38,240
Speaker 3: been like so like ah, where it's like the tummy hurts. Yes,

1275
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 3: this feels like a tummy tummy hurting, kind of like vomit.

1276
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 1: I don't know all of Op's background.

1277
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 3: But I did see some people saying that there was

1278
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 3: some trauma response type behavior going on, and it's like

1279
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 3: that could the response to him being like, you know,

1280
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 3: because I would you would think that the response would

1281
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 3: be like, you're terrible, and I'm leaving and you have

1282
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 3: fun with your stupid ex sister wife or whatever you

1283
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,319
Speaker 3: want to call her. I don't know what she is,

1284
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 3: but yeah, I think, Op, you're worth so much more

1285
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 3: than this guy, so much more, And I think with

1286
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,400
Speaker 3: some counseling, you'll be able to see that value that

1287
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 3: you have intrinsically within yourself. This guy let his fickleness

1288
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 3: like blow up your life and.

1289
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 1: He's the one at fault. You didn't do anything wrong.

1290
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: He led you on for.

1291
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 2: Fourteen years, disgusting. Were they together?

1292
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 1: Were they together for fourteen years or was it the

1293
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 1: I think?

1294
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 3: Or were they I'm not sure if it was the

1295
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:40,440
Speaker 3: relationship you had with his ex wife had been maintained

1296
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 3: for fourteen years. But either way, you don't marry somebody

1297
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 3: and then make your ex wife your your confident and

1298
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 3: your best friend and your auntie and your sister and

1299
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 3: your secret Like I wish that y'all would switch places

1300
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 3: like port Cloud for this guy, straight into the ort

1301
00:56:58,160 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 3: cloud cloud.

1302
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 2: They married at eighteen last two years and husband and

1303
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 2: OPI have been married eight years together for fourteen.

1304
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,279
Speaker 3: Yeah okay, okay, so no, so she's been around the

1305
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:10,879
Speaker 3: entire time.

1306
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, this is all I know.

1307
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 2: It isn't some shocking new thing to me. My life

1308
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,240
Speaker 2: is falling apart. The only thing holding me up are

1309
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 2: two little hands that hug me every night and the

1310
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 2: small bean in my belly pregnant. Yeah, we haven't discussed

1311
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 2: anything legal yet. He left the house and my sister

1312
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 2: and mom are staying with us for now. And that

1313
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,400
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

1314
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonn get back to the stories.

1315
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1316
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 3: I refused to help take care of my ex'es sick

1317
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:47,800
Speaker 3: kids because they have norovirus.

1318
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 2: That's a fair reason. Yeah, you don't want to the

1319
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 2: poopy bar feet disease. Hye yae yaie hi, folks.

1320
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 3: I have had a volatile relationship with a single mother

1321
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 3: of three Kiskis for two years. There's a lot of

1322
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:06,000
Speaker 3: love between us, but lots of cultural issues, old trauma

1323
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 3: and insecure attachment styles got in the way between us

1324
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 3: and it's been a hard road. By the way, This

1325
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 3: comes from user ok fly forty three twenty nine on

1326
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay story time subbreddit. So recently, it

1327
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 3: all got too much and we split up. We were

1328
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 3: both clear that we loved each other, but it wasn't working.

1329
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 3: We have a relationship therapist, and we both seemed keen

1330
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 3: to stay close and work on it with our therapists

1331
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 3: in the hope that we can make it work. Two

1332
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 3: weekends ago, we spent the day together on this Saturday,

1333
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 3: and it was a good day. It felt like a

1334
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 3: date to me, and had a lighter energy together than

1335
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 3: we'd had in a long time. She raised the idea

1336
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 3: of going on a short vacation together, and I stayed

1337
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,160
Speaker 3: over at her place until Sunday morning to have breakfast

1338
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 3: with her and her kids. They were away Friday evening

1339
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 3: to Sunday morning with their father. The breakfast on Sunday

1340
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:56,240
Speaker 3: morning was also good, but I went home soon after

1341
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 3: as I had a lot of things I had to

1342
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 3: get finished before that Monday, one of which was prepared

1343
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 3: aring for my dog to go to the veterinary hospital

1344
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 3: for an operation I've been waiting on for two months,

1345
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 3: which was happening on Monday afternoon. On Sunday night, my

1346
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 3: ex partner's son started vomiting, you know, and it turned

1347
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 3: out that one of our other kids was vomiting the

1348
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 3: previous day, and their father had neglected to tell my

1349
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,600
Speaker 3: ex partner for some reason.

1350
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 1: Soon her ex husband reported he was vomiting too, and

1351
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 1: it looked.

1352
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 3: Almost certain this was norovirus. For those who don't know,

1353
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 3: norovirus is a very highly contagious virus that causes one

1354
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 3: to two days of violent vomiting and often diarrhea, and

1355
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 3: then fortunately stops as quick as it started. It's extremely unpleasant,

1356
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 3: you don't say, and but not life threatening unless someone

1357
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 3: is compromised, and I have had it before. Sadly, this

1358
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 3: gives limited resistance as it also mutates quickly. At this point,

1359
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 3: my ex partner had to deal with a night of

1360
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:56,439
Speaker 3: her son vomiting everywhere well. I stayed at my house

1361
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 3: waiting to see if I had caught it. I was

1362
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 3: quite anxious about not being able to take my dog

1363
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:03,920
Speaker 3: for his operation if I had caught the virus, or

1364
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 3: taking him and then not being able to pick him

1365
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 3: up and having to leave him at the hospital on

1366
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 3: his own for days, as you have to isolate yourself

1367
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 3: for forty eight hours after the symptoms passed so that

1368
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 3: you don't give it to other people. The appointment had

1369
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 3: taken two months to come through, and I was worried

1370
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 3: he'd be in pain for another two months if he

1371
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 3: couldn't go this time. I don't have any family or

1372
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 3: friends around who could help me with this, unfortunately, as

1373
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:27,880
Speaker 3: I moved away from my home city to be near

1374
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 3: my ex partner while we were still together. Of Course,

1375
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 3: I also don't get any sick pay for my job.

1376
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 3: I discussed all of this with my ex and asked

1377
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 3: her what I could do to help that wouldn't involve

1378
01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 3: exposing myself to the virus. Primarily, I offered to get

1379
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 3: her whatever supplies she needed and bring them to her

1380
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 3: house whenever she wanted. She wanted me to take some

1381
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 3: of the bedding her son had vomited on away and

1382
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 3: wash it. I have a larger washing machine and a dryer,

1383
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 3: but I didn't want to do that because it would

1384
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 3: expose me directly to the virus. Yeah, and also, I

1385
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 3: don't want your son's barf in my laundry machine.

1386
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 2: Please, So she can't do it because she doesn't have

1387
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 2: a large enough machine.

1388
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 3: I think maybe she just also feels very sick and

1389
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 3: barfeet and is in need of assistance.

1390
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 2: Sucks, But also, like I can't ask people to expose themselves.

1391
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think maybe you just throw all the barf

1392
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,800
Speaker 3: linens in a bag and throw them in the garbage.

1393
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 2: You can't just throw them out.

1394
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 3: I think you can if you get norovirus barf all

1395
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 3: over them. I think it's just you call it quits.

1396
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:29,920
Speaker 2: She's just sound done.

1397
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 1: You know, I'm done.

1398
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 3: I frew up on something once and I said I

1399
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,080
Speaker 3: don't want to have this anything.

1400
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I threw up.

1401
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 3: You just I don't want the memory of the throw

1402
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 3: up on my It was look, okay, if it was

1403
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 3: something just very quick here, if it was something that

1404
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 3: I was like in love with, I probably would have

1405
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 3: washed it. But like it was like a nothing article

1406
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:56,720
Speaker 3: of clothing, and I'm like, yeah, this is the easiest

1407
01:01:56,760 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 3: way here is to just throw it away.

1408
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 2: I guess. So if it doesn't spark joy.

1409
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Maricondo.

1410
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:04,160
Speaker 3: She didn't ask me to help in any other way

1411
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 3: except to shove the barfee things in my washing machine,

1412
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 3: and didn't accept my offer to fetch supplies for Fortunately,

1413
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:14,360
Speaker 3: I didn't catch the virus and was able to deal

1414
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: with my dog's hospitalization without further complications and go to

1415
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 3: work as usual. My ex partner did catch the virus

1416
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 3: and thus spent most of this week either looking after

1417
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 3: sick kids or being sick herself.

1418
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 1: That sucks.

1419
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:28,400
Speaker 3: We spent quite a lot of time talking for the

1420
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:31,040
Speaker 3: first couple of days, but she seemed less talkative with

1421
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 3: me quite quickly. I did go to visit her outside

1422
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 3: her house, keeping a safe distance like we used to

1423
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 3: have to do with COVID, and brought her flowers. During

1424
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 3: this conversation, she told me she'd asked her ex husband

1425
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 3: to bring supplies to her instead, and she seemed quite

1426
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:46,480
Speaker 3: angry with me.

1427
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's kind of unfair because it doesn't

1428
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:53,120
Speaker 2: seem like OP was against bringing supplies. It was just

1429
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 2: taking care of her kids and washing the sheets.

1430
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, imagine she's actually just mad because he brought like

1431
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 3: the wrong flowers.

1432
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:04,320
Speaker 2: These are terrible flowers.

1433
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 3: After she recovered, she no longer seemed to be happy

1434
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 3: with me or want to see me much at all,

1435
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 3: and her previous talk of going on a short vacation

1436
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:15,760
Speaker 3: together or working on fixing our problems stopped. She seemed

1437
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 3: unhappy that I hadn't helped her more with her sick kids.

1438
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 3: I convinced her to attend a session with our relationship

1439
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:23,800
Speaker 3: therapist to discuss it. My ex confirmed that she was

1440
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 3: upset with me for not helping with her kids. I

1441
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 3: asked her if she expected me to go into her

1442
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 3: house and stay there to help with her kids, knowing

1443
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 3: that this would mean I would almost certainly catch the

1444
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:36,600
Speaker 3: virus myself, and she agreed with this. At no point

1445
01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 3: had she asked me to do this. It seems she

1446
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,480
Speaker 3: just expected me to offer.

1447
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:41,640
Speaker 1: Or to just do it.

1448
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:44,880
Speaker 3: With our therapist listening, I tried to understand why she

1449
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:47,200
Speaker 3: felt this way. I asked her if she would expect

1450
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 3: me to expose myself to the virus if I had kids,

1451
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,480
Speaker 3: and she said no. I reminded her of my dog's

1452
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 3: hospital appointment and that I don't get paid if I'm sick,

1453
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:58,160
Speaker 3: and she basically just shrugged and said I could get

1454
01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 3: another appointment from my dog. I asked her if she

1455
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:02,000
Speaker 3: would come and look after me if I was sick

1456
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 3: with NOUM virus, and she didn't answer.

1457
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, because no one wants to get norvirus. I don't

1458
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 2: think like not wanting to be around a partner or

1459
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:16,240
Speaker 2: a friend when they're very ill. Five ill, coetageously ill

1460
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:20,240
Speaker 2: is a red flag I don't think that's a red flag. No, No,

1461
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 2: I just don't want to get sick.

1462
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 1: So she didn't answer.

1463
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 3: When I pressed her on that, I pointed out that

1464
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:27,760
Speaker 3: if I went in and got sick, I wouldn't be

1465
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 3: able to help much with.

1466
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 1: Her kids, please, and it would be one more person

1467
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:33,960
Speaker 1: creating more laundry in her house.

1468
01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 2: It's just more barf on the sheets exactly. Yeah, everyone's

1469
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:43,280
Speaker 2: got neurovirus. The sheets are all covered with barb another

1470
01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 2: day because.

1471
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 1: And again Christmas was ruined.

1472
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:46,680
Speaker 2: Christmas cancel.

1473
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 3: The conversation went like this, but was inconclusive. My therapist

1474
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 3: didn't comment during the session, but I asked her in

1475
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:56,560
Speaker 3: an individual session later if she thought my ex partner's

1476
01:04:56,600 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 3: expectations were reasonable. She immediately said no. The therapist very

1477
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 3: supportive and understanding of both of us. She's pretty amazing really,

1478
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:05,400
Speaker 3: so she wasn't being critical of my ex partner when

1479
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:08,000
Speaker 3: she said this. She was just helping me have some perspective,

1480
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 3: and we want to help you have some perspective. Every

1481
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:17,360
Speaker 3: weekday at three PMPST, when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok,

1482
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,440
Speaker 3: and Twitch. All you gotta do is tap on our

1483
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 3: profile on any one of those platforms and you're in

1484
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 3: the live. We might even be live right now, so

1485
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,600
Speaker 3: go check on that right after this because we're gonna

1486
01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:33,040
Speaker 3: collect our thoughts. Honestly, it feels like OP wants his

1487
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:35,919
Speaker 3: ex partner back way more than the X wants Op back.

1488
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 2: Well. Yeah, it seems like she's kind of like she's like, whatever,

1489
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:40,919
Speaker 2: you didn't want to be there when I had neurovirus.

1490
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:44,960
Speaker 2: So if you can't handle me when I have virus,

1491
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,280
Speaker 2: you don't deserve me when I don't.

1492
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you know.

1493
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:52,840
Speaker 3: And I've always said that she can't handle me at

1494
01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:56,680
Speaker 3: my barf barfee disease, you don't deserve me at my

1495
01:05:56,840 --> 01:06:00,439
Speaker 3: not barfee not diseased. Yeah, So I don't know. Maybe

1496
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 3: the wife is like the wife sounds a little.

1497
01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 2: Manipulady, a little manipulatd.

1498
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 3: Because like one, she's trying to like strong arm you

1499
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:10,440
Speaker 3: into like not she doesn't care about your dog, she

1500
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:12,000
Speaker 3: doesn't care about that. And then as soon as you

1501
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 3: were like what would you do any of this for me,

1502
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:17,800
Speaker 3: she just went dead silent, like hmmm, Actually, I do have.

1503
01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:21,000
Speaker 2: A question because based on the title is this, are

1504
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:21,600
Speaker 2: they together?

1505
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:24,920
Speaker 1: No, they're as yeah, they're not together.

1506
01:06:25,240 --> 01:06:29,840
Speaker 3: I forget, I forgot about partners and she has another

1507
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:34,400
Speaker 3: ex husband in the story also didn't. Yeah, and these

1508
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:36,959
Speaker 3: aren't even his kids. I don't think they're his kids.

1509
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 1: No, no, yes, sorry.

1510
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 2: They're ex partners. These aren't his kids, and he's why

1511
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:48,760
Speaker 2: are they even going to therapy? They must be somewhat.

1512
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:50,640
Speaker 3: His kids, or maybe they don't even like it. Some

1513
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 3: people just don't know how to cut things off. Yeah,

1514
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:56,080
Speaker 3: you know, some people just let things like tail and

1515
01:06:56,200 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 3: trail off into eternity, and it's like this person doesn't

1516
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:04,200
Speaker 3: actually value you outside of what you are just able

1517
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:05,320
Speaker 3: to provide for.

1518
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 1: Them at any given a moment.

1519
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:11,480
Speaker 3: And you know, they probably just I would bet that

1520
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:15,800
Speaker 3: the ex wife or the ex partner viewed going on

1521
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:18,360
Speaker 3: a little getaway with you as a way to make

1522
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,840
Speaker 3: her ex her other ex jealous.

1523
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:23,760
Speaker 1: Let's finish this stream again today.

1524
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:26,600
Speaker 3: Although my ex partner and I are friendly again, she

1525
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:29,280
Speaker 3: told me straight that things are different between us because

1526
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:31,440
Speaker 3: I didn't help her, and she noted that while we

1527
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:34,040
Speaker 3: aren't together, it doesn't stop her feeling like I should

1528
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:36,200
Speaker 3: have helped her more, and she's not interested in seeing

1529
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:38,520
Speaker 3: if we can make things work anymore. I almost don't

1530
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:41,040
Speaker 3: know how to feel. It's very stressful. Am I missing

1531
01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:42,680
Speaker 3: anything here? Am I the ahle?

1532
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:43,400
Speaker 1: No?

1533
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:46,160
Speaker 2: No not, You're only the ahole if you try and

1534
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:49,600
Speaker 2: get back together with her. Why Yeah, she's trying to

1535
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:53,160
Speaker 2: make you take care of kids that are one not yours.

1536
01:07:53,200 --> 01:07:54,600
Speaker 2: And also you're not together.

1537
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, here's the update. Just wanted to say thank you

1538
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 3: for all the replies. I haven't had time to read

1539
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:01,560
Speaker 3: them all in Dale, but we'll digest them over the

1540
01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:03,600
Speaker 3: next day or two. I can see the most consistent

1541
01:08:03,640 --> 01:08:05,560
Speaker 3: theme though, and I guess I needed to hear that.

1542
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 3: I'm feeling very sad right now, but I'll come back

1543
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:09,520
Speaker 3: and comment further if I get a chance.

1544
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:11,959
Speaker 1: Thanks again. Wait, what consistent theme is he talking about?

1545
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story.