1
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,760
Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

2
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,920
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.

3
00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:11,760
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim.

4
00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:17,759
Speaker 2: Give us time and a termino and gay. We want

5
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:22,520
Speaker 2: to send you off in style. You wanna welcome you

6
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,520
Speaker 2: back home?

7
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:31,200
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?

8
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,519
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

9
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,400
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

10
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,440
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?

11
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,880
Speaker 1: Do you need ride?

12
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,320
Speaker 2: Do you do you.

13
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,800
Speaker 1: With Karen and Chris.

14
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:16,760
Speaker 4: Welcome to Do you need a ride? My name's Chris Fairbanks.

15
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:23,679
Speaker 4: I am by myself in the car. Usually I'm I'm

16
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:30,880
Speaker 4: usually one, I'm not chewing gum, very unprofessional, and and

17
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:35,880
Speaker 4: and B. I can't remember if I started numerically or alphabetically.

18
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:40,080
Speaker 4: Buh no, it's part two. Karen and kel Garaf is

19
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:45,600
Speaker 4: usually hosting with me. And then thirdly, I forgot this

20
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:46,520
Speaker 4: was a three parter.

21
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,160
Speaker 1: We usually have a guest.

22
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:57,160
Speaker 4: I am driving myself to Flappers, the name of a

23
00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,720
Speaker 4: comedy club that I have mixed feelings about. Honestly, I

24
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,720
Speaker 4: you know, it's nineteen twenties themed, so that's what Flappers

25
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,440
Speaker 4: is referencing. But I, you know, I think all of us,

26
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 4: and when I say flappers to you, the word flappers

27
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:17,200
Speaker 4: makes flappers makes us think of any number of genitalia

28
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 4: on men or women.

29
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,280
Speaker 1: And the sport of jogging.

30
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,320
Speaker 4: If you call jogging a sport, A lot of people

31
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,440
Speaker 4: don't consider anything that you do by yourself a sport,

32
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:39,760
Speaker 4: and with those people, I take argument all the time, golf, skateboarding, reading,

33
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,639
Speaker 4: just about everything I do by myself.

34
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:48,160
Speaker 1: I'm kidding. I don't read anyway. Usually Karen's with me.

35
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:49,760
Speaker 1: She is very busy. This week.

36
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,320
Speaker 4: She is in the middle of two writing jobs. She

37
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,359
Speaker 4: has to do an outline for tomorrow. I'm not sure

38
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,240
Speaker 4: what that is. I think it's a rough version of

39
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:05,120
Speaker 4: something written, and I have my set at tit flappers,

40
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,720
Speaker 4: So we're just gonna sorry, flappers, We're just gonna listen

41
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,359
Speaker 4: to my voice and you can stop.

42
00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:14,399
Speaker 1: At this point. I have anxiety about.

43
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,680
Speaker 4: Not coming out with an episode because I heard that

44
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:23,000
Speaker 4: that's bad mojo, and I've never used the phrase bad mojo.

45
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:23,520
Speaker 1: In my life.

46
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:27,160
Speaker 4: It makes me think of someone that lights candles and

47
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 4: then kills chickens. It's a gypsy word used by those

48
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,240
Speaker 4: in the art of.

49
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,440
Speaker 1: Voodoo. So sorry, I said bad.

50
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,920
Speaker 4: Mojo, but I I do think that it's bad luck.

51
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,800
Speaker 4: Let's just say, look, if you want to be all

52
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,800
Speaker 4: Caucasian Middle America about it, it's bad luck to not

53
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:52,200
Speaker 4: have an episode come out every week. So this is

54
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,080
Speaker 4: my and I I am gonna put a disclaimer or

55
00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:00,320
Speaker 4: at least a colon, either an illustration or that word

56
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,720
Speaker 4: spelled out where it says Chris Fairbanks by himself cool

57
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:10,320
Speaker 4: and you don't have to listen to this. And I'm

58
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:15,480
Speaker 4: now having better ideas. But anyway, we're going to Flappers Ways.

59
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,960
Speaker 4: It's and you know, a lot of people for a

60
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,320
Speaker 4: long time, I'd show up late and they're like.

61
00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,560
Speaker 1: Well, you gotta get ways, whether you're using.

62
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:27,880
Speaker 4: Google Maps, someone's grandpa, or they just would call me

63
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,160
Speaker 4: my grandpa. And I didn't get it. I didn't get it.

64
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,560
Speaker 4: I didn't see the benefits of it. But man, they

65
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:38,000
Speaker 4: have got an algorithm that will keep you from losing

66
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,600
Speaker 4: your way, that's for certain.

67
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:42,880
Speaker 1: They have used.

68
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,960
Speaker 4: Zigzagging down roads. The point is with Ways, and of

69
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,240
Speaker 4: course they're now a sponsor.

70
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:52,679
Speaker 1: Do you need a ride? Ways will have us zigzagging through.

71
00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,880
Speaker 4: You know, sometimes areas you don't like routes that you're

72
00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,200
Speaker 4: unfamiliar with. If you don't trust Ways, if you try

73
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,760
Speaker 4: and add your own shortcuts, you're not believing in the system.

74
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,760
Speaker 4: So you gotta put your trust in Ways. And ever since,

75
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,960
Speaker 4: I just I pulled down the walls and I let

76
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,120
Speaker 4: them grab hold of my life.

77
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,240
Speaker 1: Ways. There's a book I'd like you to read.

78
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,640
Speaker 4: That's sorry, it seemed like I was talking about a religion,

79
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,920
Speaker 4: but I'm very impressed with Ways as an application.

80
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,000
Speaker 1: I know it's nothing more.

81
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,320
Speaker 4: And I'm not about to slip on some purple nikes

82
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,240
Speaker 4: and slip my throat in a bunk bed. Okay, here

83
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,840
Speaker 4: we go. I'm taking a left on Normandy. I'm leaving

84
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,000
Speaker 4: the Larchmond area. I should have mentioned that earlier and

85
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:44,719
Speaker 4: heading to Flappers. That's Dick Flappers in Burbank, regular Flappers.

86
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:51,320
Speaker 1: How many times? And I'm here to read Yeah, yeah,

87
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:56,280
Speaker 1: we got it. Also, usually I think I mentioned this.

88
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,360
Speaker 4: We usually have a guest. I think tonight there will

89
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,240
Speaker 4: be other common accept the show. I don't know a

90
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,920
Speaker 4: lot of their names. You know, I go to Flappers

91
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:10,440
Speaker 4: with a lot of questions. It's not my scene. They

92
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,039
Speaker 4: have you sign a contract that literally says you will

93
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,839
Speaker 4: be paid zero dollars, the number zero with a dollar

94
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,839
Speaker 4: sign in front of it. That is in a contract

95
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,520
Speaker 4: that they insist you sign, and that just that means

96
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,680
Speaker 4: you're agreeing to be mistreated. That's all you're doing by

97
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:31,279
Speaker 4: signing that. But you know, give you a longer set

98
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:32,800
Speaker 4: in LA. A lot of people don't know that. In

99
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 4: Los Angeles as a comedian, it's not always easiest thing

100
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,920
Speaker 4: to do, like an hour of material, or it's hard

101
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:40,440
Speaker 4: to come by.

102
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,400
Speaker 1: Rather easy.

103
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:45,560
Speaker 4: I mean, it's easy for me to talk for an hour. Clearly,

104
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,240
Speaker 4: I don't like that joke where people fake laugh and

105
00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:52,200
Speaker 4: I just did it. I'm gonna apologize anyway. I'm excited

106
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,320
Speaker 4: to go there. I want to get some stuff off

107
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,960
Speaker 4: my chest. I'm not that kind of comic that's like, oh,

108
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,719
Speaker 4: I got some stuff to get off my tits chest,

109
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,760
Speaker 4: but I you know I do.

110
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,040
Speaker 1: But I got some new jokes I'm working on.

111
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,520
Speaker 4: It's a good place to fire them off into some

112
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:12,200
Speaker 4: human's ear holes and then you know, next week, though,

113
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,560
Speaker 4: Karen and I will be boarding.

114
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:19,480
Speaker 1: M all aboard fresh Fish. I won't do anything like

115
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,560
Speaker 1: that again. I'm sorry. I thought i'd do some folly

116
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,840
Speaker 1: work came out of left field. Pey nuts. Getch you peanuts?

117
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,560
Speaker 1: That was a left field. That's a baseball reference.

118
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,240
Speaker 4: I anyway, we're getting on a boat for the Atlantic

119
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,679
Speaker 4: Ocean Comedy Festival. It's gonna be very fun. I'm taking

120
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,760
Speaker 4: a right on Santa Monica Boulevard. There's a street urchin

121
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:45,360
Speaker 4: smoking appears to be a handmade cigarette, and he gave

122
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,160
Speaker 4: me full eye contact. I did not waste any time

123
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,080
Speaker 4: on him. Last episode, we had a lot of violence.

124
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,960
Speaker 4: The todd last episode there was a biker that tried

125
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,920
Speaker 4: to attack us. That wasn't the last episode anyway, the

126
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,880
Speaker 4: one before. It's so hard to keep track of the

127
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:05,680
Speaker 4: dozen we've done. I am anyway, I'm not.

128
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,280
Speaker 1: I didn't. I'm not off route. We're gonna be getting

129
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:09,560
Speaker 1: on a boat.

130
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:13,760
Speaker 4: Karen and I for the Atlantic Ocean Comedy Festival. Very exciting,

131
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 4: put on by the Max Fun Maximum Fun dot org

132
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:26,440
Speaker 4: podcast collective. Jesse Thorn, my friend Jordan Morris Aldi's I wonder.

133
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,840
Speaker 1: If I don't think Jordan's gonna be there.

134
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:34,800
Speaker 4: But there's gonna be fans of podcasting and fans of podcasting,

135
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,000
Speaker 4: and there's a cop behind me. I think he thinks

136
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,400
Speaker 4: I'm schizophrenic, you know, in this age of blue tooths

137
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:46,520
Speaker 4: and everything and the freedom to just express yourself to yourself.

138
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,560
Speaker 4: Isn't he just being a little paranoid? If you ask me,

139
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,000
Speaker 4: he really is on my ass, really on it. Well

140
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,880
Speaker 4: that's the thing about me and cops. All they have

141
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,840
Speaker 4: to do is see my mustache and they just give

142
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,680
Speaker 4: me that nod all of a sudden, like he's not

143
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,640
Speaker 4: one of us. I would have recognized him. But he

144
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,280
Speaker 4: must work for the city. Fuck, I'm in the wrong lane.

145
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,240
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Oh really you got You're in a hurry?

146
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,120
Speaker 4: What do you got a date?

147
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,000
Speaker 1: I doubt it. Your laundry is in the back seat, asshole. Okay,

148
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:12,520
Speaker 1: here we go.

149
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,920
Speaker 4: Here we go taking a left on Vermont. I I

150
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,199
Speaker 4: got a little nervous there.

151
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,240
Speaker 1: Sorry. I lashed out at that guy, but he was

152
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 1: being aggressive.

153
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,600
Speaker 4: So uh yeah, I'm excited to get on the boat.

154
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,120
Speaker 4: And on the boat we will have access to uh

155
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:31,880
Speaker 4: some of your favorite comedians and uh bands, the bands.

156
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,560
Speaker 4: I'm the comman, you know, Kyle Kanang.

157
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:38,480
Speaker 1: There's there's uh, there's there's there's more. There's many comics.

158
00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,480
Speaker 4: I I it's am Isn't it amazing that out of

159
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,760
Speaker 4: a dozen names that I've read on a list.

160
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,079
Speaker 1: For months now, all I could think of was Kyle.

161
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,720
Speaker 4: Maybe that says something about me, Maybe that says something

162
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:56,959
Speaker 4: about my flapper ha uh. Come on, jokes jokes by

163
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,839
Speaker 4: yourself in a car. If you guys don't mind, I'm

164
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,679
Speaker 4: just gonna roll down the window a little bit. Oh boy,

165
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,800
Speaker 4: it's a nice night. It's one of those crisp l

166
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:06,480
Speaker 4: a Nikes.

167
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,360
Speaker 1: Nikes. Yeah, I said Nikes. You know what, It's funny.

168
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,360
Speaker 4: There's there's some people that are consonant Nazis and I'm

169
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,800
Speaker 4: not one of them. So I'll say it's a beautiful Nike,

170
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,600
Speaker 4: and you just jump on board. You don't think of

171
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,560
Speaker 4: oh you mean the opposite of to day. No, you

172
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,880
Speaker 4: start thinking about a running shoe because I said Nikes.

173
00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,520
Speaker 1: That's it's a beautiful Nike.

174
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:36,200
Speaker 4: Okay, So don't abandon me and just assume that I

175
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,720
Speaker 4: made a mistake. But oh, man, on this boat, though,

176
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:43,040
Speaker 4: we're gonna have so many podcasts because I think technically

177
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,080
Speaker 4: we are giving rides. I'm not going to be the

178
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,600
Speaker 4: captain of the boat. And Nora Karen my co captain.

179
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,880
Speaker 4: I don't think that's what they call it.

180
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,840
Speaker 1: Captain. Uh.

181
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,000
Speaker 4: Part two, I think is what they call that. Anyway,

182
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,160
Speaker 4: we're gonna have come back with so many great episodes.

183
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:03,640
Speaker 4: I can see it right now. You know it's you're

184
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:08,320
Speaker 4: gonna love it. It's just and I guess this episode, which

185
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,440
Speaker 4: I can't believe you're still listening to. I mean, come on,

186
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,240
Speaker 4: I know you have a day job, but good and

187
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,840
Speaker 4: there's something you could do clerically or data entry wise

188
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,680
Speaker 4: that would keep you from just this is one of

189
00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,720
Speaker 4: the most I think I'm having problems with it. I mean,

190
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:29,679
Speaker 4: podcasts in general are this way, but it's pretty self

191
00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:31,199
Speaker 4: indulgent for it just.

192
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:35,400
Speaker 1: To be me here with my mouth flapper just going

193
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:35,760
Speaker 1: at you.

194
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:40,960
Speaker 4: I'll be at Flappers tonight at nine thirty headlining. That

195
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,000
Speaker 4: was an impression of Brodie Stevens. I just you know,

196
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,560
Speaker 4: it's weird to just do it by yourself. I thought

197
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,720
Speaker 4: it was an idea. I don't even know if I'll

198
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,560
Speaker 4: post this. I don't think it's called posting. Uploading better

199
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,760
Speaker 4: better word than posting. But you know, what do I know?

200
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,480
Speaker 4: I've never had a blog, barely have a website. For

201
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:02,480
Speaker 4: God's site, had presence is my biggest downfall.

202
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:05,440
Speaker 1: No, there's other things.

203
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:09,960
Speaker 4: I'm worse at a terrible son and a horrible husband. Well,

204
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,560
Speaker 4: I've never been married, but isn't that the worst thing

205
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,199
Speaker 4: about me being a husband?

206
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:16,840
Speaker 1: I won't.

207
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,360
Speaker 4: I can't even get married. I can't even get a wife.

208
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:24,520
Speaker 4: That makes me an awful husband. I will someday. You know,

209
00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:29,360
Speaker 4: it's me I think I have. Honestly, I was gonna

210
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,160
Speaker 4: say commitment issues, but the word intimacy came up, and

211
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,920
Speaker 4: I think that I have problems with all that.

212
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,520
Speaker 1: You know. I think, come on, take a left turn,

213
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:41,520
Speaker 1: you dunce fuck. I think you know.

214
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,720
Speaker 4: There's a few times my mom had loud sex with

215
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,320
Speaker 4: strange men. I don't know who they were. One guy

216
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,440
Speaker 4: was named Dale. He had missing your lived in a van.

217
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 4: I liked him though, because he had a lot of

218
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,800
Speaker 4: cool rock shirts. I was more of a cure new

219
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,360
Speaker 4: order guy. But man, did he have some Van Halen

220
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,680
Speaker 4: shirts that on the market here in LA at some

221
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,120
Speaker 4: thrift store man sixty seventy bucks.

222
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,040
Speaker 1: They'd pull in and uh, he'd pull it.

223
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,040
Speaker 4: Off and give it to you. Probably was a nice guy.

224
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,440
Speaker 4: And then with ease cause he only had one ear.

225
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,200
Speaker 4: I think I mentioned that they'd stay in a van.

226
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:16,679
Speaker 1: You know.

227
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,120
Speaker 4: My mom met him in AA and I guess that

228
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:23,319
Speaker 4: becomes your social network when when uh, all of a sudden,

229
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:27,320
Speaker 4: you're not going out and dancing to blues.

230
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,920
Speaker 1: Music or whatever she used to do.

231
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,240
Speaker 4: One time, one time, I I smelled weed in her room,

232
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,000
Speaker 4: and I s I knew what that was like, cause

233
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,400
Speaker 4: my sister had a party, had.

234
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,720
Speaker 1: Smelled marijuana before, and uh, she was there.

235
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,520
Speaker 4: She was there with her friend, Uh Connie or s No,

236
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,360
Speaker 4: it wasn't Connie, who was it? Not?

237
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:48,760
Speaker 1: Only anyway, they were naked.

238
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,200
Speaker 4: And then explain the play boys that I used to

239
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,000
Speaker 4: look at under her bed. But she said, and in

240
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,080
Speaker 4: her def I kind of believe this. She was like,

241
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,200
Speaker 4: I have a hustler and a playboy on her my

242
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,080
Speaker 4: bed because my boyfriend was showing me the difference between

243
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:03,440
Speaker 4: the two.

244
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 1: And even at that.

245
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,360
Speaker 4: Edge, that edge, that age, that was the age I

246
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,720
Speaker 4: was playing for you two.

247
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,680
Speaker 1: It's popular. I was called the edge.

248
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,280
Speaker 4: God, damn it so hard to tell jokes sometimes when

249
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:22,080
Speaker 4: the main focus with joke telling is being able to

250
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:27,440
Speaker 4: deliver a standard word like age. Oh, it was at

251
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,040
Speaker 4: a very young edge. And then someone interrupts me, you

252
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 4: mean you too, and you know, put a kick me

253
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,720
Speaker 4: sign on my back. That's what I deserve. There should

254
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:39,120
Speaker 4: be a bully in this car, some consonant bully. I

255
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,360
Speaker 4: said consonant Nazi before, but I think that was a

256
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,320
Speaker 4: bit harsh. People don't like hearing about that anyway. My

257
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,480
Speaker 4: mom used to slap her friends tits around, So I'm

258
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:52,000
Speaker 4: going to flappers. That reminds me and I'm gonna get

259
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,040
Speaker 4: into it. You know, I'm gonna have some Uh, I'm

260
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,800
Speaker 4: gonna have some fun tonight. Matt Kershon. I was gonna

261
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,400
Speaker 4: ask him to do the H podcast, and I don't

262
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,800
Speaker 4: know if you know that guy, but he's the best dude. Uh,

263
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,640
Speaker 4: I'll just go ahead and have him be my virtual

264
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:07,360
Speaker 4: guest tonight.

265
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,280
Speaker 1: H Matt, how are you? Oh?

266
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,800
Speaker 4: I'm fine, Love. I'm from the UK or the United

267
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 4: Kingdom all uh you Britain, Oh, great Britain, Old England.

268
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,760
Speaker 1: There's so many names for that one island.

269
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 4: I mean, I know that some of them are excluding

270
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,480
Speaker 4: or including Scotland, but I d you know, it's just

271
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,119
Speaker 4: it's another country, and I'll tell you something about myself.

272
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 4: I am only willing to learn about this goddamn country

273
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,640
Speaker 4: right now that we reside in. It's funny to do

274
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:45,160
Speaker 4: the two accents and what am I like an actor person?

275
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,600
Speaker 1: Why did I That's so dumb that I did that.

276
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:52,440
Speaker 4: I apologize, but in my defense, I'm I that was

277
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 4: one of the better English accents I've ever done. It

278
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,360
Speaker 4: was an okay domestic one. And I say domestic because

279
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,480
Speaker 4: I'm proud of where my great great great grandparents fucked.

280
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,600
Speaker 1: I am at a red light. I think I'm approaching.

281
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 4: You know, it'll be up to me at that point,

282
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,120
Speaker 4: of course, because you have no saying this, You're only

283
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,960
Speaker 4: using your ears. But I might just stop podcasting once

284
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,640
Speaker 4: I get to Flappitti's and you know, or I have

285
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,640
Speaker 4: the option of either grabbing a comic in there. You know,

286
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,440
Speaker 4: if I see a Arsenio Hall or a Nerd Burfler

287
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 4: or a you know, I'm just saying comics from the

288
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 4: old timey days.

289
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 1: I might grab them put them in the car.

290
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:41,040
Speaker 4: But as of now, this is just an apology from

291
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 4: from Karen and I that we don't.

292
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 1: Have, like a full legit episode.

293
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,560
Speaker 4: But I didn't want to leave you hanging, you know,

294
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 4: I didn't want to just have there be this void

295
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,720
Speaker 4: between you and I because that's something I've learned in

296
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:59,240
Speaker 4: my marriage that doesn't exist is a void turns into

297
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:06,240
Speaker 4: other problems. You know, avoid avoid the void.

298
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 1: Someone write that down.

299
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 4: You know, when it comes to relationships, colon and colon spilled.

300
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,760
Speaker 4: Avoid the void. And that's easy enough. That's an easy

301
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,560
Speaker 4: way to live your life with other people. You know,

302
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 4: don't create voids. Be consistent. Let people know you're there

303
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 4: for them. I'm there for you. Fuck I miss the

304
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 4: five these fucking freeway. Okay, I'm getting a chance to

305
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,919
Speaker 4: do your turn. I got Karen's so much better at

306
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 4: multitasking and driving.

307
00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 1: She really is. I really screwed the pooch on that one.

308
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 1: I might Okay, let's uh.

309
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,639
Speaker 4: I just want to abruptly stop and apologize for the

310
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 4: phrase screwed the pooch. I that's never ever come out

311
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:57,359
Speaker 4: of my talk hole. I that's I hate that it did.

312
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 4: I guess what I'm saying is I'm becoming my grandmother

313
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 4: or I'm getting her hips. Okay, here, we're gonna go

314
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 4: right on. I guess I got it. Like I said before,

315
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:15,120
Speaker 4: trust the ways. Don't try and add your own data.

316
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 4: I'm turning right on Glenn Fold.

317
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 1: Fuck. Sorry.

318
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 4: See that's the thing with when I'm driving, it becomes

319
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:30,520
Speaker 4: more about the routes and me vocalizing things. Karen's cool

320
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:34,879
Speaker 4: as a cucumber in the car. Cool it's a cucumber

321
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 4: in the car. And so now I'm in a residential area.

322
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 1: I got a little off track on the way to flappities.

323
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,439
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm not afraid to you know.

324
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 4: I'm a bit of a rebel, not the kind that

325
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 4: has a mohawk and spray paints.

326
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 1: I hate my dad on a wall. But I will

327
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,359
Speaker 1: show up late to a show.

328
00:18:55,160 --> 00:19:00,920
Speaker 4: The contract, which again agrees that I will receive zero dollars,

329
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 4: also said, you know, show up at eight thirty, man,

330
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 4: it's nine twenty two. But come on, who shows up

331
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 4: an hour before showtime? I'll tell you who the opener? Yeah,

332
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,880
Speaker 4: and I'm no opener. I've been doing this sixteen seventeen.

333
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,919
Speaker 4: Oh god, that's depressing. It's weird that right now everyone

334
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 4: that's listening, you know, upwards of two two thousand a

335
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 4: dozen people. It's possibly you're new to me, and oh man,

336
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 4: so many years doing this.

337
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 1: But you know what, I'm not here to I'm not

338
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 1: here to complain.

339
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 4: I've had a great time, and I'm having more fun

340
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 4: lately doing stand up than ever in my life and

341
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 4: that's that's actually just a genuine thought. But yeah, it's

342
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 4: stand up fun it's getting funner or more fun you

343
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,400
Speaker 4: know what. We can say funner and you can look

344
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 4: it up now, Dick, if you're about to be a

345
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 4: word nazi, sorry a word coach on me, it's it's

346
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:08,400
Speaker 4: it's a word now funner. It got entered into either

347
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:12,119
Speaker 4: Funk and Wagnalls. Sorry those are encyclopedias. I think it

348
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 4: got entered into you know, the Random House and the

349
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 4: Webster and all that great show.

350
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 1: Random House not a great book. Confusing title. It's alphabetized,

351
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:27,360
Speaker 1: not random. Okay, here we go. I'm taking a right. Oh,

352
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 1: here's the five. Wow. See you gotta trust Ways. I

353
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 1: just went. I basically drove.

354
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 4: Through people's living rooms and here I gotta shoot out.

355
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: Gotta shoot out. Okay, which do I do? You gotta

356
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,639
Speaker 1: give me the info? Fuck?

357
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 4: Okay, here we go. Ways saved me. I do believe,

358
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 4: and damn it. Okay, this is ridiculous. I just want

359
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 4: to on an upper level. I was supposed to go

360
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 4: on the lower level, but you know what, fucking.

361
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 1: Mark your shit.

362
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 4: Ah, this is so frustrating. Some you know, I don't

363
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 4: know how I survive in this city. I'm basically if

364
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 4: you can think of a perfect figure eight, that's what

365
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:18,360
Speaker 4: I just created. Like some idiots avant that's into geometry

366
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 4: and symmetry, symmetrical semetry.

367
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 1: I fucking missed the god damn it and nollen.

368
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 4: Taking a welcome to traffic talk with a mentally ill person.

369
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:35,160
Speaker 4: I'll be your host and guest and featured commentator, Chris Fairbanks.

370
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna take him right here on Rowena, Rowena.

371
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 1: A lot of people do joke about that.

372
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 4: I don't don't feel comfortable doing jokes about ethnic sounding names.

373
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 4: I don't think that's funny and I don't feel comfortable

374
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 4: doing it. Incidentally, if you are a black person, you

375
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 4: should move to Philadelphia.

376
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: I spent some time there last weekend.

377
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 4: I was working at Helium and what a what a

378
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 4: cool town for black people? And I don't I don't

379
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,479
Speaker 4: know of that if I have the right to say that,

380
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 4: but it is everyone. I had the best interactions there

381
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,679
Speaker 4: with everyone, and all you know, I'm like most thirty

382
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 4: something white dudes that were born in Montana. I just

383
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 4: want the approval of like an older black man, like

384
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 4: a with a cane and a sweater that just, you know,

385
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,479
Speaker 4: looks like he could have been my grandpa had it

386
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 4: not been for some genetic you know situations. And uh,

387
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 4: just had some great talks.

388
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 1: And I had a good time there.

389
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 4: I like I like Philly as far as when they're

390
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 4: all in a group together and uh listening to my jokes.

391
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like him as much. I'll be honest.

392
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,360
Speaker 4: It looks like New York, but it's not new It's

393
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 4: New York of New York hated art of any kind.

394
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: But you know, it was a It's.

395
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 4: Cool to be there where all the Declaration of Independence

396
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 4: and all that was signed. Okay, I have no idea

397
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 4: where I am. Are you fucking kidding me? Okay, No,

398
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 4: here we go. They're giving me a second chance. I

399
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 4: just basically did. I'm back on Los Felis Boulevard. I'm

400
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 4: gonna be late for my show. It's funny that while

401
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 4: that happened. Isn't that funny how life is? I was

402
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 4: making light of the fact that I might be late,

403
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 4: and it distracted me.

404
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 1: And now I'm gonna be late because of all my

405
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 1: light making.

406
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 4: And that's the thing about driving. You gotta pay attention

407
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 4: to the room. I have a feeling I'm making weird

408
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 4: noises with rubbing the I have a law which they

409
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,880
Speaker 4: in the business is known as a clip on microphone.

410
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 4: And then, on top of that, because I'm professional and

411
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 4: listening to the sound quality through some earphones, those cords

412
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 4: of those two items have become entangled, affecting the sound

413
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 4: owned and possibly the power source. I'm not sure about

414
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 4: the power source, but it's definitely there's a rubbing and

415
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:06,199
Speaker 4: you can hear that.

416
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,960
Speaker 1: Hear that. Yeah, that's not good. Hey, I'm not some boom.

417
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 4: Operator, boom operator coat.

418
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 1: Ohh okay there?

419
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,719
Speaker 4: Why is it every time I express myself alone in

420
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 4: my car, some cop as they are like staring at me.

421
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: Well, at least he works for the city, is what

422
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 1: he'll say.

423
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 4: Not'll be like, yeah, look at me. Look at these hands.

424
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 4: I've been working. I've been working for the city for you.

425
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 4: Look at my fingers look like ginger root. You want

426
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 4: to fucking hell? Long have I been in Philly?

427
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: Fuck that city.

428
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 4: But it's funny though, because my fingers I've as I

429
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 4: get older, my fingers look more and more like a

430
00:24:55,200 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 4: professional geisha. It's just soft, pale and uh and okay,

431
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 4: I really have to pay attention. Here we go, Do

432
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 4: not cut me off or I will knife you. Okay,

433
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 4: here we go, and I'm taking a right sack down

434
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 4: the Airy Impact Way? Am I going to Sacramento? What

435
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 4: the fuck is this?

436
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: Well? Trust the trust the app again?

437
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 4: You're listening to do you need a ride with Chris

438
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 4: Fairbanks and Karen Gaff? Karen couldn't be here. Uh, probably

439
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 4: because she's upset that I can't fucking say her name.

440
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 4: And uh we are sponsored by Ways the application that

441
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 4: gets you there colon. I don't know why they put

442
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 4: the colon at the end. They they should be in

443
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 4: the middle of their slogan or their logo slogan.

444
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: Okay, I think I'm on the right track now. Yep,

445
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 1: ol of AV.

446
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 4: That's always good when you're in Burbank. You aren't in

447
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 4: Burbank unless.

448
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 1: You're on olive AV.

449
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 4: I've always said that, and I think it would be

450
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 4: a top selling shirt in that area. Let's be honest.

451
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 4: I mean that you're only gonna sell that shirt on

452
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 4: ol of AV. But I'm buying. I mean I'm selling.

453
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 4: I'll buy. I probably won't sell a lot of my Uh,

454
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 4: you're not in Burbank unless you're on olive av unquote

455
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 4: T shirts, so I'll probably have.

456
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 1: To buy them.

457
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 4: And so I'm buying and selling. Basically, I'm in the

458
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 4: wholesale business. Now know how that works. But I think

459
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 4: you have to have a warehouse and know someone that

460
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 4: breaks legs for a living. Yeah, I work in wholesale.

461
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 4: Maybe you'd like to have a shipment of your kneecaps.

462
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: At the bottom of the ocean.

463
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 4: You you you jerks? Lost character when I said jerk

464
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 4: that would I'd certainly say something harsher, but hey, don't

465
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 4: point your fingers at me. I didn't watch that Sopranos

466
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 4: you all love so goddamn much.

467
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's be honest. I did.

468
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 4: I just tapered off at the end. Hey, how are

469
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 4: you big murderers of the road. That's what my mom

470
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 4: used to call eighteen wheelers. I thought that was a

471
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 4: little harsh. They're just trying to make a living, Mom.

472
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 4: They're hauling cherries or.

473
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 1: Rocket fuel.

474
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 4: You know that doesn't make them a murderer. It gives

475
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 4: them the tools to murder. I mean, have you ever

476
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 4: choked on a cherry pit? You think it's the end?

477
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:28,120
Speaker 4: And also, rocket fuel can be dangerous. Okay, we are approaching.

478
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 4: This is going well one thirty four. Okay, no, I'm

479
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 4: ignoring that. You're right, You're right to have chimed in.

480
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 4: Thank you head voice. And here we go that guy. Oh,

481
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,479
Speaker 4: it's so funny because I mentioned that. And there is

482
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 4: a truck that has oil drums pouring out that is

483
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 4: literally either covering illegal oil dumpage or bodies.

484
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: There's bodies in there. Oh my goodness, I am so lost.

485
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 1: Fuck this noise? How am I what? No?

486
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 4: Oh? Kiss, I don't know where I am. All right,

487
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 4: it's funny. I don't know how I survived back when

488
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 4: it was like, you know, opening up at Thomas Guide

489
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 4: in this city, because.

490
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: It's difficult, it's difficult to keep track.

491
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 4: I just did the biggest Well this might be a

492
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 4: full one hour episode, and you know, I apologize while

493
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 4: saying you're welcome, because I don't know what you're thinking

494
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 4: or feeling.

495
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not a mind reader.

496
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 4: Incidentally, speaking of mind readers, warpy goldberge, I say warpy

497
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 4: goldberge because as a joke once I had my friend

498
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 4: Henry Phillips, who has been on the show.

499
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 1: He's terrific.

500
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 4: You all love him, he said, drunkenly in attempt to

501
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 4: say WHOOPI Goldberg?

502
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: He said, warpy gold BArch And.

503
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 4: I'm not going to drop names, but the car was

504
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 4: filled with celebrities, and boy did we laugh our tits off.

505
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 4: Most of those celebrities are you know, they're having gender

506
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:14,479
Speaker 4: issues now, but you know, you can't be a lady

507
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 4: without your flappers.

508
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: What if that's what they said before the show? Horrible? Horrible,

509
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: No one's listening anymore. Okay, gonna take Western. Oh shit,

510
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: guess who fucking missed?

511
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 4: No, no, no, sorry, all of all of is what

512
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 4: I'm taking. How soon did I forget about my hit

513
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 4: T shirt design?

514
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: Olive? Good lord?

515
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 4: Anyway, Henry uh I said warping, Oh yeah, I just

516
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 4: saw ghosts at the musical. That's what we're getting at

517
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 4: mind readers. She played a clairvoyant like Miss Cleo type.

518
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 4: I mean, in the eighties people, you know, there's there's

519
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 4: there's lines like oh he's pretty cute for a white guy.

520
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 4: Now that's offensive to all of us. You know, that's

521
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 4: you know that, it's just that's the kind of comedy

522
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 4: that was of that eighties era. But the musical, I

523
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 4: mean when I got over snickering at the fact that

524
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 4: people have you know, they have lines where they're like, oh,

525
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 4: this is going to be a beautiful apartment once we

526
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 4: paint the walls. If these waltz could talk, date have

527
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 4: mouths and say things.

528
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: My mother said, you know that it's so dumb.

529
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 4: Musicals, just the whole the whole concept of them just

530
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 4: made me laugh like a fifteen year old kid.

531
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: But then boy, I got into Ghosts. The musical I did.

532
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 4: It was and it sounds funny, but because it's a

533
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 4: stage play. But the special effects, I'm telling you, they

534
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 4: had like a mesh screen in front of the stage

535
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 4: and then an additional screen like behind the stage. So

536
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 4: during the performances, which as you know, it's just people

537
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 4: well standing on stage, and some of them, you know,

538
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 4: they were miked. That was as technical as usually it gets.

539
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 4: They project images and lights and pre shot footage, you know,

540
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 4: layering this live performance. So when they're on the subway,

541
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 4: they're showing footage of a subway car and it looks

542
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 4: like the way they line it up and the way

543
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 4: everyone shit, I missed, the way everyone stands on their mark.

544
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 4: You know, it looks like they're on a subway.

545
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: It was the Coolet.

546
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 4: If you live in LA and I know it sounds

547
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 4: funny because I went to it so hesitantly, and you

548
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 4: haven't seen ghosts of the musical. You know, don't go.

549
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 4: It's expensive. But if someone gives you tickets and then

550
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 4: you end up going accidentally, god, you're gonna love it.

551
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: It was so amazing. I loved it.

552
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 4: I was like, Okay, so I'll take it back, buy

553
00:31:56,360 --> 00:32:00,479
Speaker 4: the tickets. I'm maybe it's me not I'm just all

554
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 4: of a sudden realizing I might like musicals.

555
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: I don't know.

556
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 4: I'm not like a tough guy or something, or phobic

557
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 4: in any way, but I'm passing flappers. So I'm here.

558
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 4: I'm here, and I'm gonna find a place to park.

559
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 4: That's you've been listening to. Do you need a ride

560
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 4: with Karen and Chris. I've been Chris Fairbanks.

561
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: You know.

562
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 4: I think this was a good episode, and I'm I'm

563
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 4: gonna go ahead and keep telling myself that we'll be

564
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 4: back next week with a bunch of great comics that

565
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 4: are on the Atlantic Ocean Comedy Festival. Until then, this

566
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 4: has been d y n aar. Sorry, no, don't be

567
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 4: a dick, I'm just a fucking honking weird lady.

568
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 2: Are leaving you wanna way that?

569
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 1: Either way you want.

570
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 3: To be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you this

571
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 3: time and day, Turman Alingay, we.

572
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 2: Want to send you off inside. Do you want to

573
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 2: welcome you back home? Tell us all about it?

574
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: Rescared her? Was it fine?

575
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 4: Melcourn? Do you need to ride?

576
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?

577
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?

578
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?

579
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

580
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need with Karen

581
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: and Chriss