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Speaker 1: Oh, welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. It is

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Speaker 1: COVID nineteen. Addition, I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Well, yes, it is a new year chronologically,

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Speaker 1: and that does feel good. Yeah, fresh start, you know,

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Speaker 1: like an aging prostitute splashing a little seltzer on her

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Speaker 1: undercarriage before exiting a broken down motel and hitting the

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Speaker 1: streets the cold wind and an otherwise tired face suddenly

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Speaker 1: feeling fresh and clean. But I digress. Let's meet he

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Speaker 1: Chamis Shawi no particular order. Say hey to Craig Atkowski kacao.

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Speaker 1: What did breakfast look like today? Breakfast looked like raspberries, blueberries,

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Speaker 1: some trail mix, some granola, and a bowl with plain

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Speaker 1: yogurt genius, and a green tea with lemon and honey.

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Speaker 1: And how did it taste like? Ship? Oh? God, it

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Speaker 1: was off and cheese. Who um that little tiny voice

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Speaker 1: in your head that sounds like James Zeney now, please

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Speaker 1: welcome back James Heeney. He need dinking and dunk esquires.

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Speaker 1: Do you recall your first encounter with an attorney? My

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Speaker 1: first encounter with an attorney. I've never had an encounter

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Speaker 1: with an attorney and that's assented myself. Well, I guess

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Speaker 1: the attorney. Well, no, it's fine, let's I've never no, No,

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Speaker 1: I think everyone wants to hear everything you have to

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Speaker 1: say about this. Well, I don't know for sure that

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Speaker 1: it was an attorney, but I definitely went to court,

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Speaker 1: but it was with it and I and we ended

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Speaker 1: up settling. We went out to the hallway and settled. Well,

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Speaker 1: it was definitely the hallway because the judge was just

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Speaker 1: basically like, if we go through that, you're going to

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Speaker 1: have to deal with it forever. You think it was

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Speaker 1: to the hallway and have uh and then it won't

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Speaker 1: be on the record or whatnot. What did you do?

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Speaker 1: It was just me, honestly, why would it be medo

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Speaker 1: special Cee. How's week one of shaping up? Great? Great,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing doing what you do in the new year,

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Speaker 1: which is focusing on what needs to be done, which

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Speaker 1: is you know that some positive thinking, opening those health

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Speaker 1: help books again, going on those walks, the meditation, all

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Speaker 1: of it feeling good. A matter of fact, you can't

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Speaker 1: see it, but I'm actually levitating right now. Hell sh yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So following the Ted cruise example, I'm not sure what

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Speaker 1: that means, but probably yeah, not at all, and now

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Speaker 1: it's a tool sing. What's one of the oddest things

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Speaker 1: someone said to you after a live show? Uh? You

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Speaker 1: know the other guy is really funny? Hear that? Quite?

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Speaker 1: Did that? Really? No one actually said that. That's just

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Speaker 1: probably during pretty pretty pony shows, right, those other guys

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Speaker 1: are really good looking, and thank you thanks for coming there.

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Speaker 1: My my least favorite is hey, looks like you guys

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Speaker 1: are having a lot of fun up there. Um and last,

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Speaker 1: but take it up the manger if you think him least,

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Speaker 1: it's Joey Greer cree toe currency. Explain to me again,

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Speaker 1: please why your offer is best, because at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, you're gonna get a lot of offers,

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Speaker 1: but none of them are gonna be caring about you know,

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Speaker 1: they're caring about what your product is. And I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a career. That's why they just

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Speaker 1: want to buy you, and they want to sell you,

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Speaker 1: and they're gonna flip you quick. What I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: is I'm gonna let you stay on that panel and

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Speaker 1: let you sizzle hot, and then I'm gonna turn you over.

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Speaker 1: And about thirty to forty years, and guess what, We're

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Speaker 1: gonna have another thirty to forty years to make some money.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. They do answer I was

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Speaker 1: hoping for, But it is over. The answer is over.

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Speaker 1: Let's do it, damn show. All of our scene suggestions

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Speaker 1: have gathered from your listener emails or from our patron

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Speaker 1: v I P s to become a patron supporter of

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Speaker 1: the show and enjoy exclusive content and other perks like

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Speaker 1: yes video of what I'm saying right now, Just head

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Speaker 1: on over to patreon dot com slash Alchemy. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to submit a scene suggestion by a email, please

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Speaker 1: write to the podcast that your name here at Alchemy

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Speaker 1: this dot com. That's your name here at and now

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Speaker 1: First a message from patron v I P. McCoy Kentwell, hey, Alchemists,

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Speaker 1: I am taking advantage of my patron subscription to just

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Speaker 1: send a little message of encouragement. Despite what I'm sure

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Speaker 1: is the soul sucking nature of having to do comedy

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Speaker 1: via the Worldwide Web, You're definitely you've definitely still got

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Speaker 1: that zazz. Some of the most recent episodes are unequivocably

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Speaker 1: or however you say that among the greatest ever. I'll

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Speaker 1: refrain from a scene suggestion because you're all are definitely

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Speaker 1: up to your elbows in them, but do want to

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Speaker 1: let you know you still rock our socks up. McCoy can't. Well,

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Speaker 1: isn't that sweet? And by the way, that that's a

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Speaker 1: gentleman who purchased my workshop as a gift for his friend.

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Speaker 1: Oh there's no end to this guy's support and giving

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Speaker 1: and loving and hats off and thanks for letting everyone

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Speaker 1: know that, agress seriously, um, and thank you, McCoy. Seen

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Speaker 1: one comes to us from listeners Steve, who wrote, Hi, everyone,

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Speaker 1: you're all my favorite. I have listened to all of

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Speaker 1: your alchemy this true stories except for one. Yes, that one.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like you just made it up on the spot.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, I found an old article from back in

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Speaker 1: the day when professional sports was just getting started. In

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Speaker 1: order for the teams to be able to keep their

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Speaker 1: players that are offered, they were offered lifetime contract. Today

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Speaker 1: is the most important game of the year for your

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Speaker 1: professional sports team, and the star player just turned eight two.

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Speaker 1: Please tell us about that. I am tired from making

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Speaker 1: all that up. I don't know how to do this.

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Speaker 1: Thanks again, Steve. Quiet down, Quiet down, Quiet down, everybody,

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Speaker 1: keep it down to the locker room is not a

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Speaker 1: everyone's quiet, everyone's quiet, keep you quiet, please attention alright, fellas, Uh,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, let me put it in the locker room.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Listen. Um, today's so,

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Speaker 1: is he gonna come out for the game or not?

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Speaker 1: I mean we need a point guard? Yeah, I imagine

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Speaker 1: you want. Listen. My baby can't be out there anymore.

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Speaker 1: My wife is pretty piste that we brought him out.

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Speaker 1: We need to find somebody to replace. No. No, he

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Speaker 1: signed a contract, right, you just asked Edgar. Edgar turned

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Speaker 1: eight two yesterday. Edgar, give it up, Edgar, everybody. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But the difference is Edgar was signed, but Edgar was.

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Speaker 1: He's an adult. He can sign for himself. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: even there when you guys got my baby to sign it.

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Speaker 1: I can't even blue. I've never seen my babyhold coach coach, coach, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, listen, First of all, drop the my baby bullshit.

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Speaker 1: It's our baby. And uh, the game starts in seventeen minutes,

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Speaker 1: So let's go back to what the coach was saying.

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Speaker 1: All right, hold on a second, My wife and I

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Speaker 1: okay again, coach, coach, coach, Look, she's Oliver. Yes, please please,

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Speaker 1: let's drop the my wife business to wife before I

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Speaker 1: went to the war game? Which war is he talking about?

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Speaker 1: All right, listen up here, fellas, listen up. I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about I'm talking to YouTube baby, if you can hear me.

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Speaker 1: Today's just a game. Today's the Championship of the World game.

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Speaker 1: But I thought about this long and hard this morning

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Speaker 1: over my green tea with honey tastes like ship by

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Speaker 1: the way, I thought about this, and I thought to myself,

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Speaker 1: we have a secret weapon, and that secret weapon is Edgar. Edgar,

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Speaker 1: You've been an anchor for this team for many years.

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Speaker 1: I think I first tasted green Tea when I was

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Speaker 1: overseas and your friends with the locals. Here's here's what

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking. Everybody. We passed the ball only to Edgar

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Speaker 1: all game long. Uh huh? Give me the rock? Um.

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Speaker 1: I mean we should definitely get the baby and play.

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Speaker 1: I mean the baby needs to know how the game flows.

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Speaker 1: Although we should make the should we name the babe

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Speaker 1: baby or no, we're not gonna name the baby. I

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Speaker 1: I you know what, I'm on the bench. I'm on

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Speaker 1: the bench. I don't know what. Yeah, so sorry interrupt,

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Speaker 1: Uh I I know you're trying to motivate your team

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Speaker 1: right now. Can I have a moment on behalf of

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Speaker 1: the refereeing crew before before we get started today? Of course,

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Speaker 1: of course, Uh, good to see you. Uh look, you know,

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Speaker 1: all of us on the crew just want a fair

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Speaker 1: and honorable championship game today, and with that in mind,

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Speaker 1: we'd like to really encourage you to not play Edgar today.

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Speaker 1: I remember your face. I saw your face overseas when

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Speaker 1: I was in a war. I put a bullet through

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Speaker 1: his head. I mean, that's one of the reasons. But

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Speaker 1: I mean it's a miracle that he hasn't uh, he

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Speaker 1: hasn't hide on the court. Ref we should probably keep

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Speaker 1: the baby out two right, it's uh yeah, don't ideally

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Speaker 1: don't play the baby either. Can I show Can I

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Speaker 1: show you something ref I have. I have a name.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this is Edgar's contract, like that, I

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Speaker 1: keep it with me in my pocket. See here. This

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Speaker 1: is a lifetime contract. He is until death, but he

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Speaker 1: is eligible. He is eligible to play. Like I. Everything

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Speaker 1: of the league's by laws allows you to play Edgar.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying he's gotta die there. That's the way

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Speaker 1: he wants it. Get your popcorn high? How about a

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Speaker 1: popcorn for you and the missus? Can't afford it? For it,

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Speaker 1: can't sorry, excuse me, pardon me our seats? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: would you like to get a popcorn for you and

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Speaker 1: your son? That's my date? So I'm a woman. She's

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Speaker 1: already said that I was a woman. You've already she said,

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Speaker 1: you and the misses now you think i'm his son

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Speaker 1: over here? That you can't afford a popcorn? Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 1: But he also called me a little boy. I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: I mean, so what She's actually good? I'm making good.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's an honest mistake. But somehow you got

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Speaker 1: two tickets to the championship game. They say, do you

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Speaker 1: think I look like a little boy? Tina? Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: it's seriously. Are you gonna buy them popcorn? Or? Should

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Speaker 1: I move on to yes, I get around for everyone

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Speaker 1: in the row? Oh my god, yes, eight dollars a bag.

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Speaker 1: I know you don't just tell me keep a tabh

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Speaker 1: my god, hello, listen, um, I wanted to talk about

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Speaker 1: restructuring Edgar's contract if I could please, you gotta talk

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Speaker 1: to his agent. I'm just the coaches agents right right there.

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Speaker 1: If you want to, I'm his agent. That's why I

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Speaker 1: called you. Oh I thought you were No, No, that

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Speaker 1: makes sense, that makes sense. I'm just hanging around. Was replaced.

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Speaker 1: He was sort of moved out of the agency, but

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Speaker 1: still shows up for the free lunch at the meetings

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Speaker 1: on Monday. But I am Edgar's new agent, and we'd

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Speaker 1: like the restructures dealing. Dutch, hold my calls. What's going

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Speaker 1: on here? What's happening? This is the owner of the team.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to tell you that. Okay, I'll step away,

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Speaker 1: so come join me. Hey, Tim, nice to see Nice

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Speaker 1: to see you as well. What's going on here? You

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Speaker 1: need restructure? We need to restructure Edgar's contract. Oh you're

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Speaker 1: you're an agent now, okay, I understand. Yeah, let's let's

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Speaker 1: come into my office. What happened to? What happened to

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Speaker 1: the spicy must be just just yellow must year? We

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Speaker 1: got rid of it. So we got rid of Well,

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Speaker 1: how am I supposed to make it a spicy ham

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Speaker 1: and cheese sandwich? You're supposed to make it outside of

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Speaker 1: the owners off? Can you handle this? Dutch? Can you handle.

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Speaker 1: Of course, tell me, tell me you about the time

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Speaker 1: you met Pearl again? Who do I mean? Come on, Tim? Anyways,

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Speaker 1: the Dubuke Trumpets. We got a long, storied history, alright,

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Speaker 1: and one of the things we have is part of

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Speaker 1: our history is specifically for sixty years, sixty years he's

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Speaker 1: been playing for the team, his body is going to

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Speaker 1: hang in the rafters. I guarantee it. Well, it practically

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Speaker 1: is now in terms of how to keep him up.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just asking, maybe he skips every fourth game

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Speaker 1: through the first half of the season, in the second half,

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Speaker 1: every second and fourth game. Okay, we did, uh you know,

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Speaker 1: we did lose the championship last year, same page. We

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Speaker 1: lost the championship because your coach is an ass white. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's I mean, we can all agree that he's a

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Speaker 1: little rough around the edges, but I will say giving

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Speaker 1: the ball to Edgar and only Edgar as proving proven successful.

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Speaker 1: He's ready defined the term powerful. And you're not wrong,

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Speaker 1: I mean truly truly. Now look, I mean I understand

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Speaker 1: what you're saying. We want to we want to keep

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Speaker 1: them healthy for the playoffs. They don't call the elbow

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Speaker 1: for nothing. Yeah, healthy for the playoffs, since we all

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Speaker 1: know that's all that matters. So you give me what

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Speaker 1: are you gonna give me? Here? The owner? What do

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Speaker 1: you need? But we do need spicy mustard? We got

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Speaker 1: so I did catch one. Also, there's also only baked blaze.

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Speaker 1: Do you have regular on baked plays dots? Can you

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Speaker 1: handle this? Alright? Alright, gold diggers, gather around the team.

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Speaker 1: I need to talk to you guys about how you're

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Speaker 1: playing out in the field. All right, smoking field. It's

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Speaker 1: not a field, it's a court. That's basketball, coach you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. Okay. First of all, I just need you

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Speaker 1: guys to start treating every one of their players equal. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I can't but notice that nobody's going after the old

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Speaker 1: man at the court. Okay, set a cigar on your

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Speaker 1: other hand, it's not lit. I'm only smoking one of these. Okay.

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Speaker 1: They banned us from using brass knuckles like you really

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Speaker 1: suggested we use. We're not. They could be just illuminum

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Speaker 1: anything anything. You guys are just letting them run you

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Speaker 1: on the court. Okay. They passed the same guy every time,

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Speaker 1: and every time everybody's all hands off. Which one of

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Speaker 1: you wants to get a bump in the pay this year,

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Speaker 1: but maybe I just feel bad Coach, like the guys

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Speaker 1: like in his eighties, he's very frail. I feel like

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Speaker 1: if I touch him at all, he's gonna, you know, uh,

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Speaker 1: crumpled like tissue paper. Yeah, okay, me for a second.

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Speaker 1: Coach also fellas which one of they just want them bump?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'll take I'll take all right, all right, Trump,

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Speaker 1: it's look, that's a girl's a great first half. I'll

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Speaker 1: give it up for Edgar. Everybody, huh, quick, quick change.

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Speaker 1: I was in the front. Yeah, yeah, and that's what

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Speaker 1: you were talking about. What is that that? Well he's

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Speaker 1: eighty two, so it will be the Korean War and

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Speaker 1: only last two years coaching. Not for nothing? Can we

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Speaker 1: stop with this? Stop with what his Edgar's talk about

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Speaker 1: the war. Edgar is his own man. You can do

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Speaker 1: what he wants. But listen, we're moving away from mega

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Speaker 1: first second. This is who I want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: A game plan? No, no, no, let him. Here's the

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Speaker 1: game plan. Only the baby gets the ball in the

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Speaker 1: second half. Wow. Hey, I'm only on the bench, you know,

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Speaker 1: but I love it. I love it. I love it. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: didn't sorry interrupt again? Do you do you have a

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Speaker 1: moment before we begin me in the second half, everybody's

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Speaker 1: the ref give it up. That's the guy who looks

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Speaker 1: like the man I killed overseas. By the way, I

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Speaker 1: gotta I gotta apologized. First of all, Egger had a

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Speaker 1: tremendous first half. I just gotta plead with you, do

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Speaker 1: not put that baby out on the court. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: if you see this right here, this is a contract.

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Speaker 1: Baby's contract signed it for Life's starting him when he's

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Speaker 1: in his late teens. He's eligible now my most eligible.

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Speaker 1: Like there are so many loopholes in this league's by laws.

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Speaker 1: All right, kid, now listen right now, you're you're on

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Speaker 1: the scouting team, al right. Now, what we gotta do

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Speaker 1: is we gotta find the best players out there for

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Speaker 1: the cheapest amount. Now. Look, there's a lot of old

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Speaker 1: folks homes and we're gonna be canvassing all of them.

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Speaker 1: All right. Now, come on, let's see if we can't

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Speaker 1: find some talent that might not be on the rate. Really,

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Speaker 1: whenever I watch games, I'm usually looking for the people

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Speaker 1: that are coming out of college and have a real

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Speaker 1: good career. I just don't know if anybody really wants

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Speaker 1: to they're old, old, it's not cool. Excuse me? Are

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Speaker 1: you here to recruit? Oh? Here we go, Yes, sir,

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Speaker 1: yes we are. What sports are you looking for? Baseball? Basketball, Hockey?

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Speaker 1: M m A. I don't think he should do m

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Speaker 1: m A. He looks, he looks fragile. Give me one second.

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Speaker 1: Games like Jason, you're new to this guy here? Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is a moneyball alright, you're not Brett Pick. Since

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Speaker 1: I was a little kid, I am, I I am

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Speaker 1: a special list in m m A. Marvin mce arts.

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Speaker 1: That's a deadly ship over there. Look, this guy's get Look,

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Speaker 1: you just gotta follow my lead here. Look if you

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Speaker 1: if you got something good, then won't you start your

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Speaker 1: own program? Won't you start your own team? But this

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Speaker 1: is how it's been done for a hundred billion years,

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Speaker 1: and it's gonna be done this way for a hundred

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Speaker 1: billion years after. Did you understand? Okay, I'll just follow long.

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Speaker 1: But hey, baby, baby, look at me, look at me,

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Speaker 1: Look at me? Here? What baby does this? Baby looks

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Speaker 1: like a boy? What does this? You don't understand? God?

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Speaker 1: Damn it, sir? And sorry you same person? Sorry about that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the same person? Is it? Seam one? And everybody, Holy time, Holy,

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Speaker 1: I want you to do the baby right. I just

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Speaker 1: realized that. But the way you said baby baby is

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Speaker 1: not the way should name the baby. Should have named

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Speaker 1: the baby? That's my question. We're gonna name it? Seemed

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Speaker 1: to come from our newest patron, alt comaniac, Cowboy Dracula.

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Speaker 1: Thank you Cowboy Dracula, who wrote, Hi, hello, scene suggestion

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Speaker 1: a person on a job interview, inappropriately trying to explain

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Speaker 1: an extremely dis show should have salvia trip where they

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Speaker 1: became sent in wallpaper in several houses. He also added

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Speaker 1: that this was based on a true story. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: cav my Dracula, Gloria was my three o'clock? Is my

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Speaker 1: three o'clock here yet? Almost? Sir, you do have a

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Speaker 1: couple other people here waiting for the five o'clock interview,

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Speaker 1: So let's let's put it. I will let you know

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Speaker 1: when the three o'clock arrives. You want to maybe reach

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Speaker 1: out to the three o'clock and see if he's en

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Speaker 1: route before in the elevator or what? Yeah? Email, text,

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Speaker 1: herophone call, yes, okay, email first, I'll wait like Dodd, Dodd, dude,

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Speaker 1: we have a job interview right now. You need to

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Speaker 1: get down. Dude, check this out. I already know that

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Speaker 1: the people interviewing after me showed up early, so to

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Speaker 1: avoid any trouble, I'm just gonna show it five. Bro.

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Speaker 1: It's fine. How did you that I know this because

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Speaker 1: I am sentient and I am now omnipotent. Bro, don't

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Speaker 1: worry about it. I'm just making a cool flow over there.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna show up when they need me, not when

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Speaker 1: they expect me. Oh my god, when they need you.

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Speaker 1: It's oh my god, my friend, Oh my god, I'm

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Speaker 1: so fucked up. Yeah, I like to like to show

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Speaker 1: up a couple of hours early. What about you? You're

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Speaker 1: one of the early ones. Are your appointments right now?

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm not totally sure why I'm here. You're look

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Speaker 1: at you look old for this job, totally like somewhere

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Speaker 1: in that range. Yes, that's cool to school my best

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00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,680
Speaker 1: of book out there. They got some great magaz Yeah

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00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 1: it seems like it seems like it. Yeah, listen, I

340
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Speaker 1: gotta I really want this job, so I'm like really serious.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know. Okay, I'll go in there and

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Speaker 1: blow it so they hire you. Okay, um is is

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Speaker 1: a baby. Here is a baby here for an interview.

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Speaker 1: That's that's me. My name is Baby Johnson that I think,

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Speaker 1: and the baby the baby. It's just a description and

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Speaker 1: just pick this. Okay, thank you. We'll be back for you, guys.

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Speaker 1: But she didn't say baby in the rotic way you

348
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Speaker 1: would normally say confusing Dodd doud. It's four fun, man,

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Speaker 1: you got ten minutes to get there, Oh ship, I

350
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Speaker 1: will striking time. Oh could you drive? Can you drive me?

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Speaker 1: Because I won't be able to find parking just driving

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Speaker 1: for the front. Are you gonna wear that that carpet

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Speaker 1: or on your neck like that? This isn't a carpet,

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Speaker 1: it's a chest dress. Okay, Oh my god, it's fucked up.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay. I'll get out. Come here, I'll

356
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Speaker 1: get out. Yes, you're saving me. Okay, I guess thum thumm,

357
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: don't answer. We're right here, okay, okay, thum thum thum thumum.

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00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 1: I'm getting anxious. Hey, guys, it's a card m your neighbor.

359
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: I just need to talk something out. Hold did you

360
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 1: give any any of the salvia psychic ability? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I didn't see. Oh, man, give me a hug. Give

362
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 1: me your face is smashed it. Yeah, man, I need

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00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:43,479
Speaker 1: to talk something out. Man, I go to the Okay,

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00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: this must just be meant to be. This must be

365
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Speaker 1: meant to be. We all did tell me last night.

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Speaker 1: Let's get in the car. You dropped me off at

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Speaker 1: the interview, and you can bring him to the hospital

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Speaker 1: for a Ryan glory. I don't want to talk to

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Speaker 1: a baby. Can you get this baby out of here place? Yeah,

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00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 1: of course, thank you. Three o'clock. Okay, fuck me my

371
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Speaker 1: fucking brother's niece. This is who I gotta hire. Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 1: Let's see what's on the internet. Look at the welcome

373
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Speaker 1: to Hot Hot Hot? Do you like to get hot? Now?

374
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: Do you like furniture? Do you like furniture? Patio furnitures

375
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 1: on sale this week? Just not what I'm welcome too hot? Okay, sir?

376
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 1: So you want me to install this app that will

377
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 1: let you verbally click on pop up windows? Is that correct? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,

378
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,959
Speaker 1: no problem, no problem. Let me just get that and

379
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 1: I will say that that might mean a lot of

380
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,439
Speaker 1: times what I'm talking to my computer. I'm also tapping

381
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: the keys, of course, so I'm doing both. But this

382
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: this takes a step out of the way. I could

383
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: talk without tapping. That'd be sweet as hell. Alow dot

384
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 1: but touch dot com furniture. Alright, Todd, we're here, dude,

385
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: he thanks. The job is already yours. You know what

386
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 1: I mean. You're what they need, not what they expect. Hey, pals,

387
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: we have better turn around and go home because they've

388
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 1: already they've given this job away. My friend baby is

389
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: in there right now and he's killing I've seen the

390
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: way I get this job. And I'm here for like

391
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: forty years before they make me a manager, and then

392
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: I spent another forty years really earning big. They would

393
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: happen to your friend's face, it should be convex, but

394
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 1: it's concave. Stay await, stay await, you know. So that's

395
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 1: that's the first thing. That's that's the first thing. Man,

396
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 1: you guys, Okay, all right, let's go okay, can you

397
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: show me where the interview area is? Oh? Hello to anybody?

398
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 1: Is this the Is this the place to interview? It

399
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 1: looks like we got ourselves a lost soul. I know,

400
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: I found my soul in Joshua Tree. Oh did you well?

401
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,679
Speaker 1: I must have slipped in through your wet fingers here

402
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 1: you're lost in corporate America. Do you know where you're

403
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: supposed to go? I was supposed to be at a

404
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 1: three o'clock appointment, but in my in my omnipotent haze,

405
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: I saw that there was early comers, and I figured

406
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: I'd be here at five because it gave me to

407
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: you at early comer, say yes, yes, yes, welcome you.

408
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 1: Now in the Internet, do you need dining room furniture

409
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: because right now we got a special with the guy

410
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: with the din the stand. Come out check it out. Hey, Hi,

411
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 1: Steve Um, I know you run the the patio furniture

412
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: Internet sales. Is that right? We said, all kinds of

413
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: furniture we got outdoor. If you recognize me, I'm dirty

414
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: Debra oh from touch dot com. But touch dot com. Yeah,

415
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: it's nice to meet you in person. Well, I love

416
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 1: these these these conventions. Everyone to pop up ad people. Yeah,

417
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: chamber of a good job. I feel like and I

418
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: don't know how the internet works. I just feel like,

419
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: oftentimes when people are trying to find my content, you

420
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: can jump in, and I wonder maybe we can figure

421
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 1: that out. My tech guy has got me in a

422
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 1: special pop up system. All right, when you agree, when

423
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: people verbally agree to anything else. I pop in as

424
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: a pop up, you know, I mean, wow, it's a

425
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: new software. So people you like seminars, we're having a

426
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 1: pop up seminar in room two eight right now. It's

427
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:04,239
Speaker 1: my guy. Hi, thank you. Wow, wow, Wow, that's pretty cool.

428
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,639
Speaker 1: Right yeah, my guy. He does a lot of great stuff.

429
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,639
Speaker 1: This guy, uh, you call him man. He'll set that up.

430
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: If you want your name, sir, what's what? What? What?

431
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: What's his name? Papa? Papa, the guy who sets up

432
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 1: the STUF Like guys named Chad, Chad, craig y nice Chad.

433
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: I would love to work with you sometime. I'm for

434
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 1: more information. Oh my god, I'll leave you too alone. Okay, baby,

435
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: did you and DoD? I mean, that's really the essence

436
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: of being you. Yeah, that's a crazy story. Man, I'll

437
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: tell you what. I haven't really heard much like that.

438
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: But right through that door, that's your interview. Are you ready? Okay? Yeah,

439
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 1: thank you guys. I honestly was thought I was prepared,

440
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: but there was a lot of things I didn't know.

441
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: I didn't know and now I know it's all in you.

442
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: You got it, DoD. Yeah, that's right, We're all your

443
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: friends through thick and thin, no matter what. Don't forget me.

444
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: Oh boy, how many of you were physically here? So

445
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: Todd's been in a comma for two months? Is that?

446
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: Is that what we're talking about here? Oh? Your friend?

447
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: You need to get your friend out of here, that's

448
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: for sure. Todd is the one comma. If he wants

449
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: to check in with that face, we can check them in.

450
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: But listen, we don't just let people hang out here

451
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: with concave faces. Okay, what what's what's the survival rate

452
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 1: for Todd? I mean, I'm so du I'm so fucked up.

453
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: Hey Todd, Uh, what would if you had your own design?

454
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: What is it you'd like us to do with your face?

455
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:55,719
Speaker 1: With my face? Yeah? Wow? Uh? Whoa? I guess what

456
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 1: I would want is a really long beard. Uh and

457
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: it would I would sometimes be able to breed it sometimes.

458
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: Stop you right there. The beer is kind of up

459
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,719
Speaker 1: to you in your face. I'm a plastic surgeon. I

460
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:16,239
Speaker 1: can do various things with your actual face. So I

461
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 1: asked again, what is it you'd like us to do? Well?

462
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: I'd like the little tiny holes in my face to

463
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 1: sprout out hair because hey, Ricardo, open up Ricardo or dude,

464
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: I just want to say, I know you're bummed because

465
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: Todd got that free plastic surgery, did what you're talking

466
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: about it. He's shutting out to you and honestly he's

467
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 1: spent all he's spent that whole free service. I'm just

468
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 1: getting a goatee. So it's like you're trying to go

469
00:30:53,920 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: last summer. We all agree didn't look. He tried to it,

470
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: just like he feels. He knows that he took that

471
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: spot from you, you know, and he feels he feels back.

472
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 1: Which way do you like your face to go? In

473
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: word or outward? Operators with inward faces are standing by

474
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 1: right now. All right, that's what we are toilets. We

475
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: got dressed, I got parish everything I want. Can you

476
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: hear me? Or not? God, there's ads can't even understand me.

477
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: I'll leave you to it then, So can I assume

478
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: that I have the job now? Well, he hasn't seen

479
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 1: you yet, so whenever you're able to go into the meeting,

480
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll be able to the side. You want

481
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: to just check with him to see maybe if I

482
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: have the job now? Sure, And if it was up

483
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: to me, you would have it. Thank you appreciate this

484
00:31:54,760 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 1: one of your five o'clockses here baby, his name is baby? Right? Uh?

485
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: And and what what can I do for you? And baby?

486
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: Do you want to see him for the job? Interviewer?

487
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: I'm right here, sir. You might as well gliom. Sorry, sir,

488
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry? Are you yes? I mean I hear you

489
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: just saying it, but I don't on the intercom? How

490
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 1: is it? The baby's in my office? Oh my god,

491
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 1: I don't know you just popped in there than coma

492
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 1: from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. Uh? Baby,

493
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: hold on, um, it's don't don't sit down. You want

494
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: me to stop. I think you weren't talking to me. Baby.

495
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: I can go back to it. Let me just let

496
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: me just turn off my computer for a second. Sorry,

497
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: Mr Baby? Is it baby? Mr? Or you know it's yes,

498
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 1: it's just baby because it's Baby Johnson. But the way

499
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: you're saying it is just confuse me a little bit,

500
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: Baby Johnson. So may I call you just to Johnson?

501
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: So we've removed confusion? Sure, sure, friends, we're not there yet,

502
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: Mr Johnson. I'm sorry. Did you call me? Mr? Johnson?

503
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 1: I don't believe I did Gloria your assistant? Gloria, she's

504
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: she's not there, so I have to start. Oh, she's

505
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: not assistant is the right word. That's good. It's not

506
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: secretary anymore. What is your name, sir, I'm Mr Johnson.

507
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: To Mr Johnson, I'm Mr Johnson. What's your first name

508
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: than Mr Johnson? Child Child Johnson, Johnson, Child Johnson. How

509
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: would you like the job today of being my assistant

510
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 1: and receptionists? Holy? I have to absolutely say no. It

511
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: starts at eighty five thousand dollars. I want to work

512
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: my way up. No, no, no, I want to start

513
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 1: even lower than that. When I say eighty five thousand,

514
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: I mean eighties seven? About if you passed us up? Wow,

515
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 1: Joles Johnson, let me put a in and you and

516
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: Mr baby Johnson my last was put an actual pen.

517
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: I never understood that. Saying Baby Johnson, how would you

518
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 1: like the job that Child Johnson is still contemplating. I'll

519
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: take it. I'll even fire your current assistant. I'll tell

520
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: you what you can start by escorting child Johnson out

521
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: of my office. Everybody gather around. Todd's waking up. He's

522
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 1: waking up from the comma. You guys really all shouldn't

523
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: be here at the same time. This is not good

524
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 1: as a doctor in this guy is still with this

525
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,280
Speaker 1: face and what's going on gut waking up from a comma.

526
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, tell everybody to everybody you know, all right,

527
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,839
Speaker 1: I'll spread the dude and that the rest of the

528
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 1: rest of the time. No, no, just totally seemed to see.

529
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,280
Speaker 1: Three comes it us from Kevin spelled with a QUE,

530
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 1: who wrote Hello, Kevin spelled with a K. First, I

531
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: want to say thank you to all the Alcamania for

532
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 1: bringing a smile to my face at least twice a

533
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 1: week during this dumpster fire every year. Okay, Kevin, let

534
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 1: a cue. I think you mean all the Alchemists, unless

535
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 1: the Alkamaniacs who support us on Patreon are are also

536
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: bringing a smile to your face twice a week, in

537
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 1: which case I would love more detail back to your email. Second,

538
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 1: I want to thank Craig for his little rants about

539
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 1: grammar and word use as a as a fellow pedant

540
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 1: or pedant pedant pedant, as a fellow pedant, I really

541
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: appreciate it. No, Joey, that's not what a patant means.

542
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 1: My scene suggestion is your take on animal farm, but

543
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: instead of animals, you're all talking plants. Thanks Kevin. So

544
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: we are mean certainly get water. How does this work exactly?

545
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: I mean technically, I don't actually wander as much as

546
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: my title might suggest, but I am thirsty as a motherfucker.

547
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to fill in the new guy. Listen,

548
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: and we're in the middle of something. You'll get water

549
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 1: when you get water. So what I'm saying is she

550
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 1: doesn't return my she doesn't return my guys. A question again, yep,

551
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 1: my question is will there be a lunch at some point?

552
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: You make your own food? Man photo synthesized. I'll can

553
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: make your own food. Yeah, I know what it means. Whatever,

554
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:31,280
Speaker 1: whatever this scalp for numbers, I got it, thank you.

555
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: So at night she like closes up on me right

556
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I want her, I want to get

557
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: I want to get close to her, you know, And

558
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: then in the morning she's like, she's not, dude, she's

559
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: not into you. What oh my god? What I know.

560
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 1: I'm new guy, But if I could wait in just

561
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: for a second, I think he's wrong. I think she's

562
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 1: totally into you. Okay, And this is what they do.

563
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 1: They like the control things based on information? What if?

564
00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: What generalization is that basically she's into me. I'm around

565
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: a little longer than you sprout, So yes, she's crazy

566
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 1: into you. Okay, because yeah, during the daytime, she's like

567
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,359
Speaker 1: opening up for everybody. You know. That night I'm like, hey,

568
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 1: you know, she's like, you know, yeah, listen, new guys.

569
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 1: I don't think you're too bad after all, A little secret,

570
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 1: please please please, Once a month, what happen we get

571
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 1: we get that miracle grow? What does that mean? It's

572
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: that good good, the good good. Now, look, I just

573
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep the property.

574
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: But you know, if if I'm able to do like

575
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 1: maybe a decreased installment, then then then I can. But

576
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: if not, I don't know. It looks like, you know,

577
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 1: you've got a week to pay or we're repossessing your

578
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: your arboretum. Please look, I can't have another one of

579
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: those disgusting stadiums be put here. Okay. The world needs

580
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: more nature into more sports, more sports coming in. We

581
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 1: need stadiums. Oh god, sorry, sorry, Stadia, Google Stadia. Okay, Well, look,

582
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 1: maybe maybe we can come into agreement. Maybe maybe I can,

583
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: Maybe I can give you some some drugs. I can

584
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 1: I drugs. I can grow some drugs. What makes you

585
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 1: think that I do drugs? Nothing? Nothing, I just thought,

586
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. Are you growing? Are you growing drugs here?

587
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 1: Not in the bank? No? Not growing him in the bank. Well,

588
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 1: I mean generally at your farm? No, of course not no, no, no, okay,

589
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 1: then we definitely can't support you on that. Wait, do

590
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 1: you do want No, I don't want. I don't want drugs,

591
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: right right, of course they're bad. Okay, everybody freeze. Nobody

592
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:58,919
Speaker 1: has anyone seen my baby? Oh man? You can't say

593
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 1: that in a bank. Scared. I just wanted to make

594
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: him I just wanted to make secar just shout. Security

595
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: guard just shipped himself. What the is? It Just a

596
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: typical day around here. So that's okay, all right, I'll

597
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 1: try it the next door. I want seeing the baby.

598
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 1: Oh my, Welcome to Macy's, sir. What what department can

599
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: I point you towards? First of all, I need to

600
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 1: know anybody here has seen my baby. I want my

601
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 1: baby back. Okay, okay, is there a name for the baby?

602
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 1: I could announce it over the intercom child child and

603
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 1: last name Johnson, Child anyone who's saying child Johnson, a

604
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 1: young lad child. I want to be back just a second.

605
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: This may not be a thing. Everybody, put your hands up.

606
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,320
Speaker 1: Put your hands up in the air, and I'll smell

607
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: your armpits. If they don't smell that fresh, I am

608
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: selling deodorant. Anybody you want something? The second? Just ship

609
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 1: his parents? Oh god, I think do I think that

610
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: scary got it out of that well? The sun's coming up? Everybody, Hey,

611
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: wake up, wake up? Hey, Sun's coming up. What's happening?

612
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: So this is it's whine breath to wake up. It's

613
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: a start of India. Yeah, I'm moving Indie. Please ship. Look, weeds,

614
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want you around. Okay's got weeds?

615
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: Is done for? I don't have them. They're here, we

616
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: are together now, you lonely, get your arms off of me.

617
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 1: Have you seen it? Manifested this? H huh? Trevor likes weeds,

618
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 1: gross trips making out with the weeds. I'm gonna shot.

619
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Little plants. Oh we got some weed. See,

620
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:25,240
Speaker 1: let me just rip that up. Oh Ship. Every morning

621
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: I come and I water you and I talk to

622
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: you to help you grow and let you know that

623
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 1: you're special because plants they you know, they're connected. It's

624
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: crazy how connected there, and they do have feelings. She's

625
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: so smart. She's so smart. But I don't know if

626
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be able to keep you around. The bank

627
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 1: is going to come and repossess the arboretum. And there

628
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: was just some way that I don't know, money could

629
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: grow on you. Then I guess I would be saved.

630
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: But it doesn't look like plant meeting. It's just something

631
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 1: we all do. How does this work? All right? You

632
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 1: heard her wish? Yeah, what's a No, we need to

633
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: grow money. She asked for it, she's manifesting it, so

634
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: we need to do it for her. Body who's in Well,

635
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 1: I think there's only one person can do that for us,

636
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: Marijuana Mac. But we put him down a long time.

637
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,839
Speaker 1: I mean, if we all pushed in and gave him

638
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 1: our miracle girl, maybe he could you know, sprouted them.

639
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:28,240
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, maybe maybe he could sprout enough budge

640
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 1: to to save the arboretum um. I don't know. She

641
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 1: said that, she said that, I don't know. She said that.

642
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 1: It's like it's like a stadium for plants. Oh, there's

643
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: a lot of sports right, sports, All right, who's gonna

644
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,800
Speaker 1: wake up marijuana Mack. I'm not doing it. He's correct,

645
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. He's cratchy as fuck. I'll do it.

646
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,359
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it. You're crazy. Hey, I'm

647
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: telling you right now. I don't want to do it. Dude,

648
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:05,479
Speaker 1: you're crazy. Now you know I'll do it. No, I'll

649
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 1: do it. I'll do it. Dude, you're crazy. Do you

650
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 1: want to do it? Hey? Stay back to back. I

651
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 1: don't want to do this. Hey, I don't want to

652
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: do this. I don't want to get what am I

653
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,799
Speaker 1: supposed to do exactly? Just just wake him up, Just

654
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,439
Speaker 1: wake him up, him up, it's every way he likes

655
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 1: to be woken. Yeah, big pat on the heads on

656
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: the head, bat in the head? Right? Whoa? What's up? Baby?

657
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 1: Who dares disturbed the sleep of marijuana? Mac? I was

658
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 1: confused you were sleeping? Yeah, yeah, I can't sleep for years. Man.

659
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: I thought with the sun guys on the headphones, maybe

660
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,839
Speaker 1: you were in another mindset. I didn't realize it was slumber.

661
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 1: My mistake. Hey, Mac, it's me Trevor. How you doing, man,

662
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 1: it's been a while. Yeah, what's up, bro? I've gotten big,

663
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: haven't I Yeah, you have to keep growing. Yeah? Thanks,

664
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: you're really sprouted all right? Um, you're just gaining some weeds.

665
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 1: Shut up? Oh yeah, leaves of three. Let it be

666
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 1: believe before such it more ties it more. Don't tell

667
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: him me me? Yes, um, crazy dude, can you can

668
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 1: you sprout some sweet bud so we can use that

669
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: to pay for the our boret um? What's an arboretum?

670
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. She said it, she said it, I

671
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 1: don't know. Well that's what I do, man, I sprouted

672
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: sweet buds. Wow, okay, and we turned that into cash

673
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: le Where your gos? Ricardo? Are you? Oh Ricardo? Look

674
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 1: at this sweet goatee. If you want me to fix

675
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: your door a door knocker, I can't. It seems like

676
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 1: it's not working right. And I can just putting a

677
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 1: normal doorbell. Uh, this is what carl one sounds like.

678
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 1: And I can put in a normal one that just

679
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: sounds like this. Hello, wait was it both of those?

680
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: Who was it? That's one doorbell here? Let me play

681
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:39,240
Speaker 1: it again for you. Hello. That one's quite confusing because

682
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 1: it seems like maybe somebody's sing you know what. That's

683
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 1: pretty trippy, though, I'll take it I'll take the ding ding. Hello, Okay,

684
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: here we go, all yours, there we go. Okay, now

685
00:45:55,040 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 1: I just got it broking, Ricardo, Hold on a second,

686
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 1: try bringing this thing again. It's supposed to it's that's

687
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 1: the way it's supposed to sound. Hello, Hello, suck it. Okay,

688
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 1: what do you want, Ricardo? It's gutillo. Oh great, great?

689
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 1: Uh look, I just got a hot It's a possible

690
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 1: salvia growing up the ar borutal. Is it salvia divinorium

691
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 1: or just like regular rold salvia? Oh? I guess I

692
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 1: was smoking it. Fun out. Okay, let's do it. Let's

693
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 1: let's get coral involved. No, let's get the whole. I

694
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: just want to trick you. I'll just bear you. It's

695
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: just a buzz to me. Okay, all right, let's do it. Okay. Well,

696
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: I figured I should see the arboretum for myself before

697
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: we take possession of it. Of course, I'm I'm sending

698
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,879
Speaker 1: photos all the sports owners around the country. Just see

699
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: if it's a good state site for for a state.

700
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: Good state, good state. Sorry I misspoke. Learn how to

701
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 1: fucking speak? You know, I got them money in the bank.

702
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: You have some goddamn language. Well, you've got You've got

703
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: a lot of plants here. Yeah, it's Narbert him. Okay,

704
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,439
Speaker 1: that's what I would kill him. We have to kill

705
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 1: him plants. I'm happy to do that. New guy. Put

706
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: a weapon in my hand, wemping in my hand. You

707
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: just use your leaves paper cut. Yeah, they're not that Trump,

708
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you. It canna be hard for

709
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 1: us to get you a weapon. What's this year Venus

710
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 1: flight trap? Yeah, it's a Venus flat champ. Well, I've

711
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 1: never seen one of these up clothes. Pretty cool. Be

712
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: careful because a lot closer it's a slow death for

713
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 1: a fly. But it's completely nothing. They won't do a thing.

714
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: So feel free to sep freezing Roy that ship and

715
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 1: put you open up his jaws like it's gonna strike.

716
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna stay back from this. I mean

717
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 1: I do have if you wanta check over here, I

718
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:19,959
Speaker 1: got some plants from Mario, from Super Mario. Like those

719
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 1: those are real. Yeah, so be careful though, because they

720
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: can those can eat you, and they some of them

721
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: do shoot fireballs out. Okay, I don't want to get

722
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: close to those places. Well that just take a look

723
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 1: for today's show for today about that, Oh fellas, I

724
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,879
Speaker 1: love each and every damn one of you. Let's thank

725
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 1: all of our alchemists please, starting with um the welcoming

726
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 1: back of Dr James Heeney. Well, thank you for being here.

727
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: And I gotta just say I've been enjoying listening to

728
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 1: Alchemy that so I wanted to give a shout out.

729
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 1: Uh it gives me quite a few giggles. You can

730
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 1: find alchemy that where let's see Spotify is where I

731
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 1: found it. Okay. And for listeners who don't know at

732
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: all what you're talking about, well, imagine like after The

733
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: Walking Dead there's the Talking Dad Alchemy. That is the alchemy,

734
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 1: this talking Dad and I this might be crazy, but

735
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:26,320
Speaker 1: I I've been thinking about starting a podcast called Alchemy

736
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,359
Speaker 1: thus and it would be don't do it all right?

737
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: I beg of you. Ok Um. Craig's concern early on

738
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 1: was having improv scrutinized. Would you say that any of

739
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 1: that is happening or is it just um fan boying

740
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 1: out as they say? James, oh me, I thought you

741
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 1: were asking Craig. I feel like I was. It was

742
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 1: it's not notes, really, it's just them noticing things that

743
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 1: even as a performer. A lot of times I didn't

744
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 1: even notice myself, So I get to laugh at not

745
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 1: catching something, and I also get to it kind of

746
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 1: sums things up. So I don't know. It's possible that

747
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 1: unless you're a performer, maybe wouldn't enjoy it as much.

748
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 1: But I listened to the episodes of things I wasn't in,

749
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 1: and I enjoyed it even more. So it's hard to tell.

750
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: It's hard to step out of your own mind and

751
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: judge something truly. What's the word, uh? Be objective? Objectively?

752
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 1: It's hard to be objective when you're trapped in a

753
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: human brain. Yeah, so well articulated, thank you, thank you

754
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: for being here. Oh we missed you, so James a

755
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 1: tool saying thanks for joining us, my friend, thank you, Thanks,

756
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 1: Thanks everybody. Good to see everybody. Would you like to

757
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:47,320
Speaker 1: point anyone towards anything in particular of what you're up to? Know?

758
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 1: Nothing right now, just hanging out, just looking around, standing around.

759
00:50:53,840 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 1: What was the uh podcast? The sectional um at that sunset? Yeah,

760
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: it's still out there and it's Yeah, it's on Spotify

761
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 1: and it's a film noir audio narrative. I think that's

762
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 1: what they're calling it these days, but yeah, check it

763
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 1: out for sure. All right man, Well, thanks for being

764
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 1: a Chris Alvarado, Thank you, sir, oh, thank you for

765
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 1: having me just um, just a human being. I'm trying

766
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 1: to be objective. You know what I mean. I do

767
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 1: know what you mean. Chris dash Alvardo dot com for

768
00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:28,280
Speaker 1: all your improv and other needs. Actually all your needs

769
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 1: can be satisfied that Chris dash Alvardo. What an exciting

770
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: website that must be. And thank you for furniture, Craig Dakowski. Uh,

771
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 1: on this UM historical day, thank you so much for

772
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 1: being here. I will say this about Alchemy that after

773
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 1: discovering that I want Alchemists of the Week for three

774
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 1: weeks running, I'm full supported that podcast an episode I

775
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:03,240
Speaker 1: was not in fair, fair and decisive. Thank you and deserved.

776
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 1: It was deserved. UM. And the the podcast Craig with

777
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 1: the holiday version of Craigslist, which I enjoyed. We're still

778
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 1: telling folks about that, sure, it's still telling them about it.

779
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: It's still out there as well as uh four years

780
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: of episodes from our from our vaults, inddo enjoy please

781
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:28,879
Speaker 1: and Joseph of Family Career, Yes, thank you for being here.

782
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 1: You for having me, you complete an utter lunatic. You know,

783
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 1: I'm just having these these brakes with you all, and

784
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:38,359
Speaker 1: I love it, you know what I mean? You know

785
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 1: sometimes your mind just snaps, and yeah, I'm glad it's here.

786
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm glad we have witnesses. Let's thank your engineering and

787
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 1: producer to the stars, Mr Dubin, and the fine folks

788
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 1: that I heart media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock reminding

789
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,839
Speaker 1: you to please be kind to each other. Um, as

790
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 1: I say that, there's a TV on in the background

791
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: with absolute insanity happening around the US capital and this

792
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: country uh seems to need more love than ever before.

793
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: So whatever you can do to remind your neighbor that

794
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:19,279
Speaker 1: they are loved and to relax the damn sphincter would

795
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: be helpful and appreciated. Also, when you go outside, please

796
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 1: wear a mask while you're being kind to each other.

797
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 1: And right to us your name here at me this

798
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 1: dot com, and thank you so damn much for tuning

799
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:34,879
Speaker 1: us in. Um that's it for now, until next time.

800
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 1: A