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Speaker 1: So I want to talk about this a couple of

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Speaker 1: broad stroke dating concepts. Like I was talking to someone

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Speaker 1: yesterday and they were saying that their daughter has been

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Speaker 1: like bread crumbed a little. I didn't really, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I guess I know what it means. It's like you're

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Speaker 1: with a guy and he's giving you a little scraps

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Speaker 1: along the way. Bread crumb equals you're you're getting. You're

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Speaker 1: settling for less than what you deserve. I don't like

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Speaker 1: all this terminology that girls create to justify what's happening

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Speaker 1: and that they're going for it, Like it shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: gone far enough for it to be a name, because like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know why women habitually settle for less than

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Speaker 1: what they deserve. Women habitually date down. I really do

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Speaker 1: not think that men date down as much as women.

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Speaker 2: I really don't.

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Speaker 1: It's like a blank I'm making a blanket statement. I

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Speaker 1: just I just don't because women like appreciate men for

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Speaker 1: being animals, and so then they get to get away

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Speaker 1: with being animals. Imagine men being like appreciating a woman

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Speaker 1: being a fucking animal.

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Speaker 2: Like it's like they get to get away.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's just such a fucking guy leaves the

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Speaker 1: toilet seed up, he burps, he smells, it, doesn't shower,

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Speaker 1: he's dirty. He doesn't call me, but he's just like

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Speaker 1: we're just such fucking doormats sometimes, like you can't so

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Speaker 1: breadcrumbing equals And for those of you who don't know

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Speaker 1: what it means, it's like you're leaving little things along

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Speaker 1: the way. So like you call a girl and you

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Speaker 1: go out with her and you have a great time.

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Speaker 1: You tell her how pretty she is, but then maybe

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Speaker 1: like you only call her on Saturdays when you want

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Speaker 1: to go out, and you know, like or you tell

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Speaker 1: her she's so wonderful, but like she'll be really you're

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Speaker 1: not ready for that. It's not hurts you, and like

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Speaker 1: in a couple of months she'll be ready for her

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Speaker 1: because she's just too good for you.

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Speaker 2: Or like just stupid.

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Speaker 1: Shit it's with booty calling and like disguising it as

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Speaker 1: something else. It's just like and we just continually habitually settle.

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Speaker 1: And I just want to say something to you. If

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Speaker 1: you're settling, you're not going to be open to when

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Speaker 1: something really good could happen. And also settling, you could

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Speaker 1: be settling even by not settling for less than what

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Speaker 1: you deserve. You can end up with the same person.

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Speaker 1: It's called this is where the we wei pad is,

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Speaker 1: and this is where it's not. It's called training in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, Like in my dating I've dated guys that

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Speaker 1: are so good looking, so successful, so rich, and they've

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Speaker 1: been with hot girls and can get you know, most

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Speaker 1: of what a guy wants. And I've said this before

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Speaker 1: where like I really could be into them. But you

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Speaker 1: always have to be willing to walk if you're not

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Speaker 1: getting what you want. It doesn't mean you torch the

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Speaker 1: kingdom and scorched the earth. It means you see if

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Speaker 1: there are any good ingredients there, like can we work

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Speaker 1: with this? Like is this a total abomination of disrespect

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Speaker 1: or is this like you know, a rescue dog that

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Speaker 1: needs love and training and a little strategy.

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Speaker 2: And so.

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Speaker 1: You always have to be willing to walk and not

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Speaker 1: settle if you're not getting what you need. But you

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Speaker 1: can also like work the program and you have to

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Speaker 1: create the boundaries in the beginning, you really really do.

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Speaker 1: You have to just let someone know who you are

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Speaker 1: and where you're at. You don't have to do it

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Speaker 1: on the first date. You don't have to do it

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Speaker 1: on the third date. You should always be evolving, like

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Speaker 1: if you're dating at all, if you like someone at

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Speaker 1: all and they like you, like if some version of

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Speaker 1: the recipe is there, if some ingredients make sense. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean you have to get engaged. Doesn't mean you

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Speaker 1: have to know what they want. It doesn't mean they

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Speaker 1: have to be who you want them to be, because

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Speaker 1: you have to truly accept someone. And adjustments should be

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Speaker 1: made in every dynamic. Adjustments. Some it's not even sacrifices,

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Speaker 1: like effort, intention, But overall, if you have good ingredients,

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Speaker 1: your internal rule should be the ball is moving forward.

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Speaker 1: There is some evolution, okay, and that means like you

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Speaker 1: don't want to take many steps backwards. You're with a guy,

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Speaker 1: he's really into you, he's saying all these amazing things

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Speaker 1: to you. You see him the next day for breakfast,

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Speaker 1: you spend the day. Two weeks later, you go out

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Speaker 1: just for drinks, then you hook up and then he

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Speaker 1: leaves and like you don't see each other. The next day,

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Speaker 1: you don't do breakfast, and then you devolve into something different.

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Speaker 1: Or every single week for three months, which would never happen,

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Speaker 1: by the way, every single week, every single week for

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Speaker 1: four weeks. He texts you on the day of Saturday

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Speaker 1: a four o'clock, You go out that night, you hook up,

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Speaker 1: then you're not sure when you're going out with him again.

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Speaker 1: Every week is like gasping for air. What's gonna happen immediately? No,

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Speaker 1: it may not be that you're like glued to each

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Speaker 1: other's hips, but it has to be that there's some

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Speaker 1: forward motion, meaning next time you do lunch till a

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Speaker 1: little later, and next time on the date he says

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Speaker 1: next Tuesday. And by the way, if you're confident you

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Speaker 1: guys really like each other, you can stick.

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Speaker 2: The landing of saying what you want.

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Speaker 1: And usually it's not being naggy and not really saying

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Speaker 1: and it's kind of like, let's say you go out

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Speaker 1: with someone and then you kind of don't hear from

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Speaker 1: them between then and then the next week, and they

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Speaker 1: want to make plans with you the day before. You

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Speaker 1: have to say no. You just have to say, you

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Speaker 1: just have to I have plans, but say it would

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Speaker 1: be great if you know, if you'd given me some notice,

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Speaker 1: or you know, maybe next time after we go out,

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Speaker 1: we can set the next date. You don't have to

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Speaker 1: be a doormat and be a loser to say something normal,

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Speaker 1: but you have to say it in the right way.

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Speaker 1: The right way is not to like send a text,

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Speaker 1: is not to like start whining on a date, and

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Speaker 1: not to drink too much and bring it up, not

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Speaker 1: to let them know your true feelings like and and

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Speaker 1: show all you're crazy earlyer. The right way is to

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Speaker 1: achieve the desired result by being methodical, clear and confident.

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Speaker 1: I think girls are just doing it wrong, and we

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Speaker 1: really are just accepting I we're not driving. You gotta drive.

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Speaker 1: Here's the other thing. I was talking to someone about

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Speaker 1: this recently. I believe in manifestation and intention. So, like,

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Speaker 1: let's say you write down or put in your mind

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Speaker 1: what you want. You say, this is what I want,

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Speaker 1: and you decide you're not going to fold. Now, you

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Speaker 1: can fold on green eyes, or he was tall or

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Speaker 1: he was short. You could fold on something really superficial.

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Speaker 1: But you cannot settle and fold on the basic principles

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Speaker 1: and the fundamentals. Because what happens is chemistry comes in

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Speaker 1: the oxytocin and the serotonin, and you get attracted to

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Speaker 1: someone and you let all of these intentions and what

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Speaker 1: you said you wanted fly out the window. So for me,

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Speaker 1: when I entered my dating Adventure era, I said this,

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Speaker 1: do you want to hear my list? This was my list.

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Speaker 1: I want a man, not a boy. What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: It does not mean age. I literally I don't want

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Speaker 1: someone young anyway because I just don't want that for

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Speaker 1: a number of reasons, and we're going to go through

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Speaker 1: them together. I'm not an agist or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: I don't want someone young. I've been with young men

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Speaker 1: before and it's fine, but I don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: And that is a little bit of the boy thing.

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Speaker 1: And it's just women mature way more quickly than men, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, astrologically,

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Speaker 1: every way. And so a younger man, no matter what,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be a little bit like they just haven't

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Speaker 1: evolved at the same point as you. Because it's not

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Speaker 1: the references, it's not the music.

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Speaker 2: It's really just.

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Speaker 1: Like they're not mature, they're not as emotionally evolved. So

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Speaker 1: Number one, I wanted a man, but you could have

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Speaker 1: a forty year old boy. You could have a sixty

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Speaker 1: five year old boy and a forty year old man.

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Speaker 1: Meaning it's not about the number but I did not

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Speaker 1: want someone younger. I really didn't want someone with a

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Speaker 1: four in front of their age. I wanted a five.

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Speaker 1: But I really didn't want someone in their sixties, which

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Speaker 1: you know means on my window is not going to

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Speaker 1: be that big. So it's hard, but I didn't care.

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Speaker 1: I would have done it, but I didn't want it.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't the deal breaker, but I just like I

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Speaker 1: didn't want it. So I was really intentional about that.

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Speaker 1: I knew the age that I wanted, and like, I've

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Speaker 1: wanted someone in their.

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Speaker 2: Fifties, like that's totally ideal.

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Speaker 1: I have wanted a partner, And what do I mean

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Speaker 1: Everyone says they want a partner, So a true partner,

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Speaker 1: I think, like you're really in the trenches together and

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Speaker 1: you're really working on things together and you're complimenting each other.

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Speaker 1: And a good business partner, both people are not the

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Speaker 1: same and both people don't have the same skill sets.

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Speaker 1: I don't need redundancy, you know. I want a partner

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Speaker 1: that balances me, quiets me, makes me laugh, and a

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Speaker 1: partner in you know, I think in order to be

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Speaker 1: a real true partnership in a relationship, you have to

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Speaker 1: be going in the same direction. Like I've been in

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Speaker 1: long distance relationships and we have not lived in the

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Speaker 1: same place. But that's not the biggest problem. That's just

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Speaker 1: like sort of a temporary moment. But if we're not

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Speaker 1: going in the same direction, we don't actually want the

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Speaker 1: same thing. We don't want to live in the same

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Speaker 1: kind of place in the same kind of way. We

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Speaker 1: maybe don't parent in a similar way. We maybe you know,

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Speaker 1: energetically vibe differently where both people like to go and that,

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Speaker 1: by the way, this is different for everyone.

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Speaker 2: For me, I want to be with someone, I want

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Speaker 2: to go with someone. I want to enjoy them. I

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Speaker 2: don't want that.

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Speaker 1: Like separation relationship that people go through. Like he likes this,

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Speaker 1: I like that you don't want to be the same person.

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Speaker 1: But I definitely do like having a real partner. And

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Speaker 1: I do think ultimately finances become a part of it too.

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Speaker 1: If you want to be in a real partnership, I

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Speaker 1: think you have to have like either either kids together

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Speaker 1: or property together, maybe even a dog together. You just

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Speaker 1: kind of have to like unite on priorities and things.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise you're just two people wandering in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: I never knew this was important because I've dated people

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Speaker 1: who have really no money. I've dated people who come

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Speaker 1: from money. I've done it all. I've wanted someone who

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Speaker 1: is self made because I've never realized.

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Speaker 2: And again this is my list.

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Speaker 1: You might you will have a different one for different reasons,

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Speaker 1: like I want someone self made because I am self made,

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Speaker 1: and I like an entrepreneur because I am an entrepreneur,

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Speaker 1: and entrepreneurs need to talk to other entrepreneurs. Being an

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Speaker 1: entrepreneurs very lonely, and only other entrepreneurs really understand. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it's not such an accomplishment to work

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Speaker 1: in a corporate environment for years, or work in a

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Speaker 1: group with a team. All of this is great entrepreneurs.

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Speaker 1: It's just they're very lonely people. Because it's really it's

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Speaker 1: really it's really pop up. It's really startup. It's really

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Speaker 1: run and gone. It's really the rocket ship while flying it.

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Speaker 1: It's really creative, and it's really risky, and it's really

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Speaker 1: start from nothing. And I am a true entrepreneur, and

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Speaker 1: so it would make just like doctors like to marry doctors,

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Speaker 1: it would make sense that I really need an entrepreneur

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Speaker 1: because it's just like something that stimulates me and somebody

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Speaker 1: to talk to about it. And I also need someone

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Speaker 1: very fast paced.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: They don't need to talk as quickly as I do,

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Speaker 1: they don't need to run as quickly as I do,

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Speaker 1: but they need to energetically.

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Speaker 2: Meet me where I'm at, like, yeah, let's go. Sure.

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Speaker 2: And I don't want a babysit anyone.

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Speaker 1: I've sent people through college, I've had to be doing

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Speaker 1: college courses, I've had to do babysitting.

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Speaker 2: I don't want a babysit. I really don't.

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Speaker 1: I want someone to be able to be on their

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Speaker 1: own work a room, compliment me, not meaning tell me

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty, like, be a compliment to me meaning I'm

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Speaker 1: out at the Mets game, you know, in the owner's suite,

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Speaker 1: And if I bring someone, I want the person I

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Speaker 1: bring to be able to walk around a talk to

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Speaker 1: anybody there as I can or would without me being there.

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Speaker 1: I could walk in and be gone for two hours,

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Speaker 1: which would not be nice and I would never do that.

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Speaker 1: But they should be able to hang out and make

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Speaker 1: a friend and just live a life. So that's something

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Speaker 1: I've really really been serious about wanting. I want someone

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Speaker 1: who's financially successful, equally as wealthy as I am or

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Speaker 1: more equal or more. The disparity and income in relationships

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Speaker 1: causes problems, it really does. Money is such a massive

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Speaker 1: character in relationships, and if you are the moneyed person,

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Speaker 1: there will be a dynamic. There will be an a masculation,

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Speaker 1: there will be a power struggle invariably. I mean, obviously

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Speaker 1: everything has an everything has an exception. I don't really

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Speaker 1: believe that though there will be a struggle, something will

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Speaker 1: go on as a result of this disparity and income.

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Speaker 2: It will come out in some way. It can be

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Speaker 2: the need to exert power.

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Speaker 1: In other ways, it could be the need to go

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Speaker 1: have an affair because you feel inferior. It could be

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Speaker 1: a thousand things, but it will be something. It could

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Speaker 1: be being abusive because you feel like you're not in

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Speaker 1: a power position and you get to be in control

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Speaker 1: in another way. So I don't believe in that, and

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Speaker 1: I don't want that. And guess what the good news

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Speaker 1: about dating with you guys? You could judge whatever I

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Speaker 1: want or don't want. I don't care, nor should you.

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Speaker 1: You are allowed to want what you want. You're walking

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Speaker 1: in the store, You go in there and get what

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Speaker 1: you want, and what you need is markedly different from mine,

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Speaker 1: but that's what I want and to laugh, to laugh,

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Speaker 1: like all I care about is laughing. All I really

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Speaker 1: care is laughing. Someone who would get along with my

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Speaker 1: daughter or someone my daughter would like? You respect my daughter.

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Speaker 1: You know, she's fourteen. She doesn't want me to be

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Speaker 1: with someone too old. She has opinions on physical appearance,

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Speaker 1: like it's not her choice. So I think you got

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Speaker 1: to be intentional and write down exactly what you want.

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Speaker 1: What about religion? Does someone have to be religious? Does

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Speaker 1: someone have to be Italian? Does someone have to be Jewish?

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Speaker 1: Does someone have to not be religious? What about politics?

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Speaker 1: Someone voting for Kamalist, someone voting for Trump? Do you care?

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Speaker 1: Do you not care? There are many married couples that

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Speaker 1: are voting for different people.

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Speaker 2: But do you care?

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Speaker 1: Is someone close to their family? Do they have a family?

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Speaker 1: Is that important to you?

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Speaker 2: Do you care?

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Speaker 1: Someone might want someone not so close to their family

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Speaker 1: because they are alone all the time and they feel

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Speaker 1: self conscious and they have like live the life of

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Speaker 1: the family. You know, family dynamics can be serious. So

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Speaker 1: there are many roads to romantic rome. So oh, back

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Speaker 1: to the other thing before when I said it was

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Speaker 1: super intentional about dating I don't break the diet like

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to now go with.

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Speaker 1: Someone who's not self made, not an entrepreneur, Meaning if

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Speaker 1: you get really strict, it's much easier to meet someone,

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Speaker 1: even easier than when you're young and it's your entire job.

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Speaker 1: When you get older, you know exactly what you want.

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Speaker 1: It's so good to be dating in your forties and fifties.

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Speaker 1: You know exactly what you want, and most importantly, with

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Speaker 1: the exception of some physical attributes, you cannot settle. You

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Speaker 1: can't compromise on that list of what you wanted. It

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Speaker 1: will come out later in the wash, and it will

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Speaker 1: not be good. It will not be good.