1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. All right, we could be reading 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Buckle up and 7 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you. Here it 8 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: is Strawberry Letter. Thank you enough you subject. Does he 9 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: have a problem or am I the problem? Dear Stephen Shirley, 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 1: I'm married to a wonderful man that is thirteen years 11 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: older than I am. He is my everything, everything, and 12 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: in the beginning of our marriage, we were very active 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: and traveled a lot. Now it's like he's settled into 14 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: being old and boring, and I can barely get him 15 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: to take a walk with me. I asked him if 16 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: he was depressed and advised him to see a doctor. 17 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: He went to the doctor and got a clean bill 18 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: of health. We used to enjoy a martini in the 19 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: evening too unwind and re connect, But lately he's turned 20 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: to drinking brown liquor, and I've noticed a change in him. 21 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: He is grumpier now, and he snores like a wild 22 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: man in the bed. I have to admit that his 23 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: sex game is better if he's had the brown liquor, 24 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: but right afterwards he passes out. My biggest problem with 25 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: him is kind of embarrassing, and I don't know how 26 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: to handle it. He's been urinating in his sleep and 27 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: the smell of the brown liquor has saturated our mattress 28 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: and reeks throughout our bedroom. At first, it would be 29 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: just a few drops, and the more he drank in 30 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: the evening, the more he'd urinate in his sleep. He 31 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: would get up like nothing was wrong and the next 32 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: morning and I wouldn't say a word in case he 33 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: was already ashamed. By the fifth time he did it, 34 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: I brought it to his attention and he downplated by 35 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: saying he was too comfortable to get up to use 36 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: the toilet. I suggested that he go back to the doctor, 37 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: and he refused. He told me I could sleep in 38 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: the other bedroom since it was such a big deal 39 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: to me, Why would he ask me to leave our bedroom. 40 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: It makes me wonder if he's doing this on purpose 41 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: because he's lost interest in me. Please advise, well, he 42 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: definitely has lost interest in the bathroom for some reason, 43 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 1: and we don't know why yet. This is a great 44 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: testimonial for depend though. I think I don't understand anything 45 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: about this letter. I really don't. I think you should 46 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: definitely invest in some depends. I didn't know brown liquor 47 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 1: made your urinate on yourself. I've never heard this before, 48 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: and in your sleep. I just I have never ever 49 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: heard anybody talking about this. I think we're all, you know, 50 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: we're all people that have had that dream, you know, 51 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: the one where we almost go on ourselves in the bed, 52 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,799 Speaker 1: but we wake up just in time before we went 53 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: to bed. Some don't make it, but most do. We 54 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: weren't even drinking brown liquor. Was just dreaming that you 55 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: were going to the bathroom. And I think your husband 56 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: is just lazy. I'm gonna say it. I think he's 57 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: lazy and he just doesn't want to get up. He 58 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,839 Speaker 1: said it's comfortable in the bedroom. He told you that. 59 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 1: But I do agree with you that he wants you 60 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: out of there. I agree with that he wants the 61 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 1: freedom to pee in peace. Yes, so if you're in 62 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: the other bedroom, he could do it by himself. I mean, 63 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: I don't know how you could stand this for five 64 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: times before you said something. But you know, I'll give 65 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: you credit. What a woman, what a wife? I mean 66 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: not saying anything the next morning, you say because you 67 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: don't want him to feel what he already might be. 68 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: And that's ashamed. But he didn't sound like he was. 69 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: He wasn't ashamed. This is not normal, though, it really isn't. 70 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: I think he needs to leave the brown liquor alone. 71 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: And I think he definitely should get back to the doctor. 72 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: Take your advice on that. Get back to that doctor immediately, 73 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: because it sounds like something is wrong medically. Um. And 74 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: that's all I have for you, Steve. Now, now that 75 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: ain't it all. It's all this is wrong. All this 76 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: is wrong. It's a two part series. Before we go 77 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,719 Speaker 1: to break, I'm gonna give you the first part. Okay, 78 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: this is what my initial reaction to this letter was. 79 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,840 Speaker 1: He tired of her. M he tired of her. He 80 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: thirteen years old. In you, he's everything in the beginning, 81 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: very active travel. Now it's like he's suddenly into being old. 82 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: He's thirteen years old, and he is probably settling into 83 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:51,559 Speaker 1: being old, but just born and badly taking a walk 84 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 1: with your stuff that's something else. Then you thought he 85 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: was depressed. He went to the hospital, got a clean 86 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 1: billy him. He's not depressed. He he wasn't depressed at 87 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,720 Speaker 1: the doctor's office. He depressed what he at the house? 88 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: Remember y'all used to drink a martini. They're unwinding and 89 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 1: reconnect in the evening. See that that that that clear 90 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: look ain't getting it no more. He didn't had to 91 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: resort to brown liquor something harder than a martini. What 92 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 1: does this mean he didn't he tired of her? Oh wow, No, 93 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: I'm telling you this woman is not discussing a problem 94 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: that they have. That's a major information missing out of this. 95 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: I can tell by another he didn't just stop drinking 96 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:51,840 Speaker 1: Martinez and all of a sudden just started drinking Ian jade, 97 00:05:54,360 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: y'all with hennessy and crime. He'd been there trying to 98 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: wash it down with some markers. What y're all up 99 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: in the bourbon and everything. He's trying to forget something. 100 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: And he's grumpier now, and he snores like a wild man. 101 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: He is drowning you out. He don't want to hear 102 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: nothing you got to say at night or in the daytime. 103 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: Hang on Steve, come back. I'm gonna tell you the 104 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: other thing that's happening in the Okay, that was part one, 105 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: coming up, you heard it part two of Steve's respond 106 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: to twenty three minutes after the hour, today's subject, Does 107 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,839 Speaker 1: he have a problem or am I the problem? We'll 108 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:56,919 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, 109 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter. Does he have 110 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: a problem or am I either problem? Does he have 111 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: a problem or am either problem? Whenever there's a problem, 112 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: there's two reasons it's a problem. It's your side of 113 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 1: the story and he's his side of the story. Now 114 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: you're saying he was finding the beginning. He's thirteen years old, 115 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: and now he just acting old. He don't even want 116 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: to take a walk with you no more. And y'all 117 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: switched drinking from martinis, and he just switched over the 118 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: brown look. And you told him he ought to go 119 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: to the doctor because he seemed depressed. Docs sain't nothing 120 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: wrong with him. He's I know, it's just when I'm home. 121 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: He only depressed when he's at the house with hush shilling. 122 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: But he's pay I'm gonna tell you about that. Listen 123 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 1: to me now the second part it is, she say, 124 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: it's the most embarrassing. I don't know how to handle it. 125 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: He been yuinating in his sleep, and the smell of 126 00:07:53,640 --> 00:08:00,080 Speaker 1: brown liquor has saturated our match brown looking strong. You 127 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: put brown, look penicilla college, green juice, what ox oxtail, 128 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: graving and cabbage, and you got a funking mass on 129 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:20,119 Speaker 1: your hands. So when he year natan, that's another sign 130 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: that he's sick of you. Any time you roll over 131 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: and touching, he peel a little and just a touch 132 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: of your hand on his back. Now, you even said 133 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 1: the brown liquor made him better in bed, but as 134 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: soon as he gets through, he falled right asleep. Fella, 135 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: sound familiar, sound familiar. Fellas as soon as this over, 136 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: it's over boom. Now. Then you said he would get 137 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: up like nothing, nothing was wrong, But then it got 138 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 1: worse and he's started peeing a lot. And then then 139 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,599 Speaker 1: when you approached him about it, you brought it to 140 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: his attention. His is the key to the whole letter, 141 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,199 Speaker 1: let's hear it. He downplayed it by saying he was 142 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: too comfortable to get up to use the tarlet girl, 143 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: let me explain something to you. You ain't ever too 144 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: comfortable to pee on yourself. You ain't ever too comfortable 145 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: to lay up there and just pee on yourself. What 146 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: are you talking about? Brown ass? Man told you he 147 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 1: just comfortable? What you ain't that comfortable? You think, brown? 148 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: Look a smell it burned too. He ain't set up 149 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: there comfortable, laying in that squish your ass mattress talking 150 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: about it. He was just too comfortable to get up. 151 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,319 Speaker 1: He is trying to accomplish something, y'all. Y'all ain't listening 152 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 1: to me. He's trying to accomplish something. Ain't No grown 153 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: man laid up in that bed, peete on himself, stayed 154 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: in it all night, and got up in the morning, 155 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 1: act like ain't nothing wrong to guess what, to guess what? 156 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 1: To guess what? She'll five times to She said something 157 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 1: to him, and he said it ain't no big deal. 158 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,439 Speaker 1: And then he said, if you don't like it, go 159 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,439 Speaker 1: sleep in the other room. That was the objective the 160 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: whole damn time. He sick of huge, he'd have started 161 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: peeing in the bed. No, it's making her mad. He'd 162 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,319 Speaker 1: have told her, you don't like it, go sleep in 163 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: the other bed. Do that sound like somebody that loves somebody? 164 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 1: Or do that sound like somebody that's sick of somebody? 165 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: It sounds like somebody's here. Surely ain't nothing wrong with 166 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 1: this dude. But I mean there are many other ways 167 00:10:54,559 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: to get her out of the bedroom. Yeah, yeah, I mean, 168 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: come on, five. Yeah, this is disgusting. It is all 169 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:11,439 Speaker 1: of that. All you gotta do is just give me 170 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 1: another reason. I think he has a medical condition. Damn 171 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: medical condition depends is for people who can't make it 172 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,439 Speaker 1: to the bathroom, not lay up there and just your 173 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: nate on your damn self. He's lazy and that lazy. 174 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: Ain't nobody that damn lazy to put brown liquor pe 175 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: on your fat? He wanted divorce? U bro, bro, Why 176 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: don't you just ask for a divorce? Do you have 177 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: to pee on me to? I don't understand this? What 178 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 1: is going on here? Yeah? I don't. I'm sorry. I 179 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,559 Speaker 1: don't follow your logic. You don't have to follow my logic. 180 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: It's no logic to follow. How did this sound logical 181 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,400 Speaker 1: to you? No? This is crazy us. Why y'all pick 182 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 1: this letter? Just grown ass man sitting up and hit 183 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 1: peing on himself. We can't help him wet, No, damn doctor. 184 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: I think he needs to get back to the doctor. Sure, Lee, 185 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: if your wife asks you to go see about yourself, 186 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: he said, he ain't going back down to the doctor. 187 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: And if you don't like it, go sleep in the 188 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: other bed room. That's not a medical condition. He's sick 189 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: of her. I keep telling y'all, I don't know why 190 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 1: she's not sick at him with you in the other 191 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 1: room and he coming pee in that bed. He really 192 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: don't he walking there and be on the other bed. 193 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: He really is ridiculous. All right, Look, post your comments 194 00:12:54,040 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter. Yeah Steve Harvey FM and on 195 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: Instagram and on Facebook, And don't forget to check out 196 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: the Start podcast on demand. You're listening to this Stave 197 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show