Speaker 1: Forever, but unofficial experts.
Speaker 2: While we're here copyrighted. Don't steal that. Okay.
Speaker 3: Hey guys, Hey new people, old people, people who don't
Speaker 3: know why they're here.
Speaker 2: Just in case people don't know who we are, I'm Sydney.
Speaker 2: I mean you should know us. My name is Marie.
Speaker 3: And this is the Official Expert Podcast, a podcast. We've
Speaker 3: talked to people who think they're experts at things you
Speaker 3: don't actually need skills.
Speaker 1: But they come prepared though they got notes, They got
Speaker 1: to have people bring resumes and dry erase boards and
Speaker 1: you know, just you know what they think. The rest
Speaker 1: of the quarter is going to look like a lot
Speaker 1: of that. It's great and I love it to shut
Speaker 1: them down and be like, you know what we came
Speaker 1: You came here prepared.
Speaker 2: But we're going to talk about some.
Speaker 1: We just want to talk to some other. We just
Speaker 1: want to talk a bunch of eyebrows. Like let's talk
Speaker 1: about the out. Let's talk about the look that you
Speaker 1: threw on for this today, and.
Speaker 2: Your meal plan, what your fridge is looking like. Do
Speaker 2: you have a meal plan? I feel like you skip
Speaker 2: all the meal. No. No, I'm actually doing better with
Speaker 2: my eating.
Speaker 3: Okay, So the last three things you ate go Today?
Speaker 3: You had a yogurt. Okay, that's not a meal, cyst
Speaker 3: it's a snack. That's a supplement.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: What you had an inshore, that's what you're trying to
Speaker 1: tell me. And then before the yogurt, what did you have?
Speaker 2: Kennedy's Fright Chick?
Speaker 4: Great?
Speaker 2: And then before your hood fried chicken? What did you
Speaker 2: have before?
Speaker 1: I had a salad, a tuna salad. Okay, it was
Speaker 1: in a sandwich. I'm just trying to figure out what
Speaker 1: you think.
Speaker 2: Listen, we're trying to bring positive vibe.
Speaker 1: No same no, no new friends, same energy. Don't bring
Speaker 1: me down. We're on a new network. We're trying to
Speaker 1: bring ourselves. No, I've been eating more. Okay, you don't
Speaker 1: see the thickness and his shoulder.
Speaker 2: Had a yogurt today for breakfast and lunch. Okay, because
Speaker 2: I had Kennedy's Fried chicken last night?
Speaker 1: You had that before you want to sleep? Oh, you're
Speaker 1: gonna die in one of your dreams.
Speaker 2: Blame Larry Owens. Larry Owens, Yes, okay, thank you for
Speaker 2: asking me what I had? I made? I know you well.
Speaker 2: I made a kale sala yesterday for the first time.
Speaker 3: Wow, And you know, kale is trash to me because
Speaker 3: I'm black and Coli Greens is the number one green.
Speaker 3: And I was like, well, because I've had a kale
Speaker 3: salad before and it was like hard, But I learned
Speaker 3: you got to massage the leaves before you eat it.
Speaker 2: Did you know you're dating kale?
Speaker 3: You gotta like soak it in olive oil and lemon
Speaker 3: juice to make it soft.
Speaker 2: And when the leave's darken, you're it's ready for you
Speaker 2: to eat it. You're in a relationship with kale. Now
Speaker 2: you know I don't do relationship. Yes, You're in an
Speaker 2: open situation with kale. Okay.
Speaker 3: And then the day before that, my mother just discovered
Speaker 3: green juice and she's been telling me I need to
Speaker 3: make a green smoothie. So I made a green juice
Speaker 3: and it was so much work, So I guess I'm
Speaker 3: just doing salads now.
Speaker 4: How was the green juice?
Speaker 3: It was like I put kale, spinach, cucumber and all
Speaker 3: this other crap in my tiny like cheap ass blender
Speaker 3: and all the it's not cheap, it's you're it was
Speaker 3: free cist. It was like in a gift bag for
Speaker 3: an event I attended.
Speaker 1: It was cheap, but all like the gunk, like all
Speaker 1: the green stuff like is at the bottom of it.
Speaker 1: I had to like filter it out. You're an expert
Speaker 1: in in health. You're doing healthy ship now. No no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no SCE. I want a list of things
Speaker 1: that I was an expert for in the last two weeks.
Speaker 1: I've been an expert at a lot of things. Because
Speaker 1: we haven't been here for a moment. We have not
Speaker 1: You've been a moment. We've had to you know, we
Speaker 1: had to do some changes, and now we're here.
Speaker 2: Speaking of doing changes. I see you're not wearing a
Speaker 2: bra today.
Speaker 4: I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 3: We got a producer here, so you know, I gotta
Speaker 3: make sure the visual is cute. Okay, well I have
Speaker 3: on gym clothes.
Speaker 1: Uh, your your your your neckline is looking cute.
Speaker 2: But my del said, I.
Speaker 1: Work it looks very uh basketball loving basketball.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, thank you so much. Wow. When she
Speaker 2: went to prompt thank you so much, did she have
Speaker 2: a strapless situation.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was, but you just knew
Speaker 1: her chest was strong. It's like, damn, you definitely play
Speaker 1: outside of this movie.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Thank you so much. I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm doing better.
Speaker 3: You know, goodek, I was an expert at like I
Speaker 3: feel like improving my life all around.
Speaker 2: You know, I did have that green smoothie. You had
Speaker 2: a salad. Today. I ordered a bed in a box. Okay,
Speaker 2: a bed in a box? Wait?
Speaker 1: What you know how you can order a mattress and
Speaker 1: they put it in a box and they deliver it
Speaker 1: to your house and you have like unfold it and you.
Speaker 2: Can sleep on it. I did that today. I'm moving
Speaker 2: on to like bigger and better things for the rest
Speaker 2: of twenty eighteen. I love it. A bed in a
Speaker 2: mother fing box. That is so I'm overwhelmed. It's supposed
Speaker 2: to come tomorrow. Yeah, man, So I'm you know, I'm
Speaker 2: an expert at just like improve and everything.
Speaker 1: So wait, you're doing this bed in the box? Are
Speaker 1: you going to Christen this bed in the box?
Speaker 2: It's a I don't know. You can't be getting just
Speaker 2: stand on a bed. You gotta you gotta least sleep
Speaker 2: in it for a month.
Speaker 3: Since you know, you get it for one hundred days
Speaker 3: and then if you don't like, you got to bring
Speaker 3: it back.
Speaker 2: I can't stained with Christian jukes.
Speaker 1: So you have this uh like probation period with this
Speaker 1: bed in the box, and if you really love it,
Speaker 1: then you'll get the comestains.
Speaker 2: Got it.
Speaker 3: No, it's gonna be sheets on the bed. Okay, you're
Speaker 3: disgusting sisting. What were you an expert in this week?
Speaker 2: Getting my life together? As well?
Speaker 1: My taxes will be in order. They will be in order.
Speaker 1: Good news. Bad news is I need my birth certificate
Speaker 1: and my Social Security card, which I did not know
Speaker 1: where either of them are. So went to the Social
Speaker 1: Security office early yesterday.
Speaker 2: That was a lot.
Speaker 1: It's where the social Also that sounds like a place
Speaker 1: where old people die. Uh no, No, there was a
Speaker 1: lot of multicultural folks there.
Speaker 2: No white people were there. No white people was there.
Speaker 1: And the security guard was the oldest black woman, Harriet
Speaker 1: Tubman was the security guard of the journey. It's the
Speaker 1: Journey truth and it's something about an older black woman
Speaker 1: just reading people all day like brought joy to me
Speaker 1: but also gave me anxiety. She said, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: read it to you. I'm not The instructions are right there,
Speaker 1: y'all can't read. I was like espanyol better. She she
Speaker 1: didn't have a glass.
Speaker 2: She was clowning and it stressed me.
Speaker 1: They were calling numbers the whole time, and it was like,
Speaker 1: what's my number?
Speaker 2: It's my number, right? And I thought I had the
Speaker 2: right number. I didn't. And how do you have the
Speaker 2: wrong number? You know, like the wrong social Security No?
Speaker 1: No, no, the number to they're calling numbers to come
Speaker 1: to the window. So they're like twenty three, twenty four,
Speaker 1: twenty five. Ay, how did you have the wrong number.
Speaker 1: I'm dyslexic, so I'm there. I was like, I thought
Speaker 1: it was I saw it twenty three, but it was
Speaker 1: really a twenty eight. So they were calling twenty eight
Speaker 1: like so many time.
Speaker 2: And she's like, what.
Speaker 1: Idiot is in here that can't And I was like,
Speaker 1: you're like, must feed me. And so I did that
Speaker 1: and that was cool. Where's the Social Security office? I
Speaker 1: feel like this is stann Island.
Speaker 2: No, it's downtown Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: Downtown Brooklyn's that's cool and so and then I have
Speaker 1: to go get my birth certificate.
Speaker 2: On Friday. So your mom doesn't have this stuff, you know.
Speaker 2: I don't talk to Ramona like that.
Speaker 1: I did have it, but remember I don't live at
Speaker 1: that place anymore. And they took my stuff to a
Speaker 1: storage in Queen's not happening, So I'm just replacing things.
Speaker 1: They took your stuff to a storage unit in Queen. Yes,
Speaker 1: oh sis, that's kidnapping. And the TV that you were
Speaker 1: supposed to give me. Yes, no, that's not in there,
Speaker 1: so that's not somebody no, no, no else, I got it.
Speaker 1: So yes, I'm doing that. And then I've been riding
Speaker 1: my bike. That has been exhilarating because word of the
Speaker 1: days exhilarating because last summer I rode my bike everywhere
Speaker 1: and I realized I needed to be drunk and high
Speaker 1: to have.
Speaker 2: The energy to do it.
Speaker 1: I've been struggling on this bike for days, and people
Speaker 1: have been drunk and drunk and high at the same time.
Speaker 2: Time. Oh memo, wow, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So now I'm on the bike sober as hell and
Speaker 1: it sucks and people are while I'm riding, They're.
Speaker 2: Like, are you okay? And I'm like, I'm fine, and
Speaker 2: then I look at myself and I'm like, i am
Speaker 2: not okay.
Speaker 1: Well, before we introduce our guests, tell us what is
Speaker 1: the sober bike uniform?
Speaker 2: What are you wearing on this bike? I'm looking cute.
Speaker 2: I got like some color, coordination, type situation.
Speaker 1: No, if I have a blue shirt on, I got
Speaker 1: my blue sun sunglasses, I got a little shorts, I
Speaker 1: got sneakers that matches.
Speaker 2: Are you wearing a bra?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Okay, that's what the listeners wanted to hear.
Speaker 1: Not nips are out and you would be surprised. How
Speaker 1: many dudes think I'm selling ass on a bike?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: It's why would I sell dank pussy on a bike?
Speaker 1: Because it's very dank in summertime. It's dank and stank,
Speaker 1: dank and stank, some people like it. The speaking of
Speaker 1: dank and stank our guest is not that of.
Speaker 2: Dank and stank. Our guest is that I'm super excited
Speaker 2: our nou yur oal guest. Yes, I know.
Speaker 1: Bank may Main is an all around jack of all trades,
Speaker 1: right you you're incredible performer? Yes, comedians, fashion icon, fashion icon. Yes,
Speaker 1: give it up for our hosting expert Peter Smith.
Speaker 4: Hi, Peter, Peter, I'm great.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, are you high?
Speaker 4: I'm a little hungover, okay, and a little high hungover,
Speaker 4: which people say you can't do, but you can feel it.
Speaker 2: The next one cotton mouth.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you have too many bong rips, it kind
Speaker 4: of ends up lingering. The next morning, we're.
Speaker 2: Still doing that.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm still doing it. It was my birthday yesterday.
Speaker 4: I had birthday. Thank you.
Speaker 2: Bond Rips are like the whitest thing that.
Speaker 4: You can exactly with a big white tea slides with
Speaker 4: socks on. That's at home.
Speaker 1: That socks is pretty black, Yes it is, but bon
Speaker 1: rips is definitely way.
Speaker 4: Bond Rips is definitely what with some Planet Earth playing
Speaker 4: on the flat screen TV.
Speaker 1: I feel like the thing that I learned recently is
Speaker 1: you can smoke weed and then drink.
Speaker 3: But if you drink first and then smoke weed, it's
Speaker 3: not going to be a good feeling.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 4: I try not to mix, never mix, never worry with poisons.
Speaker 2: Drinking and edibles is a no go.
Speaker 1: I had red wine and then a birthday cake that
Speaker 1: was filled with weed. When I tell you, I was
Speaker 1: on that toilet saying all types of lords and Jesus
Speaker 1: and please throw up. And then it was an outer
Speaker 1: body experience because I'm so high and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: looking at myself. I'm picturing myself on I see myself
Speaker 1: on the toilet. I'm looking at myself throwing up, and
Speaker 1: it's like, but you are the one throwing up.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was a few months ago when I was in LA.
Speaker 3: I was hanging out with this dude who I was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: he likes me, Like this will be fun, Like I don't.
Speaker 3: He likes me more than I like him. And he
Speaker 3: came to one of my shows. We drank a little,
Speaker 3: then went back to his house. He was like, oh,
Speaker 3: do you want to take a bond rip?
Speaker 2: Did it?
Speaker 3: Coughing all over the place so high that I went
Speaker 3: to the bathroom, sat on his toilet, so you know
Speaker 3: I was high because I don't sit on anybody's toilets.
Speaker 3: Sat on his toilet, fell asleep toilet, woke up.
Speaker 2: I don't even know how long later, and that was
Speaker 2: this story. I didn't even hear this.
Speaker 1: Oh the dog was outside scratching the door. I think
Speaker 1: the dog thought I died. And then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: he thinks I'm in here taking a dump. And I
Speaker 1: came out and was like I gotta go home. He
Speaker 1: was like, I think you better.
Speaker 4: Then he was like, yeah, Peter.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about you.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 2: From why should people care?
Speaker 4: I don't know why people should care. But I'm from Chicago.
Speaker 4: My family we moved to Montana, so I'm from the mountains.
Speaker 4: That's home. It was just there this past week. It's gorgeous.
Speaker 4: The people are spooky as hell. Has to drive past
Speaker 4: a gigantic Trump sign to get into my parents.
Speaker 2: What does the sign say.
Speaker 4: It's a it's not even a sign, it's a flag.
Speaker 4: The guy that lives in front of my parents, we
Speaker 4: share the same like long windy road, and he has
Speaker 4: this flagpole with a comedic sized American flag, and then
Speaker 4: above it he's put a comedic sized flag which is
Speaker 4: just all black with white capital letters that says Trump
Speaker 4: waving in the wind.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: So I spat on his lawn a few times, clicked
Speaker 4: him off a few times when he was in the driveway.
Speaker 4: You know, you gotta just kind of pay it forward. Okay,
Speaker 4: So that's where I'm from.
Speaker 2: Okay, So what is something about Montana that you can
Speaker 2: tell us that we don't know? Literally anything?
Speaker 4: You can literally anything you can. I think you can
Speaker 4: imagine most of it. Whatever you can imagine in your
Speaker 4: mind is true. Have you seen Twin Peaks?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: No, have you seen any David Lynch movie? I don't
Speaker 4: like the Yeah. Well, this guy's like capital W white
Speaker 4: guy who has Yeah, he's from Montana and he makes
Speaker 4: uh if you watch it, his brain is something only
Speaker 4: Montana could create.
Speaker 1: When I think of Montana, I think of like red dust,
Speaker 1: like dusty red road.
Speaker 4: It's there is that it's more like brown roads. And
Speaker 4: the mountains are really green, and there are a lot
Speaker 4: of mountains. But there's a forest fire all over the
Speaker 4: west at the time being, and it's really smoky there.
Speaker 2: I thought, well, I won't be going there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't be going in there.
Speaker 2: Are going to go there anywhere?
Speaker 4: You can come with me. It's very fun and very relaxing.
Speaker 4: You don't talk to anybody.
Speaker 2: How was the shopping? How are the thrift shops in Montana.
Speaker 4: The hit or miss. You go to one and it's like, wow,
Speaker 4: this is all from people that you know, bought this
Speaker 4: at the thrift store, like twenty years ago. That was
Speaker 4: purchased in like it's kind of garbage. But then you
Speaker 4: go and you find some real good stuff.
Speaker 2: Like a the dazzled jacket with shoulder pins.
Speaker 4: Exactly from some like secret rich lady that moved there
Speaker 4: in the seventies. So there's some good stuff. I got
Speaker 4: some good stuff from some rich ladies that moved there
Speaker 4: in the seventies.
Speaker 2: I follow you on instat and I know that you
Speaker 2: got the looks.
Speaker 4: I have a lot of looks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I feel like it's out of town looks.
Speaker 1: It's definitely not.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I by shop out it.
Speaker 2: Okay, you sports, yeah on the road. Also, your hair
Speaker 2: is blonde. Now I don't remember it being.
Speaker 4: Dislike very blonde. I did it production paid for a baby,
Speaker 4: production paid from my play. I was and they died
Speaker 4: a blonde.
Speaker 2: He's in Peter Pan, Yeah, Peter.
Speaker 4: Peter, Peter was in Peter was Peter Pan. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I thought Peter Pan was like a child.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this was, you know, but you're a different, different
Speaker 4: look on an old classic, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Okay, So tinker Bell was black and hadreds.
Speaker 4: No tinker Bell, No, tinker Bell was white and very
Speaker 4: very famine gay.
Speaker 2: But Peter were there eating black people at this play?
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, in the play, in the play, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: And their characters.
Speaker 4: Were in the play, yes, at the play. This was
Speaker 4: upstate at some at a college, and it was all
Speaker 4: I mean, you walk out and everyone's hair is so
Speaker 4: it just reflects the light back onto the stage. So
Speaker 4: just this glowing white audience of old people, of.
Speaker 2: Old people, just the light bouncing off their ring.
Speaker 4: The light bouncing off of that blue hair.
Speaker 2: Beautiful.
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's talk about some events, right, Like Sydney
Speaker 1: has worked a ton of events.
Speaker 2: I feel like for the last.
Speaker 1: I've intended a bunch of events because you know, I'm like,
Speaker 1: am you on the list is how much?
Speaker 4: No, I'm not coming.
Speaker 1: I feel like my birthday's coming up September twenty third.
Speaker 1: I love a themed birthday play.
Speaker 2: They've been so good every time.
Speaker 4: One of the past themes.
Speaker 2: Last year the theme was suits. You to wear some
Speaker 2: type of.
Speaker 1: Suit, catsuit, zoit suit, jumpsuit, a regular suit, jumpsuit, anything. People.
Speaker 1: Somebody wore a snowsuit, somebody wore bathing suit, like somebody
Speaker 1: had a suit of cards.
Speaker 3: People had suit of cards on it was like okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: and then the year before that it was fresh Prince.
Speaker 1: I feel like this year I wanted to be disco.
Speaker 1: I want to be like shiny.
Speaker 4: You look really good at a disco.
Speaker 2: You so much like just channeling Donna Summer, just do it.
Speaker 1: And I have so much crap with sequence and bill bottoms.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm ready, and then you want like the playlist
Speaker 4: is taken care of.
Speaker 2: So okay, so now where what we're doing stuff?
Speaker 4: Right? Already you're setting the tone, you know so much?
Speaker 4: A strong tone. Well the theme helps if you don't,
Speaker 4: it helps, okay, And it tells people like what to expect,
Speaker 4: what to wear, people should Yeah, okay, I'll do that.
Speaker 4: Yeah fun?
Speaker 2: So what what else? What other?
Speaker 1: What else do I need to have like a productive
Speaker 1: disco birthday party?
Speaker 4: Oh? You need uh tunes? Well, what's it? A disco place?
Speaker 4: You got liquor, you got music, Yes, you got fun lighting?
Speaker 2: Yes, oh see.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even thinking about the lining, but I was
Speaker 1: thinking about like if you got like streamers, if you
Speaker 1: get like colored curtain, if you get the.
Speaker 4: Bead, yeah, a bunch of like you could get a
Speaker 4: put some like powdered sugar, cocaine everywhere.
Speaker 2: No, the people, the people when I come to the party, would.
Speaker 4: Powder then just leave mirrors everywhere?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, for this? Wait, these mirrors that got
Speaker 2: cocaine on it? Can I do that? You're gonna get
Speaker 2: cocaine for the party? No? Friends, The sugar, the raw sugar.
Speaker 1: Last year, I started a tradition where I do Molly
Speaker 1: every year on my birthday.
Speaker 2: I would cocaine.
Speaker 4: Molly's Pretty Disco too, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: But I didn't really have good Molly lash No. As
Speaker 2: somebody watching her on Molly, I was like, this is whack. Right.
Speaker 2: She didn't pull a titty out or nothing, nothing. She
Speaker 2: did it and she's like, don't touch me. She like
Speaker 2: on my phone, I don't. Sidney was like super excited
Speaker 2: that I did Molly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she was like taking video and shooting pictures
Speaker 3: and she was just I felt like she was really close.
Speaker 1: To me, and I was like, please, just don't let
Speaker 1: anybody touch me. And we got that don't.
Speaker 4: Take that's good, you got footage.
Speaker 2: It lasted for like an hour, so it was not
Speaker 2: that good.
Speaker 1: But this year, you know, I got a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks to get my Molly connection together, so I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do it for real this year, allegedly listening Yes, thank
Speaker 1: you so much.
Speaker 2: And I was like, don't tell anybody, but I'm on Molly.
Speaker 2: But I said that to every single person at the party, so.
Speaker 4: We shared secrets. Always a great party A party.
Speaker 1: Wait, so, Peter, do you think it should be heavy on,
Speaker 1: like a party should be good, like with drugs and alcohol,
Speaker 1: or you could have a.
Speaker 4: Party with that. I have a thing like I if
Speaker 4: I have people over and I I do smoke weed
Speaker 4: and what you know, but so I will have some
Speaker 4: people don't drink, some people only smoke. And I'm always
Speaker 4: sensitive to that because you know, I'm always sensitive to it.
Speaker 4: So because I don't sometimes I'm not eating that thing
Speaker 4: or sometimes I you know, all get shit. So if
Speaker 4: I leave weed out for people, I always have to
Speaker 4: call my senator that morning. People are in jail. I
Speaker 4: can't be like, you know, the too many people are
Speaker 4: in jail, So I gotta wait, do it. I got
Speaker 4: a call. Wait, I'm about to be like everyone have
Speaker 4: fun off of this and like someone's in jail for
Speaker 4: this and we're just having a great time here.
Speaker 2: I feel like we need to take another step back.
Speaker 2: If you just leave weed out for.
Speaker 4: People, I do.
Speaker 2: Enough orders.
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, I'm an expert.
Speaker 2: Baby, literally the best expert.
Speaker 4: I'm an expert. You gotta leave it out.
Speaker 1: You just leave Every party I've gone to when the
Speaker 1: host is just so generous with things, it has been
Speaker 1: the best party.
Speaker 2: Literally just taking something putting it in your purse.
Speaker 4: Well, sure, if you want, you get it to go
Speaker 4: bag of coke.
Speaker 2: It's you. I did get a blender, so.
Speaker 4: You've got to get a blender. You gotta maybe steal
Speaker 4: a little weed from Peter's jar of weed.
Speaker 3: That's why well will be at Peter's house for Peter.
Speaker 3: Do you live with a comic?
Speaker 4: I live with Sandy Honig.
Speaker 1: We were there for a photo shoot with the mateo
Speaker 1: Lane and Stabros.
Speaker 4: Okay, good to notice it's a home. It's a home studio.
Speaker 4: We've got a home in studio.
Speaker 2: Where all the good stuff is that now, I know,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been at a party when and a
Speaker 1: guess was just like ridiculous with the drinking on the
Speaker 1: drugs or like.
Speaker 4: A party I've had. Yeah, people, there's if I have
Speaker 4: a party, someone always passes out in my bed, in
Speaker 4: your bed. One person will well I'll always be fine
Speaker 4: with and I will then you know, tuck them in
Speaker 4: for something. I'll be like you need water, Okay, great,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna shut the door. Okay, tap it off like.
Speaker 1: I'm you know, no, you're gonna have them with the
Speaker 1: your bed.
Speaker 4: If I love the person, it's fine, if it's a
Speaker 4: stranger that someone else brought him, like, Yo, get this,
Speaker 4: who is this? Get them out of my bed. But
Speaker 4: if it's a friend of mine, I'm like, oh, they're sleeping.
Speaker 1: What if your friend is passed out in your bed
Speaker 1: with their shoes on, I'll take the shoes off.
Speaker 2: What if they got their coat on.
Speaker 4: I'll be like, I'm gonna call your car. Okay, that's
Speaker 4: what I'll do.
Speaker 2: A pool, an uber pool. Maria'll be like, yo, who
Speaker 2: is this? And you're like, great, it's Sydney. I live
Speaker 2: the whole bit in the box.
Speaker 1: So I'll put you in the box and kick you
Speaker 1: out my house exactly.
Speaker 4: But if someone passes out, you know, that's always like
Speaker 4: all right, I guess I had enough stuff here for
Speaker 4: people to have a good time.
Speaker 2: He's like, well, that's a control a great host.
Speaker 4: There's always excess of something. I always have too much
Speaker 4: of something.
Speaker 2: Have you ever been at an event or at a party?
Speaker 4: Yes, about it?
Speaker 2: Let's talk about that.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 4: The first thing that comes to mind. I haven't thought
Speaker 4: about this in a long time was in New Year's
Speaker 4: in high school. Actually, that's a this is far check out. Okay,
Speaker 4: this is like the first, I think like I made
Speaker 4: a mistake here and I someone had like adderall, and
Speaker 4: I was like, great, New Year's up, all night, baby cool,
Speaker 4: I'm sixteen. And then I drank two bottles of red
Speaker 4: wine because I was like, baby, I can't feel this.
Speaker 4: I'm on adderall awesome. Yes again, the whitest thing you
Speaker 4: can do is take an addroll and drink red wine
Speaker 4: and look like a bloate of Justin Bieber for the
Speaker 4: folks at home. I do right now, there's a visual.
Speaker 4: And I threw up on my way to the bathroom
Speaker 4: and didn't make it all the way in. And this
Speaker 4: was with a bunch of like thirty year olds. I
Speaker 4: don't know how I got to this party.
Speaker 2: Ow did? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Someone brought me there and I was like, I'm amazing, ooh,
Speaker 4: adderall cool, red wine, awesome, throw up outside of their bathroom.
Speaker 2: What were you wearing? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I was wearing a gold a fully metallic gold French connection,
Speaker 4: like Bomber.
Speaker 2: Jacket French connection.
Speaker 4: I had bought it that morning because I was like, hell, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's New Year's I'm buying this and I'm going to
Speaker 4: spend all the money I got working at.
Speaker 2: The art store on nine seventy nine dollars.
Speaker 4: This was on sale. I remember it being on sale
Speaker 4: because I could not It was like thirty bucks. But
Speaker 4: I vomited, voomited it all over it.
Speaker 2: French connection, French connection.
Speaker 4: This was like yes, oh yeah, oh, I definitely got
Speaker 4: at Marshalls or I got a cold or something TJ's
Speaker 4: or something like that. But vomited all over that, vomited
Speaker 4: on my clothes and then just passed out in the
Speaker 4: vomit on their couch, surrounded by people. And I was
Speaker 4: like fully catatonic, definitely alcohol poisoned and just being like
Speaker 4: this is mortifying and sixteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's how Lauren order s Fu starts out.
Speaker 1: There's like a young kids.
Speaker 4: I've had enough, I've overdone it, and I've been like
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be fine, like often, but this was one
Speaker 4: of the only times I was like, I don't know
Speaker 4: ninety eight percent of the people here, I'm sixteen. I
Speaker 4: might die, but I can't move bye, that's the problem.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I got a good ass story. I got
Speaker 1: a good ass story. I was at this I was
Speaker 1: at this party. I was with DJ Clue. Can you
Speaker 1: believe it? Dj Clue Clue where's DJ Clue now, sis,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but at the time, not at this
Speaker 1: not on this podcast. But I was at a party
Speaker 1: and it was I was with like models and my
Speaker 1: friend from work, my friend Caitlin, and I'm drinking Patron
Speaker 1: and then somebody was like, ooh, let's do what's Bailey's.
Speaker 1: Let's two shots of Bailey And you know, if you
Speaker 1: missed the coffee Patron with the Bailey's Irish cream, it
Speaker 1: tasts like a little frappuccino.
Speaker 2: Sh yes, but that was.
Speaker 1: And then I had vodka, vodka and cranberry juice, so
Speaker 1: I had all those things.
Speaker 2: We're having a good time. They're like, let's go to
Speaker 2: this guy's house.
Speaker 1: This guy has like a huge condominium in Soho beautiful.
Speaker 2: So we're in the escalade. We're going there escalate. It
Speaker 2: was DJ Clues right right. So we're having a good time.
Speaker 2: We get to the house.
Speaker 1: The house is beautiful, Like I shouldn't even I should
Speaker 1: be I should take my shoes, my clothes. It was Prisine,
Speaker 1: if the couches were white. Everything was great. Everybody's having
Speaker 1: a good time. I black out and I start projectile
Speaker 1: vomiting everywhere on the couch everywhere on DJ Clues, not him.
Speaker 1: It was another guy's eton or whatever. They take me to.
Speaker 1: They take me to, They take me to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: The bathroom is beautiful. It's one of those like marbles,
Speaker 1: marb so nice shower everything. They throw me in the shower.
Speaker 1: They turned the shower on.
Speaker 2: Absolutely bitch.
Speaker 1: And you know how the hair situation was. It wasn't
Speaker 1: my hair and it shouldn't have been in that show.
Speaker 2: Was it a synthetic wid It was very clipping. It
Speaker 2: was it was like me in college.
Speaker 1: So this was so it was like it was package hair,
Speaker 1: beauty supplied, Beauty's beauty.
Speaker 4: Hair beat her.
Speaker 1: So another girl was like, we should take her clothes off.
Speaker 1: They take my clothes off while I'm in the shower.
Speaker 1: This is right, okay, I'm convulsing, convulsing in the shower.
Speaker 1: I'm about to die. And DJ Clue is like, right
Speaker 1: outside of the bathroom.
Speaker 2: You thought he was outside.
Speaker 3: He was inside holding soggy blouse.
Speaker 2: He was like, that looked like beauty supplies store hair.
Speaker 2: He was like that don't look like shoo shoot, new weave,
Speaker 2: new weed.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I throw up. They they wrap me up
Speaker 1: in a in a blanket. They put me on the couch.
Speaker 1: The guy was really sweet about it. He was like,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I thought
Speaker 1: you died. I was like, so, y'all rolled me up
Speaker 1: in a blanket. They're gonna put me in a rug,
Speaker 1: in a rug or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, throw you in the Hudson. That's how long order
Speaker 2: is for you shoot end.
Speaker 4: Clothes at ship.
Speaker 2: How old were you when that happened. I was like
Speaker 2: twenty four. I ran out of college.
Speaker 1: I feel like the drunkest I've ever the first time
Speaker 1: I ever got blackout drunk. I was also sixteen, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to get drunk. I was drinking to get
Speaker 1: drunk because I was like, this is gonna be fun,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: I'd seen all the team party movies Like I was like,
Speaker 3: this is I'm supposed to do this?
Speaker 2: And I was a black.
Speaker 3: Wood from my house at my friend Farah's house and
Speaker 3: her other just kept giving us shots of like do
Speaker 3: y'all remember smearing off?
Speaker 2: It was something like that, so cheap.
Speaker 3: So cheap, so like like fruity tasting. And I got
Speaker 3: real drunk and they were like, oh, we can't take
Speaker 3: her home like this because my friends are. They're good friends.
Speaker 3: But then her parents were like, she has to go
Speaker 3: because their parents suck.
Speaker 2: They threw me in the car.
Speaker 3: I kept jumping out of the car because I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: they gonna beat my ass. Like I knew I was
Speaker 3: too drunk, and they put the child locks on. So
Speaker 3: I rolled the window down and tried to crawl out
Speaker 3: of the window of a moving car, and they put
Speaker 3: me between They sandwiched me between them, and then we.
Speaker 2: Pull up to my house. The people across the street
Speaker 2: are having a party.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to get out still as soon as the
Speaker 3: car stops, soon as the child locks are open, I fall.
Speaker 2: Out of the car land on the street.
Speaker 1: Right now, I have one of these dads that has
Speaker 1: like a real scary face, Like my dad looks like
Speaker 1: like a like a young Samuel L.
Speaker 2: Jackson. Like that's what my father's face was like. And
Speaker 2: his name is Samya and.
Speaker 3: His name is Samuel. So everyone in my neighborhood was
Speaker 3: always terrified of my dad. So this guy across the
Speaker 3: street saw me fall land on my face, he was like,
Speaker 3: is that marat? He kicks me up. He tells my
Speaker 3: friends to go. They leave me, and he sits with
Speaker 3: me on the porch. My dad is in the window
Speaker 3: behind us, watching this happen, and he opens the door
Speaker 3: right behind us.
Speaker 1: This dude runs across the street. He's like, Nope, don't
Speaker 1: want these problems with this Haitian man. I'm so drunk
Speaker 1: that I'm like, well, maybe my dad didn't see me.
Speaker 1: I crawl behind the bushes. My dad is like, I
Speaker 1: could see you. I'm like, well, now I'm peeing, so
Speaker 1: I have to stay here.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. They pulled me in the house. I'm
Speaker 2: like covered in pee. I threw up. There's like water
Speaker 2: bottles all in my purse. My mom was like. My
Speaker 2: mom was like, she's on drugs, and I'm sure they
Speaker 2: beat mass. I can't remember. That's how drunk I was.
Speaker 3: But that same day, my brother came home high in
Speaker 3: brand new shoes and my mother was like, where did
Speaker 3: you get those?
Speaker 1: And he was like they were having a sale. So
Speaker 1: my parents thought that they failed that day, and they
Speaker 1: kind of do. But my sister was there. She was
Speaker 1: reading books or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, highlighting a big, big book, yeah yeah, with glasses
Speaker 4: like drinking water yeah yeah yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Peter, one of the rules is not having a
Speaker 1: sixteen year old at your party.
Speaker 4: Not being sixteen years old, I don't know how to
Speaker 4: have drugs. That's the yeah, because the mistakes you make
Speaker 4: after that, it's like, no, this is I mean, it's
Speaker 4: your fault when you're sixteen, but after that it's not
Speaker 4: really forgivable.
Speaker 2: It's not. And so leading to that.
Speaker 1: Food, food is a great deal at a party because
Speaker 1: when people tell me they have food at the house,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking they have food crackers, not food.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 4: That's why you got to like, I like having a
Speaker 4: meal or like something like pizza, like something actual pizza
Speaker 4: is not related whatever, but something pizza is so easy
Speaker 4: you can have it. People can eat that for dinner
Speaker 4: or whatever. But then I usually have some crackers, but
Speaker 4: just that. And you're inviting people over at like seven,
Speaker 4: it's like people are expecting dinner. Here your food.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you invite somebody somewhere at seven, they're
Speaker 1: not gonna show up to like eighty thirty exactly because.
Speaker 4: They might potentially you never know. You have to you
Speaker 4: have to.
Speaker 1: If I want people to come to my house at
Speaker 1: seven thirty, what time should I invite them to the house.
Speaker 4: You want them to be there at seven thirty. Uh,
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know if you know, if
Speaker 4: you know that they're all going to show up an hour.
Speaker 2: Late and but them at six thirty, they're gonna come
Speaker 2: at nine.
Speaker 4: I know. Well that's how well.
Speaker 1: Marisa at six thirty. I know she's always about an
Speaker 1: hour late. I don't want to be the first person there,
Speaker 1: so I get to carry the one divided about six
Speaker 1: eleven Uber serve pricing.
Speaker 2: I got to get there at twelve.
Speaker 4: It's brunch. You'll do brunch the next one exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, people, you know what are you going to have
Speaker 2: on the on the like table? Though? When people are
Speaker 2: coming in at your party.
Speaker 4: Well, pizza. Fried chicken is always really good, except the
Speaker 4: fried chicken clean up is a major thing. Oh, you
Speaker 4: gotta know what to do with.
Speaker 3: The Should I have a disco fried chicken party?
Speaker 4: People? No one gets more excited when there's a gigantic
Speaker 4: pile of fried chicken.
Speaker 2: It depends on what kind of fried chicken did you?
Speaker 4: Actually, that's a horror story I have of a party.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about this.
Speaker 4: I lived in Missouri and it was it was there
Speaker 4: was some there was okay chicken. Sorry, but Louis Saint Louis.
Speaker 4: But I had a party. I don't care about that.
Speaker 4: I think the Kentucky Derby is like scary scarce with
Speaker 4: the hats, with the hats and like it's like just
Speaker 4: scary to me. So and but I had a Kentucky
Speaker 4: Derby party in college and in college classy, and it
Speaker 4: was a you know, people put you know, their fine
Speaker 4: and stuff that's on whatever. But I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna have a bunch of fried chicken for this party.
Speaker 4: It's like may it's hot, have it out all day.
Speaker 4: People love it. Whatever I had, Like, I ordered over
Speaker 4: two hundred pieces of fried chicken from where, like all
Speaker 4: of it, full bird, the whole thing, big gigantic pile
Speaker 4: of it. And I had there were like fifty people
Speaker 4: invited and it was a large party. And I had
Speaker 4: a took one of those plastic bins you like put
Speaker 4: stuff for storage in, and I made that an ice
Speaker 4: I made that an ice bucket. Okay, no, no, the chicken, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: chicken was on like brown paper or whatever. But at
Speaker 4: the towards the end of the party, it lasted like
Speaker 4: eight hours because people got there like noon, so uh no,
Speaker 4: lasted like eleven hours, but at like six o'clock. The
Speaker 4: ice bucket had all melted by that point and it
Speaker 4: was located by the fried chicken, so people were started
Speaker 4: thinking that that was a garbage can. So people were
Speaker 4: then throwing their like old chicken bones in this like
Speaker 4: liquor water, and I then, uh didn't realize that until
Speaker 4: two days later. Two days because the party people left
Speaker 4: at eleven and then I went to like the party
Speaker 4: moved to someone else's house. I then stayed at that
Speaker 4: person's house, spent the day. The next day at their house,
Speaker 4: we went to like this lake whatever that night. It
Speaker 4: was a good time. And then I came back to
Speaker 4: my house the following evening and I was like, I
Speaker 4: thought I had cleaned up, and then I was like,
Speaker 4: what is that smell? And then I discover a like
Speaker 4: cesspool chicken bone. It was like Azelia Banks's closet chicken
Speaker 4: bones and like I don't even know what And it
Speaker 4: was the most disgusting thing I've ever had to deal
Speaker 4: with in my life. Oh, it was all of it,
Speaker 4: but like bloat, like with liquor and like beer smell,
Speaker 4: soaking all that.
Speaker 1: It was just really a new business liquor.
Speaker 4: It was disgusting. You Yeah, just put a good clear
Speaker 4: garbage can next to those that chicken, you know, so
Speaker 4: just people know where it was. The chicken good because
Speaker 4: it chicken was really good, Okay, because you were there.
Speaker 2: Biscuits.
Speaker 4: I had biscuits, I had chicken. I had Actually I
Speaker 4: called Martha Stewart for this party. I talked to her on
Speaker 4: the phone. I called her on her podcast, how about
Speaker 4: that You're alive? I had Twitter. I just got on
Speaker 4: Twitter and she was, you know, she's always active on
Speaker 4: whatever the up and up is, and she was tweeting
Speaker 4: about her ExM radio show. Sorry to advertise a different
Speaker 4: radio pro you are, But she was like, call me in,
Speaker 4: call in your questions whatever for like parties. And I
Speaker 4: was like, I think I got this under control. But
Speaker 4: it's Kentucky Derby time. Maybe she'll be like, oh yeah,
Speaker 4: we can talk about that in the air. That's like
Speaker 4: something people want to talk about.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So I called her and I was like, Hi, wow, uh,
Speaker 4: I'm having a Kentucky Derby party. What should I put out?
Speaker 4: And she was like, put out some bri and cucumbers
Speaker 4: And You're like, I know that, lady. I was like
Speaker 4: I've seen a television show like this is, you know,
Speaker 4: And I was pissed. What to put out though, But
Speaker 4: then she said I I'm going this year and I
Speaker 4: said oh. She was like, I need to find a hat.
Speaker 4: I probably have a hat around and I said, oh,
Speaker 4: I bet you do. And then she hung up, sniffed
Speaker 4: pretty much, and I heard like the air come out
Speaker 4: of the recording studio and then she said, well, thank you,
Speaker 4: and then she hung up.
Speaker 2: I love the Stewart.
Speaker 4: I accidentally pissed her off, but whatever, well, thank you.
Speaker 4: She told me to three out and I was like,
Speaker 4: we know, that's.
Speaker 2: Well, it's going to be at the disco party.
Speaker 4: No, but I think there should be a fried chicken.
Speaker 2: I think cheese is a hard one. I think cheese
Speaker 2: is a hard one.
Speaker 1: Because unless people eat it right away, that's gross.
Speaker 2: If it's a long ass party, you're.
Speaker 4: Supposed to leave cheese out for five hours before you
Speaker 4: eat it.
Speaker 2: What.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what French people do, so it gets room temperature.
Speaker 2: French people look like that's.
Speaker 1: So that warm breeze, that moldy breathing and cigarette exactly No, wait, five.
Speaker 4: Counting in the house. I let that happen if people
Speaker 4: are by the way.
Speaker 2: Smoking cigarettes, Yeah, that's rude. I think that the only.
Speaker 1: Cigarettes people should be allowed to smoke inside, like the
Speaker 1: long thin fun Well.
Speaker 4: I just sometimes like someone's smoking a cigarette inside. I'm like,
Speaker 4: that's fun.
Speaker 2: No, that's not fun to me, Not for me in
Speaker 2: my hair, not for me in my key account.
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess that's How.
Speaker 1: Do you feel about bringing stuff? Should people bring stuff
Speaker 1: to a party?
Speaker 2: Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: Sure, like bottles or you know, drugs to share or
Speaker 1: a friend, Like how.
Speaker 2: Do you feel about these things?
Speaker 4: Uh, if you're gonna bring a friend, you better bring
Speaker 4: enough booze for two more friends because that friend's going
Speaker 4: to drink other people's stuff. Yeah, so you gotta be prepared.
Speaker 4: You should bring enough for you to be like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is enough for me. I think unless the person
Speaker 4: says don't bring anything, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: How do you feel about people who say don't bring anything?
Speaker 1: Because every time.
Speaker 4: I the better have enough?
Speaker 2: Yes, every time I.
Speaker 1: Come and they're like, don't bring anything. I get there
Speaker 1: and I'm like, where's the seltzer? Where is the limons
Speaker 1: of the line? Yeah, like you they'll have the alcohol,
Speaker 1: but they don't have the things that you drink. If
Speaker 1: you don't drink alcohol, then like, where's the other beverages
Speaker 1: refreshments for my black ass?
Speaker 4: You gotta have you need to have a You gotta
Speaker 4: have all options for everybody.
Speaker 2: You have to because I agree that you should have some.
Speaker 4: It's expensive, but you know what, if you're gonna do
Speaker 4: it right, treat.
Speaker 2: If you've got to do a party, do it do
Speaker 2: to damn party.
Speaker 1: Go big or go home while you are home and
Speaker 1: you're not being bigger.
Speaker 4: Or if someone or if someone's coming and they have
Speaker 4: like really specific I don't know, if they don't drink,
Speaker 4: it can be like, you know, bring something to drink.
Speaker 2: I don't have any free drinks.
Speaker 4: Do you have any gluten free drinks? Sorry? I just
Speaker 4: had to repeat it.
Speaker 2: Just imagine somebody said, like a vegan that doesn't.
Speaker 4: Shrink blah blah blah blah blah. Exactly.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about people who have those like
Speaker 1: restrictions coming to parties?
Speaker 2: They can gifted.
Speaker 4: I mean, as someone who will bring a restriction to
Speaker 4: a party, but it's not I'm not going to be
Speaker 4: like you don't have something for me, because that's not fair.
Speaker 4: It's not party is not for me. It's for the
Speaker 4: majority of the people that are there. So if I'm
Speaker 4: coming and I'm like, I don't eat that right now,
Speaker 4: then I will either shut up and deal with it,
Speaker 4: or I will bring something that maybe someone else doesn't
Speaker 4: eat that right now.
Speaker 1: Sidney, how do you feel when you are a parties
Speaker 1: and there's nothing for you or there are no sober
Speaker 1: people options?
Speaker 2: As a sober person, the party ain't for me. It's
Speaker 2: not for me.
Speaker 1: There will be nothing there for me, Like there'll be
Speaker 1: a flavored club soda and maybe a tostito with a.
Speaker 2: Hints of lime.
Speaker 1: I feel like, if you know sober people are coming,
Speaker 1: you better have a fucking tostito with a hint of lime. Bitch,
Speaker 1: did you just bring a regular tostitoot?
Speaker 4: Okay when you said you want lime flavored chip talking.
Speaker 2: About the chips that you did?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: Because I don't know why. I'm thinking of Toastino's pizza roles.
Speaker 2: Is that a thing?
Speaker 1: Tosto toastitos, tostitos toastinos though, that's that's fun for a party.
Speaker 4: Tostinos, bagel bites, you know what I'm talking about? No, that
Speaker 4: sounds very bro Pizza bagels that like toastinos or anything
Speaker 4: like frozen tater tots that's also really white, you can
Speaker 4: also have. That's why I like fried chicken though, because
Speaker 4: everybody likes fried chicken and it's dinner. I went to
Speaker 4: an appetizer in one.
Speaker 1: I went to a chicken and beer party once under
Speaker 1: a bridge. It was fried chicken and party. It was fantastic,
Speaker 1: but I don't drink beer. I was like, it's not
Speaker 1: a good to say. It's a chicken and beer party,
Speaker 1: not a chicken and rose party. So I decided to
Speaker 1: take my chicken and go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's good, thank you. I get what you want
Speaker 4: from the party, and if once you get what you
Speaker 4: wanted from it, get either.
Speaker 3: So how do you feel when you plan an event
Speaker 3: right and then because you know, like people will double
Speaker 3: stack things right, They'll say, I'm going to go to
Speaker 3: this thing for half an hour and then go to
Speaker 3: this other thing. How do you feel when people come
Speaker 3: to your thing, get drunk on your stuff and then
Speaker 3: dip early?
Speaker 2: Is that something that like you or just in general.
Speaker 4: Like, never got pis I've never that doesn't That's fine?
Speaker 2: Yeah I have.
Speaker 1: I had a couple of friends who have problems with
Speaker 1: that what happened. It was, well, it was her birthday actually,
Speaker 1: which don't tell.
Speaker 4: Don't tell the person. Don't be like, I'm going somewhere
Speaker 4: better buy. Thanks for the drugs and the booze. Thanks
Speaker 4: for letting me pregame here, but sorry I cut you off.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's pretty much what it was. They
Speaker 1: came to her birthday. They didn't bring anything, Nope, nope,
Speaker 1: which I think is is it's a it's a toss up.
Speaker 1: It's like how close are you to this person? But
Speaker 1: it was an intimate thing at her house and her house.
Speaker 2: If you're not that close to me, why are you
Speaker 2: at my birthday party?
Speaker 1: One? Right?
Speaker 3: But you're not bringing anything too, And it's at my house.
Speaker 3: It's like twelve people here, Yes, why are you here?
Speaker 2: I mean that's not true.
Speaker 1: I've invited people that I'm not really that okay, right,
Speaker 1: shut up. And it was in the financial district and
Speaker 1: the apartment was bombed. Like you would have gone, Marie,
Speaker 1: absolutely everybody's going to come.
Speaker 2: Everybody.
Speaker 1: They would have looked at the address Easy Street or
Speaker 1: Street Easy or whatever. They'd be like sixty Water Street
Speaker 1: taking photos. I'm getting my my new apps out my
Speaker 1: face two and everything.
Speaker 2: New hinge profile. So she's there and.
Speaker 1: You know, one the people came in with other friends, which,
Speaker 1: like you said, if you're gonna bring somebody, you better
Speaker 1: bring some respects.
Speaker 4: Exactly.
Speaker 1: They came, they drank. They she had food that she
Speaker 1: actually cooked, prepared herself. They ain't that, and then they
Speaker 1: barely spoke to her and then they bounced.
Speaker 4: That's rude.
Speaker 1: Where these people, she knew these are like neighbors, like
Speaker 1: people who heard the music and they came in ate
Speaker 1: and then left.
Speaker 2: They live in the vicinity. But no, they weren't neighbors.
Speaker 4: That's rude.
Speaker 2: It's very rude. Right.
Speaker 4: Well, it's like either you're gonna come and leave soon,
Speaker 4: so you better leave something. I don't know, like there's
Speaker 4: rules to it. Put a bottle in it, like I
Speaker 4: gotta go. But here's one Celia that's like, okay, great,
Speaker 4: thanks a lot for keeping the party going instead of
Speaker 4: taking the party and then leaving and dashing. People are rude.
Speaker 1: I sat here and slaved over this roasted chicken and
Speaker 1: you just ate some and then left.
Speaker 2: That's so she roasted chicken.
Speaker 1: That was it dinner part It was like it was yeah,
Speaker 1: and while she was telling me about this party.
Speaker 2: I said, but you did not invite you time. I said,
Speaker 2: I would have stayed the whole night.
Speaker 1: I would have brought an overnight bag, bitch, that's why
Speaker 1: you didn't get invited. I would have brought some Rice
Speaker 1: Krispy treats like I would have had dessert.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Rice Krispy trees.
Speaker 4: Those are good because those can just kind of stay
Speaker 4: out and they don't get Yeah, we got to figure
Speaker 4: out if that doesn't get funky, if it stays out.
Speaker 1: We were at a barbecue recently and somebody made like
Speaker 1: a homemade here was that. I don't know, Oh, Rebecca Vigil,
Speaker 1: I had so many rice Christmas write down.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because that's the thing. If you're famous for something
Speaker 4: or you have something good, it's like, hey, bring that.
Speaker 2: Bring it like alternate understudy snacks.
Speaker 4: Bring the things. Make that dip. You had a friend
Speaker 4: that made a dip. She makes us like dip. That's
Speaker 4: so it's like a taco. It's like you mix a
Speaker 4: bunch of ship and it's terrible for you, but it's
Speaker 4: so good. Got like MGG like a heaven layered dip.
Speaker 4: You bring the toast with lime. It's like just yeah,
Speaker 4: bring it.
Speaker 2: Over, Okay.
Speaker 1: But my thing is, how do you feel about trusting
Speaker 1: people who make things at home and then bring them
Speaker 1: to party? Talk about it dirty hand, dirty hand. They
Speaker 1: don't wash the lettuce like people. They don't know how
Speaker 1: to make macaroni.
Speaker 4: Balance you. If you see someone that's like suspect, you
Speaker 4: got to just be like, so this is this? Uh
Speaker 4: Marie made that. You know, just be clear when you're
Speaker 4: like showing people coming, like there's food over there. Marie
Speaker 4: made that.
Speaker 3: No no, no, but you know what I'm saying, like I'll
Speaker 3: wash and rinse and triple everything. But I was at
Speaker 3: this party, uh with an ex boyfriend, you know, the one,
Speaker 3: the only one that I have years ago, and uh,
Speaker 3: we were eating this like anti pasta dish.
Speaker 1: It's like lettuce and salami, right salami. I was like,
Speaker 1: went back for thirds, okay, went back for thirds.
Speaker 3: The guy who made it happened to be standing next
Speaker 3: to me, and I was like, this is so good.
Speaker 2: He was like notice that.
Speaker 3: He was like it was real easy to make too.
Speaker 3: I didn't have to rinse it or nothing, because it's
Speaker 3: the package. It's triple rinsed. I said, you still need
Speaker 3: to rinse this.
Speaker 2: His ants in this. Yeah, there's legit bugs Like.
Speaker 1: You listen, just because the back says triple rints or whatever,
Speaker 1: you still have to rinse the leaves.
Speaker 2: There's legit. There are bugs in bugs still.
Speaker 1: And I don't know how many you know farm roaches
Speaker 1: I ate, but I had three.
Speaker 2: Of this anti pasta ant an. I'm trying to put
Speaker 2: that in there. I heard I was.
Speaker 3: But I did go to a barbecue once and it
Speaker 3: was like on somebody's roof and they were cooking on
Speaker 3: the grill and I was eating a cheeseburger and I
Speaker 3: was like, okay, this is kind of cute. And the
Speaker 3: guy on the grill, a dog came up to him
Speaker 3: and I was watching him flip the meat with like
Speaker 3: two of his fingers and the spatula and then the
Speaker 3: dog came and you let the.
Speaker 2: Dog lick these same two trash. I threw my burger off.
Speaker 1: The roof, Yes you did, because it's just it's like
Speaker 1: not everybody is clean, and not everybody sees and things
Speaker 1: the way and how what do you do when you
Speaker 1: bite into something and it trash and you see at
Speaker 1: the party and you see the person that you're like,
Speaker 1: I know you made this you know what I do.
Speaker 1: I throw it under the couch. I spin it into
Speaker 1: a napkin, and then I throw it under the couch.
Speaker 4: I can't. I can't think of the time that that's
Speaker 4: happened to me right now. I can't. I can't. I don't.
Speaker 2: You've never been to a party.
Speaker 4: I really can't think of something. But what I would
Speaker 4: do is I would Yeah, it's be it to a
Speaker 4: napkin and check out.
Speaker 2: Something Todney, what do you do if you bite it?
Speaker 2: This something in is trash.
Speaker 1: I'm so vocal that I'm oh, I'm clutching my bro
Speaker 1: I'll probably before I eat it that looks weird.
Speaker 4: No, I'll stay clear for me.
Speaker 1: I'll ask who made it. I'll see what their fingernails
Speaker 1: look like. And then if I taste it and it's trash,
Speaker 1: I'll warn all the black people coming in after that,
Speaker 1: I like, no, you don't want eat that.
Speaker 2: If I'm there with Marie, I'm going live on answer
Speaker 2: the girl.
Speaker 1: Look at this macaroni dry ass salad. My throat feels
Speaker 1: like I just swallowed glass.
Speaker 4: Do you like macaroni?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Not really.
Speaker 4: Anything that's like mayonnaise based on mayonnaise.
Speaker 1: Pasta I'm here for a macaroni and cheese and even that,
Speaker 1: like there's a there's an art to that, you know,
Speaker 1: like not craft.
Speaker 4: How do you like it? Do you like it with
Speaker 4: cheese up baked? You like it with bread crumbs?
Speaker 2: You like it with That's the only way macaroni and
Speaker 2: cheese should have, like three cheeses.
Speaker 4: It needs to be baked.
Speaker 1: Oh, Marie, what's that thing that we had that was
Speaker 1: like pee, it was peas, it was peas and cheese.
Speaker 2: It was where were we? Oh yeah, salad?
Speaker 3: And every when it came and everybody was like, nobody's
Speaker 3: touching that. I got up and had some said this
Speaker 3: is phenomenonal, was like is everybody jumped up?
Speaker 2: It was gone. We bust that ship down.
Speaker 4: Okay everything Brussels sprouts, peas and cheese.
Speaker 2: No, that is bustles separate. But I put it all
Speaker 2: on the same plate and need the whole.
Speaker 4: Dingyeah yeah, yea yeah, so good. So that's the thing.
Speaker 4: You're either given dinner or you're given snacks.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna add Jenny's name to the list for
Speaker 2: the birthday. Yes she did.
Speaker 4: And if it's a birthday and you have friends, like
Speaker 4: you know, it's like, can you please make that? It's
Speaker 4: so good? And they're like, sure, that's your birthday gift.
Speaker 1: I like when people just bring bottles, you know, like
Speaker 1: bring stuff that when the party's over, I'm taking this
Speaker 1: home and I'm not a big drinker, so that stuff
Speaker 1: will last me for a cool year.
Speaker 4: And if you're a guest, you can bring a bottle up.
Speaker 4: But you can if you know there's going to be
Speaker 4: enough for you whatever, you can hide it in their
Speaker 4: fridge with like a little note on it. And how
Speaker 4: good is that when you find like a secret bottle
Speaker 4: or something like, oh thank god, I got this rose
Speaker 4: right now?
Speaker 1: Peter the guest list, how do you feel about you
Speaker 1: invite you? It's open, you're inviting every but there's people
Speaker 1: who have drama with each other?
Speaker 2: What's up with that?
Speaker 4: That is their problem, that's what you think, and then
Speaker 4: it could become your.
Speaker 1: Problem, right because then they get into a fight and
Speaker 1: they break your coffee table.
Speaker 2: Now, what what's up you? Okay? Dust all over?
Speaker 4: Ye cocaine does? Donna Summer's blaring on the speaker. You Uh,
Speaker 4: it's bad. Girls. You got to I don't know, kick
Speaker 4: them out. Say this isn't about you, you're gonna have
Speaker 4: to go.
Speaker 2: But do you invite both parties though.
Speaker 4: Or unless you invite the one that you I mean,
Speaker 4: you know, if you're friends with both, you shouldn't take sides.
Speaker 4: But if you're closer with othermen, don't.
Speaker 3: Or you tell them that they're soonel is going to
Speaker 3: be here, So and so might come just so they know.
Speaker 2: But I feel some type of way, like we.
Speaker 1: If we close friends and you invite somebody that you know,
Speaker 1: I have a problem with.
Speaker 2: What were we doing?
Speaker 1: Sis, I'm inviting her for the gift she's coming because
Speaker 1: you know she gives good she brings good presents.
Speaker 4: Or if you're friends with if you like both people,
Speaker 4: you just gotta tell them beforehand, like this person's coming,
Speaker 4: so you can either deal with it and I'll I'll.
Speaker 3: Be like what, Yeah, Sydney went live at my birthday
Speaker 3: party last year because I didn't invite a bunch of
Speaker 3: people that I don't like, but I was inviting total strangers.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, you're cool, you have cool suit
Speaker 3: on come to my birthday And Sydney went live and
Speaker 3: was like, Marie throws the best parties. If you aren't invited,
Speaker 3: she don't like you and.
Speaker 4: And messaging me the day.
Speaker 1: People were messaging me the next day and they were like,
Speaker 1: I see so and so was invited to your birthday party.
Speaker 1: I thought that we were remembered. There was a there
Speaker 1: was a friend of mine who I'm.
Speaker 3: Still not really cool with a year later because he
Speaker 3: didn't get invited. And it was like, but you kind
Speaker 3: of boring dude, Like you didn't get invited because like
Speaker 3: you're like a wet blanket.
Speaker 1: I'm not inviting you to my birthday party. So you're
Speaker 1: stuck on me all night, Like I want to spend
Speaker 1: time with my friends and I don't want like some
Speaker 1: like uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Like dad dude. They're like, Okay, actually you might need
Speaker 2: a coaster for that.
Speaker 1: Okay, like that's why you weren't invited exactly, not you,
Speaker 1: But you can come this year.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll bring stuff.
Speaker 1: Stuff, Peter, what are you bringing? Yes, let's talk about it.
Speaker 4: I gets a case by case basis, but usually it's bottles, yeah,
Speaker 4: because like bringing food on the trains hard.
Speaker 2: It is on the trade.
Speaker 4: Were the folks at home if you're taking the train,
Speaker 4: if you can take a car and you can put
Speaker 4: you know, a couple of cakes in there. Do it.
Speaker 4: But if you're taking the train, just put a bottle
Speaker 4: in your bag and call.
Speaker 2: It a day.
Speaker 1: What's your go to bottle? Usually Rose, Yes, thank you,
Speaker 1: it's so classy.
Speaker 4: Or I'll get like yeah Rose yellow tail yellow. I'll
Speaker 4: get like a like I'll find actually, someone brought Trader
Speaker 4: a trader Joe's box a Rose eight. You feel about
Speaker 4: wine if it's like I like, I'm into it. I'm rerillly.
Speaker 2: I like box one. I like a cane one of rose.
Speaker 4: There aren't big bottles. They're like that you don't have
Speaker 4: to open the bottle. You just kind of like pump
Speaker 4: it out. I'm into it. They're taking good ones. There
Speaker 4: are good ones.
Speaker 2: There are good ones. There are good Yeah, I seed
Speaker 2: juice box Rose.
Speaker 4: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Actually one time we were we were at a barbecue
Speaker 1: Sid and I had to leave and I didn't want
Speaker 1: to leave my wine and I cut the top off
Speaker 1: a juice box and poured my wine into the juice box.
Speaker 2: Do you remember that she's a crafty bitch.
Speaker 4: I think people should it be. It's nice if people
Speaker 4: leave with something. You get it again, blender.
Speaker 1: Liveries of my birthday party and you leave all your bottles.
Speaker 2: Some people live leave with HPV.
Speaker 1: It's great, okay, sure, but now, okay, hold on, how
Speaker 1: do y'all feel about people who bring you something for
Speaker 1: your party then leave with that thing?
Speaker 2: Leave with it?
Speaker 1: Okay, it's fucked Peter. Hold on, what if you make
Speaker 1: something for the party? Everybody look at it and be
Speaker 1: like and so it's there, So you're like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: taking my thing back.
Speaker 4: Actually, you know what? I did this earlier this summer.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: I was so I was in this play and there
Speaker 4: was a Fourth of July party that everyone was going
Speaker 4: to and I had come back to the city for
Speaker 4: something and I was at Grand Central Station and there
Speaker 4: was there's a Magnolia Bakery there. Yeah, and I was like,
Speaker 4: the fourth of July tomorrow, I don't have anything to bring.
Speaker 4: I what if I And I looked at the case
Speaker 4: and there was this gigantic banana pudding.
Speaker 1: There was just they're known for the banana yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's this big.
Speaker 4: Like bucket of it. And I was like, what if
Speaker 4: I roll up with the gigantic bucket of banana pudding?
Speaker 1: People that a bucket is it's it's But there were
Speaker 1: like fifty people there, like it's like a family.
Speaker 4: No, it's like this, like it's a nice bucket. I'm
Speaker 4: calling it a bucket, but it's like a plat. It's
Speaker 4: a big thing with like a sticker and you know
Speaker 4: there's branding on it. It's nice gallon of for a crowd,
Speaker 4: for sure. So I'm like, let's go to this party
Speaker 4: with sixty people fifty two seconds ago. Sixty now a
Speaker 4: lot of people, seventy people. I put it in the fridge.
Speaker 4: The party's ending, and I forgot to take it out
Speaker 4: of the fridge. There's enough. There was enough food for
Speaker 4: like five days, like everyone brought. There was so much food,
Speaker 4: And yeah, I did not mind take this out of
Speaker 4: the fridge. I'm too fucked up. And the party's ending,
Speaker 4: and I was like, hey, you can take this back
Speaker 4: because this is not enough for the one person who
Speaker 4: lives here. No one saw it. I'm going to take
Speaker 4: it and I'm going to bring it to the show
Speaker 4: tomorrow and the cast and crew of forty people can
Speaker 4: have this after the show tomorrow. So then I was like,
Speaker 4: if this is going toward another event, I did it.
Speaker 4: I felt really bad, but then I got over it.
Speaker 2: Would you tell the host that you were taking your
Speaker 2: thing back.
Speaker 4: I did not tell the host I took it and
Speaker 4: he didn't see me put it in the refridge.
Speaker 2: No one saw, no one. The best way to do
Speaker 2: it you just bring it.
Speaker 4: But I didn't intend to hide it. I would truly.
Speaker 4: Just like I got there, I put it in the
Speaker 4: fridge like this, it's too hot. I can't leave this
Speaker 4: out when dessert happens later.
Speaker 1: That's noted Marie put it in a refrigerator, put it
Speaker 1: way back, No, forget about it.
Speaker 3: The other day I went to brunch and I bought
Speaker 3: a bottle of champagne, like cute champagne too.
Speaker 1: Actually, somebody gave it to me for my birthday last year.
Speaker 1: It's just been sitting in my fret for a.
Speaker 3: Year, so I pulled. I bought this to the brunch
Speaker 3: the other day. There was already champagne and rose and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, we're not going to get to
Speaker 3: my bottle, like I gotta take this.
Speaker 1: Right before I was getting ready to go to the fridge,
Speaker 1: they were like, did you guys want to do another round?
Speaker 3: And one person said yes. I said, they popped my
Speaker 3: champagne open, and I was like, they're still like more
Speaker 3: than a half of the buck.
Speaker 1: Cannot take it, like an open bottle of champagne on
Speaker 1: the queue trade.
Speaker 2: I didn't take it, but I thought about it.
Speaker 1: I was like, I should steal something else, like one
Speaker 1: of these disposable vapes or something.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, I didn't take it. They saw me looking
Speaker 2: at it, and I was like, they don't know that.
Speaker 4: They hit it in the back of the refrigerator.
Speaker 2: I know, I feel really stupid for leaving my champagne there.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I'm having a lot of There are a
Speaker 4: lot of casualties at parties.
Speaker 2: It happens, you know.
Speaker 4: Someone opens it. My one of my pet peeves is
Speaker 4: when you open the can or something and you take
Speaker 4: a sip and then you'll leave it there. That's my
Speaker 4: that happens. That's why you get over it. The leaders,
Speaker 4: you gotta don't get I'm all about the cheer leader.
Speaker 1: Don't give people the options of having like something for
Speaker 1: themselves individuals.
Speaker 4: It's all about the cheerleaders. And you got to have
Speaker 4: enough room in your fridge because people bring stuff and
Speaker 4: if there's no room in the fridge, you don't have
Speaker 4: an ice. You don't have ice.
Speaker 2: You gotta have a fucking fridge.
Speaker 4: Hot beer and hot rose. No, thank you.
Speaker 2: That's great about the beer. The beer, it wants to
Speaker 2: be there.
Speaker 4: I don't drink I don't drink beer, but you got
Speaker 4: to have that cold, cold pink, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Well, when people get like water bottles or they like
Speaker 1: keep forgetting where they set their cups down and they
Speaker 1: just can't get more and more cups.
Speaker 4: That happens. But you just got to keep the drinks cold.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: My last question is about hookups.
Speaker 1: How you feel about people hooking up at the party
Speaker 1: in the bathroom, because listen.
Speaker 2: I have some stories about people getting hid and a
Speaker 2: house party.
Speaker 4: If it gets there, I'm totally down for it. But
Speaker 4: you got the house there has to be on their back.
Speaker 4: If there's only one bathroom and you're in there for
Speaker 4: twenty minutes, that's rude. Go home. Yeah, you'll have more
Speaker 4: fun use the neighbor's house. You will go get a
Speaker 4: car and go back to your apartment and just have
Speaker 4: a great time in your own bathroom. But if you
Speaker 4: I don't know if it happens, so why not, that's
Speaker 4: fine in my opinion, you.
Speaker 2: Have something that you can I have nothing to say.
Speaker 4: Have I I've hooked up people at a party. I
Speaker 4: don't know. I want that to happen. People have a
Speaker 4: great time.
Speaker 1: Don't think that I've hooked up with somebody at a
Speaker 1: party in a bathroom.
Speaker 2: In the bathroom. Ever, I don't hook up with people
Speaker 2: at parties.
Speaker 1: I feel like every time I've gone into a party
Speaker 1: and I've gone into their bathroom after an hour of
Speaker 1: being there, the bathroom is disgusting death not.
Speaker 4: I went to a party in the host was hooking
Speaker 4: up with someone that they've met at the party, and
Speaker 4: everyone was like, is there trying you know, trying to
Speaker 4: like find more. Like people were just left to kind
Speaker 4: of host themselves at this person's house. And it's like,
Speaker 4: come on, like you know, I'm all for you, but
Speaker 4: like tell us to go.
Speaker 1: You need like a like a like a party coordinator.
Speaker 4: Almost, well, you can't have a party in order for
Speaker 4: your self. You can't have a party for yourself in
Speaker 4: a certain sense, you know what I mean. If you're
Speaker 4: at the birthday party, it's for you, but you can't
Speaker 4: be uh, you can't have it, so you can then
Speaker 4: abandon everybody. You can't have it, so you can then
Speaker 4: good time.
Speaker 1: If they're like we're gonna bring the cake out is
Speaker 1: has anybody seen Marie and someone's like, I feel like
Speaker 1: I saw her hopping a cab forty eight minutes ago.
Speaker 3: When people are like happy birthday, Uh, I mean, I'm all, well,
Speaker 3: body text her?
Speaker 4: She left her phone?
Speaker 2: Well, I guess she's dead. But I guess she died
Speaker 2: on her birthday.
Speaker 1: That's that's how you go out on the day you
Speaker 1: were born. Yeah, but the tombstone is gonna be real sad.
Speaker 1: Four three tips, let's.
Speaker 2: Go, let's go around.
Speaker 1: I guess and and hate everybody listening with your three
Speaker 1: party tips.
Speaker 2: Here, Sydney me.
Speaker 4: You need you need ice? Yes, you always need ice. Yes,
Speaker 4: And you're no one's going to bring it. No one's
Speaker 4: gonna bring ices.
Speaker 1: Annoying to bring it's annoying to bring it.
Speaker 4: If you're a guest, bring a bag of ice, You're
Speaker 4: that's something, even though it's frozen water, that's important.
Speaker 1: If you're the guest and you bring a bag of ice,
Speaker 1: you're like the person that's like, I'm gonna bring cups.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a step up.
Speaker 4: No ice is it is a step up from cups? Yeah,
Speaker 4: But you're then gonna be the life saver in like
Speaker 4: four hours and it's like.
Speaker 1: Fuck, right, you only bought one bag. If you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I thought, yeah I was gonna have you.
Speaker 4: Then bring three bags a lot of ice to bring
Speaker 4: you five bags of ice.
Speaker 2: Five bags of ice, so we got ice? What else.
Speaker 4: Enough? Well? I think the stuff about like non alcoholic
Speaker 4: stuff is good. You need mixers, Yes, yes, you need mixers.
Speaker 4: If people are just taking shots, you're gonna the party's
Speaker 4: gonna end in like two hours.
Speaker 2: People are gonna die.
Speaker 4: And people are gonna get too rowdy, and no one's
Speaker 4: ever nothing's ever too rowdy. But people are gonna then
Speaker 4: leave to go somewhere you know you're yeah.
Speaker 2: They're gonna wander out, forget their shoes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but my third one, uh, make sure you just
Speaker 4: gotta have enough food.
Speaker 2: I love everything that you sit ice, food, mixers, all
Speaker 2: the food.
Speaker 4: He's you have to make sure it lasts a long time.
Speaker 4: If the ice runs out, your screwed. If the food
Speaker 4: runs out, everyone's pissed. If there's no mixers and everyone's
Speaker 4: taking shots only of hot vodka, I'm not coming back
Speaker 4: to this house.
Speaker 2: I don't love vod what's you talking about?
Speaker 4: How you do it?
Speaker 1: It's warm, hot vodka, Hot Toddy vodka. Yeah, okay, here
Speaker 1: are my three ready.
Speaker 4: One.
Speaker 1: First of all, I love a theme. If there's a
Speaker 1: theme and you're coming, you need to adhere to that theme.
Speaker 1: Don't be showing up in your regular if the theme
Speaker 1: is dad jeans, don't throw up show up in a
Speaker 1: mom jean.
Speaker 2: Okay, like show up, do it if you're coming. Uh.
Speaker 2: My second thing is when the party's over and you.
Speaker 1: See people leaving and you still trying to linger because
Speaker 1: you think I want your dick, you gotta.
Speaker 2: Go, like, don't be okay, well.
Speaker 3: Like unless you're staying to help clean up, like and
Speaker 3: even then after that's done, you.
Speaker 2: Have to leave. People be lingering like did you did
Speaker 2: you need anything else?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Then another drink it's like yeah, or they're like let's
Speaker 3: put you know what song are really and they try
Speaker 3: to put a song on, or like watch a music video.
Speaker 2: You gotta go. It's time for you to leave. Uh
Speaker 2: and uh.
Speaker 3: My third thing is uh and this is a thing
Speaker 3: that my dad still says to me as a grown
Speaker 3: ass woman. If you're at a party and you're drinking something,
Speaker 3: you set your cup down. When you come back, that
Speaker 3: cup is no longer yours, because you don't know it's people.
Speaker 2: People be crazy.
Speaker 1: Somebody might have asked a cigarette in it, or like
Speaker 1: throw a roofie in it. Either way, if you set
Speaker 1: your cup down, that's not your cup when you come back,
Speaker 1: keep it with you at all times.
Speaker 3: Don't get s V you done. Don't get SV. You
Speaker 3: don't get SV you glues sendney.
Speaker 2: What are your three what are your three party rules?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Let your neighbors know. You got to let the neighbors
Speaker 1: know because they've never done you that, or at least
Speaker 1: invite them so they feel like, oh, they knew about
Speaker 1: the party, and then if they want to come they
Speaker 1: can because the neighbors are crucial to how long the
Speaker 1: party gonna last. Remember we were at our friend's party
Speaker 1: and somebody called the cops and the cop came, and
Speaker 1: the cop knew our friend at the part.
Speaker 2: He was like, is that Helen?
Speaker 1: He forgot he was there for a noise complaint and
Speaker 1: then screamed He's like, all right, you know, do what
Speaker 1: y'all doing, but keep it on a little bit, give
Speaker 1: it a little and it was like, are those crap kids?
Speaker 2: And he just the cop had the.
Speaker 4: Time he screaming.
Speaker 2: It was so good. He screamed, is that Helen?
Speaker 4: It's amazing.
Speaker 2: It was incredible. I was like, damn, Helen, you the cop.
Speaker 4: Thank God for Helen.
Speaker 2: Love Helen.
Speaker 1: Leave your drama at the Doorkay, we don't want to
Speaker 1: hear about your breakup. You can't be crying in the corner, bitch.
Speaker 1: We're here to turn up. Like, if you're having a
Speaker 1: good time, let's have a good time. If you need
Speaker 1: a moment and we need to go downstairs and you
Speaker 1: need to a little bit, let's vent. But we in
Speaker 1: the party. I can be in the corner consoling you.
Speaker 1: They just got my jam on okay, Notoria, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: notorious trying to.
Speaker 2: Do my do girl, Like, come on, let's have a
Speaker 2: good time, be out exactly. And then lastly, there's a
Speaker 2: time and a place for drugs, so like not like
Speaker 2: at a church youth party.
Speaker 4: No, someone's like a key you with a bunch of
Speaker 4: coke on it walking around.
Speaker 1: We had a baby. We had a baby shower where
Speaker 1: you got a ball. Come on, had a baby shower.
Speaker 1: Let's not just celebrate.
Speaker 2: Life if.
Speaker 3: You're gonna die like and be reincarnated as that new baby.
Speaker 2: But yeah, there's a time and a place.
Speaker 1: I feel like, if you're doing drugs at a party, yes,
Speaker 1: keep a cute, go to the bathroom, have a designated
Speaker 1: closet for the coke. Like some people were not trying
Speaker 1: to relapse. So if I come in and y'all all
Speaker 1: just partying, then it's like I gotta go.
Speaker 2: Now because now I'm stressed.
Speaker 1: Okay, the coke closet, cold closet, didn't you say they
Speaker 1: had one?
Speaker 4: I want to Azelia Banks's house.
Speaker 2: I'm sure. I'm sure she does.
Speaker 3: A mutual friends of our, Like, they had a party
Speaker 3: in Soho and they people kept going in and had
Speaker 3: this room and I was like, what's going on in there?
Speaker 3: So I went in and they were just doing cocaine
Speaker 3: in this classic that's glassy, and they were like, close
Speaker 3: the door.
Speaker 2: You're letting all of the area.
Speaker 4: You're letting all the coke out.
Speaker 2: You're letting the cocu.
Speaker 1: But also also if you have drugs and you're trying
Speaker 1: to be sneaky about it, like it's weird, like you
Speaker 1: add a party, you don't want everybody to know you're
Speaker 1: doing coke, but I see the ring around your nose.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Also, you going this problem?
Speaker 4: I mean that's just that that's when it becomes their problem.
Speaker 3: Okay, I have a question, and before we go, what
Speaker 3: if you have a party and people leave their shoes
Speaker 3: at the door and I go to get my shoes
Speaker 3: at the end of the night, they're not there. Car
Speaker 3: what we gonna do, Carrie bradshop and you don't tell
Speaker 3: you it was a Manilo.
Speaker 2: It was Manolo Blanis where are my shoes?
Speaker 4: That is really now, I'm like, I'm stressed thinking about that.
Speaker 2: I'm also stressed.
Speaker 4: I think leave it some crocks.
Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm coming right in with your with my
Speaker 2: shoes on.
Speaker 4: No, you knew you was having a bar your shoes
Speaker 4: off household you better have like, I don't know. That's
Speaker 4: like booty don't have a party then, yeah, like because
Speaker 4: that means you're gonna spill something like what you don't
Speaker 4: want us to drink anything on your carpet, like.
Speaker 2: A bar roll the rug up so we could party.
Speaker 4: Some like sawdust on the floor in case.
Speaker 1: You're good on the couch, you're good.
Speaker 2: Disgusting.
Speaker 1: Last note, when you come to the party, don't put
Speaker 1: your dirty ass hands on the wall.
Speaker 3: That's said, don't put your dirty ass hands in the
Speaker 3: bowl of food.
Speaker 2: Pour it out. Don't be coming in and digging for
Speaker 2: you touch it, you take it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's it. You gotta have something to get.
Speaker 2: Wear gloves everybody.
Speaker 1: Everybody gotta have those gloves so whenever they touch it
Speaker 1: is clean.
Speaker 2: You know, people are gross. I love it.
Speaker 1: I'm excited about all the parties that we're gonna tend.
Speaker 1: Do you have any parties coming up that you're excited about.
Speaker 4: I'm excited for your disco party.
Speaker 2: Sorry disco fried Chicken, Sydney, you gotta put.
Speaker 4: I'll bring edible glitter and you can put glitter on
Speaker 4: the fried chicken. Wait what, I put a lot of
Speaker 4: glitter on food.
Speaker 1: Yes see, I went to I went to Sandy's party
Speaker 1: and they were just they put glitter on glitter, glittered everywhere.
Speaker 2: They're eating glitter. Wait, it was edible glue. You can't like.
Speaker 4: Edible glitter is a food safe? Like really finely, I'm
Speaker 4: pretty sure it's still plastic, but you know you can digest.
Speaker 2: It and it comes out in my poop though.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, people will text you. People that text me
Speaker 4: days after parties and like my shit was sparkling unicorn poop.
Speaker 1: Cute's excited about party keeps going well. Peter, thank you
Speaker 1: for being here, Thank you for having me learned so much.
Speaker 1: Tell people listening where they can catch you.
Speaker 4: Uh, Sydney, got it right. It's Bongo hour September fifth
Speaker 4: at the Slipper Room, eight p m. We have John Early,
Speaker 4: You've got Anna for a breakout. We've got strippers. Yes,
Speaker 4: it's got I'll probably take my clothes off.
Speaker 2: It's absolutely cover yourself in edible glitter, so who will
Speaker 2: eat you?
Speaker 4: There's nudity, and there's jokes and there's singing.
Speaker 1: I've been there several times and it's a beautiful hour.
Speaker 4: It's a beautiful hour.
Speaker 2: Everything that you need, oh, all that is crammed into
Speaker 2: one hour.
Speaker 4: One hour.
Speaker 2: It's strippers and comedy and naked.
Speaker 4: It's a good time.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, And Sandy and Peter gives
Speaker 1: you looks and singing and.
Speaker 4: Probably pour hot wax on myself at the for the
Speaker 4: folks at home. You're missing it me poorn.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, Now what's your social media?
Speaker 4: My social handle? Go Instagram because I'm a I'm a
Speaker 4: visual person. Yes, you are so Insta I forget I
Speaker 4: have Twitter weekly.
Speaker 2: I can't even spell.
Speaker 4: I have like one hundred tweets. My Instagram is my
Speaker 4: name Peter Smith, but there's no vowels, so it's p
Speaker 4: t R, S M t.
Speaker 2: H and Peter. You go by they Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Just shout out to you for.
Speaker 1: Saying at the very end of the podcast, however you
Speaker 1: used all the pronouns.
Speaker 4: Today. I'm dressed like Justin Bieber, so if you hear me,
Speaker 4: it's like, you know, that's.
Speaker 2: My ma'am, sir ma'am, sir, sir end or mattle ma'ams.
Speaker 2: I just call you humans, sir, human human being.
Speaker 4: Justinat Bieber.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening. Guys.
Speaker 1: Shout out to all the new niggas and the old ones.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I appreciate you guys being here. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Forever Dog, and for the last time, shout
Speaker 1: out to Comedy Hype for letting us flourish and then
Speaker 1: leave them. Yes, Comedy Hype with sweets. We love you, take.
Speaker 2: Care, We like you as a friend.
Speaker 1: Bye, guys, Forever.
Speaker 5: This has been a Forever Dog production, executive produced by
Speaker 5: Brett Boham, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 5: please visit foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
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