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Speaker 1: Personally the old man Happy Monday. I'm not usually so

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Speaker 1: excited that it's a Monday, but I am today because

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Speaker 1: we have more residents joining today, and honestly, hearing their

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Speaker 1: stories is just one of my favorite things that we've

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Speaker 1: done for this podcast so far. I think we've done

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Speaker 1: a lot of cool things, but sharing their stories is

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Speaker 1: just really special to me. And today Larry, Brenda, Ward,

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Speaker 1: and Shirley all joined me. They have a wide variety

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Speaker 1: of stories to share with you all, and I think

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Speaker 1: you may experience lots of emotions, so be prepared, maybe

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Speaker 1: have some tissues close by. Let's go. Miss Larry Gay

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Speaker 1: joins me right now. Miss Larry, I went to introduce

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Speaker 1: everyone to you first, so we're going to start by

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Speaker 1: you sharing with me what you did for a lot

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Speaker 1: of your life as an occupation, if you ever got

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Speaker 1: married in what your current age is.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well I'll start with my current age. I'm eighty

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Speaker 2: seven years old. I spent sixty six years in the

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Speaker 2: field of education. I got two master's degrees, one in

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Speaker 2: Spanish with a minor in French. I taught Spanish, French

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Speaker 2: and English at the community college level for several years.

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Speaker 2: Then I also went into administration. I went back to

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Speaker 2: school at Vanderbilt University then and got my doctorate in

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Speaker 2: educational leadership, and from there I eventually became a vice

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Speaker 2: president of two community colleges in Florida, one at Manatee

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Speaker 2: Community Colleges in Bramton, another one Orlando. When I retired,

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Speaker 2: I started teaching online for four universities, and after sixty

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Speaker 2: six years years of teaching and administration, I retired. As

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Speaker 2: I'm moving into apes garden.

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Speaker 1: Does it feel crazy that you worked for so long

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Speaker 1: in your life? Is I always your plan?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: I just moved along as I moved into different areas

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Speaker 2: of my life, and I was very, very interested. And

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Speaker 2: at one school, for example, in Orlando, we had an

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Speaker 2: international program. We went to Brazil and it was our

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Speaker 2: sister college, and we had a lot of exchanges and

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Speaker 2: got to go on trips and I got to go

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Speaker 2: to Machu Pichu and the Galopagos Islands as a result,

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Speaker 2: because every time we'd go to one of the schools,

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Speaker 2: I would plan a week's vacation following it and go

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Speaker 2: to all these wonderful places in South America. And of

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Speaker 2: course with my Spanish, you know, it was easy for

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Speaker 2: me to get around, and so it was a very

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Speaker 2: fruitful life, is all I can say. And I had

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Speaker 2: so much fun teaching and being in administration that I

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Speaker 2: guess I just couldn't quit. At the same time, when

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Speaker 2: I moved to Abes, I thought, well, if I don't retire,

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Speaker 2: I'm never going to be able to participate in the

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Speaker 2: activities of ADS because I was at the computer, you know,

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Speaker 2: half the time. And when I did the online classes,

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Speaker 2: we did zoom and all of this, and so, I mean,

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Speaker 2: the preparation was tremendous. It was much harder teaching online

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Speaker 2: than it was being in the classroom.

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Speaker 3: I'll say that.

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Speaker 1: Were you really glad that a lot of your life

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Speaker 1: you spent traveling abroad. Was that something that you feel

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Speaker 1: like really help shape who you were? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I'm glad you mentioned that, because as far

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Speaker 2: as other people who are thinking about retirement and that

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Speaker 2: do it when you're younger, I did that mostly in

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Speaker 2: my forties and fifties, and I have to say I

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Speaker 2: went to China, Greece, Italy, Spain, Ireland, you name it, Mexico,

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Speaker 2: South America, Brazil. I mean, now I'm looking for hard

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Speaker 2: places to go that I haven't been, and I'm glad

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Speaker 2: I did it because now today, I mean, I just

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Speaker 2: had a knee replacement recently, and it's getting harder and

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Speaker 2: harder to travel. So I'm glad I went to all

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Speaker 2: those places during that time.

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Speaker 1: What do you feel like is one of the lessons

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Speaker 1: you learned from all of that traveling and even being

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Speaker 1: an educator for that long.

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Speaker 2: Well, I learned a lot of lessons I learned in education.

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Speaker 2: I learned to be very patient lots of times you

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Speaker 2: have a lot of student problems. Back when I was advising,

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Speaker 2: I learned that people had a lot of difficulties getting

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Speaker 2: into school, and you find out that they're backgrounds and

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Speaker 2: the problems because they'll share it with you and everything.

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Speaker 2: I learned a lot from the students too that enriched

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Speaker 2: my life. For example, I learned a lot about the

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Speaker 2: different cultures, which I think enriches your life. And one

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Speaker 2: experience I had that was just tremendous was when I

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Speaker 2: went to China. I met a woman. It was doctor Omayu.

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Speaker 2: There's a book written about her tragedy and triumph, but

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Speaker 2: she was placed into a communist prison camp for twenty

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Speaker 2: seven years. She was a guy to collegist, never got

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Speaker 2: to practice her her degree or anything. And she was

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Speaker 2: a lovely woman and just somebody that influenced me. And

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Speaker 2: we wrote each other and I helped raise money for

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Speaker 2: their heating system. She was then teaching in a special

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Speaker 2: ed school, and you're talking about learning lessons of life

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Speaker 2: and the struggles that people have are tremendous. And she

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Speaker 2: told the story of her brother dying in her arms.

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Speaker 2: He drowned himself because of all the torture that happened there.

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Speaker 2: So when you go and you have the opportunities that

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Speaker 2: you have in the United States, and you see suffering

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Speaker 2: like in Honduras, we used to send shoes down there.

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Speaker 2: Children didn't have any shoes. And I went down there

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Speaker 2: once just to teach in the schools. And I lived

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Speaker 2: in Mexico for a while and went to school down

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Speaker 2: there and did a lot of projects. So I feel

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Speaker 2: like I've had a rich and wonderful life.

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Speaker 1: When you look back on your life and you're talking

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Speaker 1: about all of these things, and you just said I

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Speaker 1: had a rich and wonderful life. Were there any moments

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Speaker 1: of regret for you as you look back?

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Speaker 2: As I look back, I guess if I have any regret.

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Speaker 2: And this sounds crazy since I wanted to teach you

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Speaker 2: all those years, for sixty six years. But now that

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Speaker 2: I'm in this retirement home, I'm thinking to myself, why

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Speaker 2: didn't I sell my house sooner? Why didn't I take

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Speaker 2: my money so I could travel further and do this

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Speaker 2: while I were more physically able, you know, than now

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Speaker 2: I'm beginning to have to pick and choose what I do,

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Speaker 2: because you know, as you get older, things are going

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Speaker 2: to happen.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like moving in allowed you to even

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Speaker 1: live more independently than you anticipated it would?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 2: I am in independent living and and I get around

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Speaker 2: pretty well. I have to use the walker because of

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Speaker 2: this knee replacement, but I think it's helped me a

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Speaker 2: lot to move in here, and I'm glad I did

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Speaker 2: it because I lost my spouse a year before I

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Speaker 2: moved here, and so that I was lonely. Let's just

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Speaker 2: face it. I had friends there and everything, but when

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Speaker 2: you lose your spouse and your lifetime partner for forty

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Speaker 2: seven years, it is a big, big change. And I

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Speaker 2: know they're a lot of people that have moved in

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Speaker 2: here with those kind of similar stories, So I wish

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Speaker 2: i'd done it sooner, and I moved here because I thought, well,

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Speaker 2: my sister lives here and I'm getting older and I

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Speaker 2: may need help. And so when I was researching why

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Speaker 2: abes reason why is because of a teacher that I

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Speaker 2: taught with at Volunteer State Community College for eighteen years

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Speaker 2: lived here, and I called her up on the phone

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Speaker 2: and I said, I'm looking for a place to move.

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Speaker 2: I'm coming back to Nashville. I had lived here for

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Speaker 2: eighteen years because I taught at Volunteer State. And she said,

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Speaker 2: the only place I would recommend is Ape's Garden. She said,

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Speaker 2: I've looked at all of them. If anything ever happens

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Speaker 2: to me or when I get ready to retire, that's

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Speaker 2: exactly where I'm going. And you know what, because I

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Speaker 2: believe so much in her, I picked up the phone.

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Speaker 2: I call Courtney. That same day, I put down my

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Speaker 2: deposit sit unseen. I never came and looked at the

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Speaker 2: apartment or anything, and moved in. And it's been a

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Speaker 2: pleasant surprise the entire time.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's also cool that a teacher is what impacted

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Speaker 1: you to make this decison in your life when you

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Speaker 1: were probably impactful for so many people over the course

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Speaker 1: of yours.

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Speaker 2: Well, I hope, so, I certainly hope. So. I mean

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Speaker 2: I still hear from many of my students, and some

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Speaker 2: of the students since I've moved here have actually come

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Speaker 2: through here on their travels and we've gotten together, and

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Speaker 2: so I still stay in touch with many of them,

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Speaker 2: which is really really nice.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much, especially that they're continuing to

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Speaker 1: visit you. You mentioned the loneliness that you felt when

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Speaker 1: you lost your spouse, So having visitors, I imagine, has

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Speaker 1: been really helpful.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, visitors, and plus the people of age. I mean,

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Speaker 2: we care for each other here. I mean we're helping

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Speaker 2: each other. There are people that are beginning to lose

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Speaker 2: have memory problems, and just yesterday I went and helped

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Speaker 2: a person. They couldn't remember how to put the phone

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Speaker 2: on the charger, just simple little things like that, and

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Speaker 2: they helped me or they asked me, well, what happened

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Speaker 2: to your eye today? How are you doing?

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Speaker 3: How are you feeling?

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Speaker 2: You know, And so it's a lot different from living

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Speaker 2: alone and not interacting. And I'll give you another good sample.

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Speaker 2: I've got a friend who lives in Memphis, and she

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Speaker 2: lost her husband three years ago, and she won't do

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Speaker 2: something like this, and she's lonesome. She cries all the time,

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Speaker 2: and I tell her, this is what you need to investigate. She's, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm living an old retirement home where everybody's dying. I said, look,

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Speaker 2: we're all dying. Everybody's going to die in life, let's

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Speaker 2: face it. But why don't you get up, you know,

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Speaker 2: become social? I said, We play bridge, I play canasta.

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Speaker 2: I played ping pong with a woman and I think

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Speaker 2: is almost one hundred years old the other day. I mean,

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Speaker 2: yead she I believe she is. And she's fierce. She's

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Speaker 2: left handed. I'm left handed, and we had a fierce game.

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Speaker 2: And we even got one of the residents to chase

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Speaker 2: our ball for us, because that's our problem, having to

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Speaker 2: pick up the ball.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much. And you're talking about this,

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Speaker 1: Is that how you really coped with I think so

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Speaker 1: many people think about, you know, having a spouse and

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Speaker 1: one day one of you will pass. Yes, when that

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Speaker 1: finally happened, were there are a lot of experiences for

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Speaker 1: you that you can speak on to that experience because

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Speaker 1: I feel like so many people go through this. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're never prepared.

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Speaker 2: No, And I do think you need to prepare in

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Speaker 2: advance for something like that. And I had thought that

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Speaker 2: I would stay in Florida because I loved it so much.

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Speaker 2: I was down there for forty years and I lived

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Speaker 2: about twenty five steps from the beach. So it was

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Speaker 2: hard to leave those friends. But I had to weigh,

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Speaker 2: you know, getting closer to my family, that was one

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Speaker 2: thing I had to decide. And then getting rid of

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Speaker 2: all of your things in your house, and how hard

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Speaker 2: that is to give up possessions. I mean as much.

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Speaker 2: You can't bring everything, so you have to make choices

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Speaker 2: and all this. And so I say to other friends

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Speaker 2: that I have not made this kind of decision. You

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Speaker 2: need to start preparing now because it's a big undertaking.

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Speaker 2: And it's interesting enough to say that. When I got

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Speaker 2: ready to sell my house, it was like magic. A

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Speaker 2: man walked up and hit my window and said he

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Speaker 2: wanted me to sign something to beautify the neighborhood. And

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Speaker 2: I said, no, I can't sign anything to beautify the neighborhood.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting ready to leave town. I'm going doing Abe's retirement.

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Speaker 2: He said, well, if you sell your house, all buy it,

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Speaker 2: and I thought, oh, sure, you know, but he's exactly

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Speaker 2: the person that bought the house. And all this came

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Speaker 2: together really fast, and I thought I was like berserk.

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Speaker 2: I thought, well, how am I going to get rid

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Speaker 2: of all this stuff and do all this Well? I

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Speaker 2: called up to Senior Citizens moving and you know what

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Speaker 2: they said to me. They said, we will move your stuff.

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Speaker 2: We'll move it into abes, we'll put the pictures on

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Speaker 2: the wall, your bed will be ready to get into

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Speaker 2: the night. And that was the relief. And I said, well,

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Speaker 2: what about it. I got to do this as state sale.

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Speaker 2: And she said, you know what, I know a real

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Speaker 2: estate agent that'll do your estate. If she sells your house,

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Speaker 2: she will do the estate self for you free. And

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Speaker 2: this all fell into place like a glove, like.

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Speaker 1: It was mat too, exactly exactly exactly.

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Speaker 2: And so it's been a wonderful experience. I say to everybody,

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Speaker 2: do it, do it early, plan early, and get with it,

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Speaker 2: because you don't have a lot of years to live

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Speaker 2: and you might as well live it up and have

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Speaker 2: the best time you have.

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Speaker 1: I love that, I love that you're having so much fun.

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Speaker 1: I like to end just any time I talk with

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Speaker 1: someone a piece of advice if you look back on

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Speaker 1: your life and you want to give anybody just one

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Speaker 1: piece of really important advice. What would it be?

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Speaker 2: I think find ways to be kind to other people.

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Speaker 2: And I think living here, I've been more involved than ever.

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Speaker 2: For example, just little things like I like to send

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Speaker 2: as many people as possible a little birthday card, because

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Speaker 2: they're people here who don't have family and they may

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Speaker 2: not get a birthday card. And so I think giving

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Speaker 2: of yourself, the reward comes back to you. And so

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Speaker 2: I love doing for others, and that would be that

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Speaker 2: advice that I'd give to everybody. Give, give, give, gil

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Speaker 2: because it'll all come back one hundred percent to you.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's such great advice. It was so great talking

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Speaker 1: with you, and I think I could sit here and

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Speaker 1: talk with you all day. You have so much wisdom

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Speaker 1: to share. But thank you for the little bit that

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Speaker 1: you were able to today with me. Thank you very much.

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Speaker 2: I certainly enjoyed the interview and I will you the

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Speaker 2: best as well.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Yay, that was fun.

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Speaker 3: You're great. You're a great on the interview and.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Miss Brenda joins me. Now, Hi Brenda,

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Speaker 1: thanks for coming on. Thank you. I'm really excited. To

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Speaker 1: talk with you, but I want to start with something.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell us how old you are? I'm eighty

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Speaker 1: one eighty one? And what did you spend most of

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Speaker 1: your life doing? Occupation wise?

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Speaker 4: Secretary?

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Speaker 1: Did you ever get married in your life?

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Speaker 3: I did?

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Speaker 1: Did you also have children?

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Speaker 4: I have three?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so this is painting the picture of miss Brenda.

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Speaker 1: You're a secretary? How long were your secretary for?

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Speaker 4: How totally? Probably about ten fifteen years.

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Speaker 1: Did you enjoy that work? Was that who you wanted

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Speaker 1: to do? Okay? Did you learn a lot about dynamics

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Speaker 1: in the workplace when you were a secretary? I imagine

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Speaker 1: you see a lot of things.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I guess I did. I didn't think of it

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Speaker 4: at the time that way, but I think I did.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever want to do anything besides that? Or

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Speaker 1: was that just it? And then you decided to do

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Speaker 1: something else that and just have my family?

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Speaker 3: So?

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Speaker 1: Were you a stay at home mom? Also?

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Speaker 4: I was, okay until my children got up in you know,

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Speaker 4: later in school to take care of themselves. And then

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Speaker 4: I went to part time but it was just across

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Speaker 4: the street and I worked four hours, so I was

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Speaker 4: there when they left go to school, and I was

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Speaker 4: home when they got home. So that worked out perfect.

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Speaker 1: Being a stay at home mom. Was that something that

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Speaker 1: was always the goal for you? Yes? And you look

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Speaker 1: back at your life and that was something you were

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Speaker 1: really happy you did or do you have regrets with

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Speaker 1: that at all?

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Speaker 4: No, I'm glad I was there. My children seemed to

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Speaker 4: enjoy knowing the fact that Mama was going to be

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Speaker 4: home when they came home.

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Speaker 1: What did you learn in that experience of being a

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Speaker 1: stay at home mom. Maybe it was something about yourself,

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was about having kids, or some wisdom to

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Speaker 1: share with people who are trying to decide on their

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Speaker 1: own journeys.

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure it's the right thing for everyone. I

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Speaker 4: think everyone's different. But for me, I was happy. My

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Speaker 4: mother was that way, so I guess I took after

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Speaker 4: my mom. But I was happy being at home. I

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Speaker 4: was content.

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Speaker 1: How long were you and your husband married for?

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Speaker 4: We will celebrate our fifty let me think fifty nine

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Speaker 4: years this year.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 1: What's the secret to that that's fifty nine years together?

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Speaker 1: Is one person.

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Speaker 4: Compromise and don't hold a grudge.

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Speaker 1: There was there a lot of moments where like I

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Speaker 1: could hold this against you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but it wasn't worth it.

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Speaker 1: That's fair. How did you guys meet? Were you high

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Speaker 1: school sweethearts?

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Speaker 4: No? No, I was working when we met through mutual

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Speaker 4: friends when you were a secretary.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Was he somebody higher up or somebody that came in.

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Speaker 4: No, he was in the Air Force. He had come

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Speaker 4: in on leave and I met him at Christmas time?

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Speaker 1: Wow? So being a military spouse, was he he was not.

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Speaker 4: Ready to get out. This was in December and he

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Speaker 4: was discharged in August. Okay, so I wasn't. We didn't

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Speaker 4: get married till after he got out of the service.

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Speaker 1: Was he gone at all when you guys had initially

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Speaker 1: first met.

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Speaker 4: He just come in for Christmas break when we met,

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Speaker 4: and then he had to go back. He was stationed

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Speaker 4: in Tully, Greenland.

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Speaker 1: And then when he came back. How quickly was it

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Speaker 1: you said, you guys decided to get married that next year.

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Speaker 1: Did you have a lot of let s?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: We wrote letters and phone calls. He spent most of

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Speaker 4: his money making long distance phone calls.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: We were very in love with it. Yeah, it was.

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Speaker 4: It was very exciting.

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Speaker 1: What do you feel like that love looks like today?

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Speaker 1: Because after that many years together, a lot of life happens.

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Speaker 4: I think too many people go into it with the

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Speaker 4: expectation it's going to be perfect and if it's not,

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Speaker 4: they can get a divorce and get out of it.

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Speaker 4: But I was in it for the long and we

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Speaker 4: it wasn't perfect, but we learned a compromise.

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Speaker 1: And today is he still with you?

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Speaker 4: He's in a nursing home.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So how does that work? Because I know you

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Speaker 1: are one of the members who comes in for the

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Speaker 1: community programs and he's at a nursing home. So what

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Speaker 1: does that look like today for you guys.

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Speaker 4: I don't get to see him very often. He has

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Speaker 4: Parkinsons and dementia, and he's in the stage of his

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Speaker 4: dementia that most of the time he doesn't know me.

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Speaker 4: He's living in the past. He's still in the service.

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Speaker 1: So even right when you guys first met, Yeah, is

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Speaker 1: that really hard for you to experience because you're also

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Speaker 1: going through your own experience too.

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Speaker 4: It's sad. I have my moments that it makes me

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Speaker 4: really sad and I miss him, But life goes on

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Speaker 4: and I try to make the best of it. That's

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Speaker 4: what I'm here for. This has been a big This

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Speaker 4: has been a big help to me.

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Speaker 1: To come and visit here, Yes, to help with yours

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Speaker 1: or to get you out of your comfort zone a

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Speaker 1: little bit and visit both.

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Speaker 4: Okay, it's done both to me because I was always

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Speaker 4: more or less an introvert and I enjoyed just being

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Speaker 4: by myself, but my daughter thought I needed some socialization.

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Speaker 4: I come to live with her five years ago. This

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Speaker 4: was during the pandemic, and of course I couldn't go

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Speaker 4: see him because he had nursing him not locked down

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Speaker 4: for months, So I had went months without getting to

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Speaker 4: see him. I had taken care of him probably for

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Speaker 4: around ten years in his sickness, and it had kind

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Speaker 4: of taken its toll on my health. And so I've

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Speaker 4: done my healing in the last five years, and APES

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Speaker 4: has been a big part of it.

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Speaker 1: What do you feel like you wish you would have

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Speaker 1: known going from mom to wife too then caregiver towards

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Speaker 1: that part, I'm not really sure, or maybe what were

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Speaker 1: those emotions you were experiencing as things were changing in

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Speaker 1: that direction and you were seeing this happen to him

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Speaker 1: and it was a change that you were going to

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Speaker 1: have to adjust to.

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure I'd done a lot of things differently.

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Speaker 4: I tried to look on the positive side of it.

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Speaker 4: There were fun times. He'd do some funny things, say

399
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Speaker 4: funny things, but he didn't remember them, but I did.

400
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Speaker 4: I wished that had a journal, but hindsight doesn't get

401
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Speaker 4: you very far.

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Speaker 1: So it is hindsight is always twenty twenty. But that's

403
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Speaker 1: also why we love hearing stories, because this is how

404
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Speaker 1: we learn right and hopefully somebody who might be in

405
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Speaker 1: a similar position to you can then start to journal.

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Speaker 4: I wished I had to recognized his illness and downslide earlier.

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Speaker 4: I didn't. I don't know that you know if it

408
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Speaker 4: would have made a big difference, but I feel like

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Speaker 4: it might have.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, though well.

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Speaker 4: I always told him I'd take care of him, and

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Speaker 4: that's what I tried to do the best that I

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Speaker 4: could till he got till he couldn't take care of himself.

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Speaker 4: And I couldn't take care of him because he had

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Speaker 4: had a mini stroke and seizure, and after that he

416
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Speaker 4: was bedridden. And I took care of him as long

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Speaker 4: as I could, and I got to the point that

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Speaker 4: I didn't feel like that I could take care of

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Speaker 4: him the way he deserved. It was the hardest decision

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Speaker 4: ever had to make.

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Speaker 1: What made you ultimately decide to make that decision?

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Speaker 4: Well, I had a little bit influences for my family

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Speaker 4: and my kids. They could see things that I couldn't see.

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Speaker 4: But I knew that the time was getting close. I

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Speaker 4: just tried to ignore it. I didn't want to give up.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a period of grief there that happens.

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Speaker 4: There he is because you, I don't know, there's something

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Speaker 4: final about.

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Speaker 1: It, and a big decision that you had to make. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you're not ready to make it. I don't know

431
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Speaker 1: that you ever would have been probably not well. I

432
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Speaker 1: don't want to just make you talk about sad. So

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Speaker 1: I also would like to hear one of the coolest,

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Speaker 1: most favorite moments of your life if you look back

435
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Speaker 1: on your life and you're like, I will always remember this.

436
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 4: I think the birth of my children.

437
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Speaker 1: Any children in particular, or the very first one, or

438
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Speaker 1: just all.

439
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 4: Of them, all of them, they were all so different. Yeah,

440
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Speaker 4: and my youngest was born prematurely. He was in the

441
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 4: hospital for seventy two days and he couldn't make a

442
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 4: sound when I brought him home. So I had to

443
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 4: transport him by my side everywhere I went was challenge.

444
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 4: But now he's a healthy young man. I call him

445
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 4: young it makes me feel better.

446
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: Hey, you can call him whatever you want, whatever makes

447
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 1: you feel better.

448
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 4: But I think it was the birth of our children

449
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 4: because we were both extremely happy when he found out

450
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 4: we found out I was pregnant.

451
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: That's probably a cool memory to look back on. And

452
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: you think about that moment, especially the first one.

453
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 4: I love being pregnant. I just got cheated out of

454
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 4: a lot of them because I went in laborly.

455
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 1: You got cheated after nine months. I don't thinkgo nine

456
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,920
Speaker 1: months really on all of them or just.

457
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:43,959
Speaker 4: Well Brenda, my daughter, the oldest one was three weeks

458
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 4: premature and I was still working. And my second son,

459
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 4: I was in the bed for two months before he

460
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 4: was born. And my third one comes so fast that

461
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 4: he was probably two two and a half three months

462
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 4: pre mature, so he was in the hospital for seventy

463
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 4: two days.

464
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: But all healthy now.

465
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 4: Yes, thank the Lord.

466
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,479
Speaker 1: It probably didn't feel like that when it was happening. No,

467
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 1: I was terrified, understandably, So when you look back at

468
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: all these moments too, is there any regrets that you

469
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: have or things that you wish you would have done

470
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: that you didn't do.

471
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 4: I'm really sure about that one. It's something that I

472
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 4: don't think a lot about, but.

473
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: It sounds to me like you don't have a lot,

474
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: and I think that's a pretty good thing. It sounds

475
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: like you did a lot of things that you wanted

476
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: to do.

477
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 4: I think I did. I think I did looking.

478
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: Back, I love that well. I like to end on

479
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 1: a little piece of advice or motivation or inspiration. Is

480
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 1: there anything that you can think of that you would

481
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: love to share and make sure maybe other people your

482
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:58,360
Speaker 1: age or younger people as they're getting older, need to.

483
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 4: Hear take it one day at a time and enjoy

484
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 4: your day.

485
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: It's a very important reminder.

486
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 4: We're not guaranteed tomorrow, so enjoy your day.

487
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing your life with us and your story.

488
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: And it was really good getting to talk to you.

489
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 1: It's not talking with you, war joins me. Right now,

490
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 1: high ward, How are you, Morgan?

491
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 3: I'm doing fine. How are you?

492
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: Thank you for doing this with me my pleasure. Is

493
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: this your first podcast?

494
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 3: It is.

495
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: We got a lot of first today and I love it.

496
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 3: But I listened to a lot of podcasts.

497
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: Okay, late at night, you listen to like Serial Murder

498
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: dot podcast or something late at night.

499
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 3: I don't want to tell you that I listened to

500
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 3: stuff about the politics going on and that sort of thing.

501
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:56,400
Speaker 1: Okay, much more serious.

502
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 3: It's entertaining, Okay.

503
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 1: Entertain we like it. Lor Do you have somebody in

504
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: this room with you that I would love for you

505
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 1: to talk about? But first off, can you tell everybody

506
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: how old you are?

507
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 3: Yes? I can. I am eighty seven years old.

508
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 1: Eighty seven years young, I would say, And you got

509
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: a beautiful bride in here with you that you guys

510
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: have been married for how long?

511
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 3: Sixty four years?

512
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 1: What's her name?

513
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 3: Deanna?

514
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 1: What is the secret to be married that long?

515
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 3: Always say yes, ma'am.

516
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: Always saying yes, ma'am. You never said no.

517
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 3: No, Oh, I may have.

518
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. I hear her, I hear her

519
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: disagreeing right now.

520
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: No. I think too many people think that they've got

521
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 3: to be right all the time in a marriage, and

522
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 3: you don't. You cannot be right all the time, So

523
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 3: you need to be flexible. You need to give and

524
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 3: take and say yes, ma'am, we'll work it out.

525
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 1: I love that. How did you guys meet?

526
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 3: We met at the fraternity house at FSU and they

527
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: were having a dance that night, and I came in

528
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 3: from work and I saw Deanna dancing with one of

529
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 3: my fraternity brothers who happened to be a pledge. And

530
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 3: of course you probably know pledges or they're a little freshman.

531
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 3: So I said to myself, ward, that girl really does

532
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 3: look great. So I went up and tapped him on

533
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 3: the shoulder, which in those days was an indication that

534
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 3: he was to give up dancing with her and I

535
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 3: and from there on that was it. Wow, we both

536
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 3: got hit by the bug.

537
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 1: Was it love at first sight?

538
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 3: Yes?

539
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: What was that feeling like when you first saw her?

540
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 3: And just really she was gorgeously had long blonde hair,

541
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 3: and when I danced with her, I smell so good.

542
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 1: So does she still have the same perfume that that

543
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 1: night she was dancing with it?

544
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: I doubt it. I'm not too sure what perfume she

545
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 3: had on, but boy was it nice? Uh?

546
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 1: Oh, it captured you. Yes, what was one of your

547
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 1: guys's favorite moments over the course of your groce's marriage

548
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: And you look back on it.

549
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 3: The opportunity that we had to travel together to Europe

550
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 3: several times and see things that we never would have done.

551
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 3: But we said, we're going to spend our money while

552
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 3: we can and we're healthy, and so we went I

553
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 3: think ten or eleven times to Europe and different places, France, Italy,

554
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 3: all over.

555
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,239
Speaker 1: And did you take her on some dancing in some

556
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: more streets in those places or.

557
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 3: Yes, As a matter of fact, we had a nice

558
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 3: dancing opportunity a little restaurant outside of a restaurant. I'll

559
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 3: have to tell you this little quick story. We danced

560
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 3: and they had a band there and they were playing

561
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 3: our kind of music, which is not the kind of

562
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 3: music you hear to today's genre. But anyway, we danced

563
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 3: and then we sat down and having a drink, and

564
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 3: in the meantime, a very good looking, blond headed girl

565
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 3: came in by herself and she sat down across the

566
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 3: table across the dance floor from us, and we said

567
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 3: she's nice, and Dennis say, she sure is. In a

568
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 3: few minutes, this single guy comes in and he takes

569
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 3: up with the girl and buys her a drink and

570
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 3: they dance, and you wouldn't have believed how marvelous they

571
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 3: were together. They were just like fred Astaire and whoever

572
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 3: else he danced with. So after it was over, we

573
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 3: went up and told them how much we loved their dancing,

574
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 3: and we asked him where they were from and he said,

575
00:29:51,120 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 3: we're from Panamont City. Oh we're married. Thought this thought

576
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 3: he had picked her up and they guys, you guys

577
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 3: are great and what a good story to tell.

578
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 1: So so did you guys get out on the dance

579
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: floor when they were dancing.

580
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 3: Yes?

581
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: What was your guys's favorite dance to do together?

582
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 3: Oh, that's easy. Besides the slow dance, we love disco?

583
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: Is that where you do the like pointy little fingers?

584
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: Is there more to people do that? We took me.

585
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 3: No, we really liked the disco. And as a matter

586
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 3: of fact, in Jacksonville, where we were from, they had

587
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 3: a dance contest one night done at the hoe down

588
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 3: to the place on the river in Jacksonville, and we

589
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: danced there and danced. We won second place.

590
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: That's amazing. So dancing was a big part of your guys'

591
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 1: relations very much. What were some other big things that

592
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 1: were part of your guys's relationship.

593
00:30:55,400 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 3: Marriage, having family for dinner and having people in for football, games,

594
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 3: and Deanna is a musician, and all the time had

595
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 3: musician friends of ours that we got together with. And

596
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 3: we had a nice grandfiena in the living room, and

597
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 3: so she would play some of it, and Everyboddy who's

598
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 3: a great pianists, they'd play something. They play it together,

599
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 3: and we sang. And Dianna was a choral director, and

600
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 3: so music was really part of our and still is

601
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 3: a part of our life. Of course we don't participate

602
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 3: like we used to, but we still like it.

603
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: And you guys have kids, because I know one of

604
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 1: your daughter is here. She your only daughter, do you

605
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: guys have.

606
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 3: We got another daughter, Aaron. She happens to be out

607
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 3: of town today and they each have three children and

608
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 3: my only granddaughter. She is currently in London studying music.

609
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 3: She hopes some data make us very proud of her.

610
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 3: And some money maybe some money.

611
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: Everybody needs money, right, Oh guys, Yeah, what's it been

612
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: like for you to get to witness not only your

613
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: kids grow up and become parents, but now also getting

614
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: to see your grandchildren and watch them pursue dreams and

615
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: great grandchildren and great grandchildren too.

616
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 3: Great granddaughters. Wow, who are just the love of Kim's life.

617
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: They're her grandchildren and we just love seeing what they're

618
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 3: doing and it's just a real joy to be a

619
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 3: part of their lives, maybe not as actively as we'd

620
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 3: like to. Life takes curious curves and sometimes you just

621
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 3: have to say, let's just do the best we can.

622
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 4: And what was.

623
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 1: One of those curveballs that you guys got faced at

624
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: one point in your life.

625
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 3: Deanna had a stroke twelve years ago and I was

626
00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 3: her primary caregiver and we're very sad, of course about that.

627
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: That put her back because she lost the use of

628
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 3: her right side and her voice being able to talk.

629
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 3: And we for years lived independently in a house in Franklin,

630
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 3: and then we moved into an apartment in Nashville, and

631
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 3: ultimately our children come and air and said, Daddy and Mom,

632
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 3: y'all need to be around some people. These people are

633
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 3: in an apartment complex. They're the age of Morgan. They're

634
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 3: nice people, they're nice looking, and they're very hospitable, but

635
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 3: they're just passing through in apartments around here. People don't

636
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 3: move into an apartment these days with the intention of

637
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 3: staying there very long. So they said, you really, y'all

638
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 3: really ought to think about moving into a senior living facility,

639
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 3: and we're so happy that we did because we do

640
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: have another life now. We've got friends and aves garden.

641
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 3: It's a very wonderful place to live. If so many activities,

642
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 3: it keeps you busy all the time, but good food,

643
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 3: good friends, and the opportunity to do things like this

644
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 3: did when.

645
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 1: That first happened and your daughters were coming to you

646
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: guys and said, we think it's time you guys live here.

647
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,439
Speaker 1: Was there some pushback for you guys?

648
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 3: Was that scary from the cost point of view? I said,

649
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 3: I don't know whether we'd afford that or not. They said,

650
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 3: don't worry about It'll all work out, sort of like

651
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 3: me I used to tell somebody. I asked, don't worry

652
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 3: about it'll all work out.

653
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: Has things always in life just worked out how they

654
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: were supposed to.

655
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 3: They've worked out, maybe not like they're not like I

656
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 3: had hope that they might. But my health has suffered

657
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 3: in the last several months, which has caused some reason

658
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 3: for us to have to be in to assisted living

659
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 3: rather than independent living, which is not some way that

660
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 3: I ever thought that I'd have to be taken care of.

661
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 3: But I'm happy that where I am that I can

662
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 3: be taken so carefully and taken care of and trying

663
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 3: to help me where I don't fall as much. It's

664
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 3: changed our lives.

665
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 1: When you look at your life and you see the

666
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,360
Speaker 1: age progress and as you've gotten older. What's been hard

667
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: about that for you?

668
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:34,280
Speaker 3: Probably realizing that like it did maybe ten years ago

669
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 3: eight I don't know exactly, but woke up and went

670
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 3: in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and I said, damn,

671
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 3: who is the hat? Who the hell is that old man? Seriously,

672
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 3: all of a sudden it hits you that you're not

673
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 3: fifty anymore, and you're not able to go climb a

674
00:35:54,520 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 3: mountain or go swimming there. So it's a complete structure change.

675
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 3: And so that's where we are just having to say,

676
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 3: let's just take it the way it is.

677
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: There's a lot of changes that come with it, and

678
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 1: a lot of changes that happened in the course of

679
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 1: all of that. As you look back on your life

680
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: and you're seeing everything, is there anything that you regret

681
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,760
Speaker 1: doing or not doing?

682
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 3: I wish I had started reading more early on. I

683
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:38,919
Speaker 3: didn't really start reading books until maybe three years ago,

684
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 3: and I've really enjoyed the reading aspect of things. It

685
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 3: doesn't matter what it is. And I've read a book

686
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 3: about carpenters and men who built cathedrals in the eleven

687
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:55,800
Speaker 3: hundreds and enjoyed every minute or a big thick book.

688
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 3: I never thought i'd read anything like that, but I

689
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 3: enjoy all kinds of reading. I've read a lot of

690
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 3: art books about it, people like Jay Edgar Hoover, and

691
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 3: I can't think but writers that have written good mystery

692
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 3: model and novels answer your questions. I think I wish

693
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 3: I had started earlier reading.

694
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: What about in your marriage or with your children? Is

695
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: there anything there that you look at and you could

696
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,240
Speaker 1: have changed or would have done in a different direction.

697
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 3: No, I don't think so.

698
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: Do they feel good when you think about that? And

699
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,360
Speaker 1: you're like, I feel really good that I did what

700
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: I needed to do?

701
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 3: And I think so. I had never really thought about

702
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 3: it that way, but I'm happy with the way they

703
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 3: turned out and that so it's okay.

704
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 1: What's one of your favorite things to do now at

705
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 1: this point in your life, and you guys are at

706
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 1: the senior living community, what's one of your favorite things

707
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: to do? Activities?

708
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 3: Maybe go to lunch someplace like I don't know adults.

709
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,280
Speaker 1: Adults okay, I love that.

710
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,919
Speaker 3: That's our favorite restaurant to go to. We don't get

711
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 3: out and go places like we used to, so it's hard.

712
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 1: To say that's okay adult. Sounds like a fun time

713
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: for lunch.

714
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 3: It is like.

715
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: We got an agreement over there for your life.

716
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 3: Likes it very much, and some places we don't like

717
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 3: to go to. But anyway, was.

718
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: There anything you learned from being married about yourself that

719
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:36,240
Speaker 1: you didn't anticipate? Because I see her over there, she's.

720
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 3: Smiling, that I learned about myself that I probably don't

721
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:46,879
Speaker 3: have the patience that I wished I had with her.

722
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 3: A lot of times I get very frustrated, and then

723
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 3: I say, I'm gonna do that word. She's doing the

724
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 3: best she can with what she's got to handle, and

725
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 3: you don't need to add to that stress word.

726
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,959
Speaker 1: You've shared so much with us, and there's always something

727
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: I love to end on in it. So the piece

728
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 1: of advice or inspiration or motivation, however you would like

729
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: to end this to share with people. Maybe they're your age,

730
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 1: maybe they're younger.

731
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 3: I think probably whatever age, don't give up your dream,

732
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 3: hang in there if it takes it a little longer

733
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,959
Speaker 3: than you thought it would, or maybe cost a little

734
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,240
Speaker 3: bit more, or but don't give up a dream.

735
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: What was your.

736
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:39,280
Speaker 3: Dream to live to be ninety four?

737
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: You're almost there? Are you proud of that?

738
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 3: Yeah?

739
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 1: That's pretty awesome. You have a secret to your long life.

740
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 3: Oh, maybe three bourbons tonight?

741
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 1: All right, I'll take it. I need to go buy

742
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: some bourbon. Thank you Ward for being here sharing your story.

743
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. It's a pleasure.

744
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 1: Miss Shirley joins me. Now, Hi, Shirley, how are you.

745
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 5: I'm fine? How are you?

746
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: I'm good? Thank you for coming on.

747
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 5: Oh, I'm glad to do it.

748
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to start this by having everybody kind of

749
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 1: paid a picture of who you are. So we're going

750
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: to start with your age and your occupation you had

751
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: most of your life, and if you were ever married. Okay, okay,

752
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 1: So start with age.

753
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 5: I'm ninety okay, and I've had several jobs. But my

754
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 5: last job I retired from. It was at Vanderbilt in

755
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 5: human resources.

756
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,879
Speaker 1: Okay are yeah.

757
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 5: And it was for both the hospital and the university.

758
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:55,279
Speaker 5: The human resources handled both the hospital and the university.

759
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,240
Speaker 5: So it was pretty big job.

760
00:40:58,560 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a huge job.

761
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 5: And were you married yes, long time.

762
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: Ago, long time ago. Did you have any children?

763
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 5: I have two daughters. I have four grandchildren and their

764
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:16,240
Speaker 5: spouses and they all live in Nashville, which I'm very lucky.

765
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 1: And you also mentioned some grand puppies too.

766
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, I've had a lot of grandpuppies. They were

767
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,800
Speaker 5: cavaliers and beautiful. Yes, I loved them.

768
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,240
Speaker 1: Misterally, what do you feel like looking back on your life?

769
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: Was your most favorite moment or the most rewarding for you?

770
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 1: And there can be a few, but what would you

771
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,839
Speaker 1: highlight if you looked back on your life, any one

772
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: of them in.

773
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 6: Particular or just all Well, the first one, you know,

774
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 6: of course, is the most amazing thing, but then you

775
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 6: found that the second one you loved just as much.

776
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, so that was really my happiest moments.

777
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: What about outside of your children, any personal moments for you?

778
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 5: Not really just normal yeah, yeah, okay.

779
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 1: And thinking of your children and all the people out

780
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 1: there who decided to have kids, why for you was

781
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 1: it important that you had kids.

782
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 5: I always wanted to be a mother and a wife

783
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 5: and have a house. I had no career desires at all.

784
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,359
Speaker 5: It was all family. Now, it's a long time ago.

785
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,359
Speaker 1: When you had your kids for you to stay at

786
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: home mom, Yes, what was that experience like for you?

787
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 3: Great?

788
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 5: I loved it room mom and all the bacon cookies

789
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 5: of just doing a lot of things for the teachers,

790
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,839
Speaker 5: and it was really enjoyable.

791
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: When the kids finally left, is that when you started

792
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: to look at your career?

793
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 3: Uh?

794
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 5: Actually, and I got divorced, is when I started looking

795
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 5: for a career. And I had several jobs, but the

796
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 5: best one was one I had when I lived in

797
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 5: Chattanooga for a manufacturing company and then the one in

798
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 5: Nashville at VANDWILT. So both I were really good jobs

799
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 5: and I loved working, and the children were out of

800
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,280
Speaker 5: the nest, so that made it easier.

801
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 1: And based on what you just told me, you had

802
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: always wanted to be a wife and a mother. So

803
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: when you got divorced, was that a difficult life change? Yes?

804
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 3: It was.

805
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: What were those kind of experiences like for you? Is

806
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 1: that all was happening?

807
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 5: The experience was that I had the happiest years of

808
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 5: my life when I was married, and I had the

809
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 5: worst years of my life. The second part of my marriage.

810
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: Wow, did you ever think that you wanted to get remarried?

811
00:43:59,120 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 3: No?

812
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 1: Never, never looked, never dated or anything.

813
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:06,320
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, we did do some dating, but I've

814
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 5: found too many things that I knew wouldn't work, you know,

815
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 5: so I stayed single.

816
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: What ultimately made you make the choice that you were

817
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: just gonna stay single?

818
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 5: Oh? I never found anybody. Anybody that I found that

819
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 5: hung around for a long time. I just got used

820
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 5: to but I knew I couldn't marry them because we

821
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:37,720
Speaker 5: got other children involved and there were just too many problems.

822
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: And what's that experience like been for you? Now? As

823
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 1: you have been single and you're now ninety, do you

824
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: feel like you learned a lot about yourself?

825
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 3: Oh?

826
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, what did you learn?

827
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 5: I've learned that being old is not the worst thing

828
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 5: in the world, and I love not working at all,

829
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,479
Speaker 5: and I have a good time.

830
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 1: What do you do now? What's your favorite things to

831
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: go do?

832
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 5: My favorite things, of course, is with my family, and

833
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:11,359
Speaker 5: we celebrate all the holidays and we're very close. And

834
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 5: even with my grandchildren, I'm close to them and they're fun,

835
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 5: they're good people. I'm so pleased with the way my

836
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 5: daughters have turned out and so proud of what they've

837
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 5: done with their children.

838
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,479
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that, and that's to make me really

839
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 1: proud now.

840
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 5: And the men that they married, they're like my sons.

841
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:40,280
Speaker 5: I love them. They are the best guys in the world.

842
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 5: And even my grandchildren's spouses I really love.

843
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: Has it been a cool experience for you to get

844
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: to see your grandchildren get married. Yes.

845
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 5: In fact, since I've been at aides, all four of

846
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 5: them have married. I've had one. They're close to the

847
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 5: same Adah. Now we're having babies.

848
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: So the great grandchildren now, yes, yes, and they are precious.

849
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 1: What are the three What are those emotions like for

850
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: you to get to be around with your great grandchildren.

851
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 5: Actually, I'm around them a lot, but they're so young.

852
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:25,800
Speaker 5: But the grandchildren send me videos and pictures every day,

853
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 5: and so it's like watching them grow up. And I

854
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 5: don't wore people with pictures because I know how I

855
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 5: feel about pictures when you're looking for them in your camera.

856
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 1: You don't like searching through the camera roll.

857
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 5: No, it takes too long to get to the pictures.

858
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 5: So I don't share many. Once in a while, the

859
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 5: one that's really good, I'll and when they're new. When

860
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 5: the babies are new, I show a picture, but I

861
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 5: don't show everything that I get.

862
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 1: Oh, and it sounds like one of your proudest accomplishments.

863
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:07,320
Speaker 1: For those people out there who are on the fence

864
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: of having kids, if they're like, I don't know if

865
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: I want to do this or I definitely want to

866
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 1: do this, what would you tell to those on the

867
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: fencers looking back at your life.

868
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 5: It's a totally different world now, and there's a lot

869
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 5: I mean, I think you need children, but sometimes I

870
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 5: wonder about this world, how it's going to turn out,

871
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 5: and I just see a lot of problems coming.

872
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:40,320
Speaker 1: Does it feel scary to know that where the world

873
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 1: is now and there will be a time where your

874
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: kids will no longer have you? Is that a scary

875
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 1: thing to think about? Yeah?

876
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 5: I hate to think about them being sad, and I

877
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 5: know that we'll be and but you know, I know

878
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 5: it's coming, so I don't know.

879
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 1: Well, look at you at ninety, I think you're gonna

880
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 1: be around for a very long time.

881
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 5: I'd like to make it to one hundred.

882
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, is that the goal? That would be amazing? And

883
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,399
Speaker 1: you look so awesome. So what's your secrets? You're ninety

884
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 1: years old, surely you're doing awesome. Healthy genes, healthy genes. Okay,

885
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 1: any other special secrets.

886
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 5: I exercise a lot and always have very important. Yeah.

887
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 1: Do you have a favorite exercise?

888
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 5: Well, used to walking, and I'll walk so much in

889
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 5: my life, But now I enjoyed the exercise that we

890
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 5: have at age. It's very good.

891
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.

892
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 3: Yes.

893
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 1: And when you look about out your life, is there

894
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:44,280
Speaker 1: any regrets that you have or things that you wish

895
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 1: you would have done or wish you didn't do.

896
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 5: I wish I hadn't become disabled as I've been this

897
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 5: whip about ten years now, and I was traveling a

898
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 5: lot and I don't travel anymore, and I guess probably,

899
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 5: but I couldn't, So I think that's one thing that

900
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 5: I missed. I've traveled a lot, but I could have

901
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 5: done more.

902
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:15,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, traveling more. And we always like to end

903
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 1: on a little piece with someone with some advice or

904
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: motivation or inspiration, so you can can you leave us

905
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: with something here?

906
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 5: Yes? I can't, Especially with people who are going to

907
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 5: move into a place like this. You've got to learn

908
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:38,279
Speaker 5: to accept things that kind of get on your nerve,

909
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:45,280
Speaker 5: like telephones ringing all the time, and everybody being late

910
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:49,880
Speaker 5: at any activity. Not everybody, but lots of people being late.

911
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 5: But you just gotta let it go, you know. And

912
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 5: it doesn't even bother me anymore. Just I et am

913
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:00,439
Speaker 5: late sometimes.

914
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 1: Learn to just live life on your own time alones. Yes, well,

915
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 1: miss Shirley, thank you for taking time and sharing your

916
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 1: story with us, having me. Thank you guys for listening

917
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 1: to this podcast and allowing me the space to bring

918
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 1: on this crew that I've loved getting to know over

919
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 1: the years, and the wonderful residents who Remy and I

920
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: love to go visit at Apes Garden. Be sure to

921
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 1: subscribe to the podcast and share on social media if

922
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 1: you are loving it, That helps out big time. But

923
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 1: more than anything, I'm just happy that you're here. So

924
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you guys next week.