Speaker 1: Attention, Gek Nation. I am going on tour across the
Speaker 1: US to nine different cities to be a Gecko and
Speaker 1: talk to people just like I do on this podcast,
Speaker 1: except I will be on a stage at a place
Speaker 1: doing it live. If you want to come see the
Speaker 1: podcast live, tickets are available now for these cities Washington,
Speaker 1: d C. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, New York City, Boston, Massachusetts, Miami, Florida, Chicago, Illinois, Denver, Colorado, Nashville, Tennessee,
Speaker 1: and Seattle, Washington. So if you live in any of
Speaker 1: those cities and you want to come catch the podcast live,
Speaker 1: the link to buy tickets will be in the episode description.
Speaker 1: The tickets will sell out fast, so if you want
Speaker 1: to go, you should get them now. Anyway, let's get
Speaker 1: into the calls. Hello, Hello, Gek, Hey, is this Shelby?
Speaker 2: Yes it is.
Speaker 1: How is life going go?
Speaker 3: Actually? Really well?
Speaker 1: You said everything is good? Things are going up for you?
Speaker 1: That's good?
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: What's what's been going up? What's what's happening? That is
Speaker 1: so so well?
Speaker 3: I just felt a lot more relieved lately. I'm just
Speaker 3: so happier, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Okay, can you can you peg that to anything, or
Speaker 1: it's just sort of an arethrow feeling.
Speaker 3: I don't like my family life is good. My life is
Speaker 3: my family and my boyfriend and things like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, you're in a better place than before.
Speaker 3: You say, yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, Shelby, it says you were legally adopted by your
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend's parents. What's that story?
Speaker 3: Yes, sir, so I dated this guy for like three years,
Speaker 3: and you know, when you know, when the time came, like,
Speaker 3: you know, we broke up, and then I created like
Speaker 3: a really good relationship with his parents. So when we
Speaker 3: broke up, I really didn't have anywhere to go. So
Speaker 3: I asked his parents if I can move back in,
Speaker 3: and you know, they were kind of already preparing for it.
Speaker 3: So I moved back in with them, and it's kind
Speaker 3: of a history from there. They take me in, you know,
Speaker 3: as their own childs and everything. I have an amazing
Speaker 3: relationship with them. It's a little it's a little bizarre,
Speaker 3: but I understand.
Speaker 1: So, okay, tell me this. You were dating this guy.
Speaker 1: How long have you dated this guy for?
Speaker 3: For almost three years?
Speaker 1: So you dated this guy for three years and then
Speaker 1: you had nowhere else to go. So his parents legally
Speaker 1: adopted you when you guys broke up. How old are
Speaker 1: you when this happened.
Speaker 3: I was nineteen, so we got together when I was sixteen,
Speaker 3: so I've none them for like a while.
Speaker 1: Can you get well, how do you get legal? Can
Speaker 1: you get legally adopted by someone at the age of nineteen?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I mean you can sign like your
Speaker 3: papers over for them to be your legal guardians, if
Speaker 3: that makes sense. I kind of simplify it as to
Speaker 3: like being adopted, but they're my legal guardians.
Speaker 1: Do you can did? What do you have a legal
Speaker 1: guardian when you're nineteen?
Speaker 3: So my mom wasn't really around, like she left when
Speaker 3: I was about eight years old, and then I passed
Speaker 3: away a little after I moved in with them, and
Speaker 3: then my biological side of my family is just a
Speaker 3: little weird and I don't really speak with them that
Speaker 3: often and I don't really trust them. So I had,
Speaker 3: you know, my ex boyfriend's parents take over, you know,
Speaker 3: the parental responsibilities, right.
Speaker 1: Uh, well, no, I was just talking about how if
Speaker 1: you're nineteen, I don't know if you need a legal guardian, but.
Speaker 3: Like the legalities, yeah you don't. But it's like if
Speaker 3: anything were to happen to me. I wouldn't want my
Speaker 3: biological family to be the ones to make that choice
Speaker 3: if anything would have happened to me, like if you
Speaker 3: got to pull the plug or some shit like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, that makes sense. Honestly, it's not really that important.
Speaker 1: So tell me that feel better? So tell me this.
Speaker 1: Tell me this. Okay, so you used to be really
Speaker 1: with them when you're in nineteen, so tell me this.
Speaker 1: What is your relationship like with the ex boyfriend? How
Speaker 1: does he fit into all this? Uh?
Speaker 3: None of us talk to him. Actually about a year
Speaker 3: and a half of us dating, he he really he
Speaker 3: really fucked up. Like like his relationship with his parents,
Speaker 3: he he really just blew it. So his parents just
Speaker 3: didn't really want anything to do them, Like they obviously
Speaker 3: love him, but there were just things that he was
Speaker 3: doing where they kind of just had to turn away
Speaker 3: and just be like, all right, you do you and
Speaker 3: then whenever you're ready even come back. But they had
Speaker 3: he hasn't contacted them in a long time, so all
Speaker 3: of us kind of just keep moving forward, I guess,
Speaker 3: but I for him really.
Speaker 1: Well, well let's get into this. What what the timeline here?
Speaker 1: You break up? With your boyfriends and then almost immediately
Speaker 1: it sounds you start living with his parents.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we broke up Valentine's Day night of twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: So I kind of just packed up all my stuff
Speaker 3: and called his call, called his mom. I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm done, Will you pick me up? And she was like,
Speaker 3: I already got my shoes on.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: Okay, the night that you guys broke up, What was
Speaker 1: the relationship like between your ex boyfriend and his parents.
Speaker 3: Oh, they didn't. They didn't speak in that at all.
Speaker 3: They they were really disappointed. They they kind of saw
Speaker 3: it coming by just everything that he was doing to
Speaker 3: me and to them, and okay, they just didn't really have.
Speaker 1: What tell me, Well, okay, tell me, tell me. What
Speaker 1: is it that the boyfriend and did to make his
Speaker 1: parents discontinue their relationship with him? Oh?
Speaker 3: Just not keeping up with responsibilities and just being an adult.
Speaker 3: Like I lived with him, like I had an apartment
Speaker 3: with him and everything. And it's not like things were
Speaker 3: going good or anything. We always really had problems. But
Speaker 3: I was in high school of a sophomore in high school,
Speaker 3: and I had three jobs. I was paying most of
Speaker 3: the rent I paid for just about everything, and he
Speaker 3: could barely hold his weight with his parents. That his
Speaker 3: parents kind of always tried to implement that worth work
Speaker 3: ethic in him.
Speaker 1: Well, Shelby, you know we're talking about him where I'm
Speaker 1: talking about what what things did he do to make them?
Speaker 1: I mean to selling your son like that. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's like, that's a really big deal. I'm looking for, Like,
Speaker 1: what is the you know, besides him not having a
Speaker 1: job at sixteen, what is the thing?
Speaker 3: He was just absolutely narcissistic. He thought it was his
Speaker 3: way or nothing. He was very abusive with his words
Speaker 3: and making people feel guilty, and he would always try
Speaker 3: to make people feel bad for him in that sort
Speaker 3: of way. I don't I don't really know how to
Speaker 3: explain that without being too intrusive and over sharing, if
Speaker 3: that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Sure, I mean, yeah, you know, this is your story
Speaker 1: in your life. It's just to me, you know, an
Speaker 1: interesting thing that they're like, you know, trading the son
Speaker 1: for you know, his ex girlfriend. And I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get to the bottom as to why and what's going
Speaker 1: on with him and if he's still in the picture,
Speaker 1: and why he's not in the picture and all of that.
Speaker 3: Well, he's not really in the picture because he doesn't
Speaker 3: reach out. I would say if he reached out and
Speaker 3: just showed that he was doing better. You know, last
Speaker 3: time I heard like he was living in his car,
Speaker 3: and you know, we always argued about bills and things
Speaker 3: like that because he was always borrowing money from people
Speaker 3: and just taking so much from other people to where
Speaker 3: they didn't even want to talk to him anymore because
Speaker 3: of how much he was taking and not giving. Or
Speaker 3: he would always lie about things and go behind you know,
Speaker 3: people's back that were like trying to help him, Like
Speaker 3: everyone gave him so much help and he just kind
Speaker 3: of screwed it all up.
Speaker 1: I would think I would say, Okay, well, I'll listen.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that things are going better with
Speaker 1: with with you. You know, I hope that you know,
Speaker 1: this guy feels like he's in a position where he
Speaker 1: can come back to his parents, you know, if he
Speaker 1: wants to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, if it wouldn't really affect anything in my life,
Speaker 3: if that makes sense. It did make dating a little
Speaker 3: bit hard for me, trying to explain that when I
Speaker 3: wanted to have a relationship with somebody, I feel like
Speaker 3: a little intimidating.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Yeah, I mean it's a whole it's
Speaker 1: it's a strange situation. I'm not going to pretend like
Speaker 1: I have all the details on this, but I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you are doing well. And i mean, what, you're
Speaker 1: twenty one now, are you? Are you? Do you still
Speaker 1: live with them?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I still live with them. There's really no rush to
Speaker 3: move out, honestly, Okay.
Speaker 1: Are you playing? Are you planning on moving out at all?
Speaker 3: But yeah, probably in the future, live in the next
Speaker 3: few years. I love them that I have a great
Speaker 3: relationship with them, my mom and my dad, my sister
Speaker 3: and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Uh, you were so we gloss over? Does he Is
Speaker 1: there a sibling in this as well?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, so so your ex boyfriend's sister, Yeah okay, so
Speaker 1: and you can you consider her your sister?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Of course, Okay, And you and so and your ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend's mom and dad? Do you call them mom and
Speaker 1: dad too?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It's with the tricky situation. I mean, I obviously consider them,
Speaker 3: you know, my parents and my sister. I've been with
Speaker 3: them for so long and they treat me like family,
Speaker 3: you know. I fonnies uh. They yeah, but I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: What do you what are you trying to explain?
Speaker 3: I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: What's your relationship like with the sister?
Speaker 3: And it's good, It's it's just sibling. I mean, we
Speaker 3: live in the same house together. We have a lot
Speaker 3: of things in commons. I don't know. Okay, well, listen,
Speaker 3: person close to my age, So is.
Speaker 1: There anything else you want to say to the people
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go.
Speaker 3: Shout out to my mom, my dad, and my sister.
Speaker 4: I love them.
Speaker 3: And also shout out to Avery and Keel. Avery's honestly
Speaker 3: my biggest hater.
Speaker 1: Who's Avery?
Speaker 3: Avery is uh one of my friends that I work with,
Speaker 3: and I actually put them onto the podcast and he
Speaker 3: really liked it, and I always told him that I
Speaker 3: was going to get in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful, Well, thanks for calling Shelby. Thank you, as
Speaker 1: I say, okay, chat. Did anyone else get very strange
Speaker 1: vibes from that call? Am I am I crazy? Or
Speaker 1: did anyone else get very very strange vibes from that call?
Speaker 1: I do not know what to do with that at all,
Speaker 1: because here's here was the thing, and I was going
Speaker 1: to bring this up with her and whatever, because like
Speaker 1: she literally fucking this man's family and here was here
Speaker 1: was my problem. And I just wasn't going to keep
Speaker 1: pressing her on it because whatever. But I tried to
Speaker 1: ask her what he did, and she wouldn't fucking say
Speaker 1: what he did. She wouldn't say anything that he did.
Speaker 1: She just will we couldn't. We would. She would say
Speaker 1: he messed up this and that I have It's so crazy,
Speaker 1: it's that was that was bizarre to me. Okay, she
Speaker 1: wouldn't say what he did. And then I asked her
Speaker 1: about like, and then I did try to press her
Speaker 1: on it, and she said, yeah, when I was sixteen,
Speaker 1: I had three jobs. What is that? Okay? But that
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with him, do you Why are
Speaker 1: you talking about you having three jobs when you're sixteen?
Speaker 1: Is that like he didn't have enough jobs? What happened?
Speaker 1: Did I let her go to I really needed to
Speaker 1: know what happened. I tried pressing on it, and I
Speaker 1: feel like I wasn't gonna get it. What do you mean?
Speaker 1: She said? He wouldn't pay rent. If you're sixteen and
Speaker 1: you're living with your family, you shouldn't have to pay rent. God,
Speaker 1: I wish I could talk to the boyfriend. I really do. Hey, listen,
Speaker 1: if you're if you're the boy if you're this girl's
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend, and you're hearing this podcast and you're out there,
Speaker 1: please call in. I am dying to get this story
Speaker 1: from your perspective, because it's it's it's weird. It definitely
Speaker 1: feels weird to me. I don't know how I would
Speaker 1: feel if I was that guy, and you know my mind,
Speaker 1: and I don't I fucking don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: what this guy did. But so I know this guy's young.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, you know, the dudes whatever he was.
Speaker 1: He was seventeen when all this stuff is going on.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's super that we definitely did not
Speaker 1: have the full story on that. I feel a little
Speaker 1: bit weird that I don't know if we're ever going
Speaker 1: to get it. But yeah, that whole thing had weird
Speaker 1: vibes to me. Hello, how are you?
Speaker 5: Is this a guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so this is Neil.
Speaker 1: What's going on with you?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 5: I'm just currently in rehab deck? How are you?
Speaker 1: You're like in rehab right now?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Like I'm literally about to get my phone taken
Speaker 5: away because we have like only a little bit of time.
Speaker 5: We only get our phones for about an hour a day.
Speaker 1: Okay. How much more time do you have with your phone?
Speaker 5: I got about like fifteen minutes?
Speaker 1: All right, we can wrap it up with them fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Why do you only tell tell me? Okay, so you
Speaker 1: only get to use your phone for an hour?
Speaker 4: Deck?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: And previous to being in rehab were how often were
Speaker 1: you on your phone.
Speaker 5: All the time? I'm in the military. I don't really
Speaker 5: do crap in my opinion, okay.
Speaker 1: And has being on your phone less had a positive
Speaker 1: impact on you?
Speaker 5: It hasn't really changed it. I mean, I'm not rehab
Speaker 5: for my phone USAGEM and rehab for my alcohol.
Speaker 1: Okay. And when did you get into rehab?
Speaker 5: It was the eleventh of this month.
Speaker 1: The eleventh of this month. Okay, So you've only been
Speaker 1: there for about two weeks.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, about fifteen days.
Speaker 1: And how is that going for you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: It's you know, honestly, it's kind of happy as I've
Speaker 5: been in about a year.
Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, why why is it? Tell me? Tell me
Speaker 1: how it has become the happiest you've been in a year.
Speaker 1: That's pretty great?
Speaker 5: Well, what I was what I was doing for my
Speaker 5: job in the military. I hated it. I absolutely couldn't
Speaker 5: stand it. And I really just, you know, drank every
Speaker 5: day to forget my problems. And now I feel like
Speaker 5: that stress of that job's not on me, so I'm
Speaker 5: feeling a lot better.
Speaker 1: Interesting, But how how much of the of the alcohol
Speaker 1: abuse would you credit to the job? Is it like
Speaker 1: one hundred percent? Ah?
Speaker 5: No, No, No, drinking was fun. I would say it
Speaker 5: was to the job. Is about sixty.
Speaker 1: Forty sixty forty okay, So the job is sixty and
Speaker 1: then what's the other forty?
Speaker 5: Just me having a good time having fun?
Speaker 1: Okay. And so I don't know how rehab works. So
Speaker 1: they are you like drinking like a little bit so
Speaker 1: that you don't go through withdrawal? Like, how does how
Speaker 1: does it work in there?
Speaker 5: Well, I handled the withdrawals before going to rehab because
Speaker 5: I basically got locked in a room and was told
Speaker 5: to suffer.
Speaker 1: Oh, that was the beginning of rehab.
Speaker 5: No, that wasn't even at the beginning to rehab. That
Speaker 5: was the week prior or basically the friday prior checking in,
Speaker 5: I had all my withdrawals.
Speaker 1: Okay, So would you say you're over them.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, by far, I'm over the withdrawals. The cravings
Speaker 5: is the hard part.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you're ever the with but you have your
Speaker 1: having cravings. How are you having cravings every day?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 5: Well, when I first got here, the cravings lasted about
Speaker 5: two weeks, but now it's every other day or so.
Speaker 1: Okay, so there's a positive upward trajectory. Yes, that's awesome.
Speaker 1: What else are you enjoying about the rehab life.
Speaker 5: There's also a group of messed up people here with me,
Speaker 5: so I don't feel like the only one who has
Speaker 5: a messed up life. We have people who also have
Speaker 5: alcohol addiction opiate addictions, so that's cool. And we just
Speaker 5: sit in this common area. I'm surrounded by a bunch
Speaker 5: of military people. And uh we watched cracky TV shows.
Speaker 1: So would you say you're having fun some days?
Speaker 5: Some days it's depressing because you can't leave. We go
Speaker 5: outside for only twenty minutes at a time.
Speaker 1: Did you check yourself into rehab or did other people?
Speaker 1: I don't know how this works, but did other people
Speaker 1: check you in? Or did you check yourself in?
Speaker 5: It was just a team effort with me and my
Speaker 5: command because I was I was keeping forced to regardless,
Speaker 5: because it's fourth of July. I just drank way too
Speaker 5: much and blacked out and did some crazy stuff.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: I gotta say, it's kind of amazing to me that
Speaker 1: I mean fourth of July. Fourth of July. It's the
Speaker 1: day of July twenty seven. So that was, Oh god,
Speaker 1: I don't know if my math is right, but that was. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was twenty three days ago, So it's about three
Speaker 1: weeks ago, fourth of July. I think it was twenty
Speaker 1: seven months, right, it's about three weeks ago, okay, And
Speaker 1: so three weeks ago you were getting completely totally fucked up,
Speaker 1: and then you went through withdrawals and now you're still
Speaker 1: have in cravings. But it sounds like, at the very least,
Speaker 1: and tell me if I'm wrong, I don't want the
Speaker 1: words in your mouth, but it sounds like, at the
Speaker 1: very least, you are noticing a positive change. You know,
Speaker 1: you went from crazy withdrawals to cravings every day to
Speaker 1: now cravings every other day.
Speaker 5: Yes, I've been three weeks sober on Tues or yesterday,
Speaker 5: so twenty two days sober today. So yeah, it's it's
Speaker 5: it's getting a lot better, Jack. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: That's pretty that's pretty good, you know, going from getting
Speaker 1: super fucked up to being able to go, you know,
Speaker 1: twenty two days sober.
Speaker 5: Yeah, fourth of July, I drank a bottle of tequila,
Speaker 5: a bottle of sangria, nine white claws and six PBRs.
Speaker 1: That's that's a lot of alcohol.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was, it was. It was a good time.
Speaker 1: Oh it sounds like it was a great time. But
Speaker 1: either way, what else are you doing in rehab that
Speaker 1: is uh, taking your mind off the cravings?
Speaker 5: Well, there's like we have group therapy three times a day,
Speaker 5: so that kind of helps. We have activity therapy where
Speaker 5: we do stuff like listen to music or play games, pictionary.
Speaker 5: Sometimes we have TV time and homework time. Today they
Speaker 5: made us watch Inside Out like a bunch of nine
Speaker 5: year olds.
Speaker 1: They made you watch inside Out? Yes, like as a
Speaker 1: commentary on your brain or something like that. Yes, what
Speaker 1: what was the lesson?
Speaker 5: I haven't got to that part. I just I just
Speaker 5: felt the anger character in that, and I thought I
Speaker 5: was supposed to connect to him.
Speaker 1: What did you connect to about the anger character?
Speaker 4: He was angry?
Speaker 1: That makes sense? How much long are you there for?
Speaker 5: I'm here for another another two weeks. Basically, I leave
Speaker 5: all your says and is.
Speaker 1: This all being paid for by the military. Yes, that's
Speaker 1: actually pretty rad. Are you glad that you made the
Speaker 1: decision to go?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Are you optimistic looking towards the future.
Speaker 5: I'm nervous. I won't lie to anyone. I'm scared I
Speaker 5: won't be able to keep my sobriety. It's very challenging.
Speaker 5: I've had a lot of good moments on alcohol, so
Speaker 5: that's the hard part.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you something. I know that they have
Speaker 1: therapists and group therapy and all that stuff, and what
Speaker 1: sorts of things do people tell you in rehab? You know,
Speaker 1: people in those sort of counselor positions, when you tell
Speaker 1: them that you're nervous that you might succumb to cravings
Speaker 1: in the.
Speaker 5: Future, they go, It's just part of the outbound process.
Speaker 5: Is something you just got to work on. Go to
Speaker 5: these groups such as AA.
Speaker 1: Stuff like that, And has has that all been helpful
Speaker 1: for you? The things that they've told you in response
Speaker 1: to that.
Speaker 5: Kind of But you know, like, I've been using alcohol
Speaker 5: for ten years and it's like, am I gonna win
Speaker 5: this battle? Am I gonna be able to get to
Speaker 5: these groups. So still a little nerve wracking.
Speaker 1: In the ten years that you've been using alcohol, have
Speaker 1: do you think there has been twenty two sober you said,
Speaker 1: you said for twenty three days? Twenty two days? Yes, okay?
Speaker 1: Has there been a twenty three day sobriety streak in
Speaker 1: those ten years?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure. I've done multiple deployments where I wasn't
Speaker 5: allowed to drink.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this have Is there anything I
Speaker 1: know that you say you have a lot of good
Speaker 1: times and you know you're you're trying to have fun
Speaker 1: and you're also escaping the stress of your job. Is
Speaker 1: there anything that you can think of that helps you
Speaker 1: do those things you don't have fun and escape the
Speaker 1: stress of your job that is not alcohol.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a couple like I think of cornhole. I
Speaker 5: really like to play cornhole. I'm going to the beach
Speaker 5: is nice, but they stationed me in Denver, so there's
Speaker 5: no beaches.
Speaker 1: Anything else.
Speaker 5: No gek. But I really appreciate your time and thank
Speaker 5: you for taking my call.
Speaker 1: Oh for sure? Man? Are you are they about to
Speaker 1: take your phone away?
Speaker 5: I only got about three minutes. If you have any
Speaker 5: more questions.
Speaker 1: Do you have anything else you want to say to
Speaker 1: the chat or to the people of the computer.
Speaker 5: A BALLACEYVC this, I love you while thank you for everything.
Speaker 5: I appreciate your time.
Speaker 1: For sure, man, and listen. I'm rooting for you. I
Speaker 1: think if you can do twenty three days, I think
Speaker 1: you can do the rest of your life. And you
Speaker 1: seem like a very down to earth and caring person
Speaker 1: at least from what I can hear over the phone.
Speaker 1: And you know I have faith in you.
Speaker 5: Okay, thank you, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Take care, Neil.
Speaker 5: Bye wow.
Speaker 1: I liked Neil. He had an interesting cadence to him.
Speaker 1: He I liked his description of of rehab was interesting.
Speaker 1: It sounded like it was kind of like camp. It
Speaker 1: reminded me a lot of of what day camp was
Speaker 1: like when I was a kid, because we also were
Speaker 1: not allowed to drink alcohol at the day camp that
Speaker 1: I went to when I was nine, and we also
Speaker 1: watched Inside Out. Actually no, we didn't watch Inside Out,
Speaker 1: but we watched like whatever Pixar movie was out when
Speaker 1: I was nine. I'm rooting for Neil. I'm rooting for
Speaker 1: Neil Yellow Yo.
Speaker 4: It's just a gag.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is Josh, this is indeed, Josh, how's it going, man,
Speaker 1: it's going to go. It's going on with you? Josh?
Speaker 4: See, I just I don't know. I just kind of
Speaker 4: wanted to talk. I don't know if you read the
Speaker 4: pre screener.
Speaker 1: But I didn't even read those anymore. Mom's kidding. Okay,
Speaker 1: I do, I do, but I don't like people knowing
Speaker 1: that I do. If that makes sense?
Speaker 4: Oh, for sure, for sure, I get it. I get it.
Speaker 4: You know you want to you want to come off
Speaker 4: like with no freakonceptions ready you know?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, well I know what's going on. Let's let's
Speaker 1: let's let's we're too or we're too meta. Let's get
Speaker 1: not meta?
Speaker 4: All right, understandable, understandable. Uh well, I guess my whole
Speaker 4: thing is I was I was bored with a disability, uh,
Speaker 4: a physical disability. So I've been using a manual witch
Speaker 4: in my entire life.
Speaker 1: Interesting, Okay, it says here, I know, I just said
Speaker 1: that to not whatever it says here that you are
Speaker 1: both optimistic as well as pessimistic about having a disability.
Speaker 1: Can you explain that to me? What?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, economy that you're living in?
Speaker 4: For sure? I mean, let's let's start off the bat, right,
Speaker 4: I like sending off bad for me. I think my
Speaker 4: disability kind of represents it represents me not being able
Speaker 4: to do as much things as other people. You know,
Speaker 4: I am, I am, I'm stopped from doing doing certain
Speaker 4: physical things. And that's like, uh, that's that's definitely been
Speaker 4: hard sometimes, you know, and and that has definitely affected
Speaker 4: my mental state, you know, seeing that dichotomy between like
Speaker 4: able bodied people and my ability, you know, and seeing
Speaker 4: the way people treat me differently as you are built
Speaker 4: to you know, that's pretty hard.
Speaker 1: What what are some of the ways that people treat
Speaker 1: you differently?
Speaker 4: That's it's a lot, man, I think you'd be surprised.
Speaker 4: I think from from a very young age, I've had
Speaker 4: people staring at me because you know, being a witch
Speaker 4: is pretty visible, right, So I've always understood that I
Speaker 4: was different, that I looked different, that I I had
Speaker 4: to be different. Uh. People love to offer your help
Speaker 4: when even I just out of the blue, when I'm
Speaker 4: when I'm not asking for it, and I know if
Speaker 4: that kind of pisses me off sometimes, I mean like
Speaker 4: I'm just living my life, you know, and they need
Speaker 4: to ask, like what you're doing? But do you need help? Man,
Speaker 4: I'm like, excuse me, did I ask? Right?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me try to think.
Speaker 1: No, it's an interesting perspective to hear that that you
Speaker 1: that you really don't like when people ask you for help.
Speaker 4: I think I have no qualms with you need personally
Speaker 4: asking for help, But it's just like people asking for
Speaker 4: help when I don't prompt it, you know, m m no.
Speaker 1: I can totally see.
Speaker 4: Sorry people asking if I need help? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, Well,
Speaker 4: I mean I don't like to talk about the negatives
Speaker 4: that much.
Speaker 1: Well sure, okay, let's get into the positives.
Speaker 4: Then the positives. All right, all right, let's talk about it.
Speaker 4: I think I think recently I've been really realizing that,
Speaker 4: like I've had a pretty fundamental view from the world,
Speaker 4: at least for a very young age. I've kind of
Speaker 4: always known that that life was unfair, you know, that
Speaker 4: that life was was was it is kind of inherently
Speaker 4: unequal to an extent, and that's that's a hard thing
Speaker 4: to go through as a young person. Like I feel
Speaker 4: like most able bodied people or or most people go
Speaker 4: through experience with the one experience would I realized the
Speaker 4: world was unfair? Right, and this happens fairly early on
Speaker 4: in there in there in the development. But for me,
Speaker 4: I never really had that experience. It was always like,
Speaker 4: this is this his life? You know, it's it's it
Speaker 4: kind of sucks. And that's a strength, you know. I
Speaker 4: don't think that's a bad thing. I think it gives
Speaker 4: you perspectives on what is really important in life and
Speaker 4: and how do you maximize your the outcomes that you're
Speaker 4: you're able to come by.
Speaker 1: Hmm. Interesting. So you're you're happy with the fact that
Speaker 1: you learned that the world was unfair or you've known
Speaker 1: it since the beginning of time, not the beginning of time,
Speaker 1: since the beginning of your existence, and you didn't have
Speaker 1: to sort of learn it any sort of hard way later.
Speaker 1: And it's a perspective that I don't know if.
Speaker 4: I'm happy about that. Yeah, Yeah, I don't know if
Speaker 4: I'm happy about that. I think it's a I'm appreciative
Speaker 4: of it, you know. Sure, I don't know if I'm
Speaker 4: happy that. The happy is a strong word. M.
Speaker 1: So, so tell me a little bit more about this.
Speaker 1: What do you think that this perspective has done for
Speaker 1: you throughout your life that is positive?
Speaker 4: M I think I think that I have a a
Speaker 4: very strong will, and I have a very my attitude
Speaker 4: is that of of of someone who can always push
Speaker 4: through any barrier, you know. I mean because in life,
Speaker 4: I think the ultimate barrier is not society, but rather
Speaker 4: the physical environment.
Speaker 5: We live in.
Speaker 4: Right. If if we are we are physically impeded by something, right,
Speaker 4: how do we how do we overcome that? And and
Speaker 4: and I think that that perspective has given me this
Speaker 4: strength to fight through, to fight through a lot of
Speaker 4: just like societal bullshit and emotional bullshit. Because like if
Speaker 4: if I, if I am able to overcome this physical barrier, right,
Speaker 4: then what's stopping me from from overcoming this emotional or
Speaker 4: social barrier?
Speaker 1: Interesting, So you have a perspective that you know, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm in a wheelchair, but I'm able to overcome that.
Speaker 1: I'm able to live my life despite that. Therefore I
Speaker 1: should be able to live my life.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: If I can live my life despite my physical limitations,
Speaker 1: I could live my life despite any sort of emotional
Speaker 1: limitations I might be experiencing or emotional adversity.
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely, definitely, I like that.
Speaker 1: Man, can you give me is there any sort of
Speaker 1: emotional adversity that you've that you've faced throughout your life
Speaker 1: that you want to share, you know, overcoming.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I think at least with my parents.
Speaker 4: I mean, I love my parents very much. I think
Speaker 4: they're wonderful people, and I recognize how much they've done
Speaker 4: for me. But yeah, growing up in a family where
Speaker 4: they haven't really experienced disability, right, it's just kind of
Speaker 4: they don't really understand what that's like. And so it's
Speaker 4: it's just kind of lonely, you know. Uh, it was
Speaker 4: I always had to kind of have to fend for myself,
Speaker 4: at least emotionally. I just didn't feel like I could
Speaker 4: reach out to anyone and so and so recently I've
Speaker 4: been really trying hard to reach out to other people
Speaker 4: and and and just try to share more experiences more
Speaker 4: because I think I think it's it's it's a different perspective,
Speaker 4: and it's it's a it's a valuable perspective.
Speaker 1: Why did you feel like you couldn't reach out to
Speaker 1: your parents when you were growing up?
Speaker 4: My parents are I feel like they're very emotionally unavailable.
Speaker 4: My mom is a typical Asian mom. She's kind of
Speaker 4: just like distant and doesn't really want to talk about
Speaker 4: emotions or anything like that. And then my dad is
Speaker 4: a whole other case where he's like a bipolar and
Speaker 4: and he's been through a lot as well, and it's
Speaker 4: just in in my at least in my instance, he
Speaker 4: is often suck it up and just deal with it,
Speaker 4: and that's how I dealt with it. And I mean
Speaker 4: that can work, but at some point down the line,
Speaker 4: you such a break, you such a fracture, and it
Speaker 4: becomes hard, you know. M hmm.
Speaker 1: What is your relationship like with them now?
Speaker 4: I think it's still along that path. I do want
Speaker 4: to I want to have a closer relationship with my parents,
Speaker 4: but I don't know if they're ready to have that conversation.
Speaker 4: I've been ready for for quite a long time to
Speaker 4: have that conversation with them, but I think whenever I
Speaker 4: try to reach out, it's it's often a denial or
Speaker 4: a rejection on their part, and that's that's pretty hard.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you'll ever come to terms with,
Speaker 1: you know, not having that conversation.
Speaker 4: Mmm, I don't know. I really want to have the
Speaker 4: conversation and I want to be closer with my parents,
Speaker 4: but I think at a certain point, I might have
Speaker 4: to If it doesn't look like it's improving, then I
Speaker 4: might just have to accept that and just look elsewhere.
Speaker 5: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: Who else are you very close with in your life?
Speaker 4: I'm I'm really close with my sister. I love my sister.
Speaker 4: She's great.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: In Portland.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. What what what's her what's her relationship like
Speaker 1: with your parents?
Speaker 4: It's strained as well. She has a better relationship with
Speaker 4: my mom, but yeah, my dad it's had some very
Speaker 4: hurtful things or and that's strained the relationship a lot.
Speaker 4: And so my sister moved out pretty much as soon
Speaker 4: as she could after she went through college.
Speaker 1: And are you moved out too, No, I'm currently.
Speaker 4: In college, so I'm doing an internship right now, but
Speaker 4: I usually live at a home when I'm out of
Speaker 4: college or during summers.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're not completely you know, on your own
Speaker 1: from your family. You're still in college and you return
Speaker 1: back home when you're not in college.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: Well can I ask what you're studying?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm studying mechanical engineering.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you want out of life?
Speaker 4: What do I want out of life? That is the answer.
Speaker 4: I've been trying to or that is the question I've
Speaker 4: been trying to answer for a while now. And you know,
Speaker 4: I have a really wide array of interest. I think
Speaker 4: I really love learning and I love everything that I
Speaker 4: come across. You really, So I'm still I'm still keeping
Speaker 4: my options open and trying to figure that out up
Speaker 4: grow a little bit more emotionally. You know, I think
Speaker 4: I haven't experienced that much relatively speaking, and I need to.
Speaker 4: I need to figure out what I really want to
Speaker 4: impart on the world. Mhm.
Speaker 1: So in your sort of day to day life, you know,
Speaker 1: I know, you see you you were in a wheelchair
Speaker 1: since you were born, But is there you know? And
Speaker 1: I don't. This is why I'm asking this because in
Speaker 1: my perspective, I would think that holdanominous sneeze. Two all right?
Speaker 1: What the fuck was I saying? I would think of
Speaker 1: my perspective. From my perspective, if you're you know, in
Speaker 1: a wheelchair for twenty years, you would get used to
Speaker 1: any sort of frustrations that one might encounter on a
Speaker 1: day to day basis, uh, you know, living life in
Speaker 1: a wheelchair. And I want to know if that is
Speaker 1: that is true or if day to day. There are
Speaker 1: still things that are frustrating you about just navigating.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's very insightful, and it's I think it's true
Speaker 4: to an extent. But there are things that I'm constantly
Speaker 4: aware of and I just know not to expect. I
Speaker 4: think it's it's really a matter of expectations. I generally
Speaker 4: have rock bottom expectations for most things regarding what accessibility
Speaker 4: or my access to things, so so that I don't
Speaker 4: get hurt and that I don't ever expect anything. And
Speaker 4: then I get this, I don't get disappointed, right, And
Speaker 4: I think what I've gotten used to, what I've gotten
Speaker 4: used to, is a lack of care, a lack of access,
Speaker 4: and so as a result of that, my my expectations
Speaker 4: have been lowered as a defense mechanism to make sure
Speaker 4: I don't I don't get hurt. Interesting, But yes, yeah
Speaker 4: there are there's absolutely an element of getting used to it.
Speaker 4: But it hurts. It definitely hurts when when I see
Speaker 4: that visible, stark difference in the things that I can't do.
Speaker 1: You know, you know, this whole thing about low expectations, Hmmm,
Speaker 1: it's weird. I don't know how to respond to this
Speaker 1: because I am a fan of low expectations. I myself
Speaker 1: try to have very low expectations, uh, to not get
Speaker 1: hurt because I think, uh, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: know what someone I don't know. If there if there
Speaker 1: existed a person who had all the perfect answers in
Speaker 1: the world about how to be a human being, I
Speaker 1: wonder what they would say about whether or not to
Speaker 1: have expectations for things, because I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm a fan of having low expectations to not set
Speaker 1: yourself up to get hurt. You know, it's weird because
Speaker 1: it sounds like a sad thing. You know, I never
Speaker 1: expect anything as a defects as a defense mechanism for
Speaker 1: not getting hurt. Boss, I feel like, isn't that the moves?
Speaker 1: Isn't that what you want to do? Not expect anything?
Speaker 1: I mean, you're over here talking about you know, the
Speaker 1: one of the greatest lessons that you have obtained in
Speaker 1: your life is that life is unfair. And part of
Speaker 1: life being unfair is that you know you accept that
Speaker 1: as true and therefore you expect nothing from life, which, guess,
Speaker 1: on paper, I guess to many sounds like a depressing thing.
Speaker 1: But does it? Does it have to be like, why
Speaker 1: why is it so great to have expectations. It's great
Speaker 1: to have desires, you know, it's great to have things
Speaker 1: that make you happy and want to get out of bed,
Speaker 1: But expectations, I mean, what the fuck are those doing
Speaker 1: for anybody?
Speaker 5: Really?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I think I think that's a good point, and
Speaker 4: I think maybe it comes from the fact that I
Speaker 4: have pretty sky high expectations for myself, and maybe I
Speaker 4: impart out on other people a little bit. So when
Speaker 4: when I guess, I guess no, no, I guess. The
Speaker 4: thing is that I already have low expectations. And when
Speaker 4: I expect those low expectations aren't even met. That's when
Speaker 4: it's hard.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Interesting.
Speaker 4: It's when they even when they go below those low expectations.
Speaker 1: Again, when I do like, yeah, no, please please, I'll
Speaker 1: sell my things.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, yeah. So in my case, I try to
Speaker 4: make it as easy as possible for other people to
Speaker 4: accommodate in my needs. Right. I believe that that it's
Speaker 4: a it's a dance that we all have to play, right,
Speaker 4: that society plays and I play. I have to give
Speaker 4: something and they have to give something in return. Right,
Speaker 4: And when I when I give them all the options
Speaker 4: to help me out or to help the access things,
Speaker 4: and they don't even they don't even do that, right,
Speaker 4: then that's that's that's difficult, right because I am doing
Speaker 4: everything in my power to accommodate them as well, and
Speaker 4: they won't do anything on there and to accommodate me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it sucks, man, But uh, you know, fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm really I'm really uh, you know, wrestling with thought
Speaker 1: to think about this here, because like what I totally
Speaker 1: want to say is uh And this is why I
Speaker 1: wonder what the person who you know, has all the
Speaker 1: perfect answers on how to be a human being would say,
Speaker 1: But you can't fucking control what other people do. You can't.
Speaker 1: You just fucking can't. And I think that there's a
Speaker 1: lot of freedom and happiness in accepting that, And part
Speaker 1: of accepting that is having low expectations. You mentioned you
Speaker 1: had high expectations of yourself, which is a different thing
Speaker 1: because you can control what it is that you do
Speaker 1: and how you you know, navigate the world. But I
Speaker 1: think it's okay to feel disappointment, man. But uh, you
Speaker 1: know what I like about what I like about you know,
Speaker 1: what I've heard from you so far about how you
Speaker 1: approach your situation and how you approach the world is
Speaker 1: that you're not over here, you know, kicking rocks because
Speaker 1: the world is unfair. You know, you seem like you're
Speaker 1: not just going to sit there and let the world
Speaker 1: thrash you around. You're going to do the things that
Speaker 1: you want to do to make your life better and
Speaker 1: to be happier. And I think that that's a good
Speaker 1: way to go about living. But I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: not the person who has all the answers as to
Speaker 1: how to be a perfect human being.
Speaker 4: That's that's an interesting point. And I might, I might
Speaker 4: disagree with you there a little bit to say that
Speaker 4: that that I can't control that. I maybe I should
Speaker 4: accept that I can't control what other people do, because
Speaker 4: I mean, I think at recently, in an instance of disability,
Speaker 4: there's a legal element, right, there is a moral obligation
Speaker 4: or not moral, but rather a legal obligation to accommodate
Speaker 4: some of my needs. Right, And when that isn't me,
Speaker 4: that's just that's kind of like a sucker punch, right,
Speaker 4: It's just like, I know this is morally aly belied
Speaker 4: offensive to me, you know, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, look in that situation if something is you know,
Speaker 1: uh uh. And by the way, I'm totally down, by
Speaker 1: the way, in all instances of every single thing I
Speaker 1: say on this podcast, I am always extremely down to
Speaker 1: be wrong. But yeah, dude, I mean in that instance
Speaker 1: where you know, you go into a place and they
Speaker 1: don't have the accessibility options that are required by you know,
Speaker 1: the law, the question becomes to you, what do you
Speaker 1: want to do about it? You know, do you want
Speaker 1: to go and rally the troops and you know, sue
Speaker 1: them or or start a whole thing that The question
Speaker 1: is whether or not you want to go do that.
Speaker 1: And if you do want to go do that, you
Speaker 1: should do that. But I think that that's the thing
Speaker 1: that you you got to ask yourself.
Speaker 4: Okay, interesting. Interesting. You know, I'm glad because people don't
Speaker 4: often say this to me now. They usually just say, oh,
Speaker 4: it's all right, you know, poor you, right. I appreciate
Speaker 4: you for pushing back. It's uh, it's it's it's really
Speaker 4: good to hear someone that that's willing to think about
Speaker 4: it a little deeper.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm telling you all this because you seem like
Speaker 1: you're a guy with you know, despite all of your
Speaker 1: your your disabilities and the things that you have going
Speaker 1: against you. You you strike me as a person who
Speaker 1: has a high internal locus of control, and so I
Speaker 1: want to feed into that. You know, So, so you're
Speaker 1: not a kind of guy that sits around and goes, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, poor me, blah blah blah. You know, you're
Speaker 1: you're a man with the high locus of control. And
Speaker 1: so as a person with the high locus of control,
Speaker 1: I I would get the sense that you look at
Speaker 1: situations and you go, Okay, what can I do about this?
Speaker 1: And if if, if, if, if this is egregious to me,
Speaker 1: and I have it within my power to take action
Speaker 1: against this thing I find egregious, then I will. But
Speaker 1: you're always, at least you know, from from what I
Speaker 1: get from you, thinking about what is the best way
Speaker 1: for you to move forward and not taking so much time,
Speaker 1: you know, crying over the way. This is this is
Speaker 1: what we started with. Is here is you're you already
Speaker 1: know that things are unfair. You already know that, uh
Speaker 1: you know, life is nonlinear, and so you're not going
Speaker 1: to waste any time crying about it. That's that's what
Speaker 1: I like about you, you know. So I'm trying to
Speaker 1: feed into that.
Speaker 4: I appreciate that. I think I think that describes me perfectly.
Speaker 4: You know, I I tend not to dwell on the
Speaker 4: on the things that make me sad as I. As
Speaker 4: I've said, he and thank you for that. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Well, Josh, is there is there anything else
Speaker 1: that I've really enjoyed having this this conversation with you?
Speaker 1: Is is there anything else that you feel like we
Speaker 1: didn't cover that you wanted to talk about today?
Speaker 4: Oh? I don't know. I don't know, man, I mean
Speaker 4: I kind of want to. I do want to say
Speaker 4: to anyone out there that you know you are never
Speaker 4: a burden, You are always valuable. You know that you
Speaker 4: are always a beautiful person, and to never forget that.
Speaker 1: I love it. Ship. Was there anything else is gonna
Speaker 1: say to you? Josh?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, final thing? What's what's next for you in the
Speaker 1: immediate future? I'm curious. We kind of covered your past,
Speaker 1: we kind of covered where you're at. Now what does
Speaker 1: the the future of Josh look like?
Speaker 4: A fucking mega bitches?
Speaker 1: That's what beautiful?
Speaker 4: Thank you for calling Josh, appreciate it, Thank you, Yes,
Speaker 4: You're the best.
Speaker 1: Hello. Hello Daniel, it says here that you accidentally created
Speaker 1: a persona called basketball Dan, and now your friends won't
Speaker 1: stop calling you that, and it's became a significant conflict
Speaker 1: in your life. Yeah, tell me more about this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so pretty much, I was at my Beta house
Speaker 2: and we were playing basketball, and I just happened to
Speaker 2: be holding the basketball, and then it goes, hey, let's
Speaker 2: get a basketball band. And that kind of stuck at
Speaker 2: that point, which is also kind of my fault because
Speaker 2: it changed all my social media names the basketball band,
Speaker 2: So I kind of brought it on myself.
Speaker 1: Interesting, So you changed all your social media, you embraced
Speaker 1: the moniker of basketball Dan almost immediately, and I won't.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course I walk in the bar if
Speaker 2: people start yelling basketball Dan.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. And so let's get into this here, because
Speaker 1: let's get into this here, because you know, you changed
Speaker 1: your social media handles to basketball Dan for a reason.
Speaker 1: I feel like, and please correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to, you know, uh, tell you who
Speaker 1: you are. But it sounds to me like, at the
Speaker 1: very beginning of basketball Dan, you actually enjoyed and found
Speaker 1: identity in basketball Dan, and that's why you changed your
Speaker 1: social media handles to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Now I kind of don't want to go back
Speaker 2: to being Daniel anymore. Now I feel like I kind
Speaker 2: of want to stick with basketball dand I don't well,
Speaker 2: I don't know how I get away.
Speaker 1: So so so where are we now?
Speaker 4: Are we?
Speaker 1: Do we like basketball Dan? Are we sick of basketball Dan?
Speaker 2: I thought I would have gotten took a basketball Dan
Speaker 2: right now, but I think I kind of want to
Speaker 2: be basketball band now.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you like about being basketball Dan?
Speaker 2: I don't know. People just yelled basketball Dan. I mean
Speaker 2: people singing songs and just replace all the words of
Speaker 2: basketball band. So you know.
Speaker 5: It's gotta pros.
Speaker 2: Now do you think I'm gonna have to learn how
Speaker 2: to play basketball?
Speaker 1: Because I have, I have, I have, I have, I
Speaker 1: have better. I have different questions for you. You you you.
Speaker 1: I asked you what you like about basketball Dan, and
Speaker 1: then you deflected and said people sing songs? But that's
Speaker 1: not an answer. What do you like about being called
Speaker 1: basketball Dan? What do you like about these people that
Speaker 1: are singing songs? What do you get out of it?
Speaker 2: I mean it has a certain ring to it, basketball band?
Speaker 2: Don't you think better than Daniel?
Speaker 1: Okay? It has a ring to it people sing songs.
Speaker 1: Still not answers to the question, though, what do you
Speaker 1: get out of being basketball Dan? How does it make
Speaker 1: you feel?
Speaker 2: It makes me feel a basketball Dan, I think. I
Speaker 2: think that's what I get out of it.
Speaker 1: Tell me about how you feel about just the name Dan.
Speaker 2: It's und as fun as basketball Dan. Doesn't seem as energetic.
Speaker 1: Okay. Do you consider yourself an energetic guy?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: But I am when I'm basketball Dan.
Speaker 1: Would you say that Dan and basketball Dan are two
Speaker 1: different people?
Speaker 2: Kind of a kind of not dan, one playing basketball
Speaker 2: allegedly and the only one doesn't really care about sports?
Speaker 4: Then much?
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, everything that you're telling me about basketball Dan
Speaker 1: seems like it's not really even related to basketball.
Speaker 2: I don't hate it, No, it's really not. I don't
Speaker 2: even know how I get away with it.
Speaker 1: Okay, So tell me what what basketball Dan is like.
Speaker 2: Basketball Dana likes getting drunk, and that's pretty much it.
Speaker 1: Okay. So the only difference between Dan and basketball Dan,
Speaker 1: from what you're telling me, from the information I've ascertained
Speaker 1: from you on the phone call right now, is that
Speaker 1: Dan likes being sober and basketball Dan likes being drunk.
Speaker 2: Well, I think regular Dan. My teat is drunk too.
Speaker 1: Dan. You understand that we can't I I did. We
Speaker 1: can't go anywhere, and this is we're gonna just we
Speaker 1: can't have this phone. We're gonna go in fucking circles here.
Speaker 1: If you don't give me real answers to these questions,
Speaker 1: we don't know, we can't have time to go in
Speaker 1: complete in other circles. Dan, We need to have a
Speaker 1: through line two.
Speaker 4: Isn't that what you do?
Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, I feel like I'm playing the
Speaker 2: part pretty well.
Speaker 1: What is the part?
Speaker 2: I don't know? Basketball? Dan? That's as far as I.
Speaker 1: Got, as as far as you got. OK, let's go further.
Speaker 1: Don't you want to go further? Basketball? Dan? Do you
Speaker 1: really do? We do? We want to stop here? Do
Speaker 1: we want to call it quits here? Don't you see
Speaker 1: a farther mountain to figuring out what the fuck basketball?
Speaker 1: Dan is? We're here right now. Let's figure it out.
Speaker 1: Don't bullshit me, Dan? Who is basketball?
Speaker 4: Dan?
Speaker 1: Don't say he plays basketball, don't say he gets drunk.
Speaker 1: Take a second, don't answer right after I'm done talking.
Speaker 1: Really fucking think about this. Who is basketball? Dan?
Speaker 2: That's a good question. I actually never really thought about
Speaker 2: it like that. I kind of just took it at
Speaker 2: face value. I'm basketball band.
Speaker 1: Dan?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Who is basketball Dan?
Speaker 4: Who is basketball?
Speaker 1: Tayer?
Speaker 2: Well, I know he doesn't play basketball. I know that much.
Speaker 2: I know people call him basketball band, and I think
Speaker 2: that's pretty much as far as I've gotten. I don't
Speaker 2: think I'm making it to the playoffs.
Speaker 1: I don't think you are either. Thanks thanks for calling basketball. Then, Okay,
Speaker 1: what do you guys think of that guy? Do you think?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Who? Okay? There are many different things that that guy
Speaker 1: could have been. He could have been somebody who just
Speaker 1: wanted to completely make something up to get in and talk.
Speaker 1: But even then, I don't think that that's as shallow
Speaker 1: as it would seem. Like, what's the underlying reason as
Speaker 1: to why he wanted to do that? We could go deeper. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's one. Maybe he just wanted to call in just
Speaker 1: to talk. Maybe maybe this is what I would love,
Speaker 1: This is the one I would like to think. Maybe
Speaker 1: there is like a real drama going on in his
Speaker 1: life between his two identities of Dan and basketball Dan,
Speaker 1: and to shatter the wall between those two would be
Speaker 1: incredibly painful for him. And so he denies that the
Speaker 1: wall even exists and refuses to get into it with
Speaker 1: me because he knows that he'll have to have a
Speaker 1: painful conversation if we were to truly understand the difference
Speaker 1: between Dan and basketball Dan. I don't think that that
Speaker 1: is what is going on there. I have no idea,
Speaker 1: but no, I don't think. I don't think he's going
Speaker 1: to the playoffs. Somebody said, Lyle, you're trying to derive
Speaker 1: Somebody said, Lyle, you're trying to derive meaning from a
Speaker 1: puddle in a driveway right now, not like some sort
Speaker 1: of crazy poetic meaning. But people do things for reasons.
Speaker 1: Anything anyone does who could probably give a reason to
Speaker 1: nobody does. Nobody fucking does anything for no reason. I
Speaker 1: think everything you know that you know the cause, you
Speaker 1: know the phrase everything happens for a reason. I believe
Speaker 1: in that. I don't believe in that in some like oh,
Speaker 1: there's like a external force determinate determining why things happen.
Speaker 1: But things do happen for reasons. Like why am I
Speaker 1: talking right now? I mean, we could go very deep
Speaker 1: into that reason as to why I'm talking into this
Speaker 1: microphone right now, because why we do a podcast. Why
Speaker 1: do I do a podcast? Uh? To do a thing
Speaker 1: with Earth? Why do I want to do a thing?
Speaker 1: Because human beings are propelled to progret whatever it is
Speaker 1: we get. I'm doing things for reasons, and so whatever
Speaker 1: the reason is. Basketball Dan did call in for a reason,
Speaker 1: and he wasn't vulnerable enough to tell me what that
Speaker 1: reason is. Yes, but he had one, and I'm and
Speaker 1: if he's not gonna give it to me, I'll sit
Speaker 1: here and speculate it. H all right, I've had enough
Speaker 1: of basketball Dan. There. Repy Cant goes on the line
Speaker 1: taking your phone calls.
Speaker 4: Every night.
Speaker 2: The Rep Can goes to his hide.
Speaker 5: He's teaching you cloud in the mind of your life,
Speaker 5: but he's not really an expert.