1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:14,275 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. I've 2 00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:18,995 Speaker 1: mentioned my dogs before. July first was Ted's Gotcha Day, 3 00:00:19,035 --> 00:00:21,315 Speaker 1: five years since he came in to me as a foster, 4 00:00:21,435 --> 00:00:25,875 Speaker 1: and then I failed profoundly and he's not a foster anymore. 5 00:00:25,955 --> 00:00:29,635 Speaker 1: He's my little boy. A week later is Stevie's birthday. 6 00:00:30,275 --> 00:00:33,555 Speaker 1: It was the big one one this year. Rose doesn't 7 00:00:33,595 --> 00:00:36,915 Speaker 1: have anything to do with July. She'll be almost ten, 8 00:00:37,035 --> 00:00:39,475 Speaker 1: I guess in a couple of days. And then a 9 00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:43,275 Speaker 1: week after Stevie's birthday, mine turned sixteen. I've told you 10 00:00:43,275 --> 00:00:46,355 Speaker 1: about men. He's the rescue who had outlived his human 11 00:00:46,435 --> 00:00:49,035 Speaker 1: and they thought he had dementia, and it turned out 12 00:00:49,075 --> 00:00:50,755 Speaker 1: we had to take out all of his teeth because 13 00:00:50,795 --> 00:00:53,635 Speaker 1: they were rotten, and goodness, he really didn't have dementia. 14 00:00:53,795 --> 00:00:56,315 Speaker 1: He just had bad teeth. Once we took them out, 15 00:00:56,435 --> 00:01:00,155 Speaker 1: ninety percent of his fogging is cleared up, and he's 16 00:01:00,195 --> 00:01:03,355 Speaker 1: gained three pounds, and he takes the hard treats and 17 00:01:03,395 --> 00:01:05,315 Speaker 1: he puts them in the water bowl and comes back 18 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,155 Speaker 1: for them later and then pulls them out and sucks 19 00:01:07,195 --> 00:01:09,115 Speaker 1: on them like cough drops. And I don't know if 20 00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:11,275 Speaker 1: I know any people smart enough to do that, and 21 00:01:11,315 --> 00:01:13,675 Speaker 1: he is the best walker in the world. And he 22 00:01:13,755 --> 00:01:17,075 Speaker 1: leaps over the white stripes on the crosswalks, and I 23 00:01:17,115 --> 00:01:18,875 Speaker 1: thought he was confused, and then he did it like 24 00:01:18,955 --> 00:01:21,835 Speaker 1: sixteen times in one half hour walk, and I realized 25 00:01:21,835 --> 00:01:24,235 Speaker 1: he's doing it out of the sheer joy of still 26 00:01:24,275 --> 00:01:26,115 Speaker 1: being able to do it at the age of sixteen. 27 00:01:26,355 --> 00:01:29,235 Speaker 1: And he's now talking to me, and he understands much 28 00:01:29,235 --> 00:01:30,675 Speaker 1: of what I try to say to him, even though 29 00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:35,595 Speaker 1: he really only understands French. It's a long story, and 30 00:01:35,675 --> 00:01:42,035 Speaker 1: it all starts with Stevie eleven years ago, because on 31 00:01:42,075 --> 00:01:47,635 Speaker 1: September thirtieth, twenty twelve, eleven years ago, not one word 32 00:01:47,835 --> 00:01:51,155 Speaker 1: of what I just said would have made any sense 33 00:01:51,755 --> 00:01:57,555 Speaker 1: to me. I had never had a dog, I'd had allergies, 34 00:01:57,715 --> 00:02:01,995 Speaker 1: I'd had travel, I'd had work. And then Olivia looked 35 00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:04,195 Speaker 1: at me and she said, I need a puppy fix. 36 00:02:05,355 --> 00:02:10,875 Speaker 1: On September thirtieth, twenty twelve, my girlfriend's family dog was dying. 37 00:02:11,155 --> 00:02:15,555 Speaker 1: My girlfriend later my ex girlfriend, would not say that 38 00:02:15,715 --> 00:02:19,075 Speaker 1: the little dog was dying. Her folks would not say it. 39 00:02:19,195 --> 00:02:22,235 Speaker 1: A dog, a Jack Russell Terrier, was named Casey. Did 40 00:02:22,235 --> 00:02:24,755 Speaker 1: her best to be the only truthful one in the 41 00:02:24,795 --> 00:02:29,555 Speaker 1: whole family. She was moving purposely and unsteadily with every step, 42 00:02:29,595 --> 00:02:31,515 Speaker 1: and she was looking out at her world with the 43 00:02:31,555 --> 00:02:36,195 Speaker 1: seeming mixture of acceptance and sadness and regret that the 44 00:02:36,235 --> 00:02:40,275 Speaker 1: one time she really needed the bipeds to speak and 45 00:02:40,515 --> 00:02:46,955 Speaker 1: act for her, they would not. I just need for dogs, 46 00:02:46,995 --> 00:02:50,195 Speaker 1: not to mean sadness, Olivia said, just for a while, 47 00:02:50,835 --> 00:02:53,475 Speaker 1: Can we go to that pet shop on lex I 48 00:02:53,595 --> 00:02:56,195 Speaker 1: mumbled that we could go, but that I had resisted 49 00:02:56,235 --> 00:02:59,835 Speaker 1: the dog entreaties of eleven girlfriends before her, and I 50 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:04,115 Speaker 1: would successfully resist hers. I had always loved dogs, but 51 00:03:04,195 --> 00:03:07,235 Speaker 1: I was really allergic to them, and my doctors had 52 00:03:07,235 --> 00:03:10,795 Speaker 1: all said that even hypoallergenic dogs were a crap shoot. 53 00:03:11,355 --> 00:03:14,915 Speaker 1: She said, I do not want a dog. I am 54 00:03:14,955 --> 00:03:17,595 Speaker 1: not trying to convince you to get us a dog. 55 00:03:18,235 --> 00:03:21,075 Speaker 1: I just want to hold a puppy for a little while. 56 00:03:22,195 --> 00:03:24,555 Speaker 1: She paused, as she always did when she felt both 57 00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:27,435 Speaker 1: hopeless and angry at being at the mercy of feelings, 58 00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:31,235 Speaker 1: and she lapsed into the shrug emoji. As sappy as 59 00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:36,795 Speaker 1: that sounds, Olivia the girlfriend, the former girlfriend, let me 60 00:03:36,835 --> 00:03:39,755 Speaker 1: make this easier on both of us. We'll call her TFGF, 61 00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:42,795 Speaker 1: the former girlfriend TFGF and I left for the pet 62 00:03:42,795 --> 00:03:45,115 Speaker 1: shop in midafternoon, and I told her my true fear 63 00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:49,195 Speaker 1: here that my native but dormant shared affinity with dogs 64 00:03:49,235 --> 00:03:52,475 Speaker 1: would all of a moment spring fully grown from my soul, 65 00:03:52,835 --> 00:03:56,115 Speaker 1: and I would blurt, just give me all of them. 66 00:03:56,675 --> 00:03:59,355 Speaker 1: I mean, what kind of life could I offer a dog? 67 00:04:00,235 --> 00:04:03,835 Speaker 1: I was on television, and thus always in a television studio, 68 00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:06,875 Speaker 1: and thus never home for play or walks or just 69 00:04:06,915 --> 00:04:10,435 Speaker 1: the prevention of canine loneliness. I had a girlfriend who 70 00:04:10,475 --> 00:04:13,555 Speaker 1: lived out of town. Half the time, I was clueless 71 00:04:13,595 --> 00:04:16,835 Speaker 1: as to every practical aspect of the dog thing. I 72 00:04:16,915 --> 00:04:20,275 Speaker 1: had littered the continent with dead house plants, and I 73 00:04:20,395 --> 00:04:23,115 Speaker 1: no longer thought myself capable of pulling my ego out 74 00:04:23,155 --> 00:04:27,155 Speaker 1: of my backside sufficiently to take care of fish. I 75 00:04:27,235 --> 00:04:30,275 Speaker 1: had literally not had a pet of any kind since 76 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:35,035 Speaker 1: nineteen sixty seven. I had come to terms with living 77 00:04:35,115 --> 00:04:38,915 Speaker 1: in a wistful, hazy world in which I might inadvertently 78 00:04:38,955 --> 00:04:42,115 Speaker 1: have a dog pal for a few moments, but almost 79 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,555 Speaker 1: never indoors, and never without the pang of knowing that 80 00:04:44,595 --> 00:04:48,475 Speaker 1: the hello itself contained the start of the goodbye. And 81 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:53,315 Speaker 1: I was allergic. I was allergic to the obvious big, furry, 82 00:04:53,315 --> 00:04:56,435 Speaker 1: friendly dogs, and I might be allergic to the ones 83 00:04:56,475 --> 00:05:00,395 Speaker 1: that were built as non allergic. And if I disobeyed 84 00:05:00,395 --> 00:05:05,035 Speaker 1: this immutable cannon, the buried tears of permanent exclusion might 85 00:05:05,075 --> 00:05:07,875 Speaker 1: be replaced by far worse ones of separation and loss. 86 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:12,515 Speaker 1: Me I would get over it, probably, but without overvaluing 87 00:05:12,555 --> 00:05:15,395 Speaker 1: myself too much to betray the love of a dog 88 00:05:16,395 --> 00:05:23,275 Speaker 1: to send a dog back because of allergies. As TFGF 89 00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:26,675 Speaker 1: and I approached the shop, there was, as there almost 90 00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:31,115 Speaker 1: always is, there a small crowd undulating around it. Lexington 91 00:05:31,155 --> 00:05:34,915 Speaker 1: Avenue's narrow sidewalks make these human clots easier to form, 92 00:05:34,955 --> 00:05:38,155 Speaker 1: even late on the first Sunday of autumn. There is 93 00:05:38,195 --> 00:05:41,875 Speaker 1: also an obstacle course of grates and cellar doors and bikes, 94 00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:45,755 Speaker 1: chained poles and parking meters and canopies for diners and 95 00:05:45,795 --> 00:05:48,795 Speaker 1: restaurants and mattress showrooms and other places that are not 96 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:54,075 Speaker 1: quite seedy but also aren't quite your first choice. The 97 00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:57,235 Speaker 1: uptown edges of the grime and noise that constitute the 98 00:05:57,275 --> 00:06:01,635 Speaker 1: maze of fifty ninth Street Bridge approaches lend the place 99 00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:05,715 Speaker 1: a congested feel even when it's otherwise quiet. We are 100 00:06:05,835 --> 00:06:08,115 Speaker 1: three blocks up from the trying just a little too 101 00:06:08,155 --> 00:06:13,115 Speaker 1: hard merchandising of Bloomingdale's. There are unwashed delivery trucks, double 102 00:06:13,115 --> 00:06:15,115 Speaker 1: parked three hundred and sixty five days a year, and 103 00:06:15,155 --> 00:06:18,515 Speaker 1: then totally out of place amid the prosaic trappings of 104 00:06:18,555 --> 00:06:21,995 Speaker 1: a big city at its most meh. There they are 105 00:06:22,795 --> 00:06:26,875 Speaker 1: bouncing off each other, tearing infinitely at other, tiny heads 106 00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:30,755 Speaker 1: and tails and paws doing a seeming pantomime of dismemberment. 107 00:06:31,075 --> 00:06:34,395 Speaker 1: Their yips and the crunch of the shredded cavorting paper 108 00:06:34,835 --> 00:06:37,195 Speaker 1: are just audible through the glass and over the din 109 00:06:37,235 --> 00:06:40,875 Speaker 1: of the street, they create an oasis of cute. And 110 00:06:41,195 --> 00:06:43,675 Speaker 1: just in case you can't tell what they are, there's 111 00:06:43,715 --> 00:06:49,435 Speaker 1: this big Neon sign above their street front window that reads, puppies. 112 00:06:52,035 --> 00:06:55,595 Speaker 1: Don't make me go in? I pleaded. She reassured me. 113 00:06:55,635 --> 00:06:57,635 Speaker 1: We'd go in. She'd hold the dog. All I had 114 00:06:57,675 --> 00:07:01,515 Speaker 1: to do was take a picture. You don't understand. I 115 00:07:01,635 --> 00:07:04,235 Speaker 1: reached for her hand. What I'm trying to say is 116 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:07,835 Speaker 1: always wanted a dog, but I could never have a dog. 117 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,355 Speaker 1: Just as the door to the shop opened, she grabbed 118 00:07:11,355 --> 00:07:13,835 Speaker 1: my arm. She yanked hard. She swore, and she muttered, 119 00:07:13,995 --> 00:07:17,675 Speaker 1: you'll survive. Man up. Don't make eye contact. Don't make 120 00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:20,075 Speaker 1: eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. 121 00:07:20,675 --> 00:07:23,995 Speaker 1: We were going towards puppies and past puppies, and the 122 00:07:24,035 --> 00:07:26,795 Speaker 1: appearance of a small staircase to a training loft confirmed 123 00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:29,795 Speaker 1: we are now going under puppies. And in the deepest 124 00:07:29,835 --> 00:07:32,675 Speaker 1: recesses of the shop there was a wall of puppies 125 00:07:33,195 --> 00:07:36,395 Speaker 1: two hour right, three cages high, six across, all a 126 00:07:36,475 --> 00:07:40,155 Speaker 1: yellowish beige behind a reddish brown for Micah countertop, then 127 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:43,515 Speaker 1: a structural beam, and then three cages high, two across, 128 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:46,395 Speaker 1: then a corner with a small visiting pen built into 129 00:07:46,435 --> 00:07:49,635 Speaker 1: the countertop. Then right in front of me the Hollywood 130 00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:55,275 Speaker 1: squares of puppies three high, three across, and all of 131 00:07:55,315 --> 00:07:57,675 Speaker 1: their inmates, all nine of them, staring at me and 132 00:07:57,715 --> 00:08:00,475 Speaker 1: screaming at me and making eye contact and saying, by 133 00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:06,675 Speaker 1: esp take me home. Helsman now introduced himself as Jeffrey, 134 00:08:06,715 --> 00:08:10,715 Speaker 1: and Jeffrey asked if TFGF had any particular dog she 135 00:08:10,795 --> 00:08:13,195 Speaker 1: wanted him to bring to her. Let me see the 136 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:19,115 Speaker 1: Maltese the girl. In that moment, two things struck me Firstly, 137 00:08:19,155 --> 00:08:20,915 Speaker 1: this was my cue to get the phone out and 138 00:08:20,995 --> 00:08:24,235 Speaker 1: prepared to take the photo of her with the puppy. Secondly, 139 00:08:24,275 --> 00:08:27,475 Speaker 1: the dog whom the salesman was now temporarily liberating from 140 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:32,115 Speaker 1: the surprisingly spare cage, was the only living soul inside 141 00:08:32,115 --> 00:08:34,995 Speaker 1: that pet shop besides me, who was not making any 142 00:08:35,155 --> 00:08:39,315 Speaker 1: damn noise. Every other puppy was perfecting its adolescent bark. 143 00:08:39,555 --> 00:08:42,555 Speaker 1: The cats were making a bewildering variety of noises. And 144 00:08:43,115 --> 00:08:46,035 Speaker 1: was that a Norwegian blue parrot? Squawk? Remarkable bird, the 145 00:08:46,075 --> 00:08:51,355 Speaker 1: Norwegian blue? Isn't it beautiful plumage? This Maltese said nothing. 146 00:08:52,195 --> 00:08:54,515 Speaker 1: She looked like her torso would easily fit in one 147 00:08:54,555 --> 00:08:57,195 Speaker 1: of my hands if she was three pounds. A quarter 148 00:08:57,235 --> 00:08:59,795 Speaker 1: of it was hair, and half of that was curled, 149 00:09:00,155 --> 00:09:02,675 Speaker 1: and presumably somebody came by every day to turn what 150 00:09:02,795 --> 00:09:05,315 Speaker 1: sat atop her head into a mohawk up top and 151 00:09:05,355 --> 00:09:08,795 Speaker 1: a mullet in the back. Her cage mate brother seemed 152 00:09:08,795 --> 00:09:11,835 Speaker 1: a little bigger, but his eyes were clearly smaller, and 153 00:09:11,875 --> 00:09:15,115 Speaker 1: their ocular contrast was immediately visible, even if you still 154 00:09:15,115 --> 00:09:21,195 Speaker 1: had forlorn hopes of avoiding eye contact. His shown hers 155 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:25,595 Speaker 1: were illuminated. He tried to get past her into the 156 00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:28,915 Speaker 1: salesman's arms. She simply lifted up her head towards him, 157 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,195 Speaker 1: and it actually crossed my mind that she looked like 158 00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:33,395 Speaker 1: she was about to say, Hi, Jeffrey, how are you today? 159 00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:36,635 Speaker 1: He put her gently down in the playpen at the 160 00:09:36,675 --> 00:09:40,035 Speaker 1: right corner of the counter. TFGF asked if she could 161 00:09:40,075 --> 00:09:42,595 Speaker 1: pick the puppy up, and nodded to me to get 162 00:09:42,595 --> 00:09:46,715 Speaker 1: the camera ready. Honestly, Jeffrey said, this is the sweetest 163 00:09:46,715 --> 00:09:48,435 Speaker 1: dog we've had in here for months. I say that 164 00:09:48,515 --> 00:09:51,435 Speaker 1: every day to almost everybody, but this time I'm actually 165 00:09:51,475 --> 00:09:55,915 Speaker 1: not lying. TFGFF cradled the Maltese in her arms, with 166 00:09:56,035 --> 00:09:59,035 Speaker 1: the dog's head facing to my right. I tapped the 167 00:09:59,075 --> 00:10:02,995 Speaker 1: camera on the phone. My hand was already shaking as 168 00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:05,315 Speaker 1: I sent it up TFGF and the up in the frame. 169 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:09,475 Speaker 1: The Maltese suddenly wiggled upright, placed her front paws on 170 00:10:09,635 --> 00:10:13,675 Speaker 1: my girlfriend's chest, and just as I snapped the image, 171 00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:17,075 Speaker 1: the dog reached up and kissed my girlfriend on the lips. 172 00:10:19,795 --> 00:10:24,595 Speaker 1: I am, on occasion, completely incapable of remembering anything that 173 00:10:24,715 --> 00:10:32,155 Speaker 1: happened in my entire life before that moment. TFGF made 174 00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:35,515 Speaker 1: the appropriate sounds of approval. Jeffrey began discussing how little 175 00:10:35,555 --> 00:10:38,875 Speaker 1: grooming the Maltese breed needs and the great price he 176 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:40,835 Speaker 1: could give us, And even as my head spun, it 177 00:10:40,835 --> 00:10:43,275 Speaker 1: seemed silly to me that he was calculating the tax 178 00:10:43,315 --> 00:10:48,675 Speaker 1: on something that was obviously timelessly and eternally priceless. TFGF 179 00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,755 Speaker 1: said something about how we needed a minute outside to 180 00:10:50,755 --> 00:10:53,555 Speaker 1: discuss it, and she handed the puppy back to Jeffrey, 181 00:10:53,555 --> 00:10:55,435 Speaker 1: and the dog looked at each each of us and 182 00:10:55,715 --> 00:10:58,115 Speaker 1: as if she was about to say, nice to meet you. 183 00:10:59,995 --> 00:11:01,675 Speaker 1: As the pup went back up into the cage with 184 00:11:01,755 --> 00:11:06,315 Speaker 1: her brother, something extraordinary happened. The little girl was reaching 185 00:11:06,315 --> 00:11:09,595 Speaker 1: her head up towards the spout of the cage's water 186 00:11:09,715 --> 00:11:13,555 Speaker 1: bottle with the same graceful movement she had made to 187 00:11:13,755 --> 00:11:18,595 Speaker 1: bestow that kiss on TFGF, when her brother puppy abruptly 188 00:11:18,675 --> 00:11:21,675 Speaker 1: body slammed her out of the way, and her tiny 189 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,275 Speaker 1: frame bounced off the side of the cage. And then, 190 00:11:24,315 --> 00:11:28,475 Speaker 1: to my shock and confusion, a deep and threatening growl, 191 00:11:29,075 --> 00:11:36,235 Speaker 1: a vengeful ah reverberated throughout the pet shop. The growl 192 00:11:37,475 --> 00:11:43,155 Speaker 1: was coming from me. The next sounds were from TFGF. 193 00:11:43,835 --> 00:11:46,195 Speaker 1: My God, what's wrong with you? I didn't know it 194 00:11:46,235 --> 00:11:48,035 Speaker 1: at the time, but as we turned to fight our 195 00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:50,235 Speaker 1: way back out through the shop to the street, I 196 00:11:50,275 --> 00:11:53,795 Speaker 1: evidently half skidded into a display full of chew toys. 197 00:11:54,355 --> 00:11:57,155 Speaker 1: They nearly toppled to the floor. I nearly toppled to 198 00:11:57,195 --> 00:12:00,235 Speaker 1: the floor. I couldn't see, but I didn't recognize my 199 00:12:00,275 --> 00:12:02,635 Speaker 1: own tears until they hit the edges of my lips. 200 00:12:03,315 --> 00:12:05,835 Speaker 1: Somehow I managed to say it again, this time in despair. 201 00:12:06,155 --> 00:12:08,675 Speaker 1: I always wanted a dog, but I could never have one. 202 00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:13,195 Speaker 1: She suddenly realized what had happened. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 203 00:12:13,195 --> 00:12:16,915 Speaker 1: I'm an asshole. TFGF was now holding me upright and 204 00:12:16,955 --> 00:12:19,435 Speaker 1: steering me towards the door to the street. I didn't 205 00:12:19,435 --> 00:12:20,955 Speaker 1: listen to you. I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole. You 206 00:12:20,995 --> 00:12:24,435 Speaker 1: told me. I didn't believe you. I'm so sorry. Well 207 00:12:24,435 --> 00:12:27,355 Speaker 1: now the stories came pouring out, all jumbled, one on 208 00:12:27,435 --> 00:12:31,035 Speaker 1: top of the other. Tiny the Saint Bernard at the 209 00:12:31,115 --> 00:12:33,355 Speaker 1: Katz and Steins. He only wanted to embrace me, he 210 00:12:33,395 --> 00:12:36,475 Speaker 1: wasn't trying to eat me. And the mcconnon's mutt next 211 00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:38,595 Speaker 1: door Boots used to come sit on my lap and 212 00:12:38,795 --> 00:12:41,115 Speaker 1: tiny didn't make me sneeze, He only scared me. And 213 00:12:41,115 --> 00:12:43,195 Speaker 1: the mcconnons had three boys and a mother who baked 214 00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,795 Speaker 1: cookies by the car load lot, and Boots never left 215 00:12:45,835 --> 00:12:47,955 Speaker 1: their side, and I was always at their house. And 216 00:12:47,995 --> 00:12:49,675 Speaker 1: if I was allergic, how was it that I never 217 00:12:49,755 --> 00:12:51,715 Speaker 1: once had a problem with Boots? How in the hell 218 00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:53,795 Speaker 1: did that work? Huh? And what about Vladimir or the 219 00:12:53,795 --> 00:12:55,515 Speaker 1: stray cat my sister found He used to live in 220 00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:57,635 Speaker 1: the garage and behaved like a dog and like to 221 00:12:57,675 --> 00:12:59,795 Speaker 1: be carried around like a baby. And how allergic was 222 00:12:59,835 --> 00:13:02,715 Speaker 1: I had beautiful, beautiful little maltese reach up and kissed 223 00:13:02,755 --> 00:13:04,435 Speaker 1: you on the mouth. And the one time I took 224 00:13:04,475 --> 00:13:06,955 Speaker 1: my dad's movie camera to the mcconnon's house, half of 225 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,155 Speaker 1: the film was of Boots. And what if I went 226 00:13:09,195 --> 00:13:11,035 Speaker 1: back and got the allergy shots again? And it was 227 00:13:11,035 --> 00:13:13,355 Speaker 1: my mother who said she was really allergic, so I 228 00:13:13,435 --> 00:13:15,555 Speaker 1: must be too, And what's the use? The little maltese 229 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,475 Speaker 1: was perfect and the next person who sees her will 230 00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:19,155 Speaker 1: snap her up in an instant. And I asked them 231 00:13:19,395 --> 00:13:21,275 Speaker 1: just to let me try a little dog who wouldn't 232 00:13:21,275 --> 00:13:22,995 Speaker 1: shed The only thing my mother would let me have 233 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:26,115 Speaker 1: were lizards and I could take a zertech every day. 234 00:13:26,195 --> 00:13:28,675 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Tiny, I didn't realize I never said 235 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,515 Speaker 1: goodbye to Boots. Maltese is gone. She's gone. She's gone, 236 00:13:31,555 --> 00:13:33,315 Speaker 1: and she's my dog. I know what. I could feel it. 237 00:13:33,435 --> 00:13:41,715 Speaker 1: She's my dog and she's gone. What happened next Beggar's fiction. 238 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:52,955 Speaker 1: It involves Rudy Giuliani back to the number one story 239 00:13:52,955 --> 00:13:54,755 Speaker 1: on the Countdown and the day I fell in love 240 00:13:54,795 --> 00:13:57,355 Speaker 1: with a dog for the first time and my girlfriend, 241 00:13:57,515 --> 00:14:02,395 Speaker 1: the former girlfriend TFGF, and I left the puppy in 242 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:08,155 Speaker 1: the pet shop. TFGF and I were walking me mid meltdown, 243 00:14:08,675 --> 00:14:12,675 Speaker 1: somehow now nearing the Park Avenue Armory, one block west 244 00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:15,075 Speaker 1: and four blocks north of the pet shop that I 245 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:18,675 Speaker 1: thought we were still in. To her credit, TFGF had 246 00:14:18,755 --> 00:14:21,715 Speaker 1: kept me from throwing myself into traffic or dissolving into 247 00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:26,595 Speaker 1: a puddle on sixty second Street. The overwhelming sensation I 248 00:14:26,635 --> 00:14:29,075 Speaker 1: had was not one of having left the tiny puppy 249 00:14:29,115 --> 00:14:31,435 Speaker 1: in the shop, but of having left a part of 250 00:14:31,475 --> 00:14:36,395 Speaker 1: myself there that was my dog. And what was worse 251 00:14:36,555 --> 00:14:38,875 Speaker 1: was she was obviously going to be taken by somebody else. 252 00:14:39,035 --> 00:14:41,035 Speaker 1: Even before I got back there, even if we turned 253 00:14:41,035 --> 00:14:44,715 Speaker 1: around right away. Who could resist her? I certainly hadn't. 254 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:48,795 Speaker 1: My chaotic stream of consciousness monologue paused only when I 255 00:14:48,835 --> 00:14:51,955 Speaker 1: had no choice but to shut up and gasp for breath, 256 00:14:52,435 --> 00:14:55,035 Speaker 1: and the comments with which TFGF tried to soothe me 257 00:14:55,075 --> 00:14:59,395 Speaker 1: in these moments were self abnegating and solemn. She had 258 00:14:59,435 --> 00:15:01,835 Speaker 1: talked me off the limb of my certainty that the 259 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:04,315 Speaker 1: dog had already been sold, and was now steering me 260 00:15:04,355 --> 00:15:07,835 Speaker 1: back towards sanity. I had to, she would say, later, 261 00:15:07,955 --> 00:15:11,235 Speaker 1: you were having a breakdown. She said, we should go home, 262 00:15:11,275 --> 00:15:13,915 Speaker 1: and if I wanted to talk seriously about the practicalities 263 00:15:13,915 --> 00:15:16,715 Speaker 1: of owning a dog, we could do that and still 264 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,595 Speaker 1: get the puppy the next morning, even if it meant 265 00:15:18,635 --> 00:15:22,755 Speaker 1: delaying her departure for DC. Don't worry. I'm sure she's 266 00:15:22,795 --> 00:15:25,075 Speaker 1: still there. They were getting ready to close. She'll be 267 00:15:25,115 --> 00:15:29,675 Speaker 1: there in the morning. I exhaled, and then I repanicked. 268 00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:35,315 Speaker 1: She's she's I sniffed anew, and the tears resumed. She's 269 00:15:35,355 --> 00:15:37,915 Speaker 1: in that cage with that brother of hers in the 270 00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:43,395 Speaker 1: basement somewhere. Before TFGF could answer, and I swear this 271 00:15:43,515 --> 00:15:49,315 Speaker 1: is true, Rudy Giuliani spilled down the stairs from the 272 00:15:49,475 --> 00:15:53,035 Speaker 1: armory we were passing. A cop suddenly appeared from a 273 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,875 Speaker 1: different nowhere and put out an arm and firmly asked 274 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,955 Speaker 1: us to stop walking, and Juliani scuttled rodent like into 275 00:15:59,955 --> 00:16:03,475 Speaker 1: a waiting car. A wife was with him. I did 276 00:16:03,515 --> 00:16:06,715 Speaker 1: not and do not know which number. The driver was 277 00:16:06,755 --> 00:16:09,315 Speaker 1: already closing the door behind them when I shouted it, 278 00:16:09,675 --> 00:16:11,755 Speaker 1: how come my dog has to spend the night in 279 00:16:11,795 --> 00:16:14,635 Speaker 1: a cage while that ass hat is allowed to roam 280 00:16:14,635 --> 00:16:19,795 Speaker 1: around this city without a leash on him. Later that evening, 281 00:16:19,835 --> 00:16:22,275 Speaker 1: TFGF said that was the first moment she thought we 282 00:16:22,435 --> 00:16:27,235 Speaker 1: might just get home safe and sound. After all, it 283 00:16:27,315 --> 00:16:29,515 Speaker 1: was not ten more minutes back to my apartment, and 284 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,955 Speaker 1: we walked it in silence. Now I had long since 285 00:16:32,035 --> 00:16:36,195 Speaker 1: saturated my handkerchief and some tissues TFGF had in her pockets. 286 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:40,995 Speaker 1: I was breathing deeply and restoratively. Now the sniffle frequency 287 00:16:41,035 --> 00:16:44,715 Speaker 1: reduced to once or twice per block, and my mind 288 00:16:44,835 --> 00:16:49,915 Speaker 1: was crowded with the dogs I had known, Boots, Tiny, Vladimir, 289 00:16:49,955 --> 00:16:53,675 Speaker 1: the Cat, even tfgf's little Casey dying out in Jersey 290 00:16:53,675 --> 00:16:56,475 Speaker 1: and unaware of the seismic events which she had set 291 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,995 Speaker 1: in motion. I was thinking of other dogs. To all 292 00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:02,475 Speaker 1: of the dogs in all of the stories of James 293 00:17:02,475 --> 00:17:05,075 Speaker 1: Thurber that I read on TV every Friday night, I 294 00:17:05,115 --> 00:17:07,915 Speaker 1: had smiled along with his poetic descriptions of them, but 295 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:14,075 Speaker 1: never confessed I loved them as he must have. There 296 00:17:14,155 --> 00:17:16,395 Speaker 1: was Samantha, who my late friend Bruce Hagen used to 297 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,555 Speaker 1: bring everywhere, including our college radio station newsroom, the first 298 00:17:19,595 --> 00:17:22,995 Speaker 1: really big dog who did not frighten me. My great 299 00:17:23,035 --> 00:17:27,515 Speaker 1: aunt's Yorky, whose gas was so potent that the Christmas 300 00:17:27,595 --> 00:17:29,795 Speaker 1: just before I turned nine, my great uncle said he 301 00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:32,595 Speaker 1: was convinced she had been a German terror weapon at 302 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:35,075 Speaker 1: Chateau Terry in the First World War, and he and 303 00:17:35,115 --> 00:17:37,675 Speaker 1: I had bonded because I knew what Chateau Terry was. 304 00:17:38,915 --> 00:17:41,635 Speaker 1: There was Nellie McNally, the only dog that any of 305 00:17:41,675 --> 00:17:44,555 Speaker 1: my sontimes out of town girlfriends ever had actually put 306 00:17:44,555 --> 00:17:47,675 Speaker 1: on the phone with me. In my mind, they all 307 00:17:47,715 --> 00:17:52,235 Speaker 1: stood before me, all lined up, all quiet, smiling, all 308 00:17:52,275 --> 00:17:55,795 Speaker 1: with the kindest type of I told you so, dummy 309 00:17:56,755 --> 00:18:01,595 Speaker 1: on their wonderful faces, and dozens more behind them, vague 310 00:18:01,635 --> 00:18:05,275 Speaker 1: shapes and sizes who belonged to neighbors or co workers 311 00:18:05,275 --> 00:18:07,755 Speaker 1: passed who were just chance encounters on the streets of 312 00:18:07,755 --> 00:18:12,715 Speaker 1: any of a dozen cities decades before. No, I'm sorry, 313 00:18:12,795 --> 00:18:15,755 Speaker 1: she said, I shouldn't have been that selfish. But now 314 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,035 Speaker 1: I disagreed with her, and as I unlocked the apartment door, 315 00:18:18,035 --> 00:18:20,155 Speaker 1: I began to tell her of the dogs I had 316 00:18:20,195 --> 00:18:22,635 Speaker 1: just been communing with in my mind, and what had 317 00:18:22,675 --> 00:18:26,715 Speaker 1: suddenly become necessary, urgent, inevitable, and perfect, but about which 318 00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:29,395 Speaker 1: I needed as much detail as I could in as 319 00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:34,355 Speaker 1: short a period as possible. TFGF tried, well, you just 320 00:18:34,475 --> 00:18:37,635 Speaker 1: take the dog wherever you can. My parents have been 321 00:18:37,675 --> 00:18:39,795 Speaker 1: saying this a lot lately. Now they regret not doing 322 00:18:39,795 --> 00:18:44,795 Speaker 1: more things with Casey, not adventures, not kayaking, just taking 323 00:18:44,835 --> 00:18:46,835 Speaker 1: her with them, or going out in the yard, or 324 00:18:46,915 --> 00:18:50,075 Speaker 1: just holding her while they'd watched TV. You just let 325 00:18:50,115 --> 00:18:56,595 Speaker 1: the dog in. We went through topic after topic, cleaning, training, handling, 326 00:18:56,715 --> 00:19:02,115 Speaker 1: poop walks, food, puppy sitters, moving books off ground level shelves, discipline, 327 00:19:02,115 --> 00:19:05,315 Speaker 1: and most importantly of all, a backup plan in this 328 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:10,635 Speaker 1: epiphany was false, and or I was still allergic or terrified, 329 00:19:10,755 --> 00:19:15,555 Speaker 1: or incompetent or all three. I don't think it'll take 330 00:19:15,635 --> 00:19:17,835 Speaker 1: much to convince my parents to take her. I mean, 331 00:19:17,875 --> 00:19:22,595 Speaker 1: even after Casey recovers and I can take her with 332 00:19:22,635 --> 00:19:25,275 Speaker 1: me to DC tomorrow, I'll bring her back next weekend. 333 00:19:25,355 --> 00:19:27,195 Speaker 1: So you can get the apartment ready, and you can 334 00:19:27,195 --> 00:19:29,435 Speaker 1: get you ready, and you don't have to go in 335 00:19:29,475 --> 00:19:33,195 Speaker 1: at the deep end. Right away, I interrupted her with 336 00:19:33,235 --> 00:19:37,115 Speaker 1: a kiss. Let's go back there before they close. I 337 00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:41,195 Speaker 1: don't want to wait till morning. I'm still terrified somebody 338 00:19:41,195 --> 00:19:45,915 Speaker 1: else will realize how extraordinary she is. Unexpectedly, I had 339 00:19:45,915 --> 00:19:48,195 Speaker 1: a moment of doubt at this point. This isn't just 340 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:51,555 Speaker 1: me having a breakdown, right, I mean, she is extraordinary. 341 00:19:51,715 --> 00:19:54,355 Speaker 1: I'm having a breakdown, and she is extraordinary, isn't she. 342 00:19:55,315 --> 00:19:57,675 Speaker 1: TFGF stopped being nice, and now, for the first time, 343 00:19:57,755 --> 00:19:59,595 Speaker 1: looked at me like I'd just gone crazy, even though 344 00:19:59,635 --> 00:20:02,315 Speaker 1: I just had gone crazy. Obviously. She said that was 345 00:20:02,355 --> 00:20:06,995 Speaker 1: a real kiss. The pet shop had stayed open, partly 346 00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:10,915 Speaker 1: because TFGF phoned them as we hit the street outside 347 00:20:10,915 --> 00:20:14,835 Speaker 1: of the apartment building, and partly because they knew you 348 00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:18,795 Speaker 1: were coming back. Jeffrey said, you just see it sometimes. Also, 349 00:20:18,835 --> 00:20:24,635 Speaker 1: you seemed kind of emotional. TFGFF helpfully mentioned that i'd 350 00:20:24,675 --> 00:20:28,435 Speaker 1: had a breakdown. They had all the paraphernalia ready, a 351 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:32,195 Speaker 1: little aquabed, a series of attached gates that could be 352 00:20:32,275 --> 00:20:35,195 Speaker 1: used as a pen or a barrier, a small pink blanket, 353 00:20:35,195 --> 00:20:37,755 Speaker 1: a bag of training pads and the plastic pad holder, 354 00:20:38,035 --> 00:20:41,475 Speaker 1: enough dry food to last twelve to fourteen months, some 355 00:20:41,595 --> 00:20:44,715 Speaker 1: horrific wet food that looked like a discarded early design 356 00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:47,835 Speaker 1: for liverwurst, a few chew toys, a bright pink harness 357 00:20:47,835 --> 00:20:50,155 Speaker 1: and a leash as light as a ribbon, a black 358 00:20:50,195 --> 00:20:53,875 Speaker 1: carrying bag, and paperwork with the puppies family tree, which, 359 00:20:53,915 --> 00:20:56,715 Speaker 1: to my astonishment, stretched back beyond her birth one week 360 00:20:56,795 --> 00:21:00,675 Speaker 1: shive three months before, through the six preceding generations, all 361 00:21:00,715 --> 00:21:06,475 Speaker 1: the way back to six entire years earlier. In addition 362 00:21:06,475 --> 00:21:08,475 Speaker 1: to all this, they could have included a moped, a 363 00:21:08,515 --> 00:21:11,675 Speaker 1: stock portfolio to guarantee your college education, and i'm all 364 00:21:11,755 --> 00:21:15,115 Speaker 1: tease sized typewriter with a twenty year supply of replacement ribbons. 365 00:21:15,155 --> 00:21:18,875 Speaker 1: And I would have also bought them. Very nice lady 366 00:21:18,915 --> 00:21:21,595 Speaker 1: named Ellie tried to train me to be a dog 367 00:21:21,635 --> 00:21:24,355 Speaker 1: owner in about ninety four seconds and handed me a 368 00:21:24,435 --> 00:21:27,315 Speaker 1: voucher for a vet and a checklist of stuff to do. 369 00:21:27,715 --> 00:21:30,035 Speaker 1: I signed a credit card bill. I think I used 370 00:21:30,075 --> 00:21:33,075 Speaker 1: my own name. I absolved myself of the guilt of 371 00:21:33,115 --> 00:21:35,995 Speaker 1: not getting a sheltered dog because I was allergic and 372 00:21:36,075 --> 00:21:38,835 Speaker 1: kind of had to go the shop route. Plus I 373 00:21:38,915 --> 00:21:40,915 Speaker 1: was not looking for a dog. I had actually fallen 374 00:21:40,955 --> 00:21:43,995 Speaker 1: in love at first sight with this dog. And lastly, 375 00:21:44,035 --> 00:21:46,555 Speaker 1: because no matter had the obvious and often tragic flaws 376 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,835 Speaker 1: in this system, there was no arguing with the fact 377 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:52,555 Speaker 1: that those dogs who came from a pet shop had 378 00:21:52,595 --> 00:21:54,395 Speaker 1: as much of a right to a happy life as 379 00:21:54,435 --> 00:21:58,355 Speaker 1: any other dog. At that moment, they produced her from 380 00:21:58,395 --> 00:22:00,475 Speaker 1: the back room behind the block of cages where we 381 00:22:00,555 --> 00:22:03,675 Speaker 1: had first seen her. Her curls had been fluffed up 382 00:22:04,035 --> 00:22:07,435 Speaker 1: and her hair freshly brushed. It would be lovely to 383 00:22:07,475 --> 00:22:10,435 Speaker 1: say she made eye contact them across the shop floor, 384 00:22:10,515 --> 00:22:13,035 Speaker 1: or was aware of our presence, or yipped happily at 385 00:22:13,075 --> 00:22:16,235 Speaker 1: the sight of me, and it would be completely untrue. 386 00:22:16,315 --> 00:22:20,435 Speaker 1: The little Maltese calmly scanned the room, only occasionally glancing 387 00:22:20,515 --> 00:22:22,595 Speaker 1: up at the manager who carried her, and not once 388 00:22:22,715 --> 00:22:26,795 Speaker 1: at us, until she was, without ceremony or comment, handed 389 00:22:26,875 --> 00:22:32,155 Speaker 1: to me, whereupon she immediately twisted out of my trembling hands, 390 00:22:32,835 --> 00:22:35,795 Speaker 1: stuck her front paws on my chest and reached up 391 00:22:35,835 --> 00:22:38,875 Speaker 1: to give me a kiss on the lips, and then 392 00:22:38,915 --> 00:22:42,995 Speaker 1: another and a third, and my sunglasses hid the tears 393 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:45,755 Speaker 1: that welled up again. I managed to ask if they 394 00:22:45,795 --> 00:22:50,435 Speaker 1: all did that. No, came the answer from that salesman, Jeffrey, honestly, 395 00:22:51,035 --> 00:22:53,995 Speaker 1: like I told you, sweetest puff we've had here in months. 396 00:22:54,115 --> 00:22:57,075 Speaker 1: Loves people, loves people. I'm sad to see her go. 397 00:22:59,715 --> 00:23:02,235 Speaker 1: I marveled and how light she was, and yet how 398 00:23:02,355 --> 00:23:05,915 Speaker 1: articulated on strong her body was. Her eyes were far 399 00:23:05,995 --> 00:23:09,155 Speaker 1: more beautiful than I had realized, oversized even for a puppy, 400 00:23:09,195 --> 00:23:12,475 Speaker 1: almost no white visible, the reflection off the deep brown 401 00:23:12,555 --> 00:23:17,435 Speaker 1: irises almost iridescent. And more astonishingly, this little soul who 402 00:23:17,475 --> 00:23:21,195 Speaker 1: was about two hundred and twelfth my age, at about 403 00:23:21,235 --> 00:23:24,275 Speaker 1: one eighty seventh my weight, and who had a great 404 00:23:24,515 --> 00:23:28,155 Speaker 1: great great great grandmother born in two thousand and six, 405 00:23:28,755 --> 00:23:32,155 Speaker 1: when my great great great great grandmother was born in 406 00:23:32,195 --> 00:23:36,795 Speaker 1: like eighteen hundred, she was meeting and holding my gaze 407 00:23:36,835 --> 00:23:40,195 Speaker 1: with her own. Whatever I was seeing in her eyes, 408 00:23:40,395 --> 00:23:43,555 Speaker 1: whatever the inner being I was actually processing, She seemed 409 00:23:43,595 --> 00:23:47,515 Speaker 1: to be doing her equivalent vetting I gave her a 410 00:23:47,515 --> 00:23:49,835 Speaker 1: little kiss, and was by now not surprised when she 411 00:23:49,955 --> 00:23:53,115 Speaker 1: kissed me again. The little tongue poked out a fraction 412 00:23:53,155 --> 00:23:54,755 Speaker 1: of an inch, just enough so any one of us 413 00:23:54,795 --> 00:23:58,115 Speaker 1: dumb unseubtled bipeds could tell she meant it. And then 414 00:23:58,155 --> 00:24:00,955 Speaker 1: she relaxed from her upright pose and settled back into 415 00:24:00,995 --> 00:24:03,915 Speaker 1: my arms, her head in the crook of my right elbow, 416 00:24:04,395 --> 00:24:06,915 Speaker 1: in an attitude I would soon discover she would repeat 417 00:24:06,955 --> 00:24:13,315 Speaker 1: every time I ever picked her up. A couple hours later, 418 00:24:14,795 --> 00:24:19,435 Speaker 1: the name came to me her haircut. It was Stevie 419 00:24:19,555 --> 00:24:36,915 Speaker 1: Nix's haircut. I named her Stevie. I've done all the 420 00:24:36,955 --> 00:24:40,195 Speaker 1: damage I can do here. Wait a minute, hold on, 421 00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:44,395 Speaker 1: let's just stop the music just for a second. Stevie, 422 00:24:45,475 --> 00:24:48,075 Speaker 1: you want to treat? You been a good girl lately. 423 00:24:49,035 --> 00:24:50,835 Speaker 1: I mean we didn't mention your birthday on the air. 424 00:24:50,835 --> 00:24:52,395 Speaker 1: I'm very sorry about that. Do you want to treat? 425 00:24:53,235 --> 00:24:58,475 Speaker 1: We'll say something, Stevie. You want to treat? Come on, 426 00:24:59,555 --> 00:25:02,555 Speaker 1: say that again. Okay? Do you want to tell them 427 00:25:02,555 --> 00:25:07,555 Speaker 1: about physical therapy? Stevie couldn't walk. Three months ago. She 428 00:25:07,635 --> 00:25:09,675 Speaker 1: had had a problem with both of her back knees. 429 00:25:09,995 --> 00:25:12,435 Speaker 1: She tore an acl and she had an immune disease, 430 00:25:12,795 --> 00:25:15,555 Speaker 1: and these things combined and made it impossible for her 431 00:25:15,555 --> 00:25:17,635 Speaker 1: to walk. And she has been going to physical therapy 432 00:25:17,675 --> 00:25:20,235 Speaker 1: at the Animal Medical Center ever since she's learned how 433 00:25:20,235 --> 00:25:25,155 Speaker 1: to swim. She gets massages and she gets laser treatments 434 00:25:25,715 --> 00:25:28,275 Speaker 1: every week and she has a great time. And this 435 00:25:28,315 --> 00:25:30,395 Speaker 1: is the hospital that she has always treated as if 436 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:32,875 Speaker 1: it were a spa. She has a very high threshold 437 00:25:32,875 --> 00:25:37,315 Speaker 1: for pain, so through cancer treatments and surgery and half 438 00:25:37,315 --> 00:25:39,995 Speaker 1: a dozen other things that have gone wrong, she's always 439 00:25:40,035 --> 00:25:42,875 Speaker 1: kept a smile on her face because they've treated her 440 00:25:42,955 --> 00:25:45,155 Speaker 1: so well there and she's had such a good time. 441 00:25:45,515 --> 00:25:47,875 Speaker 1: She's always acted like it was a spa. Well here 442 00:25:47,875 --> 00:25:51,995 Speaker 1: it is after ten years of going there. They give 443 00:25:51,995 --> 00:25:54,635 Speaker 1: her spa treatments, They put her in the water, they 444 00:25:54,635 --> 00:25:56,835 Speaker 1: blow dry her hair. They often trim her nails to 445 00:25:56,875 --> 00:25:59,435 Speaker 1: make sure that they get the whole imprint of her 446 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:01,515 Speaker 1: feet right, to make sure her gait is okay and 447 00:26:01,635 --> 00:26:04,435 Speaker 1: she's regained the ability to walk. She goes for a swim, 448 00:26:04,755 --> 00:26:08,435 Speaker 1: she goes in an underwater treadmill to work out. As 449 00:26:08,475 --> 00:26:11,275 Speaker 1: I said, they use lasers on her knees and then 450 00:26:11,315 --> 00:26:13,515 Speaker 1: They end the whole thing with doing her hair and 451 00:26:13,555 --> 00:26:17,515 Speaker 1: giving her a massage. It's a spa. She was right, 452 00:26:18,675 --> 00:26:21,595 Speaker 1: my girl, Stevie eleven years old and the anniversary coming 453 00:26:21,675 --> 00:26:23,755 Speaker 1: up too. All right, you were good enough to sit 454 00:26:23,795 --> 00:26:26,075 Speaker 1: through this. You want that treat? Now say it again? 455 00:26:26,115 --> 00:26:29,075 Speaker 1: One more time. You want this treet say it. You 456 00:26:29,075 --> 00:26:30,795 Speaker 1: don't have to sit, you don't have to be quiet. 457 00:26:30,995 --> 00:26:33,835 Speaker 1: She's sitting the one time she's sitting at being quiet. 458 00:26:34,155 --> 00:26:40,515 Speaker 1: Say something. Do you want this treat? Yes? Or no? Yes? Yes, yes, 459 00:26:41,635 --> 00:26:44,715 Speaker 1: Well you're twirling, but say yes. Do you want this treat? 460 00:26:45,475 --> 00:26:49,275 Speaker 1: All right? Thank you very much? All right, you've indulged 461 00:26:49,315 --> 00:27:10,355 Speaker 1: me long enough. Okay, remember celebrate Stevie Day responsibly. Please 462 00:27:10,395 --> 00:27:16,235 Speaker 1: adopt no more than two dogs, all right, three, but 463 00:27:16,275 --> 00:27:20,835 Speaker 1: no more than three? All right, four. I've done all 464 00:27:20,875 --> 00:27:22,715 Speaker 1: the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. 465 00:27:22,755 --> 00:27:25,275 Speaker 1: Countdown has come to you from the Vin Scully Studios 466 00:27:25,715 --> 00:27:29,315 Speaker 1: at the Olderman Broadcasting Empire in New York, in the 467 00:27:29,355 --> 00:27:33,115 Speaker 1: Stevie Building. The music you heard was, for the most part, arranged, 468 00:27:33,115 --> 00:27:36,035 Speaker 1: produced and performed by Countdown musical directors Brian Ray and 469 00:27:36,075 --> 00:27:40,075 Speaker 1: John Phillip Schanel. Brian Ray handled the guitars, bass, and drums, 470 00:27:40,275 --> 00:27:42,955 Speaker 1: and John Phillip Schanel did the orchestration and keyboards, and 471 00:27:43,035 --> 00:27:46,915 Speaker 1: it was all produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including 472 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:49,675 Speaker 1: other Beethoven tunes, arranged and performed by the group No 473 00:27:49,795 --> 00:27:53,715 Speaker 1: Horns Allowed. The sports music is courtesy of ESPN Incorporated. 474 00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:56,075 Speaker 1: It was written by Mitch Warren Davis. We call it 475 00:27:56,075 --> 00:27:59,995 Speaker 1: the Olderman theme from ESPN two. Our satirical and pithy 476 00:28:00,075 --> 00:28:03,635 Speaker 1: musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the best baseball stadium 477 00:28:03,715 --> 00:28:06,115 Speaker 1: organist ever. I wur announce heer today was my friend 478 00:28:06,195 --> 00:28:08,955 Speaker 1: Jonathan Banks from Breaking Bad. Everything else was pretty much 479 00:28:08,995 --> 00:28:11,875 Speaker 1: my fault. So that's countdown for this, the nine hundred 480 00:28:11,875 --> 00:28:15,595 Speaker 1: and ninety seventh day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup 481 00:28:15,595 --> 00:28:18,515 Speaker 1: against the democratically elected government of the United States. Convict 482 00:28:18,555 --> 00:28:22,315 Speaker 1: him now while we still can. The next schedule countdown 483 00:28:22,355 --> 00:28:25,995 Speaker 1: is Tuesday Bulletin's as the news warrants, or if I 484 00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:28,475 Speaker 1: feel like we really have to celebrate the one thousandth 485 00:28:28,595 --> 00:28:31,915 Speaker 1: day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup in any event 486 00:28:31,955 --> 00:28:34,515 Speaker 1: till then, I'm Keith ol Rimman. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, 487 00:28:35,115 --> 00:28:52,995 Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olreman is a production 488 00:28:53,235 --> 00:28:58,555 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 489 00:28:58,595 --> 00:29:01,995 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.