WEBVTT - Thinking Sideways: Richey Edwards 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:04.680 Taking Sideways is not brought to you by robotic Robert Stack. Instead, 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:07.560 it's brought to you by a cool show on Amazon 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:11.039 this Amazon Prime called Bosh, which is just coming back 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:14.240 for a third season. It's about detective Harry Bosh, and 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:17.160 for him, solving crimes isn't just a job, it's a 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:21.360 soul consuming obsession. After a long search for his mother's 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.319 killer led him too a big police cover up in 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:28.800 previous seasons, now our protagonist Harry Bosh finds himself a 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:30.840 suspect in the death of a serial killer that he 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:35.640 had been investigating. Boss stars Titus Wolliver as Harry Bosh. 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:38.640 Is based on the bestselling novels by Michael Connolly. You 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:44.519 can stream season three now on Amazon Prime. That's Bosh. 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:59.040 Thinking Sideways brought the idea I don't know stories of things, 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:04.559 sim of the answa to well, hey there, and welcome 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:08.640 again to another episode of Thinking Sideways. Not just another episode, 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:14.760 not just another episode. Welcome to our two hundredth episode 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:17.760 based on my math. I think the math is right. 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:19.759 I think it's pretty close. I might be off by 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:23.040 one or five. Yeah, we're off a little bit. You 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:27.280 get to have another celebration with us. Yeah sweet, yeah, yeah, 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:30.759 we've According to my math, this is our two hundredth 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:34.640 episode regular regular. You're right, so shorts and holidays and 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:38.240 stuff like that don't count. But actually, like our two 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.800 or something, I don't know. I think about how many 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:44.440 episodes that is and it kind of makes me feel 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:47.520 old for a long time. It doesn't seem like it's 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:50.920 been that long. Yeah it has. Yeah, sorry I interrupted you. 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:58.120 That's okay, I am wait, what's your name? I'm Steve. 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:04.640 Oh no, I'm Steve. I'm Steve as always joined by 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:08.799 Devon and Joe. And even though it is our two 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:11.440 hundred episode, we're not going to break form and we're 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:13.200 still going to bring you a mystery because that's what 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:17.560 we do every week. H not quite, We're actually gonna 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:19.040 do you know, We've I don't know if either of 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:21.720 you noticed this, but we've developed this weird little habit 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:27.400 on the big numbered episodes. We do stories about famous 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:31.800 people who disappear and so or die. It's like the 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:37.679 three role, except not really increments of fifty. Yeah, yes, crazy, yes, 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:41.600 So this week we are going to talk about another 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:44.840 famous person who in this instance, disappeared, and that is 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:49.280 Richie Edwards Richie Edwards and his disappearance is a listeners 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:54.360 suggestion from everybody. We've been getting this a lot, so 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:59.200 I finally caved. I do real quick though, before we 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:02.239 get into the story and all of that. Trigger warning, 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:05.680 this episode deals with some things that you may not 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:09.440 be comfortable having a little ears here or if these 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:12.200 are triggers for you, We're gonna be talking some about 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:16.520 suicide and some about self hurting, so triggers. You're not 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.560 listening to us anyway, so don't worry about it. But 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:21.800 if you are listening and drew on this episode, please 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.400 make sure to turn it off or save it for 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:27.240 another time when it's better for those who of you 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:30.359 who do not know. Richie Edwards was a member of 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:34.200 the band Manic Street Preachers. Did you guys ever listen 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:38.160 to them? Uh? Not much? No, I'm no, I'm too 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:41.800 young for that. I never did either. I've listened to 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:44.440 him since, but I had not listened to him. I 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.000 don't know. I don't know if you know this or not, 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.480 but it's you can't listen to music that's older than you, 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:52.760 So I they can't really Okay that nobody ever told 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:56.240 me that? Wow? So what what laws of physics have 0:03:56.400 --> 0:04:03.400 we been violated? Okay? Um, well, Richie at the age 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:08.520 of twenty seven, he disappeared. It was in and he 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:12.360 wasn't actually declared legally dead until two thousand and eight. 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:15.680 That's when his his family finally moved forward that with 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:19.480 that process. So let's start at the beginning and we'll 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:23.280 walk through Richie's story leading up to his disappearance. Richie 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.880 Edwards grew up in Blackwood, which is Whale in Wales, 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.080 which is in the United Kingdom for those of you 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:32.400 don't know, South Wales. Yeah, it is south southeast Wales. 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:36.359 Yeah yeah, Ballpark, Ish. Now. I don't know why I 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:40.839 found this surprising, but it turns out Richie Edwards was 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:42.960 a really good student. He did quite well in all 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:46.040 of his classes. Because you're a racist, that's right here, 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:49.960 I guess, yeah, I hate Welsh people. I actually think 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:53.880 that it might just be because of a different stereotype, 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:59.039 and that is the rocker stereotype genrest, which is the 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.960 rocker stereo o type. You know, the guy who does 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.480 nothing in school but just plays and plays and plays 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:07.640 and plays and plays until one day he's discovered and 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:10.440 he makes it big, or until one day he finds 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.400 himself working at a gas station for the rest of 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:14.599 his life. Yeah, well, no, that's not the way the 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:17.320 stereotype comes. Well, the other thing about Ritchie too, is 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.159 that after school and everything, he still read a lot, 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:23.200 and he was actually into literature and actually kind of 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:27.320 political history like a learned guy. Yeah. Well yeah, he 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:29.960 was yeah, smart guy and read a lot of important 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:33.240 books and all kinds of stuff and talked intelligently about them. Yeah. 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.320 I mean, I mean, let's be fair, though I haven't 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:39.719 listened to his music, but was he that good of 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:43.760 a musician? So there's there's two ways to split hairs 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:47.960 on that. He was not necessarily a good musician. Musician 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:52.080 in terms of being able to play an instrument. He 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:56.080 had some other talents that were very, very influential, and 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:58.680 we'll talk about those in a bit, But he couldn't 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:01.920 play the guitar. No, but he wasn't very good write 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.960 songs called the Good News Is for All Rock doesn't Matter. 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:11.800 Edwards initially started out working for the band as a 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:16.040 driver and roadie, and through a process that I'm not 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:21.000 completely clear on, he somehow managed to eventually be brought 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:24.880 on as a member of the band, well, the band 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:28.400 itself started. It's it's three people. There's three guys in 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:32.920 the band, and somehow he became the fourth member, starting 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.920 out as a road It's just it's weird. I didn't 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:38.440 go too deep down the rabbit hole on exactly how 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:42.400 he managed that, but he did. He had some singing 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:45.200 and singing and writing talent stuff. Well, and that's that's 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:48.400 part of it, because, like we said before, he wasn't 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.760 very good at playing the guitar, to the point that 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:55.000 there's actually a lot of contention that it may not 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:58.520 actually be him playing guitar on the albums that they 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:00.800 released when he was with the band. And well, apparently 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:03.680 I had heard that when they did concerts he had 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:05.240 a guitar and he was seen to be playing it, 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:07.720 but it was it was almost I was unplugged. There 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:11.080 was apparently a fair amount of that going on. He 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:14.160 apparently could also play the piano, but it appears that 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.120 keyboard was not something this band wanted, so he couldn't 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:21.200 rely on that talent. So you've got to wonder, Okay, well, 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:23.120 if if he if he's not that good with the 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:25.680 the instrument, then why are they keeping him around? And 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:28.880 the reason is that he was really good at, as 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:33.119 Devin said, promotion, and he was also he was fair. 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:36.600 He was really good with lyrics he wrote. He wrote 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:41.040 I think eighty or ninety percent of the lyrics that 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:44.480 were on the album that came out the year before 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:50.000 he disappeared. He did an awful lot of writing. Was 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:55.000 the Holy Bible that's the name of the album that released. 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.320 I mean I would guess that, you know what. One 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.560 of the guys in the band said like, oh, hey man, 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.000 your lyrics are pretty good. Um, do you want to 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.280 be our writer? And he was like, no, I'll be 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:09.320 in your band though, and they're like, okay, why not? 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.560 Why not? Yeah? Well, he did good things for the 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:15.280 band while he was absolutely so. Let's look at a 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:21.920 timeline of Ritchie and Manic Street Preachers up until and 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:28.480 shortly after his disappearance. Between the band was touring and 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:34.360 they also released two studio albums during that that time frame. 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:37.360 This actually all takes place what I'm about to talk about. 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:41.560 On the fifteenth of May. Richie gets into an altercation 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.719 with a journalist. He's a guy from n m E, 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.240 which is New Musical Express, which is a magazine that 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:49.959 I have not heard of, but apparently was big in 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:51.880 the UK at the time, and maybe it's I think 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:57.720 it still is around the journalists. Steve Lamock, It's no, 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:02.280 that's not me. It's wrong as far as our listeners 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:07.199 know that, it's totally not according to the reporting, and 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:11.720 this is reported almost exactly the same way every time. 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:18.360 But the quote is that the journalists had quote question 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:23.199 the band's authenticity and values and edwards seriousness and commitment 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:26.320 to his art end quote. That's kind of an absurd 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.040 question when you think about it. It is, and what 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:32.960 I feel, you know. What's also an absurd response to 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:37.000 it is what Edwards did in response to prove how 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:40.160 committed and how serious he was with his art. He 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.800 apparently at the time was carrying around raised blade in 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:45.960 his pocket and he pulled that out and he carved 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:50.079 into his forearm for real, the numeral four R E 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:54.520 A L that it's not it's not a nice He's 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:57.800 actually lucky he did it or two yeah, And apparently 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.600 that that was eighteen stitches is what it took to 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:04.480 fix that. It took only as yes, so he was 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:08.680 very lucky. And I think that might have been the 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.199 harbinger of things to come. Yeah, I kind of went 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:14.840 downhill from there. Huh. It did over time, because you know, 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:17.439 as I said, between you know, from one to ninety 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:20.760 two to ninety three, the band is touring, the releasing albums, 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.920 are getting more and more popular, and then in December 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:29.360 of ninety three, the their manager, Phil Hall dies of cancer. 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:34.000 Apparently that had a significant impact on Edwards. I'm sure 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:35.600 it had an impact on all of the guys in 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:38.240 the band, but it apparently, you know, he took he 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:42.199 didn't take it well, which is you know, I get that. 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:48.400 We move into in the beginning of Nur at the 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:52.000 age of either twenty five or twenty six, depending on 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:55.600 exactly when he got it, Richie Edwards gets his first 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.840 apartment or he gets his own apartment. He gets a 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:00.400 flat in Cardiff because before that he'd been living with 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.360 his parents, so he's out on his own, which is awesome. 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.560 Cardiff Wales, fun town out here. I've I've heard lots 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.000 of good things about it. Also seen a lot of 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:11.400 shows that are supposedly based in it. Their accents are cool. Yeah, 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:15.040 have you ever seen the written language. It's very fascinating. 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:23.320 It's like all consonants. In April of the band is 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:28.160 touring and they're in Bangkok and a fan comes up 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:32.760 to them and gives Richie a set of knives, which 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:35.920 he then promptly pulls out and uses to cut a 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:40.600 series of horizontal slashes across his chest. I wonder how 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.280 was he? Was he really a fan or was he 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:45.040 like a member of a rival band? I don't think so. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:46.560 But you know, the weird thing is is the first 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:48.880 time I saw that photo, because that photos out there 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:52.160 all over the place, he's he's just sitting around smoking 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.760 a cigarette and having a drink and no shirt on, 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:59.800 just you know, blood going down his front. To clarify, 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:04.040 because I just realized I had a moment of question, Uh, 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:09.640 Richie cut himself with the knives the friend gave him. Yeah, correct, Okay, 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:13.880 just appreciation. I love you you you should have this, 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:18.760 and he says sweet slash slash slash okay. I saw 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.559 the photo and I thought, at first, because it was 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:24.120 really pixelated, you how you'll find those scale down ones 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:28.040 that Google will blow up. And I thought, wow, he's 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:34.280 got this really interesting telephone poll wire tattoo thing on 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:36.920 his chest. That's that's interesting, and that I found a 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:40.720 better one. I was like, oh god, no, I mean 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:44.400 cuts to the chest bleed, they do, but oftentimes I 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:48.280 mean there's bone like right there. It doesn't take a 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:51.600 lot to bleed a lot. He cut himself, I would say, 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:55.760 about an inch or so above the point of a sternum. 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.240 So yeah, there's there. That's that's pretty thin. It's not 0:12:58.320 --> 0:12:59.880 like you could do a whole lot of damage. But 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.000 it's really it's the fact that he did it, which 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:06.160 is that he did it is crazy. Yes, that's shocking, right, 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:07.800 but the fact that he was just kind of like 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:11.839 chilling there afterwards, like they're not particularly I mean, he 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:14.240 can't be right, but they were probably shallow a little 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:17.400 like basically just you know, nicks that we're bleeding a 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.760 little bit, and that he was just having a cigarette 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:23.439 and enjoy you know. So I don't know he apparently 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.400 Also this is this is when some of his larger 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:29.840 issues begin to develop. I should clarify. Also, I'm not 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:36.200 trying to make light of self harm, no, because a 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:39.320 decent amount of length through here as we go. Um, 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.719 but he stopped eating at around that same time, so 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:47.200 you know, people say he was anorexic. I don't know. Well, 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:51.200 I mean, if you stop eating. Well do you know? 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.720 And I don't, And so if I get this wrong, 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:55.760 I just want to make sure that everybody understands. I 0:13:55.760 --> 0:14:01.520 don't know. Is anorexia the act of simply refusing to 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.040 eat or suspending eating or is it with the intention 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:09.600 of losing weight? Yeah? And actually is like, it's actually 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:11.720 more than that, and are actually is My understanding of 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.319 it is is that you have essentially kind of a 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:22.640 dysphoria which makes you believe that you're fat eating weight. Yeah, 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.800 It's an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:30.080 lose weight and refusing to eat. However, I will say 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:35.640 that sometimes it comes along with the desire to die 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.200 more than the desire to lose weight, Like if you 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.760 lose your will to live, you lose your will to eat. 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:45.040 And he did, and that can also be classified as anorexia, okay, 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:48.200 because he was known to suffer from about some depression, 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:51.120 so that that would explain it. Thank you. I appreciate 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.520 that I wasn't sure. After I had this all a 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:55.760 firm of me, I realized I didn't know the actual 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.200 definition of I mean of that, or at least a 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:02.080 good rough disorders like out are hard to classify. They 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.840 really are. There's all kinds of strange ones out there too. 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.840 Obviously concerned about Ritchie because these things are going on. 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:13.920 The band sends him home. They send him to what 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:18.920 is called in all of the reporting farm. I want you, 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.280 guys to send me to a health farm. I don't 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:24.480 know that you do, because depending on the type that 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.120 we choose, you may not be too keen on it. 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:28.920 Because I had never heard of a health farm, so 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:30.360 right to look it up, it might have been one 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:32.000 of those special health farms where there's a lot of 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:35.640 guys in white coats walking around. I mean, frankly, either 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:39.080 of them sounds great. A luxury spa or a place 0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:41.960 that's focused on helping me improve my diet and helping 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:44.480 me get exercise. I kind of need both of those. 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:47.680 So that's that's that's kind of the spectrum of what 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:50.480 you just said is the spectrum of what I have read. 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.240 The health farm is the spectrum that I get is 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.200 is like you said, it's a luxury spa. Or when 0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:00.280 I read the description of helping someone with their it 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:04.840 and exercise, I sort of read that maybe a bit 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:09.320 between the lines, as in, you're forced to take your meals. 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:14.160 It is not, you know, voluntary like they're really really 0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:17.600 I'm gonna use air quotes. You're strongly encouraging you to 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:19.880 eat again. Now again. This is all I guess on 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:21.960 my part, I don't know how these work. I just 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.360 don't know that you may enjoy your time so much 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:27.720 because it's not all mud baths and cucumbers on the eyeballs. 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:31.040 I'm sure there's a little counseling and involved two. And 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:33.400 it might be too. I assume that he wasn't allowed 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.560 to drink in there might be part of it, and 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:37.440 said he might have been getting all those calories through 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:41.080 booze and salo didn't feel all that hungry. Yeah, I 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:43.520 know plenty of people who have done that. Yeah. Yeah. 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:46.800 And and this this was apparently not the first time 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:48.840 he had been to a health farm. This was his 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.920 third trip actually, so he'd been there for a number 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:55.160 of times or a number of trips actually. And the 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:58.280 other band was actually remarkably accommodating. They you know, they 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:02.440 really were good friends, Richie. I think that's nice. They were. 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:06.560 I think they actually did. You know, we're a lot 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:08.000 of bands I think would have kicked him to the 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.280 curb after the second trip to the health farm, you know, 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:12.760 and I guess he missed a lot of shows and stuff. 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.280 He did, and as we talked about, he he misses 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:17.679 a whole bunch through this year. The good news is 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:19.560 his guitar was never really plugged in to begin with. 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.920 Good point, so they really were just losing him on vocals. Yeah, 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.199 which I mean fair enough, right, that's a that's a 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:31.240 significant loss, but that's kind of important. Let's step forward 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:37.560 in time. We're gonna go to July. Richie disappears. He 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:42.000 disappears for two days, and when he comes back, he 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:46.280 sent for rehab at Priory Hospital for a total term 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.280 of ten weeks because it was believed that he was 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:53.240 drinking the entire times. He was drunk the whole time, 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:57.239 and at the same time, he was self harming, so 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.080 he was cutting himself, and and his form of cutting 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:04.080 himself was hurting himself was not only to take a 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.680 knife to his forearms or other parts of his body. 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:10.360 He was also putting cigarettes out on himself. So he 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:13.919 was covered in these self inflicted wounds. That's why he 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:17.800 the band's whoa, we need to go something. I'll probably 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:19.520 something a little more serious than just the health for 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:22.160 you may be able to help me with this or not. 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:26.640 When he was doing his like self harm cutting thing. 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:30.760 You know, oftentimes there's self harm and there's attempted suicide, 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.679 and they are two different things. And so he was 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.600 self harming. He wasn't trying to kill himself. Yes, he 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:39.040 mean maybe he was. It was I think it was 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.600 doing the cutting. It was a half asked attempt at 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:44.800 at taking his own life, is what it's believe. Because 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.240 the self harm is not on the wrist like you 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.280 could see he had cuts from say the elbow down 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:53.480 where he was just cutting himself. I would say, I 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.280 would strongly say that's not a half asked attempt at 0:18:56.320 --> 0:19:00.480 killing herself. It's it's a self harm. Yes, But but 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:04.000 you know, these things escalating. So they knew he was troubled, 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:07.240 he had issues, and so they sent him to somebodace 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:11.080 to get help. He himself said that that cutting himself 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:13.000 was just a way of taking and taking his focus 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:15.359 off of things that were troubling him. But now all 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:17.280 of a sudden, you've got something bigger to worry about, 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:19.760 your little paint for this cut you just inflicted on yourself, 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.159 you know, so you're gonna be gonna be thinking so 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.720 much about this other stuff, and so it's a nice distraction. 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:31.760 And I admittedly do not understand that rationale and logic. 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:34.879 I feel for people who take that as a as 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:39.560 a way experience that as a way to cope with 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:43.520 other things, I don't get it. And if if you 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:47.479 do that, please seek help. Yeah, I can tell you 0:19:47.480 --> 0:19:50.240 it escalates and it's not a good not a good 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:56.639 habit from personal experience. Little corner here is that for me, 0:19:56.680 --> 0:20:00.679 it was always like, um, I like that's like what 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:02.840 you felt like you deserved is like you just deserve 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:04.400 to be in pain. You don't deserve to be happy, 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:06.000 You don't deserve to have your life going well. And 0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:09.479 oftentimes I think if I would extrapolate that out, like 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:11.560 if things were starting to go well for him with 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:13.840 the band and they were, you know, gaining influence and 0:20:13.880 --> 0:20:16.600 all that stuff, but he had this like deeply troubled 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:19.879 soul of like, you don't deserve that happiness. Then you 0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:22.919 know that that really can explain some of that escalation 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:26.119 and what Yeah, it would make it worse because you 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:28.679 would just continue to say like I don't deserve this, 0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:30.800 there's no you know, like and I deserve to be 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:33.120 in pain. I deserve to be miserable. I don't deserve 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:36.000 this amazing life that I found myself in. And that 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:40.480 can be like a really good mode of escalation there So, 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:45.800 but again, seek help, do hit please. People that listen 0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:50.040 are our podcasts are by definition, you know, very well balanced. 0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:53.880 You know people who are who really like to hear 0:20:53.920 --> 0:21:03.119 about murders, and by definition you are the definition. So 0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:07.200 they sent Richie to rehab basically like an inpatient rehab, 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:12.720 and because he is there, he misses a lot of things. 0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:16.520 He misses the release of the Holy Bible on the 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:22.359 thirty August, which is creative baby. Yes. Uh. He also 0:21:22.560 --> 0:21:26.800 misses quite a few shows. Uh. He is able to 0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:29.840 eventually rejoin the band for some of their shows in 0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:34.000 the UK, and then they go on a European tour. 0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:37.040 They go, they are the opening act for another band 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:42.280 called Swede. Everything seems good. It's for the band, I 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:47.200 should say, because for Richie things are continuing to maybe 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:50.119 things are devolving for him and degrading well, and I 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:54.000 can imagine that's also like a tour situation is an 0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:59.080 enabling situation if you're prone to drug abuse or alcohol abuse, 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.040 excess and kind of access, and then you know, maybe 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:04.760 that drug usage or that alcohol usage leads to your 0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:07.760 spiral of self harm. Like there's no I mean, that's 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.720 it's a hard environment to be in. I'm sure. Oh 0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:13.760 you know you think that he was doing enough self 0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:15.720 harm just with all the boozing. You think that you 0:22:15.800 --> 0:22:18.760 think that would have been enough. And those hangovers, I mean, 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:20.800 that's gotta hurt just about as bad as not a 0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:23.080 bunch of cut it's a that's that's a that's a 0:22:23.119 --> 0:22:26.639 slippery slope, sir. And it's a vicious circle. And and 0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:28.800 you know, and we talked about before that the band 0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:31.520 really was supportive of him to do whatever he needed 0:22:31.560 --> 0:22:36.000 to do to make himself, as they would say better there. 0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:39.480 I've got a quote here from Nicky Wire who he 0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:42.760 is one of the band members, and he told in 0:22:42.800 --> 0:22:46.119 an interview this was after Richie's disappearance. He said, we 0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:49.000 told Ritchie he could do whatever he wanted just right, 0:22:49.359 --> 0:22:52.719 just come to the studio, just tour, just whatever he 0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:55.560 needed to do to feel better. But he still wanted 0:22:55.600 --> 0:23:00.159 to be in the band end ut. So where as 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:03.520 they said take it easy, do what you want ease 0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:08.240 into things. He dove right back in all the way. 0:23:08.359 --> 0:23:10.760 He didn't. He didn't ease in or work it in 0:23:10.920 --> 0:23:14.560 at all, and that that couldn't have helped while they 0:23:14.560 --> 0:23:18.040 were on tour. Um and this is for their European tour. 0:23:18.720 --> 0:23:24.080 This is in November. I'm sorry I pause because I 0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:26.400 just was suddenly thinking about this as I'm reading it. 0:23:26.520 --> 0:23:30.719 Is Richie somehow gets ahold of a butcher's knife, and 0:23:31.119 --> 0:23:34.280 the band finds him with that knife, and he tells 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:36.560