Speaker 1: The Nicki Gliser Podcastick Glaser, here's Nikki. Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm in Saint Louis, Missouri. Guess who's here in studio
Speaker 1: with me?
Speaker 2: It's me, I guess.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted you.
Speaker 1: To get where you were. Brian Frandie is here in
Speaker 1: Saint Louis in studio. He was here this weekend working
Speaker 1: at a local comedy club opening for Adam Conover from
Speaker 1: Adam Muron's Everything.
Speaker 3: How was that of weekend of shows?
Speaker 2: Oh? Great weekend of shows? Said a great time.
Speaker 3: You hadn't been stand up in a really long time.
Speaker 2: Well, the last time I did like a weekend was
Speaker 2: in was right before my wedding, and I realized that's
Speaker 2: a long time. Totally forgot about that. Yeah, Chris said
Speaker 2: something pretty funny because Chris and Tim came out to
Speaker 2: see the first night of shows.
Speaker 3: I was gonna go, but I was tired.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's what I heard.
Speaker 1: No offense, but I would have liked to see you
Speaker 1: and then leave, But then I would have had to
Speaker 1: say for Adam. It's not that I don't want to
Speaker 1: see Adam, but I.
Speaker 2: Just didn't I thought you were out of town.
Speaker 1: I got back in town like an hour before, and
Speaker 1: I was so exhausted, but I did want to see you,
Speaker 1: but I thought it would be rude if I.
Speaker 3: Left right after you.
Speaker 2: Sure, sure, and not safe for Adam. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I just missed everything. You you missed everything, but
Speaker 1: I heard you were so good.
Speaker 2: I did a great job. Chris said something that really
Speaker 2: struck me on the on the ride home, because I
Speaker 2: was like talking about, like, you know, getting the rust
Speaker 2: off and stuff, and and he was like, it's really
Speaker 2: hard to be funny like twice a year. And I
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, you know that's right, because I'm like,
Speaker 2: how do I get better at this? How do I
Speaker 2: get better at stand up? And it was like, well,
Speaker 2: you gotta. It's hard to do it just twice a
Speaker 2: year and then and it's not like I'm only doing
Speaker 2: it twice a year, but like, you know, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't. It's not my priority.
Speaker 1: No, it's it's yeah, it's that's is the truth. When
Speaker 1: people dabble in it. You can dabble all you want,
Speaker 1: but don't expect to see results.
Speaker 2: No, it's like working out, it's like.
Speaker 3: Singing, it's like playing guitar.
Speaker 1: I'm not like, I can't be mad at myself for
Speaker 1: being a shitty guitar player when I play twice a month. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just it's I'm never going to grow from that.
Speaker 1: But it was a good week of shows. You by
Speaker 1: the end of the week, I but you felt strong
Speaker 1: because I felt very strong.
Speaker 2: I was doing all that. I was like doing bicep
Speaker 2: curls all weekend, and by the end I was like,
Speaker 2: I can lift a good amount.
Speaker 3: Stayed at Chris's place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I stayed at Chris's old place, his.
Speaker 1: Old place that he doesn't live in anymore. But he's
Speaker 1: like fixing up to maybe rent something, which.
Speaker 2: Is the second time I've stayed there without nice. It's
Speaker 2: very nice.
Speaker 3: You stay there longer more than I have.
Speaker 2: I've been there, I've slept, and Chris's more than you have.
Speaker 3: I really, you really have home.
Speaker 4: It's a very classy joint because one time I was
Speaker 4: on Zoom with Chris and I saw the background and
Speaker 4: I was like is that I was like, is that
Speaker 4: your real background or is that a photo? And He's like,
Speaker 4: oh no, that's my real background.
Speaker 3: It's so nice.
Speaker 5: He redid his whole kitchen. Yes, and it's a dream kitchen.
Speaker 5: It looks like the Zoom kitchen background. It's that good exactly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's very handy.
Speaker 5: You got in there like it's a It's an expensive
Speaker 5: ticket to get into the Convy House. I don't know
Speaker 5: that many people that have been in there.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he doesn't have many guests over.
Speaker 2: Oh really well, I feel very special and Chris is
Speaker 2: like the ultimate host there is. There could not be
Speaker 2: a better host. When I arrived at the house, there
Speaker 2: was like craft services set up in the kitchen, I know,
Speaker 2: with all of my favorite snacks.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, this is what he does.
Speaker 2: It was absurd.
Speaker 1: You think he might just do that because you're his girlfriend,
Speaker 1: but then you find out, no, he doesn't for anyone
Speaker 1: he cares about.
Speaker 3: He is he is. He's just someone. I was telling
Speaker 3: my dad.
Speaker 1: This weekend because I was hanging out with my dad
Speaker 1: and we were talking about my relationship, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: he just he'll do and this man will do anything
Speaker 1: for me anything if I were to ask him, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like if I'm in Dallas and he's here
Speaker 1: and I was like, I forgot my charger, he would overnight.
Speaker 3: He would overnight. He wouldn't go just get a new charger.
Speaker 1: He'd be like, obviously wants her charger, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to overnight it tomorrow first thing in the morning to
Speaker 1: go to the like he goes above and beyond he does,
Speaker 1: which we used to call having anal sex when when for.
Speaker 3: Some reason we would always say not about that girl.
Speaker 1: Really, I think we watched a porn once where the
Speaker 1: girl went the extra mile and it was having anal
Speaker 1: And so whenever I hear that, now.
Speaker 5: That should be the phrase for all, like for the world.
Speaker 5: Everyone should say I went the extra mile last night. Yes,
Speaker 5: like that should be the euphemism.
Speaker 3: The Hershey Highway.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's already Hershey Highway and they have mile workers.
Speaker 1: But uh yeah we And and then last night, I
Speaker 1: won't go into too many details, but Chris uh hung
Speaker 1: out with Bill Maher because he was in town and
Speaker 1: I wasn't. But they went out on the town hob
Speaker 1: nobbin and had a boys night. Yeah, yeah, they And
Speaker 1: yeah I'll tell that story at some point if I
Speaker 1: have permission to do so. But they went out on
Speaker 1: the town. They went on the wrong side of town,
Speaker 1: if you know what I'm saying. They went out and
Speaker 1: that just makes me so happy.
Speaker 2: Figure out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean now it sounds like they went cruising
Speaker 1: for hookers, which you know in many ways, the place
Speaker 1: they went is where you would go if you wanted to.
Speaker 2: Let's just put it this way. They spent a lot
Speaker 2: of money.
Speaker 1: Yes, I wonder how much he did spend, because I
Speaker 1: will say that when my boyfriend has been an establishment
Speaker 1: like this before.
Speaker 3: A year ago on his birthday, when I surprised.
Speaker 1: Him, he did greet me at the door with a
Speaker 1: handshake when he didn't know that I wasn't a lady
Speaker 1: of the night.
Speaker 2: That's the most incredible story I maybe ever heard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you hadn't heard it on the podcast I told
Speaker 3: you just in person.
Speaker 2: Way, Yeah, recently. I could not believe that.
Speaker 1: It is one of my best stories ever, is that
Speaker 1: I did that. People do think I'm a pretty cool
Speaker 1: check for doing that. It's like kind of one of
Speaker 1: my things where I go, Okay, that and putting a
Speaker 1: gummy worm in my vagina one time because I knew
Speaker 1: my boyfriend was gonna finger me when he picked me
Speaker 1: up from the airport and that was his favorite snack.
Speaker 1: But yeah, different Chris would not be entertained by that.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to hear about that. That would not
Speaker 1: he would go Clays, what the hell, because I do
Speaker 1: some gross stuff with him sometimes, But that would have
Speaker 1: that wouldn't have turned him on at all.
Speaker 5: He's like, these are from my craft services trade.
Speaker 1: He uh, yeah, he's a good he's a goodie. And
Speaker 1: he's in the other room watching football right now.
Speaker 3: When do you do this?
Speaker 2: He's keeping track.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're on your way out. I'm I just
Speaker 1: got in. I I flew from Calgary this morning. Calgary
Speaker 1: is so far west, I like forgot how far it is.
Speaker 1: I did go through Minneapolis. I woke up at four
Speaker 1: am in Calgary, which is mountain time here in the States,
Speaker 1: and then I landed at two pm Central time.
Speaker 3: So that's a good that's all over the places.
Speaker 1: An eleven yeah, ten hour, nine hours something like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was all over.
Speaker 2: And you do like one show in one city one night,
Speaker 2: and then you go to another city the following night.
Speaker 1: Which is like not the way it used to be,
Speaker 1: because it used to be clubs. You just stay in
Speaker 1: the same place all weekend. And I used to always
Speaker 1: go like, man, I can't wait. Actually I never said that.
Speaker 1: I never have wanted more than.
Speaker 3: What I have.
Speaker 1: I always am kind of happy with what I have.
Speaker 1: I've never been like I can't wait to play theaters.
Speaker 1: I knew it was coming, but I wasn't like chomping
Speaker 1: at the bit like some people aren't sure. Like I
Speaker 1: remember when I started doing theaters, Chris got me a
Speaker 1: cake that said see you later clubs, and I was like,
Speaker 1: but I've never really had this attitude about clubs. I
Speaker 1: liked that he said it, but I also was like,
Speaker 1: I will be back to clubs because I'm going to
Speaker 1: age some day and people will forget about me.
Speaker 3: I will be back in clubs because it's the way
Speaker 3: it goes.
Speaker 1: In fact, I'm going to be back at clubs this tour.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do some clubs. I'm doing the Brella
Speaker 1: Improv where Brian will be opening for me. Forget the
Speaker 1: dates on that.
Speaker 2: Do you remember December fourth or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Brian Improv. That's going to be so fun to
Speaker 1: be back in a club. And then I just found
Speaker 1: out I'm doing the Tempe Improv November sixteenth and seventeenth.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be in Vegas those dates, but
Speaker 1: they got canceled because of the F one races. So
Speaker 1: instead of being in Vegas, I'm gonna be at the
Speaker 1: Tempe Improv on those dates.
Speaker 3: So no one tee.
Speaker 2: That's the other place. That's the other place I did
Speaker 2: comedy this year in Tempee at the Tempe Improv.
Speaker 3: Oh, I love the name Tempe.
Speaker 2: Tempe is great.
Speaker 3: It's such a cute name.
Speaker 2: Sun Devils.
Speaker 3: And then yeah, so I was we were all over
Speaker 3: the place.
Speaker 1: Annie was with me open for me in Where were
Speaker 1: we Prier Lake, Minnesota, which is like thirty minutes away
Speaker 1: from Minneapolis, or at least the airport, but it was
Speaker 1: a it was.
Speaker 3: A casino called the Mystic Lake Casino.
Speaker 5: One of those cities where you just go Minnesota.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't say Prior Lake, Minnesota, Like, no, everyone
Speaker 1: would be like, Prior Lake, this is just a reservation
Speaker 1: that none of us know the name of. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was nice that was sold out show. Thank you to
Speaker 1: everyone for coming out to that. That was felt really
Speaker 1: really nice tout and see just like a giant fucking
Speaker 1: room of people who dedicated their night to come watch
Speaker 1: me and do stand up and uh it was awesome.
Speaker 1: That was and they had like I like when I
Speaker 1: the screens up on the side. Yeah, I mug a
Speaker 1: little bit more. It's more fun and it's more fun
Speaker 1: to watch screens. Like when I go see Taylor Swift,
Speaker 1: I'm watching the screens.
Speaker 2: Sure, so you mug a little bit.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like, oh, that's a good angle, Like I
Speaker 1: kind of like play to it. But yeah, people I
Speaker 1: can see the people watching the screen. I like that
Speaker 1: because it does it.
Speaker 5: Feel like it's a show. It's like more pro Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was nice and that the dinner was really delicious.
Speaker 5: Ironically, the only good place to get vegetarian options is
Speaker 5: at a steak restaurant. Turns out they do have the
Speaker 5: best veggie sides.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Yes, stake places do have the best
Speaker 3: veggie sides. You just gonna make sure they don't.
Speaker 1: Use bartersp That night I had I either don't have
Speaker 1: the gene to smell the pee, or I don't have
Speaker 1: the gene that makes your peace smell. So we've determined,
Speaker 1: or I didn't determine. Scientists determined that asparagus pea smell either.
Speaker 1: There are some people who can't smell it even if
Speaker 1: the smell is in the air. They need the gene
Speaker 1: for it. And then you also might not even have
Speaker 1: smell coming from your pea because you don't have that gene.
Speaker 1: So I don't think I have either, because i've I
Speaker 1: might have the peace smell, but I definitely don't.
Speaker 3: I'm not able to smell it.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that scientists figured that out. You know,
Speaker 2: they spent their valuable time, that's true, figuring out why
Speaker 2: are pea smells When we eat asparagus.
Speaker 1: I pea will smell exactly like almond milk. Though when
Speaker 1: I eat too much, drink too much almond milk, like,
Speaker 1: it's nothing, it changes. It's almost almond milk. Nothing nothing.
Speaker 2: That means your body didn't er anything from the almond milk.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 2: A lot of almond milk is just like carriagene and
Speaker 2: other emulsifiers.
Speaker 3: Oh, I know, it's so gross.
Speaker 1: Chris started buying this almond milk that has no additives,
Speaker 1: it has no what, it has no carriagene, and it
Speaker 1: has no oil.
Speaker 3: It all has oil in it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's so ross.
Speaker 5: And your own.
Speaker 2: You can make your own.
Speaker 3: I would never do that.
Speaker 5: My friend used to do it. And you get like
Speaker 5: a nut milk bag and you like.
Speaker 3: Scuguital I can't make it.
Speaker 1: I just sent you a thing that Bethany Frankel made
Speaker 1: that I'm like, I could make yeh, like I can
Speaker 1: make a little snack.
Speaker 5: I wanted to write you about that because the way
Speaker 5: she says.
Speaker 1: Almond, almond, almond, h m I n d amen almond yeah,
Speaker 1: g L Yeah, that's kind of annoying someone. I just
Speaker 1: saw a podcast call out people that say cupon, cupon,
Speaker 1: and that has been annoying me. There was a Nate
Speaker 1: Nate Bargatzi clip recently going around and he said cupon
Speaker 1: the whole time, and I was just like, I know
Speaker 1: that's a dialect. I know that people just say that
Speaker 1: that way.
Speaker 2: Two questions. One is, how do you say the fluffy
Speaker 2: thing that you sleep on a mattress, I mean the
Speaker 2: fluffy thing that goes onto your head, that goes your head.
Speaker 1: A pillow, pillow not a pillow.
Speaker 2: It's not a pillow. People say pellow.
Speaker 5: Why yeah?
Speaker 3: And then I think no one might say pellow.
Speaker 2: You say, you seem like a person that says pillow.
Speaker 1: Noah, pillow, Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: And then and then you have almond blank the stuff
Speaker 2: you're just drinking. And then how do you say the
Speaker 2: next word milk.
Speaker 3: Just kidding, milk.
Speaker 2: I don't people say milk.
Speaker 3: I know they do.
Speaker 5: Atrocity, yeah, a criminal offense.
Speaker 1: Remember Hannah from The Bachelor, everything that ended in I
Speaker 1: n g's I've been thinking about fall ink in love
Speaker 1: with you every Yeah, everything is ink and it's it's
Speaker 1: like almost like a Southern thing.
Speaker 3: That you think people do think.
Speaker 5: I've been dancing that one that you say, weird?
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? You say, wait, spell it v E g A s.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: I've struggled this with this one forever, but I say it.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get better Vegas. Oh that's correct, but
Speaker 1: I say Vegas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Vegas.
Speaker 5: It sounds like it.
Speaker 3: Should be Vegas. Yeah, I like Vegas.
Speaker 1: So I got called on that years ago, and then
Speaker 1: I switched over to Vegas and I would literally in
Speaker 1: my head c v A y g U S because
Speaker 1: I was so bad about pronouncing it. And now I
Speaker 1: guess I'm back to Vegas, back to Vegas.
Speaker 3: I like.
Speaker 5: I guess she pronounces this part of Los Angeles l
Speaker 5: O S space flie. But Brian, how do you say it?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Sorry? Oh well, uh, I've been I've been called out
Speaker 2: by a Hispanic person for saying it wrong, and I
Speaker 2: forgot how they told me to say it. But I
Speaker 2: would say I would say lows, I would say los police, but.
Speaker 5: Everyone in La says los felis, which is los felis.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's how you're supposed to say it.
Speaker 3: No, it's not.
Speaker 2: I forgot what this man told me, but he yelled
Speaker 2: at me on the streets.
Speaker 3: I don't know why.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's like felice means happy in Spanish, and
Speaker 2: that's felice, like the song, but the name.
Speaker 1: When you go there, no one's smiling. Everyone's too cool
Speaker 1: to smile.
Speaker 5: Would you asparagus pea? If I would you get drunk
Speaker 5: into a bathroom?
Speaker 3: You okay? Because I don't think.
Speaker 1: It's like smells like shit, you know, it just smells
Speaker 1: like kind of acidic or what. It's probably gonna smell funky,
Speaker 1: but it's not going to make me like want to barf.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 3: No, it doesn't like gray.
Speaker 5: Oh, it smells like BV as well.
Speaker 1: It smells se BV makes me sick.
Speaker 3: That fish smell.
Speaker 1: Smell sell your own, then you can be able to
Speaker 1: smell hers. But I might not have the gene that
Speaker 1: makes so I might be able to smell it, and
Speaker 1: this would be determining because I ate probably forty stalks
Speaker 1: of asparagus the other night because we ordered we did
Speaker 1: a double order and Chris didn't like it, so I
Speaker 1: ate all of his and I did not smell anything
Speaker 1: in my pea, but Chris might have.
Speaker 3: You know, Chris might have smelled it from the next
Speaker 3: room and been like Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: I could eat like a half of a half of
Speaker 2: an asparagus and it'll smell Yeah.
Speaker 5: Really yeah, same me too.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is a great thing.
Speaker 5: That Brian brings up. We should smell each other's pee,
Speaker 5: like maybe it's genetic to us, Like maybe I can't
Speaker 5: smell Nikki's asparagus pee, but I could.
Speaker 1: No, because no, you can smell it on everyone. I
Speaker 1: think if you can smell it, but some people don't
Speaker 1: have the smell, so you wouldn't be able to if
Speaker 1: I didn't have the smell in mind, you wouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to spell it even if you could smell it.
Speaker 2: I think this reminds me of something like when I
Speaker 2: was in college, like when I would make a suggestion that,
Speaker 2: like you should all go to dinner, and then everyone
Speaker 2: would be like what the fuck's wrong with you. That's
Speaker 2: like you suggest saying that we should all smell each
Speaker 2: other's pee, we should all look at each other's I mean.
Speaker 3: I was just gonna say that on you.
Speaker 2: I think that's what we used to do before we forget.
Speaker 2: I do want to say that a bestie came to
Speaker 2: one of the shows uh in Saint Louis that I
Speaker 2: was at this Weekend's so nice and she and I
Speaker 2: don't do like a I don't go outside and stand
Speaker 2: there and wait for people to say good job to me.
Speaker 2: I usually just disappear. But she went up to Adam,
Speaker 2: who was doing a meet and green, and said I
Speaker 2: want to meet Brian. And then Adam texted me and
Speaker 2: was like, you should come out here. There's someone who
Speaker 2: came to see you. Yay. And I was so flattered
Speaker 2: and so happy.
Speaker 3: That's so sweet.
Speaker 2: I came out and she was there and she's like,
Speaker 2: I'm a bestie and I was like, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: You came here to see me? Are you kidding?
Speaker 1: And she was like, yeah, I came to see tell
Speaker 1: you that you seem taller in person because people can't
Speaker 1: believe how tall you are.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I'm not that tall.
Speaker 3: Well, you're six foot.
Speaker 2: Five eleven and a half. I never made it to six.
Speaker 1: Okay, well you come off tall like Anya and Noah
Speaker 1: or Noah. I think both of them thought you were shorter.
Speaker 1: They thought you were five eight.
Speaker 4: Yeah, wait, you thought he was like five to four.
Speaker 4: I thought he was tiny, though he was a tiny
Speaker 4: Let's go through our heights because people don't know. I'm
Speaker 4: five nine, Brian, you're five eleven and a half. Anya's
Speaker 4: five two.
Speaker 5: Brian. You've never met me, So what do I project? Like?
Speaker 5: What am I presenting?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Survey?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you seem like a tall thin like you. You
Speaker 2: seem order because nine I think I I wouldn't be
Speaker 2: shocked if you were five nine, not at all. Actually,
Speaker 2: I think Nicky is much taller. I always thought Nikki
Speaker 2: was much taller.
Speaker 5: Ye, nick five eleven, you read.
Speaker 2: Like you could play basketball.
Speaker 3: Usually people say you're much taller than I thought.
Speaker 1: But then recently I've been getting you seem taller on TV,
Speaker 1: so I don't know what to think about it.
Speaker 3: Interesting. I want to be five to ten, just like
Speaker 3: Taylor Swift.
Speaker 5: I just have to say, but I've met Noah. I've
Speaker 5: seen Noah in the.
Speaker 4: Brian, what do you think my height is?
Speaker 2: I think, I mean, I do believe you're short. That
Speaker 2: based on even though I've never met you, I you've
Speaker 2: you've seen your personality is that of a short person
Speaker 2: comes short? Okay.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say, let's say you're a spinner like I
Speaker 5: look at you and I'm like, she's a spinner like shorts.
Speaker 5: It means like it's a thing guys say, like you
Speaker 5: want to put this.
Speaker 1: You can put them on your dick and then you
Speaker 1: could just spin them around, spin them around.
Speaker 5: Because you are that one that is a compliment.
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, Yeah, because you're because Noah's incredibly nice.
Speaker 2: And then she could also destroy you. And that's what
Speaker 2: a short person's personality is.
Speaker 1: Like, Yes, how tall are you? Noah five three? By
Speaker 1: the same yeah, and Anya five.
Speaker 5: Three, I'm probably like three yes are you shureing?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? If I if you were to ask
Speaker 2: me who is a taller, I would say Anya without question.
Speaker 5: The height is okays, this makes me happy because that
Speaker 5: means I'm cun to your sounding. And when I was
Speaker 5: on the radio for you know, as a DJ, I
Speaker 5: would meet people all the time in San Diego. It
Speaker 5: would be like, oh my god, no offense. And this
Speaker 5: is such a weird piece of feedback. I thought you
Speaker 5: were like a bigger brunette.
Speaker 1: What does that?
Speaker 5: One hundred percent of the people that would say I
Speaker 5: thought you looked different?
Speaker 3: What it is all said to.
Speaker 1: Meet bigger brunettio radio people's voices. I mean, now we
Speaker 1: can kind of see everyone because of social media, but
Speaker 1: like back.
Speaker 3: In the day the radio, I fell in love what
Speaker 3: the fuck? And then you matter?
Speaker 2: I felt there was a back years and years ago.
Speaker 2: I was listening to some random podcast off of MPR
Speaker 2: or something and the person's voice was like, I think
Speaker 2: I need to meet this person that I'm in love
Speaker 2: with this person Yeah, And then I did wind up
Speaker 2: seeing a picture of them and I was like, I
Speaker 2: don't need to meet them. Yeah, I don't think I
Speaker 2: need to meet them. Actually, I know. It was disappointing
Speaker 2: to me because I'm like, now I know the face,
Speaker 2: the voice, and it would be nice if I just
Speaker 2: imagined whatever I wanted, yes with the voice, yes, But
Speaker 2: can I just say it really quickly? Her name was
Speaker 2: Jessica h. That was the best dude that came to
Speaker 2: the show, so shout out to Jessica h shout out.
Speaker 1: To Natalie and Maddie and Alan, who are the names
Speaker 1: of the besties who I met last night or maybe
Speaker 1: the night before too, and who and there were some
Speaker 1: other besties who gave me present and stuff, like so
Speaker 1: many came out and gave me cards and a little
Speaker 1: picture frame and so many nice things. And we just
Speaker 1: love it so much, So thank you so much for
Speaker 1: doing this.
Speaker 5: You aara bestie, and you're trying to do the thing
Speaker 5: where you get into the show for free, and you've
Speaker 5: come alone and all that. Don't wait. If there's a
Speaker 5: long line in front of me and you're waiting to
Speaker 5: be polite, just cut ahead of the line and just
Speaker 5: quickly be like, Anya, can I get into the show
Speaker 5: really quick? I came along. Yeah, there were one of things,
Speaker 5: yesdies that were waiting in a very long line that
Speaker 5: almost missed the meat and grace. So just just do that,
Speaker 5: promise you it'll be fine.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's that's good. Thanks Anya for saying that. All Right,
Speaker 3: we gotta go to break. We'll be back with more
Speaker 3: for this. All right, we're back.
Speaker 1: There is a new Nikki pod memes that just came
Speaker 1: up whoever does that, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: We love it.
Speaker 1: And this one is like a drawing of a man
Speaker 1: and there are three different ones, and it says headache
Speaker 1: and his like a head, his head has like a
Speaker 1: red spot on it stomach ache, and then there's like
Speaker 1: red where his stomach is, and then Brian is just
Speaker 1: the whole man is red? It is?
Speaker 3: Where does it hurt?
Speaker 2: I just can't wait until that's not true.
Speaker 3: I know, yeah one day, what are you at today?
Speaker 2: Oh bad? It's been really yeah, but I do want
Speaker 2: to say, never tell us who you are, Niki pod
Speaker 2: Memes creator like, it's just like the voice. We don't
Speaker 2: want to know what you look like. We don't want
Speaker 2: to see your face. We don't want to know who
Speaker 2: you actually are. We just want to imagine. I have
Speaker 2: ten You might you feel like a person who's five
Speaker 2: to ten, but we just want to imagine you. The
Speaker 2: perfect version of you is in each of our heads
Speaker 2: as a different thing. So you're going to disappoint one
Speaker 2: of us if you reveal your identity.
Speaker 1: I never get worried about Nikki pod Memes of doing
Speaker 1: of making me upset or offending me. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: feel really safe with it. Because I don't think many
Speaker 1: meme accounts would make me feel safe. It's like when
Speaker 1: someone does an impression of you where you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can't wait for this, but you're just like waiting
Speaker 1: for something really offensive to happen. So Nikki Pod means
Speaker 1: you never disappoint me. I'm never like what's this going
Speaker 1: to be? It always makes you feel good. There was
Speaker 1: one meme you did once where Chris saw it and
Speaker 1: was like, will you explain this to me? To me
Speaker 1: because it was like it was something about Chris going
Speaker 1: on like some expedition and then me pulling up Tinder
Speaker 1: because I had made the joke like if he dies
Speaker 1: doing something like okay, babe, go like scale mountaintops, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like go get back on Rya. Yes, And
Speaker 1: so once I explained it, he was fine, but he
Speaker 1: was like, you want to tell me what this means.
Speaker 3: I kind of liked it because I was like, are
Speaker 3: you scared to lose me?
Speaker 1: Sometimes you want to feel a little jolt of like
Speaker 1: your partners, a little territorial.
Speaker 2: Of course, it feels nice, spark.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when they hit you, it means they love you.
Speaker 1: They're scared to lose you yeah, but yeah, it was
Speaker 1: a fun weekend.
Speaker 3: What if you think of any of your airport experience.
Speaker 4: You said there was like a family there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, so there was like a family at
Speaker 1: my gate today that I was at first it was
Speaker 1: like a husband with the nanny and the kids, right,
Speaker 1: And at first I was trying to clock if he
Speaker 1: had a crush on the nanny, if they were like
Speaker 1: flirting at all, and there was like some light flirting.
Speaker 3: But it didn't bother me. I was like, I don't
Speaker 3: think it could have just like flirting is very it's
Speaker 3: there's there's.
Speaker 1: A fine line, yeah, because he could have just been
Speaker 1: being nice and she could be laughing at what he says.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm painting this whole, Like I just
Speaker 1: read this Esther Pearrell, you know, article about cheating and
Speaker 1: how it doesn't mean that your marriage is unhealthy necessarily.
Speaker 1: It's just a lot of people cheat just to find
Speaker 1: another part of themselves or to like have a kind
Speaker 1: of adventure, and it has nothing to do with your partner,
Speaker 1: like not satisfying a part of you. Like there's nothing
Speaker 1: they can do to like actually give you that thing
Speaker 1: that they need, which is like I just need to
Speaker 1: feel live for a little bit. I need a shoplift,
Speaker 1: I need to do something wrong, I need to smoke
Speaker 1: cigarettes behind the shop class or whatever. You know, like
Speaker 1: you just want to feel bad and like there's nothing
Speaker 1: your partner can do to like give you that. So
Speaker 1: it's as it really has nothing to do with your partner.
Speaker 1: So I liked this article that I read about it
Speaker 1: because I'm interested, I think, And I posted on my
Speaker 1: Instagram of this article called why happy People Cheat? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I thought it was interesting because it's just an
Speaker 1: to me. It doesn't mean that I'm like I'm gonna cheat,
Speaker 1: or I want Chris to cheat, or like I think
Speaker 1: Chris is cheating, or I'm cheating. Like I don't want
Speaker 1: to be anyone to think that because I'm posting this,
Speaker 1: I'm like in favor of cheating. I just like subject
Speaker 1: matters that are taboo seemingly even though so many people
Speaker 1: are doing them or it's happened so much. And I
Speaker 1: was listening to a Dak Shepherd podcast with Esther Perell,
Speaker 1: and he said a really interesting thing, which is, like,
Speaker 1: you know, we talk a lot about addiction on this show.
Speaker 1: We talk a lot about eating disorders, and things like that.
Speaker 1: But he's like, I think infidelity is the subject matter
Speaker 1: out of all the things we talk about that are taboo,
Speaker 1: that affects more people than all of them. And I
Speaker 1: thought that that was such a true statement that the
Speaker 1: cheating people don't talk about it, but it's happening all
Speaker 1: the time around us, and people don't have People can
Speaker 1: quit and then never talk about it again. So it's
Speaker 1: like it can be happening and never get addressed. It's
Speaker 1: almost not like an addiction in terms of it's always
Speaker 1: gonna spiral out of control. Are kind of always on
Speaker 1: a slippery slope. It's eventually you're going to reach a bottom,
Speaker 1: like you can't do it forever. It's gonna like raise
Speaker 1: some red flags. Cheating can happen, then go dorm, it
Speaker 1: happen again, like little things pop up here and there
Speaker 1: can be a one night stand and it happens all
Speaker 1: the time. And I think, I think that's why I'm
Speaker 1: drawn to it, is I'm fascinated by things that are
Speaker 1: happening a ton and everyone's like, no, I would never
Speaker 1: do that. No one in my family's ever cheated. We
Speaker 1: never cheat. Cheating's the worst thing that you could ever do,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's people equate it with like a
Speaker 1: hit and run as how bad it is, or a murder,
Speaker 1: and it's way more common. In fact, you're listening your
Speaker 1: parents probably a stop sign. It's like, yes, thank you, Anya,
Speaker 1: it is totally rolling a stop sign. And I think
Speaker 1: that the data around it is just you know, That's
Speaker 1: why I like talking about molestation because this weekend Chris
Speaker 1: was like, hey, if you're going to talk about this
Speaker 1: and maybe give some stats on stage, because I say
Speaker 1: one and four people were molested, but I don't even
Speaker 1: know where I heard that. He was like, you should
Speaker 1: probably look that up and like give the actual stats.
Speaker 1: So I want to say the actual stat and this
Speaker 1: is only self reported, sure, which so let's be honest
Speaker 1: sexual abuse. Self reports are not telling the whole story
Speaker 1: because there's so much shame around it. But it is
Speaker 1: even realized one in five women were molested before the
Speaker 1: age of you know, eighteen, so like as children, one
Speaker 1: in five and then one and twenty men, and I
Speaker 1: would venture to guess that number for men is way
Speaker 1: higher because women have a lot more, uh, we have
Speaker 1: a lot more opportunity to talk about our sexual assaults
Speaker 1: and it's it's less taboo for us to speak of
Speaker 1: for getting sexual assaulted than men, So I would venture
Speaker 1: to guess it's more like one in ten for men.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so I was kind of hardy, had my
Speaker 1: mind around like cheating or whatever. And so I'm watching
Speaker 1: this like dad and he's taught. He's like, girls, do
Speaker 1: you want to call your mom? Is two little girls
Speaker 1: and this one little girl. I had just done the
Speaker 1: whordle and I had like failed really miserably at it.
Speaker 1: It was like a bad one today. I like didn't
Speaker 1: get it and I failed, and and five guesses couldn't
Speaker 1: get it. And this little girl's probably like seven, and
Speaker 1: I hear her like working out, and she's like, mom,
Speaker 1: can I or maybe it wasn't it was a different
Speaker 1: little girl because she asked her mom. So this is
Speaker 1: a different family. Sorry, they were all kind of together.
Speaker 1: She's like, mom, can I do the wordle? Or like
Speaker 1: maybe do her babysitter?
Speaker 3: Can I do the wordle?
Speaker 1: And she and that she pulls up the wordle and
Speaker 1: on her iPad and the girl's going so it's either
Speaker 1: binge binge, And I was like I wanted to go,
Speaker 1: like it's bingeing, And I was like, how did I
Speaker 1: not get binge?
Speaker 3: That's like one the thing I think about doing all
Speaker 3: the time. But this little girl got it.
Speaker 1: And then she went over to dad and she was like, see, Dad,
Speaker 1: it could either be this one or this one.
Speaker 3: She was so smart.
Speaker 1: I was like, this girl might save us from climate change,
Speaker 1: Like this is our future.
Speaker 3: I kind of believe in and think, like seven.
Speaker 2: Probably figure out binge.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I knew the word binge. I was like wow.
Speaker 1: So then because when she started the wordle, I was like,
Speaker 1: there's no way she's gonna get it. Now, you're too
Speaker 1: young to understand the depths of that disorder. And then
Speaker 1: I go, wait, there's lots of binging for like entertainment.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's seeped in somehow. Now we use that word
Speaker 1: kind of, you know, for TV, and.
Speaker 2: Maybe more young people are using that word because of
Speaker 2: Netflix and stuff like that, and we just don't realize it.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's more common. Maybe it's top of mind for her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It could be just.
Speaker 2: Very yeah lucky. He's not gonna solve anything.
Speaker 5: He's smarty.
Speaker 3: But she was so cute.
Speaker 1: And I was watching this family and I was kind
Speaker 1: of having the thing of like, oh God, I'm like
Speaker 1: this older woman who's passed up on this opportunity. And
Speaker 1: I'm like kind of looking at this family like, oh,
Speaker 1: that could be me, and I could be helping my
Speaker 1: daughter like with the wordle and talking to her about
Speaker 1: it like it seems kind of fun. And then and
Speaker 1: then I saw the dad talking on the phone to
Speaker 1: the mom. And the mom he first of all, he
Speaker 1: answers the phone, he goes, he goes, he goes, hey,
Speaker 1: or he didn't answer phone. He calls her, he goes,
Speaker 1: I just want to ask you, when do do you
Speaker 1: think our kids have ever been to the cheesecake factory?
Speaker 1: You could tell she was like, what are you talking about, John?
Speaker 1: And she he goes, no, it's a simple question, have
Speaker 1: our kids been to the cheesecake factory? And then she's
Speaker 1: again like what are you saying. He's like, Nope, it's
Speaker 1: just one question with one answer. Have our children been
Speaker 1: to the cheesecave? Faundery Now his children are a seven
Speaker 1: year old girl and a four year old boy, approximately
Speaker 1: maybe five year old boy. And he goes, because they haven't,
Speaker 1: they haven't. We were driving, we drove past one and
Speaker 1: she asked, is there cheesecake in there?
Speaker 3: And I go, what are you talking about? Is their
Speaker 3: cheesecake in there?
Speaker 1: So we took them for breakfast today and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: the nanny went with you to and it's like eleven
Speaker 1: thirty and they're at their gate. I'm like, you went
Speaker 1: to Cheesecave friundery like nine am. It was very confusing.
Speaker 2: Flight.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So then I kind of like this guy's demeanor with
Speaker 1: the mom though. He seemed like a funny dude. And
Speaker 1: then at one point he says to the daughter, Reese
Speaker 1: or whatever her name is, do you want to do
Speaker 1: recycling club after school? Which is an adorable club, And
Speaker 1: I'm thinking this girl can save the world. Yes, you
Speaker 1: want to do recycling club after school?
Speaker 3: And she goes. She looks up from her iPad and
Speaker 3: she's like, yeah, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 3: I thought that was so cute that she's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I want to say it.
Speaker 1: She goes after school yeah yeah, and so she goes, yes,
Speaker 1: she does want to do it, and she goes, wait,
Speaker 1: do waye dad, Dad?
Speaker 3: Dad? Then who's gonna.
Speaker 1: Pick up Owen? Owen needs someone to pick him up?
Speaker 1: And he goes, no, don't don't worry. We've got it.
Speaker 3: Like, but I was like, this is my daughter.
Speaker 1: That's me always worried about like her little brother, but
Speaker 1: who's gonna pick it? Like she's trying to figure out
Speaker 1: older daughter symptoms of like trying to figure out the
Speaker 1: whole thing, like worrying about all the puzzle pieces when
Speaker 1: really your job is a seven year old do you
Speaker 1: want to go to a recycling club or not? You
Speaker 1: don't need to worry about who's gonna pick up.
Speaker 5: Oh, we have swim practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Speaker 1: And I just was like, Oh, this girl is inn
Speaker 1: Like I just know what her life is going to
Speaker 1: look like, always taking care of everyone else. I was like,
Speaker 1: then I just just determined that one of her parents
Speaker 1: is probably an alcoholic. I like, he has to figure
Speaker 1: out owen's gonna get forgotten?
Speaker 2: That happened once and then she never let that go
Speaker 2: and now she's like every time there's an issue, I
Speaker 2: need to be on top of it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like I was obsessive about my sister being kidnapped because
Speaker 1: I just thought my parents were a little too free
Speaker 1: with her. Yeah, I had learned about kidnappers, and I
Speaker 1: knew I wouldn't get kidnapped because I was smart and
Speaker 1: vigilant and not that cute, and I knew my sister
Speaker 1: was adorable and kind of like just toddling around and
Speaker 1: would probably attract one and I was obsessed with it, obsessed,
Speaker 1: and my parents didn't.
Speaker 3: Care at all.
Speaker 2: Doesn't that suck that in order to create that kid
Speaker 2: that you're like, this could be my daughter. I would
Speaker 2: love this kid. She had to go through some kind
Speaker 2: of trauma to become that person. Yes, Otherwise she'd just be, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'll do recyclor she would be like, no, I don't
Speaker 2: want to do recycling club. She'd be like on her iPad,
Speaker 2: not even look up when he spoke. Yep. But because
Speaker 2: she's got an alcoholic parent, she's like a perfect child. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because they're at the cheesecake factory boozing it up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they can't believe they haven't brought their daughter to the
Speaker 1: cheesecake p I am.
Speaker 5: Well, they could be any kind of aholic, you know, maybe.
Speaker 1: They That's what I mean, like exercise aholic. They have
Speaker 1: some kind of addiction in their house, which.
Speaker 2: Who the fuck does?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 3: Everyone does?
Speaker 2: Well? What I want to know is what was the
Speaker 2: why was the mom so hesitant to give up the
Speaker 2: information of whether or not the children.
Speaker 1: She was just like, why is my husband being so
Speaker 1: cheeky right now? Like why did he not say hello?
Speaker 1: And he just answered the phone with like he's just
Speaker 1: being this weird guy that he is, Like he was
Speaker 1: trying to be funny, you know, Like I thought I
Speaker 1: kind of liked their dynamic. It was almost like flirty,
Speaker 1: like our kids haven't been to the cheesecake factory. And
Speaker 1: then but then this is what I'm plugged by when
Speaker 1: I do see young girls or young boys is like
Speaker 1: all I can think about. Almost all I can think
Speaker 1: about is what you're saying exactly of like how much
Speaker 1: they have to go through, Like they have to have
Speaker 1: a first crush, They have to have someone make fun
Speaker 1: of them. They have to worry about a test that
Speaker 1: means literally nothing. They have to worry about college that
Speaker 1: means literally nothing. They have to worry about. They have to,
Speaker 1: you know, figure out what shoes go with what jeans,
Speaker 1: They have to like spin the bottle. They have to
Speaker 1: study like what they're gonna do with their tongues when
Speaker 1: they make out. They have to like stay all night
Speaker 1: thinking about that.
Speaker 3: They don't know.
Speaker 1: They have to learn every lesson they have to learn.
Speaker 1: They have to intern somewhere and not make any money.
Speaker 3: It's life. But to go through it, I want it.
Speaker 3: I want to skip it.
Speaker 2: No life sucks, say that is what we don't want
Speaker 2: to go through life.
Speaker 1: I saw a meme the other day that said, thank
Speaker 1: God you only live once.
Speaker 3: I can't do this shit again.
Speaker 2: Ship.
Speaker 1: When I get jealous of the youth, I always I
Speaker 1: think that's maybe a defense mechanism because I have such
Speaker 1: jealousy of young people and like, Wow, they get to
Speaker 1: do a whole life and they get to have all
Speaker 1: the fun that I had as a kid. But then
Speaker 1: I think about all the things that they like are
Speaker 1: gonna go through.
Speaker 3: I just want to say that I have.
Speaker 1: A memory, and this is maybe one of the reasons
Speaker 1: I don't want to have kids, because my envy issues
Speaker 1: are so exhaustive and so crippling to me. I'm not
Speaker 1: joking you, and I probably reference on the pod before,
Speaker 1: but I promise you I can now track it to
Speaker 1: the day I said it.
Speaker 3: I was in bed with my mom. It was after school.
Speaker 1: We were probably watching like some kind of like daytime
Speaker 1: TV show, fourth or fifth grade, third, fourth or fifth grade.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing it was third because I remember being very
Speaker 1: very young and my mom being like almost goffawing that
Speaker 1: I said this, And I said to her, yeah, I've
Speaker 1: said this before, I think, but I think this is
Speaker 1: actually who I am. I said, because she's MYA says
Speaker 1: something like, well, when you have kids, you'll do this,
Speaker 1: and I go, I'm never gonna have kids. And she
Speaker 1: was like why and I was like, because I'll be
Speaker 1: jealous of them because they're younger than me.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: And she said what And I go, you're jealous of
Speaker 1: me because I'm younger than you.
Speaker 3: You have to be. How can you not be?
Speaker 1: I'm younger, I'm plucking tinier, I'm in third pop. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I have like third or fourth grade. I just knew
Speaker 1: being young is the best.
Speaker 3: How could you not?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Everything in our society is about being young and youthful.
Speaker 1: And I remember, and I just remember being like, mom,
Speaker 1: are you jealous of me? And Laura and her going
Speaker 1: why And the only reason I remember this is because
Speaker 1: of her reaction being so crazy and her going why
Speaker 1: would you ask.
Speaker 3: Something like that? That's insane? No, I'm not. And I
Speaker 3: remember being.
Speaker 5: You're like, but look at my abs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember being I was tying, I was little telig. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I had my whole life out of me. I already
Speaker 1: heard her complaining about cellulite and wrinkles and things like that.
Speaker 1: Like that's so, I honestly do think. I don't think
Speaker 1: I would struggle with it because I think when you
Speaker 1: have a kid, you're just like, this is my kid.
Speaker 3: I'm not jealous of my kid. But we know that
Speaker 3: there are moms who.
Speaker 1: Are jealous of their kids, and they try to dress
Speaker 1: like them, and they try to hang out with their kid.
Speaker 3: You know, like heared, I would.
Speaker 2: Be jealous, absorb the youth from a child and steal
Speaker 2: it from them. I would do it, vampire, I would
Speaker 2: take their youth. Well, vampire, at least you give them
Speaker 2: eternal life. But if I could, if I could just
Speaker 2: take the youth and then and then I have their
Speaker 2: youth and then they fade away, Yes, I don't. I couldn't,
Speaker 2: especially when I'm in my eighties or something. I don't
Speaker 2: know if I could say no to that, I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're gonna yeah, yeah, where does that come from?
Speaker 2: It's like an episode of Charmed, Like there's like a
Speaker 2: demon can suck the youth out of somebody and then
Speaker 2: they turn to an old person. Yes, and then you're
Speaker 2: young and you're beautiful.
Speaker 4: One time I was in a cab in Los Angeles
Speaker 4: going to the airport, and the lady that was driving
Speaker 4: me was telling me that there's like an underground in
Speaker 4: Hollywood that has all of that.
Speaker 1: So no ever of young Like when you see young
Speaker 1: girl girls and kids, do you ever get jealous of
Speaker 1: all the fun they get to like have in their
Speaker 1: life that you have already said goodbye to.
Speaker 5: I get jealous of you and your high school girlfriends
Speaker 5: and your high school experience because it sounds.
Speaker 1: I think that's maybe why I struggle with it is
Speaker 1: because I had so much fun in my childhood. I
Speaker 1: had a really and I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: don't have great childhoods.
Speaker 4: The most fun in my early thirties, So I get
Speaker 4: jealous of like early thirty year olds.
Speaker 5: Interesting, okay, that track.
Speaker 1: I get jealous of Poppy. I thought I was gonna
Speaker 1: get jealous of when she entered into our lives. When
Speaker 1: my sister had a little girl, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: this is gonna test me, am I gonna be jealous,
Speaker 1: and I'm I never get jealous of Poppy until I
Speaker 1: remember that she doesn't have to like figure out a
Speaker 1: talent yet, Like she doesn't even have to. She could
Speaker 1: still be the best at something, like she could be
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift and she doesn't have to pick up a
Speaker 1: guitar for another like seven years.
Speaker 3: She's like four, Okay, so she has.
Speaker 2: She has figured it out.
Speaker 3: Well, we're trying to get her to pick some off
Speaker 3: her yeah.
Speaker 2: And then force once they pick it, You're like, that's it.
Speaker 2: You're never switching. I don't care how sad you get. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's what I would do.
Speaker 5: Like when you send me that meme of the little
Speaker 5: Korean child of playing a perfect guitar, I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm jealous. I want that.
Speaker 2: I'm most parents just want their kids to be happy,
Speaker 2: Like my parents would always say, I just want you
Speaker 2: to be happy. I don't care what you do or
Speaker 2: what you like. Couldn't you just want me to be
Speaker 2: sad and rich? Like why didn't you force me to
Speaker 2: become the best whatever that? Instead? You just let me
Speaker 2: quit piano, you let me go to school free for me.
Speaker 1: It doesn't work, Brian, No, this is what I would
Speaker 1: tell my kids, and I think this is actually good
Speaker 1: parenting advice from someone who's never gonna have kids and
Speaker 1: really hasn't even considered what I would do if I did.
Speaker 1: So take it with a grain of sand. You tell
Speaker 1: your kids, I want you to be happy. But here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Talent is not something that is going to
Speaker 1: come out of nowhere. If you want to be good
Speaker 1: at something, you have to work hard. And I think
Speaker 1: that obviously parents go, yeah, I mean me telling my
Speaker 1: kid to go to piano lessons, that's me telling them
Speaker 1: to work hard.
Speaker 3: We don't. Kids don't understand that from piano lessons. They're
Speaker 3: in lies.
Speaker 1: You're going to be great at this time and you'll be,
Speaker 1: it seems, and then you'll be happy. Yes, it just
Speaker 1: seems like a chore of doing a thing I'm bad
Speaker 1: at still and just I'm not gonna get good and
Speaker 1: you just have to you know, practice makes perfect. We
Speaker 1: I used to sing songs about practice makes perfect.
Speaker 3: You'll see, like there.
Speaker 1: Were all these songs, but it didn't get in my head.
Speaker 1: I wish someone would have said, Nikki, you can be
Speaker 1: that on TV. You could be Kelly Kapowski.
Speaker 3: Whatever. I was like, you know, looking at at the time.
Speaker 3: But she is only that because she's hotter than you. No,
Speaker 3: she's only.
Speaker 1: That she worked hard, and that's the only thing you
Speaker 1: have to do. I didn't compute the two, and I
Speaker 1: don't know how to get kids to understand what hard
Speaker 1: work is and what it can mean because they don't
Speaker 1: have they don't understand time.
Speaker 2: No, well, that's exactly right. The time thing is important too,
Speaker 2: because you know how, like when you wake up in
Speaker 2: the morning, like your first like thirty minutes of just
Speaker 2: getting out of bed, time goes by like much faster
Speaker 2: like that first thirty Like if if in that first
Speaker 2: thirty minutes you decide to like work out immediately, that
Speaker 2: workout will go by so fast it will not be challenging.
Speaker 2: That's my experience. I guess I'm just saying everyone experiences this.
Speaker 2: You're like kind of half awake. So if you just
Speaker 2: do the thing that like you would be dreading if
Speaker 2: it was three pm, it'll just be done instantaneously. You
Speaker 2: won't even realize. And that's like being a kid, it's
Speaker 2: like you have nothing going on. Time is different for you.
Speaker 2: If you are just put in a room and forced
Speaker 2: to practice for ten years, that time will not matter
Speaker 2: to you at all. It'll just fly by and all
Speaker 2: of a sudden you'll be the world's greatest whatever.
Speaker 3: It's so true. That's a good point.
Speaker 1: Sometimes when I'm on a treadmill and I'm like dying
Speaker 1: and I have five minutes left, I.
Speaker 3: Always go, you dumb fuck, why didn't.
Speaker 1: You start five minutes earlier because you'd be dumb done
Speaker 1: right now? And then I go, wait a second, in
Speaker 1: a different realm, I am done right now, like I am,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this, So just know you're.
Speaker 3: Done somewhere like that.
Speaker 1: If you do you struggle to get through workouts, just
Speaker 1: tell yourself you're done five o'clock. It's just not there yet.
Speaker 1: But like, and also another thing, and I've talked about
Speaker 1: this before. If you're trying to start working out and
Speaker 1: you're like you're in the first two minutes and you've like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I have another twenty eight minutes of
Speaker 1: this workout, just keep just keep thinking you're on the
Speaker 1: last minute, or like, just and just keep saying fifteen
Speaker 1: I'll quit in fifteen seconds, keep adding another fifteen seconds.
Speaker 1: And then also if you're someone like me who's like,
Speaker 1: if you're not doing it, at the ultimate level. If
Speaker 1: you're not running the whole time, then fuck it. Then
Speaker 1: give up. Just take it down one mile per hour, like,
Speaker 1: don't give up, just go slower and stay with it,
Speaker 1: because I used to give up. I've given up on
Speaker 1: so many workouts because I couldn't do them the best.
Speaker 1: But just take it down one notch and then you
Speaker 1: can get back up to that. I mean, this obviously goes.
Speaker 1: I'm not like David Gogging is in here. This is
Speaker 1: like not that interesting of information to give. But like
Speaker 1: I wish I could. I wish I could have told
Speaker 1: myself these things earlier, because I it took me until
Speaker 1: this year to start just going a little less hard
Speaker 1: on my workouts to get through them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and these are things that you could tell a
Speaker 2: child and they would have to they don't shape like this.
Speaker 2: You're still learning this stuff now like as an adult, Like, oh,
Speaker 2: if I just try it a little less hard, I
Speaker 2: could get through my whole workout. Yes, like that, you're
Speaker 2: you're always learning stuff, and like you, this is all
Speaker 2: stuff that I would want to like brain dump onto
Speaker 2: my child when they're five years old, so they have
Speaker 2: to I kind of.
Speaker 1: Want to have a kid just so I can relay
Speaker 1: some of this shit, you know, like and see if
Speaker 1: I could test without how to make a tailor. I
Speaker 1: want to make a Taylor Swift. I want to like
Speaker 1: leave us with this before we go to break because
Speaker 1: I've been reading that Four Agreements book. You know, Oh
Speaker 1: god about like B B whatever with your words.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm disagreeing.
Speaker 3: No, they're they're legit. I mean, they are the way
Speaker 3: of life.
Speaker 1: If you were able to agree to the four agreements
Speaker 1: and keep that agreement, your life will be perfect.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, you sent us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the thing. Whatever people do feel, think,
Speaker 1: or say. Now, this is don't take anything personally. That's
Speaker 1: a third agreement. I think, don't take anything personal whatever.
Speaker 1: This is the paragraph. Whatever people do feel, think, or say,
Speaker 1: don't take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful
Speaker 1: you are, they are not saying that because of you.
Speaker 1: You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to
Speaker 1: believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful.
Speaker 1: Don't take anything personally. Even if someone gets a gun
Speaker 1: and shoots you in the head, it was nothing personal,
Speaker 1: even at that extreme. I want us to ruminate on
Speaker 1: that and talk about it when we get back right
Speaker 1: after this.
Speaker 3: All right, we're back. Okay.
Speaker 1: A book can tell you not to take anything personal
Speaker 1: or personally, how the fuck do you put that into practice?
Speaker 2: You don't. That's why this book sucks.
Speaker 3: It tells all these things to do.
Speaker 1: Don't ever lie, don't don't be impeccable with your word.
Speaker 1: The other ones, never forget.
Speaker 5: The other ones are assumptions that don't make a sum.
Speaker 2: Sh It's like, yeah, if you if you could monitor
Speaker 2: your own life like you know, one hundred percent of
Speaker 2: the time and make and calculate every single thought and
Speaker 2: action that you have, then sure maybe your life will
Speaker 2: improve incrementally. But you just can't live your life like that.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend who who's boyfriend. Her and her
Speaker 1: boyfriend were, you know, getting into little TIFFs here and there,
Speaker 1: and she goes, hey, let's just do this experiment for
Speaker 1: the next day where we don't take anything we say personally. Sure,
Speaker 1: and I and I remember, and she said it worked,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, but how how do you not take
Speaker 1: things personally?
Speaker 3: And what what the book.
Speaker 1: Goes on to say is that when someone is saying
Speaker 1: something bad about you, and if someone says, hey, Nikki's
Speaker 1: not funny, that's their own opinion, has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with me.
Speaker 3: It's built upon what they think.
Speaker 2: But sure, but I don't.
Speaker 1: Understand why it won't affect me because I need public
Speaker 1: support to make money, and I need a roof over
Speaker 1: my head, and I need money to have.
Speaker 2: That you are successful is because you've been taking things
Speaker 2: personally your entire life exactly.
Speaker 1: But if I were to be an artist who just
Speaker 1: does every like someone like Natasha Leone, who everyone just
Speaker 1: who admires because she's just her son. Yeah, if I
Speaker 1: just was someone like that, who just never takes anything like,
Speaker 1: who seems to just be their own unique person, what
Speaker 1: would I be? Because you know, there are times where
Speaker 1: people don't like the things I do, But as long
Speaker 1: as I'm confident about that thing, I don't really care
Speaker 1: what their opinion is. So I guess what the point
Speaker 1: is is that I have a spin.
Speaker 4: On that for agreement. It's like a mantra that I
Speaker 4: live by, which is, or try to live by. Okay,
Speaker 4: don't let people. Don't give people the power to influence
Speaker 4: how you feel. Sure, so I think that.
Speaker 3: Kind of goes. How do you do that?
Speaker 1: You? Noah, can you give an example, like when you've
Speaker 1: used that when maybe you would have been completely hijacked
Speaker 1: by opinion someone out of you, or like what you
Speaker 1: could do with that.
Speaker 4: I think it maybe for me, it's more like matching
Speaker 4: someone's energy, and that's kind of like a codependent thing
Speaker 4: where if someone else doesn't feel good about something, then
Speaker 4: I feel like I have to fix it or I
Speaker 4: have to feel bad about it. So I think I
Speaker 4: struggle with that. Maybe that mantra is something that I
Speaker 4: try to repeat in my head if I talk to
Speaker 4: my mom or something where it's like, well, I don't
Speaker 4: have to just because she's not feeling good. I don't
Speaker 4: have to change anything about my lifestyle to make her
Speaker 4: feel better, right, I play it.
Speaker 5: For me, it's like if I'm around someone in a
Speaker 5: bad mood, it can radically affect me. And I don't
Speaker 5: think most people have that, but that's where I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 5: this person's in a shit mood. I do not have
Speaker 5: to be in a ship mood, like let them be
Speaker 5: in it.
Speaker 2: I forgot the term, but there is a term for that.
Speaker 2: It's it's like some kind of mirroring. I forgot what
Speaker 2: it was called.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, I feel the same way.
Speaker 1: No, it's interesting because Chris, if he's in a bad
Speaker 1: mood about something, I can't really handle it and I
Speaker 1: need to I take it personally, like talk about and
Speaker 1: it will have nothing to do with me. But because
Speaker 1: he's in a bad mood, like you know, people in
Speaker 1: a bad mood about something, they're not going to be
Speaker 1: cheery to everyone they're around, and it has.
Speaker 3: Nothing to do with me.
Speaker 1: But like he might be just not smiling as much
Speaker 1: or whatever, or not laughing at my jokes because he's
Speaker 1: just not in the mood for my you'rer And I'm
Speaker 1: thinking he's never going to come back to me. You know,
Speaker 1: he's never gonna this is gonna be forever mantra. Yeah, assumptions,
Speaker 1: that's that's so. Yes, I'm I'm making assumptions that he's
Speaker 1: never gonna get better, which you know is probably something
Speaker 1: from my childhood.
Speaker 3: Who the fuck knows.
Speaker 1: But then I notice when I get into bad moods,
Speaker 1: I he is able to he doesn't do that, and
Speaker 1: I will sometimes when I get into bad mood, think
Speaker 1: that he's gonna have the same response I do, and
Speaker 1: I go, hey, this has nothing to do with you.
Speaker 1: I say all of these things to make him feel safe.
Speaker 1: And almost giving him the things that I would want
Speaker 1: him to say to me if that were the case,
Speaker 1: that I need to hear kind of when he's in
Speaker 1: those moods. But he doesn't need to hear from me.
Speaker 1: He doesn't need to hear like this has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with you. He's like, I know, I know.
Speaker 5: He's like, obviously, I think it's a guy girl thing
Speaker 5: sometimes because I have the same thing. When Matt's in
Speaker 5: a bad mood. Sometimes I'll ask him a question. Let's
Speaker 5: say he's in physical pain and I'm like, hey, when
Speaker 5: are we going to this? And I'll be like I
Speaker 5: don't know, and I'm like, easy, Jesus, you know, like
Speaker 5: what is this tone? And he's like, babe, I'm stressed.
Speaker 5: It hasn't And I'm like, but you're talking to me
Speaker 5: like you're pissed. He's like, I'm I'm pain. I'm like, well,
Speaker 5: you need to fix this because this tone is not cool.
Speaker 5: But I just have to like let him be short
Speaker 5: with me and go away. And if I'm a.
Speaker 3: Dad with him.
Speaker 5: Found out, But nine times out of ten he'll be like, Babe,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry I was short with you earlier. And a
Speaker 5: lot of pain, you know.
Speaker 1: That really helps Chris the other day, not the other day,
Speaker 1: but weeks and weeks ago, was got Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: it was something personal. It was like something I said
Speaker 1: that upset him, and he he made it clear very
Speaker 1: quickly like what it was about, which is a growth
Speaker 1: because I think usually in the past, like like many
Speaker 1: people in my life or men in my life as well,
Speaker 1: will like just kind of like just get a little
Speaker 1: quiet because they're still processing it. They don't want to
Speaker 1: tell you they're mad at you yet. But he was
Speaker 1: like open to me about like this thing you said
Speaker 1: kind of upset me, and I I think in the
Speaker 1: past I used to go like I'm so sorry, like
Speaker 1: how can I fix it? Like like damage, like oh,
Speaker 1: just taking on all the blame, like just let me
Speaker 1: make it right. So we were like in a good
Speaker 1: mood again, like I'm sorry, I'm stor I'm sorry, and
Speaker 1: I just I did that a little bit. I like
Speaker 1: accounted for what I did do wrong. But I also
Speaker 1: was like I'm annoyed that you're anno. Actually I'm kind
Speaker 1: of pissed off. Like I got. I was able to
Speaker 1: access the anger that I felt in that moment, which
Speaker 1: I couldn't help I did whether it was it was
Speaker 1: right to feel angry about I'm getting upset with me,
Speaker 1: I felt it, and I gave it back to him,
Speaker 1: and I felt really good about it because I expected
Speaker 1: I think I've always been scared to do that in
Speaker 1: circumstances with men, because I feel like they'll go like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck, You're not allowed to get mad at me,
Speaker 1: I'm at like and then and then break up with me.
Speaker 1: But instead he said, you know, I'm just like really
Speaker 1: tired and I don't feel good. And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like all of a sudden, I didn't give a fuck
Speaker 1: about the thing he was upset at me about.
Speaker 3: I like, apologize already.
Speaker 1: I let myself off the hook for it, even though
Speaker 1: I had previously felt so guilty. I also was like
Speaker 1: let him off the hook for being what I thought
Speaker 1: was maybe overreacting to this thing that I didn't think
Speaker 1: deserve that, And I was like, of course, all then
Speaker 1: we got snickers and.
Speaker 3: He was fine like snickers or.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but not taking things personally is a really interesting.
Speaker 2: But can we look at that that little thing you
Speaker 2: read like closer, like, imagine if there was an actual
Speaker 2: person trying to give you advice and they're like, don't
Speaker 2: take anything personally. If someone shoots you, just let it.
Speaker 2: If someone shoots you in.
Speaker 1: The head doesn't mean let it go. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: they shouldn't be punished for it. But you don't need
Speaker 1: to be like, I'm a bad person because I got shot.
Speaker 1: I'm not a bad person because I got molested. I'm
Speaker 1: a bad person because I got into this traffic collision. Like,
Speaker 1: it doesn't it's not about you. That person ran the stop,
Speaker 1: Like that person had road rage against you and shot
Speaker 1: you because they have issues.
Speaker 3: It's not you.
Speaker 2: What am I supposed to do with that? Though? Like
Speaker 2: I get so if what if I'm not a person
Speaker 2: that would say, oh, it was my fault that that person.
Speaker 1: You don't need that advice, then you don't need that advice.
Speaker 1: This is for people who take things personally and who
Speaker 1: think everything is their fault and think they can control
Speaker 1: things and other people.
Speaker 5: Here's an example to close or go back to the
Speaker 5: infidelity cheating thing. I wanted to say this earlier. I
Speaker 5: remember learning that Tommy Lee cheated on Pamela Anderson and
Speaker 5: I was in my very first relationship ever, and I
Speaker 5: was this is what she used to make up yes,
Speaker 5: I was like, you can cheat, Like the hottest woman
Speaker 5: in the world at this time can get cheated on. Okay,
Speaker 5: it has nothing to do with her. This guy is
Speaker 5: just a cheater. He's a bad guy. Like, she didn't do.
Speaker 3: Anything, he's not a bad guy, but that's lied and.
Speaker 5: He lied to her and broke their marriage. Vow. Let's
Speaker 5: just say, you can't argue that they did not have
Speaker 5: an open thing. Yes, so yes, so it had nothing
Speaker 5: to do with her. She can't take it personally like,
Speaker 5: all right, Tommy has this addiction or whatever the fuck
Speaker 5: or needed this thing. That's not that's not my fault
Speaker 5: that he cheated, right, uh huh.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I can see that a lot of people might
Speaker 2: might make it their fault, and it's important to not
Speaker 2: take it personally in that way. But I still don't
Speaker 2: find any example of getting shot in the head and
Speaker 2: then whatever the fuck forgiving the guy for shooting you.
Speaker 3: You'll forgive. It doesn't mean about forgiveness.
Speaker 1: It just means like, don't think, like why was I
Speaker 1: in the wrong place at the wrong time? What did
Speaker 1: I do to that guy that made him want to
Speaker 1: shoot me?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: How could I have done things differently? Like don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't punish yourself on top of are already what.
Speaker 2: Isn't it like what that person did had nothing to
Speaker 2: do with you. You were just shot random.
Speaker 3: It's totally random.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So the knowing that doesn't help me at all. Oh, so,
Speaker 2: like it doesn't matter what you do, someone's still gonna
Speaker 2: shoot you.
Speaker 3: You're Selena.
Speaker 1: She's like, well, I think I got shot because I'm amazing,
Speaker 1: and my fan club president like thought I was so
Speaker 1: amazing that she had to like take my soul. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they're like, no, you can't have that. You're just random.
Speaker 1: You're not that great.
Speaker 3: You just got shot. Yeah, let Selena have it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy, I don't like this guy. I'm taking
Speaker 2: it personally that he'sistic.
Speaker 5: I could see why you don't.
Speaker 2: Like and impractical.
Speaker 1: I like it because it is so simplistic and it
Speaker 1: I think you need to read the book.
Speaker 3: It's very easy.
Speaker 2: I've read it. You have I own it.
Speaker 5: Oh, owned it to you. There should be like a
Speaker 5: subheading that's like, obviously, take all of this ship with
Speaker 5: a grain of salt. No one can do this perfectly.
Speaker 3: No one can do it perfectly. Final thought.
Speaker 1: Let's do top one bottom one because I had an
Speaker 1: idea for a segment today because I was doing I
Speaker 1: was traveling all day and I was at a gate
Speaker 1: for so long. I wanted to figure out top one
Speaker 1: bottom one type of person who you're sitting at a
Speaker 1: gate with for a long time, Like you have to
Speaker 1: sit next to this person for a couple Okay, please
Speaker 1: start with bottom.
Speaker 2: Bottom one is somebody who is coughing and just can't
Speaker 2: stop coughing.
Speaker 3: I was at the gatege that you're coughing.
Speaker 2: A lot, right, No, this person was with someone else,
Speaker 2: and and the person that they were with was even like,
Speaker 2: can you please just take it down a notch? Like no,
Speaker 2: I can tell if they were thinking that. Yeah, this
Speaker 2: person was like performatively coughing, like she was like I
Speaker 2: need to get it out, and it was everyone in
Speaker 2: the whole terminal was like, are you gonna go on
Speaker 2: the plane with us now?
Speaker 3: With that and not wearing a mask.
Speaker 2: I I didn't even look at her. I couldn't. I
Speaker 2: couldn't even go look at her, but I assume she
Speaker 2: wasn't wearing a mask. But it didn't feel like COVID coughing.
Speaker 2: It was either like long COVID like I've had COVID,
Speaker 2: but it kind of felt like I am of sickly
Speaker 2: older person cough, even though she wasn't that old, So
Speaker 2: I wasn't really worried, like from a COVID standpoint or whatever,
Speaker 2: but I was just like, how, like, where's the shame?
Speaker 2: Like when I sneeze, when I sneeze in public, I
Speaker 2: cover my mouth. I try to make it not very loud.
Speaker 2: This person is like, I am going to let everybody
Speaker 2: in this entire vicinity understand that I am going through
Speaker 2: a cough.
Speaker 3: It's almost to like perform it.
Speaker 1: This is this is, this is what we're getting at
Speaker 1: My bottom one is also performative, and this has not
Speaker 1: made me my bottom bottom.
Speaker 3: But this is an annoying thing.
Speaker 1: A mother or a father showing their young baby through
Speaker 1: the window the planes and look at that plane, and
Speaker 1: look at that man with the orange stopping so loud.
Speaker 1: Your baby can hear you, babies have great hearing. You're
Speaker 1: performing as a great parent for everyone around us.
Speaker 3: We get it.
Speaker 1: You're a very involved parent. You're really good at being
Speaker 1: a parent. Your kids are gonna be grow up to
Speaker 1: be better than other kids.
Speaker 5: You definitely don't regret this choice exactly.
Speaker 1: Yes, anya, thank you. It's just like listen. I definitely
Speaker 1: think that is important. I actually really admire when I
Speaker 1: see a parent do it. Today I saw a parent
Speaker 1: doing it, and she was doing it at a volume
Speaker 1: that I respected, and I thought it was such a
Speaker 1: beautiful thing that man, this woman has been traveling with
Speaker 1: this kid all day long and she still has the
Speaker 1: energy to be so enthusiastic and so would a horrible
Speaker 1: with her kid at this time of day.
Speaker 3: And like I knew this.
Speaker 1: Woman had been through it, so I thought it was
Speaker 1: like lovely that she was still like, no, how many
Speaker 1: plans are out there and like doing all that, but
Speaker 1: when it's loud and you're trying to let us all
Speaker 1: know what a great mom you are. Here's my new
Speaker 1: theory and a little thing that people aren't gonna like
Speaker 1: to hear. If you're a mom or a dad and
Speaker 1: you play this I'm not selfish card, and that's why
Speaker 1: your parent is like, I'm just like I was tired
Speaker 1: of being selfish.
Speaker 3: Have I said this already? You're still selfish? You're not.
Speaker 1: No one has a baby. And then suddenly it's like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start volunteering for Greenpeace. They don't start being
Speaker 1: more selfless citizens. They're just less selfless about themselves and
Speaker 1: now they are putting everything on a kid that.
Speaker 2: Looks like that them selfish.
Speaker 5: You're not.
Speaker 3: You're not selfless.
Speaker 2: Even people with narcissistic personality disorder can do that with
Speaker 2: their children and having kids.
Speaker 3: Because it's themselves.
Speaker 1: So like, I'm not giving an award to you for
Speaker 1: being like I'm yes, I know you're not bathing much anymore,
Speaker 1: and you don't dress well anymore and you look but
Speaker 1: draggled all the time. I'm not giving you an award
Speaker 1: for like, I don't care about the way I look
Speaker 1: anymore because I'm focused on this thing. It's like the
Speaker 1: thing is you, and the thing didn't exist till you
Speaker 1: made it. So if you were, if you, there are
Speaker 1: some parents that have kids and go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: the world's fucked. I'm gonna start like volunteering for climate
Speaker 1: change activism and like I'm trying to say the world
Speaker 1: that I can get behind. It snapped you into being
Speaker 1: like I need to save this planet again. It's selfish
Speaker 1: because it's for your kid that looks like you, and
Speaker 1: that's why you want to save the planet. And you
Speaker 1: didn't give a fuck about the planet before there was
Speaker 1: a kid on the planet that looked like you and
Speaker 1: that you made.
Speaker 3: So it's still selfish. But this is what bothers me.
Speaker 2: Walking around with a kid and showing them off or
Speaker 2: whatever is no different than walking around with like a
Speaker 2: painting that you painted. I mean, like, look at my painting.
Speaker 2: Don't you love my painting? Isn't it so beautiful?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Oh? I also hate with kids when when parents force
Speaker 2: you to become a part of the little game they're playing.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: Really, like when when parents are like, look at the plane,
Speaker 2: look at the plane, and then they go like, isn't
Speaker 2: the plane nice? Like something like that.
Speaker 1: They never involved me. I would like to be involved actually.
Speaker 5: Or when you're at a friend's house and their kids
Speaker 5: are running around and they're like, do you think you
Speaker 5: want to tell Anya what they keep?
Speaker 2: We keep?
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, do I have to do this now?
Speaker 1: Blanket statement. Your kid doesn't have to say thank you
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 3: I don't need it.
Speaker 1: I don't have to say goodbye to me. They don't
Speaker 1: need to hug me, they don't need to kiss me.
Speaker 1: Your kid needs to have boundaries. Your kid can be
Speaker 1: rude if it wants. I don't need to give a
Speaker 1: present to a kid and get a thank you back.
Speaker 1: And if you do need to get your kid to
Speaker 1: give the thank you to me, don't make them like
Speaker 1: stand in front of me and say it. Just like
Speaker 1: later on tell them, hey, you should have thanked her, Like,
Speaker 1: don't bring me into it. I want to see I
Speaker 1: feel like stand there waiting for your kid to be like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say it, and then it gets
Speaker 1: awkward because the kid.
Speaker 3: Now I hate your kid because he's refusing to say
Speaker 3: thank you to me. GIF okay the top.
Speaker 1: One, bottom one, okay, my bottom one okay, gate okay,
Speaker 1: person at the gate on you, let's the least favorite person?
Speaker 5: Ye have speakerphone FaceTime? Please, Well, you're not that dumb.
Speaker 5: You also aren't that poor. We can all afford twenty
Speaker 5: dollars headphones. Just pack them with you and if you're
Speaker 5: not going to pack them, don't do the thing you
Speaker 5: don't get to do it walk away from the gate.
Speaker 5: Do not my girls involved that you think just.
Speaker 3: Broke up with the guy.
Speaker 1: And I was like, so on on board for this guy.
Speaker 1: And then she told me that he takes zoom calls
Speaker 1: in public.
Speaker 3: Oh, and I said it was as if she told
Speaker 3: me that he hits her.
Speaker 1: I go, you cannot be with this person, he says,
Speaker 1: and she goes, he just did it once, and I go, once,
Speaker 1: is he's gonna do it again?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You need to leave him right now.
Speaker 1: You cannot be with someone who takes FaceTime calls in public.
Speaker 1: Anyone this is and what is the protocol to stop this?
Speaker 1: Because we need I think in an airport, I feel
Speaker 1: safe that no one's going to pull a gun on
Speaker 1: me because they've gone through screening. So I do feel
Speaker 1: safe in an airport. I would love for someone to
Speaker 1: be talking on the speakerphone at an airport within vicinity
Speaker 1: of me, as long as they're a white person, because
Speaker 1: because I would slam them if they're if they are
Speaker 1: a person of a different race, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say anything because I'm.
Speaker 5: I always think about you.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do it.
Speaker 5: How can I be Nikki? What would Nikky do? I
Speaker 5: know exactly what you do.
Speaker 1: I would like to do it to someone of a
Speaker 1: different race, but I feel like they would say, I'm
Speaker 1: You're just doing this because I'm black, And then no,
Speaker 1: I'm doing this because I'm the reason I wouldn't do
Speaker 1: it is because you're black. That would be racist. But
Speaker 1: but I do. But I definitely wouldn't do it to
Speaker 1: a black person, But I like a white person. I'm
Speaker 1: dying for you to be on your speakerphone in front
Speaker 1: of me.
Speaker 5: I'm dying for it about a child or someone like
Speaker 5: this just happened flight just the other day, a guy
Speaker 5: listening to the football game loudly as we're deeplanning. So
Speaker 5: we are deplanning, so we're all going to say goodbye
Speaker 5: to each other soon.
Speaker 1: But we're perfect time because you're on your way out,
Speaker 1: you don't have to be around.
Speaker 5: What would you do if it's you're trapped in there,
Speaker 5: you're still on the tarmac, you're still taxing.
Speaker 3: Is that necessary? I mean that's what I'd say. I go,
Speaker 3: is that necessary? And then I just look at them
Speaker 3: and then wait and then he goes a big game.
Speaker 2: It's a big game. I mean for me, that would
Speaker 2: be a moment of bonding for me, I think I'd
Speaker 2: be like, what's the score with that? But if it
Speaker 2: was something else, like if this.
Speaker 1: Guy thought he was doing and someone's gonna say, Nikki,
Speaker 1: didn't you sing Taylor? So songs on a plane with
Speaker 1: a bunch of people. Yes, I did, because the flight
Speaker 1: attendant started it.
Speaker 3: Oh it was patient, and.
Speaker 1: It was it was a group of us, and it
Speaker 1: was obnoxious, and I'll own up to that. But I
Speaker 1: would never do something as a single person to be like,
Speaker 1: everyone has to listen to this. That is a personality
Speaker 1: disorder and there needs to be a protocol for it.
Speaker 1: I think maybe the thing to do is to turn
Speaker 1: up your phone all the way and listen to something.
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing to do.
Speaker 5: It was too passive.
Speaker 3: I almost did it to their level.
Speaker 1: Yeah I would, because it's obviously calling it out and
Speaker 1: everyone around would know the joke, what you're doing.
Speaker 2: I would love to see that in practice.
Speaker 1: That would be the hamster dance song. Do you remember
Speaker 1: the Hamster dance song?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, So if someone you lived in New York for
Speaker 2: a long time and when when someone's on the subway
Speaker 2: and they were just listening to music, like, you can't
Speaker 2: do it on the subway. You're gonna get shanked. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you'll get shanked. So like, uh, doing the same. So
Speaker 2: you're you're saying you'd engage in a bat.
Speaker 3: What did I say? You can't figure it out. I'm
Speaker 3: just saying it isn't.
Speaker 5: Trapped for a while.
Speaker 2: So let's say you're in the subway, pops. Let's say
Speaker 2: you're in the subway in Ireland, okay, and someone's playing
Speaker 2: music on their cell phone.
Speaker 1: No, I wouldn't do it in another country because I
Speaker 1: don't want to be an American.
Speaker 3: That's like I would.
Speaker 1: Say, I have something to yell at you a boot okay, Canadian?
Speaker 3: Okay? Top top traveling.
Speaker 5: Just happened yesterday, Okay. We were merging to the boardy
Speaker 5: line and a gentleman I've felt this guy trying to
Speaker 5: edge in front of me. I'm like, god, damn it.
Speaker 5: I was definitely here first. And then I just go,
Speaker 5: who gives a shit on you? Doesn't matter? And I
Speaker 5: looked at him and he goes after you. I like
Speaker 5: that guy. I like a guy that's going to say
Speaker 5: after you.
Speaker 3: I like that too.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Ironically, I did get stopped, and the weirdest thing happened.
Speaker 5: They were like, your seat is broken, ma'am, you can't.
Speaker 5: I'm like, my seat is broken, and they go, yeah,
Speaker 5: it was on the way to Vegas, Nikki to see you,
Speaker 5: and I guess I go Vegas. Yeah, and the guy
Speaker 5: also the ticket agent goes, you're not checked in. I go,
Speaker 5: I am checked in. This is my boarding pass on
Speaker 5: my phone. You can't get this unless you check in.
Speaker 5: I'm checked it. It was the second leg of a
Speaker 5: journey too. He goes, you're not checked in. You didn't
Speaker 5: check in. You need to check it. I go, okay,
Speaker 5: I don't know what to tell you. This is my
Speaker 5: boarding past. I did check in twenty four hours ago.
Speaker 5: And he goes, well, your seat's broken. I have to
Speaker 5: give you a no boarding pass. It took forever, and
Speaker 5: the guy behind me. I looked at him, I go,
Speaker 5: are you regretting your decision? Because he left me he
Speaker 5: let me go first, And he's like, oh right, I worry.
Speaker 5: He goes, take your time. He was so nice.
Speaker 1: My favorite one, very quickly is someone when you are
Speaker 1: looking for to charge your phone at the gate and
Speaker 1: someone goes that one's not working.
Speaker 2: This one over here, helpful.
Speaker 1: Just a helpful tell me where the charger is, don't
Speaker 1: watch me struggle, offer up yours and like an area
Speaker 1: fears and and someone that doesn't like scoff at me
Speaker 1: when I leave all my bags by myself and they
Speaker 1: don't go like, what is she gonna do? What's going on? Like,
Speaker 1: just calm down. I do this all the time.
Speaker 3: We're gonna be fine.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. My top one is I think you're gonna really
Speaker 2: like this one. I think you're gonna change yours when
Speaker 2: you hear really okayah. My top one is when I'm
Speaker 2: with somebody and I'm talking to them and I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm being particularly entertaining, and then there's someone else
Speaker 2: who is hearing what I'm saying and enjoying and laughing
Speaker 2: a little bit at me being funny with like Alley
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's really nice.
Speaker 1: I get that with drivers sometimes when I get the
Speaker 1: driver to oh yeah, really good because he's not supposed
Speaker 1: to be listening, but he gets eating us.
Speaker 2: And then sometimes they can't help themselves and they laugh
Speaker 2: out loud. They're like, oh no, now they know that
Speaker 2: I was listening this whole time and enjoying that.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh I like that.
Speaker 1: I do like a making strangers laugh sometimes, like and
Speaker 1: that goes into kind of almost like putting yourself on speakerphone,
Speaker 1: like you're kind of performing in a way like oh shit,
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: But I'm talking to my wife, but.
Speaker 3: You're talking loud enough that someone could help.
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just telling my wife, look at the plane,
Speaker 2: you know, look at the outside.
Speaker 3: Any planes are there? All right?
Speaker 4: Noah, what's your what's your top one? Okay, well I
Speaker 4: don't think I said my bottom. My bottom one is
Speaker 4: anyone who's grooming themselves, like clipping their nails.
Speaker 1: Or they're eating their hang now, which is what I
Speaker 1: did today.
Speaker 4: That's that's different. Like once I started hearing the click
Speaker 4: of the nail cutter.
Speaker 1: I I have done it before, but I put a
Speaker 1: sweatshirt over my hand to do it, and you can't
Speaker 1: muffle it and so it can't spring anywhere.
Speaker 2: I'd rather do that than on the plane.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm oh, I'm deeply ashamed. Okay.
Speaker 4: And then my top is anyone with an animal. Please
Speaker 4: come stay next to me so I can look at
Speaker 4: what's inside your animal.
Speaker 2: Pressure.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's a really good one. All right. Well that
Speaker 3: was fun.
Speaker 5: Great to see our top ones.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was sweet.
Speaker 5: That was the togetherness and connection and and like humanness.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we just want people to be nice and kind
Speaker 1: and gentle.
Speaker 5: But let's look out for each other more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do that, all right. And and if you
Speaker 1: get shot in the head, don't take it personally.
Speaker 3: Recover first. Why are you knocking on what superstition? I
Speaker 3: don't know anything. Okay, all right, well, thank you so
Speaker 3: much for being here.
Speaker 1: Brian. Uh come see us on tour. Don't be kissed,
Speaker 1: and just don't take personally