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Speaker 1: Hi, good afternoon, good morning, and good even tide. What

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Speaker 1: does even tide mean? Catherine? Do we know? You know what?

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Speaker 1: I don't know? I could tell you what a fortnight

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Speaker 1: is two weeks. Fortnight is two weeks, right, Yes, Well

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Speaker 1: that's a pretty slow response for somebody who's bragging about

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Speaker 1: knowing what it is. Now I'm second guessing myself. I

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Speaker 1: think even tide just means evening. Weirdly, my phone is

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Speaker 1: no longer working. Lots of things are not working. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not even mercury retrograde right now? When isn't mercury

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Speaker 1: retrograde all the time? I thought it was like once

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Speaker 1: a year. It turns out it's like five times a year. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Do you believe in that stuff, Chelsea?

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Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I don't spend Yeah, the time of evening,

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Speaker 1: So even eventide means the time of evening, just evening,

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Speaker 1: So you can just use that whenever you want. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we should go over some other words. Pull Gratudinous means

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Speaker 1: beauty and grace. Oh that's a good word. What else

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Speaker 1: I mean if we're talking about time of day? I

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Speaker 1: love the word madrugada, which is like it's a Spanish word,

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Speaker 1: and it means like the dawn of the day or

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Speaker 1: median that, which is snack time. Well that's nice. Is

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Speaker 1: that happy hour? Good pronunciation by the way, Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's happy hour and that's why I know that word. Excellent. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm actually a secret Spanish speaker. Oh you are, I am. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I lived in Uruguay for several months in high school

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Speaker 1: and then went back and visit, so I've spent about

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Speaker 1: a year there. Lived in Mexico for a little while

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Speaker 1: as well, and studied Spanish. And yeah, so I have

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Speaker 1: a a very shushy accent in Spanish. Oh that's good

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Speaker 1: to know. Well, if you ever want to get to

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Speaker 1: my Orca, you know I have a place there, Well, excellent,

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Speaker 1: that's great, and you could practice your Espanol. It's a beautiful,

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Speaker 1: beautiful place. I was thinking about selling it, and because

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Speaker 1: I hadn't been in two years, I was like, what's

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Speaker 1: the point of this? After COVID and then we went

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Speaker 1: back and I was like, oh no, no, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: never sell like I will sell everything I owned before

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Speaker 1: I felled us. Yeah, it's it's so beautiful and i'd

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Speaker 1: Spanish people. It's so funny I was saying to my girlfriends.

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Speaker 1: This year, I took all of my girlfriends from my

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Speaker 1: ski girlfriends met me in my workout, so they were

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Speaker 1: like eight of us or seven of us. I was

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Speaker 1: like calling on and on about how Spanish are so

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Speaker 1: relaxed and just laid back, you know, even there like

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Speaker 1: three star Michelin restaurants, Like it's not a big deal

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Speaker 1: when you go to Spain and you go to a

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Speaker 1: Michelin restaurant. It's not like the rest of the world

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Speaker 1: where everybody has like an attitude or you know, they're

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Speaker 1: even cassual about that. Yeah, and they're super casual. But

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Speaker 1: when I got my girlfriends came from my worka this year,

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Speaker 1: my friend like we were there alone for a couple

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Speaker 1: of days, my friend and I, and she's like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, but it's they feel the Spanish here my

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Speaker 1: orkids are very unwelcoming. And I went, oh, yeah, you're right.

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Speaker 1: She's like, you haven't picked up on that. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: well no, because I have that same attitude, like don't

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Speaker 1: talk to me, you know, like I'm sucking happy they're

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Speaker 1: not trying to shoot the ship with me. But I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's interesting. And then everywhere we went,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, they are assholes like there, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, is it because we're Americans? Because usually

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Speaker 1: that's the reason. And I don't you know, you can't

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Speaker 1: argue that. I mean, we kind of deserve it. But

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Speaker 1: then we were like proving ourselves through town and like

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Speaker 1: like we're good customers, were good tippers, which you know

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Speaker 1: they don't care about any way over there, but you

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Speaker 1: would think anyway. By the end of the trip, I

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Speaker 1: realized that my rekinds are not friendly. We would go

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Speaker 1: in and like order a drink and they'd be like,

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Speaker 1: we don't have that. I'm like, you don't have the drink.

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Speaker 1: I could see the bar right now. They'd like, no,

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Speaker 1: thank you, Like they were basically rejecting our asking customers.

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Speaker 1: That happened on more than one occasion. And forget about

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Speaker 1: renting bikes. We rented bikes at the bike shop and

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Speaker 1: this woman was on such a tear that I I

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Speaker 1: just walked away because I was like, Okay, I can't

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Speaker 1: deal with this woman. She was so rude and so obnoxious.

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Speaker 1: My friend said to her, she goes, honey, do you

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Speaker 1: she to the woman, she goes, do you hate what

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Speaker 1: you're doing because it's coming across that you hate what

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Speaker 1: you're doing. Do you hate what you're doing because you're

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Speaker 1: being so aggressive? And she had all this attitude. She goes, no, no,

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Speaker 1: listen to me. I'm asking, like a woman to woman,

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Speaker 1: you should find something that makes you happy so that

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Speaker 1: you can spread happiness instead of hatred. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh wow, way to go after But then after that,

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Speaker 1: the woman was like peaches and cream every time we

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Speaker 1: saw her, so obviously it made a dent. Sometimes you

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Speaker 1: got to just meet people where they are. I guess. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was like, do I have to get out my

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Speaker 1: German and prove to you that I'm German because she's

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Speaker 1: German the woman, But I don't know any of my

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Speaker 1: German because obviously that's a heritage that you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: embarrassed about because of my Nazi roots. It's a conflicting

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Speaker 1: message my Nazi, my my grandfather who served in the war,

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Speaker 1: and then my father and being raised Jewish. Really yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I mean I don't say I think of him

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Speaker 1: as a Nazi, but he did serve in the war.

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Speaker 1: On the timing checks out, yeah, so I do consider

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Speaker 1: him slightly to be a Nazi. But he's dead now anyway,

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Speaker 1: so it have to worry about that. Yeah, he was

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Speaker 1: a prisoner of war in America for like three years,

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Speaker 1: so he kind of got out of a lot of

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Speaker 1: per him. A lot of the soldiers on the German

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Speaker 1: side did not want anything to do with that war,

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Speaker 1: but had nothing to say about it because it's your children. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you'd be strung up in the streets. Yeah, if

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Speaker 1: you were saying no, Yeah, I'd like to think that

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Speaker 1: I'm the type of person that even if my family

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Speaker 1: was going to be murdered, I would say okay on principle.

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Speaker 1: But that's also probably why I don't have a family,

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Speaker 1: because I would easily murder them or allow them or

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Speaker 1: you already got them murdered. Yeah, i'mlike the opposite of

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Speaker 1: a matriarch. I'm a martyr. Oh my goodness. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: we have a lot to get down too. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we have a lot to get up to today or

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Speaker 1: down to it. It It really depends how you look on it,

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Speaker 1: down reach around, I don't know. Right, Well, let's get

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Speaker 1: up to something, because it sounds more mischievous. Let's get

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Speaker 1: up to something. Speaking of getting up to something, our

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Speaker 1: guest today is always up to something. She is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she is a dear friend of mine, and she is

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Speaker 1: a supermodel. And that is how she would like to

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Speaker 1: be introduced from here. From henceforth, she would like to

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Speaker 1: be introduced as a supermodel. So please welcome number one

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Speaker 1: supermodel of the century, Amy Schumer. Well, thank you. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to thank you. Well, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to thank me yet. We'll save that for the end. Well,

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Speaker 1: thank each other. This is Catherine Amy. This is my

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Speaker 1: producer on our podcast. Hello to me likewise, and welcome

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Speaker 1: to dear Chelsea. It's an honor, it's a blessing. It's

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Speaker 1: a curse. It's mostly a curse. No, I'm excited to

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Speaker 1: do this. Well, I'm always excited to do anything with

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Speaker 1: you because we have very similar sensibilities and annoyances. So

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Speaker 1: we have a lot, we have a lot of similar

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Speaker 1: character traits, Amy and I do. So one of the

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Speaker 1: things that I wanted to talk to you about today.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I saw your movie The Humans last

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Speaker 1: night on Hulu, which was awesome. Awesome acting job, Amy,

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Speaker 1: awesome acting job. Thank you for the compliment on my

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Speaker 1: acting job. Thank you so much. And I hope that

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Speaker 1: this is going to come out right before my my

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Speaker 1: Hulu show Life and beathen Own starting and directed. But

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Speaker 1: it's not a big deal and it's not about that.

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Speaker 1: It's about just people in relationships and being present. But yes,

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Speaker 1: thank you for watching the Humans, and I hope that

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Speaker 1: people watch Life and beath on who lou Michael Sarah

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Speaker 1: pleased that my romantic love interests and to prepare, we

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Speaker 1: had actual sex. That's you know, he's married, I'm married,

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Speaker 1: but we both have kids. But we wanted Hulu to

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Speaker 1: have the best show they could, so tell us about

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Speaker 1: the show, Amy for those of us who aren't familiar

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Speaker 1: with Life and Bath, tell us what it's about and

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Speaker 1: based on well it comes out on Hulu in March eighteen,

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Speaker 1: and it is about a woman who Beth Me, whose

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Speaker 1: life is like seems pretty great on paper, good job,

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Speaker 1: hot boyfriend, new York City, good, you know, everything's good.

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Speaker 1: But she's completely dead inside and complacent in her life.

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Speaker 1: And and so then there's like a big event that

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Speaker 1: sort of makes her kind of look at her choices

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Speaker 1: in her life. That's perfect for this show because we

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Speaker 1: get a lot of emails from people who are in

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Speaker 1: that exact same position, like just the best life, yes,

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Speaker 1: wanted it, but like not sure how to make a change,

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Speaker 1: and or feeling feeling dead inside listless, like decl tory

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Speaker 1: where you just feel like there are so many different

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Speaker 1: words to describe that feeling, but it is the worst

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Speaker 1: feeling when you just feel hopeless and like rudderless, that

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Speaker 1: is the way to express it. Yeah, stuck and just

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Speaker 1: find yourself. At first, look what am I gonna do

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Speaker 1: with my life? You're so full of hope, and then

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Speaker 1: and then you get into this life and then at

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Speaker 1: a certain point you kind of wake up and you're like,

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Speaker 1: is this the life I want? You know? And so

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Speaker 1: that's kind of what the basis of the show is.

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Speaker 1: And it was really fun to make. I'm excited for

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Speaker 1: people to see it. I really am. Yeah, I'm excited

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Speaker 1: to see it as well. I've heard very good things

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Speaker 1: about it. And also I think it's a very relatable

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Speaker 1: topic for anybody, Like people may look at Amien myself

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Speaker 1: as people who are you know, living their best lives

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Speaker 1: because of success or because of fame or because of

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Speaker 1: money or whatever you want to relate that to. Looks

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Speaker 1: exactly looks bodies. But I think that is applicable to

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Speaker 1: anybody in any business. You know, there has definitely been

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Speaker 1: times in my life where I'm like, is this it?

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Speaker 1: This is everything I'm contributing, Like is this all I've got?

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Speaker 1: Is this as good as it gets? So it's not

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Speaker 1: an unrelatable topic at all. It's something that everybody kind

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Speaker 1: of feels. You know, if you're doing well in life

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Speaker 1: all the time, then you're probably not learning much. And

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Speaker 1: if you're feeling good all the time of out life,

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Speaker 1: you're probably clueless. So I don't have anyone in my life.

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Speaker 1: My darned the notifications is supposed to be off. Did

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Speaker 1: you get an Amazon delivery? I wish we actually live

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Speaker 1: at an Amazon facility so we don't have to wait. Perfect. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you're someone who I feel like You and I

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Speaker 1: you know, we relate on a million things, but we

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Speaker 1: first really became friends. Like I feel like, when when

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Speaker 1: you meet someone else who's like really interested in having

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Speaker 1: fun and having experiences, that's more rare than you think.

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Speaker 1: You know, you would think, So it's like when you know,

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Speaker 1: when we got together, when when you find someone like that,

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh cool, this person sort of has the

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Speaker 1: same philosophy as I do, and is trying also to

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Speaker 1: better themselves in the world around them, which is funny.

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Speaker 1: Like you you're friends with someone and because you like

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Speaker 1: hanging out, and then you kind of get to learn

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Speaker 1: about them, you know, like I I don't think I

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Speaker 1: knew what an activist you were, you know, just all

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Speaker 1: the things you were working on in that way. So

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Speaker 1: it's kind of fun to be friends with someone and

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Speaker 1: then realize how aligned you are in the you know,

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Speaker 1: topics you want to give your time and energy to. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Amy did this awesome thing on Martha's Vineyard where I've

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Speaker 1: been going to Martha's Juniord since I was born. Amy's

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Speaker 1: been going there for a really long time. And Chris,

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Speaker 1: her husband is from Martha's Vineyard. My first husband, her

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Speaker 1: first her her what is it called your what does

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Speaker 1: somebody who want to say to me? My current husband,

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Speaker 1: Her current husband is from Martha's Vineyard, and her current

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Speaker 1: baby is also has also spent his summers on the vineyard.

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Speaker 1: But Amy did this awesome thing where she every morning

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Speaker 1: last summer, every morning she had a group of people

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Speaker 1: meet in Vineyard Haven or West Tisbury was it? I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure that neiled for eight minutes and forty six

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Speaker 1: seconds for George Floyd. And she puts it that, orchestrated

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Speaker 1: that with some members of the community, and then she

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Speaker 1: had this kind of like group think after where everybody

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Speaker 1: could sit down on and talk about their feelings about

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Speaker 1: the issues, the feelings about everything that's going on politically

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Speaker 1: in this world, and just you know, the difference between

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Speaker 1: men and women and why men are a little bit

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Speaker 1: having a little bit harder time understanding the equality conversation.

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Speaker 1: That's such a nice way of putting it would honor

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Speaker 1: a different black person who was murdered by law enforcement

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Speaker 1: every day, like somebody would come in and speak about them,

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Speaker 1: And that was so meaningful to get to do that

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Speaker 1: with you, and it was it was really like an

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Speaker 1: amazing education. I know. I love that about you that

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Speaker 1: you're always trying to educate yourself more and you're never done.

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Speaker 1: And I feel the same way. And just you know,

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Speaker 1: when it comes to being an ally or an advocate,

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Speaker 1: it's like you just have to be like, just tell

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Speaker 1: me when I sunk up, and just try your best

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Speaker 1: to help. And and no one cares about anybody's white guilt,

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Speaker 1: so just save that for yourself and just help. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so that was really meaningful what I wanted to talk

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Speaker 1: to you about first. I think what I found to

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Speaker 1: be very inspiring about you is you're kind of understanding

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Speaker 1: that your husband, Chris was on the spectrum, or your

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Speaker 1: suspicion that he was on the spectrum. Can you talk

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Speaker 1: a little bit about that and like how you how

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Speaker 1: you deduced that. Yeah, So there were, you know a

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Speaker 1: couple of times where like when I talked about my

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Speaker 1: special where I one time I felt like we were

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Speaker 1: walking down the street and I fell and just I

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Speaker 1: feel like everybody would have just like nine out of

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Speaker 1: time people would just be like, oh my god, are

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Speaker 1: you okay, and like go to pick you up, But

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Speaker 1: he just kind of like stood there frozen, you know,

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Speaker 1: And it was like I was like that, that's that's

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Speaker 1: an interesting reaction. And if we were walking, if there

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Speaker 1: was like three people kind of walking together, he would,

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Speaker 1: without thinking about it, kind of goes straight, you know,

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Speaker 1: and sort of disrupt the traffic walking the other way.

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Speaker 1: You know, Like just these little things where I was

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Speaker 1: just kind of like huh. And but really I think

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Speaker 1: the repetition him him repeating himself when we would have

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Speaker 1: some sort of a disagreement, like he would get kind

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Speaker 1: of stuck on a thought and wouldn't be able to

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Speaker 1: hear what I was saying in a way that was

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Speaker 1: so frustrating and I didn't understand. And then I just

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Speaker 1: kind of looked at a quiz online. You know they

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Speaker 1: have these like like you know, and if you have whatever,

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Speaker 1: fifteen of these thirty things year on the spectrum, and

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Speaker 1: I just looked at it and it was like, oh, okay.

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Speaker 1: So I just said to him, if you have any

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Speaker 1: interest in being tested or learning more about this, I'm

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Speaker 1: totally into it. But if you don't, then don't worry

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Speaker 1: about it. And he was interested in went to a

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Speaker 1: couple of different psychologists and then the one who tested him,

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Speaker 1: Dr Gilbert, who is amazing. We went in together and

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Speaker 1: this isn't our documentary Expecting Amy On HBO Max, she

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Speaker 1: was like, you showed enough signs. I am diagnosing you

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Speaker 1: with Autism spectrum disorder a s D. It used to

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Speaker 1: be called Asperger, but it turns out Asperger I'd like

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Speaker 1: Nazi ties. Asperger sounds like it would have Nazi ties.

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Speaker 1: I know, it's not like that shocking. You're like, I

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Speaker 1: think we know which side you were on Dr Asperger

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Speaker 1: and and it was really helpful and like for us

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Speaker 1: communicating and working with this doctor and understanding the sort

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Speaker 1: of different brain chemistry and we really you know, he

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Speaker 1: has his own experience of it, but he felt a

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Speaker 1: lot better and under just to understand your brain more

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Speaker 1: and have things make sense from your whole life and people,

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Speaker 1: you know, being sort of I mean, he's really gifted.

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Speaker 1: You know, he's a James Beard Award winning chef and uh,

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Speaker 1: he's an amazing cookbook, the Beetlebung Farm Cookbook, which is

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Speaker 1: about the farm he grew up on, a Martha's vineyard.

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Speaker 1: But it was it really helped him and I think

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Speaker 1: other people that he grew up around that you know,

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Speaker 1: makes sense and it helps us communicate. And then we

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Speaker 1: wanted to share it because just to get rid of

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Speaker 1: not get rid of the stigma, but just help be

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Speaker 1: Like I'm married to this beauty, a full amazing person

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Speaker 1: and he's on the spectrum. And so many people are

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Speaker 1: on the spectrum. So many people friends of mine, they're

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Speaker 1: kids that you know, they don't get diagnosed because they're

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Speaker 1: afraid of that stigma, I think, and it's a shame.

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Speaker 1: So I really we both wanted to encourage people to

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Speaker 1: get tested and just find out because the tools that

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Speaker 1: you're given are really helpful. Yeah, and also identifying the problem.

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Speaker 1: One thing. Another thing Amy and I have in comment

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Speaker 1: is that we're both doctors. Medical doctors obviously, because we're

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Speaker 1: able to make diagnoses like this quite frequently and doctor,

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Speaker 1: and I was and I take a lot of pride

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Speaker 1: in that. And I was very really impressed that you

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Speaker 1: were able to spot that, and that also impressed by

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Speaker 1: Chris's inclination to actually explore it because there is this

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Speaker 1: you know, I can't tell you how many friends of

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Speaker 1: mine have children who don't want to go get tested

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Speaker 1: because they don't want to find out the truth, or

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Speaker 1: people with medical conditions that are not spectrum related that

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Speaker 1: don't want to get tested because they don't want to

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Speaker 1: find out the truth. And the truth is it will

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Speaker 1: make your life better. The truth is such power. It's

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Speaker 1: a tool. Then you have tools to use to understand

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Speaker 1: not only you, but how you relate to people, and

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Speaker 1: helps the people around you understand how to relate to you.

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Speaker 1: It's so important. My mom is a speech and hearing

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Speaker 1: therapist for the deaf, and you know there are these

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Speaker 1: there's this invention, the cochlear implant, where they can get

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Speaker 1: some hearing and she, you know, she signs with them

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Speaker 1: and whatever. But some parents didn't want to get that

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Speaker 1: for their kids, and they didn't want them to speak sign.

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Speaker 1: They would rather their children, this is not even that

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Speaker 1: long ago. They would rather their children try and lip

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Speaker 1: read and speak and not sort of admit to being deaf.

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Speaker 1: And I think of it as the same way. It's

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Speaker 1: just don't you want your child to have all the

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Speaker 1: tools possible to feel the best and succeed. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel really strongly about it. So does Hee. But

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Speaker 1: amazingly people who watched our documentary have reached out and

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Speaker 1: we're like, that encouraged me. And I got diagnosed and

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Speaker 1: I am so grateful and and things have been a

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Speaker 1: lot better and my relationships and that was like the

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Speaker 1: best outcome. Yeah, that is a good outcome. It's nice.

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Speaker 1: It's nice to be able to do that. And now,

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Speaker 1: I know you posted once and I don't know if

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Speaker 1: we've talked about this personally, but you were talking about

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Speaker 1: gene preternaturally having the same kind of diagnosis. Is that

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Speaker 1: what are what are the percentages of that? Like how

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Speaker 1: do you what's the deal with I think the statistics

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Speaker 1: are pretty strong towards he will most likely have autism.

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Speaker 1: Parents have different journeys with this. You know, having a

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Speaker 1: child with severe autism is beyond my imagination difficult. But

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Speaker 1: if Jean, if he does wind up having a s D,

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Speaker 1: I'm not looking for the signs in in a way

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Speaker 1: that I that are upsetting it. I I'm not hoping

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Speaker 1: either way. It's like most of my favorite people are

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Speaker 1: on the spectrum. But yeah, he's two and a half,

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Speaker 1: and I think they don't diagnose children until like maybe six,

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Speaker 1: you know, like the earliest. I think, you know, you

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Speaker 1: could see some signs, but diagnosis doesn't come till later.

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Speaker 1: And I can say, honestly, I don't have a preference

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Speaker 1: either way. You know, everybody, you just want your kids

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Speaker 1: to be happy and healthy. I think that's one of

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Speaker 1: the most important things that you guys are doing. And

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Speaker 1: raising awareness about this is like showing people that it's

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Speaker 1: not the end of the world. I have a family

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Speaker 1: member who's somewhere on the spectrum, and a friend of

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Speaker 1: mine the other day was saying, you know, she was

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Speaker 1: really worried because her nephew they're thinking he might be

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Speaker 1: on the spectrum, and she was really concerned, and I said,

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Speaker 1: you know what, it's not a guarantee that they won't

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Speaker 1: be able to live a normal, functional life. I mean,

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Speaker 1: this family member of mine, he's married, he's got a

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Speaker 1: great job, he runs its own business. Like he is

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Speaker 1: extremely creative and interesting and like goes to dance parties

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Speaker 1: and you know, frolics in the woods. But like it's

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Speaker 1: not something that necessarily has to be super scary. I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's scary as all. All. Oh, I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: your your child might be gifted, right, maybe it's a

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Speaker 1: most people, not everybody's like it's some you know, incredible

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Speaker 1: genius with antism, but most most people, like they do

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Speaker 1: have a real talent and for something so and they're beautiful, loving,

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Speaker 1: kind people and good partners. And I'm sorry that they're

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Speaker 1: not going to be able to do a good job

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Speaker 1: active listening to you at a party, but that I

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Speaker 1: think that's okay, Yeah they're not. And that is one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite things about Chris is that like once

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Speaker 1: he was diagnosed, it's like you just have a full

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Speaker 1: license to just if if someone's in the middle of

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Speaker 1: a long, boring story. He will just straight up walk away,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I'm just and everyone's like, oh, there

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Speaker 1: goes Chris, you know, and I still have to stand

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Speaker 1: there and listen, even though I'm dying. I want to

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Speaker 1: do chime in and say one of the cutest things

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Speaker 1: that Chris said about Amy when I asked him why

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Speaker 1: he fell in love with her, as he said, I

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Speaker 1: knew that she would be an amazing mother. Pretty cute.

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Speaker 1: That was pretty. That is so cute because I didn't

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Speaker 1: even think I wanted kids when we met. I actually

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Speaker 1: told him I didn't want kids when we met, and

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Speaker 1: he said, we are going to have kids and they're

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Speaker 1: going to be great. And I was like, oh, okay.

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Speaker 1: It was pretty easy to convince me. And you know

409
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Speaker 1: about that. I don't know if I told you this yet.

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Speaker 1: But there's a lot I want to talk about on

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Speaker 1: this as well. But one of the things is that

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Speaker 1: we I did IVF. We made embryos and I went

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Speaker 1: went through the IVF process, and which is so hard

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Speaker 1: and so many people go through it, and it's just

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Speaker 1: these women I am. My heart goes out because you know,

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Speaker 1: people do it so many times. I did it one

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Speaker 1: time and I was like, I'm gonna die. This is awful.

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Speaker 1: And I got like thirty one eggs and I just

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Speaker 1: felt so I was like, I'm fertile, myrtle. I just

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Speaker 1: like felt very hot. And then boom boo, like the

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Speaker 1: drop off after you know, fertilization and blah blah. We

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Speaker 1: only got one normal embryo and we tried and it

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Speaker 1: didn't work. So and now I don't have a uterus,

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Speaker 1: so we're going to have just one child and we're

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Speaker 1: just enjoying our little family and I'm just focusing on that.

426
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: And I think that, you know, there's so much pressure,

427
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: like once you have a kid of another one, you're

428
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: just like, but I'm excited about it, and but it

429
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 1: I was sad, you know, and and it's like it's

430
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 1: not really something you get sympathy for because it's like

431
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 1: you already have one, bitch, like shut up. But you

432
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 1: know that's a real struggle people go through as well.

433
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: And so I just wanted to share that that we

434
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,640
Speaker 1: we tried and we're just gonna have the one perfect,

435
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: little little adorable angel when there you have at everybody,

436
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 1: Those are your words of inspiration today from Amy. I

437
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 1: have other I have other words of inspiration. Here's something

438
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: else I wanted to talk about on here, if it's okay.

439
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: If it's okay, I just wanted to say I think

440
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: I may have told you this. So I got LiPo,

441
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: I got LiPo section. Um, I never thought I was

442
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: gonna do anything like that. Like when I would hear

443
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: LiPo section, I was just like, that's so crazy to me,

444
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: and I would say, I'm not ever going to do anything.

445
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: Cut to turning forty after having a C section and

446
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 1: being like, Hi, I can't feel my pupa anymore, like

447
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 1: and it just is out there, and endometriosis and he's

448
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 1: and my endometriosis surgery. I was like, I healed well.

449
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: So I was like, can I get light bow? And

450
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: I got light bow and I'm feeling really good. And

451
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say that because if anybody sees

452
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: me in pictures or anything and they're like she's looking

453
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 1: she looks thinner and whatever, it's like, it's because I

454
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: had I had a surgery. I just it's it's too

455
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 1: hard and I just want to be real about it.

456
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to share that on here. Well,

457
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 1: I appreciate your truth. It's always good to be honest

458
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: with the world and women especially women need our honesty

459
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: more than ever now. And I'm glad that you're healing well,

460
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 1: and I'm glad that I know you, honey. I'm glad

461
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: I know you, Honey. We're gonna take some callers because

462
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: we have real people that call in for advice, and

463
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 1: we try to curate the episode towards you, and you're

464
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 1: kind of areas of experience. So Catherine will start, but

465
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,640
Speaker 1: we have like two or three callers and we give

466
00:23:55,680 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: our advice real life stuff. So that's what Dear Chelsea is. Yeah, yeah,

467
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: very high ends. And before we do that, we have

468
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 1: to take a small break for some ads. Okay, perfect

469
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 1: time for a should be and we're back, and we're back.

470
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,439
Speaker 1: Welcome back. That was so quick. Whenever I go to

471
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,640
Speaker 1: the bathroom, Joe says to me, God, that was quick.

472
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 1: I'm like, women do not hang out on the toilet

473
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,439
Speaker 1: like men do with car magazines or men whatever the

474
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: funk they're on the phone. I find it really gross

475
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 1: when I go into somebody's bathroom and there is just

476
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,239
Speaker 1: a pile of magazines. It's like, oh God, It's like,

477
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: excuse are you inviting me? To take a shodub and

478
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: then also read while I'm sitting on your toilets, and

479
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: like all the pages are you like, you know, and

480
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 1: You're just like this is so gross, but you know,

481
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: what do you do? You still? I pick it up

482
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: and I read it whatever it is, and I'm just

483
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I guess I need to read this.

484
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: Do cross word now? I mean to be fair, no

485
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 1: one's been in our house for two years, so it's

486
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: just those magazines to the master bathroom, sorry, the primary bathroom. Yeah,

487
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 1: just leave the toilet on the front. And well, our

488
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: first call comes from Claire. Claire says, dear Chelsea, I

489
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 1: suspect my husband is on the autism spectrum. This is

490
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 1: right up your alley, Amy, whoa it's And that's wild

491
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 1: to me that you figured that out after you were together.

492
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 1: I figured it was just something I always knew about him.

493
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 1: But I think that's great. Diagnosed at thirty nine, that's wild.

494
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: I love that it's come up before in social situations,

495
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,719
Speaker 1: more as a joke about how incredible he is at

496
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: math and solving problems accurately in his head, not to

497
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: mention his recall of sports stats. But is that everyman.

498
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 1: I hadn't really considered that he might be on the

499
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,959
Speaker 1: spectrum until we reached out to a psychiatrist about our

500
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 1: daughter and some behaviors we were struggling to understand. He

501
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: recommended some resources about autism and girls since it's not

502
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 1: easily identified, and immediately, intuitively, I felt like it was

503
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 1: true for my husband as well. Since then, I've been

504
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: in turmoil. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since

505
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: having kids, and now I'm realizing we've been living in

506
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 1: this pattern of me feeling like I'm asking for help,

507
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 1: but he doesn't quote pick up on what I'm saying.

508
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: I know you have a good friend, Amy Schumer is

509
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: actually like before anybody even knew you were coming on

510
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 1: which her friend. She even wrote in the subject like

511
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 1: this is for Amy Schumer. If she gets is that

512
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 1: how I got booked? We reached fan request thank you, Claire, Yeah,

513
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: she says, I know you have a good friend, Amy

514
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 1: Schumer that is successfully married to a man who is

515
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: on the autism spectrum. How do I encourage him to

516
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: reach out for more resources without pushing him? I also

517
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 1: need him to take on more of the lead parent,

518
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 1: but his view can be very black and white, that

519
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: he's the breadwinner and needs to be available to his

520
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: job eight am to five pm Monday through Friday. At

521
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: the same time, he often tells me that he has flexibility.

522
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from someone living this reality help Claria.

523
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 1: Oh well, Claire, I so feel you. I just so

524
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: feel you, and and you know, to say successful, it's

525
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:14,719
Speaker 1: like it's still really hard. It's not marriage. It's marriage.

526
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: And he is my friend, you know, like we love

527
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 1: hanging out with. He's who I want to hang out with,

528
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: He's who I want to watch TV with. And then

529
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: there are some moments that are really hard and we

530
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: lean on our therapist a ton in those times. Get

531
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: we get a phone session and and she really helps us.

532
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 1: And so I think the thing is the initial thing

533
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: of wanting him to get tested. The way I approached

534
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 1: it was just, you know, it wasn't like a really

535
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: friendly way. You know, it wasn't like it wasn't in

536
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 1: the heat of a fight or something like that. It

537
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: was just proposing it to him. And I think everybody's

538
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 1: family is different. I don't know her husband. He might

539
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: be resistant to that, but I would just say, like

540
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: I know it's so hard. So I'm sorry because I

541
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: know it's it is really hard, and yeah, and sometimes

542
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 1: you're even like saying exactly what you need, but the

543
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 1: black and white is a real thing, you know. Like, actually,

544
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: we had a fight the other day. I was taking

545
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: Jeane to gymnastics, and he's amazing at gymnastics, obviously, and

546
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: I was hustling to get there, you know, and I'm like,

547
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 1: and it's hard, like it's physically hard, you know, people

548
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 1: I'm forty, Like it's not I don't have like a toddler.

549
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: Toddler's like forty pounds, and it's hard to get him

550
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: in places, you know. So I get there, rushed there,

551
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 1: and then we get in and you know, and the

552
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: mask and the whole thing, and there's like thirty little

553
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: Hasidic girls doing tumbling. And I realized that we were

554
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: a half hour early because Chris told me it was

555
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: a half hour, and so I text him, I'm going

556
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: to kill you, like you do that what you text

557
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: your husband in that situation. And he got really upset,

558
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: like he didn't think I was going to kill him,

559
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: but he just thought that meant like furious or whatever.

560
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: And yeah, and he kind of when we spoke later,

561
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: was like really fired up. But because it's so black

562
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: and white, and I'm like, no, you know, if I

563
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: also there are sometimes I would send like a heart

564
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: or like a smiley face to someone and he'd be like,

565
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: I think that's like inappropriate, you know, And I'm like, no,

566
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 1: you don't understand, like text culture or whatever. But my

567
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 1: point is I think approaching it, like I looked at

568
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: this online questionnaire, and I think that it would be

569
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 1: really helpful to me and our kids. And it would

570
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: mean a lot if you would if you look at

571
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: getting tested and maybe they'll find nothing or maybe they'll

572
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: help us and give us the tools. That's what I

573
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: would say. Yeah, And I think educating yourself also in

574
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: the interim, like there was a book that I know

575
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: that I sent you Amy that Chris had read, that

576
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: he and I had talked about. I think what was

577
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: it called how to be Autistic, how to Live a

578
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: happy how to be happy with autism, or We'll find

579
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: out that what was that? It was really amazing. It's like, so,

580
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 1: but that is such a good perspective, yes, because it

581
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: really breaks down that all different you know, any diagnosis

582
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: is not similar to the next diagnosis that everyone with

583
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: autism is experiencing some thing differently, but it gives you

584
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: an idea of how language and simple cues are different

585
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 1: for people who are on the spectrum versus people who aren't,

586
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 1: and that we live in a world that is built

587
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,719
Speaker 1: for people that are not on the spectrum, and there

588
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: are all these gifts even though that sometimes it can

589
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 1: feel like shortcomings when your partner doesn't react or interact

590
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: in the way that you would. It feels like it's

591
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: in a side or or or or in a front maybe.

592
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: But when you understand where they're coming from, you realize

593
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 1: that that they're making a contribution that you're not making.

594
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: They have something to offer that you don't have to offer.

595
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: So so really recognizing and understanding what those things and

596
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: those gifts are really helps you elevate that person in

597
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: your mind instead of to be annoyed at at their

598
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: lack of such a good point. And yeah, it's like

599
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: that is my one criticism about therapy. It's like, why

600
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 1: are we trying to teach them to do it our way?

601
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: You know, It's like why is our way the right way?

602
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: And so some of those things, like for younger people,

603
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: I think it's easier they if they get helped socially,

604
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: they get there. There's also a book called something about

605
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: best Practices being like oh and you can watch they

606
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: recommended like watch Letterman or listen to Stern interviews to

607
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: hear how people react and you know, just like to

608
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: see what sort of normal social cues look like, what's

609
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: normalized and yeah, and it's a little bit like, well,

610
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: is my way the right way? And you're exactly right

611
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: where if I were a single mom and I was

612
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: raising Gene alone, I would feel so bad for him

613
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: with what I have. Chris and I need, we need

614
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: each other and parenting because we have such different instincts,

615
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: and you know, I'm just like want to carry Gane

616
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 1: around on a satin pillow and Chris is like, I'll

617
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: let him like ride his bike down that hill, and

618
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: I'm just you know, so yeah, gosh, Claire, I really

619
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: feel for you. And and I think having a plan

620
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: if you come up with like sort of a schedule,

621
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: like you know, because you said he get some flexibility

622
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 1: at work, so it's like, how about Monday, Wednesday, Friday,

623
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 1: these hours you are present and do these things with

624
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: the kids, you know, so coming up with a schedule

625
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: that he can think about and look forward to, and

626
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: then making sure that you broach the subject to say

627
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: the way that Amy said, you know, not in the

628
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 1: heat of a fight, always in a calm, loving way,

629
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: like it's you guys finding out this together as a

630
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: team for the sake of your family. It's a whole

631
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: unit involved. It's not you being accusatory and saying this

632
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: is what's wrong with you, this, this, and this and this.

633
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,479
Speaker 1: It has to come from a very loving place. I really,

634
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: I'm proud of how I've the job I've done with

635
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 1: never weaponizing his diagnosis, you know, like I never like

636
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 1: because there are times where I just feel totally sure

637
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 1: that it's because of the difference in our brain chemistry,

638
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: but it's just never good to bring I just would

639
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: never bring it up in like you know, well you're

640
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 1: doing this because of right. Yeah, yeah, it's just and

641
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: I that's why I just I lean on our trusted therapist. Okay,

642
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 1: So those books are The Journal of Best Practices by

643
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: David Finch and How to Be Autistic by Amelia Poe.

644
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: Have you seen that show Love on the Spectrum, either

645
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 1: of you? Hell? Yeah, I love it it. I want more.

646
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: I know, I was so bummed when the first season

647
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,239
Speaker 1: like pretty clearly ended because the pandemic started like a

648
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: mid season. But it's just delightful. The only thing about

649
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: that show is I wish that they showed different you know,

650
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 1: it's love on the spectrum, but the people are all

651
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 1: kind of in a similar place on the spectrum, if

652
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,719
Speaker 1: I may. You know, it's like I wouldn't say severe.

653
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: You know, they're all functioning, lovely people. But I think

654
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: that's why people when something's about the spectrum, they go

655
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: all the way in one direction, and there is a spectrum.

656
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: There's so you know, there's so many people who would

657
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 1: would never know Chris is on the spectrum. But I

658
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: mean that show just makes me think for Claire, like

659
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: some of the frustrations in her marriage may come from

660
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: him potentially being on the spectrum, but also some of

661
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 1: the real joys in her marriage may come from that.

662
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: Maybe he's like really funny and blunt, like maybe he

663
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 1: has an incredible creative side, you know, whatever it is,

664
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 1: some of the joys of her marriage may be coming

665
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: from that as well. I'm sure they are. I'm sure

666
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,760
Speaker 1: they are. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing and I'm

667
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 1: there's no one I would rather be with. You know,

668
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 1: It's just I don't even mean that in like a

669
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: sweet way, but you know, the grass is always greener.

670
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: But it's just like, if I'm not with Chris, I'm alone,

671
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: you know, because I was ready to be alone and

672
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: then that this guy. I was like partnering up with

673
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 1: this guy and that's that and you have it? Yeah,

674
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 1: and he can cook. So can we have a prenup?

675
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: We don't need it. We don't need it. Yeah. Well,

676
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 1: our next color is Sarah, she says. Dear Chelsea. First

677
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: of all, I had married you so much and have

678
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,320
Speaker 1: been a fan of yours for years. Long story short,

679
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: I had an abortion almost two years ago. My partner

680
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: was an absolute asshole and was secretly in a relationship

681
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: with the mother of his other child the entire time

682
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 1: we were seeing each other. He made my abortion experience

683
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: an absolute nightmare. I've since grown a lot. I even

684
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: went to work for Planned Parenthood and recently became a

685
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 1: volunteer counselor for an abortion support text line. However, I

686
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: still struggle and feel a sense of emotional and sexual trauma,

687
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 1: and I have major trust issues and just think everyone

688
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 1: is out to hurt me. I've been debating whether or

689
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 1: not to email you. But if there's one person who

690
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 1: can knock some sense into me, I know it's Chelsea.

691
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,320
Speaker 1: Look forward to hopefully talking with you one day. Thanks

692
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 1: so much, Sarah. Hi, Sarah, Hi, Chelsea, Hi, Catherane Hi, Hi,

693
00:35:54,239 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 1: and Amy here Hi, Sarah Hi. Oh my gosh, Hi surprised. Yeah,

694
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 1: You've got lots of strong women here today to held

695
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 1: a lot of support here today. Oh my gosh, here,

696
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah, such a great question. Thank you for

697
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 1: that question. I mean, it's not for me, but you know,

698
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: if that's really Yeah, First of all, good for you

699
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: for having the strength to go through with getting an

700
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: abortion when you're in a toxic relationship and knowing that

701
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 1: that wasn't gonna fit having a baby. It wasn't going

702
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 1: to fix it when you're with somebody that can't participate

703
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 1: in that way. So first of all, you made a

704
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: really strong decision on your own and you should give

705
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: yourself a lot of credit for that. Thank you. And

706
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: I think I'll go first, Aby. I think that we

707
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 1: all go through all of these kinds of feelings. You know,

708
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: men have a way or whomever you're sexually attracted to.

709
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 1: You know, there there have a way of screwing us up,

710
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: but you don't ever have to think of that as

711
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 1: a permanent state of being. I've been in toxic relationships

712
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: with friends or with lovers or whatever, and that is

713
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 1: never a permanent thing. It's a period of time that

714
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: you go through and then it's your job to dig

715
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: yourself out of it. And the first you're already out

716
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: of the relationship. So the hard part and the most

717
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 1: difficult thing is doing that. Is getting rid of somebody

718
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 1: that you know that you have feelings for, and not

719
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 1: going through with having a baby with that person is

720
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: another strong move. So I think you've already set yourself

721
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 1: up for a lot of success, and it's just about

722
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 1: now getting yourself mentally equipped and fit enough to know

723
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 1: that you're not going to allow that. Like you said,

724
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: these are my standards. They're not down here, they're up here.

725
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 1: And now the world has a way of meeting you

726
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: in the moments that you are in. You know, when

727
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 1: you lift yourself up, things come to you in that way,

728
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: and when you don't think highly of yourself, lower things

729
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: come to you, Lower quality things come to you. So

730
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: I think you're like already on your way to like

731
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 1: great stuff and goodness, and you should enjoy this time

732
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: of growth because that's what it is. Thank you, that

733
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:01,280
Speaker 1: is I just like really just appreciate that questions so much.

734
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 1: And I just heard this, and I don't know, it

735
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 1: might not resonate, but somebody said to me, the grief

736
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 1: is unexpressed love, and so I think I think that

737
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: grief will probably always be with you, and so to

738
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 1: try and not like shoot it away but sit with it.

739
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: And I just think that you made such a great

740
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: decision because you wouldn't have been welcoming that child into

741
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 1: a good situation. And I think that's that is exactly

742
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: and so I think that is like the most extreme

743
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: act of of real love. And when you do become

744
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: a mother, if you do, you know, I if that's

745
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 1: something you want, then I think that decision will be

746
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: even stronger to you. Because I just all of my friends,

747
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: I really don't have anyone in my phone who hasn't

748
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 1: had an abortion, I mean really like truly, but that

749
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: doesn't make it any less like sort of painful or traumatic.

750
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 1: But and most of my friends have all in miscarriages,

751
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 1: So like these these insanely traumatic things, even though they

752
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 1: are more normalized. It's just like, you have every right

753
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,839
Speaker 1: to have that trauma, I would say, And I think

754
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: it's really cool to share that, and because I'm sure

755
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: it will make so many people feel better. I hope so,

756
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: especially right now. Yeah, I really hope so. And I

757
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 1: think it's the craziest thing. Thank you both for all

758
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 1: that you just said, because for me, it's like this

759
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: is very validating because like when it happened, I felt

760
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 1: so long because I didn't know anybody else that had

761
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: had an abortion. It wasn't something I ever really talked

762
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: about with my friends and family because why would you,

763
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So when it happened, I

764
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 1: just didn't really know what to do or who. Like

765
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: I was in a state. I was in Chicago by myself.

766
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 1: I didn't have any friends or family there. So my

767
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 1: sister flew to be with me, thank goodness. So she

768
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 1: came to be with me, and she's been my like

769
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 1: rock ever since. She always has been. But one of

770
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,319
Speaker 1: the first things she said to me when she came

771
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 1: to Chicago, though, she was like, I was crying, it

772
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: was a mess, and she was like, Sarah, it's gonna

773
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 1: be okay, Like, didn't Chelsea Handler have an abortion? And

774
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: that's the first time when I smiled. That was the

775
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 1: first time I left. That was the first time I

776
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 1: felt any sense of like I'm not alone because there

777
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: is someone else out there that I connect with in

778
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: some way that has been through it. So I and

779
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: then from that point forward, I just started researching, you know,

780
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: like reading people's stories on different websites and stuff like that,

781
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: and then that really helped me to grow and to

782
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: know that there are so many other people that I've

783
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 1: had similar situations or but now it's like I'm just

784
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,479
Speaker 1: kind of like cleaning up the mess that this person

785
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: made in my life. And every time I think I'm

786
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,919
Speaker 1: over it or like I'm healed, and something happens where

787
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, I still have a lot to

788
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: work on and a lot to do. So do you

789
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: think people can heal ChEls? Do you think people can

790
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 1: fully heal? Like is that a realistic goal? I think?

791
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,319
Speaker 1: You know. I mean, I don't know if you fully heal,

792
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: but I know from my my own personal experience, like

793
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: I went to therapy. I don't know how many years ago,

794
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 1: it was, like it was five years ago I went.

795
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 1: I went for two years, and the after effects of

796
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 1: it didn't really start to sprinkle throughout my life until

797
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: like this year. So it's like it's a long duration.

798
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 1: And if someone had told me, like, oh, you're gonna

799
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: go to therapy and then five years later you're going

800
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 1: to meet the love of your life, or five years

801
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: later you're gonna have all these great career highs or whatever,

802
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: I would have been like, funk, that's too fucking long.

803
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 1: I don't have five years, you know what I mean. Like,

804
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: I invested in therapy for two years and then I

805
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 1: let I and I just kind of went away from

806
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 1: that because I wanted to apply it to my own

807
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 1: life without leaning on my therapist. Right. I think a

808
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 1: lot of people don't want to start therapy because they

809
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: think you need to be in it forever, and some

810
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: people do. But I think a lot of therapists would

811
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 1: say that most people get to a point where they

812
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 1: can kind of graduate and use the tools they've learned

813
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: on their own. So I think that you just have

814
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 1: to be patient with yourself about the duration of time,

815
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 1: because now everything in my life is better than I

816
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,280
Speaker 1: could have ever expected at at this age, I thought

817
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: oh fun. You know, like I thought at this age

818
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,280
Speaker 1: i'd be retired living in Spain. Now I'm like having

819
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 1: the best time of my life. I'm in love. I

820
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 1: have so many great things going on, and I'm in

821
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: a place where I can really be grateful for it

822
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: and be present for it instead of being an asshole

823
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 1: or thinking I deserve it, or being kind of like

824
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 1: too cool for school, you know what I mean. So

825
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:24,760
Speaker 1: I think that you just have to really be patient

826
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 1: with yourself and understand that these times in between relationships,

827
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 1: especially when you're cleaning up the emotional mess that a

828
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 1: relationship has kind of unleashed, these are growth, huge growth

829
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: spurts for us, and be patient with yourself during that time,

830
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: allow yourself to grow, and allow yourself to heal, because

831
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 1: healing does happen. I don't know if we're ever really healed.

832
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: I feel really healed about my brother dying. I feel

833
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 1: like I got that out in such a big way,

834
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: and that now I feel healed. I don't feel like

835
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 1: something was taken away from me anymore, I understand. So

836
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 1: I just know that you're emotional right now out and

837
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 1: you have every right to be, and you should sit

838
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: with your pain like Amy said, I'm you know, I

839
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: totally believe that. And I think you're gonna be fine.

840
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna be just fine. And you're and

841
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 1: you're a badass. You're a badass. You're the ship. Good

842
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 1: stop stop, thank you live. I live in Portland's now Portland, Oregon.

843
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 1: Oh cool, Okay, so they're good people around you. And

844
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 1: I live with my sister now, so we have she

845
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 1: is like dream. It's like a living therapist almost. It's

846
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 1: it's the best thing ever. And I've told my you know,

847
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: ever since that happened, like I've I've opened up to

848
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: my family, so my parents know. Now that's why I'm

849
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: like putting it out here on a podcast because I'm

850
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 1: like my parents. Everyone that I love and cherish in

851
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: my life, they all know and they all support me.

852
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 1: So and you'll have so many people tell you me too,

853
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 1: me too, Me to me. It's like HPV. Like in college.

854
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 1: You know, I opened up at like one party, and

855
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: you know, it's like, yeah, it's true. It's like the

856
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 1: more people I told, the more I heard compete well

857
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,399
Speaker 1: that I have been friends with for years. They'd be like,

858
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 1: we'll kind of tell you something like I did too

859
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 1: a few years ago, and then it just kind of

860
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: opened the floodgates of my life of just being like,

861
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 1: you know what, now, I feel like it's my purpose

862
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: and like my mission in life too open up to

863
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,399
Speaker 1: people and talk about it and be like, I don't

864
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 1: know and not an example, but you know what I mean,

865
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 1: just someone that can be relatable and that you know,

866
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,359
Speaker 1: if I tell it, a beautiful, brave choice. Yeah it is.

867
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 1: It's scary, of course, but it's also like I feel

868
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 1: like if I don't talk about it, then I'm contributing

869
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: to the like stigma around it of not talking about

870
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 1: it and not exactly That's why it's so helpful right

871
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 1: now too. And honestly, if like you know, if anybody

872
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,879
Speaker 1: in your life had judgments about it, wouldn't you want

873
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: to get them out of your life anyway? Because like, yeah, yeah,

874
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: one of the things that I wanted to mention to

875
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 1: Chelsea was that, like, I feel like that's something I

876
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 1: really struggle with with in terms of relationships, is that

877
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: I don't know whether or not to tell people sometimes

878
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: and I I do kind want to weed them out

879
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: at this point, like if you're not gonna support that decision,

880
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 1: that I made. Then, like, I don't think you have

881
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: a spot in my life anymore, because this is a

882
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,360
Speaker 1: huge part of who I am in terms of like

883
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 1: a relationship, like I would be with someone that is

884
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: against it. It's just really weird for me, and it's

885
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 1: it feels like it's now part of my identity. But

886
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,399
Speaker 1: you also don't need to tell anybody, you know. It's

887
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 1: like I don't think on a first date, you know,

888
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: you gotta should we start with a drink? I had

889
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: an abortion. You know, you can tell anybody when you're comfortable.

890
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 1: Some I know, I know some women who are married

891
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 1: who never never say anything. And I would also argue

892
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: that you know, in the moment we're in in this

893
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: period of time, the louder that we can be about abortion,

894
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: the better. So if you are comfortable with it, I

895
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 1: think you should be talking about it, you know, like

896
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 1: it's obviously your personal choice. But like people really need

897
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: to seem to be really mistaken about how essential this

898
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 1: is in life. So it's very important that if you

899
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:57,479
Speaker 1: are you willing to use your voice, that you do

900
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 1: thank you and keeps posted. Okay, let us know how

901
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: your life goes. Well, I'm coming to your show in Feanruary,

902
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 1: so I'll great, I'll see you there then. Thank you

903
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:14,280
Speaker 1: so much, Chelsea and am thank you, take care, thank

904
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 1: you bye bye. Wow. That was a perfect caller for

905
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: this for this episode with Amy. Yeah, do we have

906
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 1: time for it? A last quick one? Um, yes we do.

907
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 1: We have Tiffany on the line. No, not different, I

908
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: mean she's wonderful too. Uh Dear Chelsea, She says, I'm

909
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 1: so envious of the relationship you have with your siblings.

910
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,919
Speaker 1: How do you do it? I have one sister who

911
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 1: is seven years younger than me. With our age difference,

912
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 1: we weren't close growing up, but the relationship hasn't improved

913
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: with age. We've both been divorced and remarried. We both

914
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,840
Speaker 1: now have blended families. I'm forty one, she's thirty four.

915
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: She lives about an or and a half from me,

916
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:04,240
Speaker 1: and we never talk because she hates my husband. According

917
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: to her, he reminds her of her ex husband. Ever

918
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,359
Speaker 1: since marrying him four years ago, she's barely spoken with me.

919
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,319
Speaker 1: She's invited me and my son to holidays at her home,

920
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 1: but required I not bring my husband or his kids,

921
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: which I'm not going to do. I've invited her entire

922
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 1: family to our home for many holidays, but she never attends.

923
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: I called her several times, but she doesn't answer, or

924
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 1: does and gets off the phone within five minutes. I

925
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 1: send Christmas gifts for her kids, but they're criticized. I

926
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: don't know what to do at this point. I'd love

927
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 1: to have a relationship with my sister, but it is

928
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 1: seemingly impossible at this point. Do I keep trying to

929
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: reach out to her or light the match on this bridge? Tiffany, Wow, Hi, Tiffany, Hey, Chelsea,

930
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,959
Speaker 1: it's so good to visit with you. And Amy's here

931
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: today as our special guy. Tiffany, Oh, oh my gosh,

932
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,720
Speaker 1: Hey Amy, it's so good to see you. You too.

933
00:47:56,600 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 1: I really appreciate that question, sister, really you it's so tough.

934
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:06,359
Speaker 1: And this is Catherine, Tiffany. This is my producer, co host, Catherine. Yes,

935
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 1: we've chatted. We've chatted, Okay, okay, of course, yes, of course.

936
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: So that sounds like a very very difficult situation and

937
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: really frustrating for you. Huh. Yeah. And since I sent that,

938
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 1: we've had Thanksgiving come up and Christmas planning and so again,

939
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: you know, I invite everyone over for the holidays to

940
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: our house and she never comes. She doesn't bring her family.

941
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 1: It's just like, here we go again with this game

942
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 1: of oh, well you can come and your son can come,

943
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,919
Speaker 1: but your husband and his kids can't. And we're all

944
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: one big, happy family. I mean, our kids are all

945
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: there and fifteen, so it's really odd to say, oh,

946
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ditch half of my family to go to

947
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 1: your house. It's just odd. And I keep trying to

948
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: reach out, like can we do lunch? Can we talk

949
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: about this, and she's just not having it. So I'm

950
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: just wondering, when do I just say, hey, look me up,

951
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: when you can be civil with my family. Oh, on

952
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 1: the one hand, I do. I mean, I fully identify

953
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,399
Speaker 1: with this from like a sister perspective, and sisters can

954
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,760
Speaker 1: be so difficult. And I think some of it maybe

955
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:14,239
Speaker 1: because she's a little younger, but you know, kind of

956
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 1: thinking about it from this perspective of your husband reminds

957
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:20,320
Speaker 1: her of her ex husband. I went through an abusive

958
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 1: relationship in college, and for years afterward, if I was

959
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 1: walking down the street and even saw someone who like

960
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: looked vaguely like this person, my like body would tense up.

961
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 1: I was like I felt like I wanted to punch

962
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: this random stranger, like it was a visceral reaction. So

963
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 1: my thought is, like it may have something to do

964
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: with that, But that's also sort of her thing that

965
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: she needs to process because your husband is a different person,

966
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: you know, she needs to get to know him and

967
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,439
Speaker 1: make a judgment call based on him. Can I ask,

968
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 1: does your sister have any sort of a possible personality disorder?

969
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 1: I'm serious, like did she struggle like in any way

970
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 1: growing up that you think that there could be some instability?

971
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 1: They're just totally like, not meaning to project, but just curious.

972
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 1: I mean, no, I don't. I Actually what Catherine was

973
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 1: saying may make sense. I mean, her previous relationship was

974
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: an abusive relationship, so that could very well be the case.

975
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 1: But I guess my confusion is like even the kids,

976
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 1: like the kids can't even associate with your kids. I mean,

977
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: it's trick that is so brutal. I just want to say,

978
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 1: like I I really, I really really feel this, And

979
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 1: I just think the narratives that people create, they're almost

980
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 1: none of our business. They're so everybody just writes their

981
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,839
Speaker 1: own story about every person, no matter how close you've

982
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 1: been or anything, and to try and chase it and

983
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: correct it and whatever is an impossible task, I would say,

984
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 1: And if I were you, I would just say the

985
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 1: door is open any time, and then I would back

986
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: off because probably each of those invitations isn't landing well

987
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:09,320
Speaker 1: with her. That's what I would say. But it's really painful,

988
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 1: and I'm and I'm really sorry, especially the kids. That's horrendous. Yeah,

989
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 1: I appreciate that well. And you know the reason I

990
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 1: wanted to write in is because you know, Chelsea is

991
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:23,280
Speaker 1: is well now one of five, and yeah, vacation together.

992
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 1: It seems like with that many siblings there would be

993
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:30,359
Speaker 1: some things that come up and that Chelsea's obviously worked through.

994
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, God, I have one sibling and I

995
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,799
Speaker 1: can't make it work with just the one. And I'm

996
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: trying everything I can do, and I hate to to

997
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 1: just cut her off. But at the same time your

998
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: fault at all. I'm open to having a relationship with you,

999
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 1: but you can't just keep saying Okay, well you can't

1000
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 1: talk about your husband, or you can't bring your other

1001
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 1: kids here. I mean, it's that's a lot. And have

1002
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 1: you attempted to just have like a lunch with her

1003
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: one on one so that you guys can talk about

1004
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 1: it like adults. Yeah. So the closest we've gotten to

1005
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,399
Speaker 1: that is a couple of years ago, right before a hit.

1006
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 1: I actually made lunch plans with her and drove an

1007
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 1: hour and a half to her house and then I

1008
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: was like, hey, I'm having I called her, Hey, I'm

1009
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 1: having trouble finding exactly where your house is because she

1010
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 1: had moved, and she's like, oh, I totally forgot about that. Yeah,

1011
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 1: that won't work for me, and she canceled on me

1012
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 1: after I had already driven out there. I've tried calling

1013
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,400
Speaker 1: her and she doesn't answer. She is like, oh, the

1014
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 1: kids are bothering you know, the kids are bothering me.

1015
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,240
Speaker 1: I gotta go. The conversations are just a couple of minutes,

1016
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,439
Speaker 1: and then she wants to get off of them. Well

1017
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,280
Speaker 1: I would just I would probably have one last effort,

1018
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: and in that effort, whether it's an email, sometimes that

1019
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 1: lands better because people have time to digest it and

1020
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 1: reread it, or a phone call or an in person meeting,

1021
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 1: if you prefer, whatever your preferences, with one last effort

1022
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 1: to just say hey, listen, we're sisters. You're the only

1023
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: sister I have. I'm the only sister you have. I

1024
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 1: understand that you have some issues, but if you know,

1025
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 1: you have to kind of take it from my perspective.

1026
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 1: This is my family. This is not your ex. Husband

1027
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 1: is my husband. These are my children, these are his children,

1028
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: These are the people I love the most in my world.

1029
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,399
Speaker 1: As my sister, I would love for you to have

1030
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 1: open arms to my whole family and not try to

1031
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 1: segment our family to your liking. That doesn't really work

1032
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 1: for us. But my door is always open because I

1033
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: love you. I'm always happy to see you one on one.

1034
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 1: It's when she starts to bifur kate the family that

1035
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 1: that's not kosher, you know, Like, I'm always happy unless

1036
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 1: your husband has done something to hurt her that you

1037
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 1: haven't mentioned, or has been awful to her in any way. Right, So,

1038
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,719
Speaker 1: so it's just a reasonable rational email explaining like that

1039
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 1: you will always love her, that you always desire a

1040
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: relationship with her, and that it seems really unreasonable the

1041
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 1: demands that she makes in order to see her, and

1042
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 1: leaving the door open, like Amy said, you know, for

1043
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:57,879
Speaker 1: future whatever, and then make peace with that with yourself

1044
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,160
Speaker 1: because you have to be the one that's okay with that.

1045
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:02,359
Speaker 1: Somebody just said that to me. They said, the most

1046
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,279
Speaker 1: important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. So it's

1047
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 1: obviously like really painful for you. So I would do

1048
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: whatever you have to to take care of yourself. I

1049
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,280
Speaker 1: really appreciate that. I think that's what I needed. I

1050
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 1: to hear that saying that to her is okay, you know,

1051
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,239
Speaker 1: putting that line in places okay, and I Chelsea, I

1052
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 1: like how you phrased it that, you know, okay, one

1053
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,320
Speaker 1: on one if you want to meet up, that's great,

1054
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 1: But once you start segmenting my family, that's where it

1055
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 1: becomes a problem. I think that phrasing is really good.

1056
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 1: So yeah, and I like the idea of an email too,

1057
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,239
Speaker 1: so that I'm not, as you know, quick to to

1058
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 1: say something over the phone. I like that a lot. Yeah,

1059
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 1: and make sure it's loving from the beginning and the

1060
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 1: end shouldn't be fire. It should be loving because when

1061
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,399
Speaker 1: you read loving words, it's like they have a way

1062
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: of resonating more so then I think sometimes even hearing them,

1063
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Yeah, I like that a lot.

1064
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 1: Thank you for but let us know what happens. Okay,

1065
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: keep us posted. I will thank you all. Thank you.

1066
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:04,760
Speaker 1: So nice to see you, Tiffany, so good to see you, Chelsea.

1067
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 1: If you ever decide to come to you know, conservative

1068
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 1: hell Oklahoma, then let us know. We're ready to to

1069
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: have your stand I watch your stand up on Netflix.

1070
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 1: But you know you don't come to Oklahoma very often

1071
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 1: because it's like Republican, like crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I think

1072
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 1: I crested people there too. I think I crossed the

1073
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 1: Oklahoma off my list at some point, but I will

1074
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 1: revisit it. Okay, Okay, I think we should come to Canada.

1075
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 1: But take care and good luck with your sister. Thank you,

1076
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 1: Thanks Tiffany. We are going to take a quick break

1077
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 1: so you can hear and add and then we'll be

1078
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:47,319
Speaker 1: right back. So sad. I know family family ship is

1079
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 1: always so annoying. An. Do you get in stuff with

1080
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 1: any of your siblings at holiday times? Yeah? I mean

1081
00:55:56,080 --> 00:56:00,040
Speaker 1: my brother. Yeah. Yeah. It's a constant negotiation. It's a

1082
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 1: life long you know, it is really painful. But I

1083
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,399
Speaker 1: do think I do believe what I said to her,

1084
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 1: where you have to like at a certain point if

1085
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: it's hurting you, like she's in a lot of pain. Yeah,

1086
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:13,839
Speaker 1: and if it's hurting you, like do what you need

1087
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 1: to do so that you're not in pain. So if

1088
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 1: something has this dynamic, you know, and at a certain

1089
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 1: point if you need to step away, then I think

1090
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,839
Speaker 1: you just have to do that. And just to know

1091
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,200
Speaker 1: that she doesn't have to keep chasing her, that she

1092
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 1: can just allow her sister to come to her when

1093
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 1: she's ready. But yeah, I think Chelsea, what you said

1094
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 1: about it has to like start an end with compassion

1095
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 1: and like really hammer home the compassion rather than well

1096
00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 1: that's because that's what I learned in therapy. Like I

1097
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: would always just be like, this is what you fucking did.

1098
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:45,399
Speaker 1: You can't that's the thing. You really, whatever narrative her

1099
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 1: sister has made up, it's not just that her husband

1100
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: triggers her, like she has created a story, you know,

1101
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: And in that email you're talking about it, if she

1102
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:55,840
Speaker 1: were like he's never done anything, it's like not helpful.

1103
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:59,360
Speaker 1: It's like they are going to believe, you know, whatever

1104
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:03,360
Speaker 1: they've written in their mind. Anyway. Life and Bath is

1105
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 1: on Hulu March eighteen, Fabulous everybody, and yes, don't forget

1106
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 1: Amy had LiPo and Life and Death is on Hulu Hulu,

1107
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: and I'm confusing my own book with her show. Life

1108
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: and Bath will be on not Hilo, Hulu fabulous large.

1109
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 1: It premieres and everything Amy does is awesome, so make

1110
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: sure you fucking check it out. I mean that's accurate. Amy.

1111
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: Did you have any advice that you wanted to ask

1112
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: Chelsea for? Oh? Oh, I didn't know it was supposed

1113
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 1: to be advice. It doesn't have to be. It doesn't

1114
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 1: have to whatever it is. I have two questions. I

1115
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 1: have two questions, okay. One is what do you think

1116
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: my reputation is with people in our industry? Well, that's

1117
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:55,560
Speaker 1: a good question to I think your reputation is. I

1118
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 1: think that you are considered to be a badass. I

1119
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 1: would say, I think that you're in control of your

1120
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 1: own decision making. And I would say that people know

1121
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: that you're tough and right back at you. What do

1122
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 1: you think your reputation is the same within the business? Yeah,

1123
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: I would say that too, when you don't. We really

1124
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 1: like each other. So and you know what I say,

1125
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,919
Speaker 1: If no one thinks you're a cunt, you're not doing

1126
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:28,840
Speaker 1: it right On that note, counts out, counts out, y'all.

1127
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 1: Thank you, Amy, I love you so much. I love

1128
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 1: you so much. Alright, really nice meeting and Katherine. Alright, okay,

1129
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 1: stand up dates. I have Winnipeg coming up March tenth

1130
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,439
Speaker 1: and March eleventh. There are still tickets to the second show,

1131
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 1: which I believe the second show was added on the tenth. Yes,

1132
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 1: we have two shows coming up in Toronto March twelve.

1133
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 1: You can get tickets to the late show still for that,

1134
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to Ottawa, and then I picked

1135
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 1: back up in Cedar, Rapids, Des Moines and Omaha April fourteen,

1136
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 1: and then every weekend and through July. So pick your

1137
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,919
Speaker 1: tickets up, go buy them at Chelsea handler dot com

1138
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 1: and you'll see me on my People's Choice Award winning

1139
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:15,440
Speaker 1: comedy tour, the best tour of one, and even though

1140
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 1: it's two, I consider it to be the best tour

1141
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: of two as well. Thank you, And if you'd like

1142
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 1: to get advice from Chelsea and one of her guests,

1143
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: please write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com