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Speaker 1: This is the Fred Show.

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Speaker 2: Kelly Clarksony is returning to Las Vegas in twenty twenty

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Speaker 2: six for her Studio Sessions Las Vegas Residency. You can

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Speaker 2: enter now for a chance to win a trip for

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Speaker 2: two to the July twenty fourth show, a two night

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Speaker 2: hotel stay at Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas

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Speaker 2: July twenty third through the twenty fifth, and round trip airfare.

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Speaker 2: Text Hazel right now for a chance to win. A

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Speaker 2: confirmation text will be sent. Standard message and data rates

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Speaker 2: may apply. All thanks to Live Nations show Stay or Go. Hi, Kelly,

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Speaker 2: Good morning, Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: How are you?

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Speaker 3: Hi?

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Speaker 1: Hi Kelly? What's going on?

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Speaker 2: You know people at Whoa Whoa on the train tracks,

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Speaker 2: what's going on?

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Speaker 1: The cool tug vot? Hello? Yeah, Hi? No, what is

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Speaker 1: going on with you? Kelly?

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Speaker 2: People hit us up on all the socials on their

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Speaker 2: website and they tell us their relationship problems and then

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Speaker 2: we feature them. We feature a relationship problem every Tuesday,

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Speaker 2: and then we talk about you behind your back, Kelly.

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Speaker 1: What's going on?

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Speaker 4: So?

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Speaker 5: I need some advice? I started dating my boyfriend like

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Speaker 5: six months ago.

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Speaker 6: We both have kids and he is going on a

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Speaker 6: vacation with his ex.

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Speaker 7: And his kids.

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Speaker 5: They try to do this like one seater, and I'm

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Speaker 5: fine with it, but my friends are like leaving their minds.

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Speaker 5: They're like, he's so disrespectful. That's weird, and I think

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Speaker 5: it would be weird for me to go with my children.

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Speaker 1: It's just too new.

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Speaker 5: But now they've gotten in my head and I want

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Speaker 5: to tell like, I want.

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Speaker 6: Other people's perspective because I know my friends and like

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Speaker 6: they love me and they will protect me. But I

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Speaker 6: don't feel like I need the protection. I just I

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Speaker 6: want to know what other people think, Like what am

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Speaker 6: I supposed to do?

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Speaker 1: It's always little friends, it's meddling.

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Speaker 8: It is always a little friends, But in this case,

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Speaker 8: I kind of need the little friends to step in

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Speaker 8: that crazy.

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Speaker 2: So your friends are You're dating a guy that has

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Speaker 2: an X and has kids with the ex, and your

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Speaker 2: friends are concerned about I just want to say it the.

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Speaker 1: Way that I'm feeling.

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Speaker 2: They're worried about the fact that he has a functioning

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Speaker 2: relationship with his ex wife or girlfriend with whom he

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Speaker 2: has kids, and that he's making an effort to keep

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Speaker 2: a family unit together even though the primary relationship didn't work.

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Speaker 2: I just want to be clear about this. So it

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Speaker 2: would be better if it was completely dysfunctional and they

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Speaker 2: hated each other and they couldn't do anything together.

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Speaker 6: Okay, See, that's just what I think that I think

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Speaker 6: it's totally normal.

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Speaker 5: But my friends are convinced that he's like cooking up

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Speaker 5: with his X.

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Speaker 1: Well, your friends are insecure.

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Speaker 2: I mean, why is it inherent that if two people

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Speaker 2: are together who have and in this case, they have

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Speaker 2: a reason to be together, it's the children. Why can't

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Speaker 2: there be boundaries I actually would think. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 2: not telling you I would love this, but I'm also

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Speaker 2: saying to you that I think it's a far better

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Speaker 2: sign than situations that I am aware of or have

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Speaker 2: been involved with, where people have kids with someone they hate.

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Speaker 2: I mean, the toxicity there is life changing. And in

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Speaker 2: this case, they're doing the best they can to keep,

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Speaker 2: you know, keep things somewhat regular and normal for the

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Speaker 2: for the kids.

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Speaker 1: That they have.

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Speaker 2: And who is to say that in another six months,

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Speaker 2: when you guys have been together for a year or something,

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Speaker 2: that maybe you don't all go together.

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Speaker 1: How healthy would that?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I'm sure your friends will think that's weird too, but

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Speaker 2: that would be very healthy and very functioning. I think

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Speaker 2: if you guys were all even to pull this off together.

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Speaker 6: Yes, okay, thank you, So this is exactly I completely agree.

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Speaker 6: We talked about me going on this trist, but I

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Speaker 6: think it's too soon that you know, my kids have

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Speaker 6: not met his kids.

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Speaker 5: Get this would be a weird time.

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Speaker 6: But like just the fact that he invited me to

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Speaker 6: me says that he's not doing anything weird with her.

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Speaker 2: I can't stand the insecurity sometimes. Let me take some

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Speaker 2: phone calls on this because I don't know if anyone's

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Speaker 2: probably someone listening is going through something like this, or

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Speaker 2: is on one side or the other end that they've

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Speaker 2: they've been able to pull this off or they haven't

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Speaker 2: for whatever reason. But have the radio on Cally and

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Speaker 2: thank you for calling you good luck with everything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you?

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Speaker 2: Eight five guys. What do you think in the room.

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Speaker 2: But I would love to hear call and text the

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Speaker 2: same number. I'd love to hear what you think, especially

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Speaker 2: if you've encountered something like this, because again, there was

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Speaker 2: no way when my parents got divorced when we were young,

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Speaker 2: there was absolutely no way they were doing anything together.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it was to the point where they had

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Speaker 2: to divide. Well, my father didn't go to much, but

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Speaker 2: like you know, sporting events or family days or they

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Speaker 2: couldn't even go to the same one together. And if

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Speaker 2: they did, it was like I was as a kid,

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Speaker 2: I was like, please behave you know, which is kind

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Speaker 2: of a I'm not gonna say dramatic, but it's a

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Speaker 2: really unfortunate thing for a kid to be like, I please,

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Speaker 2: please don't do it.

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Speaker 1: Can you guys get along and not be idiots? You know?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no no.

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Speaker 2: But I just mean the fact that they're not doing

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Speaker 2: that and that they can pull this off and have

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Speaker 2: a boundaried relationship.

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming. I think that's a really good sign already

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Speaker 1: so many steps ahead they are.

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Speaker 8: And she kind of lost me because she said that

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Speaker 8: they've talked about her going, so she had an in again,

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Speaker 8: she it's her twitch months to go. Six months can

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Speaker 8: be a lot to some people, it's a little to

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Speaker 8: some other people. So I feel like she had the

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Speaker 8: option to go. She's like, I don't feel like it's time. Yeah,

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Speaker 8: I'm not ready to do that perfectly, fine, So then

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Speaker 8: you're right. The little friend's need to say out of it.

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Speaker 8: The invite was there she could go.

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Speaker 7: Did she clarify if they're sharing the same room, I

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Speaker 7: don't know if I missed.

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Speaker 2: It, No, I mean that would be inappropriate. I think

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Speaker 2: if they slept in the same bed, I do think

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Speaker 2: that would be not boundaried. But I mean, if they're

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Speaker 2: doing it for the sake of the kids, and they're

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Speaker 2: getting along, or they're getting along well enough to be

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Speaker 2: able to do this, I have a feeling that that's

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Speaker 2: a co parenting dream.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, they're not in the same room.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if they're going to do it, they can

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Speaker 1: do it in one or the other. They can do

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Speaker 1: it hear their hometown, right, you can do it in

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Speaker 1: the studio. I don't know.

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Speaker 7: I'm in the same room. Makes a difference for me.

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Speaker 7: I don't care what you can do. Yeah, okay, with

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Speaker 7: that six month relationship. You claim that the purpose of

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Speaker 7: this trip is to co parent, But if you're sleeping

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Speaker 7: in the same bed together, that's more like an open relationship.

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Speaker 1: That's not it.

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Speaker 7: We got a family room for the kids.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, for the kids. Honestly, I love this.

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Speaker 2: I love that they're making that effort.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 2: I love that they can put it. They can put

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Speaker 2: that whatever their issues were aside. And I don't know

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Speaker 2: if it was toxic or if it was just one

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Speaker 2: of the one of those relationships where people say, hey,

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Speaker 2: we're not for each other anymore, or whatever it was,

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Speaker 2: whatever the case may be. They're putting the family unit,

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Speaker 2: they're putting the kids above themselves, and it's transparent and

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Speaker 2: it's open and it's communicative, and I don't I think

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Speaker 2: the friends. I think there's probably some friend who's really

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Speaker 2: insecure who's giving her really bad advice, which is there's

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Speaker 2: always one. There's always what do you mean, Jason, You're like,

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Speaker 2: you're like moaning and groaning over there.

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Speaker 1: No, I mean, I I don't know.

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Speaker 9: I mean I get I'm also very insecure, so I

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Speaker 9: would be a worry war it no matter what. But

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Speaker 9: I think if you want that relationship to progress, you

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Speaker 9: have to trust that it's going to be okay, because

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Speaker 9: the situation is better than it could be in relation

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Speaker 9: to co parenting. So it's like, if you want that

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Speaker 9: to be part of your life, you kind of just

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Speaker 9: have to trust it. But I would be home sweating bullets.

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Speaker 9: I just I just know it, just because I know

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Speaker 9: how I am.

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Speaker 2: I mean the alternative is and there's probably something in

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Speaker 2: the middle, but the alternative is the other extreme. Maybe

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Speaker 2: is that this guy's constantly complaining to her about how

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Speaker 2: much he hates his baby mom and how difficult life

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Speaker 2: is because of her, and how and how she's always

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Speaker 2: grew And it's like that level of toxicity, whether it's

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Speaker 2: kids or whether it's just an ex or whatever, that

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Speaker 2: that adds complexity and stress to a relationship that doesn't

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Speaker 2: have I think it's healthy if they can get along,

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Speaker 2: oh for sure, versus the alternative. Hey Sam, how you doing.

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Speaker 1: Good?

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Speaker 3: Hi?

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Speaker 1: Sam?

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Speaker 2: So this is your scenario and I'm good. Thanks for asking.

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Speaker 2: This is your scenario. You're you're living this?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I have kids and my girlfriend has kids from

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Speaker 3: different people.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and what are the terms? Like, how does this work?

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Speaker 2: Do you do you and your ex get get along

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Speaker 2: with the other people respectively? And do you do you

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Speaker 2: do things separate and together? How does it work?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: We made it work, but it's very complex. It's very complicated.

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Speaker 3: There's so many moving parts and so many feelings to consider.

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Speaker 3: You're you're forced to take things very slow and to

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Speaker 3: jump into something like that like so soon. It's a

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Speaker 3: brand new relationship. You have to be very careful. But

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Speaker 3: I agree with you though she's in a good spot.

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Speaker 3: She's in a much better place with the guy that

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Speaker 3: has a healthy relationship with the next and her friends

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Speaker 3: just sound like they're talking through insecurity.

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Speaker 1: It does does seem that way.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Sam, have a great day, thanks for listening,

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Speaker 2: and good luck with everything.

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Speaker 1: All right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we've all probably been with the person

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Speaker 2: who hates their ex and it always seems to overshadow everything.

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Speaker 2: And then when you've got kids, the ex is never

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Speaker 2: going away. I mean really really not really, They're always

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Speaker 2: going to be at something, at least until the kids

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Speaker 2: turn eighteen. Then it's probably going to be weddings and

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Speaker 2: you know, grandkids and the rest of it. So it's like,

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Speaker 2: you know, the fact you can hate someone forever, but

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Speaker 2: that's going to affect the bystander. So the fact that

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Speaker 2: they're getting along as long as I can, as long

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Speaker 2: as there are like ground rules. Hey, Sena, yes, Hey,

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Speaker 2: Hey Sina, Hey, good morning. What do you think say

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Speaker 2: or go?

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Speaker 4: I say stay.

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Speaker 5: I'm in the same situation my ex. We have two kids.

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Speaker 5: We split up to get to work out between us

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Speaker 5: and the first year was a little tough. But now

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Speaker 5: we're three years out. I have a living boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: He now has a girlfriend. We hang out, we go drinking,

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Speaker 4: we talk, we work together.

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Speaker 5: No court systems involved. Everything with a kid. Yeah, and

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Speaker 5: it's all about the kids at the end of the day.

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Speaker 4: And we're mature goals.

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Speaker 5: He has to look at it that way. I hate

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Speaker 5: some people are not nine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I think there's some insecure. I think there's

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Speaker 1: some rejection going on here. But sheda.

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Speaker 2: Thank you have a great day, and thank you for

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Speaker 2: calling it, for listening to Kelly. Hi, Kelly, you say

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Speaker 2: that none of this is normal. It is not normal

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Speaker 2: for people to go back this way.

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Speaker 10: Hi, good morning guys. Okay, so I say this as

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Speaker 10: a divorced person. I've been divorced. How old are you

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Speaker 10: She's she's nine. We've been worked for eight years.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you mind your business, you know.

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Speaker 10: Love it and and we have a great relationship.

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Speaker 11: My ex and I do, like we.

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Speaker 3: Call parent really well.

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Speaker 10: Like we've been at baseball games and you know, people

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Speaker 10: don't know we're divorced because like we sit together, you know,

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Speaker 10: I see his parents. We have a great relationship. We

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Speaker 10: don't travel, we don't do holidays together because we are not married.

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Speaker 10: That is what you do when you are married. When

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Speaker 10: you get divorced, things change and that's okay, And it's

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Speaker 10: okay for kids to know that you're not you know,

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Speaker 10: we don't scream at each other and we don't you know,

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Speaker 10: we can be in the same place. But her friends

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Speaker 10: are right, but the right for the wrong reasons. Like

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Speaker 10: they might not be hoking up, they're probably not hooking

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Speaker 10: up again they're divorced. But if you want a new relationship,

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Speaker 10: if you want that, like I have a new alfo cousband,

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Speaker 10: I'm getting married on Saturday and thank you, and we're

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Speaker 10: not expecting the baby of our.

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Speaker 4: Own, so like we're going out holidays.

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Speaker 10: Well he doesn't want my ex at Christmas more, you

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Speaker 10: know what I mean. Like it's okay to move on.

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Speaker 10: It's okay to do it with boundaries and do it

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Speaker 10: with respect. But yeah, no, if you are divorced, you

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Speaker 10: give up certain things. That's part of the deal.

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Speaker 2: Okay, But that's about the adults. Like, let's talk about

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Speaker 2: the kids for a second. Wouldn't it be nice if

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Speaker 2: there's a way that the kids could still have some

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Speaker 2: semblance of their mom and dad functioning and getting along

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Speaker 2: together and not in the same fashion, but just because

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Speaker 2: they don't sleep together anymore, and just because they're not

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Speaker 2: romantically in love anymore. And it's rare, but wouldn't it

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Speaker 2: be something to show your kids that, like, hey, we

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Speaker 2: can break up and not be together, but we can

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Speaker 2: we still care about one another because we made you.

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Speaker 2: And I know this is all kind of Hallmark fanciful,

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Speaker 2: but we want you to have as normal of an

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Speaker 2: upbringing as possible, and it doesn't have to be negatively

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Speaker 2: affected because we don't want to be together anymore.

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Speaker 10: It's very true. And that's why if we like go

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Speaker 10: to a baseball game, we all sit together. If we

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Speaker 10: go to a band concert at school, we do parent

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Speaker 10: teacher conferences together. As far as like daily life, we

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Speaker 10: do that together. But you know, big things like they

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Speaker 10: kid because I think I think about again, they're going

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Speaker 10: to be adults some day, They're going to navigate things

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Speaker 10: on their own. And I also think about, like my

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Speaker 10: ex husband has remarried, he has a new wife. I'm

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Speaker 10: getting remarried. It's about the kids, but it's about everyone

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Speaker 10: moving forward in a way that's respectful and helpful and again,

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Speaker 10: I also think. I mean, my kids were babies when

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Speaker 10: we got divorced, right, but like we wanted them to

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Speaker 10: know this is how it is, right, so we drew

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Speaker 10: very clear lines. But like'll stop buying sometimes like a

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Speaker 10: hall like pop buy on Christmas and say hey for

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Speaker 10: like fifteen minutes on his way somewhere, but he doesn't

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Speaker 10: like come and sit down for Christmas dinner.

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Speaker 2: So you say, desolutely clear, Kelly, you're saying a trip

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Speaker 2: to hedonism is out of the question, then absolutely, Yeah.

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Speaker 10: I mean if we're going to what is a sitirist about, Like.

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Speaker 1: No, that's not where I'm doing. Oh I okay, so

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Speaker 1: that would be that would be it. I got it.

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Speaker 1: That makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much, and congratulations with everything you got

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Speaker 2: going on. Have a good day.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to be balanced her.

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Speaker 2: It seems like most people texting and calling think that

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Speaker 2: this is this is actually something that should be celebrated.

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Speaker 1: But then there are some people like Victoria.

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Speaker 2: You don't you don't like this the idea that X

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Speaker 2: ex husband ex wife with kids traveling together when they

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Speaker 2: each have partners of their own, it's not cool.

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Speaker 11: Yeah, no, I disagree.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, I think there's definitely just boundaries. I think you

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Speaker 10: can one hundred percent have a healthy co parenting relationship

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Speaker 10: without doing something as intimate.

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Speaker 1: As a vacation.

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Speaker 11: Go have a birthday party together for the kids, go

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Speaker 11: to school events. But I just think a vacation is

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Speaker 11: very intimate, and I don't think it's necessary to to

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Speaker 11: prove that you have that type of relationship with your

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Speaker 11: ex just to go on like vacation and stuff. There's

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Speaker 11: other ways to show that you have a good co

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Speaker 11: parenting relationship.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so there's something in the middle, then there's something

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Speaker 2: like it doesn't have to be getting on a plane

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Speaker 2: and going somewhere. It's more like dinners and movies and

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Speaker 2: local activities, sporting events.

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Speaker 1: Would have absolutely, Yes, exactly, fair, Victoria, that's a good day.

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Speaker 1: You too, glad you called.

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Speaker 2: I mean, look, I would agree that if that's going

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Speaker 2: to be a long term relationship, then they've got to

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Speaker 2: find a way that everybody's comfortable. But that I immediately

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Speaker 2: jumped to someone that you vet.

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Speaker 1: A trying to radio down aial.

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Speaker 11: I did, I did?

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Speaker 4: Hi?

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Speaker 1: What did you? I give you a final word in

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Speaker 1: stay or go? What do you think I think stay?

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Speaker 4: I have this type of relationship with my kid's father,

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Speaker 4: and I think to eat their own. If it works

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Speaker 4: for them, then that that it works for them. I've

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Speaker 4: been in this for almost four years. He's been single,

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Speaker 4: I've been single. We've plent We've taken plenty of family

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Speaker 4: trips together and nothing happens. There have been chances, but

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Speaker 4: we don't act on it because we're not involved in

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Speaker 4: like to that anymore.

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Speaker 1: So it's just about the kids.

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Speaker 4: We love taking trips with the kids.

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Speaker 1: And I actually have my third.

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Speaker 4: Child with someone else, so and he treats them like

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Speaker 4: his own. But yeah, everything is really platonic and we

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Speaker 4: plan family trips all the time together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well good are you Ariel? Thank you have a

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Speaker 1: good day.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, absolutely you too.

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Speaker 1: Another problem solved?

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Speaker 4: Or was it?

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Speaker 1: I think you actually solved this one? I think so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you think so?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 7: Good co parents? Is who have put in the keys first?

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Speaker 7: When two people can actually put their kids first. If

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Speaker 7: it's a bad relationship, somebody's not putting the kids first.

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Speaker 7: So you know what if they can go out of

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Speaker 7: town and you know

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Speaker 2: Keep a cue, Hey, maybe the kids want to want

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Speaker 2: their parents to get it on, you know, and they

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Speaker 2: probably are