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Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hello, Khalila Holt, don't scare me like that. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: my god. Welcome to the studio.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: So now that we find ourselves at our new home

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Speaker 1: at Pushkin Industries.

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Speaker 2: Like you're reading it for the first time.

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Speaker 1: We're celebrating some of our past accomplishments in the form

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Speaker 1: of encore presentations. Encore Ravisimo. Today we're going to be

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Speaker 1: listening to the very first Heavyweight. Yeah, an episode called

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Speaker 1: Buzz and it's.

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Speaker 2: An episode that's personal to you.

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Speaker 1: It's spoiler alert, Sorry, yes it is. It is Buzz

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Speaker 1: is my father.

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Speaker 2: I really enjoy your dad. Whenever I get to hear

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Speaker 2: from him, it warms my heart.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's so nice. Yeah, my father has well I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to say that my wife married me because

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Speaker 1: of my father, but I'm sure it didn't hurt because

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Speaker 1: she's a very big Columbo fan Peter Falk, and my

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Speaker 1: father sounds a lot like he's of that generation. In fact,

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Speaker 1: he would have grown up in Brooklyn around the same

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Speaker 1: time as Peter Falk. But anyway, Yeah, this was the

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Speaker 1: blueprint for Heavyweight. And it was out of this episode

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Speaker 1: that I thought maybe I could use my powers of

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Speaker 1: interlocution to help others as I was helping my family,

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Speaker 1: why not spread the wealth?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you thought I'm so good at this that I

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Speaker 2: got to do more.

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Speaker 1: When you have mammoth gifts like that, I mean you

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Speaker 1: have a responsibility to share it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So well, without further ado.

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Speaker 2: Let's listen to the episode and stick around after for

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Speaker 2: an update from your dad.

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Speaker 1: But first, oh, but first, a word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: Thank you sponsors, Miss Holt.

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Speaker 1: Before you go, if I could just ask you one

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Speaker 1: more thing. That's very interesting that you wear combs Ye

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Speaker 1: from Gimblet Media. This is Jonathan Goldstein, your old pal.

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Speaker 3: Is that is that was called Gimblet Gimblet Media.

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Speaker 1: That's correct. It sounds like giblets, the inside of a chicken,

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Speaker 1: like all the innerds. Well, everybody loves giblets.

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Speaker 3: You, oh ship, they're my kids.

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Speaker 1: Hey guys, I'm up here. Do you know what my

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Speaker 1: new podcast is about. I know, I don't know anything

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Speaker 1: about it. Each week, I travel into people's pasts to

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Speaker 1: help them repair something that's been troubling them.

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Speaker 4: M hmm.

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Speaker 1: I'm sort of like a therapist, like a therapist, So yeah,

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Speaker 1: do you find out? Do you find that funny? I supportive.

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Speaker 1: That's the laughter of support.

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Speaker 4: I think it's great.

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Speaker 5: I think it's great.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any questions for me about what my

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Speaker 1: show is and what it's going to be, Like, what's

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Speaker 1: the name of your show?

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Speaker 4: What's the name of your show?

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Speaker 1: Yes, we're gonna go now, but Johnson's just about tell

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Speaker 1: me the name of his new show. As soon as

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Speaker 1: he tells me, I'm going to bang down on him

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Speaker 1: in five.

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Speaker 4: Remember to do that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, to hang up the phone on each other. Okay, ready, Yes,

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Speaker 1: the name of the show is Heavyweight, Heavyweight, you get it?

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Speaker 6: Two one.

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Speaker 3: Hello.

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Speaker 1: Hello from Gimblet Media. I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is

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Speaker 1: Heavyweight Today's episode.

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Speaker 7: Buzz.

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Speaker 4: Hello, Hey Dad, Hi Johnny.

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Speaker 1: Hey, how you doing good?

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Speaker 4: You good?

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Speaker 1: Good?

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Speaker 4: Good? Yum Tivova, what's that?

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure? This is my father, Buzz. I'm calling

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Speaker 1: him at his home in Montreal. And the reason we're

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Speaker 1: talking crazy talk is because it's young Kipper the Jewish

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Speaker 1: day of Atonement, which seems as good a day as

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Speaker 1: any to talk with him about forgiveness. So I wanted

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Speaker 1: to I wanted to ask you something and I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to gauge your interest. Yeah, how would you feel

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Speaker 1: about paying your brother Sheldon a visit.

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Speaker 4: I have no feelings, die, I'm not really interested.

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Speaker 1: You're not no. My father, Buzz is eighty and his brother, Sheldon,

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Speaker 1: his only sibling, is eighty five, and for the past

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Speaker 1: forty years they've pretty much been on the outs. My

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Speaker 1: father lives in Montreal and Sheldon lives in Florida, and

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Speaker 1: the last time they saw each other over twenty years ago,

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Speaker 1: was at their mother's funeral when they had a fight

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Speaker 1: over the details of the arrangements. Since then, they've hardly spoken.

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Speaker 1: It worries me because there's no not a lot of

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Speaker 1: time left, and I don't want my father to have regrets.

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Speaker 1: When the subject of his brother comes up, as it

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Speaker 1: often has over the years, my father feels competing things.

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Speaker 1: He grows angry or defensive, but other times he'll become

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Speaker 1: sad and remorseful. And it's the sorrow and the remorse

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Speaker 1: that I like best, because it's these feelings that I

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Speaker 1: believe speak to his better self, the self I want

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Speaker 1: to encourage. I'm not surprised that you're not jumping at

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Speaker 1: the idea, but I'm a little surprised that yours against

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Speaker 1: the idea Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Time's passed. He hasn't shown much interest, so I'm respecting

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Speaker 4: that and I leave alone.

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Speaker 1: What he did do was he he called you on

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Speaker 1: your eightieth birthday not so long ago, and you.

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Speaker 4: Felt good about it to him on his eightieth birthday.

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Speaker 1: This kind of tit for tat accounting is what always

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Speaker 1: gets in the way. There's been a competition between the

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Speaker 1: brothers since I was a kid. I remember how in

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Speaker 1: my grandmother's small New York kitchen, Sheldon and Buzz got

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Speaker 1: into an argument who could do the most push ups,

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Speaker 1: and the next thing I knew, my father was pulling

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Speaker 1: off his shirt and dropping to the kitchen floor in

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Speaker 1: his undershirt. My mother, not used to seeing the side

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Speaker 1: of him, stood over my father, flapping a dishtowel hysterically

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Speaker 1: while begging him to the point of tears to please stop.

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Speaker 1: Now you go, my father said, rising from the floor

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Speaker 1: when he was done. But Sheldon shook his head with

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Speaker 1: a smile. It was like he didn't even think my

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Speaker 1: father was worth the effort.

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Speaker 4: You know what it is at this point with him,

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Speaker 4: I'll tell you what it is. I don't think it's

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Speaker 4: even anger. He's past anger, and he's passed any feelings

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Speaker 4: of animosity. He's passed that. He just doesn't care. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: you know that's apathy. I mean, sometimes at least hate

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Speaker 4: or love their emotions. Apathy is nothing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what.

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Speaker 4: Johnny as a child, even when I was ten, when

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Speaker 4: I was nine, and I was crazy about him. We

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Speaker 4: had a great you know, I loved him. He was

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Speaker 4: the older brother.

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Speaker 1: He was hello, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm listening.

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Speaker 4: Uh, you know. I just looked up to him, and

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Speaker 4: he had older friends. Sometimes he'd take me along with

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Speaker 4: him and he was good. Hey, somebody trying to somebody

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Speaker 4: trying to call here, binging.

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Speaker 1: Me here, don't you see, Buzz? It's father time? Who

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Speaker 1: is bringing you here? And Buzz loses track of time.

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Speaker 1: Air Conditioners remain boxed all through July, and expired coupons

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Speaker 1: from the mid nineties make plump his wallet, So I

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Speaker 1: worry he'll put off reaching out to Sheldon until it's

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Speaker 1: too late. The most complicated question, the one I keep

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Speaker 1: coming back to, is how did the bad blood begin?

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Speaker 1: And there are many versions. An ill fated trip to Montreal,

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Speaker 1: where Sheldon felt slighted about having to stay in my

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Speaker 1: father's basement, an ill fated trip to New York, where

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Speaker 1: my father felt slighted about having to stay in Sheldon's

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Speaker 1: attic rude word spoken to each other's wives. In one

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Speaker 1: version of the story, Sheldon's refusal to bring a table

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Speaker 1: to my brisk almost resulted in my being circumcised on

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Speaker 1: an ironing board. But in the version being told today,

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Speaker 1: my father was asked by Sheldon to pay more than

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Speaker 1: his fair share for their mother's funeral, and I.

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Speaker 4: Said, you always working some kind of an angle. So

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Speaker 4: he got furious. He got furious. He started screaming into

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Speaker 4: the phone, go to hell, drop dead, bah bah bayh.

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Speaker 4: And was that was how that ended. But I feel

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Speaker 4: he's the kind of guy that the gun. He has

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Speaker 4: angles like that, you know, he has angles. I always

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Speaker 4: felt I was on the up and up with him

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Speaker 4: and he wasn't with me.

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Speaker 1: If you've got a stronger sense that he was interested

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Speaker 1: in seeing you, then would you.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yes, you would be my g I wouldn't play

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Speaker 4: the house though, that's out of the question.

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Speaker 1: Okay, quick sidebar. Anytime I've ever raised the prospect of

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Speaker 1: visiting Sheldon, no matter how hypothetical the scenario, my father

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Speaker 1: always makes a point of insisting how no matter what,

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Speaker 1: he would not stay in Sheldon's house, even if he

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Speaker 1: was invited to, which I should point out he never is.

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't stay at his house. How come you I

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Speaker 4: wouldn't stay there? I mean, not my thing?

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Speaker 1: How come you always bring that up? I mean, normally,

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Speaker 1: when someone goes to visit someone that they haven't seen

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Speaker 1: in decades, don't stay at a hotel, you.

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Speaker 4: Know, I would stay at a motel or somewhere near hetel.

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Speaker 8: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, we'd get a place, you know, with an ice machine.

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Speaker 4: And uh, you know why you want to You're interested

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Speaker 4: in making a trip.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm interested. Do you think that there's anything

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Speaker 1: to be gained in seeing him?

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Speaker 3: Hm?

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Speaker 4: I guess there's something. Then, you know, you share your

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Speaker 4: common experience and talk about the old days, and there

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Speaker 4: are things that only he and I I can remember,

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Speaker 4: you know, yeah, you know you What you could do

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Speaker 4: is you could call him and see what what what

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Speaker 4: what his attitude is? You know, it depends on you,

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Speaker 4: know how how, how how you feel, what kind of

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Speaker 4: receptions you get?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I would. I would be happy to

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 4: I like your initial suggestion that you call him feel

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Speaker 4: him out and see what he's like.

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Speaker 1: Okay. I didn't suggest that, but you you suggested that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I like that just because you'll give me an

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Speaker 4: honest you'll give me an honest reaction.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to do it. But I mean, what, what

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Speaker 1: what are you looking for from? From? What do you

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Speaker 1: want to hear from him?

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Speaker 4: I missed my brother. I would like to see him. Okay,

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Speaker 4: that's all. Okay, you understand, and you come back on

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Speaker 4: me with an honest evaluation.

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Speaker 9: Hello, Sheldon, Yeah, speaking hi that it was quite a

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Speaker 9: shock getting your phone call, you said, Johnath. Yeah, my

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Speaker 9: hearing is not that great, okay. And when I heard

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Speaker 9: the first message, I'm saying, who the heck is that?

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Speaker 9: I don't know anybody by that name.

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Speaker 1: Sheldon now lives outside of Fort Lauderdale, but my few

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Speaker 1: memories of him are from when he lived in upstate

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Speaker 1: New York. I remember he lived in a trailer. I

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Speaker 1: remember that he worked at a local prison, that he

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Speaker 1: smoked cigars, that he looked a little like my father,

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Speaker 1: but was hunched, like the world was weighing down on him.

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Speaker 1: And he always wore this expression on his face that

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Speaker 1: seemed to say, you gotta be kidding me. You're keeping okay,

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Speaker 1: you're keeping occupied.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, I read a lot. I going to gym. I

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Speaker 9: go shopping. Hi, you know, here and there, little things

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Speaker 9: here and there, and so.

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Speaker 1: You still go. How often you go to.

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Speaker 9: The gym three times a week?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 1: And what kind of stuff do you do there?

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Speaker 7: Well?

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Speaker 9: I do about twenty minutes of aerobics, uh huh, and

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Speaker 9: then I do a little weight training. I try to

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Speaker 9: flirt a little with the women there.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my father also goes to the gym. That's

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Speaker 1: a part of his routine. Also, he was happy to

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Speaker 1: hear from you on his eightieth birthday.

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Speaker 8: Yeah.

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Speaker 9: Well he didn't call me on my eighty fifth though.

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Speaker 1: Tit meet tat Yeah, like, so, you know, maybe we

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Speaker 1: could go out for dinner. I don't know that kind

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Speaker 1: of thing.

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Speaker 9: Uh huh. Well, what kind of time frame are we

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Speaker 9: talking about here?

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Speaker 7: I don't know.

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Speaker 10: Our lives have been much different. I don't know how

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Speaker 10: much we have to have in common anymore.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, we don't have We don't have much in common

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Speaker 7: anymore except the fact that we're elderly and retired.

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Speaker 3: Other than that, I.

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Speaker 10: Don't know what we have in common.

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Speaker 1: You have your past in common?

248
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Speaker 10: Yes, I'll tell you honestly, I'm not a very sentimental person,

249
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Speaker 10: and I think, and I being a pragmatist, I take

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Speaker 10: things the way they are. I try not to dwell

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00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:09,010
Speaker 10: upon the past, and I try not to take people

252
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Speaker 10: the way I remember them, but as they are.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that makes things easier, makes.

254
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Speaker 10: Things easier for me?

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00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:28,490
Speaker 1: Yeah? Do other people around you? Sometimes? Doesn't make it

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Speaker 1: harder for other people around you ever.

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Speaker 10: To be honest with you, I've been in the last

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Speaker 10: few years, I've been a loner. You would basically almost

259
00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:49,730
Speaker 10: call me a recluse. I don't socialize with many people,

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Speaker 10: and I really don't give a damn what anybody thinks.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and.

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Speaker 10: Contrary to popular believe, I like being alone by myself.

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Speaker 3: I get along with myself. Well yeah, look, I don't

264
00:15:13,170 --> 00:15:16,170
Speaker 3: want to be rude. Yeah, yeah, but I want to

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Speaker 3: go have my lunch.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. It's fine, Sheldon. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate your talking to me, and you would be amenable

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Speaker 1: to spending some time.

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Speaker 10: Why not. We are brothers.

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Speaker 3: I mean, we're not closer or anything, but.

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Speaker 10: You know, we're not going to have a chance to

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Speaker 10: see each other much in the future.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is that anything that you think about.

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Speaker 3: Not much now.

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Speaker 1: And so I call my father back and let him

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Speaker 1: know that Sheldon is amenable. And because I know that

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Speaker 1: for my father the days tend to pile up like

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00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:06,210
Speaker 1: unboxed air conditioners, I have my mother get on the

279
00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:09,530
Speaker 1: phone to help nail down a firm travel date and

280
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Speaker 1: Dad he wants to go, if Dad wants to go,

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Speaker 1: if he wants.

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Speaker 4: To go next weekend.

283
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Speaker 1: We don't have to go on the weekend. We can

284
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Speaker 1: go during the week.

285
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Speaker 4: Yeah, comes, as you know, you caught me off. God,

286
00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:32,610
Speaker 4: how about it. I'll call you Wednesday or Thursday.

287
00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:36,090
Speaker 1: How's that today's Monday or yeah, or even if you

288
00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:37,650
Speaker 1: feel like calling tomorrow, you can call me.

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00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:46,770
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I'll probably I'll call you at the latest Thursday, to.

290
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:54,450
Speaker 1: Get the Thursday at the latest, that's three days from today. Okay,

291
00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:56,410
Speaker 1: all right, you do what you want to do.

292
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,050
Speaker 4: You call me, but I'll call you a Thursday.

293
00:16:59,370 --> 00:17:08,770
Speaker 1: Coming up after the break Thursday. And so on Thursday,

294
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:12,290
Speaker 1: possibly with a little nudging for my mother, Buzz agrees,

295
00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:15,850
Speaker 1: And then my father and I are off to Florida

296
00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:18,330
Speaker 1: to visit my uncle Sheldon too.

297
00:17:18,369 --> 00:17:22,090
Speaker 5: And then you have an address, Yeah, I do Okay.

298
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Speaker 1: My dad and I meet up at the Fort Lauderdale Airport.

299
00:17:25,409 --> 00:17:27,810
Speaker 1: I flew from New York and my dad from Montreal.

300
00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:31,049
Speaker 1: My father's all dressed up, wearing a faux Swaede sports

301
00:17:31,129 --> 00:17:33,850
Speaker 1: jacket that I've never seen him in. We grab our

302
00:17:33,889 --> 00:17:36,409
Speaker 1: airport rental and prepare for the two hour drive to

303
00:17:36,449 --> 00:17:40,090
Speaker 1: Sheldon in the ninety degree heat. It's immediately made clear

304
00:17:40,169 --> 00:17:43,369
Speaker 1: that faux swayed might not have been the best fashioned choice.

305
00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:45,409
Speaker 5: It's like we're on a safariy.

306
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:50,769
Speaker 1: You on the road to Sheldon's. My father will experience

307
00:17:50,889 --> 00:17:54,850
Speaker 1: a spectrum of feelings as we first set out. There's excitement.

308
00:17:55,209 --> 00:17:57,290
Speaker 5: You know, my brother was funny in a lot of ways.

309
00:17:57,490 --> 00:17:58,050
Speaker 4: I could laugh.

310
00:17:58,090 --> 00:18:00,609
Speaker 5: We're gonna have laughed with him, you know what I mean.

311
00:18:00,649 --> 00:18:01,970
Speaker 5: He's a very funny man.

312
00:18:02,609 --> 00:18:04,889
Speaker 1: A half an hour in and there's bitterness.

313
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:08,449
Speaker 11: We invited him to your baments and he returned a

314
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:13,729
Speaker 11: very cold calld. Sorry we will not be attending, you know,

315
00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:17,410
Speaker 11: so mean, you know what I mean? Even the writing.

316
00:18:19,369 --> 00:18:21,409
Speaker 1: An hour in and how is Buzz feeling?

317
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:22,609
Speaker 4: I'm relaxed.

318
00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:25,169
Speaker 5: I'm kind of old to get anxious, you know what

319
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:25,570
Speaker 5: I mean?

320
00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:27,970
Speaker 1: Half an hour to Sheldon's a.

321
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,010
Speaker 5: Little bit apprehensive.

322
00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:38,330
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, ten minutes to Sheldon's and buzzes feeling all right, Yeah,

323
00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:39,690
Speaker 1: he's feeling a little.

324
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Speaker 5: Uh No, it's gonna be strange.

325
00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:45,850
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's gonna be very strange. I mean the man

326
00:18:45,889 --> 00:18:47,969
Speaker 6: is a stranger to me now, and yet he's my brother.

327
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Speaker 8: You understand.

328
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Speaker 6: It's a very strange feeling.

329
00:18:51,169 --> 00:18:53,249
Speaker 1: Yeah.

330
00:18:53,649 --> 00:18:58,489
Speaker 6: I wonder if he's getting nervous, maybe because he's waiting

331
00:18:58,490 --> 00:19:10,210
Speaker 6: for us, right, yeah, yell set yeah.

332
00:19:11,129 --> 00:19:14,850
Speaker 1: Oh it's hot, it's really hot. Sheldon lives in the

333
00:19:14,889 --> 00:19:18,570
Speaker 1: corner house on a quiet suburban street ring the bell.

334
00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:22,889
Speaker 8: I guess is this his door?

335
00:19:24,169 --> 00:19:26,210
Speaker 1: I'll double check maybe because there.

336
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:41,650
Speaker 12: Is, Yeah, thank you, I smell the good smell of cigar.

337
00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:46,330
Speaker 8: There had become a monk may.

338
00:19:46,290 --> 00:19:50,769
Speaker 1: And after all the years and the worry and the dread,

339
00:19:51,129 --> 00:19:53,929
Speaker 1: things seem to be going swimmingly. We sit down at

340
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:57,010
Speaker 1: Sheldon's kitchen table and my father gets right into it.

341
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,809
Speaker 8: Now, there's things I want to know.

342
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:01,090
Speaker 5: You said that Rainy died.

343
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:05,409
Speaker 1: The dead are a good place to begin as a subject.

344
00:20:05,449 --> 00:20:08,609
Speaker 1: They're easily agreed upon and not likely to spark a fight.

345
00:20:09,169 --> 00:20:13,210
Speaker 8: The uncle died, The uncle died. He was the youngest brother. Oh,

346
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:14,530
Speaker 8: he died long ago.

347
00:20:14,649 --> 00:20:15,169
Speaker 1: He died.

348
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:19,810
Speaker 8: Oh you know who died, real prick.

349
00:20:20,129 --> 00:20:23,210
Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't know him that well, he didn't know Yeah, yeah.

350
00:20:25,169 --> 00:20:25,810
Speaker 1: Nish.

351
00:20:27,050 --> 00:20:29,210
Speaker 8: Shocking. Yeah he was fat.

352
00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:30,609
Speaker 1: He was fat, red head.

353
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:34,850
Speaker 8: Red head right, yeah yeah.

354
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:37,290
Speaker 5: Remember remember Johnny, Johnny was a sax man.

355
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:40,529
Speaker 8: Ye, Johnny, he would fuck a dog on the street

356
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,010
Speaker 8: if you sort of dog. He tried to fuck the dog.

357
00:20:49,129 --> 00:20:51,169
Speaker 8: Can I get you guys a cold beer?

358
00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:53,770
Speaker 5: I'd like a beer, olive beer.

359
00:20:54,369 --> 00:20:57,129
Speaker 1: Even though they're in their eighties, Sheldon and buzz Stop

360
00:20:57,129 --> 00:21:01,850
Speaker 1: possessed voices and temperaments suited to shouting out Brooklyn tenement windows. Well,

361
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:05,850
Speaker 1: my voice, olive beer is best suited to asking a

362
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:11,250
Speaker 1: waitress if there will be a sharing charge. I forgot

363
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:11,689
Speaker 1: about that.

364
00:21:11,810 --> 00:21:12,129
Speaker 8: Sorry.

365
00:21:12,449 --> 00:21:16,010
Speaker 1: Case in point this is Sheldon accidentally swiping a portable

366
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:19,249
Speaker 1: microphone receiver off the kitchen table and me trying to

367
00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:20,210
Speaker 1: smooth things over.

368
00:21:20,970 --> 00:21:22,490
Speaker 8: This off. Well, it's annoying.

369
00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:24,970
Speaker 1: You just put it in the in your pocket there.

370
00:21:25,490 --> 00:21:27,770
Speaker 8: Just take it off, please, thank you.

371
00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:31,689
Speaker 1: Over the next couple of days, my testes will flee

372
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:36,330
Speaker 1: like frightened cockroaches, upward, ascending to heights not seen since

373
00:21:36,369 --> 00:21:41,250
Speaker 1: the bar Mitzvah that Sheldon was not attending. And while

374
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:44,889
Speaker 1: we're on the subject of testes, here's Sheldon reminiscing about

375
00:21:44,889 --> 00:21:47,249
Speaker 1: the time he was examined for a rupture by their

376
00:21:47,290 --> 00:21:48,090
Speaker 1: family doctor.

377
00:21:48,609 --> 00:21:52,410
Speaker 8: Me and Wilie Rosen were joining the weightlifting Yep, say

378
00:21:52,449 --> 00:21:55,530
Speaker 8: you how to be tested for a rupture? Hey, I

379
00:21:55,570 --> 00:21:59,490
Speaker 8: remem being put his hand onto my balls. I started

380
00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:02,409
Speaker 8: left and so hot, I pissed right in his hand.

381
00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:07,450
Speaker 4: Hey.

382
00:22:08,290 --> 00:22:10,409
Speaker 1: Over the years, I've seen my father in the role

383
00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:13,770
Speaker 1: of husband, uncle, and grandfather, but I've never really seen

384
00:22:13,810 --> 00:22:16,290
Speaker 1: him in the role of younger brother. How odd to

385
00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:19,489
Speaker 1: see it now at eighty he sits beside Sheldon with

386
00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:22,969
Speaker 1: this expression I've never seen on his face. It's wide eyed,

387
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:30,650
Speaker 1: sweet and deferential. But as the day wears on, Sheldon

388
00:22:30,689 --> 00:22:34,010
Speaker 1: and Buzz began to squabble over their memories, fighting over

389
00:22:34,090 --> 00:22:35,170
Speaker 1: every little detail.

390
00:22:35,570 --> 00:22:38,609
Speaker 5: Remember the hallabaloo we had with the diet, head diet.

391
00:22:38,810 --> 00:22:41,889
Speaker 5: That heavy set girl a manicurist. She was a head

392
00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:45,689
Speaker 5: dying manicurist. No, she was a head dying. Here's what happened.

393
00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:46,530
Speaker 5: She went over to Earth.

394
00:22:46,570 --> 00:22:48,729
Speaker 1: They even argue over the death of their grandmother.

395
00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:53,609
Speaker 5: I have found her body. My mother was across the

396
00:22:53,609 --> 00:22:57,090
Speaker 5: street a Greenborough. I remember walk and I knew she

397
00:22:57,169 --> 00:22:59,890
Speaker 5: was dead. I never saw a dead body of my life,

398
00:22:59,889 --> 00:23:00,850
Speaker 5: but I knew she was dead.

399
00:23:02,770 --> 00:23:05,929
Speaker 1: Sure, so wait till you found her, or you found her.

400
00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:07,689
Speaker 5: I remember looking in on the room and see how

401
00:23:08,010 --> 00:23:10,450
Speaker 5: I said it was awfully I found them.

402
00:23:10,449 --> 00:23:14,530
Speaker 8: But let him no, I'm not some credit.

403
00:23:18,770 --> 00:23:22,250
Speaker 1: The whole afternoon is like this. Every subject, even their

404
00:23:22,290 --> 00:23:26,369
Speaker 1: dead grandmother, somehow becomes fodder for another pissing match. They're

405
00:23:26,369 --> 00:23:29,009
Speaker 1: burning up all this time with small talk, when what

406
00:23:29,050 --> 00:23:32,690
Speaker 1: they need is some big talk. In particular, they need

407
00:23:32,730 --> 00:23:34,609
Speaker 1: to address a story that I know who. It's a

408
00:23:34,609 --> 00:23:37,570
Speaker 1: great deal of meaning for my father. It took place

409
00:23:37,609 --> 00:23:40,330
Speaker 1: in nineteen thirty nine, on the day their mother left them.

410
00:23:40,810 --> 00:23:43,730
Speaker 1: I've only ever heard the story from my father, never

411
00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:47,050
Speaker 1: from Sheldon. I wanted to ask what you remember, what

412
00:23:47,129 --> 00:23:48,090
Speaker 1: your perspective?

413
00:23:48,770 --> 00:23:53,090
Speaker 8: Well, I remember that time was when Pop was smacking

414
00:23:53,169 --> 00:23:55,650
Speaker 8: Iran and she ran out in the hole in her

415
00:23:55,770 --> 00:24:01,369
Speaker 8: slip fighting in the hole, he was smacking around. She

416
00:24:01,530 --> 00:24:03,649
Speaker 8: ran out. Yeah, so what happened the next morning?

417
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:08,330
Speaker 5: The next morning, Yeah, look in a closet, her clothes

418
00:24:08,369 --> 00:24:10,050
Speaker 5: were gone.

419
00:24:10,290 --> 00:24:15,169
Speaker 1: Oh, what happened? After this, and my father's telling is

420
00:24:15,169 --> 00:24:17,929
Speaker 1: that his mother returned soon after she left with a

421
00:24:17,929 --> 00:24:19,169
Speaker 1: policeman in tow.

422
00:24:19,369 --> 00:24:21,850
Speaker 5: And they came back to try to get you.

423
00:24:22,010 --> 00:24:27,170
Speaker 8: They wanted you to come back with them, and where

424
00:24:27,209 --> 00:24:29,889
Speaker 8: were you? I was there, but they were trying to

425
00:24:29,970 --> 00:24:31,129
Speaker 8: drag you out of the house.

426
00:24:33,050 --> 00:24:35,730
Speaker 5: You weren't trying to grin Now, no, no, I can say,

427
00:24:35,730 --> 00:24:37,570
Speaker 5: with my father and grandma.

428
00:24:37,290 --> 00:24:40,449
Speaker 1: And mother, this is the point of the story. For

429
00:24:40,570 --> 00:24:44,129
Speaker 1: my father, It proves once and for all how his

430
00:24:44,209 --> 00:24:48,050
Speaker 1: mother loved Sheldon more than she loved him. Sheldon didn't

431
00:24:48,090 --> 00:24:51,290
Speaker 1: move out with her, and after a year their mother returned,

432
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:54,490
Speaker 1: and together Buzz and Sheldon grew up under the same

433
00:24:54,570 --> 00:24:58,649
Speaker 1: roof in the same bedroom, often sleeping under the same blankets,

434
00:24:59,169 --> 00:25:02,409
Speaker 1: each knowing who the mother had chosen, and each having

435
00:25:02,409 --> 00:25:05,050
Speaker 1: to do their best to carry on and live life

436
00:25:05,369 --> 00:25:17,850
Speaker 1: with the burden of that knowledge. A couple times during

437
00:25:17,889 --> 00:25:20,409
Speaker 1: the day I asked them why they haven't spoken in

438
00:25:20,449 --> 00:25:24,010
Speaker 1: so long, and they both insist, maybe out of embarrassment,

439
00:25:24,409 --> 00:25:29,450
Speaker 1: that they do talk, just not often. But it isn't true.

440
00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:32,409
Speaker 1: In fact, my father learned of Sheldon's wife's death many

441
00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:36,729
Speaker 1: years after the fact, and then only from me. Sheldon's

442
00:25:36,770 --> 00:25:38,889
Speaker 1: daughter got in touch through Facebook and we made a

443
00:25:38,929 --> 00:25:41,010
Speaker 1: phone date where she caught me up on her life

444
00:25:41,090 --> 00:25:43,930
Speaker 1: in Sheldon's and a few nights later, while over at

445
00:25:43,970 --> 00:25:46,689
Speaker 1: my parents for dinner, I told my father of his

446
00:25:46,730 --> 00:25:49,570
Speaker 1: sister in law's death. There was a terrible look that

447
00:25:49,609 --> 00:25:53,409
Speaker 1: fell across his face, one of sadness, but something else too,

448
00:25:54,169 --> 00:25:57,810
Speaker 1: maybe shock over just how far he and Sheldon had drifted.

449
00:25:59,290 --> 00:26:05,810
Speaker 1: I found out about Judy, about her death, your wife.

450
00:26:06,050 --> 00:26:08,809
Speaker 8: I didn't know about it either until you told me. Yeah,

451
00:26:09,169 --> 00:26:13,609
Speaker 8: didn't I tell you? You didn't know about her? No, we

452
00:26:13,649 --> 00:26:24,970
Speaker 8: didn't know. We didn't know she was sick about two years. Yeah, Judy, Well,

453
00:26:25,010 --> 00:26:30,250
Speaker 8: when she got the diagnosis, she was already stage four.

454
00:26:32,689 --> 00:26:37,329
Speaker 8: What did I know about cancer? So the surgeon, so,

455
00:26:37,490 --> 00:26:40,409
Speaker 8: he said, So, I said, well, doctor, how did the

456
00:26:40,570 --> 00:26:43,249
Speaker 8: surgery go? I always show you. I went very well.

457
00:26:44,050 --> 00:26:49,369
Speaker 8: But the cancer is in her liver. Now, I was spreading.

458
00:26:50,050 --> 00:26:55,249
Speaker 8: I said, it's in he'll liver. I said what? And

459
00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:59,890
Speaker 8: on top of that, I'm driving home, I'm all fucked up,

460
00:26:59,929 --> 00:27:03,889
Speaker 8: and I'm Space style and my driver windows open, and

461
00:27:03,929 --> 00:27:07,130
Speaker 8: some kids pull up alongside me and flip a lit

462
00:27:07,290 --> 00:27:22,330
Speaker 8: cigarette into my car you know where I usually, I commented,

463
00:27:22,369 --> 00:27:25,730
Speaker 8: buy myself on the ball. They got a waitress there

464
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:29,570
Speaker 8: who always waits on me. He takes Cook.

465
00:27:29,449 --> 00:27:33,689
Speaker 1: Canady for dinner. Sheldon takes us to a local outback steakhouse.

466
00:27:34,090 --> 00:27:37,729
Speaker 1: As people walk by, he provides a running commentary of

467
00:27:37,810 --> 00:27:38,850
Speaker 1: an elderly couple.

468
00:27:39,169 --> 00:27:42,330
Speaker 8: Don't get like that couple. Whatever you did, it's time

469
00:27:42,409 --> 00:27:44,210
Speaker 8: for the execution.

470
00:27:44,050 --> 00:27:45,249
Speaker 1: Of an overweight couple.

471
00:27:48,570 --> 00:27:50,409
Speaker 8: People are fat.

472
00:27:51,209 --> 00:27:54,050
Speaker 1: It's as though he's sharpening his with readying it for

473
00:27:54,090 --> 00:27:57,609
Speaker 1: the main event. Teasing my dad about Canada.

474
00:27:57,970 --> 00:28:01,289
Speaker 8: I don't know how you could take Canada on your life.

475
00:28:01,730 --> 00:28:04,609
Speaker 5: So you got nice neighbors, it's nice, It's okay.

476
00:28:05,530 --> 00:28:05,889
Speaker 4: Uh.

477
00:28:06,050 --> 00:28:08,969
Speaker 8: I wasn't gonna say, you're living in the same.

478
00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:14,609
Speaker 11: Place about thirty five, thirty eight years something like that.

479
00:28:14,689 --> 00:28:17,170
Speaker 8: I'm happy here. Yeah. Yeah.

480
00:28:17,169 --> 00:28:19,689
Speaker 1: For my father, I know this is a touchy subject,

481
00:28:20,010 --> 00:28:22,729
Speaker 1: believing as he always has, that Sheldon looks down on

482
00:28:22,810 --> 00:28:25,609
Speaker 1: him for the dinkiness of his Canadian life and home.

483
00:28:26,169 --> 00:28:30,330
Speaker 1: It's like a constant reminder of just who is second best. Later,

484
00:28:30,449 --> 00:28:33,850
Speaker 1: my father will repeat Sheldon's words. You're still living in

485
00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:38,289
Speaker 1: that same place, He'll say, for how many years? But

486
00:28:38,450 --> 00:28:41,330
Speaker 1: just then I watch my father clench and unclench his

487
00:28:41,490 --> 00:28:44,289
Speaker 1: jaw as he does when he is brooding. I know

488
00:28:44,370 --> 00:28:46,729
Speaker 1: he's trying to take the high road, trying not to

489
00:28:46,810 --> 00:28:48,290
Speaker 1: ruin the evening what.

490
00:28:48,570 --> 00:28:51,650
Speaker 8: Two hundred dollars and thirty cent said, I kidd.

491
00:28:53,050 --> 00:28:56,209
Speaker 1: Sheldon invites us back to his place for cookies, but

492
00:28:56,290 --> 00:29:05,610
Speaker 1: my father says he isn't up for it. Thank you,

493
00:28:59,450 --> 00:29:09,930
Speaker 1: And as we walk through the restaurant parking to the car,

494
00:29:10,090 --> 00:29:13,850
Speaker 1: my father is silent. I find myself feeling protective of him.

495
00:29:14,250 --> 00:29:17,770
Speaker 1: After midnight, lying awake in our hotel, my father insisted

496
00:29:17,810 --> 00:29:20,450
Speaker 1: we stay at one. I lay in bed thinking about

497
00:29:20,490 --> 00:29:23,450
Speaker 1: that day in nineteen thirty nine when my grandmother came

498
00:29:23,490 --> 00:29:27,290
Speaker 1: back for Sheldon, not my father. For my father, not

499
00:29:27,330 --> 00:29:29,930
Speaker 1: only did it push him away from Sheldon, making him

500
00:29:29,930 --> 00:29:33,170
Speaker 1: feel jealous and resentful, but it also cast a shadow

501
00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:35,809
Speaker 1: over the rest of his life, causing him to always

502
00:29:35,810 --> 00:29:39,530
Speaker 1: feel passed over. He's mellowed with age, but as a kid,

503
00:29:39,690 --> 00:29:41,570
Speaker 1: I saw it come out in all kinds of ways,

504
00:29:42,130 --> 00:29:44,850
Speaker 1: always sensitive to slights, ready for a fight at the

505
00:29:44,850 --> 00:29:48,610
Speaker 1: smallest perceived defense. I wonder if there's a different way

506
00:29:48,650 --> 00:29:51,570
Speaker 1: for my father to see things, if there is the

507
00:29:51,650 --> 00:29:55,010
Speaker 1: only living person in this world who can help is Sheldon.

508
00:29:55,730 --> 00:29:59,209
Speaker 1: When their mom left, Sheldon was nine, my father five.

509
00:29:59,850 --> 00:30:04,450
Speaker 1: Sheldon would have understood a lot more than my father. Yesterday,

510
00:30:04,450 --> 00:30:06,610
Speaker 1: Buzz and Sheldon talked like a couple of kids who

511
00:30:06,690 --> 00:30:10,290
Speaker 1: used to play stickball in the old neighborhood. Today, if

512
00:30:10,290 --> 00:30:12,850
Speaker 1: me and my big fat meddling yap have any sway,

513
00:30:13,290 --> 00:30:16,090
Speaker 1: they'll have a chance to talk as men, as brothers

514
00:30:16,130 --> 00:30:30,130
Speaker 1: even because if not. Now when day two, this.

515
00:30:30,170 --> 00:30:33,450
Speaker 5: Is a damn good cigar, he well, Dominican Republican. They

516
00:30:33,530 --> 00:30:35,490
Speaker 5: make a damn good cigar in Dominical Republic.

517
00:30:35,890 --> 00:30:38,650
Speaker 1: Despite the difficulties of last night, the coin is flipped

518
00:30:38,650 --> 00:30:41,690
Speaker 1: back to the good side. Sheldon offers my father a cigar,

519
00:30:42,290 --> 00:30:46,330
Speaker 1: and with a cigar, some cigar talk, some pretty foul

520
00:30:46,370 --> 00:30:47,010
Speaker 1: cigar talk.

521
00:30:47,530 --> 00:30:51,170
Speaker 8: We're riding Mount Queens Boulevard. Johnny's in the back seat

522
00:30:51,290 --> 00:30:54,450
Speaker 8: with the whole He's got his naked ass up in

523
00:30:54,490 --> 00:30:58,170
Speaker 8: the air and he's hum Well, the funny thing is

524
00:30:58,250 --> 00:31:01,450
Speaker 8: we had to stop for a light and there's a

525
00:31:01,490 --> 00:31:04,650
Speaker 8: truck driver sitting in the cab bump high.

526
00:31:12,250 --> 00:31:14,729
Speaker 1: So if you guys missed each other, what do you

527
00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:15,410
Speaker 1: miss each other?

528
00:31:17,490 --> 00:31:23,290
Speaker 8: You know? He asked the weirdest question, what is he abroad?

529
00:31:23,530 --> 00:31:26,170
Speaker 1: No, I mean, I don't know. That's you know, eager

530
00:31:26,209 --> 00:31:28,610
Speaker 1: to prove to my uncle Sheldon that in spite of

531
00:31:28,650 --> 00:31:31,570
Speaker 1: the fact I'm wearing my wife's travel deodorant, I am

532
00:31:31,650 --> 00:31:34,570
Speaker 1: indeed not abroad. I allow them to return to more

533
00:31:34,610 --> 00:31:38,569
Speaker 1: pressing matters. They're prostates, that said Jesus.

534
00:31:38,570 --> 00:31:42,850
Speaker 8: He says, your prestate feels like the moon craters in there.

535
00:31:42,930 --> 00:31:47,050
Speaker 8: He said. I said, thank you, doctor, complimenting.

536
00:31:49,050 --> 00:31:51,090
Speaker 1: So if I could steer this away from the prostrates,

537
00:31:51,090 --> 00:31:54,410
Speaker 1: and so my father said that it's significant to him

538
00:31:54,530 --> 00:31:56,170
Speaker 1: to have come. What do you say?

539
00:31:56,410 --> 00:31:58,290
Speaker 8: I agree with whatever he said?

540
00:31:58,490 --> 00:31:59,570
Speaker 1: But what about you?

541
00:31:59,810 --> 00:32:02,809
Speaker 8: I said, I agree with whatever he said. Do you

542
00:32:02,850 --> 00:32:03,809
Speaker 8: want to written?

543
00:32:04,450 --> 00:32:07,529
Speaker 1: I know it feels like I'm getting a taste of

544
00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:11,410
Speaker 1: what growing up with Sheldon have been like. So again

545
00:32:11,890 --> 00:32:15,090
Speaker 1: I make my move. So I have some questions just

546
00:32:15,490 --> 00:32:18,489
Speaker 1: about because the stories that I know from my father.

547
00:32:18,690 --> 00:32:23,249
Speaker 1: But I'm curious what your take is because you were older,

548
00:32:23,410 --> 00:32:29,610
Speaker 1: do you remember what was going on when your mom

549
00:32:29,810 --> 00:32:33,610
Speaker 1: when your mother left? Originally like what, what?

550
00:32:33,730 --> 00:32:33,970
Speaker 8: Why?

551
00:32:34,170 --> 00:32:35,050
Speaker 1: And what was going on?

552
00:32:35,570 --> 00:32:39,250
Speaker 8: Didn't you cover this ground before yesterday?

553
00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:42,489
Speaker 1: But from my father's perspective, the way I understood it

554
00:32:42,530 --> 00:32:45,330
Speaker 1: was always you were the favorite. Did you did you

555
00:32:45,370 --> 00:32:50,290
Speaker 1: feel that way? At this point, Sheldon's face suddenly softens.

556
00:32:50,570 --> 00:32:53,330
Speaker 8: I always felt that I got the short end of

557
00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:53,890
Speaker 8: the stick.

558
00:32:54,090 --> 00:32:57,930
Speaker 5: Yeah, but you have You were kind of a favorite

559
00:32:57,930 --> 00:32:58,690
Speaker 5: with my mom.

560
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:03,490
Speaker 8: Yeah. Maybe with mom, of course maybe. Temperamentally we were

561
00:33:04,050 --> 00:33:08,850
Speaker 8: closer than I was with my father. My father never

562
00:33:09,170 --> 00:33:12,810
Speaker 8: a me spit. Did you ever get any money from

563
00:33:12,810 --> 00:33:17,890
Speaker 8: my father? I can't remember. You never got a line? Now,

564
00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:21,769
Speaker 8: I can't remember you never One time I sprained my

565
00:33:21,890 --> 00:33:25,370
Speaker 8: ankle so bad. That was that was terrible. I laid

566
00:33:25,370 --> 00:33:28,289
Speaker 8: in that bed my hand. He was He says to me,

567
00:33:28,530 --> 00:33:34,170
Speaker 8: you lazy bum. Yeah. Man, he went off on me

568
00:33:34,370 --> 00:33:34,890
Speaker 8: that time.

569
00:33:36,010 --> 00:33:39,770
Speaker 5: He took Sheldon once Sheldon happened to say the word fuck.

570
00:33:41,490 --> 00:33:45,930
Speaker 8: He came in with that fucking strap, swinging with.

571
00:33:46,050 --> 00:33:49,090
Speaker 5: The bucket, and you know, I can understand leaving a

572
00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:52,090
Speaker 5: feeling of resentment and dislike.

573
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:58,090
Speaker 8: Hey, yeah, that was his way of communicating with us.

574
00:33:58,090 --> 00:34:01,130
Speaker 8: Smack smack, and then what a way.

575
00:34:02,010 --> 00:34:03,730
Speaker 1: Yeah it was easier on you.

576
00:34:03,730 --> 00:34:07,330
Speaker 5: You think, Uh, it wasn't that easy. But he was

577
00:34:07,370 --> 00:34:08,610
Speaker 5: tough on Sheldon.

578
00:34:08,690 --> 00:34:10,930
Speaker 8: Was I know, Oh, you were closer to him than

579
00:34:10,970 --> 00:34:15,489
Speaker 8: I was a lot of things that went on. You

580
00:34:15,530 --> 00:34:18,810
Speaker 8: didn't understand really well it did going on, so you

581
00:34:18,850 --> 00:34:19,730
Speaker 8: had a different take.

582
00:34:20,250 --> 00:34:22,450
Speaker 1: Well, are you surprised.

583
00:34:21,930 --> 00:34:24,010
Speaker 8: By But I was a kid. I didn't understand it.

584
00:34:24,250 --> 00:34:26,490
Speaker 1: But you didn't know that Sheldon was getting it so bad.

585
00:34:29,810 --> 00:34:32,370
Speaker 1: In Buzz's telling, their father was always a more or

586
00:34:32,490 --> 00:34:37,170
Speaker 1: less benign, childish figure, incapable of expressing his feelings and

587
00:34:37,210 --> 00:34:40,730
Speaker 1: so given to temper tantrums. For Buzz, it was their

588
00:34:40,730 --> 00:34:43,330
Speaker 1: mother who was the manipulator, the woman who played the

589
00:34:43,330 --> 00:34:47,090
Speaker 1: brothers off each other. But hearing Sheldon's take, it sounds

590
00:34:47,130 --> 00:34:49,810
Speaker 1: like maybe their mother didn't come to take Sheldon because

591
00:34:49,810 --> 00:34:52,770
Speaker 1: she loved him best, but simply because he needed more

592
00:34:52,810 --> 00:35:03,890
Speaker 1: protecting from their father. For the first time during our trip,

593
00:35:04,210 --> 00:35:06,930
Speaker 1: I can see my father considering Sheldon's point of view,

594
00:35:07,410 --> 00:35:10,450
Speaker 1: actually taking it in. I know it's intense for him

595
00:35:10,770 --> 00:35:14,730
Speaker 1: because he can't even meet Sheldon's eyes. Instead, he looks

596
00:35:14,730 --> 00:35:17,170
Speaker 1: at me, addresses his comments to me.

597
00:35:18,050 --> 00:35:19,850
Speaker 5: You know, it said that my father had such a

598
00:35:19,890 --> 00:35:24,490
Speaker 5: negative impact on him, you know, just awful because he

599
00:35:24,530 --> 00:35:27,090
Speaker 5: had so much going for me. He was a wonderful son.

600
00:35:27,730 --> 00:35:30,450
Speaker 5: He worked hard, he was a good boy.

601
00:35:30,730 --> 00:35:34,090
Speaker 8: He went to school talking like I'm a failure in life. No,

602
00:35:34,330 --> 00:35:36,450
Speaker 8: you aren't a fail. That's what I'm saying.

603
00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:38,730
Speaker 5: You weren't a faith But all I'm saying is that

604
00:35:38,810 --> 00:35:40,890
Speaker 5: emotionally he left an impact on you.

605
00:35:41,810 --> 00:35:44,850
Speaker 8: It took a long time for me to get out

606
00:35:44,890 --> 00:35:50,850
Speaker 8: of that emotion. And now I'm at peace to myself.

607
00:35:52,050 --> 00:35:55,410
Speaker 8: I can talk about him and laugh about it. Yeah,

608
00:35:56,290 --> 00:36:02,090
Speaker 8: now I want peace quiet. I'm happy living by myself.

609
00:36:03,530 --> 00:36:04,970
Speaker 8: Are you lonely, Sheldon?

610
00:36:05,770 --> 00:36:06,850
Speaker 5: No? No.

611
00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:14,730
Speaker 1: The last time my father saw my grandfather in full health,

612
00:36:15,130 --> 00:36:18,530
Speaker 1: my dad was visiting from Canada. My grandfather asked my

613
00:36:18,570 --> 00:36:22,010
Speaker 1: father to drive him to the cemetery to visit his parents' grave,

614
00:36:22,650 --> 00:36:27,290
Speaker 1: and once there, my grandfather wept inconsolably. Later that day

615
00:36:27,330 --> 00:36:29,930
Speaker 1: he would succumb to a stroke and shortly after be

616
00:36:30,010 --> 00:36:33,210
Speaker 1: moved to a nursing home. With Sheldon being more local,

617
00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:36,730
Speaker 1: the burden of my grandfather's care fell mainly to Sheldon.

618
00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:39,850
Speaker 1: It seems like a lot of the family's burdens fell

619
00:36:39,890 --> 00:36:40,450
Speaker 1: to Sheldon.

620
00:36:41,050 --> 00:36:44,690
Speaker 5: They put a lot of responsibility on him, that my

621
00:36:44,850 --> 00:36:49,170
Speaker 5: dad should have been taking that responsibility and he shouldered that.

622
00:36:49,570 --> 00:36:51,810
Speaker 8: Well, who is going to take Carria, who is going

623
00:36:51,890 --> 00:36:54,890
Speaker 8: to take you to school? Meet you? I remember one

624
00:36:54,930 --> 00:36:57,690
Speaker 8: time I was later or something. You stood outside that

625
00:37:00,050 --> 00:37:04,970
Speaker 8: right I said, mousy, I'm here, I'm here. He was

626
00:37:05,010 --> 00:37:08,930
Speaker 8: good to meet a lot of times me. You know,

627
00:37:09,130 --> 00:37:10,850
Speaker 8: you were my older brother.

628
00:37:10,970 --> 00:37:12,810
Speaker 5: He used to knock the shit out of me sometimes,

629
00:37:12,850 --> 00:37:16,010
Speaker 5: but you know that's the way it is with brothers.

630
00:37:17,370 --> 00:37:20,570
Speaker 8: Well, yeah, I was good in some way some way

631
00:37:20,610 --> 00:37:22,410
Speaker 8: that I was mean? Who was not?

632
00:37:22,610 --> 00:37:23,090
Speaker 5: Who is not?

633
00:37:24,010 --> 00:37:24,490
Speaker 8: Who is not?

634
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:28,770
Speaker 1: So if you feel like you were compelled to see

635
00:37:28,770 --> 00:37:31,570
Speaker 1: each other now because you knew that, you know it's

636
00:37:31,610 --> 00:37:33,770
Speaker 1: an hour and never kind of thing, then it means

637
00:37:33,770 --> 00:37:36,570
Speaker 1: that it was important to you both right to see

638
00:37:36,610 --> 00:37:37,009
Speaker 1: each other.

639
00:37:40,650 --> 00:37:41,890
Speaker 8: You want to take that sure?

640
00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:47,569
Speaker 5: I'm easy answer, yes, yes, because we're not getting any younger.

641
00:37:47,570 --> 00:37:49,370
Speaker 5: I mean, what's down the road.

642
00:37:50,490 --> 00:37:51,890
Speaker 8: I'm eighty he's eighty five.

643
00:37:53,610 --> 00:37:55,770
Speaker 5: I mean because there was a lot of water under

644
00:37:55,770 --> 00:37:57,330
Speaker 5: the bridge and we want to close that bridge.

645
00:37:57,330 --> 00:37:57,529
Speaker 8: Now.

646
00:37:58,770 --> 00:38:00,690
Speaker 5: I want to feel easy. Now, I want to say,

647
00:38:00,730 --> 00:38:02,210
Speaker 5: now he's going to be eighty six, I want to

648
00:38:02,210 --> 00:38:04,730
Speaker 5: call him on his birthday and say happy birthday to him. Now,

649
00:38:04,810 --> 00:38:07,130
Speaker 5: I'm not going to stand any fucking ceremonies anymore.

650
00:38:08,090 --> 00:38:11,410
Speaker 1: As my father speaks as per his brother's example, dropping

651
00:38:11,530 --> 00:38:14,370
Speaker 1: f bombs like he's in a Guy Ritchie film. Sheldon

652
00:38:14,450 --> 00:38:17,890
Speaker 1: keeps his arms crossed and his eyes shut tight. He's

653
00:38:17,970 --> 00:38:21,010
Speaker 1: quiet for several seconds, and then he reaches out to

654
00:38:21,050 --> 00:38:21,770
Speaker 1: pet his cat.

655
00:38:22,170 --> 00:38:24,330
Speaker 8: Should I leave you at a cat in my will?

656
00:38:24,370 --> 00:38:25,770
Speaker 8: If anything happened.

657
00:38:25,810 --> 00:38:27,610
Speaker 5: If anything out, I'll take care of the cat.

658
00:38:28,290 --> 00:38:29,410
Speaker 8: I'll take care of the cat.

659
00:38:31,170 --> 00:38:32,610
Speaker 5: I'm happy I can't to see you.

660
00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:35,890
Speaker 8: That I am. I'm happy it came here. That's good,

661
00:38:36,170 --> 00:38:42,290
Speaker 8: very good. Wherever I want to buy a house.

662
00:38:45,450 --> 00:38:48,530
Speaker 1: When it's time to leave, Sheldon walks us outside, but

663
00:38:48,610 --> 00:38:51,210
Speaker 1: before we get into the rental, he points across the

664
00:38:51,290 --> 00:38:54,090
Speaker 1: lawn to his neighbor's house. He tells my father that

665
00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:56,930
Speaker 1: it's for sale, and then he tells him the asking price,

666
00:38:57,330 --> 00:38:59,650
Speaker 1: and my father says that doesn't sound bad at all,

667
00:39:00,130 --> 00:39:03,570
Speaker 1: and Sheldon says that, what with Canada being so bloody cold,

668
00:39:03,930 --> 00:39:07,050
Speaker 1: my father should consider moving to Florida, and my father

669
00:39:07,130 --> 00:39:11,290
Speaker 1: says maybe he will. They don't get too emotional, they

670
00:39:11,290 --> 00:39:15,130
Speaker 1: don't even hugo by. They just shake hands. And with that,

671
00:39:15,770 --> 00:39:18,770
Speaker 1: it feels like Buzz has forgiven Sheldon, and Sheldon has

672
00:39:18,810 --> 00:39:21,370
Speaker 1: forgiven Buzz all right.

673
00:39:21,410 --> 00:39:28,930
Speaker 8: You take care of sankot this. Thank you, Yeah, thank you,

674
00:39:29,370 --> 00:39:30,610
Speaker 8: we'll speak. I'll speak.

675
00:39:38,810 --> 00:39:41,010
Speaker 4: Turn right on northwest, mad for drawing.

676
00:39:41,010 --> 00:39:42,610
Speaker 8: Oh my god, it feels so different now.

677
00:39:43,970 --> 00:39:46,290
Speaker 5: Do you know that this has taken a lot off

678
00:39:46,330 --> 00:39:48,530
Speaker 5: my shoulders idea?

679
00:39:49,050 --> 00:39:53,650
Speaker 1: You know, as we ride to the airport, my father

680
00:39:53,730 --> 00:39:56,010
Speaker 1: says that the thought of Sheldon all alone in that

681
00:39:56,090 --> 00:39:59,650
Speaker 1: house with just a cat makes him sad. Do you

682
00:39:59,690 --> 00:40:03,050
Speaker 1: really think he isn't lonely? My father asks. I assure

683
00:40:03,090 --> 00:40:05,770
Speaker 1: him that Sheldon seems okay with being alone, But my

684
00:40:05,810 --> 00:40:09,570
Speaker 1: father doesn't seem so sure. After all these years, the

685
00:40:09,610 --> 00:40:12,090
Speaker 1: burden of having lost his brother has been replaced by

686
00:40:12,090 --> 00:40:15,049
Speaker 1: a new burden, one that might be heavier to bear

687
00:40:55,490 --> 00:41:05,250
Speaker 1: now that the Fernuers returned to its goodwill home, now that.

688
00:41:05,370 --> 00:41:08,969
Speaker 4: The last month's rent is skeeting.

689
00:41:08,730 --> 00:41:13,490
Speaker 1: With damage to pot take this moment to deced.

690
00:41:15,690 --> 00:41:24,850
Speaker 5: If we if we too felt from from the.

691
00:41:24,930 --> 00:41:31,890
Speaker 1: Things an accident And so you know why I wanted

692
00:41:31,890 --> 00:41:32,450
Speaker 1: to talk to you.

693
00:41:32,850 --> 00:41:35,970
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know you wanted to talk to me, but

694
00:41:36,050 --> 00:41:38,650
Speaker 5: you know about what I have no idea.

695
00:41:39,170 --> 00:41:41,810
Speaker 1: So I wanted to revisit. Do you remember the story

696
00:41:41,810 --> 00:41:44,690
Speaker 1: that I made about you and your brother? Sheldon.

697
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:45,490
Speaker 8: Sure.

698
00:41:46,010 --> 00:41:49,890
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, back then you were in your I think

699
00:41:49,970 --> 00:41:53,210
Speaker 1: you were eighty and I think Sheldon was eighty four

700
00:41:53,650 --> 00:41:54,530
Speaker 1: or eighty.

701
00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:57,090
Speaker 5: Five, right right right, Yeah, I was eighty.

702
00:41:58,450 --> 00:42:04,250
Speaker 1: You just turned ninety Yeah, yeah, December. Did you get

703
00:42:04,570 --> 00:42:05,850
Speaker 1: a phone call from Sheldon?

704
00:42:06,490 --> 00:42:10,330
Speaker 5: Yes, I did, of course. Oh yeah, he welcomed me

705
00:42:10,410 --> 00:42:11,450
Speaker 5: into the Big nine.

706
00:42:11,530 --> 00:42:11,650
Speaker 3: Oh.

707
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:14,090
Speaker 5: He'll be ninety five in July.

708
00:42:15,170 --> 00:42:18,210
Speaker 1: So do you guys talk on all of your birthdays?

709
00:42:18,210 --> 00:42:21,330
Speaker 1: Are just on the big one birthday? Every birthday?

710
00:42:21,410 --> 00:42:24,530
Speaker 5: I call him, he calls me, yeah, and we talk

711
00:42:24,610 --> 00:42:25,050
Speaker 5: a little bit.

712
00:42:25,170 --> 00:42:26,450
Speaker 4: Yeah, we just talk.

713
00:42:27,450 --> 00:42:29,610
Speaker 1: So what do you guys talk about? Would you talk

714
00:42:29,610 --> 00:42:31,730
Speaker 1: about when he called you up for your ninetieth.

715
00:42:31,730 --> 00:42:34,450
Speaker 5: How he's feeling. Does he still go out to eat?

716
00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:37,009
Speaker 5: Does he still drive a car? Is you know things

717
00:42:37,090 --> 00:42:39,890
Speaker 5: like that? Is he getting around and he goes out?

718
00:42:39,930 --> 00:42:42,210
Speaker 5: He's got got the steakhouse that he goes to. It's

719
00:42:42,250 --> 00:42:47,170
Speaker 5: like the outback, the outback, and he goes, hey, he

720
00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:50,690
Speaker 5: has his seat or stool and yeah.

721
00:42:51,130 --> 00:42:53,250
Speaker 1: Does he still smoke his cigars and drink beer?

722
00:42:53,370 --> 00:42:55,250
Speaker 5: Oh? You know, he said he stopped that because he

723
00:42:55,330 --> 00:42:57,890
Speaker 5: developed a cough, so he stopped.

724
00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:04,210
Speaker 1: Even though you know, you only speak to Sheldon a

725
00:43:04,250 --> 00:43:06,690
Speaker 1: couple times a year. Do you feel like your life

726
00:43:06,730 --> 00:43:09,010
Speaker 1: is enriched by having him in it?

727
00:43:10,130 --> 00:43:16,570
Speaker 5: Yes, He's important to me in a lot of many ways. Yeah,

728
00:43:17,010 --> 00:43:19,450
Speaker 5: I feel he's my mortality. In other words, as long

729
00:43:19,450 --> 00:43:23,050
Speaker 5: as he lives, I'm okay, if do you understand that. Yeah,

730
00:43:23,170 --> 00:43:25,370
Speaker 5: it's like this is a bond we have in a

731
00:43:25,410 --> 00:43:27,770
Speaker 5: certain way, that we have this long life, and it's

732
00:43:27,850 --> 00:43:29,650
Speaker 5: kind of a gift and it's kind of a magic

733
00:43:29,730 --> 00:43:33,930
Speaker 5: to it. As long as he keeps on living, I'm okay. Wow,

734
00:43:34,050 --> 00:43:36,530
Speaker 5: you know, he's ninety five. I can go yet, you know,

735
00:43:37,170 --> 00:43:38,210
Speaker 5: a few more years.

736
00:43:57,970 --> 00:44:01,810
Speaker 1: Thanks to everyone who helped put this episode together, We'll

737
00:44:01,810 --> 00:44:06,010
Speaker 1: be back next week with another encore presentation of Heavyweight,

738
00:44:06,370 --> 00:44:36,330
Speaker 1: and with it, another update from our guest