WEBVTT - Whine About It: The D-Word

0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:07.360
<v Speaker 1>Wine Down with Janet Kramer and iHeartRadio podcast. All Right,

0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:11.000
<v Speaker 1>so on this week's Wine About It Thursday Therapy, We've

0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:14.480
<v Speaker 1>got His name is Phil Yagoda. So he's a retired

0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Wall Street executive who has been happily married for twenty

0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:19.599
<v Speaker 1>five years. Has created a website he hopes will be

0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:22.560
<v Speaker 1>a top destination for people going through divorces and breakups.

0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Phil Yagoda spent more than two decades on Wall Street,

0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:28.400
<v Speaker 1>including a stint as a managing director at a bank.

0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:32.199
<v Speaker 1>He launched The Exit in December with content focus on

0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:35.279
<v Speaker 1>what couples can expect to encounter emotionally and financially during

0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:39.000
<v Speaker 1>a divorce, and how to navigate the often painful twists

0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:42.840
<v Speaker 1>and turns. Let's get him up, Okay. I am so

0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:46.880
<v Speaker 1>excited to have you on because I really can could

0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:50.519
<v Speaker 1>have used this website about two years ago when I

0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:53.280
<v Speaker 1>was going through my divorce. But I'm just when I

0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:55.800
<v Speaker 1>was reading the breakdown, I was like, wait a minute,

0:00:56.160 --> 0:01:00.880
<v Speaker 1>married guy twenty five years he is doing you know

0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:04.040
<v Speaker 1>this this website called the Exit dot com. So I'm curious.

0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:07.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I know you've experienced probably through friends and family,

0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:12.759
<v Speaker 1>but have you experienced a divorce personally, No, Um, honestly,

0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:16.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm one of the lucky ones. I found my best friend,

0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:21.840
<v Speaker 1>my soulmate, my rock, my everything, um, twenty five years

0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.120
<v Speaker 1>ago and we've been together ever since. Um, fact, we

0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:30.320
<v Speaker 1>just had our engagement anniversary. I'm the one who remembers. Okay,

0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:33.440
<v Speaker 1>that's really cute that a guy remember is an engagement anniversary,

0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:35.399
<v Speaker 1>because I don't know many guys that would remember that

0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:39.280
<v Speaker 1>at all. Yeah. My wife's like, all right, enough, it's

0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:42.000
<v Speaker 1>not a real anniversary, but to me, to me, it

0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:44.319
<v Speaker 1>really is. It's, um, you know, the day that you

0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:46.840
<v Speaker 1>kind of came together. And I was like, that was

0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:50.160
<v Speaker 1>one of the most nervous days I ever had, because

0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:53.560
<v Speaker 1>up to that point, you know, you're just young, you're

0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:58.000
<v Speaker 1>going out, you're doing whatever, and you know you want

0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:00.120
<v Speaker 1>to settle down with the girl your dreams, and you

0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.760
<v Speaker 1>hope she said yes. In fact, it was really cold

0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:04.120
<v Speaker 1>and she took a couple of minutes. I was like,

0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:08.239
<v Speaker 1>all right, either say yes or no. But how old

0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:13.040
<v Speaker 1>were you when you got engaged. I was twenty four, Okay,

0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:16.040
<v Speaker 1>so young, which is actually, you know, amazing that you

0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.120
<v Speaker 1>guys are still married to this day too, because I

0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:20.919
<v Speaker 1>feel like a lot of young marriages could potentially also

0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:25.480
<v Speaker 1>end in divorce. Yeah, I mean, I think when when

0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:29.200
<v Speaker 1>you look at marriages from any different standpoint, you basically

0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.959
<v Speaker 1>you're taking two people from two different backgrounds, from two

0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:35.799
<v Speaker 1>different states. In this situation, I was from New York,

0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:38.959
<v Speaker 1>she's from Atlanta. Um. You know, two different sets of parents,

0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:43.360
<v Speaker 1>two different sets of growing up like everything that shapes you. Um,

0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:47.240
<v Speaker 1>you went to different schools, different whatever. Um. And to

0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.280
<v Speaker 1>be able to stay together through all that really is

0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:54.160
<v Speaker 1>as it's a real fat I'm not to say like

0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:57.799
<v Speaker 1>it's always been great times you have or whatever, but

0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.040
<v Speaker 1>that's part of any relationship for sure. So how did

0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:03.359
<v Speaker 1>the exit come about them? If this is something that's

0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:05.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you seem to be in a very happy,

0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:09.200
<v Speaker 1>happy marriage and you know, for the last twenty five years,

0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:12.480
<v Speaker 1>So how did this idea even like come to fruition?

0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:18.239
<v Speaker 1>So in my prior life, I was a Wall Street guy,

0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, it was very good math, all that kind

0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:24.480
<v Speaker 1>of stuff, and really always was there to help people.

0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.920
<v Speaker 1>And I get a lot of phone calls from friends, family,

0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.240
<v Speaker 1>and there was one in particular that this person called

0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:35.680
<v Speaker 1>and I was about to walk into a meeting and

0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:37.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, hey, you know, Mark, I gotta play it back,

0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.280
<v Speaker 1>and he's like, no, no, you don't understand. She said

0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.520
<v Speaker 1>she wants a divorce. I'm like, all right, that's horrible.

0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.880
<v Speaker 1>But I'm literally like walking into this thing. I gotta

0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:50.000
<v Speaker 1>call you back, giving an hour, hour and a half.

0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:53.320
<v Speaker 1>Just look on the internet. Each state's different, and I'll

0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:57.360
<v Speaker 1>play back two minutes later. Like now I'm already in

0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.320
<v Speaker 1>this conference room. He calls again. He's like, there is

0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:04.080
<v Speaker 1>nothing on the internet. There's only divorced lawyer ads. I'm like,

0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:06.680
<v Speaker 1>I got to call it back. Let me just step

0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.400
<v Speaker 1>through this. Later on that day when I got back

0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:13.520
<v Speaker 1>to my office, and even that night, you know, kept

0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:15.480
<v Speaker 1>kind of resonating in my head what he said, and

0:04:15.520 --> 0:04:18.080
<v Speaker 1>I went online. I'm like, oh my god, there really

0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:22.400
<v Speaker 1>is nothing out there that's going to give you all

0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:27.920
<v Speaker 1>the information that you would really need when you're going

0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:32.280
<v Speaker 1>through something like this, which a lot of people would say,

0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:34.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's kind of the toughest times in their lives.

0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:38.800
<v Speaker 1>You would think that there would be more information out

0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:41.719
<v Speaker 1>there for something that affects fifty percent of the population.

0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:45.360
<v Speaker 1>So it's it was kind of didn't really make sense

0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:50.279
<v Speaker 1>to me. And so I went to a company kind

0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.200
<v Speaker 1>of had them kind of scrub the internet see if

0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:55.200
<v Speaker 1>I was wrong, I'm like missing something, I'd do whatever,

0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:57.680
<v Speaker 1>and it came back. There was nothing out there like

0:04:57.760 --> 0:05:00.320
<v Speaker 1>this where there's a kind of like the web MD

0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:03.520
<v Speaker 1>of health, but this is the web D of like divorce,

0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.120
<v Speaker 1>where you still can you can go, you can try

0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.440
<v Speaker 1>and find out as much information and you can. Again,

0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:10.640
<v Speaker 1>everyone's situation is different, so it can be a low

0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:14.039
<v Speaker 1>generic in different areas, and so you always should go

0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:18.880
<v Speaker 1>and seek help from a professional. But that being said,

0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, in terms of having one place that's going

0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:24.479
<v Speaker 1>to have so much information you still it's kind of

0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.719
<v Speaker 1>like with web MD you can help diagnose yourself. You

0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:29.520
<v Speaker 1>still have to go to Mayo Clinic to get the surgery,

0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:31.919
<v Speaker 1>you still have to go to an attorney to get divorced.

0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:36.200
<v Speaker 1>But this is something that will hopefully give people the

0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:40.000
<v Speaker 1>most amount of information where they can not just survive

0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:43.400
<v Speaker 1>through this, but hopefully strive. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm

0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:45.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, looking at the site and stuff. You know,

0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:47.479
<v Speaker 1>one of the things is breakup plans. So when you

0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:51.320
<v Speaker 1>go to it, it's like there's articles like how divorce

0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:55.479
<v Speaker 1>mediation can save you time, money, and emotional stress. There's

0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:57.760
<v Speaker 1>a pet custody plan, how excess you know, keep their

0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:00.920
<v Speaker 1>pet pop happy? How to find the best divorce attorney

0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.680
<v Speaker 1>for you? Can you diy divorce? It might be easier

0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:06.560
<v Speaker 1>than you think. And then you have other articles you

0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:09.359
<v Speaker 1>know about name changes, which lord, that is like the

0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:13.400
<v Speaker 1>most stressful. I've done it one too many times, the

0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:17.600
<v Speaker 1>name change thing. It's just like it's stressful. But you know,

0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:20.520
<v Speaker 1>are these articles written? Are these things that you've just

0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:22.360
<v Speaker 1>gotten from the internet. Are this someone that kind of

0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:27.200
<v Speaker 1>works in the exit? No? Actually, so we have a

0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:31.640
<v Speaker 1>diverse group of writers who are professionals on and basically

0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:34.919
<v Speaker 1>experts in the field that which they're writing on, and

0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.240
<v Speaker 1>or are their professionals who are published who we go

0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.600
<v Speaker 1>out and commission to go and write articles based on

0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:44.400
<v Speaker 1>what most people are searching for on the internet. And

0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:47.760
<v Speaker 1>they go in the interview doctors, lawyers, you know, countance,

0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:54.159
<v Speaker 1>mental health and wellness experts, because that is something that's

0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.400
<v Speaker 1>very important to me to make sure that people stay

0:06:56.960 --> 0:07:00.560
<v Speaker 1>as sane as possible through this. I try to tell

0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:03.080
<v Speaker 1>people like, look at like Ted Lasso in a way, right,

0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:08.599
<v Speaker 1>like look it stinks now, yeah, but it will. You

0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:11.360
<v Speaker 1>will get through it. It will get better, and you

0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:14.920
<v Speaker 1>just have to mentally be prepared to you know, face

0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:16.920
<v Speaker 1>some situations. I mean, look, if you're not getting along

0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:20.240
<v Speaker 1>that marriage, going through divorcees is going to be you know,

0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:23.240
<v Speaker 1>even more stressful and difficult sometimes between the two parties.

0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:27.720
<v Speaker 1>And so you know, try and advise people. Hey, there's

0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:29.560
<v Speaker 1>two ways to do it. It could be as confrontational

0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:33.440
<v Speaker 1>as possible, or you know, try and try and do

0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.720
<v Speaker 1>it the right way. Like you know, try and have

0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.400
<v Speaker 1>as much I try to do with as much class

0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.560
<v Speaker 1>as possible, because everything you do now will affect you

0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:44.960
<v Speaker 1>later on. Right, you're always going to have a relationship

0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:47.720
<v Speaker 1>with this person, especially of kids. But whether you own

0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:51.840
<v Speaker 1>something together, whether um, you know you have to sell assets,

0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:54.200
<v Speaker 1>buy different things, back, do whatever you have to do

0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:59.200
<v Speaker 1>within your relationship. You will come into contact with this

0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:01.560
<v Speaker 1>person again. So just do it, you know, just do

0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.240
<v Speaker 1>it the way you can. Yeah, and you also have

0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.560
<v Speaker 1>a UM so there's breakup, planned finances, children, health and

0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:08.720
<v Speaker 1>moving on. And you know under the children one which

0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:11.120
<v Speaker 1>I share with my acts, I've got to two kids

0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:13.720
<v Speaker 1>and um, you know you have a co parenting advice.

0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:15.960
<v Speaker 1>How to make the transition between households easier of her

0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:19.520
<v Speaker 1>parents and kids. I mean, this is all really helpful

0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:22.040
<v Speaker 1>things like how to manage vacations with your kids in X.

0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:24.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean that's just these are all things that I

0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:28.480
<v Speaker 1>would have loved to have had. Um right going going

0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.880
<v Speaker 1>through mine, and um, I love that you're hitting on

0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:34.760
<v Speaker 1>all you you also hit on there's a domestic abuse

0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:38.199
<v Speaker 1>story in there. I mean, this is all it's it's

0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:44.000
<v Speaker 1>hitting every um emotion and every also every step right

0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.800
<v Speaker 1>that you have to go through. And UM, I'm curious

0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:50.160
<v Speaker 1>to do partner with any any therapy places for the

0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:55.240
<v Speaker 1>moving on step. Yeah. So the only I guess affiliate

0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:58.360
<v Speaker 1>partnership i'd say we have is with divorce dot com. Okay, Um,

0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:02.000
<v Speaker 1>basically if someone can do it on their own, you know, look,

0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.240
<v Speaker 1>divorce is very expensive and so if you have a

0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.960
<v Speaker 1>non high you know it's not a high complict or

0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:09.600
<v Speaker 1>a non conflict divorce, and you can do this. Divorce

0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:13.480
<v Speaker 1>dot com to us is you know one wait, what

0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:15.719
<v Speaker 1>is divorce dot com? Is it just like is that

0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.240
<v Speaker 1>its own lawyer? Can you kind of do it like

0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:21.640
<v Speaker 1>a like a tax turbo almost you know, you can

0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:23.160
<v Speaker 1>look at it almost like a legal zoom in a

0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:28.200
<v Speaker 1>way where um, they'll provide you based on a certain yes,

0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:35.480
<v Speaker 1>pricing structure, the information and and documents that you need

0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:37.600
<v Speaker 1>to fill out for them to either follow for you

0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.920
<v Speaker 1>or based again on the different levels. Um, you know,

0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:42.920
<v Speaker 1>if you want to speak with an attorney or if

0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:46.000
<v Speaker 1>it's something you really can do on your own. Um,

0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:49.040
<v Speaker 1>there's like I guess an ala carte menu, but they

0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.440
<v Speaker 1>really are great and I have done a great job

0:09:51.440 --> 0:10:07.800
<v Speaker 1>and have done many many Um. Divorces online. Interesting, Okay,

0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:11.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious. Have people come to you and started asking

0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.080
<v Speaker 1>you questions about divorce like you're almost a lawyer or

0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:18.280
<v Speaker 1>someone that It's like, Hey, for example, like my X

0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.520
<v Speaker 1>and I, we didn't have a prenup and then you know,

0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:22.880
<v Speaker 1>and then I made him sign a post and up.

0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:24.360
<v Speaker 1>But then I found out later that what it doesn't

0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:25.920
<v Speaker 1>really hold up more in court. So I'm like, well, what,

0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.640
<v Speaker 1>like why did I even have him signed it? And

0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:30.120
<v Speaker 1>so there's things that I you know, I would I

0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:33.440
<v Speaker 1>would probably I'm sure people will be asking you to

0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:38.360
<v Speaker 1>go well, like like you're almost a lawyer or something. Yeah. Again,

0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:41.400
<v Speaker 1>at the end of the day, everyone's situation is different,

0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:44.360
<v Speaker 1>whether it's financial or legal. I mean even the states

0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:47.960
<v Speaker 1>that you live in, whether it's common common law, or

0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:52.320
<v Speaker 1>community property. I mean, every every state is different. But yeah,

0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:57.240
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people have either sent in questions, called up,

0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.520
<v Speaker 1>find you on the street. It's it's it's kind of

0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.560
<v Speaker 1>all encompassing. But there's nothing better than when you feel

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.960
<v Speaker 1>that you've actually tried to help someone. And in this

0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:14.719
<v Speaker 1>situation when again you're just there's always one person who's blindsided, right,

0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.000
<v Speaker 1>even if you're going to therapy and doing whatever. Once

0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:19.480
<v Speaker 1>once you gets served, you're like, oh my god, what

0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:25.199
<v Speaker 1>just happened. That's the person who is usually so confused,

0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:28.720
<v Speaker 1>so scared. So I mean, I guess there's so many

0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:33.480
<v Speaker 1>emotions like they feel abandoned, lonely, helpless, worthless, I thank

0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:35.120
<v Speaker 1>all these different things. That's the other thing that we're

0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:37.680
<v Speaker 1>really trying to do with divorce. We're trying to basically

0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:41.120
<v Speaker 1>reposition it. You know, too many times now divorces looked

0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:43.480
<v Speaker 1>at it's almost like a taboo, and you know it.

0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I didn't come up with this, but someone once said

0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:50.560
<v Speaker 1>it's you know, sometimes a good divorce is better than

0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.440
<v Speaker 1>a bad marriage. And so if we can reposition the

0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.840
<v Speaker 1>divorce where it's not a failure, but it's an opportunity

0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:59.720
<v Speaker 1>to move on and have the life maybe that you wanted.

0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:03.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, everyone deserves a second chance and so and

0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:07.960
<v Speaker 1>sometimes third or fourth. But in any of these situations,

0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:11.880
<v Speaker 1>we want to be here to again guide people the

0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:15.040
<v Speaker 1>best that we possibly can so they can live that

0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.600
<v Speaker 1>life that they want. Sure, and it's got to feel great,

0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 1>like you said, to have people come up to you

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.280
<v Speaker 1>and be like, hey, this really helped me or you know,

0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:25.280
<v Speaker 1>get through and have the resources because like you said,

0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:29.280
<v Speaker 1>you can one off Google, you know what's better mediation

0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:34.040
<v Speaker 1>or whatever. But to have a layout of some amazing

0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.840
<v Speaker 1>articles for each step along the way, I mean, that's

0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:38.559
<v Speaker 1>got to feel really good to know that you're helping

0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:40.760
<v Speaker 1>people with that through a really through the hardest I mean,

0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:47.120
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't wish to divorce on my worst enemy. Yeah,

0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:49.680
<v Speaker 1>you know it really especially when you have children. Yeah,

0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:53.640
<v Speaker 1>there's so many different aspects that that these decisions affect.

0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:57.719
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes even when you have two xs that are

0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:01.120
<v Speaker 1>going at each other, you know, it could be anything

0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:04.959
<v Speaker 1>of like you can't use that other house right now, Well,

0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, the kids that's closer to where they need

0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:12.160
<v Speaker 1>to be. You know, whatever situation. Sometimes the spouses are

0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:14.400
<v Speaker 1>going at each other and it's affecting others, and it's

0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:17.600
<v Speaker 1>affecting those around you. Um, it could be your family,

0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:22.360
<v Speaker 1>your friends, your children, and so it really it does

0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:25.319
<v Speaker 1>feel great when you when you're trying to help someone

0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:27.560
<v Speaker 1>and if you can ease that burden at all, a

0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:31.720
<v Speaker 1>lot of times they'll have, you know, clearer decisions instead

0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:33.600
<v Speaker 1>of you know, when you're all foggy and you have

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.400
<v Speaker 1>so much stuff going on, Um, we can help them

0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.120
<v Speaker 1>kind of clear their head, kind of you know, be

0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:41.079
<v Speaker 1>a little bit myopic in terms of what you need

0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:44.600
<v Speaker 1>to do on your journey. Then I think it's really

0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:47.480
<v Speaker 1>going to be a success. And we have, um, you know,

0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:52.120
<v Speaker 1>even Laura Losser, who I don't know if you like, Yeah,

0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:55.320
<v Speaker 1>she's she's great and she's even an advisor to be

0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:59.520
<v Speaker 1>to the exit. So you know, it's great when you

0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:03.600
<v Speaker 1>have someone who really cares. I mean she she does.

0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.880
<v Speaker 1>I think she's great. She wrote this book once. It

0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:08.000
<v Speaker 1>doesn't have to be this way. Yep, you know, she

0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:11.280
<v Speaker 1>wants to see things work out, and I couldn't be

0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.320
<v Speaker 1>happier to have anyone working with us. But it's also

0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:17.480
<v Speaker 1>amazing when you see some people that really have had

0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 1>the means when you're going through this say wow, I

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:24.080
<v Speaker 1>wish I had this twenty years ago. But I want,

0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I hope this really gets going because at

0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:29.720
<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, I want to make sure

0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:33.320
<v Speaker 1>everyone who doesn't it doesn't have the ability to reach

0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:35.760
<v Speaker 1>out to an attorney every ten minutes when you know,

0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:37.920
<v Speaker 1>you get something else at different texts, at different whatever,

0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:41.440
<v Speaker 1>that that these people, that everyone out there has that

0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 1>same ability to help, you know, get through again what

0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:48.240
<v Speaker 1>you said something you wouldn't work, you wouldn't wish on

0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:51.360
<v Speaker 1>your worst worst enemies. Yeah, and even you know, just

0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:54.160
<v Speaker 1>some people don't have the support system that other people have,

0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:57.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, so to be able to or even have

0:14:57.200 --> 0:15:00.400
<v Speaker 1>the means to do therapy, sould be able to kind

0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:04.240
<v Speaker 1>of understand and validate people's feelings too during a really

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:09.000
<v Speaker 1>tough time. UM is a beautiful thing. That's actually where

0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:12.400
<v Speaker 1>we're going to be transitioning UM. You know with the site,

0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.720
<v Speaker 1>Like right now, we're really happy with I guess the

0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:17.600
<v Speaker 1>feedback has been incredible and we're really happy with the launch.

0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:20.360
<v Speaker 1>But you know, I really want to see the site

0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.800
<v Speaker 1>aside from you know, the content and all that that

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:25.840
<v Speaker 1>that we're providing. I also the next part I want

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.320
<v Speaker 1>to build out is community, because, like you said, a

0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:30.760
<v Speaker 1>lot of people don't have that that support system. Even

0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:32.720
<v Speaker 1>if you have a best friend and every time you're

0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.520
<v Speaker 1>going out, you're like, yeah, I see what Mark sent

0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 1>me today or marketed this or marketed or you know

0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:42.040
<v Speaker 1>whoever is using that name. I don't know it Mark,

0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:44.240
<v Speaker 1>just you know, I know many marks, but I'm not

0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:47.880
<v Speaker 1>saying one that's been divorced. Um. After a while, they're like, look,

0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:49.920
<v Speaker 1>if every time you go out, you're gonna bring this up,

0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:54.400
<v Speaker 1>like I can't take it. And so even your closest

0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.800
<v Speaker 1>friends sometimes can't be there for you. And so this

0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.840
<v Speaker 1>community part that I want to build about, I guess

0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:02.920
<v Speaker 1>we'll start more with like a blog type of thing

0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:06.080
<v Speaker 1>where people will have total anonymity where they can respond

0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:09.680
<v Speaker 1>and you know, here a difference opinions and questions that

0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:12.200
<v Speaker 1>will be posed. And then I want to I'm actually

0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.560
<v Speaker 1>starting to talk to someone about using an algorithm to

0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.520
<v Speaker 1>come up with pods where you know, if I'm a

0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.640
<v Speaker 1>twenty five year old who just got divorced with no kids,

0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:23.840
<v Speaker 1>obviously it's me a lot different than a fifty year

0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:25.840
<v Speaker 1>old with three kids. So you want people to be

0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:29.120
<v Speaker 1>able to be in pods where things they want to

0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.200
<v Speaker 1>discuss will be relevant to them. And if they're not

0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:34.960
<v Speaker 1>happy in that pod, we can you know, you can

0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:37.400
<v Speaker 1>get out and get into another one. Right, but again

0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:40.560
<v Speaker 1>with total anonymity and where you can just be yourself.

0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 1>I love that because even I mean I I had

0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:46.000
<v Speaker 1>a great support system, but sometimes there might be questions

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.800
<v Speaker 1>that you want to ask that or say, or even

0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:52.200
<v Speaker 1>just a voice that you might be embarrassed to say

0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:54.960
<v Speaker 1>or you don't um like. I know, for me, I

0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:59.560
<v Speaker 1>went like very inward and sometimes I then push people away.

0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:04.000
<v Speaker 1>So it's easier to just maybe write out feelings or

0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:07.080
<v Speaker 1>a comment toward to have other people to relate to

0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:08.560
<v Speaker 1>other people because at the time I was the only

0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:10.640
<v Speaker 1>one going through, you know, a divorce in my friend group.

0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:15.000
<v Speaker 1>Now there's a few, unfortunately, but you know, now I

0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:16.359
<v Speaker 1>kind of can be the voice to be like, I

0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:18.399
<v Speaker 1>promise you it gets better and you're gonna be okay

0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:20.359
<v Speaker 1>and you're not going to be alone forever. And I

0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:22.760
<v Speaker 1>think even just having like that support of other people

0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:24.840
<v Speaker 1>too in there will will be really nice for the

0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:27.640
<v Speaker 1>people that are like, you know, because that that's where

0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.879
<v Speaker 1>my dms blow up the most, is like they always say,

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:33.199
<v Speaker 1>am I ever going to be happy again? Am I

0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:34.640
<v Speaker 1>ever going to smile? Am I ever going to find

0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:36.879
<v Speaker 1>love again? And it's like, I just I know the

0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:40.000
<v Speaker 1>despair and the bottom where they're at. That's like there's

0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:43.120
<v Speaker 1>so much beauty outside of it. Just it just sucks

0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:45.199
<v Speaker 1>the first year like that, there's so many first and

0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:47.560
<v Speaker 1>that that first year is just really hard. And so

0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 1>to have you know, a place especially to start it,

0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:53.320
<v Speaker 1>it's like where do you start? Well, the exit, you know,

0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:55.840
<v Speaker 1>he starts the exit. So I just I love that.

0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.800
<v Speaker 1>Well one thing that I also want to start doing

0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:04.720
<v Speaker 1>there's basically giving people a way to get back out there, right,

0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.679
<v Speaker 1>So there's gonna be a lot more with dating and

0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:12.960
<v Speaker 1>you know dressing because look, I mean obviously my wardrobe

0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:15.320
<v Speaker 1>maybe different if I was you know, going out and

0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:17.720
<v Speaker 1>trying to you know, meet people all the time and

0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:21.480
<v Speaker 1>do whatever. Uh. I was having dinner with someone who

0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:24.399
<v Speaker 1>is it a major law firm and they were like,

0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, someone got divorced in my in my firm,

0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:30.720
<v Speaker 1>they can't to my office, and they said, what's like

0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:33.399
<v Speaker 1>the cool drink to order? Like I'm going out tonight

0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:34.920
<v Speaker 1>for the first time and I don't know how long

0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:43.000
<v Speaker 1>wine like exactly. I mean, it's like so it's right,

0:18:43.520 --> 0:18:46.520
<v Speaker 1>and so it's amazing that people like they really have

0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:52.399
<v Speaker 1>to start over. And what what I noticed was there's

0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:55.199
<v Speaker 1>so much always on the front end, right, you prepare

0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:58.639
<v Speaker 1>so much for one day when you're getting married, right,

0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.480
<v Speaker 1>whether it's cater or the flowers, the reception hall, the

0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:09.600
<v Speaker 1>church or or shoal or wherever you're gonna be. But

0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:13.520
<v Speaker 1>people don't take their time and look at their divorce,

0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:17.359
<v Speaker 1>which will affect them for the rest of their lives,

0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:21.560
<v Speaker 1>whether it's with assets or you know, just anything that

0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:25.200
<v Speaker 1>you're going to be that you had together. And so

0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:28.439
<v Speaker 1>you know, giving people that kind of comfort also is

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.600
<v Speaker 1>very important to us. Yeah, I love that. Well, Phil,

0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:33.520
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for everything you do. Everyone. If

0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:37.879
<v Speaker 1>you were, you know, going through that, We're sorry. Having

0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.960
<v Speaker 1>said that, there are places and this is this is

0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:44.320
<v Speaker 1>the place to go, the number one place, So the

0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:47.280
<v Speaker 1>Exit dot Com. You'll check it out and you'll find

0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:50.120
<v Speaker 1>some amazing resources and some great article articles that will

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.959
<v Speaker 1>help you through this time. And you are not alone.

0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:55.600
<v Speaker 1>And you will feel that very soon when they start

0:19:55.720 --> 0:20:01.000
<v Speaker 1>the new community tribe. Right, No one walks alone, yes, exactly,

0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:02.560
<v Speaker 1>no one walks alone. People have done it before you,

0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:04.040
<v Speaker 1>they'll do it after you, and then you get to

0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:07.399
<v Speaker 1>help them along the way. Well, everyone does need a

0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:11.200
<v Speaker 1>great exit, so there we do exactly. Thank you, Phil,

0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:13.320
<v Speaker 1>appreciate you, Thank you so much for having me