1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: My ex and I are divorcing. I banned his daughter 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: from living with me. 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 2: Oh double whammy. 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, get them all out of your life in one 5 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 1: fell swoop. This is to answer the question of our 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: breakups and divorces. Always expect it? 7 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 2: That's so sad. Yeah, a sad question. 8 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: Do they sometimes hit you out of nowhere? Who's to say, well, 9 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: they always expect? 10 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 3: Like, so anytime I get in a relationship, should I 11 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 3: always expect for them to break up with me? 12 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: No? More? Like, are you like you're experiencing a lot 13 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: of fighting and there's like red flags going on, and 14 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: you're like, oh, this relationship is head and you know 15 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 1: we're about to divorce. 16 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 2: Okay, you know, like you're. 17 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: Expecting it, not like you start a relationship and you're 18 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: like break up? 19 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 2: What what kind of question is this? 20 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: No? No, no, I don't know. I didn't have a 21 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: lot of time, so no move eighty three fifty seven 22 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: says my X and I are divorcing. Uh, my daughter 23 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: seventeen and I are in the process of moving stuff 24 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: into our new place. I got one of these moving 25 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: pods that's out in front of the old house, and 26 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 1: my stepdaughter fifteen started moving her stuff out to it. 27 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: I told her stop ouch, wait, oh, that's so sad. Wait. 28 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: So they started get their divorcing and Opie and her 29 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: daughter were moving the stuff out and the stepdaughter started helping, 30 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: and then OPI was like, no, you're not coming with. 31 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 2: That's so step fick' oh. 32 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,959 Speaker 1: I need to know how long this relationship had lasted. 33 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: That is really tough. At first, I thought she was 34 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: confused and thought it was for her and her mom's stuff. 35 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: The plan is for them to move back to my 36 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,839 Speaker 1: ex's home state. My stepdaughter wasn't confused about that though. 37 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: She thought for some reason that she could move with 38 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: me and my daughter to our new house in town. 39 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: So we got into a whole discussion about it. My 40 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: ex was involved. Turns out her daughter is very upset 41 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: about how having to move because she doesn't want to 42 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: leave her friends, her school and go to a place 43 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: that is so backwards. After talking, my ex said she 44 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: understood where she was coming from and asked me to 45 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: let her live with us at least during the school year. 46 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: First off, I think it would be weird for her 47 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: to live with us since her mom and I aren't 48 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 1: married anymore. It makes more sense for her to go 49 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: live where both her parents are. Logistically, it also presents 50 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: an issue because our new place is smaller than this one, 51 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: so she would have to share a bedroom with my daughter, 52 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: and I know my daughter would hate that, So it 53 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: doesn't seem fair to force that on her. Edit because 54 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: people keep asking, we got married about six years ago. 55 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: That's a long time time. My ex did also say 56 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,920 Speaker 1: she would pay for expenses. People, please stop suggesting I 57 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: get a bigger place. I just bought our new place. 58 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: I am not selling it and getting a different place six. 59 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 2: Years So she's been there since she was nine with 60 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 2: this person. 61 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,799 Speaker 1: I don't think it is necessarily a problem. I don't 62 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: think it. Opie is the a hole for not wanting 63 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: to do this. I don't think this is necessarily her responsibility. However, 64 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: I also looking like from the point of view of 65 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: the fifteen year old, that is really hard. That is, 66 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: that's a really hard thing to deal with. She's been 67 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: this has been her mother figure figure since she was nine, 68 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: and now she is being told that her parents are 69 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: splitting up. She has to move like states uh and 70 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: like leave all of her friends behind and her the 71 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: person like a girl that she's seen as her sister 72 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: behind as. 73 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 2: Well had a good time for. 74 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, okay, not the A hole for sure, but yeah, 75 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 3: angel or devil is my question? 76 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 2: Would you rather be the angel or a human? Maybe 77 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 2: not double, but. 78 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's definitely not the angel. 79 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: I would be the angel of the scenario. 80 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: That's the thing. Opie totally has a right to be like, 81 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: this is not legally my daughter. My ex wife has 82 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: a responsibility to her, and I shouldn't have to have 83 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: that responsibility. I think that Opie is, yeah, not the 84 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: a hole for that. It just like, is really sucky 85 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: for this poor fifteen year old to learn that this 86 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: man doesn't even you know, see her as a daughter anymore. Oh, 87 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: that is really auchi. It's really Auchi. Yeah. No, I 88 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: don't think he's the a hole. It's just a really 89 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: sucky situation and he's he's for sure not the angel. 90 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 2: Do you think he should be the angel? 91 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:42,600 Speaker 1: I think I think I would probably have a conversation 92 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: with my daughter and say, hey, would you be open 93 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: because it seems like he just kind of assumed that 94 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: she wouldn't like that. I would say, hey, would you 95 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: be open to sharing a room just for this year 96 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: or half the year, and if she's like super against it, 97 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: then that is I think an answer. But if she says, 98 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 1: you know what, you know, I want it, Like I'm 99 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: okay with being with my sister for you know, another year, 100 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,720 Speaker 1: just so she can keep going to school, I think 101 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: have a conversation with your daughter first before assuming things. 102 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 1: Either way, let's. 103 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 2: Say, ah, maybe get more confection. 104 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I need a little bit more context. There are 105 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:26,040 Speaker 1: irrelevant comments though. Shammy Danny says, not the a hole. 106 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,039 Speaker 1: Where did she get the idea that somehow she was 107 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: moving in with you? Opie says, it's more that she 108 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: thought it was an option. Her mom told her they 109 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: were moving back to her home state, which again, like 110 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: she's a fifteen year old who has seen this man 111 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: as her father for six years. I really don't fault her. 112 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: They should have had that conversation with her mom beforehand, 113 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 1: like they should. Yeah, they should have briefed this poor child. 114 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: Gamer green Eye says, not the a whole. It's normal 115 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: for a child that age to be upset about moving away. 116 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: Not your fault. Her mom should have talked it out 117 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: with her, and Opie says she did it. Seems like 118 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: she didn't do it effectively enough. 119 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 3: I think she did it, told her what was happening. Yeah, 120 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 3: the fifteen year old didn't want to accept it and 121 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 3: thought she could she. 122 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 2: Could, yeah, try and gig in. Yeah. 123 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: Yeah. Ah, this really is tough. Commoner says, not the 124 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 1: a hole. But she's known you since before she was nine, 125 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: assuming you didn't get married. That's so true within the 126 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: year of meeting her mom. Yeah, she probably knew her 127 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 1: before then if they were dating for a while. Oh, so, 128 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: it's normal. She feels close enough to you where she 129 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: thinks that's an option. You should talk to your daughter 130 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 1: to see if she would be comfortable with the situation. 131 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: Maybe your daughter feels sisterly enough where she would prefer 132 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: to share a bedroom then to be away from her stepsister. 133 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: And if your daughter is okay with sharing a room, 134 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: then talk to your ex to get the child support, 135 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: because that is not legally your child. And op responds, no, 136 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: my daughter definitely does not want to share her room. 137 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: She never grew that close to her stepsister. Okay, then 138 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: I think that is somewhat of an answer. It is 139 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: really it's still really hard, And then Commetter says, everyone 140 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: sucks here to be in a child's life from nine 141 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: to fifteen. It sounds like she probably views you as 142 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: her father. She didn't even question that she could continue 143 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: living with you. Has she been in contact with her 144 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: biofather if he's out of state? If not, it kind 145 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: of pivots You're the ahle. The more I read, the 146 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: more I kept reading that this girl is unwanted by 147 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: all her parental figures. Oh, Biodad is a quote unquote 148 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: pushover who lives States away. Mom says it's okay to 149 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: stay while she moves States away. Stepfather of most of 150 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: the girls of the child's Memorable life says, no, that 151 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 1: poor girl. I think it's strange after six years of 152 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: being your stepfather, you haven't connected to her at all. 153 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: And Opie responds her father does keep in contact and visits. 154 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: And then OPI responds to multiple questions on if his 155 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: daughter gets along with his soon to be ex's stepdaughter. 156 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 1: Opie says, they got along most of the time, but 157 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: my daughter never grew attached. And then Opie was asked 158 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: if he's willing to get a new place and let 159 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: his stepdaughter stay. Opie says, I am not willing to 160 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: sell my new place and get a new one. It 161 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: would be a waste of the real estate Commission. And 162 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: Opie on why's ex wife is moving back to her 163 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: home state and if the father is over there. Opie 164 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: says housing prices are too much for her. All their 165 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: families back in the state they're moving back to. Her 166 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: father does keep in contact and visits. Her father is 167 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: back in her mom's home state, and there is an update. 168 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: But yeah, this is I think. I think the answer 169 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: is that she just needs to move in with her 170 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 1: mom because it doesn't seem like he or his daughter 171 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: like it sucks. He seems amandian CB says he seems 172 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: very detached, which is what I'm reading into this. I 173 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: feel like there is something missing from the story. Uh 174 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: just but yeah maybe maybe yeah, maybe maybe their fallout 175 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: was not like the fall up in the relationship wasn't good. 176 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: I don't think that Opie has any responsibility to this girl. 177 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 1: I think it's just I am putting myself in her shoes, 178 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's really that's a really tough situation 179 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: for the fifteen year olds when when your when the 180 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: adult figures in your life are kind of you know, separating, 181 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 1: and you're wondering what where that leaves you. Yeah, this 182 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: is really this is really hard, but but there is 183 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: an update. What did you think though? Do you do 184 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: you think angel? Non angel? What's yours? 185 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 2: It is depending on how the divorce went. 186 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 3: I would be the angel. If the divorce went well 187 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 3: and it does seem like he's detached and I hate that. 188 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 3: The Yeah, the sister like it just didn't work out 189 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 3: and the family didn't work out. Yeah, it's so tough. 190 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 3: But the fifteen year old will have to like learn 191 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 3: how to be in a new state. Yeah, and if 192 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 3: the home life she's going to is worse, I would 193 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 3: try to try to keep her, you know, yeah, because 194 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 3: everything earlier they were like everything that she knows. 195 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 2: Is backwards there. Yeah, that would be really tough on 196 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,319 Speaker 2: someone going through this. 197 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 198 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 2: Uh uh. 199 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: Responsibility, Yeah, no, it's not as responsibility. It's literally just 200 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: like I am thinking about her and I feel bad. 201 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 1: Let's get into this update and find out more. So 202 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: I talked to my ex privately and she said she understood. 203 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: So we ended up getting together and having a talk 204 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 1: with her daughter to make sure things were very clear. 205 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 1: She was still very upset and ended up locking herself 206 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,959 Speaker 1: in her room. We thought we would give her some space. 207 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: But later on, though, there was some fighting between her 208 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 1: and my daughter, which was unusual because they haven't really 209 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,319 Speaker 1: fought before. In the end, I decided it would just 210 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 1: be easier if we moved out sooner than expected. We 211 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 1: might have to shuffle things around while we paint, and 212 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: we don't have all our stuff here yet. Despite that, 213 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: I think it's best. I think it's for the best. Overall. 214 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: It is a difficult, it is a less difficult and 215 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: awkward living situation. In a week or so, we should 216 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: be settled. And one comment to finish the story off 217 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: Amazing Reality twenty nine to eighty says, sounds like you 218 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: handled it as well as you could. And though the 219 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: current living situation is less convenient, it sounds like it's 220 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 1: better for everyone involved. Having to move and change schools 221 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: while in high school is different. But your stepdaughter will 222 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 1: adjust to her new home and make new friends. And 223 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,079 Speaker 1: this is to answer the question of our breakups and 224 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: divorces always expected, and it seems like it really wasn't 225 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:49,559 Speaker 1: expected for this daughter. 226 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 2: The villains story on this girl, Yeah go. 227 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: Crazy, youch man, youch Yeah. Ope, he's not the a hole, 228 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 1: just definitly not the angel, which I don't think he 229 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 1: necessarily has to be. It just sucks for his daughter, 230 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: for the daughter, actually not even his daughter. 231 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 2: I think. 232 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 1: I think I'm just like I guess I'm interested in 233 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: his relationship with this girl because he doesn't call, he 234 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: doesn't refer to her as his daughter or like you know. 235 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 2: He did, doesn't she'd be moving in. 236 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, doesn't mention whether or not she called him dad 237 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: or anything. I'd love to know a little bit more 238 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: about it, because it seems like they never really bonded, 239 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: or at least he never really bonded with her, nor 240 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 1: did his daughter bond with her, but she seems to 241 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: have developed a stronger attachment. Yeah. I don't know my own. 242 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: But that's the end of the story. And there is 243 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: another one, let's get into it. My dad sprung a 244 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 1: divorce on my mom and I don't know what to do. 245 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 1: And this is to answer the question, are divorces and 246 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: breakups always expected? 247 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 2: It sounds like the best prank ever. You never saw 248 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:05,839 Speaker 2: it coming. 249 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: She never saw it. Comment April Fools, you're divorced, so, 250 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,559 Speaker 1: lesbian writer twenty six twenty seven says I twenty one 251 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 1: female Live at home with my mom forty seven female 252 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 1: and dad fifty nine male. In the UK Hello Hello 253 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 1: that My dad works from home teaching online, and my 254 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: mom has her own small business that I work for 255 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 1: alongside her. My mom and dad have always been different 256 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 1: in the sense of heat is a complete towny and 257 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: my mom is a farmer's granddaughter, a country girl through 258 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: and through. His ideal holiday is going abroad, and my 259 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: mom's is camping and caravanning. 260 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 2: WHOA, look at you, that's you right there, it's me. 261 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 1: Even though they have different views slash preferences, they always 262 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 1: seem to have gotten along and loved each other. This morning, though, 263 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 1: my dad sat her down and said that he wanted 264 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: a divorce. I think it's always really surprising when one 265 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: person in that doesn't even expected at all. 266 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. 267 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's really hard to deal with when 268 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: you don't even like you don't even know where it 269 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: came from, because I think a lot of times in 270 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 1: breakups and divorces you have inklings about it, uh, and 271 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: you can kind of see. 272 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 2: The bedroom doing so hard yeahdad. 273 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, or like you're not talking, you're fighting more. 274 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 3: But here it seems the dishes are not getting put 275 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 3: up as well. There's like little food things that you notice, 276 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 3: like the lasagna used to taste a little bit better, 277 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:29,520 Speaker 3: but now don't. 278 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: Now it tastes like hate. Neither me or her knew 279 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 1: what to what was going on. Just last week he 280 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,359 Speaker 1: was planning a surprise getaway for their twentieth wedding anniversary 281 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: next year, and now he says he's been thinking about 282 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 1: divorce for a while and just can't do it anymore 283 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 1: and pretend he's happy. My mom was in shock, so 284 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 1: we left the house for a few hours. She was 285 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: in tears and just didn't understand what was happening. Neither 286 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 1: I thought it was a joke at first because it 287 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: was so sudden, and I always thought if either of 288 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: them did ever want a divorce there would be conversations 289 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 1: about it, but no, which I think that you should 290 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: always whenever you are having issues in your relationship, you 291 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: should bring them up. When we came home, he was 292 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: in his office and we haven't seen him. We did, however, 293 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: get a few messages from his side of the family 294 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 1: telling us they are thinking about us. So he has 295 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 1: told everyone that's annoying. All of his friends and family 296 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 1: that live on the other side of the country. 297 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 2: No, that would you wait. 298 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: I would wait at least until I've had a conversation 299 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: with my partner. I think that's kind of ridiculous that 300 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 1: he it seemingly based off of this post. He out 301 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 1: of nowhere said I want a divorce. Oh, he took 302 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 1: her mom away to like get some fresh air, and 303 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 1: then he told the whole family. 304 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 2: Think a lot of cheating in the chat. 305 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there's definitely someone else is a towny. And 306 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 3: he talks online because online education. 307 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 2: Yeah trust him. 308 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. 309 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 2: And you do online education, education, We trust you. 310 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: It all seems very sudden, and mainly I just don't 311 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 1: like that he told everyone without talking to his partner 312 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: about that, because that's a big deal. And I think that, 313 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: you know, regardless of whether or not the relationship is continuing, 314 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: I think that is still something that you have to 315 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: involve your ex partner. We then, or at least just 316 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: in like give her like. 317 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 2: A week at the very least, yeah, at least. 318 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: For a second. We then got a message from him 319 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: saying he's moving out and has rented a studio for 320 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: eight weeks and we'll be leaving tomorrow. He planned this, 321 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: He's been planning this. I mean, wtf my mom. My 322 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: mom asked if they could talk about it, maybe try 323 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: marriage counseling or something, but he said no, and that 324 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 1: it would be best for her to find a lawyer 325 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 1: as soon as possible. Then he went back into his office. 326 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I don't know how 327 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,239 Speaker 1: to help her. He just looks so broken down and 328 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 1: cries every time she thinks about it. Any advice would 329 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 1: be appreciated, and I apologize for the long ramble. I 330 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: just don't know what to do. I don't really have 331 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: any friends, always been the silent loaner type and just 332 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,120 Speaker 1: need to vent a bit. Thanks Reddit and edit, thank 333 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,400 Speaker 1: you for the comments already for so many of those 334 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 1: replying saying he's having an affair. He is adamant. There 335 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 1: isn't anyone else but just to put to mine at 336 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: my mind at ease. How could I check? I know 337 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,640 Speaker 1: for certain he couldn't have gotten anyone pregnant though I'm 338 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 1: not even his biological daughter, but wasn't sure if that 339 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 1: was relevant in the post. He met my mom when 340 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,399 Speaker 1: I was five months old, and my biodad has always 341 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: been mia and there is an update, but let's pause. Yeah, 342 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 1: there is an update. 343 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 2: Is uk a false state? I don't know Oka Uka 344 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 2: and let us know Ukan's uk Arians. Yeah. 345 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: I don't trust him one. The fact that he is 346 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 1: so quickly moving on, letting all of his family members 347 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: know that he's getting divorced feels like, you know, so 348 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: I'm not in the wrong when I move on to 349 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 1: someone else. And also he's getting a new place, dude. 350 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, the family's in on this. Yeah. 351 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 1: Well no, I don't think they're necessarily in on it. 352 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 1: I think it's just like now he has now, there's 353 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,639 Speaker 1: no way anyone like, let's say he starts dating someone 354 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: in the next two weeks, he can be like, oh, 355 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: there's no overlap because I divorced my I'm divorcing my wife. 356 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: So he just has that kind of his family knows, 357 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 1: is aware. That is what I'm thinking. I feel like 358 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 1: he might be I feel like he might be cheating. 359 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: This feels really sudden. 360 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 3: For a sudden I want to be happy now, Yeah, 361 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 3: he else is making you happy. 362 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,680 Speaker 1: He was making you happy, buddy, and also just going 363 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,959 Speaker 1: back to it regardless of whether he's cheating or not. 364 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 1: I think this is divorce and also a you know, 365 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, divorce and breakups are big deals, 366 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: and I think that throughout the relationship you need to 367 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: be making sure that you are setting boundaries and bringing 368 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 1: up things with your partner, because otherwise you're letting all 369 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 1: this build underneath, underneath the surface like this guy was, 370 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,680 Speaker 1: and making yourself more and more unhappy until the day 371 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: where like you just pop and everyone's like, what just happened? 372 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: What do you mean you're leaving? 373 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 2: What we say, Sophia, what the grass is always greener 374 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 2: where you water. 375 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: It's so true. Water that grass and talk to your partners. 376 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 1: Let them that's a good that's a good motto. Uh yeah, no, 377 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: let them into your your head. Stop where that came from. 378 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 2: I need to get off. 379 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,920 Speaker 1: No, I was just gonna say, yeah, understandably, it is 380 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 1: hard to talk to your partners, but do it. All right, 381 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 1: let's get into this update. Two days later, he's got 382 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: so he successfully moved out yesterday, a day later than 383 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 1: he originally planned. Lit. Oh, well, my mom and I 384 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 1: have both chatted to his sister, who lives on the 385 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: other side of the country, and everyone has reached the 386 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 1: agreement that he's having some sort of mental breakdown. WHOA, 387 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: that's like crazy that every like it doesn't seem like 388 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 1: they're thinking that he's cheating. They just think he's having 389 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: a mental breakdown. The divorce is totally out of left 390 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: field for everyone, and he has been behaving irrationally since. 391 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 1: We found out that he went on a spending spree 392 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,359 Speaker 1: and it ended up buying a twelve hundred pound phone 393 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: that he doesn't need and he has no idea how 394 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,400 Speaker 1: to even use. He also bought nearly two hundred worth 395 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,639 Speaker 1: of music albums for a concert that he is completely 396 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: upset sing over. He is also spent nearly four hundred 397 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 1: on clothes and shoes because he actually took very little 398 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 1: from the house before he left. 399 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 2: It's weird. These are all weird. 400 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 1: These are all. It sounds like he could also be 401 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:22,439 Speaker 1: going through a midlife crisis. Yeah, it sounds like he 402 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 1: could be going through a mid life crisis and maybe 403 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 1: he needs therapy. Maybe that's the but he doesn't even 404 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: want it. Opie's mom suggested couple's therapy and he was 405 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,479 Speaker 1: like no, he gave up. Also, he took his computer 406 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: with them so he could work, but left behind his mouse, keyboard, 407 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: and head set. He definitely isn't thinking straight. We've all 408 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,159 Speaker 1: made the decision for him to go down to his 409 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 1: sisters for a while, and they're going to stage a 410 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: mini intervention to see if they can get to the 411 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: bottom of his thinking, as he really isn't making sense 412 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 1: when he talks to anyone. Even his best friend has 413 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: been in contact as he's concerned that Dad is totally 414 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 1: changed and isn't acting like himself. That is everything that 415 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,960 Speaker 1: is happening so far. Thank you to the few people 416 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: who are actually who actually wrote some advice and didn't 417 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 1: jump to the conclusion that he's cheating like we did. 418 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 2: Oops. 419 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: I might update again in a few more days. Yeah, 420 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: it seems less likely that he's cheating, but I think 421 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: there is definitely some mental health thing going on. Uh, 422 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: And I think they should, you know, whether it's cheating 423 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: or not. I think they should get him checked out, 424 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,239 Speaker 1: maybe see if he can go to the like a 425 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: therapist or a doctor. I think the going taking him 426 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 1: to his sisters is a good idea, though, like staging 427 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 1: that quote unquote intervention. Valley Lilies his brain tuber so 428 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: does MJ grow. I think those are all possibilities, and 429 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,119 Speaker 1: I think he just needs to be checked out because 430 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,439 Speaker 1: this is a really sudden shift. It seems like like 431 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,160 Speaker 1: it seems the fact that everyone in the family, including 432 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: Opie and the mom, are like this is super sudden, 433 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:09,200 Speaker 1: super out of character. I think there's something going on. Yeah. Oh, 434 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 1: Dixy Blue Steele says, my neighbor started acting crazy. It 435 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 1: was carbon monoxide poisoning, which is isn't that how why 436 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: the like the witch the witch trials rappening Salem Witch Trials, 437 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,479 Speaker 1: wasn't I think I think that they said, like one 438 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: of the reasons was possibly carbon monoxide poisoning because that 439 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,160 Speaker 1: causes hallucinations. 440 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 3: I need to I need to look into that. I 441 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 3: love listening to video essays. Yeah, I listened to the 442 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 3: Cults of Scientology last night. 443 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: Oh that one's crazy. I listened to a podcast about that. 444 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,680 Speaker 1: But I think it was set in Australia or something. 445 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,400 Speaker 3: Dude shout out to Australia. They were not having any 446 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 3: of that. No, they were like, we're done, We're not 447 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:45,640 Speaker 3: accepting any of that. 448 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 2: Thank you. 449 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 1: But there is another story.